15+ IT Workers Confess Their Dirtiest Professional Secrets

Ahhh, office work. We’ve all been there are some point and it is… grueling. Don’t get me wrong, I love my coworkers, but office life definitely gets pretty old after a while. And if you’ve been working in the IT department? Life is just grueling.

IT guys are constantly being called in to fix the dumbest computer problems, many of which could probably be solved with a simple reboot. It’s a hard-knock life, but at least you can commiserate to strangers online.

1. That’s why they get paid well?

Photo Credit: Whisper

2. You should learn it because you’re old!

Photo Credit: Whisper

3. Time to get on Indeed!

Photo Credit: Whisper

4. No you don’t you big baby!

Photo Credit: Whisper

5. Thank you for your kindness

Photo Credit: Whisper

6. That’s still technically true.

Photo Credit: Whisper

7. What if I want to see you? hehehehehe

Photo Credit: Whisper

8. Time to get a different IT job!

Photo Credit: Whisper

9. Yeah, never yell. Why would you yell? Stop it.

Photo Credit: Whisper

10. If that existed, ANYBODY could push it. Duh…

Photo Credit: Whisper

11. Oh, ye of little faith…

Photo Credit: Whisper

12. Yes, and it’s still a blue screen.

Photo Credit: Whisper

13. Well, at least you’re not sharing those photos. Wait… are you?!

Photo Credit: Whisper

14. Haha, tier 2 support. Nice one.

Photo Credit: Whisper

15. Damn!

Photo Credit: Whisper

16. Tap the screen three times and then pray to the electricity gods…

Photo Credit: Whisper

17. Yeah, pretty much. Guess what won’t exist in the future when everybody knows this?

Photo Credit: Whisper

18. Then get some normal friends! Who said you have to make friends at work?!

Photo Credit: Whisper

19. Oh come on… get out of here!

Photo Credit: Whisper

So what do you think? Understand more about IT workers or hate them more?

I feel a bit more empathetic, but that’s me. I’m nice and kind and wise.

And attractive. Let’s not forget attractive.

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11 People Who Have No Clue How Female Anatomy Works

Funny thing about the internet: it allows you to become famous not only for being great but also for being truly, epically, horrifically bad.

Take these bozos for example: their claim to infamy is having NO CLUE how the female body works. I mean, seriously, did they never take biology?

1. (Oris) it?

Photo Credit: Myceliemz24/reddit

2. Oh shut up and go to bed, Philip!

Photo Credit: anafuckboi /reddit

3. She’s not wrong… but he definitely is.

Photo Credit: rockservent/reddit.com

4. This is actually true. People were scared AF of trains.

Photo Credit: sgtlizzie/reddit.com

5. Not even with the tiniest “probe”

6. Pro tip. You should def try it sometime.

Photo Credit: Kore624/reddit

7. That escalated at lightning speed!

Photo Credit: aguadiablo

8. Imagine having to sit next to anybody who actually believes this?

Photo Credit: kittydarko/reddit

9. But testosterone is cool, right bro?

Photo Credit: chopstunk/reddit

10. I wonder how much cow pee this guy has consumed…

Photo Credit: cainisrealcool/reddit

11. #toodumbforlife

Photo Credit: Clementine_696/reddit

Faith in humanity NOT restored.

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10 Hilarious Tumblr Posts That Delighted and Terrified All of Us

I visit Tumblr religiously every day, because people on Tumblr post the most random things. A lot of those things are instantly relatable to me, so I figured I’d share some with you:

1. I wonder what his apartment looks like…

Photo Credit: deadendfairy.tumblr

2. Tanks for the memories

3. Dat ass!

Photo Credit: likeigiveabother.tumblr

4. That escalated quickly!

Photo Credit: mintsyrup.tumblr

5.  But how?

Photo Credit: beysexuality.tumblr

6. So would that be another way to lose your virginity?

Photo Credit: morgrana.tumblr

7. That’s how you get dead

Photo Credit: krafteasymac.tumblr

8. How prehistoric of you…

9. Everything about this is scary and fantastic. More please.

Photo Credit: stonebutchbliss.tumblr

10. At least you’re motivated

Photo Credit: boethiah.tumblr

You’re welcome. 🙂

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10+ Tumblr Stories to Entertain You for the Next Week or So

I freakin’ love Tumblr. For real, it’s pretty much the best place for everything.

Like stories. Tumblr has some of the best stories. I’ve been laughing at these for the past week or so, and I figured I’d share the love with you.

1. Confessions of a pizza driver…

Photo Credit: tybaar

2. Wait for it…

Photo Credit: smeliot

3. Grandparents are adorable.

Photo Credit: asunsetdream

Seriously tho, about that mac and chee….

4. I’m crying too tbh

Photo Credit: rearfront.com

5. This kid is goin places.

Photo Credit: lesbianshepard

6. The most powerful f*cking child in the universe.

Photo Credit: flapperwitch

7. OMG. LEGENDARY. (STEALING)

Photo Credit: avocado–toast

8. ‘I am afraid…’

Photo Credit: and-down-we-go

9. You can potty train a goat?? Oh…

Photo Credit: textpost-blog

10. Revenge is suh-WEET

Photo Credit: nogenderinthewasteland

11. Not-Jason is my kinda dude.

Photo Credit: coolmomsvevo

12. Ugh small talk is the worst

Photo Credit: mathed-potatoes

13. Well that escalated quickly.

Photo Credit: hermininy

14. ROBIN HOOD LIVES AMONG US

Photo Credit: thestirge

Well, it’s been grand. See you in a week when you come back for more… 😉

The post 10+ Tumblr Stories to Entertain You for the Next Week or So appeared first on UberFacts.

10+ You’ve Definitely Thought About but Would Never Admit

I’ll admit it: I’m definitely guilty of having thought about most of these at least once. Then again, I’m a pretty open guy.

Most people, however, tend to keep their weirdness hidden away. These are the kinds of thoughts most of us would never admit to, because then people might see you in a different (and potentially negative) light.

1. Oooh stealing

2. Yarp

Photo Credit: ejacutastic.tumblr.com

3. Same

Photo Credit: snoia.tumblr.com

4. Me

5. A happy ending

6. GO ON…

7. Of course

Photo Credit: bottledminx.tumblr.com

8. Don’t we all

Photo Credit: miyuki-naruto.tumblr.com

9. Omg me too

10. Uhhh…

Photo Credit: batreaux.tumblr.com

11. YES YES I DO

12. Only every day

13. Really tho?

Photo Credit: ameliahensley.tumblr.com

14. Also me

I feel more empowered already! Let’s go do so many things with our new, shared, unstoppable knowledge!

The post 10+ You’ve Definitely Thought About but Would Never Admit appeared first on UberFacts.

10+ People Who are Clueless About How the Female Body Works

If you’ve been on the internet at all, you know that misinformation is an epidemic. Particularly when it comes to sexuality and health, it seems like thousands of people out there skipped their high school health classes altogether.

Oh, sure, everyone thinks they’re an expert. But what they really “know” about female anatomy is horrifyingly, hilariously incorrect. Some think girls pee out of their vaginas. Others think periods are made out of the blood of dead babies. You know, fun stuff like that.

So sit back, relax and laugh.

1. This dude tried to write something snarky on the comment section of an Onion article titled, “Frustrated Gunman Can’t Believe How Far He Has to Drive to Find Nearest Planned Parenthood Clinic.” He became a bigger joke than the article. (via MsManifesto)

Photo Credit: Reddit

2. Redditor _ahsatan started a conversation about female anatomy when they had to explain that you don’t pee out of your clitoris.

I just taught my sister-in-law (26) and my husband (31) that women do not, in fact, pee from the clit. What are the most ridiculous ideas you’ve heard about the female body?

3. thumper5 responded to _ahsatan with a period myth women wish were true.

That you can “hold” your period blood the same way you can hold your pee. I had an incredibly stupid boyfriend once that wouldn’t stop at a gas station on our way someplace because he thought I could just hold it til we got there.

ETA: that women only use one pad/tampon per period. That pads/tampons/etc aren’t necessary hygiene items.

4. Through all the spelling errors and profanity, it seems this woman thinks that vaginas smell because of years of semen building up inside? (via Reddit user lady-linux)

Photo Credit: Imgur

5. wicksa, a labor and delivery nurse, had many stories to share about female anatomy myths that will make you want to campaign for sex-ed in all schools immediately.

Oh, my time to shine! I am an L&D nurse and I hear some weird shit, especially from teen moms.

“My friend told me that if I douched with sprite after having sex, I couldn’t get pregnant.” – 16 year old in labor

“I tried to schedule a c section because my pussy is really tight and I know a baby ain’t gonna fit through there. The doctor wouldn’t let me.” The baby did indeed fit with no assistance (meaning no vaccuum or forceps, a doctor was totally there haha).

5 foot tall 120 lb girl who looks so pregnant it’s like she swallowed a beach ball, hasn’t had her period in 9+ months, is sexually active, shows up to ER with abdominal pains (contractions!): “I didn’t know I was pregnant.”

“I’m not going to breastfeed because I am afraid it will turn me on too much. I like nipple play during sex.”

6. This man tries to correlate the thigh gap to the size of one’s vagina, even though it seems pretty obvious that no one would ever let him near their vag. (via Redditor dustinyo_)

Photo Credit: Reddit

Photo Credit: Reddit

Photo Credit: Reddit

Photo Credit: Reddit

7. Even though this commenter has had given birth to two children of her own, she still does not understand how pregnancy works. (via Gingevere)

Photo Credit: Imgur

I dont think that there is enough space for a baby in there. I’ve had 2 kids and they both liked 2 move around and that wouldn’t have been possible in such a Tiny bell. Everyone carries different but working out like that and leaving your baby with little space is not okay. A baby needs 2 tumble en move around. Dont be selfish and workout hardcore 2 keep super thin.

8. Redditor katiedid05 posted this unsettling screenshot of a teenager condescendingly explaining how the clitoris has to grow ten centimeters before giving birth.

Photo Credit: Someecards

sorry but in childbirth you clitoris will need to grow up to 10cm to actually give birth…thats why they say you need to be 10cm dialated to start pushing…im not even 18 yet and i got that one right :/

9. midnasays found this perplexing meme that tries to slut shame women who prefer to use pads?

Photo Credit: Reddit

10. This poor woman thinks she needs a placenta transplant. (via pleasuretohaveinclas)

Photo Credit: Reddit

11. One time an anti-abortion lawmaker asked why women couldn’t just swallow a camera to expedite the process of getting a gynecological exams. Yes, a man who makes laws said this. (via Huffington Post)

During a debate over an anti-abortion bill, a Republican lawmaker in Idaho asked Monday whether women can just swallow a tiny camera in order to conduct a gynecological exam remotely with a doctor.

According to the Associated Press, Idaho Rep. Vito Barbieri (R) posed the bizarre question to Dr. Julie Madsen, who was testifying against a bill that would ban doctors from prescribing medication abortion via webcam unless they have examined the woman in person. Madsen had to explain to Barbieri that swallowed items, like pills, do not land in the vagina.

12. pizzaoverload shared this comment that they found on a YouTube video where a woman (Chris) announced that she got her period back after years of over-training and dieting.

Chris, I know I am male but I have always had somehow an internal sensing that women’s period is blood that is not up to standard and the body must get rid of it. As well as many females think something is wrong with them when they don’t have a period something tells me if your detoxing well through exercise and clean diet that if the body has clean blood and there is nothing to recycle out you just won’t have a period. Just like a lot of women of little bodyfat. I think a female loses their period because the body is that clean and detoxed. I see it as a good thing if this is the case. If this is the case then most females just are not optimal detoxed and the body has to force it through a period to keep the system clean. What are your thoughts is this possible? With Love JC.

13. In a horrifying true story, a so-called “sexual assault expert investigator” had to be told what a cervix was in court.

In the reinvestigation of the case of Kelli Smith, a young driver who killed a father of two while driving the wrong way down a one way street, it was discovered that the woman may have been slipped a date rape drug which caused the accident. Although initially there was no investigation into a possible rape, it was discovered that the woman sustained injuries to her cervix and was found at the scene of the crime without pants or underwear on. Sexual assault expert investigator Eric Stacks was called in to look into whether or not Smith was raped, which prompted defense attorney Jennifer Bukowsky to ask Stacks about the injury.

Bukowsky: In your experience with car crashes how many times do you see injuries to a cervix?

Stacks: I don’t know what you’re asking me, to a cervix?

Bukowsky: You don’t know what a cervix is?

Stacks: No. explain that to me, please.

14. This person thinks that the menstrual cycle is unnatural, and suggests basically starving yourself to stop it. (via PM_me_a_scary_thing from Reddit)

Photo Credit: Imgur

I mean, what the actual f*** people?

The post 10+ People Who are Clueless About How the Female Body Works appeared first on UberFacts.

These Dad Jokes Are So Bad, They’re Kinda Great

“Dad, I’m Hungry.”

“Hi, Hungry. I’m Dad.”

Dad jokes are an almost intrinsic part of being a father. It almost seems like the minute you have a kid, the universe bestows this ability to make predictable, innocent, and seriously “punny” jokes out of anything at a moment’s notice.

Dad jokes are such a universal phenomenon that there’s even a Twitter hashtag (#dadjokes) dedicated to them!

Photo Credit: Twitter, @MistiMinx_

Photo Credit: Twitter, @ManHusbandDad

Photo Credit: Twitter, @bobhoss

Photo Credit: Twitter, @ervah_noir

 

Photo Credit: Twitter, @phillrussell25

Photo Credit: Twitter, @tgn_marketing

Photo Credit: Twitter, @Roxier1980

Photo Credit: Twitter, @RandomJokesIO

Photo Credit: Twitter, @dabblingchef

Photo Credit: Twitter, @fuselamb

For more laughs, check out #dadjokes. Be be warned – these jokes are nutritiously corny.

The post These Dad Jokes Are So Bad, They’re Kinda Great appeared first on UberFacts.