Category: Funny

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Very Questionable Ways People “Saved Money”

Almost everybody I know is looking for ways to save a buck here and there. But some of us go to extremes.

Like Rubba Band Grant on Twitter here:

Now, we’re pretty sure that’s just theft…though maybe he was joking? Whatever, we’re not the cops. We’re just invested weirdos who went on to scroll endlessly through the replies and find a bunch of other surprising ways that people *ahem* saved money.

Some of them truly were just “being cheap,” but others…well, again. We’re not the cops.

So let’s just look at the tweets.

10. You are banned

This is like a really low key sequel to Ocean’s 11.

9. Stay on target

Um…yeah this is just theft. Like, three times over.

8. Peak Philly

I wish I had those kinds of skills.

7. The tube

How devilishly clever.

6. Complimentary

Eh, who’s gonna know?

5. Stacks on stacks

I’m sure you looked lovely.

4. Phoney business

If I’m reading this right, I’m pretty sure you’re just describing blackmail.

3. I scream

Hope nobody got fired.

2. Free 99

Again, sure hope nobody got fired.

1. Punching up

That’s a short con I can get behind.

So remember, if you gotta save money, maybe try to like…avoid jail in the process.

Do you have a story like this?

Tell us in the comments.

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10 Big Fails in the Name of Getting the Perfect Shot

I’m not big into Instagram or having much of a presence or a “brand” on social media, it’s not something I work to cultivate or think about a whole lot. But for some people, it seems like it’s a way of life. You gotta get the shot, no matter what.

And since necessity is the mother of invention, people get pretty creative – and pretty risky – in their pursuit of grabbing that perfect snap. Love it or hate it, it’s a real part of our world, and the behind the scenes results can be hilarious.

Just check out some of the things you may need to be willing to do in order to truly up your social media game.

10. Get a little wet

It’s so predictable but it’s still so satisfying to watch.

9. Make a scene

I think while we’re still having to follow mask protocols and aisle directions, this should be straight up illegal.

8. Get upside down

You really gotta work as a team.

7. Work the sidewalk

Excuse me…ma’am? I need to get to the bus stop. Ma’am!

6. Stop traffic

This would be a super cool way to die.

5. Go to space

How did you even get that thing, bro?

4. Wiggle that booty

Who wants to see this and why?

3. Catch some waves

Again, predictable and satisfying.

2. Get a little rocky

IT JUST NEVER FAILS!

1. Go up in smoke

We get it, you vape.

Hey man, ya gotta shoot your shot.

How much do you care about your Instagram presence?

Tell us in the comments.

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Tweets That Really Deserve to be Preserved

Did you know that the Library of Congress used to archive every tweet ever sent?

Everything inane, everything hilarious, everything historic, everything Presidential, everything that fit all four of those categories. It’s really pretty mind-boggling to think about.

In fact their minds might have gotten just a little bit too boggled, because they became more selective about what they decided to archive starting in 2017.

From that point on, you might be gettin’ into the great library, and ya might not. The thing is, there are something like 350,000 new Tweets sent out every single minute, and continuing to archive that compounding mass just became too big of a task.

However, I’d like to nominate these particular tweets for preservation. For us. For our future.

14. Trouble in the water

Dolphins are the jocks of the ocean.

13. Money talks

Ok but can you explain shorting to me?

12. Marching on

Colbert has always been ahead of his time.

11. Crashing

Life imitates art imitating life.

10. Meme queen

Ah the good old days.

9. Taking stock

Education subverted.

8. It’s magic

This seems like what their strategy has been.

 

7. Dog on the run

Is he in the witness protection program?

6. Life hack

Work smarter, not harder.

5. It’s in the bag

My hubris has been my undoing.

4. Quiet down

You know what you did.

3. Don’t question it

Our butts have something to say.

2. Spell it out

This is the future that liberals want.

1. All an act

Thank you for coming to my one woman show.

Just perfect. They need to be passed down to posterity. Get on it, Congress.

What Twitter account would you like preserved forever?

Tell us in the comments.

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Tweets For People Who Are Always Late

I believed that once I started working from home, and most everyone else did too, that things would be better for me in one important way.

Once ALL meetings went to video chat, and all assignments were just pinged back and forth between apartments, I thought to myself “At least I’ll never be late now.”

What a fool I was.

Somehow I have managed to be late for things that have involved nothing more than walking the ten feet from my bedroom to my desk. SOMEHOW I’ve even managed to mess up the timing when I’m already AT my desk and I just forgot to open up the link in time. It’s a sad state of affairs. But I know I’m not alone, because I’ve got a lot of fellow “always lates” on Twitter to commiserate with.

10. Common courtesy

Can’t you see that I’m terrified and full of misdirected rage?

9. Sublime connections

And then you get that rush of a feeling like “Maybe we’ll cancel.”

8. Identity crisis

You can accuse me of many things, but of this my hands are clean.

7. Short sighted

It’s true, that’s just science.

6. Double jeopardy

In for a dime, in for a dollar.

5. Slow your roll

That is a straight up power move right there.

4. Let ’em loose

You’d be shocked how quickly I can get on a high horse.

3. Fool me once, shame on you

Fool me thirty seven times, why are we even still friends?

2. The towel game

This is an ancient ritual which mustn’t be disturbed.

1. Savor it

It’s the little things.

 

I guess there’s just no hope for me and my lateness.

But what about you? Can you actually manage to get places on time? If so, how?

Tell us your secrets in the comments.

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Tweets That Are Totally Perfect For You

Have you seen any good tweets around lately? I’ve been lookin’ and lookin’ and for the life of me I just can’t seem to track any down.

I’ve tried everything – the park, under my couch, beneath the fears I keep locked away within my deepest self, and nothin’!

I guess maybe I could try scrolling down. See if there are any tweets below this text. But, yanno, I DOUBT it.

10. Deep fears

I experienced quicksand in real life for the first time recently and let me tell you, it is, at worst, trippy.

9. Silly goose

“We tried to warn ya man! Get out of our pavilion, man!”

8. Uber sneaky

“Oh crap I was supposed to take a picture, here ya go.”

7. Frog day afternoon

He blob. He frog. He nap inside he bog.

6. Let him speak!

The pressure is too much and I just sorta crumble.

5. Checkmate

Just give them some bread and let them be.

4. The big five

That’s an enormous accomplishment, maybe. Depends on the content of the mails.

3. New expectations

The bags within the bag always feels stupid until the moment you need it and you can’t find it.

2. Do the math

Hey, that sounds like a pretty sweet deal.

1. On the flip side

It’s all me, and it’s all a mess.

Oh wow, it turns out the Tweets were here all along! On this very page! And inside all of us! The internet truly is a magical place.

Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter?

Tell us in the comments.

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Tweets That Will Make You Feel Old…In a Good Way

It’s one thing to realize that you’re no longer in the youngest generation around, it’s another thing altogether to realize that the younger generation is now going to college and taking over the culture and you’re no longer cool if you ever were.

Though to be honest, it’s not all bad. The pressure to be cool is overwhelming. Not to mention stupid. To be told “hey don’t worry about it, there’s a whole new shift of people competing to be cool now, nothing is expected of you, you’re relieved of duty” is sort of nice.

So I don’t mind these tweets that make me feel old. I embrace them. I enjoy them. And I hope you will too.

12. Oh, baby

How do you still have the stamina to go to a club?

11. Rock my world

Timeline aside, that’s not their genre.

10. Sharpen up

Do kids use exclusively mechanical pencils now? Do they use no pencils? Help me.

9. Dolla dolla bills

Oh how quickly we forget.

8. How touching

“Let me tell you about this little piece of madness called the scroll wheel.”

7. Hawk one up

They just re-released this, so maybe he’ll know soon?

6. Compliments of the house

Wait. This was posted in 2018. If that guy was born in ’98, that means he was either 20 or 21.
In other words, exactly the perfect age range for ID to be required.

5. Cool hang

“PHONES ONCE HAD CRADLES, LIKE BABIES! I SWEAR IT!”

4. Bitter sweet

It was a virus portal is what it was.

3. A curse on our house

Let them laugh.
Let them mock.
Their time is coming soon enough.

2. Pay to play

It took us way too long to realise cable TV was a scam.

1. Girl, bye

Just hit me with the truth.

These tweets have made me feel so old that I think I can legally retire now.

How old do you feel, and why?

Tell us in the comments.

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Memes To Make You LOL

The memes we’ve gathered up today are mostly made for a female demographic, but I say bust the molds, screw the preconceptions, these are funny no matter who you are.

Unless who you are is someone who is incapable of finding memes funny, I guess, in which case you should really go see a doctor immediately.

Otherwise, you should sit back and enjoy these memes!

10. Get a leg up

These are clearly different shades, what are you, blind?

Via: Someecards

9. Too much chill

I could just live in a sock, that would be fine.

Via: Someecards

8. Sharing is caring

Look buddy, I didn’t get a phone so that people could call me.

Via: Someecards

7. Once again

This me after a little too much puff puff pass pass.

Via: Someecards

6. Into the woods

We’ve all got our dreams and aspirations.

Via: Someecards

5. Dead serious

We’re all just at the mercy of our brain chemicals, if ya think about it.

Via: Someecards

4. Special delivery

Think INSIDE the box.

Via: Someecards

3. Mighty neighborly

Sounds like things are getting pretty thorny over there.

Via: Someecards

2. Beanie babies

Oh Frank, what has become of you?

Via: Someecards

1. A great idea

You had me at “drink.”

Via: Someecards

Now THOSE are some quality memes. You’re not gonna find memes like that unless you look, like, generally anywhere on the internet.
Like, there are probably some standing right behind you this VERY MOMENT!

Speaking of which, what’s your favorite spot to find new memes?

Tell us in the comments.

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Funny Memes For All the Ladies Out There

We’ve got some memes here that are specially curated for some lady-types, though honestly, I love ’em all, and I’m not a lady-type. I don’t think, anyway?

Note to self: look into this. Further research is needed. Also, get a notepad so you stop writing these things on your hand.

Anyway, you should not think about it too hard and just enjoy these memes.

10. Skin and bones

He didn’t survive, but he set an example for us all.

Via: Someecards

9. The big switch

Look, don’t worry about it, just keep scrolling.

Via: Someecards

8. True intimacy

We’re not gonna put on any masks tonight.

Via: Someecards

7. A shoe in

Oh, the agony of the feet.

Via: Someecards

6. Playing games

That relationship sounds exhausting but ok.

Via: Someecards

5. Space trash

Our whole planet is just some rocks that floated together after a thingy went boom.

Via: Someecards

4. I don’t take shift

You can keep that crap to yourself.

Via: Someecards

3. No butts about it

I wish I could be in charge of this stuff.

Via: Someecards

2. Card games

This is ever so slightly inconvenient, I won’t survive it.

Via: Someecards

1. The cold truth

Just put me in a furnace already.

Via: Someecards

Note to self: go find more memes, these seem fun. Also, seriously, get a notebook or an app or something, I’m running out of space to write this on my arm.

What’s your favorite place to find new memes?

Give us all of your hot tips in the comments, won’t you?

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What is “Boomer Culture?”? 10 Tweets Reveal All…

You’ve probably heard that the older generation around today are called “boomers” – though it’s important to note they’re far from the oldest generations around.

Depending on your definition, there are still many from The Silent Generation, a few from The Greatest Generation, and even a handful from The Interbellum Generation, which started at the turn of the 20th century.

“Boomer” is short for “Baby Boomer,” a term first coined in 1963 by the Salt Lake Tribune. It refers to the folks born just after World War II, when soldiers returning home en masse and a renewed sense of hope led to an enormous “boom” in U.S. births.

But that’s what academics think of baby boomers. What does…say…Twitter think?

10. Being extra

Yeah that’s called having money.

9. Good jokes

Thanks, the cashier definitely hasn’t heard that a billion times today.

8. Line skipping

Yeah but all of you are YOU, and I’m ME. See the difference?

7. The Chipootles

I don’t care how you pronounce it, it’s delicious.

6. The audacity

But my EYES saw a thing and now they want that thing!

5. An air of exclusivity

I wash my hands of all of it.

4. The unfair game

Bonus points if you actually call the waiter over to complain about this, as though there’s something they can do about it.

3. Bad entrances

“Meh, that’s for other people.”

2. The contradictions

Very weird to want more for your kids, but not to want your kids to know anything you didn’t.

1. The saltiness

Welp, today I learned I’m a boomer.

But yanno, don’t take any of those jabs too seriously, boomers. After all, it’s just Twitter. And that place is a mess.

What would you add to this list?

Tell us in the comments.

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Tweets We Think Will Make You LOL

Look, the internet loves cats. We know this. It’s practically a law of nature. It’s practically in the Bible.

But just because we love them doesn’t mean we have to surrender everything to them. We have to put our human paws down every once in a while and say NO. THESE TWEETS ARE FOR HUMANS. NOT FOR KITTIES.

If it wasn’t apparent, my cat and I are in the fight right now and I’m not sharing any of the cool tweets I find with him. But I’ll share ’em with you:

10. Nobody’s hero

And then you hear those little creaky guitar sounds and it’s just all over for you.

9. Bag check

They best not have forgot my fries or we’re gonna have words.

8. The mantra

It’s solid policy like this that should have landed him the nomination.

7. That’s a wrap

It’s a tough jobs but somebody’s gotta do it.

6. Growing pains

Things get more confusing.

5. What a vibe

I’m at the KFC
I’m at the Sephora
I’m at the combination KFC / Sephora

4. Gotta bounce

Come to think of it, there are few “fun” activities that are more embarrassing.

3. Gran-berry

Click the image if you can’t see the punchline yet.

2. Oh, baby

Somebody on Twitter said he was about to drop the hottest album of 2002.

1. Sweet release

Don’t do it. Seriously, it’s gonna hurt.

My cat and I have now reconciled and I’ve lifted him to the screen to show him the tweets. He didn’t laugh though, so we’re fighting again.

Who are the best people on Twitter today?

Tell us in the comments.

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