Tweets Designed to Make You Laugh

Hello, kids. It is I, a young person. I’m here to enjoy with you the things that we like, specifically Tweets.

No old or out of touch folks here, no sirree. Certainly nobody around who would unironically use the phrase “no sirree.” Just us youths. Youths as far as the eye can see.

Here are eleven Tweets that your dad won’t like.

11. It’s time to stop

Surely if I get it down to the second I can explain myself.

she has had it pic.twitter.com/9Kg7WTx3Vh

— d (@daItoncsmith) November 30, 2020

10. Blue sea blues

Everyone be quiet, I want to hear his music.

Do sharks play the harmonica like
this or this pic.twitter.com/IDDh5YcFuJ

— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) July 1, 2020

9. Holy crop

I would like “The shade, the skill” to be what goes on my headstone, please.

my parents are divorced and I posted the first pic and my dad took it and CROPPED MY MOM OUT I-

the SHADE?????

the SKILL??? pic.twitter.com/w657XdfVlg

— courtney (@courtmaloney) November 30, 2020

8. Missing persons

It’s the thought that counts.

i’ve been really missing my friends lately so naturally i didn’t reach out or communicate with them whatsoever

— Matt. (@MattTheBrand) December 15, 2020

7. The sh*t is bananas

“It’s one banana Michael, how much could it cost? Ten dollars?”

Thank you corporation very cool pic.twitter.com/VuFtTL0HPE

— Hey what the fuck is Manifest Gang bruh?? (@Bass_Buny) November 30, 2020

6. I scream

As someone who has had to run around in these costumes before, thank you for your service.

cmon son.. pic.twitter.com/TeqtY92gQ5

— ITS NOT MY BDAY NO MO (@LilTreProd) April 5, 2020

5. Game night in

Don’t truck with this guy.

Quarantine day 6. pic.twitter.com/er652Oy3Ki

— jamie (@gnuman1979) March 16, 2020

4. Out of this world

You might wanna just kinda stay up there for a while.

Congratulations to the Astronauts that left Earth today. Good choice

— Andy Milonakis (@andymilonakis) May 30, 2020

3. Big accomplishments

How is he still literally smokin’ hot?

Me after sending out exactly one email pic.twitter.com/BeBoAWwhFF

— Father Sean Misty (@seanieviola) November 18, 2020

2. This and that

You gotta stay original and stay on brand.

2020 email intros are getting creative. pic.twitter.com/D6C5w6fPyl

— Laura Jákli (@laurajakli) October 13, 2020

1. Save it up

I hope it’s enough to make the sun stop setting at like 3:00 pm in Chicago because this is bogus.

HOW MUCH DAYLIGHT THEY TRYNA SAVE?? like damn bitch

— LIL’ PLUMP (@thiccandtired__) November 12, 2020

Totally radical, am I correct my young peers? And now I am off to do the TikTok magnesium challenge or whatever it is we do.

Who are your favorite people on the Tweeters?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Tweets Designed to Make You Laugh appeared first on UberFacts.

February 10, 2021

Tweets So Good You Might Want to Kiss Them

Have you ever seen a Tweet so good you wish you could be friends with it? Or maybe even MORE than friends?

I mean, think about it. They could have made anything the icon for expressing your approval of a tweet, but they went with a romantic red heart.

So, do you like the tweet or do you LIKE like the tweet? See how each of these tickles your fancy.

11. Share a coke

Don’t forget that they gave out heroin as medicine.

At least during the 1918 pandemic they had cocaine in their soda

— sarah slothanova (@slothanova) July 30, 2020

10. A hand out

Um…do you mean like…handing someone money? That’s not new.

Me, at check out: pic.twitter.com/YT2nbpuQsJ

— Yūsuke With The D'ūsuke (@JustYusefDotCom) September 29, 2020

9. Edgy comedy

That is just flat out wrong.

I just got kicked out of a flat earth Facebook group because I asked if the 6 foot social distancing guideline had pushed anyone over the edge yet.

— Kevin Shanks (@forensictoxguy) August 2, 2020

8. We are not smiles times

Hey how about you drink an entire glass of chill and get back to me.

I hate networking pic.twitter.com/FaOMQVJDT9

— Adam Karpiak (@Adam_Karpiak) September 30, 2020

7. The final countdown

Ironically, you should probably see a therapist about this.

asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. asked them the same thing until i got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life

— tatum (@50FirstTates) October 8, 2020

6. Bird brains

“Nobody even drops good food anymore, this is bogus.”

they've had enough pic.twitter.com/qK3wngDJnB

— Pablo Rochat (@PabloRochat) July 21, 2020

5. Somethin’ nice

See, you’re joking, but the reality is you could use Bezos’ money to buy a mansion and if nobody told him he’d literally never know.

Jeff Bezos: “Take my credit card, go buy me a coke and get yourself something too”

Me: pic.twitter.com/aZZv1QuOKA

— Steady (@SteadyIsFlying) July 22, 2020

4. Sunk in

Oh hey there toilet, it’s me, ya boy.

This is when you start praying like “Hey God it’s me again, make me feel better and I won’t ever drink again” pic.twitter.com/uZphGPzwh1

— Brian (@itsbriancuh) October 13, 2020

3. The artistry

Every once in a while I’ll still see these in the wild and just marvel at ’em.

reject embrace
modernity tradition pic.twitter.com/QUEOoJrOWx

— rip zeph (@zephanijong) December 16, 2020

2. Party time!

To be fair to her, it’s a ridiculous custom we’ve created.

My 72 year-old mother just informed me she is going to her first "sex party" and doesn't know what to bring.

After some delicate questioning, "Gender Reveal, Mom. It's called a Gender Reveal."

— Balm Threat (@balmthreat) June 15, 2020

1. Leaked footage

Your son is absolutely going places and I would like to follow.

My son came and got me, saying there was a serious leak under the kitchen sink. pic.twitter.com/OEqnR1McJ6

— Tenessa Gemelke (@gemelket) July 14, 2020

I’m gonna take all those tweets out to make out point and just smooch ’em. You can’t stop me.

Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Tweets So Good You Might Want to Kiss Them appeared first on UberFacts.

February 10, 2021

Tweets For You to Read on the Toilet

Sorry if this is too personal a question but are you like, in the bathroom right now?

It’s cool if you are, I’m not here to judge. In fact, I do it all the time, and what I like to have alongside me for a nice long potty sit are some good tweets to read.

So in the spirit of all that, I hope you like these tweets?

And I hope your um…session goes well.

10. Oy, mate

I was gonna say I’m pretty sure that’s Adam Driver but to each their own.

Idk how to explain it but this cat looks British pic.twitter.com/18YwLijpSI

— Sarah (@skadumi28) December 9, 2020

9. Special effects

Well, if you can’t celebrate the little things…

my mom just learned how to use text effects lol pic.twitter.com/K0Pi1IcOmo

— milk (@milkinhisbag) April 14, 2020

8. An explosion of flavor

He appears to be surprised, but not in the least bit sorry.

My coffee art today is a cat letting off an atomic bomb pic.twitter.com/uCNJ8plZ5E

— Marty (@smartyy) October 19, 2020

7. Wall to wall

Cool cool cool cool, you’re gonna need to go ahead and move out immediately.

My sister moved into a new house and found this in the wall of her basement pic.twitter.com/37cHIxQmvN

— The Only Living Dead Girl in New York (@missjellinsky) December 2, 2020

6. Inception

How come nobody in Star Wars has ever said those words together?

when someone says the title of the movie in the movie pic.twitter.com/8iqOQkjttF

— Mike Scollins (@mikescollins) April 5, 2020

5. Screening process

Oh cool now I’m sad about everything, thanks.

another day of staring at the big screen while scrolling through my little screen so as to reward myself for staring at the medium screen all week

— Delia Cai (@delia_cai) November 22, 2020

4. Highway hypnosis

How are any of us even alive at this point?

me forgetting that i exist while i’m driving pic.twitter.com/ZT0dg1Dtbx

— Cupid’s Nut (@damn_lui) September 5, 2020

3. Lawless times

I mean, Google exists so just better hope they don’t check anything.

there's literally no law that says you can't put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job, literally there's no law that says that

— jacky (@JackWilliamRtF) November 18, 2020

2. A great personality

I had to learn how to cope with it all somehow.

“you’re so funny” thanks i did not have sex in high school

— Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) September 4, 2020

1. Nun of your business

Dude I would have so many questions, that is a thoroughly trippy episode.

What's your weakest claim to fame? I once dated the cousin of someone who played a cat nun on Doctor Who.

— Steve O'Brien (@MrsSteveMOBrien) November 2, 2020

Don’t forget to wash your hands when you’re done. Also, other people need to use the room, you should probably get up now.

What’s your favorite thing to scroll through in the bathroom?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Tweets For You to Read on the Toilet appeared first on UberFacts.

February 10, 2021

15 Memes We Think You’ll Love

You ready for some memes? I assume that’s why you clicked on this. If you were looking for like, deals on silverware or whatever, we can’t help you.

But memes? Oh yeah, we got those.

15. The best of friends

I feel like I’m being set up for a Fox & The Hound situation and I’m already crying.

11. It’s time to stop

10. Blue sea blues

9. Holy crop

8. Missing persons

7. The sh*t is bananas

6. I scream

5. Game night in

4. Out of this world

3. Big accomplishments

2. This and that

1. Save it up

11. Share a coke

10. A hand out

9. Edgy comedy

8. We are not smiles times

7. The final countdown

6. Bird brains

5. Somethin’ nice

4. Sunk in

3. The artistry

2. Party time!

1. Leaked footage

10. Oy, mate

9. Special effects

8. An explosion of flavor

7. Wall to wall

6. Inception

5. Screening process

4. Highway hypnosis

3. Lawless times

2. A great personality

1. Nun of your business

15. The best of friends

14. Get in

13. The betrayal

12. Mourning person

11. Poor thing

10. Saving grace

9. In the cards

8. Real life

7. Special delivery

6. Sleep on it

5. Knock knock

4. The best part of waking up

3. It’s showtime!

2. It’s lit

1. The one true response

1. Now THAT is game. Damn son!

2. What were Pringles’ tubes doing at the movies?!?

3. Oh damn!

4. Well, you weren’t THAT far off…

5. Holy sh^t! That’s some real real.

6. At least you know he can save you…

7. Awwww, that’s so sweet!

8. Tragedy sometimes helps love…

9. Good start, kids!

10. Huzzah, my dudes!

11. There are still Red Boxes?!

10. “Boom boxes”

9. Responsible eating

8. The tired game

7. A breadtangle of pizza

6. Dashed expectations

5. Lotsa pain

4. Early to bed

3. You’re a classic now

2. Very different paths

1. Flip phones

1. NEVER lie about mental illness.

2. If you do this, you’re a COMPLETE piece of sh^t.

3. Not mad at this bestie!

4. Not your bestie then…

5. Wow. That’s cold.

6. How were you going to get away with this?!?

7. Well, not mad at this smart ass b**ch…

8. So f*cked up. Jeezus…

9. Oh my f**king gawd!

10. What a horrible thing to do!

1. She sells sea shells by the sea shore…

2. Rock it so f**king hard!