Category: Funny

Posted on

Nice Tweets About Best Friends Being Besties

When Harry Nilsson wanted to tell us about his best friend, he did so through song, and he expressed his feelings thusly:

People, let me tell you ’bout my best friend
He’s a warm-hearted person who’ll love me to the end
People let me tell you ’bout my best friend
He’s a one-boy, cuddly toy
My up, my down, my pride and joy

I think we should probably bring back the use of “one-boy cuddle toy” as a general signal of affection, but I don’t know if we’ve all got time to write entire bouncy songs about our friends these days, so instead, we use stuff like these tweets.

Let’s take a look!

10. Coming through

Come on, ya still gotta let them eat cake.

9. Brain meld

We don’t even have to speak, but when we do, it’s magic.

8. Words of encouragement

You are the alpha. You are the omega. The one that is and is to come.

7. I dare you

Oh, things are about to get spicy in here.

6. Petty much right

Oh yeah, it’s all coming together.

5. Take a break

This is a totally healthy and normal approach to relationships, right guys?

4. Hour by hour

Wait, do you mean to tell me that people still have, like, phone calls?

3. Ex-cellent

No, sir. I am here to protect you from yourself. You’re coming with me.

2. We’re on the case

This mystery will be wrapped up quick.

1. Sole mates

We are together in victory and da feet.

 

A good friend tweet is worth a thousand songs.

How would you describe your best friend?

Give it a whirl in the comments.

The post Nice Tweets About Best Friends Being Besties appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

These Movies Were Explained So Badly, We Couldn’t Help But Laugh

It’s kind of wild how much movie trailers have changed. Back in the 1980s, the details a movie trailer would give you about a plot were so immense that you basically got the entire story told to you before you’d even seen the thing. Better hope there was a lot of spectacle, because otherwise the whole thing is pretty much spoiled, right?

Compare that to the blockbuster trailers of today, which are often little more than brief, out of context snippets, a little stirring music, and are a bunch of blackouts. They really hype up the mystery of the experience now.

I suppose either one is better than the approach taken by this subreddit, which intentionally explains the plot to you, but really badly.

Here are 11 movie plots hilariously misexplained (original taglines included for contrast.)

11. Titanic (1997)

“Nothing On Earth Could Come Between Them.”

10. The Lord of the Rings (2001)

“One Ring To Rule Them All”

9. Deadpool (2016)

“Sit on this”

8. Speed (1994)

“Get ready for rush hour.”

7. The Martian (2015)

“Help is only 140 million miles away”

6. Finding Nemo (2003)

“71% of the Earth’s surface is covered by water. That’s a lot of space to find one fish.”

5. The Shining (1980)

“He came as the caretaker, but this hotel had its own guardians – who’d been there a long time”

4. Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)

“There’s No Room for Mistakes”

3. Harry Potter (2001)

“Journey beyond your imagination”

2. WALL·E (2008)

“After 700 years of doing what he was built for – he’ll discover what he’s meant for.”

1. Every Adam Sandler Movie

“HURRBIDY DOOOO!”

Man. Can’t wait to get back in those theaters.

What movie would you like to explain badly?

Give it a shot in the comments.

The post These Movies Were Explained So Badly, We Couldn’t Help But Laugh appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Hilariously Dumb Movie Character Tropes That Will Look Familiar To You

Wanna know what drives me crazy with movie characters?

When there’s some kind of conflict arising from a misunderstanding, and Character A says to Character B “How could you!” B and A have known each other for a while, and B has given A no reason not to trust him before now, but A jumps right to assuming the worst. “I can explain!” shouts B, “Save it!” says A, and leaves in a huff.

B really could have explained. But he won’t get a chance to, because we need to save that resolution for the final act. In the meantime, try to somehow not think of A as an absolute sociopath.

Oh look, here’s Twitter to pick apart some more tropes!

10. Phony phone

I also leave gaps in my conversation that are way too short for me to be getting the information I’m getting.

9. Carry on

I get everything I need with just the look on my face.

8. Shoot up

Yeah that’s not how guns work.

7. Afraid of the dark

“Let me just unload these groceries I’m carrying for some reason in the darkness.”

6. Period piece

What a perfect world.

5. Good police work

We’re all better cops than movie cops.

4. Seek and ye shall find

“Good thing they have it filed under ‘I’ for ‘incriminating evidence.’”

3. Do the twist

The first day you become cool they teach you how to do that neck thing.

2. Fit me in

Lose the attitude.

1. Secret surprise

GOTTA SAVE IT FOR ACT III.

Hows come movies so dumb, yanno?

What other tropes should we dig into?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Hilariously Dumb Movie Character Tropes That Will Look Familiar To You appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

If You’re Super Weird, You Should Consider These Personal Warning Labels

There’s pretty much a warning label on anything you come across anymore – except for the one place where we probably need to see more warnings, and that’s on our fellow human people.

So it comes to no surprise that the fine folks over at reddit asked the following question…

If people came with a warning tag, what would yours be? from AskReddit

For the good of those around you, consider these warning labels (courtesy of the people of Reddit) to apply to yourself if you fit one of the following descriptions:

1. Annoying.

Tolerable only in small doses.

– nomopyt

2. Attached.

Warning: becomes attached to people very easily.

– WirelessTrees

3. Defective.

As is. All sales final.

– danthemandaran

4. Lazy.

Caution: Hard to motivate.

Interests may change randomly, mental stability not guaranteed.

– DrWillz

5. Drunk.

Do not mix with alcohol.

– goat_on_a_float

6. Narcoleptic.

Short Battery life but charges quickly (I’m narcoleptic lol)

– sl33p1ng-s3nt1nl

7. A bunch of people.

Identity disorder

It may say something like:

“Buy one, get one free”

– Burrito-8

8. Farty.

Warning. May contain gas.

– BeefGravy-on-Chicken

9. Fiery.

Caution: Explosive material. Authorised personnel only

– OverDepreciated

10. Retentive.

I’ll remember everything you’ve said and it’ll be awkward when i bring it up in a few years as if it’s nothing.

– DarthMurdok

11. Awkward.

Warning. Believes it is funny. Is not. May give off jokes at inappropriate times. Do not leave unattended at social gatherings.

– TannedCroissant

12. A lot.

Do not remove from container without good reason. Contents of this package are surprisingly enjoyable but wears out easily with overuse. Liable to expire at any time, no refund available.

Store with cats for best results.

– BlackoutXForever

13. Apologetic.

Warning: I’m sorry for apologizing so much.

– DylThaGamer_

14. Caring.

Caution: gives a sh*t.

– boyvsfood2

15. A niche expert.

Warning: may tell you disturbing facts about animal genitalia.

– Frantastic79

I could probably do with a few of those.

What would your warning label say?

Tell us in the comments.

The post If You’re Super Weird, You Should Consider These Personal Warning Labels appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Tweets For People Who Are Sick of Work

Let’s revisit the immortal words of Todd Rundgren:

“Take this, every day when I get home from work
I feel so frustrated the boss is a jerk,
And I get my sticks and go out to the shed,
And I pound on that drum like it was the boss’ head because
I don’t want to work
I want to bang on the drum all day.”

This lighthearted tune about an employer head trauma fantasy rings true with most of us, especially with the people who wrote these tweets.

Though I’d rather nobody bang on drums while I’m trying to relax. You can take that elsewhere, please.

10. Dead serious

Cool, cool cool cool, our society is broken.

9. Me time

How about mind your own business, Carol?

8. Tears in rain

Now THAT’S what I call freedom.

7. Code of conduct

Now I shall go to heaven.

6. Tow the line

It’s the delicate balance that binds us all together.

5. Growing accustomed

I don’t even need to see the rest of ya’ll.

4. See no evil

We’ve been speaking with our voices for millenia, we can just keep doing that.

3. The dream

Let me know if you figure it out.

2. Enthusiasm

I too have an inescapable guilt complex.

1. Many worries

Watch your language.

Nobody wants to work. But we gotta. At least we can all tweet about it!

What’s the best job you’ve ever had? What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? What made them unique?

Tell us all about it in the comments.

The post Tweets For People Who Are Sick of Work appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Memes For People Who Don’t Really Like People

Do you ever feel like you just don’t like people very much?

Do you ever have like, a few thousand of those days in a row?

Do you ever think that maybe it’s not the day’s fault, and that maybe it’s more a matter of you just genuinely not liking people because people suck a whole bunch?

Well, you’re not alone. Unfortunately. Let’s look at some memes about it.

15. Take a break

This is my home. I live here now.

Via: Someecards

14. True colors

Once you hit a certain age, why hide it?

Via: Someecards

13. Priorities

So say we all.

Via: Someecards

12. The corner

This is what we came here for, right? To anti-socialize?

Via: Someecards

11. Surrounded!

It’s like every place I look, there’s another.

Via: Someecards

10. Checking in

Yup, still pretty bogus out here.

Via: Someecards

9. Pick-me-up

Are you sure you’re not all just doing drugs?

Via: Someecards

8. Sorry not sorry

There have been some major overhauls recently.

Via: Someecards

7. Fitting in

Erm…careful what you wish for?

Via: Someecards

6. Nope

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Via: Someecards

5. Unwelcome mat

We really don’t need to go through this again.

Via: Someecards

4. Clarifications

See how that works?

Via: Someecards

3. Totally rad

Now stop asking.

Via: Someecards

2. The black book

A literary classic, but hard to get through.

Via: Someecards

1. Don’t worry

Well, that’s quite a relief.

Via: Someecards

I don’t know what all these people are here for, but I’m here for some good alone time away from them.

How much of an introvert do you consider yourself?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Memes For People Who Don’t Really Like People appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

These Tweets Are the Best of the Best

Twitter, what would I do without you? Be productive? Do my work? Clean my apartment? Get back in contact with loved ones?

That all sounds lame. I’d much rather scroll endlessly through the strangeness scape that is Twitter. Especially now that they’ve sort of done some housecleaning of their own. Without the absolute worst bottom 5% of users or so, it’s all in all a much more pleasant place to be. It’s easier to find cool and funny tweets, like these ones here.

12. 101 demands

Also you might wanna just go ahead and organize some protests against the fur industry.

11. Dang libs

The bald hypocrisy and apathy is just absolutely stunning.

10. Among gus

It’s darker than you could possibly imagine.

9. How the cookie crumbles

You monster – that’s the most evil thing I can imagine.

8. What gives?

“I am so firing our travel agent.” – birds who still have travel agents, I guess.

7. Mind the gap

You know that’s how we do.

6. Incorporeal hotness

It’s a beauty that surpasses even my understanding.

5. Valentimes

Time to get involved in everybody’s business!

4. Level up!

Wake me when it’s time for the twos.

3. Babe?

This is it, this wins, the meme is over now.

2. Stay with me

You’ll never leave…not while I have anything to say about it.

1. In theory

You laugh but I’ve heard people really say crap like this.

I can’t imagine what I would do without Twitter, and I don’t have to, because it’s here.

Who are your favorite people to follow?

Tell us in the comments.

The post These Tweets Are the Best of the Best appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

13 People Trying to Make the Best of Being at Work

Nobody really likes to be at work. Well, ok, not NOBODY, there are those weirdos out there who show up to an office every day and legitimately say “I love my job,” but these people are sociopathic and deranged. There is nothing behind their eyes, they may not be human, and they should under no circumstances be trusted.

However, for the rest of us, it’s not so much a matter of loving our jobs as just kinda making the best of the fact that you have to be there. And the internet is absolutely full of examples of great ways to do that, which you can look at instead of doing your job at work.

Here are a few ways to spice up work:

13. Be a hero

They said I had to wear a mask, they didn’t specify what it had to look like.

Via: The Chive

12. Drink up

The heck kind of job site is this?

Via: The Chive

11. Set up a feast for one

Oh cool, the nastiest thing I’ve ever seen.

Via: The Chive

10. Treat it like a gift

Oooo, I wonder what’s inside?

Via: The Chive

9. Take a break

Look at me, I’m the king of New York!

Via: The Chive

8. Achieve some work-life balance

You gotta keep yourself entertained one way or another.

Via: The Chive

7. Get creative with your desk

If you’re already made of money, that is.

Via: The Chive

6. Get REALLY creative with your desk

This is just the budget version of it.

Via: The Chive

5. Add turtle power

He’s really helping out.

Via: The Chive

4. Get someone to sub in

Good ol’ reliable Mike.

Via: The Chive

3. Keep an eye on your coworkers

Thanks, I hate it.

Via: The Chive

2. Behold the power of Christmas

I find your lack of wreaths disturbing.

Via: The Chive

1. Slow down

And hang with a very chill dude.

Via: The Chive

Now get out here and make work fun again!

What’s the best thing about your job?

Tell us in the comments.

The post 13 People Trying to Make the Best of Being at Work appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Memes That Are Pretty Much High Art

It’s been quite some time since I’ve been to a modern art museum, and sometimes I wonder just how modern the art has gotten.

I mean, they keep that stuff updated right? Is there a meme wing in any of those things yet? Are rich philanthropists throwing parties to have a hall of Spongebob reactions names after them?

If not, they should be. Because memes are the greatest art of a generation.

Here are twelve random pieces to prove it.

12. Too toasty

I’m going to go cry about something unrelated now, if you don’t mind.

11. Don’t call it a comeback

Gotta stay busy somehow.

10. Mano-a-mano

That’s video game logic for ya.

9. Security measures

I guess I appreciate it?

8. The battle within

I, too, melt when I get anxious.

7. The natural order

Ding dong, your ecology is gone.

6. Love stranding

Maybe this will finally make the game fun.

5. The Dr. Seuss will see you now

Stay away from the box, stay away from the fox, go to your house and lock up all the locks!

4. Home movies

This is the episode we desperately need.

3. Strength in numbers

I can hear it in my head now.

2. Well that sucks

But why? But why? But why? But why? But why? But-

1. Hi, welcome to chilies

Never underestimate our stupidity and pain tolerance.

Absolutely inspired. A true testament not just to the internet, but to art itself.

What kind of memes do you consider to be the highest art?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Memes That Are Pretty Much High Art appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Memes For People Who Are Over Working

Work. We all gotta do it.

Unless you were like, born rich and have just spent your life skiing around or whatever. Must be nice. Can I have some money, please? Cause see I have to keep going to jobs, and it’s like, can I not?

But then I see funny work memes and I’m grateful for employment. For without my employment, I would no the base of knowledge necessary to comprehend, and subsequently enjoy, these delicious and hilarious memes. And that’s not a world I want to live in at all.

10. Spur of the moment

“This will help me do my job better.”
“How?”
“…yes.”

Via: The Chive

9. A long time ago…

During a commute far, far away…

Via: The Chive

8. True intentions

Both are useful, both are sacred. They might as well just start labeling them this way.

Via: The Chive

7. Give me a break

Bless me father, for I have sinned.

Via: The Chive

6. Beddy-bye

Wait for me, my love. I shall return. I’ll come back for you, I swear it.

Via: The Chive

5. It’s a sign

What did you get caught doing, Dan?

Via: The Chive

4. Identity crisis

Don’t worry about it, I’m just gonna forget again in five minutes.

Via: The Chive

3. True colors

They mustn’t know the real me.

Via: The Chive

2. Boxed in

“Um…the apocalypse?”

Via: The Chive

1. You big dummy

Talk about padding out your timesheet.

Via: The Chive

Work might suck, but work memes will reign supreme forever.

What’s the best/worst part of your job?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Memes For People Who Are Over Working appeared first on UberFacts.