Medical Pros Reveal the Most NSFW Situations They Encountered at Work

A lot of us like to stay away from NSFW content at work.

Hence the acronym…

But, what if the NSFW actually happens at work?

Well, I suppose you take to AskReddit, and you start sharing those stories.

At least that’s what these 18 doctors, nurses, and vets did:

#1. That should do it

“A person thought pouring Lysol on their diabetic foot-ulcer would keep it from getting infected.”

#2. Ugh!

“An obese women came back to the hospital after an abdominal operation, because her staples had ripped off, and she didn’t notice (!?!).

She now had a huge v-shape gash at least 2 inches deep from her pubis to the diaphragm. We had to clean that gash a couple of times a day.

The first student that went into the room fainted at the site of it, so our teacher asked me to do it (I had the reputation of being tough).

Imagine a small yellow and green river coming out of her each time she moved. The smell was so horrible that we had to opened the window and close the door.

Sadly, that poor woman died of the infection a couple of days later.”

#3. Good job parents!

“A patient’s extended family physically stopped us from resuscitating a completely limp and unresponsive newborn because helping it breathe, ‘isn’t natural. Labor is natural and requires no intervention.’

Baby eventually and slowly perked up about 15 minutes later.

Needless to say, I don’t expect this baby to go to Harvard.”

#4. Kind of like ‘The Walking Dead’

“I had a homeless patient come into the dermatology clinic. He had a filthy bed sheet wrapped around his head, with only part of the left side of his face and left eye exposed.

You could see the rancid stink coming off of his head.

We got him in the exam room and unwrapped his noggin. Turns out he had a basal cell carcinoma (skin cancer) for which he had refused treatment, for like 15 years.

The cancer had eaten away all of the skin on most of his head. There were very large areas of muscle and bone exposed.

The tumor had eaten into his skull and you could see into his skull as well as his sinuses. His right ear was long gone.

I could watch his muscles move and contract while he spoke. It was literally like watching something from The Walking Dead, except there was no sign of infection or maggots or anything else horrible.

It has literally a living, dissected skull talking to us like it was totally normal.

It was simultaneously horrifying and amazing to see.”

 

#5. Bath salts?

“Walked into back room with two patients with CP (cerebral palsy). Another client was in the back with FEMA and mentally disabled.

FEMA client was eating one of the CP clients’ face off.

Blood everywhere, and the screaming is enough to stick in my mind forever.

1/4 of her face was missing after that.”

#6. Fun with veggies

“Bok choi in an adult male’s ass.

Insisted it just, ‘slipped in.’

Removed it, and it had a condom on it.”

#7. Beware of washcloths

“A story about a quadriplegic guy who just had an operation. My teacher, another student, and I were taking care of it.

The teacher took a washcloth and decided to clean his face, and that’s when it happened.

The guy started to eat the washcloth. Yes, eat it.

The more he would eat it, the more he would start to choke on it.

The other student panicked. My teacher was pulling on the washcloth with her 2 hands and her knee on the bed to get some grip.

Nothing…

The guy was still eating it and choking. So I had, probably the best idea in my life, and I block his nostrils with my hand.

He couldn’t breathe, so he let go of the washcloth.

The 3 of us were shaking, sweating and swearing to never put a washcloth near the mouth of someone who just came back from surgery.

The funny thing is that I talked to the guy a couple of days later, and he didn’t remember a thing.”

#8. OBGYN

“Probably the most disgusting time of your medical school career will be your obstetrics and gynecology rotation.

You can expect on a daily basis to be splattered with blood/amniotic fluid mixtures, and on a slightly less frequent basis to be covered in vomit, urine, and poop.

For me the worst was assisting with C-sections. Mostly as the med student it would be your job to hold the retractor, which means standing there and pulling on a big metal thing and staying perfectly still.

Once they cut into the uterus, the amniotic fluid and blood all spills out all over your hands and arms and drips onto your gown and down to your feet.

It’s warm and there’s a lot of it and you can feel it through your gloves, but you can’t move.

That’s not really a special occurrence. It’s literally every day for the whole month (or more if you decide you like it of course).”

#9. Classy

“Walked in on a woman blowing her husband.

She had just delivered a baby 2 hours prior, who was in the NICU.
If my hubby had asked me to do that even a week after having our baby, I would have punched him in his dick-hole.”

#10. Depressing

“The worst day on the job was being the nurse for a pregnant woman who was due the same week as me…

I was in the room when the doctor told her that there wasn’t a heartbeat anymore. I sat with her while she cried.

Her boyfriend didn’t answer her calls.

She was hospitalized for an infection and I visited her after my shift. I felt so awful that she had to go through that alone.

I later found out that my baby had trisomy 13 and had an abortion.

I felt guilty for watching a woman cry over what she couldn’t control and then opting out of a wanted, albeit flawed, pregnancy.”

#11. A man and his dildo

“My dad is an ER doctor. Early in his career, he had a big, burly truck driver come into the emergency room and flat out say, ‘Doc I’ve got a dildo in my ass you’ve gotta get it out.’

So, my dad takes him into a room with a nurse accompanying him, has the guy bend over and grab the exam table, and my dad tells the nurse to duck when he says so.

He grabs hold of the end of the dildo with those gator clamp things, and straight yanks it out as hard as he can.

The nurse behind him never ducked, and a splurge of blood and shit hits her, full-frontal.

My dad said the nurse ran out screaming, leaving behind a perfect silhouette against the wall while the dildo flopped around the floor, still vibrating.”

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18 Crazy Tumblr Stories to Add a Little Excitement to Your Day

#1. The Hit Man

Photo Credit: drkparadse

#2. The Pocket Piggy

Photo Credit: letmeletmetrashyourlove

#3. Mickey and the Blackout (not a band name)

Photo Credit: missmella

#4. Death Was Right on Schedule. Siriously.

Photo Credit: capitalvice

#5. The Lifetime Supply of Snow Globes

Photo Credit: heart

#6. He Went to Jared

Photo Credit: TIFU

#7. When Twitter Starts to Bug You

Photo Credit: menderash

#8. The Dog Who Wouldn’t Die

Photo Credit: daftalchemist

#9. A Super-Shitty Prank

Photo Credit: thebatteur

#10. Right Foot: Gray

Photo Credit: iguanamouth

#11. Birds + Bees = WTAF

Photo Credit: waakeme-up

#12. PLOT TWIST

Photo Credit: ikimaru

#13. Note: This Story Is Only Funny If You Know Basic Math

Photo Credit: waakeme-up

#14. The Gorillaz Effect

Photo Credit: nanalew

#15. Life Is All Ketchup and Rainbows

Photo Credit: The Daily Laugh

#16. Awareness Is Key

Photo Credit: TIFU

#17. The Frog Whisperer

Photo Credit: allhailweegee

#18. The Best Story Ever 2

Photo Credit: ofgeography

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17 Totally Woke Tumblr Posts That Are Instant Classics

There are posts that are mildly amusing, some that make you laugh out loud, and then there are those that,  as soon as you read them, you know that they’re going to end up in the Tumblr Hall of Fame, atop of the Tumblr Medal Stand.

You get the idea.

These 17 definitely land at the top of the heap – meaning that you can’t miss their brilliance from the get-go.

#17. 5/5 would see again.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

#16. Honestly, he’s probably not your “potential future boss” anymore.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

#15. I mean, the first rule of improv is to always say yes, so…nailed it? (nyuk nyuk)

Photo Credit: Tumblr

#14. I feel like this might be a message from an alternate timeline.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

#13. The comments speak for themselves.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

 

#12. You know, we do have these things called words?

Photo Credit: Tumblr

#11. I have no idea what’s happening in this picture, only that it is important. It will be in all of the textbooks.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

#10. Yes, get ready to have your mind blown, son.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

#9. I’m guessing that we’re witnessing procrastination at its finest.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

#8. We all have to learn the hard way not to challenge the internet.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

#7. In the apocalypse, people with crayons will be one step ahead.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

#6. Because this is amazing.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

 

#5. Oh, those precious moments when you know you’re not alone.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

#4. This sentence is a rollercoaster.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

#3. Because some days even internet quizzes get you down.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

#2. When a joke may not be objectively funny but it’s still funny.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

#1. That one time Tumblr fixed the world.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

 

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Chrissy Teigen Kept It Real About Motherhood Even on Father’s Day

The majority of mothers (and humans in general) love the fact that Chrissy Teigen (and John Legend) keep it real online when it comes to the realities of relationships, parenting, and parenting while trying to maintain your relationship.

Example:

Photo Credit: Twitter

After the birth of their second child (a boy!) Chrissy and John were on their way to a Father’s Day dinner…but, as this image showed, not off duty.

Photo Credit: Instagram

And people love them for keeping it real about how mommies are never really off duty. Not for a few decades, at least!

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These Hilarious Comics Show That Dads Change After Kids, Too

Weng Chen, a mother and the illustrator behind The Messycow comics, decided it was high time people saw how parenthood changes men as well as women.

“I don’t have big chunks of time to work, it’s always a couple hours in between chores and taking care of the kids,” she told Bored Panda. “But it’s fun and meaningful to document my children’s growth, as well as mine.”

Mornings.

Photo Credit: The Messycow

Weekends!

Photo Credit: The Messycow

Privacy.

Photo Credit: The Messycow

Clothing.

Photo Credit: The Messycow

Poop Stuff.

Photo Credit: The Messycow

Presents!

Image Credit: The Messycow

Shopping trips.

Photo Credit: The Messycow

Motivators.

Photo Credit: The Messycow

Eating in the car.

Photo Credit: The Messycow

Memory…

Photo Credit: The Messycow

And there you have it!

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15 Hilarious Photos of Cats High on Catnip

These pictures, taken by photographer Andrew Martilla, are so much fun, and they’ll kind of sort of make you want to say “I’ll have what that kitty is having.”

Maybe that’s just me, but maybe not… Take a look!

#15.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#14.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#13.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#12.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#11.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#10.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#9.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#8.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#7.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#6.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#5.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#4.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#3.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#2.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#1.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

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15 Hilarious Photos of Cats High on Catnip

These pictures, taken by photographer Andrew Martilla, are so much fun, and they’ll kind of sort of make you want to say “I’ll have what that kitty is having.”

Maybe that’s just me, but maybe not… Take a look!

#15.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#14.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#13.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#12.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#11.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#10.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#9.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#8.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#7.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#6.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#5.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#4.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#3.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#2.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

#1.

Photo Credit: Andrew Marttila

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12 People Reveal Why They’re Still Single

It’s one thing to ask your friends or family why they think you’re still single, and quite another to self-assess. These 12 people took a frank look in the mirror and share with the world the truth (in their eyes) about why they haven’t found that special someone.

#12. Wine and takeaway pizza

“I really can’t be bothered to put myself out there. I’m a lazy fuck and I’d much rather laze around with friends than go out and meet people. I’m a hopeless romantic at heart, but I’m also a hedonist who likes lounging in pyjamas in my bed. Give me wine and takeaway pizza any day.”

#11. A hard truth

“Because even though one is the loneliest number, two can be bad as one.”

#10. It must be

“Probably I am just too handsome and nobody dare to approach, yes it must be.”

#9. But with a nice vocabulary

“I’m a boring & misanthropic hermit with a lot of trust issues and self loathing.”

#8. Because, people

“Because I hate people and finding someone to date is a pain in the ass.”

#7. The grind

“When you work 60 to 70 hours a week you don’t have time to talk to anyone.”

#6. Peace and quiet

“I’m introverted, self conscious, and I love peace and quiet, so I just don’t seek relationships. Also, the world is populated enough already.”

#5. Everyone has their thing

“My personality is as attractive as a turd.”

#4. Because of the kids

“I was widowed when my kids were 5, 9, 11 and 13. They came first in my life. Now that they’re grown and successful, I’m too set in my ways and comfortable on my own.”

#3. One is the happiest number

“Honestly, I don’t want a partner. People never believe me when I say it, but it really is true.

I was in a relationship for years, and I was depressed. At the time I didn’t realise what the problem was, but then when it ended (and after a period of not knowing what to do with myself) I became happier than I’d ever been.

I’ve been in a couple of short-lived relationships since, and they were fine, but I still wasn’t as happy as when I was single, so I had to end them.

I think the whole “You MUST find the person of your dreams otherwise you will be SAD and LONELY” is complete bullshit.

There are other things in life. Hobbies. Friendship. Family.

I do want children at some point though, so I may run into trouble there…”

#2. A sausage fest

“I’m a guy in an industry that is all guys. All my friends and friends of friends are married. It’s a real challenge to meet any women when your life is an endless sausage fest and no one you know is single.”

#1. Never settle

“I decided I’d rather have no relationship at all than one that doesn’t fit quite right.”

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Restaurants Have Hilariously Savage Reactions to IHOP Becoming IHOb

I mean, I don’t know how you could have missed the hilariously stupid announcement that the International House of Pancakes (IHOP) is about to become the International House of Burgers (IHOB). And it turns out that the general public aren’t the only ones keen to ridicule the former pancake chain on the change of fare…the people who run the Twitter accounts of several other restaurant chains also had thoughts.

Hilarious thoughts.

Burger King

Photo Credit: Facebook

Whataburger

Photo Credit: Facebook

Waffle House

Photo Credit: Facebook

Red Robin

Photo Credit: Facebook

White Castle

Photo Credit: Facebook

Wendy’s

Photo Credit: Facebook

Chili’s

Photo Credit: Facebook

And even Netflix got in on the action…

Netflix

Photo Credit: Facebook

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15 People Reveal the Crazy Ways They Almost Died

Have you ever almost died? I’m not sure I have, unless you count the many times someone almost kills you (or the other way around) while you’re both behind the wheel of a car. But these 15 people have some pretty crazy stories…or maybe cautionary tales, depending on your point of view.

#15. The kindness of strangers

“Was walking along not paying attention like an idiot, and stepped out in front of a double-decker bus. The guy behind me grabbed the hood of my sweater and yanked me back, but I was close enough that the bus still smacked into and broke my ‘leading’ foot. If he hadn’t been there, or I wasn’t wearing a hoodie, or I was a bit heavier, that would have been my head.”

#14. Bad luck

“Was in a bad wreck with an 18 wheeler when I was 16. I was on the passenger side in the back seat and the car we were in got crushed when the trailor jack knifed and squished us between the truck and trailer. None of the first responders could believe nobody in our car was killed or even really hurt.

Then in 2015 I was pistol whipped in an armed robbery. It felt like the whole side of my head caved in when he hit me. I actually do have a dent in my skull from it

Edit: Holy wow at the upvotes. Also my phone shit the bed while replying to comments and posted several times but I’m enjoying seeing y’all repeat it so much not even gonna fix it lol.”

#13. Hard to believe

“Got my head stuck in a library book return slot.”

#12. Yay for vaccines

“When I was 5 or 6 I had chickenpox and meningitis which apparently could have gone either way.

Fast forward 10 years and I nearly feel a few hundred feet into a quarry. Because I was a stupid kid, I was sat on the edge when it gave way. I was just lucky that my friend reacted as quick as he did and grabbed me. Needless to say I didn’t get too close to the edge after that.”

#11. Not just a rash

“When I was about 12 years old, I was all ready to go to my Karate lessons with my brother. We were high belt grades so really into the contact side of it. I’d mentioned a rash to my dad, that he dismissed as heat rash. Before leaving I showed it to my mum who had just come in from work.

She thought it was meningitis and rushed me to the hospital after dropping my brother off for his lessons. Turns out it was a super rare blood disorder causing my body to attack the platelets, which are the clotting mechanism in the blood. Essentially, if I’d gone to the Karate lesson instead of talking to my mum, I could have caused some internal bleeding and died.”

#10. Teacher fail

“My maths teacher wouldnt open the window in our very stuffy classroom. This induced a asthma attack and she denied me going to the bathroom because she thought I was faking. 3 hours later I came round from an asthma attack, being told I was hanging by a thread.”

#9. In France

“When I was 8, I very nearly drowned in a swimming pool in France. I was playing on the divider between the deep and shallow areas – which was effectively a row of large boulders – and slipped between two of them, getting my leg firmly stuck (and badly cut up in the process). I was trapped, hanging upside down in the water, and unable to twist my leg at all.

The only sign that anything was happening on the surface was the very tip of my foot sticking out, mostly obscured by the boulders, so there wasn’t a good chance that anyone would spot anything unusual. I remember looking at all these upsidedown legs moving in the water and thinking “This is how I’m going to die. In France.” After what felt like an age, I vaguely remember seeing two big hairy legs move towards me, and next thing I knew I was forcefully yanked out of the water, with blood dripping into my eyes. The guy carried me to the side and made sure I was alright. No idea what would have happened if he hadn’t noticed.”

#8. Cause for concern

“Had a bad cough so I went to the doctor. He gave me a puffer (can’t remember what it was called) and when I went home I fell asleep.

Something woke me up from a dead sleep and when I sat up I started having a hard time breathing. I couldn’t talk at all so I had to write on a pad of paper to tell my boyfriend, now husband, to take me to the hospital.

I wrote down my symptoms for the triage nurse and she asked me if I could l talk I shook my head no but she made me try. I choked out an “ok” and she said I could talk and said I could go home since I’m just sick or I could wait.

I waited 4 hours in the waiting room and couldn’t get a great breath unless I was sipping water. It was getting frustrating watching people go in before me. I know a lot of them had good reason to be there but with how few people were actually there is was evident she kept me as the lowest priority.

When I finally went in I was feeling like death and even the few tests they did were like torture. The nurses and doctors in the actual ER were very nice and gentle but it still was awful at that point.

A short time after they were done the tests the doctor came in and said I was septic and I should have come in earlier. Any longer and my organs would have shut down and I would have died.

My boyfriend told him I had been in the waiting room for 4 hours and the doctor was pissed. I don’t know what happened to the triage lady but I hope she got in some kind of trouble. I know they have to deal with a lot but her bad day could have been a worse day for me and my family.

I was put on an antibiotic pump for a week but it took a couple weeks to feel like myself. The doctor said I could have easily stayed asleep and died at home so it was good I woke up.”

#7. All things considered

“I’m a paratrooper in the 82nd airborne division and had the (now rare) misfortune of suffering a static line injury. Essentially the cable that opens my chute is attached the top of my chute and the inside of the plane. Through bad luck i ended up with too much slack and it wrapped my arm. I bounced off of the outside of the plane and my parachute was too twisted to open properly. I ended up with a torn bicep and shattered shoulder blade. All things considered my injuries should’ve been way worse and i’m lucky to be alive.”

#6. A friend, indeed

“I was crossing the street once and there were large bushes at the corner of the sidewalk. A car took the turn incredibly fast, but my tall friend saw it a bit early and pulled me back. The car was an inch or two away from me.”

#5. Wear your helmet

“I was on my motorcycle as a six-car accident happened AROUND ME. I came around a curve on the interstate as one car hit the concert barrier and spun out into four lanes of traffic. Cars were spinning and rolling around me, and I was barely even dodging, it was like they were dodging me. I pulled off and as I was coming to a stop a semi came sliding sideways through the whole mess. I hit the throttle again and it smashed into the guardrail a meter or two behind me. It was like seriously like a car chase action movie, except it was all luck and not skill. The throttle punch at the end was the only thing that was on purpose.

Edit: just feel compelled to say wear your helmet and gear! Don’t be like this girl and wait for something like this to happen before you get religious about it.”

#4. A lucky break

“I had an accident while moving a big antique mirror by myself at home. It broke and half of it fell onto my neck. It severed my jugular vein and I came within a few minutes of bleeding to death. The paramedic who saved me said I lost about 2 litres of blood (a little over 4 pints) and I was extremely lucky to survive. Here is a picture of my stitches.”

#3. Childhood trauma

“I as born somewhat premature and my small intestine hadn’t fully hollowed out so I had to be airlifted to another hospital and have that section cut out. Still have a huge scar on my stomach from that.

Then in second grade I got chicken pox and ended up having viral encephalitis as a complication. One thing I remember was a woman visiting me in the hospital and I asked her name, and it was the same as my mom’s name so I told her that. Turns out it was my mom and I just didn’t recognize her at the time. I spent two weeks in the hospital with that.”

#2. Never fight the ocean

“The ocean vs me at 12.

Me and my sister loved doing this thing, were we would let ourselves get hit by large waves. The feeling of getting pulled in and slammed down as a kid was exhilarating. Well, one day, the ocean was unusually rough. The waves were gigantic and there were rip tides. My dad told us we can’t go in the ocean. But the waves were so huge, we had to give hit a try.

We snuck off. Sat in front of our impending doom. This 8-10 foot wave starts coming in. Takes all the water with it. When it began to crest, I got the “oh shit this is going to hurt” feeling but at this point it was too far to go back. It comes in picks me and my sister, slams me face first on the beach. Scratches the fuck out of my face and arms on the beach shells.

Most waves when they crash, there is very little water left on the beach. Yet, this one was so huge, it left a ton. enough that we were both strong swimmers, but the current still could pull us back into the next one. It did this 2-3 times. Until we were both either concussed or tired enough that we couldn’t fight back. The last one pulled us deep in the ocean.

We tried to swim toward the beach, but to no avail, we kept going further and further. But an old man, probably in his 60s spotted us. He swam up to us. But he only grabbed my sister. Begun to trek back to the beach.

So, I’m there. 12. Probably concussed, bleeding, very tried, just looking at the shore line, it gets so far, I can barely see the shoreline. Alone, am like okay, lol, fuck this is how I die.

Remember pondering my death, but I was too tired to do anything but just stay afloat.

After what seemed like an eternity, the old man swims back and finds me. Takes me to shore. Besides the ass beating, I got from my dad. I also was traumatized by the ocean. I probably didn’t go back in it for like 4 years. Even today, I’ll go. But its just uneasy feelings and definitely not going deeper than I can stand.”

#1. Thank goodness for modern medicine

“First two times I was rushed to the ER anaphylactic shock. I swear if my mom wasn’t beside the hospital bed crying the 1st time I would have let go.

Third time I was on a plane landing at the airport, but clearly flies around it a couple times. The captain comes on the speakers and informed us the wheels may not be locked/deployed. The landing way was lined all sorts of fire/EMS trucks. No problem with the landing, everyone cheered when we touched down. The captain said it was probably just a burnt out light.

I started having seizures in my late 20s, resulting in permanent partial blindness. I kind of brushed off the danger of seizures until I had one for more than a half hour. The neurologist explained that it’s really bad for your brain and I was lucky to still not be a brain dead vegetable, let alone alive.”

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