This Autism Service Dog’s Mischievous Antics Have the Internet in Stitches

Dogs are man’s best friend, but that doesn’t mean they don’t stress us out now and then. Take Arwen, a Husky/Kelpie mix, for instance. According to one of her adoptive family members, she is “a little asshole.”

Photo Credit: Tumblr

In reality, Arwen is a trained autism service dog and highly intelligent. Where was she trained, you ask? Why, in prison, of course, as part of an inmate rehab/service dog program. Certainly, time in the cooler can teach a dog a lot about life.

So, now that she’s adopted, Arwen seems to get herself into all sorts of shenanigans. In fact, Tumblr user gallusrostromegalus decided to share with the world all the trouble Arwen causes.

Which is a lot.

At first, Arwen’s new family calls her shenanigans a “learning curve.”

Photo Credit: Tumblr

Prison AC?

Photo Credit: Tumblr

Why did it have to be snakes?

Photo Credit: Tumblr

Another prickly situation.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

Arwen sometime starts fights with her cousin over who gets the recliner.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

Shenanigan bonus time!

Photo Credit: Tumblr

Arwen could be part monkey.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

Arwen can’t help herself. She’s got a mind for shenanigans.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

Whatever the background to her mischief making, Arwen’s tails – make that tales – has got the internet crazy for this funny dog and her adventures. She may not always be a good dog, but she’s certainly an entertaining one.

The post This Autism Service Dog’s Mischievous Antics Have the Internet in Stitches appeared first on UberFacts.

Tumblr Provides Definitive Proof That Humans Are Adorable

In this world of crazy, bad news all the time, it’s nice to have the occasional reminder that most people are good and decent. Thankully, this Tumblr thread is here to remind us of the adorable things that humans do. For example:

Photo Credit: Imgur

Ow? Ow!

Also:

Photo Credit: Imgur

Well, yeah. Shiny things are great! And who doesn’t love the beach?

Photo Credit: Imgur

Soft, fluffy bedding sounds amazing.

Photo Credit: Imgur

Sneezes are kind of amazing. And frustrating.

Photo Credit: Imgur

I do love my reassurance treats. This note sums things up nicely.

Photo Credit: Imgur

Humans – we’re delightful (sometimes)!

The post Tumblr Provides Definitive Proof That Humans Are Adorable appeared first on UberFacts.

13 People Who Really Don’t Have Luck on Their Side

There are some folks who are born with a horseshoe up their butts. It’s like literally nothing bad can ever happen to them.

These people, however? They do not fall into that category.

1. Epic fail

Photo Credit: Reddit

2. Thanks for the extra headache, parking officer

Photo Credit: Reddit

3. Good job, Father

Photo Credit: Reddit

4. Now you’re down $20

Photo Credit: Reddit

5. That’s not good

Photo Credit: Reddit

6. Oops

Photo Credit: Reddit

7. The sh*t on the floor goes round and round

Photo Credit: Reddit

8. Gotta lock that price in

Photo Credit: Reddit

9. Doh!

Photo Credit: Reddit

10. Best seat in the house

Photo Credit: Reddit

11. Damn!

Photo Credit: Reddit

12. In the shower for fire drill

Photo Credit: Reddit

13. Disaster

Photo Credit: Reddit

Good luck to all of you!

The post 13 People Who Really Don’t Have Luck on Their Side appeared first on UberFacts.

The “Today Years Old” Meme Will Definitely Teach You a Thing or Two

“Today years old” is the latest meme to take the internet by storm. It’s where people post things they only just learned recently that has completely changed the way they look at something. Basically, tidbits of knowledge that should be common but are somehow…not.

Read through this list of 15 good ones, and I bet you’ll have your mind blown at least once!

#1. I guess it had to stand for something?

Image Credit: Twitter

#2. Trying this ASAP.

Image Credit: Twitter

#3. Am I wrong, or is this adorable?

Image Credit: Twitter

#4. I don’t want to know if this is true or not.

Image Credit: Twitter

#5. Stealing this rtfn.

Image Credit: Twitter

#6. Wait, seriously?

Image Credit: Twitter

#7. A modern revelation for you.

Image Credit: Twitter

#8. It’s kind of abstract, to be fair.

Image Credit: Twitter

#9. Imma use it even more now.

Image Credit: Twitter

#10. I guess he was okay with it?

Image Credit: Twitter

#11. Shatner either loves or hates this.

Image Credit: Twitter

#12. It’s like he’s a real person now.

Image Credit: Twitter

#13. Love.

Image Credit: Twitter

#14. If you could see my face right now…

Image Credit: Twitter

#15. Interesting.

Image Credit: Twitter

Ok, I learned a lot just now…

The post The “Today Years Old” Meme Will Definitely Teach You a Thing or Two appeared first on UberFacts.

10+ People Who are Clueless About How the Female Body Works

If you’ve been on the internet at all, you know that misinformation is an epidemic. Particularly when it comes to sexuality and health, it seems like thousands of people out there skipped their high school health classes altogether.

Oh, sure, everyone thinks they’re an expert. But what they really “know” about female anatomy is horrifyingly, hilariously incorrect. Some think girls pee out of their vaginas. Others think periods are made out of the blood of dead babies. You know, fun stuff like that.

So sit back, relax and laugh.

1. This dude tried to write something snarky on the comment section of an Onion article titled, “Frustrated Gunman Can’t Believe How Far He Has to Drive to Find Nearest Planned Parenthood Clinic.” He became a bigger joke than the article. (via MsManifesto)

Photo Credit: Reddit

2. Redditor _ahsatan started a conversation about female anatomy when they had to explain that you don’t pee out of your clitoris.

I just taught my sister-in-law (26) and my husband (31) that women do not, in fact, pee from the clit. What are the most ridiculous ideas you’ve heard about the female body?

3. thumper5 responded to _ahsatan with a period myth women wish were true.

That you can “hold” your period blood the same way you can hold your pee. I had an incredibly stupid boyfriend once that wouldn’t stop at a gas station on our way someplace because he thought I could just hold it til we got there.

ETA: that women only use one pad/tampon per period. That pads/tampons/etc aren’t necessary hygiene items.

4. Through all the spelling errors and profanity, it seems this woman thinks that vaginas smell because of years of semen building up inside? (via Reddit user lady-linux)

Photo Credit: Imgur

5. wicksa, a labor and delivery nurse, had many stories to share about female anatomy myths that will make you want to campaign for sex-ed in all schools immediately.

Oh, my time to shine! I am an L&D nurse and I hear some weird shit, especially from teen moms.

“My friend told me that if I douched with sprite after having sex, I couldn’t get pregnant.” – 16 year old in labor

“I tried to schedule a c section because my pussy is really tight and I know a baby ain’t gonna fit through there. The doctor wouldn’t let me.” The baby did indeed fit with no assistance (meaning no vaccuum or forceps, a doctor was totally there haha).

5 foot tall 120 lb girl who looks so pregnant it’s like she swallowed a beach ball, hasn’t had her period in 9+ months, is sexually active, shows up to ER with abdominal pains (contractions!): “I didn’t know I was pregnant.”

“I’m not going to breastfeed because I am afraid it will turn me on too much. I like nipple play during sex.”

6. This man tries to correlate the thigh gap to the size of one’s vagina, even though it seems pretty obvious that no one would ever let him near their vag. (via Redditor dustinyo_)

Photo Credit: Reddit

Photo Credit: Reddit

Photo Credit: Reddit

Photo Credit: Reddit

7. Even though this commenter has had given birth to two children of her own, she still does not understand how pregnancy works. (via Gingevere)

Photo Credit: Imgur

I dont think that there is enough space for a baby in there. I’ve had 2 kids and they both liked 2 move around and that wouldn’t have been possible in such a Tiny bell. Everyone carries different but working out like that and leaving your baby with little space is not okay. A baby needs 2 tumble en move around. Dont be selfish and workout hardcore 2 keep super thin.

8. Redditor katiedid05 posted this unsettling screenshot of a teenager condescendingly explaining how the clitoris has to grow ten centimeters before giving birth.

Photo Credit: Someecards

sorry but in childbirth you clitoris will need to grow up to 10cm to actually give birth…thats why they say you need to be 10cm dialated to start pushing…im not even 18 yet and i got that one right :/

9. midnasays found this perplexing meme that tries to slut shame women who prefer to use pads?

Photo Credit: Reddit

10. This poor woman thinks she needs a placenta transplant. (via pleasuretohaveinclas)

Photo Credit: Reddit

11. One time an anti-abortion lawmaker asked why women couldn’t just swallow a camera to expedite the process of getting a gynecological exams. Yes, a man who makes laws said this. (via Huffington Post)

During a debate over an anti-abortion bill, a Republican lawmaker in Idaho asked Monday whether women can just swallow a tiny camera in order to conduct a gynecological exam remotely with a doctor.

According to the Associated Press, Idaho Rep. Vito Barbieri (R) posed the bizarre question to Dr. Julie Madsen, who was testifying against a bill that would ban doctors from prescribing medication abortion via webcam unless they have examined the woman in person. Madsen had to explain to Barbieri that swallowed items, like pills, do not land in the vagina.

12. pizzaoverload shared this comment that they found on a YouTube video where a woman (Chris) announced that she got her period back after years of over-training and dieting.

Chris, I know I am male but I have always had somehow an internal sensing that women’s period is blood that is not up to standard and the body must get rid of it. As well as many females think something is wrong with them when they don’t have a period something tells me if your detoxing well through exercise and clean diet that if the body has clean blood and there is nothing to recycle out you just won’t have a period. Just like a lot of women of little bodyfat. I think a female loses their period because the body is that clean and detoxed. I see it as a good thing if this is the case. If this is the case then most females just are not optimal detoxed and the body has to force it through a period to keep the system clean. What are your thoughts is this possible? With Love JC.

13. In a horrifying true story, a so-called “sexual assault expert investigator” had to be told what a cervix was in court.

In the reinvestigation of the case of Kelli Smith, a young driver who killed a father of two while driving the wrong way down a one way street, it was discovered that the woman may have been slipped a date rape drug which caused the accident. Although initially there was no investigation into a possible rape, it was discovered that the woman sustained injuries to her cervix and was found at the scene of the crime without pants or underwear on. Sexual assault expert investigator Eric Stacks was called in to look into whether or not Smith was raped, which prompted defense attorney Jennifer Bukowsky to ask Stacks about the injury.

Bukowsky: In your experience with car crashes how many times do you see injuries to a cervix?

Stacks: I don’t know what you’re asking me, to a cervix?

Bukowsky: You don’t know what a cervix is?

Stacks: No. explain that to me, please.

14. This person thinks that the menstrual cycle is unnatural, and suggests basically starving yourself to stop it. (via PM_me_a_scary_thing from Reddit)

Photo Credit: Imgur

I mean, what the actual f*** people?

The post 10+ People Who are Clueless About How the Female Body Works appeared first on UberFacts.

20 Comics That Perfectly Sum Up Sharing a Bed with Your Partner

A major part of learning to be in a long-term relationship is learning how to share a bed with your partner. It’s one of those things that you can simultaneously love and also be driven insane by.

Maybe you go back and forth a little bit, alternating between being really annoyed and extremely content and comfortable.

Whatever your feelings are on the subject, these comics will look very familiar to you…

1. No escape

2. World’s tiniest bladder

3. So HOT in here

4. Blinded by the light

Photo Credit: Facebook,Hedger Humor

5. You’re on my side

Photo Credit: Dina Odess

6. Keeping the other person up

Photo Credit: Yehuda and Maya Devir

7. Split personality

Photo Credit: Facebook,Six Pack Mom

8. Ahhhhhhh

Photo Credit: Our Super Adventure

9. That awful morning breath

10. You’re on my hair!

Photo Credit: Yehuda and Maya Devir

11. Claws

12. Uh oh

Photo Credit: Our Super Adventure

13. Still need a little touch

Photo Credit: Yehuda and Maya Devir

14. Different methods

Photo Credit: Facebook,Hedger Humor

15. Too much sun…don’t touch me

16. No eating in bed!

Photo Credit: Our Super Adventure

17. Isn’t it always this way?

Photo Credit: Facebook,Hedger Humor

18. Too tired to shower

Photo Credit: Yehuda and Maya Devir

19. Stare into my eyes

20. No sex, sorry

I bet a lot of these hit close to home, didn’t they?

The post 20 Comics That Perfectly Sum Up Sharing a Bed with Your Partner appeared first on UberFacts.

Waiters Dish Out the Most Ridiculous Customer Requests They’ve Ever Received

Being a server in a restaurant is pretty much the worst job ever, mostly because of the customers. Sure, most of them are fine, but inevitably there are always some that try to make all these extra demands and get really rude about it.

In this AskReddit article, servers revealed the most ridiculous requests they’ve ever received from customers. Maybe they’ll be like cautionary tales to help keep you on your best behavior at restaurants?

1. At least you made some money

“Working as a server (17ish) had a drunk lady ask to give her a ride home. I finished up closing out my section and gave her a ride because I knew the area pretty well. She was really nice and everything, but had a couple drinks too many and her friends had already left a little earlier and she was too embarrassed to make a scene or call someone. She gave me $50 and I was stoked.”

2. Dry steak, please

“I haven’t waited tables in about 10 years now but I’ll never forget the guy who asked for his steak “dry.” When I pressed him for what he wanted explicitly he explained that he wanted “no juice” to come out when he was eating it. I told him it would take about 30 minutes to cook his steak that done, he said that was fine and off I went.

Our steaks were pretty miserable portions in the first place, and the cut he ordered was the smallest one on the menu, so when I returned with his tiny little 6 oz flat iron that had been absolutely desiccated on the grill he looked understandably disappointed. He took a few bites of it and decided “it wasn’t very good,” which was underselling how bad it looked and almost certainly how bad it tasted.”

3. The regular

“I had a regular at my bar who spoke with a thick Southern accent, always wore an Alabama Crimson Tide shirt or some variant, would only drink beers from the South (Naked Pig Pale being his go to) which I kept in stock just for him, and would sit at the bar, bet the horse races, regale us with tales from his youth, get a little too drunk and leave to take care of his mother. He was there every single day except Thursdays. He demanded we keep Alabama beer in stock and always wanted replays of old Crimson Tide games on TV. It got to the point i started downloading them into a drive and playing them for him, since espn U is only good for so much.We all thought he was crazy but he was nice enough.

This went on for an entire year. Our entire staff knew him and he was pretty well liked. We had to ask him to leave once or twice because he decided to impress someone or would win a couple races and start drinking scotch and get a little out of hand, but he was generally really polite and respectful.

One day he just stopped coming in. One of the older ladies who worked at the track had his phone number, since she had the habit of saving him race books for the tracks he liked, so she called him a few times. Nothing.

About a month later the Police showed up to ask some people at the bar about him, if they might know where he is. We all told them what we knew but apparently not a word of it was true. His name wasn’t Scott, he wasn’t from the South and his mother had been dead for quite a while. Turns out he had seduced an older, southern lady with his charms and wiles, created an entire life with her for her money (supposedly), then disappeared with the money and the lady turned up dead. Police said it was from natural causes but the timing was so odd they still needed to find him to question him.

He came back in for a single drink about 4 months later and he left an envelope for our 3 bartenders he liked and the lady who held racing books for him. $1500 in each. I served him and asked my manager at the time what she thought I should do. She asked if I felt uncomfortable; I said no and since cops aren’t great for business at a horse track we just decided to leave it be. I walked back out and he had left, leaving a simply written “thanks for being a friend” on a napkin with $704.50 in cash under it. The $4.50 was for the beer; and my rent, as he had asked about many months before in a random conversation, was $700 at the time. Dunno if he remembered or if it was just a coincidence.

He was gone and I never saw him again, and his phone number is now out of service. I think about him a couple times a week at least.”

4. Ridiculous delivery order

“I used to work in a sub shop that had delivery. A woman called asking if the driver could pick her up a pack of cigarettes and baby formula when he was bringing her her food… this woman kept claiming she knew the owner (who was not present at the restaurant) and that he told her beforehand that it could be done.

It was busy and I didn’t have time to fight with her so I asked the delivery driver if he could do that for her and he did. Not really a big deal I guess, just a little ridiculous to ask a delivery driver.

Also – asked the owner if he knew the woman… he does not know her personally but just knows her from being a crazy customer who orders frequently.”

5. Wine experts

“I worked in a wine store in a dying shopping mall owned by a local winery We had this ‘wine club’ program and I’m pretty sure this couple were the only active members.

But the level of entitlement these people had was something else. We’d offer samples of a few of different types – usually a Pinot Grigio or a Chardonnay, a merlot, and maybe a riesling or a fruit wine or something that was mass produced and inexpensive.

These people would come in and start ordering me around, would start demanding samples of this Cabernet Sauvignon that cost $80 a bottle (which we never sampled for obvious reasons). The guy would drink the strawberry wine and start critiquing it like he’s a sommelier or something. Once a quarter the winery sent out coupons to its members where if you bought one bottle, you got another one half price – the woman always tried to buy a $15 bottle then get the $80 bottle for half price. It became this quarterly fight she’d try to pick.

They’d always try to pull this right at closing time, too, which is really when I lost patience for it.”

6. The best chicken ever

“Not a server, but I used to be a line cook. I once had a server come back to my saute station and tell me she was about to ring in a chicken dish and the guy specifically wanted it just overcooked to oblivion. I cooked it like I normally would, then I microwaved it for three full minutes, then I held it in tongs and burned the crap out of it directly on the burner flame. I was totally ok with getting reprimanded for overdoing by a mile.

She came back to me a while later and told me that the guy insisted that she thank me because it was the best piece of chicken he’d ever eaten. It was basically the food equivalent of finding out that some guys like to hire women to step on them in high heels. I was absolutely blown away.”

7. What is this charge?

“Table of two. They both ordered the same thing.

Lady A wanted to add a salad. Sure, it will cost extra though. She said that was fine. Lady B then decided that she also wanted a salad.

At the end lady B wanted to know why she was being charged for a salad. Only lady A was told that salads cost extra.”

8. I’m allergic

“I used to work at an Italian restaurant similar to Olive Garden. I had a lady once order a Penne With Chicken and Broccoli… a tasty dish to be sure, but the lady requested that we make it with spaghetti pasta instead of penne because she “is allergic to penne”.

Not sure how exactly you’re allergic to a specific shape of pasta… we’d gladly do the substitute even if she wasn’t allergic.”

9. Coupla quirks

“I was a bartender, but I certainly had my share of ridiculous requests.

– The weirdest was a woman who would come in on her lunch break from the Sprint store nearby and would drink a lemon drop martini before heading back to work. This was a fancy bar and it was a $12 drink. She’d give me an extra $5 to swirl my finger around in the drink before she drank it. It was definitely a weird sex thing.

– One time I had a lady ask for a blueberry mojito made with tequila instead of rum. All other ingredients to remain the same. So this was a mint, lime, blueberry, sugar, and tequila drink. It’s the single most vile cocktail I’ve ever made. She absolutely loved it and tipped me $20 for the drink. As above, it was only a $12 drink.

– We had one regular who was a horrible gross old man. He would constantly request to be changed into the section of a particular waitress (who hated him) so he could make sexual comments to her. I would never honor these requests (fuck you, gross old dude) but my manager also wouldn’t let me kick him out (fuck you, shitty manager). One day he offered to pay me three cents to change tables. Three. Cents. Uh, no.

– Had a former NFL lineman come in and order a, “steak, very rare.” “How rare would you like it?” I asked him. “Tell the cow about fire,” was he response. So yeah, he ordered a 16 oz. piece of raw meat. We briefly described what flames were to the plate after we set it on the table, and he thought that was hilarious.”

10. Enough with the kale, people

“When I waited tables, it was before the whole “Kale is a SUPERFOOD” thing, and I worked at an IHOP where they would put a sprig of kale on every plate as garnish. I didn’t even really know it was edible. I thought it was, you know, just a green thing to make the plates look fancy or whatever.

A man came in one day and ordered something that came with a side, and he asked if he could have kale. I was like… the garnish? Yes, the garnish. He just wanted a bunch of kale. I was really confused but put a bunch on the plate for him and it made him happy, so… there we go. He was years ahead of his time.”

11. Bay leaves

“Friend of mine went to Cheese Cake Factory and ordered a “coffee with bailey’s in it” for dessert. Took ages. Server comes back and confirms. More time goes by – the cook comes out and confirms.

Finally the waitress comes back with a cup of coffee with two bay leaves in it. I can only imagine how confused they were putting that one together.”

12. A classy couple

“It’s been a few years since I’ve worked in a restaurant…I had a couple that would come in regularly, be total assholes the whole time. He’s a trucker, she was a fucking lot lizard that he married. She would order a glass of ice (packed as full as I could get it), hot water and lemon..because she brought her own tea bags and would make her own fucking iced tea at the table.

They would order salad with crackers instead of croutons and soup with croutons instead of crackers. Depending on the food, things had to be on separate plates and very specific items added or left off. “Blonde” french fries. Well done grilled cheese. I loathe these people and I still see them around town.

Edited to add; I’m in Pennsylvania. I honestly had no idea croutons were common in soup in other countries/areas of the US. I guess that makes me sound bitchy instead of just an odd request. Whoops.”

13. No free beer

“Early 2000’s.

Working in an Italian restaurant, this one cat insists he needs lime juice for his meal. As we’re an Italian restaurant, we don’t have any on hand for our menu items, but the bar should have some. Thinking out loud I mention that the kitchen doesn’t have any, but the bar throws those into bottles of Corona, so I might be able to get some there.

Customer: Are you going to charge me for that?

Me: No, I think I can get a garnish for you.

So I come back with the lime and he looks confused.

Customer: Where’s the Corona?

Me: I’m sorry – you said you wanted the lime? Did you want to order a Corona as well?

Customer: Yeah I want one, you said you wouldn’t charge me.

Leading into a back-and-forth wherein he’s upset I didn’t bring him a free Corona with his free lime, because he misunderstood me.”

14. Livin’ that ranch life

“A Mom and young son (maybe 8?) came in to the restaurant I waited tables at for lunch. The Mom asked her son what he wanted to eat, and he replied with “ranch.”

I politely asked if he meant, like, a salad with ranch? Or French fries with a side of ranch?

The Mom looked at me, rolled her eyes in embarrassment, and clarified—he wanted a soup bowl full of ranch dressing…

I walked into the kitchen and discussed with my manager, because I had no idea how to enter that into our POS system. My manager and I came to the conclusion that we should charge her for an entire bottle of ranch, so she paid $10.99 for a soup bowl full of ranch dressing. (Yuck).”

15. No!

“> Oysters!

I explained we are a burger joint, no oysters. He takes off his coat, talks to his date, then stares at me for a second.

> Oysters!

I explain again, no oysters.

> Two dozen! Oysters!

After a third and fourth time where he barks an order at me, then acts all busy so he ‘can’t hear’ my response, I stop and stare at him. He asks again, I just stare, he asks again, I just stare. He finally makes eye contact with me. “Sir, we are a burger joint, no oysters.” He is finally forced to acknowledge me.

> So go get some!

We were in a casino, we were the only restaurant open at 2AM, he knew this but expected me to run around to some closed restaurant and grab raw shellfish them just happen to be hosting during closed hours.”

The post Waiters Dish Out the Most Ridiculous Customer Requests They’ve Ever Received appeared first on UberFacts.

10+ Technological Advancements We Really Should’ve Made Already

Do you ever go have an idea for an invention that you just know would make millions, if only you knew how to actually invent/build it? I get like that all the time, and I also wonder how someone else hasn’t done it either. There are definitely a lot of everyday problems that really should have been solved by now.

I know we’ve come a long way, but maybe we should be farther ahead in some ways? These AskReddit users agree wholeheartedly.

1. Fix it!

“My biggest thing I want advanced is our monitors on ambulance. Doing a chest pain call you have ten wires for the ECG, a blood pressure cuff, spO2 monitor and maybe a capno. It’s a hell of a wire mess that gets caught and rips off the sensors and it’s super frustrating. Make them all Bluetooth! If my furnace filter can alert me that it’s at 75% capacity I’m sure we can fix this.”

2. Glare problems

“Some kind of film/treatment on windshields that completely eliminates sun glare. There have been so many times where I’ve been momentarily blinded and had to let Jesus take the wheel and just hope for the best for a few seconds.

Also whipped cream caps that don’t fall off if you even think in their direction. how is this still a problem??”

3. Not a bad idea

“Glow in the dark or light up lines on the road for when it is difficult to see in the rain at night.”

4. Just that easy

“It’s almost 2019 how the f*ck do TV remotes not have a built in page button. Can’t find the remote? Walk to the TV hit the page button the remote starts beeping. It’s just that easy guys.”

5. Gimme those numbers

“Why is there not a toll calculator implemented into online maps? It seems like it shouldn’t be hard for Google or whoever to get the toll data and just display it when you have tolls on your route.”

6. We need this

“Reverse microwaves so we can cool sodas and beers really fast.”

7. Primitive

“I can’t believe no one has figured out how to get rid of cavities without drilling out your teeth. It’s so primitive.”

8. I can’t hear you

“A cure for tinnitus.”

9. GPS

“I drive for a living. GPS tech, including Google Maps and Waze, is amazing and works beautifully the majority of the time. But why in the HELL does it not know which way I’m facing when I take off? In a big truck, it is a MASSIVE pain in the ass when I don’t know which way to turn when I take off because the GPS doesn’t know which way I’m facing. Making a wrong turn in a big truck costs a lot of time and trouble, and sometimes causes very unsafe situations.”

10. A lot of people would be very happy

“A cure for baldness. I can remember watching Captain Picard on ‘Star Trek The Next Generation’ back in the day and thinking “they haven’t cured baldness hundreds of years in the future yet?!?” “

11. Just an fyi

“Improving technology has actually probably been the cause of shorter battery life. These days smartphones are mini computers, and their processors are more powerful than any computer 10 years ago (probably even more recently than that, I’m just being conservative). A lot of that is due to the rapidly increasing amount of transistors we can fit in a given area.

More transistors running means more power consumption, so despite the fact that battery technology has actually improved over the years, it has kept up with the rate the power consumption has increased to allow us to do all the cool shit we can do with our phones now. The reason old phone batteries lasted longer is not because those batteries were better, but because those phones didn’t do sh*t.”

12. Need a cure

“A cure for migraines. Sometimes it seems more like voodoo rather than a scientific discipline. They can’t even tell us why my wife gets them. She just does, and these two medicines that normally treat totally different conditions, when taken together, seem to help for some reason.”

13. No more coughing

“A cure for allergies/the common cold.”

14. Calm down

“A f*cking machine that will fold your f*cking laundry.”

15. Unreliable

“Printers that actually f*cking work when you need them.”

The post 10+ Technological Advancements We Really Should’ve Made Already appeared first on UberFacts.

15 People Share the “Childish” Things That They Still Love as an Adult

Being an adult means letting go of a lot of the things that you enjoyed as a kid. Playing with action figures is fine when you’re 3, but not so much when you’re 33.

There are so many fun things that adults are supposed to leave behind with their childhood, but these 15 people make great arguments for why we definitely shouldn’t.

You can (and should) bring the delightful things you enjoyed in your childhood with you (even if a little judgment might follow).

#1. Plain Band-aids are for sad people

“Scooby doo bandaids. Every bandaid in my house is scooby band aids.”

#2. English sweet shops

“Old fashioned English sweet shops. The kind with the big jars behind the counter were the assistant weighs stuff out for you like a deli. These places also tend to be the mecca of imported American candy!”

#3. Best thing ever

“Swings. They are the actual best thing ever.”

#4. Right in your pantry

“Sticking my hand in a bag of rice.”

#5. Cats ruin everything

“Made a blanket fort with a girlfriend once. The cats took that one down.”

#6. Nostalgia overload

“Enjoying the smell of the radiator turning on for the first time in fall/winter, nostalgia overload. I used to sit against it under a few blankets playing videogames.”

#7. Muppet everything

“Watching the Muppet Christmas special.”

#8. One of everything

“My wife and I went to a drive-in movie on our honeymoon.

When I was a kid, my parents refused to let us have candy at the movies, or maybe one tiny thing you ate in the first five minutes.

I told me wife this and she looked at me unblinking and then flatly stated, “We’re buying one of everything.”

Best stomachache ever.”

#9. Very often

“I guess the fact that I give/call everyone silly names, very often.

“Hi, my name’s Marco”

“Ayy Barko Wadup”

“It’s -M-arco”

“Whatever Garco”

“Eyy Skarko come here really quick”

I think people hate me.”

#10. Brother love

“Making my older brothers mad by repeating what they say. We’re in our 30s.”

#11. A good laugh

“When I’m driving past a bus stop and the people are waving at the bus coming up behind me I like to wave at them as though they were waving at me. Gives me a good laugh and they usually get an odd look on their face.”

#12. So I can play with cars

“I want to buy that carpet with roads, so I can play with cars. My parents never bought it for me and I still hate them for it.”

#13. Loud toys

“Not me but my dad. Whenever he sees a toy aisle he just has to go down it and turn on every single loud toy that he can find. Whenever someone walks over to see what’s going on, he looks around as if he’s looking for some kid that did it and ran off. Then he shrugs it off as if he was in the aisle to buy toys for his grandkids.”

#14. “Swords”

“Using sticks as ´swords´.”

#15. F*ck gender roles

“whn i was a little girl, all i wanted was a set of those large, metal, yellow tonka trucks. they’re so cool. my mother wouldn’t get them for me, wouldn’t even let me play with the little boy’s next door. (this was more than 60 years ago) because they weren’t toys for girls.

first thing i did 20 years later with my first pay check from my first real job was buy a set of them: a dump truck, one that lifted piles of stuff with a front loader, and one that had a crane. i still use the dump truck as a fruit bowl on my kitchen counter.

go buy your carpet. you won’t believe how damn happy it makes you.

also, fuck gender roles.”

Screw the haters, my friends, and you do you.

The post 15 People Share the “Childish” Things That They Still Love as an Adult appeared first on UberFacts.

Grandma Takes Incredible Boudoir Pics to Prove That #RelationshipGoals Have No Age Limit

Boudoir pictures are all the rage these days. If you’re unfamiliar, they’re basically just some racy photos one usually takes (often with the help of a photographer) as a sexy surprise for their significant other.

But sexy photos are usually the purview of younger couples. You know, the set that doesn’t have to worry about extra skin and stretch marks and saggy boobs, et al.

Then again, screw body negativity! Once your kids leave the nest, it seems like the perfect time invest in some sexy snaps!

Maybe that’s what Georgia grandma Lisa Bishop thought when her daughter Samantha, who takes boudoir photographs for a living, offered to photograph her. However, they decided to take the boudoir idea and turn it on its head – or knitting needles as the case may be.

She told Scary Mommy:

“I’m a boudoir photographer and my mom and I talked about doing a shoot. She said she’d only do one if we could do it in a bathtub full of yarn.”

And thus, this beautiful, hilarious idea came to fruition.

It may have begun as a joke but as they went along, Lisa really started to get into it. They started with the yarn, but then took things a step further…

Your eyes do not deceive you — those are Wether’s Originals pouring over her bare legs. This is how a legend is born.

Her daughter revealed that they didn’t even have to buy any of the props.

“She’s an avid crocheter, so we already had the yarn on hand.”

No word on the Werther’s, though I figure Lisa’s got lots more where those came from…

The good news is the last few pages of the photo album are blank, which means we can all cross our fingers for follow up shots.

You can see by her husband’s reaction that he’s hoping for the same.

“Oh good,” he says. “There’s room for more.”

Amen, Mike. Amen.

The post Grandma Takes Incredible Boudoir Pics to Prove That #RelationshipGoals Have No Age Limit appeared first on UberFacts.