Waiters Dish Out the Most Ridiculous Customer Requests They’ve Ever Received

Being a server in a restaurant is pretty much the worst job ever, mostly because of the customers. Sure, most of them are fine, but inevitably there are always some that try to make all these extra demands and get really rude about it.

In this AskReddit article, servers revealed the most ridiculous requests they’ve ever received from customers. Maybe they’ll be like cautionary tales to help keep you on your best behavior at restaurants?

1. At least you made some money

“Working as a server (17ish) had a drunk lady ask to give her a ride home. I finished up closing out my section and gave her a ride because I knew the area pretty well. She was really nice and everything, but had a couple drinks too many and her friends had already left a little earlier and she was too embarrassed to make a scene or call someone. She gave me $50 and I was stoked.”

2. Dry steak, please

“I haven’t waited tables in about 10 years now but I’ll never forget the guy who asked for his steak “dry.” When I pressed him for what he wanted explicitly he explained that he wanted “no juice” to come out when he was eating it. I told him it would take about 30 minutes to cook his steak that done, he said that was fine and off I went.

Our steaks were pretty miserable portions in the first place, and the cut he ordered was the smallest one on the menu, so when I returned with his tiny little 6 oz flat iron that had been absolutely desiccated on the grill he looked understandably disappointed. He took a few bites of it and decided “it wasn’t very good,” which was underselling how bad it looked and almost certainly how bad it tasted.”

3. The regular

“I had a regular at my bar who spoke with a thick Southern accent, always wore an Alabama Crimson Tide shirt or some variant, would only drink beers from the South (Naked Pig Pale being his go to) which I kept in stock just for him, and would sit at the bar, bet the horse races, regale us with tales from his youth, get a little too drunk and leave to take care of his mother. He was there every single day except Thursdays. He demanded we keep Alabama beer in stock and always wanted replays of old Crimson Tide games on TV. It got to the point i started downloading them into a drive and playing them for him, since espn U is only good for so much.We all thought he was crazy but he was nice enough.

This went on for an entire year. Our entire staff knew him and he was pretty well liked. We had to ask him to leave once or twice because he decided to impress someone or would win a couple races and start drinking scotch and get a little out of hand, but he was generally really polite and respectful.

One day he just stopped coming in. One of the older ladies who worked at the track had his phone number, since she had the habit of saving him race books for the tracks he liked, so she called him a few times. Nothing.

About a month later the Police showed up to ask some people at the bar about him, if they might know where he is. We all told them what we knew but apparently not a word of it was true. His name wasn’t Scott, he wasn’t from the South and his mother had been dead for quite a while. Turns out he had seduced an older, southern lady with his charms and wiles, created an entire life with her for her money (supposedly), then disappeared with the money and the lady turned up dead. Police said it was from natural causes but the timing was so odd they still needed to find him to question him.

He came back in for a single drink about 4 months later and he left an envelope for our 3 bartenders he liked and the lady who held racing books for him. $1500 in each. I served him and asked my manager at the time what she thought I should do. She asked if I felt uncomfortable; I said no and since cops aren’t great for business at a horse track we just decided to leave it be. I walked back out and he had left, leaving a simply written “thanks for being a friend” on a napkin with $704.50 in cash under it. The $4.50 was for the beer; and my rent, as he had asked about many months before in a random conversation, was $700 at the time. Dunno if he remembered or if it was just a coincidence.

He was gone and I never saw him again, and his phone number is now out of service. I think about him a couple times a week at least.”

4. Ridiculous delivery order

“I used to work in a sub shop that had delivery. A woman called asking if the driver could pick her up a pack of cigarettes and baby formula when he was bringing her her food… this woman kept claiming she knew the owner (who was not present at the restaurant) and that he told her beforehand that it could be done.

It was busy and I didn’t have time to fight with her so I asked the delivery driver if he could do that for her and he did. Not really a big deal I guess, just a little ridiculous to ask a delivery driver.

Also – asked the owner if he knew the woman… he does not know her personally but just knows her from being a crazy customer who orders frequently.”

5. Wine experts

“I worked in a wine store in a dying shopping mall owned by a local winery We had this ‘wine club’ program and I’m pretty sure this couple were the only active members.

But the level of entitlement these people had was something else. We’d offer samples of a few of different types – usually a Pinot Grigio or a Chardonnay, a merlot, and maybe a riesling or a fruit wine or something that was mass produced and inexpensive.

These people would come in and start ordering me around, would start demanding samples of this Cabernet Sauvignon that cost $80 a bottle (which we never sampled for obvious reasons). The guy would drink the strawberry wine and start critiquing it like he’s a sommelier or something. Once a quarter the winery sent out coupons to its members where if you bought one bottle, you got another one half price – the woman always tried to buy a $15 bottle then get the $80 bottle for half price. It became this quarterly fight she’d try to pick.

They’d always try to pull this right at closing time, too, which is really when I lost patience for it.”

6. The best chicken ever

“Not a server, but I used to be a line cook. I once had a server come back to my saute station and tell me she was about to ring in a chicken dish and the guy specifically wanted it just overcooked to oblivion. I cooked it like I normally would, then I microwaved it for three full minutes, then I held it in tongs and burned the crap out of it directly on the burner flame. I was totally ok with getting reprimanded for overdoing by a mile.

She came back to me a while later and told me that the guy insisted that she thank me because it was the best piece of chicken he’d ever eaten. It was basically the food equivalent of finding out that some guys like to hire women to step on them in high heels. I was absolutely blown away.”

7. What is this charge?

“Table of two. They both ordered the same thing.

Lady A wanted to add a salad. Sure, it will cost extra though. She said that was fine. Lady B then decided that she also wanted a salad.

At the end lady B wanted to know why she was being charged for a salad. Only lady A was told that salads cost extra.”

8. I’m allergic

“I used to work at an Italian restaurant similar to Olive Garden. I had a lady once order a Penne With Chicken and Broccoli… a tasty dish to be sure, but the lady requested that we make it with spaghetti pasta instead of penne because she “is allergic to penne”.

Not sure how exactly you’re allergic to a specific shape of pasta… we’d gladly do the substitute even if she wasn’t allergic.”

9. Coupla quirks

“I was a bartender, but I certainly had my share of ridiculous requests.

– The weirdest was a woman who would come in on her lunch break from the Sprint store nearby and would drink a lemon drop martini before heading back to work. This was a fancy bar and it was a $12 drink. She’d give me an extra $5 to swirl my finger around in the drink before she drank it. It was definitely a weird sex thing.

– One time I had a lady ask for a blueberry mojito made with tequila instead of rum. All other ingredients to remain the same. So this was a mint, lime, blueberry, sugar, and tequila drink. It’s the single most vile cocktail I’ve ever made. She absolutely loved it and tipped me $20 for the drink. As above, it was only a $12 drink.

– We had one regular who was a horrible gross old man. He would constantly request to be changed into the section of a particular waitress (who hated him) so he could make sexual comments to her. I would never honor these requests (fuck you, gross old dude) but my manager also wouldn’t let me kick him out (fuck you, shitty manager). One day he offered to pay me three cents to change tables. Three. Cents. Uh, no.

– Had a former NFL lineman come in and order a, “steak, very rare.” “How rare would you like it?” I asked him. “Tell the cow about fire,” was he response. So yeah, he ordered a 16 oz. piece of raw meat. We briefly described what flames were to the plate after we set it on the table, and he thought that was hilarious.”

10. Enough with the kale, people

“When I waited tables, it was before the whole “Kale is a SUPERFOOD” thing, and I worked at an IHOP where they would put a sprig of kale on every plate as garnish. I didn’t even really know it was edible. I thought it was, you know, just a green thing to make the plates look fancy or whatever.

A man came in one day and ordered something that came with a side, and he asked if he could have kale. I was like… the garnish? Yes, the garnish. He just wanted a bunch of kale. I was really confused but put a bunch on the plate for him and it made him happy, so… there we go. He was years ahead of his time.”

11. Bay leaves

“Friend of mine went to Cheese Cake Factory and ordered a “coffee with bailey’s in it” for dessert. Took ages. Server comes back and confirms. More time goes by – the cook comes out and confirms.

Finally the waitress comes back with a cup of coffee with two bay leaves in it. I can only imagine how confused they were putting that one together.”

12. A classy couple

“It’s been a few years since I’ve worked in a restaurant…I had a couple that would come in regularly, be total assholes the whole time. He’s a trucker, she was a fucking lot lizard that he married. She would order a glass of ice (packed as full as I could get it), hot water and lemon..because she brought her own tea bags and would make her own fucking iced tea at the table.

They would order salad with crackers instead of croutons and soup with croutons instead of crackers. Depending on the food, things had to be on separate plates and very specific items added or left off. “Blonde” french fries. Well done grilled cheese. I loathe these people and I still see them around town.

Edited to add; I’m in Pennsylvania. I honestly had no idea croutons were common in soup in other countries/areas of the US. I guess that makes me sound bitchy instead of just an odd request. Whoops.”

13. No free beer

“Early 2000’s.

Working in an Italian restaurant, this one cat insists he needs lime juice for his meal. As we’re an Italian restaurant, we don’t have any on hand for our menu items, but the bar should have some. Thinking out loud I mention that the kitchen doesn’t have any, but the bar throws those into bottles of Corona, so I might be able to get some there.

Customer: Are you going to charge me for that?

Me: No, I think I can get a garnish for you.

So I come back with the lime and he looks confused.

Customer: Where’s the Corona?

Me: I’m sorry – you said you wanted the lime? Did you want to order a Corona as well?

Customer: Yeah I want one, you said you wouldn’t charge me.

Leading into a back-and-forth wherein he’s upset I didn’t bring him a free Corona with his free lime, because he misunderstood me.”

14. Livin’ that ranch life

“A Mom and young son (maybe 8?) came in to the restaurant I waited tables at for lunch. The Mom asked her son what he wanted to eat, and he replied with “ranch.”

I politely asked if he meant, like, a salad with ranch? Or French fries with a side of ranch?

The Mom looked at me, rolled her eyes in embarrassment, and clarified—he wanted a soup bowl full of ranch dressing…

I walked into the kitchen and discussed with my manager, because I had no idea how to enter that into our POS system. My manager and I came to the conclusion that we should charge her for an entire bottle of ranch, so she paid $10.99 for a soup bowl full of ranch dressing. (Yuck).”

15. No!

“> Oysters!

I explained we are a burger joint, no oysters. He takes off his coat, talks to his date, then stares at me for a second.

> Oysters!

I explain again, no oysters.

> Two dozen! Oysters!

After a third and fourth time where he barks an order at me, then acts all busy so he ‘can’t hear’ my response, I stop and stare at him. He asks again, I just stare, he asks again, I just stare. He finally makes eye contact with me. “Sir, we are a burger joint, no oysters.” He is finally forced to acknowledge me.

> So go get some!

We were in a casino, we were the only restaurant open at 2AM, he knew this but expected me to run around to some closed restaurant and grab raw shellfish them just happen to be hosting during closed hours.”

The post Waiters Dish Out the Most Ridiculous Customer Requests They’ve Ever Received appeared first on UberFacts.

10+ Technological Advancements We Really Should’ve Made Already

Do you ever go have an idea for an invention that you just know would make millions, if only you knew how to actually invent/build it? I get like that all the time, and I also wonder how someone else hasn’t done it either. There are definitely a lot of everyday problems that really should have been solved by now.

I know we’ve come a long way, but maybe we should be farther ahead in some ways? These AskReddit users agree wholeheartedly.

1. Fix it!

“My biggest thing I want advanced is our monitors on ambulance. Doing a chest pain call you have ten wires for the ECG, a blood pressure cuff, spO2 monitor and maybe a capno. It’s a hell of a wire mess that gets caught and rips off the sensors and it’s super frustrating. Make them all Bluetooth! If my furnace filter can alert me that it’s at 75% capacity I’m sure we can fix this.”

2. Glare problems

“Some kind of film/treatment on windshields that completely eliminates sun glare. There have been so many times where I’ve been momentarily blinded and had to let Jesus take the wheel and just hope for the best for a few seconds.

Also whipped cream caps that don’t fall off if you even think in their direction. how is this still a problem??”

3. Not a bad idea

“Glow in the dark or light up lines on the road for when it is difficult to see in the rain at night.”

4. Just that easy

“It’s almost 2019 how the f*ck do TV remotes not have a built in page button. Can’t find the remote? Walk to the TV hit the page button the remote starts beeping. It’s just that easy guys.”

5. Gimme those numbers

“Why is there not a toll calculator implemented into online maps? It seems like it shouldn’t be hard for Google or whoever to get the toll data and just display it when you have tolls on your route.”

6. We need this

“Reverse microwaves so we can cool sodas and beers really fast.”

7. Primitive

“I can’t believe no one has figured out how to get rid of cavities without drilling out your teeth. It’s so primitive.”

8. I can’t hear you

“A cure for tinnitus.”

9. GPS

“I drive for a living. GPS tech, including Google Maps and Waze, is amazing and works beautifully the majority of the time. But why in the HELL does it not know which way I’m facing when I take off? In a big truck, it is a MASSIVE pain in the ass when I don’t know which way to turn when I take off because the GPS doesn’t know which way I’m facing. Making a wrong turn in a big truck costs a lot of time and trouble, and sometimes causes very unsafe situations.”

10. A lot of people would be very happy

“A cure for baldness. I can remember watching Captain Picard on ‘Star Trek The Next Generation’ back in the day and thinking “they haven’t cured baldness hundreds of years in the future yet?!?” “

11. Just an fyi

“Improving technology has actually probably been the cause of shorter battery life. These days smartphones are mini computers, and their processors are more powerful than any computer 10 years ago (probably even more recently than that, I’m just being conservative). A lot of that is due to the rapidly increasing amount of transistors we can fit in a given area.

More transistors running means more power consumption, so despite the fact that battery technology has actually improved over the years, it has kept up with the rate the power consumption has increased to allow us to do all the cool shit we can do with our phones now. The reason old phone batteries lasted longer is not because those batteries were better, but because those phones didn’t do sh*t.”

12. Need a cure

“A cure for migraines. Sometimes it seems more like voodoo rather than a scientific discipline. They can’t even tell us why my wife gets them. She just does, and these two medicines that normally treat totally different conditions, when taken together, seem to help for some reason.”

13. No more coughing

“A cure for allergies/the common cold.”

14. Calm down

“A f*cking machine that will fold your f*cking laundry.”

15. Unreliable

“Printers that actually f*cking work when you need them.”

The post 10+ Technological Advancements We Really Should’ve Made Already appeared first on UberFacts.

15 People Share the “Childish” Things That They Still Love as an Adult

Being an adult means letting go of a lot of the things that you enjoyed as a kid. Playing with action figures is fine when you’re 3, but not so much when you’re 33.

There are so many fun things that adults are supposed to leave behind with their childhood, but these 15 people make great arguments for why we definitely shouldn’t.

You can (and should) bring the delightful things you enjoyed in your childhood with you (even if a little judgment might follow).

#1. Plain Band-aids are for sad people

“Scooby doo bandaids. Every bandaid in my house is scooby band aids.”

#2. English sweet shops

“Old fashioned English sweet shops. The kind with the big jars behind the counter were the assistant weighs stuff out for you like a deli. These places also tend to be the mecca of imported American candy!”

#3. Best thing ever

“Swings. They are the actual best thing ever.”

#4. Right in your pantry

“Sticking my hand in a bag of rice.”

#5. Cats ruin everything

“Made a blanket fort with a girlfriend once. The cats took that one down.”

#6. Nostalgia overload

“Enjoying the smell of the radiator turning on for the first time in fall/winter, nostalgia overload. I used to sit against it under a few blankets playing videogames.”

#7. Muppet everything

“Watching the Muppet Christmas special.”

#8. One of everything

“My wife and I went to a drive-in movie on our honeymoon.

When I was a kid, my parents refused to let us have candy at the movies, or maybe one tiny thing you ate in the first five minutes.

I told me wife this and she looked at me unblinking and then flatly stated, “We’re buying one of everything.”

Best stomachache ever.”

#9. Very often

“I guess the fact that I give/call everyone silly names, very often.

“Hi, my name’s Marco”

“Ayy Barko Wadup”

“It’s -M-arco”

“Whatever Garco”

“Eyy Skarko come here really quick”

I think people hate me.”

#10. Brother love

“Making my older brothers mad by repeating what they say. We’re in our 30s.”

#11. A good laugh

“When I’m driving past a bus stop and the people are waving at the bus coming up behind me I like to wave at them as though they were waving at me. Gives me a good laugh and they usually get an odd look on their face.”

#12. So I can play with cars

“I want to buy that carpet with roads, so I can play with cars. My parents never bought it for me and I still hate them for it.”

#13. Loud toys

“Not me but my dad. Whenever he sees a toy aisle he just has to go down it and turn on every single loud toy that he can find. Whenever someone walks over to see what’s going on, he looks around as if he’s looking for some kid that did it and ran off. Then he shrugs it off as if he was in the aisle to buy toys for his grandkids.”

#14. “Swords”

“Using sticks as ´swords´.”

#15. F*ck gender roles

“whn i was a little girl, all i wanted was a set of those large, metal, yellow tonka trucks. they’re so cool. my mother wouldn’t get them for me, wouldn’t even let me play with the little boy’s next door. (this was more than 60 years ago) because they weren’t toys for girls.

first thing i did 20 years later with my first pay check from my first real job was buy a set of them: a dump truck, one that lifted piles of stuff with a front loader, and one that had a crane. i still use the dump truck as a fruit bowl on my kitchen counter.

go buy your carpet. you won’t believe how damn happy it makes you.

also, fuck gender roles.”

Screw the haters, my friends, and you do you.

The post 15 People Share the “Childish” Things That They Still Love as an Adult appeared first on UberFacts.

Grandma Takes Incredible Boudoir Pics to Prove That #RelationshipGoals Have No Age Limit

Boudoir pictures are all the rage these days. If you’re unfamiliar, they’re basically just some racy photos one usually takes (often with the help of a photographer) as a sexy surprise for their significant other.

But sexy photos are usually the purview of younger couples. You know, the set that doesn’t have to worry about extra skin and stretch marks and saggy boobs, et al.

Then again, screw body negativity! Once your kids leave the nest, it seems like the perfect time invest in some sexy snaps!

Maybe that’s what Georgia grandma Lisa Bishop thought when her daughter Samantha, who takes boudoir photographs for a living, offered to photograph her. However, they decided to take the boudoir idea and turn it on its head – or knitting needles as the case may be.

She told Scary Mommy:

“I’m a boudoir photographer and my mom and I talked about doing a shoot. She said she’d only do one if we could do it in a bathtub full of yarn.”

And thus, this beautiful, hilarious idea came to fruition.

It may have begun as a joke but as they went along, Lisa really started to get into it. They started with the yarn, but then took things a step further…

Your eyes do not deceive you — those are Wether’s Originals pouring over her bare legs. This is how a legend is born.

Her daughter revealed that they didn’t even have to buy any of the props.

“She’s an avid crocheter, so we already had the yarn on hand.”

No word on the Werther’s, though I figure Lisa’s got lots more where those came from…

The good news is the last few pages of the photo album are blank, which means we can all cross our fingers for follow up shots.

You can see by her husband’s reaction that he’s hoping for the same.

“Oh good,” he says. “There’s room for more.”

Amen, Mike. Amen.

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People Reveal Some of the Pettiest Reasons They’ve Ended a Relationship

Relationships often come to an end. Sometimes, that end is amicable and based on some pretty sound reasons that make breaking up the best option for both parties. Other times, the reason is seemingly trivial, like someone leaving dirty socks ALL OVER THE PLACE. It may sound silly, but if that little thing is a trigger for you, it can be a dealbreaker.

Those little, deal-breaking things can honestly be pretty hilarious – they just go to show how particular people can be. Some of the ones in this AskReddit post even feel like they’re straight out of a Seinfeld episode. Maybe we’ll see some of these relationship-ending quirks on the next big sitcom?

1. Condescending

“She had been to university and I hadn’t, wasn’t really much of a big deal to me. Until one day she had her friends round, and they were talking and I was obviously trying to engage in conversation and make a good first impression.

At which point she said “aw you don’t have to try to talk to us, you can watch TV” I can see how it might have been innocent, but f*cking hell it felt condescending. I’m not a child, I can be part of an adult conversation without a degree.”

2. The bus was the culprit

“When I was in high school I broke up with my boyfriend when it came time to pick our bus seats for the semester. I knew he’d want to sit together. I also knew we’d probably break up during the semester, and then have to go through the drama and embarrassment of getting our seats changed. So I broke up with him before the seating charts came out to make my life easier down the road.”

3. Didn’t see an issue?

“I was the dumpee not the dumper. I shared a post on Facebook of the new Dragonball Z Adidas sneakers. My fiance’s sister’s BF commented calling my friends and I nerds and threatened to kill us. Fiance didn’t see an issue with this and sided with him. We got in a huge fight a bout it which led to her texting me at work a few days later to end our 4 year relationship via text.”

4. Rumors

“A girl I rode the bus with in middle School asked me out, I said sure. On the way home that same day she complimented my eyes and asked if I wore mascara. Being that I’ve always been a sarcastic ass I said, something like “Yup. If you like that, you should see me with my lipstick on.”

She broke up with me on the spot and started a rumor that I was gay. I’d blame her for the fact that I didn’t get any other girlfriends until high school, but it didn’t exactly score me any boyfriend’s either… so I guess it was just me. Lol.”

5. Unforgivable

“She criticized the way I cut green peppers. I learned from professional chefs, and she just butchered them when I asked her to show me how I was “supposed to do it”.

Also, she didn’t think dinosaurs ever existed. She was 23, and I was 24.”

6. That’s annoying

“I was seeing this guy who would always say “I forgive you” any time we slightly disagreed on something or I did something little like shut the car door too hard. I got so annoyed of being “forgiven” for things I hadn’t even apologized for.

Still irritates me and it’s supposed to be a polite thing. Irksome.”

7. The dreaded brown shirt

“He wore this one brown shirt I absolutely hated like once a week at least. I figured I didn’t really like him that much if I was so focused on one shirt. I was also 15.”

8. Realization

“Haha, that rings a bell with me. My first gf did something similar:

We went to the FiBo (Huge fitness fair in Germany) and got in line to get some goodies. The stand we were at handed out T-Shirts, both of us got the same size (she wanted hers oversized). A couple days later she mentioned that she didn’t really need or like her shirt and I said I’d take it – she wanted 5 bucks in exchange.

I really wanted that shirt, so I said screw it and gave her the money.

Month or two later, she wanted her shirt back. Didn’t give me my money back.

That was some serious Scrooge McDuck move lol. It made me realize however (along with a lot of other things she did) that this isn’t a person I wanna be with.”

9. $2

“She wanted $2 for my share of the pizza we bought after I filled up my car to take us and some friends to the mall. There was about 5 years of bullsh*t before that… but that $2 was the final straw.”

10. I need some space

“I was 17 and leaving for the Army. We had only been dating a couple months, and the night before I shipped out, she gave me one of those cringey morph photos of what your kids would look like based on pictures of the couple.

She wasn’t typically crazy, just really insecure and young me saw my life flash before my eyes. I sat her down and explained that it was a crazy stressful time, she was still a sophomore or junior in high school, and that I needed some space to get some life momentum and couldn’t string her along into the unknown. She cried, we hugged and kissed goodbye for about an hour, and that was that.”

11. Musician problems

“A friend who is obscenely into classical music was dating a violinist and broke up with her because she mispronounced Shostakovich.

Musician problems I guess.”

12. Bonus

“She was pissed I wasn’t sharing my year end bonus with **her**. She obviously snooped in my checkbook at home office.”

13. Can’t get past that tat

“A bad tattoo.

She had a really big (and bad) Alkaline Trio tattoo on her lower back. It was clearly from another time in her life. But for some reason I just couldn’t move past it. We’d be having sex and I just couldn’t stop looking at it.

Other than that I was really attracted to her. But I can still see that tattoo in my mind and it makes me cringe.”

14. Actually…

“She was mad at me because she thought I didn’t like her cat.
I liked the cat better than her, so I figured it was time to bow out.”

15. Choose

“She gave me one of those Force FX lightsabers, even though she wasn’t a Star Wars fan at all. 30-minutes later, she starts a fight and tries to take the lightsaber. I said it was a gift. “It’s me or the lightsaber,” she says.

It’s sitting above my office desk as I type this.”

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15+ Dads Who Totally Out-Dadded Themselves This Year

Dads are a whole other breed of human. I’m not sure if “Dad-ness” (which includes symptoms like lame jokes and wearing New Balance shoes) is something that all men just carry dormant within them, or if it’s a side-effect of having kids. Either way, it comes for all of us one day.

But that’s what makes Dads such wonderful (and funny) people.

And these dads are taking it to the next level.

1. Hahahaha

Photo Credit: Twitter

2. F-A-R-T

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3. Meow

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4. He needed that

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5. He’s an expert now

Photo Credit: Twitter

6. Backup

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7. Proud papa

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8. We can get toast, too

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9. Yes, you do

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10. Which one are you again?

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11. This is incredible

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12. Solid move

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13. Sorry, Dad

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14. Noooooooooo

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15. Sounds familiar

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16. Why not?

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17. Slang

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18. He blew it

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19. You’ve been lied to

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20. Going way back

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Let’s all tip our caps to the dads out there. They keep us entertained, if nothing else.

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This Family’s Christmas Card Gets Better and Better Every Year

When it comes to their annual Christmas card, the Stanley family from Charlotte, North Carolina has it all figured out.

For the past five years, Mom, Dad, two brothers, a new little sister (this year) have mailed out a hilarious and crazy Christmas card to friends and family.

Jonathan Stanley said, “The very first time we tried to take a “traditional” Christmas card photo we had hilariously bad results.” So why not do something different.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Jonathan added, “We were new parents with a one-year-old and everything went wrong – baby cried the whole time, it was windy, the lighting kept changing, you name it. If 2 of us looked okay, the third one blinked. We laughed so hard at how bad the photos were that we decided just to send them out as is and our family loved it. From there the tradition was born – instead of trying to send perfect cards, we would send something that represented the chaos of parenting.”

Scroll through the Stanleys’ cards and you’ll see the evolution of the family and the laughs.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Photo Credit: Reddit

Photo Credit: Reddit

Photo Credit: Reddit

Can’t wait to see next year’s version.

The post This Family’s Christmas Card Gets Better and Better Every Year appeared first on UberFacts.

15+ People Who Were Actually Fooled by Fake News in 2018

Fake news is one of the saddest, most defining feature of our times. Sometimes, it’s just harmless fun, but it can easily turn into much worse.

We’re currently living in an alternate universe where up is down and black and white, so we might as well have some fun! Also, for some reason people have no idea what sarcasm is and what The Onion is all about.

And these examples of people falling for fake news are pretty damn funny.

1. How could anyone believe this?

Photo Credit: Twitter

2. S-U-N

Photo Credit: Twitter

3. May have a screw loose

Photo Credit: Twitter

4. Not realistic

Photo Credit: Twitter

5. I support this

Photo Credit: Twitter

6. Big mistake

Photo Credit: Twitter

7. “Scientists”

Photo Credit: Facebook

8. They’re all empty now

Photo Credit: Facebook

9. A lovely story

Photo Credit: Facebook

10. That’s not real

Photo Credit: Twitter

11. That is rude

Photo Credit: Twitter

12. No sh*t

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13. He does it all

Photo Credit: Facebook

14. Disgusted by this development

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15. I think she’ll do great

Photo Credit: Facebook

16. Just throw it in

Photo Credit: Facebook

17. Really, really low

Photo Credit: Facebook

18. Yay!

Photo Credit: Facebook

19. Very sad

Photo Credit: Facebook

20. Vegan Simba

Photo Credit: Facebook

Sad!

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Children of Strict Parents Share the Ridiculous Rules They Had to Follow

Growing up in an Indian household, I know for a fact my parents were much more strict than a lot of my friends. That said when I read the stories below I thanked my lucky stars that my parents were still pretty reasonable.

AskReddit users ‘fessed up and revealed the ridiculous things their parents wouldn’t allow them to do. If you think your parents were hard on you…you might reconsider by the end.

1. SMH

“I was once grounded for a month, like, could go out to play with my friends, watch TV, play video games, or use the phone, because I said that I believed in evolution.

I had to admit that evolution wasn’t real, and I had to write “Evolution is not real.” 100 times.

We didn’t even go to church.”

2. No friends

“My dad wouldn’t let me leave the house on the weekends.

Guess who was upset that I didn’t have any friends?”

3. Homeschooled

“I was taken out of school and homeschooled. I wasn’t allowed to see my friends more than once every few months. So I would go weeks without seeing anybody except my parents and old church-people.

This was basically my entire time as a teenager.”

4. No entry

“My mom allowed me to invite friends over but they weren’t allowed in the house. One day it rained and we had to sit on the porch until my friend’s mom came to get her.”

5. Truly white

“I wasn’t allowed to wear white clothes, cuz I’d never be able to keep them “truly white”.

Also, drive. Everyone around me has a drivers license except for me. When asking my parents why they never taught me or sent me to driving lessons, they just said “oh, you’re not good enough to drive”. Without actually giving me a chance. Thanks mom and stepdad.”

6. Why bother inviting him?

“My dad told me (F18) to invite one of my male friends (M18) with us on vacation. The friend’s room was on the one side of the living room while mine was on the other. My dad proceeded to stack 5 chairs on the inside of my door so that he’ll hear if my FRIEND snuck into my room.”

7. Rough Childhood

“I wasn’t allowed to have friends at all. Wasn’t allowed to go outside to play except supervised in the yard. I had a pet snake, she was my only friend. One night she got out of her tank some how and my dad found her. She hissed at him, he killed her then he skinned her while I had to watch.

In high school I was allowed to go to someones house to play D&D with them. But it ended up being a ‘test’ that I failed resulting in a lot of screaming and punishment.

After HS, my father made me start college immediately, threatening to kick me out if I didn’t. Literally a week out of HS I was in college doing a degree I had zero interest in. I finished and tried to do a degree that I was interested in, I was berated, screamed at and manipulated into quitting. During HS I wasn’t allowed to work or get a driving license or get out in the world at all so I was 100% stupid about pretty much everything.

There are worse things… but I guess it turned out well enough.”

8. Grounded

“Was once grounded from the library because my parents were mad that they couldn’t punish me with isolation (go to my room? Yes, please!).”

9. Satanic Panic

“I wasn’t allowed to play Dungeons and Dragons any more, got my books and materials confiscated.

1980s Satanic Panic stuff.

It particularly sucked because we weren’t well off and I’d earned the money to buy the DM books without their help. Plus, losing those made friends’ investment in player manuals useless …”

10. Strict

“My parents were very strict about “gender appropriate activities” I’m a girl so any activity deemed to masculine was off limits. Things I was interested in but banned from doing:

Skateboarding, video games, reading comic books, playing Pokemon, certain movies and books, playing most sports, watching most sports… The list goes on.”

11. Don’t cheat

“I was once sent to my room for cheating at Battleship.

I had to stay on my bed for a few hours. My mother went to the store and left us kids alone. At some point, my sister got stuck in a tree. I left my room, helped her down, then returned to my bed. When Mom got home I told her, and got in trouble for leaving the room.”

12. Um…

“My parents had a eat it or wear it rule.

I distinctly remember hiding under the table while my mom threw spaghetti at me.”

13. Roald Dahl forbidden

“My mom raised us in a super Christian household but has relaxed as I grew up. When I was in elementary school she didn’t want me to watch James and the Giant Peach for some reason (oooOoohh evil).

We watched it in my third grade class and I was too shy to speak up. Then as the credits were rolling, I raised my hand and said, “Mrs. Norris, I am not allowed to watch that movie.” lol. my poor grade school self.”

14. The Big N

“I got an “N” in handwriting in 2nd grade (it stands for Needs Improvement).

They took my toys, books, posters, art supplies, everything, and put it in the closet and nailed the closet shut. They dumped my clothes in a pile on the floor and taped my dresser shut. I had to live in a completely barren room with nothing at all to do but lay on the bed and daydream and think about what I did until the next improved report card came out. It was a very long 6 weeks.

By high school they were so wrapped up in their own addictions and petty dramas that they entirely gave up the pretense of being strict parents raising smart successful children. They didn’t care if I went to school, got good grades, did homework, etc. I showed them by not graduating.”

15. No tattoos for you

“I understand why my mum does this but it’s still annoying, but she absolutely will not let me get a tattoo. I’m 18, I don’t need her permission and I’m really tempted to do it anyway cause I don’t care anymore, but she’s that parent who’s like “my house my rules” and threatens to kick me out if I get a tattoo (Which is a total lie but I want to leave anyway so I may just do it to get kicked out on purpose).”

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10+ People Share the One Thing They’re Glad They’ll Never, Ever Have to Do Again

For me, the answer would definitely be “moving my in-laws out of state.” Now, some of you might think that sounds like a pretty desirable thing but, A) I actually really love my in-laws, and B) they are terrible at packing. Between those two things, having to literally pack, clean, and move their entire lifetime’s worth of belongings was… rough, to say the least.

Everyone has their own thing (or things) they loathe doing so much they’ll never acquiesce to doing it again. But you may not have considered the 15 below.

#1. I’ll never look back

“Being addicted to heroin and being homeless. I’m 2 years clean with a family of my own and a place to call home. I left that life and I’ll never look back.”

#2. Sh*t

“I used to work in this absolute shit medical job. It was the absolute worst because there wasn’t a single good thing about it. The people I worked with were shit, the people I interacted with were shit. You could go into that place at 5am happy as can be and leave the place after 6 failed bathroom noose’ings just to try again the next day.

When I put in my 2 weeks those feelings amped up to 11. It was like everyone who was shit the entire time I was there decided it wasn’t enough and leaned into it. Like you got a heaven pass to leave hell and all the demons were pissed that you’re getting out and they have to stay behind so they claw at you the whole way out in hopes that you die before you leave.

Fuck hospitals, man.”

#3. Two weeks in a call center

“I worked for two weeks in a call center and the entire time I spent staring at my desk. I did this for ten hours a day because the company president was out of the office and they refused to get me setup with a password or let me browse the web etc etc.

After two weeks, I came back the following Monday, started my day and then with nothing changing, I just walked out of the building and went home. My car was broken down at the time, so it took several hours to get home.

Glad that is over and done with. No way I’ll ever work in another call center.”

#4. But damn

“Serving as a nuclear reactor operator in the U.S. Navy.

Cool job. Gave me lots of opportunities. But damn.”

#5. Burning pain

“The absolutly horrific burning pain of a urinary tract infection.”

#6. The real heroes

“Night shifts. To you out there doing it now, you’re the real heroes of the night.”

#7. PTSD

“I worked as a nurse for a psych hospital with no fucking security. I got PTSD from all he fights i had to get into. I’m still a psych nurse, but it’s much better.”

#8. Word

“Divorce”

#9. A done dissertation

“My dissertation. I would never want to do that again. The only good dissertation is a done dissertation”

#10. Here’s hoping

“Hubby went through chemo. Said if cancer happens again, he wouldn’t do chemo or fight it. But then he remembered he had kids, and was on the fence.

Here’s to hoping you don’t go through it again.”

#11. Sucking the energy from my soul

“Working in a restaurant. I spent ten years of my life in that business both serving and managing. Fives years and 40k in debt later, I finally just started my new career. No offense to anyone that works in the industry or truly loves it, but I came to despise the hospitality business. I could feel it sucking the energy from my soul..

Edit: For everyone asking, my 40k in debt is from tuition costs after earning my engineering degree, not from working in restaurants. It’s the best money I have ever spent.”

#12. Never again

“I carry a Taser for work. In order to pass certification, I had to take an exposure (get Tasered).

Never again.”

#13. Soul crushing

“I did ten years in a grocery store. It was soul crushing. I remember on my last day standing by the time clock with the people clocking in. When I clocked out for the last time I told them all I did not work there anymore and said my goodbyes. It was such a good feeling going to my car and driving away knowing I never had to go back.

Edit: For the people asking if I ever went back to shop there I did not. I live in a major city and the store was on the other side of the city. I go a store closer to my house. I got a civil service job and sometimes came by when I was on duty. I did work there ten years and I spent ten years working with some of the same people. I did keep in touch with a lot of people for a number of years after I worked there and it was nice just to stop by and talk with them again.

I worked there to pay for my college degrees and the pay and benefits were good and it was a flexible schedule.”

Here’s to moving on.

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