Category: Funny

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A Group of Angry Ducks Interrupted a Golf Game to Chase off an Alligator

It was a lovely day at the second annual Christie’s Critters Invitational on PGA National’s Champion Course when golfers observed a gator lumbering right out onto the green.

Image Credit: YouTube

Now, to be fair, he might have assumed he was invited, given the title of the tournament, but alligators should know by now that they’re definitely not welcome at human things unless they’re inside a deep fryer.

Image Credit: YouTube

It turns out the ducks felt the same way.

They followed the gator, quacking angrily. For a while he pretended not to notice, but eventually he headed for the fastest escape route.

Because ducks, man. They’re loud, and they don’t know when to quit. And they’ll bite you and stuff.

People online had plenty to say about the event (Florida jokes incoming!), and plenty of people also chose to hold the ducks up as inspiration – maybe even a real-life metaphor.

Image Credit: Facebook

Said like people who have never had to scrub duck crap off a dock, methinks.

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These 15 Memes Define 2019…So Far

That’s right! We’ve reached the point in Internet saturation where memes define our times – and you can’t live through 2019 and not nod and laugh at these 15, because they’re totally on point.

15. No one has all five.

14. We’re just disappointed.

13. Act my age.

12. Today’s tea.

11. Let me in.

10. Some of y’all.

9. Waves and AirPods.

8. Fyre Festival BJ face.

7. The Pelosi (hand) clap.

6. Buff bunny small bunny.

5. Y’all scared to moan.

4. You’re weak, Sasuke.

3. Driving in…

2. Due to personal reasons.

1. I don’t recall.

 

Stay tuned for the rest of the year!

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This Couple Rode Every Ride at Disney World – Without a Fast Pass

You’re probably asking yourself, ‘How did these two pull off this amazing feat?’ Well, we’re going to explain that to you right now.

If you’ve ever set foot on Disney World’s property, you know that you have to navigate a sea of humanity. It’s PACKED with people pretty much all the time.

But Shane Lindsay and Kristina Hawkins somehow managed to pull off the incredible achievement of riding all 46 rides at Disney World during a recent visit. And they did it all in 18 hours without FastPasses.

The couple knew the odds were against them, but they couldn’t resist. Lindsay started the Parkeology Challenge, a competition that calls for participants to ride every ride at the four Orlando theme parks (The Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Disney’s Hollywood Studios, and Disney’s Animal Kingdom).

Lindsay and Hawkins documented their stop on every ride on Twitter. They began their quest in the Magic Kingdom at 7:51 a.m. on a Wednesday morning and completed their excellent adventure just before closing time at 2:00 a.m. on Thursday. They said their longest wait was an hour long for Animal Kingdom’s Flight of Passage.

The Parkeology Challenge was created in 2014 and since then only 6% of the 325 teams that have dared to try have completed the mission. Lindsay and Hawkins have completed the challenge before, but this was the first time they did it without a FastPass or a MagicBand, which allow you to skip over those neverending lines of people waiting to get onto rides.

Hawkins said of the experience and resulting viral attention, “It’s mostly just Disney street cred, I would say. It was almost like we broke the internet, the Disney internet, everyone was freaking out.”

Impressive! A job well done!

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12 of the Funniest Tweets from Women This Week

The advent of social media has proven what women have always known to be true – they’re f*cking hilarious.

The 12 ladies below are just the funniest of the funny. This week, anyway.

12. Props to everyone who listened and accepted.

11. Girl same.

10. A cult leader from the 70s, yes.

9. Fair.

8. This is the truest.

7. I mean one of them has Channing Tatum. Just saying.

6. Definitely.

5. Answer: it can’t.

4. You do you bro.

3. Good luck pretending not to hear THAT.

2. Real life.

1. It’s funny but also I want this.

Goals!

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An Anti-Vaxxer Wore a “Jesus Wasn’t Vaccinated” T-Shirt. Here Are the Best Responses.

This stuff really makes me shake my head.

The anti-vaxx wars seem to be heating up, with countries around the world making them mandatory while folks on the other (non-science) side refuse to back down despite the fact that no one can come up with a shred of proof that the vaccines recommended for children are harmful in any way.

When one of them busted out a “Jesus Wasn’t Vaccinated” shirt, I don’t know….I kind of feel like she was just asking for responses just like these.

19. Or anyone else who lived in a world before microbiology.

18. What would Jesus do?

17. Some people just can’t pass up a good pun.

16. Listen up.

15. Details.

14. I’m sure that didn’t help.

13. I wouldn’t put that much faith in your immune system, but you do you.

12. We’re all a bit confused.

11. Are you sure?

10. That seems pretty specific.

9. Yeah people weren’t aware of germs for some time after Jesus’ life.

8. What even is logic?

7. No lying, either. God will know.

6. That seems like a good number of years.

5. There is that.

4. The smart ones are.

3. We can get behind this rule.

2. I’m guessing she can’t cure a ham, either.

1. Too steep a price for my babies.

Inspired, right?

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15 Funny Jokes for All of You with a Dark Sense of Humor

You know what I’m talking about – the kind that you know you shouldn’t laugh at, but there’s no way to stop it. If those are your bag (and you’re not worried about going straight to hell), these 15 are going to be right up your alley.

15. Did he mean like like?

14. More for me!

13. I feel attacked.

https://geckoes.tumblr.com/post/131063950007/me-god-why-dont-i-have-a-boyfriend-god-i-sent

12. I would read some fiction from teenage Jesus POV.

https://peetasallhehasleft.tumblr.com/post/93942817683/fartgallery-teenage-jesus-watches-as-his

11. Masterfully crafted.

10. Nothing to see here.

9. I don’t know why this is funny, but it is.

https://2wn.tumblr.com/post/100131409998/person-god-dang-it-god-it-has-been-danged

8. Amen.

7. Somebody had too much wine on Thanksgiving.

6. So say we all.

This bible verse always keeps me going from funny

5. *insert evil laugh here*

4. Just thinking out loud here.

3. Moved and seconded.

https://meaninglessmonicker.tumblr.com/post/131228791999/jesus-comes-from-a-shortening-of-the-hebrew

2. Infallible logic.

https://stephdamen.tumblr.com/post/69632586636/albinoblackman-when-jesus-is-born-i-get

1. The inquisition.

I’ll see you in hell, friends!

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11 People Share the Really Weird Things They Do

People are strange…

It turns out there are strange habits that many people have, and even though we don’t understand why, we’re compelled to continue the behavior.

Maybe it’s evolution, maybe it’s psychology, or maybe (most likely) it’s something we’ll never understand about the human brain – but whatever the reason, these 11 weird impulses will make you raise your eyebrows…or nod in solidarity.

11. Makes perfect sense!

10. We’re competitive by nature.

9. Because…you’re still not sure. Ha!

8. Stage fright!

7. This has to be some kind of evolutionary thing.

6. Because if you never see them they can’t kill you.

5. Same, but because I’m afraid someone died.

4. Okay but that’s just rude.

3. Never let your guard down.

2. Intermittent existential crises are normal.

1. You can be excited or depressed. Pick.

Good luck reining yourselves in out there, people!

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Zuu the Cat’s Expression Says “I Just Can’t Handle This Anymore”

There are any number of times when our faces surely say “Wtf I cannot with one more thing right now,” but I guarantee you, your face is less expressive for those situations than that of Zuu the cat.

He’s had enough, and he just wants to sleep.

Or have more coffee.

Zuu is an Exotic Longair cat, and he’s just a couple of years old. His owner, Chika, posts pictures of both him and his brother, Bocco (an Exotic Shorthair) on Instagram.

People are loving the pictures, probably because if people love anything more than cats, it’s cats who look as if they understand the human condition better than actual humans.

Seriously, it’s like looking in a mirror first thing in the morning.

If you’re thinking about grabbing one of these cats for yourself, know that they require daily grooming to keep the tear stains off their faces. Also, they’re so lazy that some, like these two floofs, prefer to be hand fed.

But I mean. Who doesn’t?

Just one more reason that I definitely want to come back as a cat, if those sorts of requests are granted.

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A Woman Canceled Her Baby Shower After Friends and Family Mocked Baby’s Name

Ahhhhhh, the joys of parenting. The feeling of holding your baby for the first time, or celebrating their first birthday. And of course the unconditional love you will always have for that child.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. First comes the name. Sooooooo important. Get the name wrong and your child could be facing a lifetime of bullying. For example, Waldo. I mean, kids will be pointing at him screaming, “I Found You” and every birthday they’ll receive a box of white and red striped shirts with matching hats. Ugh.

But get the name right and the stars will align for the little one into adulthood in which they will change mankind for the better….Okay, you get my drift.

That question: “Did you choose the right name?” is on the top of this woman’s mind. She chose the FIRST name of her unborn child to be Squire Sebastian Senator. That’s right. This is the FIRST name only. And her family and friends did not take the news well. So much so, she took to Facebook and canceled the baby shower.

Let’s run down the highlights, shall we?

“His name is Squire Sebastian Senator. That is that. You cannot force me to change his name. This is that name I was meant to give him. No, that is not his full name.”

This is true. It’s her kid. Her business.

“‘Squire Sebastian Senator’ is only his first name. This is how it will be. He will not be allowed to have a nickname, he is to be called by his full and complete first name.”

Sorry to his future friends, but there will be no Squi.

“We come from a long lasting family of both squires and senators. If you look back in our family tree, the survival of this clan is literally rooted in squiredom. We are all related to senators too. This name conveys power. It conveys wealth. It conveys success.”

Ok, lady. I feel ya now. There are history and meaning to the name.

“My baby’s name WILL be a revolution. It will push people to question everything. Why name your baby boring and over-used names like Joshua, Brian, Sam, Nick, Mark, Bella, Marina, etc… when you can name it something special.”

Pump the brakes, Bella is pretty damn special. Just ask Edward.

In the end, it’s none of my business what she names her child. I wish her the best and hope he is loved, cared for, and completely prepared to fill out lengthy bubble exams in school.

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People Share What They Think Screams “I Peaked in High School”

If you weren’t one of the “cool kids” in your high school, you probably remember looking at the really popular kids and saying to yourself, “Wow, they’re gonna be the kings of the hill forever…”

Annnnnnd then, about ten years after graduation, you see them and realize that some folks really do peak in high school. You know the type.

AskReddit users share what behavior screams “I peaked in high school.”

You’ll enjoy these…

1. Wow…

“Getting the score of the football game you won against the school’s rival tattooed on your shoulder.”

2. Still hanging around

“When I was in high school, this guy a year before me had a fearsome reputation. At house parties, people would fear him just by name alone. He would show up to parties with his cronies and start fights. He came from a decent enough family. Everybody wanted to be on his good side.

Anyway, he graduates high school, and most of us were still in 12th grade. I remember he used to come around lunctime to smoke with the people out front, shoot the breeze and talk about how much fun it is to just sleep in and do nothing and have all this freedom.

A couple of months of “Ohhh cool!” To, “Why are you still here?” as we awkwardly shuffled back to class.”

3. That’s not good

“I dated a guy with his high school mascot tattooed on his arm. It was such a turnoff.”

4. Still holding on

“A guy who graduated from my high school back in 2003 was arrested a few years ago for his 2nd DUI. He was wearing his Letterman jacket in his mugshot.”

5. I’ll buy the beer!

“Partying with high schoolers when you’re 30.”

6. Sad!

“At my ten year reunion, the prom queen came wearing a tiara with a custom “Queen ’03” sash over her shoulder. I had to go outside I was laughing so hard.

But I’ll be damned if she didn’t rock that outfit the while time, so, respect.

Still sad though.”

7. The King and Queen

“Billy Joel feels compelled to write a ballad about how you and your ex were the king and the queen of the prom, how the two of you married right after high school, and how it all went to hell from there. Bonus points if your names happen to be Brenda and Eddie.”

8. Nerds!

“Still bullying the “nerds” at your 10 year reunion.”

9. The good ol’ days

“Sharing EVERY memory from Facebook talking about the “good ol days” and “wish we could go back” when it’s only been a few years since graduation.”

10. How’s that working out?

“Dropping out of college to promote your pyramid scheme.”

11. Oh no!

“Me, in a horrid realization, in the back of my ’92 Camaro, while icing that knee I blew out at the championship game senior year, reading through the divorce papers.”

12. You guys wanna hang out?

“Selling pot to teenagers and then trying to get them to stay and smoke with you.”

13. Jeez…

“Filming yourself running drills and throwing footballs off camera in front of your van/mobile home.”

14. That is embarrassing

“The class that graduated before me had their ten year reunion last year and apparently a big fight broke out over something that happened when they were all still in high school. I guess that is one way to tell if someone peaked in high school. Pretty embarrassing.”

15. Still trying to live the dream

“Forcing your kids to be good at sports.”

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