You know the kind of people I’m talking about – your still friends on Facebook, probably so you can feel good about yourself – but it definitely seems like high school was the best years of their lives.

And well, if you’re worried that might be you, you’d better check this list of 15 signs it could be.

15. Sad.

At my ten year reunion, the prom queen came wearing a tiara with a custom “Queen ’03” sash over her shoulder. I had to go outside I was laughing so hard.

But I’ll be damned if she didn’t rock that outfit the while time, so, respect.

Still sad though.

14. I can see that.

I dated a guy with his high school mascot tattooed on his arm. It was such a turnoff.

13. Or in real life.

Still bullying the “nerds” at your 10 year reunion.

12. Fast times.

Selling pot to teenagers and then trying to get them to stay and smoke with you.

11. #bossbabe

Want to earn money from home and set your own hours?

E: thank y’all for the hella love. And sorry you all have had that ‘bestie’ (read: distant acquaintance) reach out to you with a desperate sales pitch.

10. A permanent reminder.

Getting the score of the football game you won against the school’s rival tattooed on your shoulder.

9. It might be time for a new jacket.

A guy who graduated from my high school back in 2003 was arrested a few years ago for his 2nd DUI. He was wearing his Letterman jacket in his mugshot.

8. Bless your heart.

We used to play indoor floor hockey in a loft room in the big gym of my middle school. One game I scored three goals, one of them being a bank shot off the wall.

The next year I wrote about the game for an assignment in English class and the teacher read it to the class the next day.

I’m not sure which one was my peak.

7. Stay cool!

Sharing EVERY memory from Facebook talking about the “good ol days” and “wish we could go back” when it’s only been a few years since graduation.

6. Technology doesn’t help everyone.

Filming yourself running drills and throwing footballs off camera in front of your van/mobile home.

5. Why are you still here?

When I was in high school, this guy a year before me had a fearsome reputation. At house parties, people would fear him just by name alone. He would show up to parties with his cronies and start fights. He came from a decent enough family. Everybody wanted to be on his good side.

Anyway, he graduates high school, and most of us were still in 12th grade. I remember he used to come around lunctime to smoke with the people out front, shoot the breeze and talk about how much fun it is to just sleep in and do nothing and have all this freedom.

A couple of months of “Ohhh cool!” To, “Why are you still here?” as we awkwardly shuffled back to class.

4. It’s just creepy at that point.

Partying with high schoolers when you’re 30.

3. Peaking, indeed.

Billy Joel feels compelled to write a ballad about how you and your ex were the king and the queen of the prom, how the two of you married right after high school, and how it all went to hell from there.

Bonus points if your names happen to be Brenda and Eddie.

2. That’s quite a moment.

Me,

in a horrid realization,

in the back of my 92 Camaro,

while icing that knee I blew out at the championship game senior year,

reading through the divorce papers.

1. Nothing new to talk about.

Some of the popular girls from high school still get together very frequently, and you see updates of it on facebook. I also keep in touch with some friends from high school, and I think that that’s nice. However, one of those friends of mine once ran into them during one of their get-together. He said hi and happened to be sitting not too far from them at the bar.

He said that all they did for the whole night, was talk about high school. They looked up old classmates on Facebook, laughed at them, called them names, looked at their spouses and called them names too. They still thought themselves the popular kids, as if they still had some sort of influence on all these people. Everyone has moved on, done interesting things in their life except for them. They’re just rehashing old drama and old rumors.

One of those girls had a small bit of success as a photographer in high school. She won a couple contests that were aimed at teenagers and her photos aren’t bad. Her parents turned this into a very big deal, her friends all wanted to be in her photos, and she was dead set on going to art school and getting the recognition she deserved. I don’t know if she never made it into art school or if she dropped out, but she definitely did not become a photographer. Instead, you see her launching some new startup business selling asinine live-laugh-love shit about once a year.

I know high school wasn’t golden for me!

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