Posted on by Matt Gilligan

15 Quick, Dumb Jokes to Share with Your Kids

Kids really love jokes. Also…kids are really bad at telling jokes.

Or, maybe they just love bad jokes.

Either way, there’s no way your little one is going to be able to stop a smile when you come home with these 15 (non) gems.

15. How do you catch a whole school of fish?

With bookworms!

14. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?

Sneakers!

13. Why did the pony get sent to his room?

He wouldn’t stop horsing around!

12. Why can’t a leopard hide?

Because he’s always spotted!

11. When will the little snake arrive?

I don’t know, but he won’t be long.

10. What do you call an old snowman?

Water!

9. What was the witch’s favorite subject in school?

Spelling!

8. How do mountains keep warm in the winter?

Snowcaps!

7. Why do fish live in saltwater?

Because pepperwater makes them sneeze!

6. Where do you learn to make banana splits?

At sundae school!

5. Why are ghosts such bad liars?

Because you can see right through them!

4. Why did the zombie stay home from school?

He felt rotten!

3. Why are writers always cold?

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I’ve been thinking about milestones this week. • How they’re more like drafts and less like finished pieces. • Working on a typewriter recently, I realized it involves a lot less whimsy and a lot more concentration than I first imagined. • The 7 drafts above (swipe left) all nod their heads in agreement. 🙄 • Margins don’t just appear. You can’t press the “Backspace” button to correct a mistake. Sometimes a little punctuating hammer won’t cooperate—I’m looking at you Mr. Dash.📛 👈🏼👀 • And life, as you know, dear chronic creatives has a lot more moving pieces and clunky bits than an Olympia Typewriter. • For me, high school lead to nursing assistance lead to college lead to dropping out lead to nannying lead to unemployed-ness lead to here, where I read and write and paint and take care of my body. Draft 7. • I take courage in knowing that it’s not that I’ve missed a milestone of graduating college or landing a dream job. It is simply that I’m drafting on scrap paper until it’s time to get out the nice stuff. • And you? Do you do drafts in your art? • 📃📄📑 • #chroniccreative #chronicillness #invisibleillness  #drafts #milestones #concentrate #typewriters #typewritersofinstagram #isthatevenathing #collegedropout #notashamed

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They’re surrounded by drafts!

2. What do you call a cow that cuts your grass?

A lawn moo-er!

1. Why do seagulls live by the sea?

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Fearless eyes // #NikonD5300 _____________________ What's up everybody? As I was in Rijeka (one of the bigger cities in the north of Croatia) I visitied the harbour and there were a lots of seagulls. The special thing was that they were so trustfully I was able able to come very close. These conditions made the close up picture possible. I posted some animal portraits before and I am happy to show you the next one now! Have a nice day and a great week as well! ✳ ✴ 📸 @el_be_photography ✳ Lens: Nikon Nikkor 18-105mm 1/800 sec. | f/13,0 | ISO 320 | 105mm _____________________ #el_be_photography #LBphotography #nikondeutschland #lifetime_photographers #seagulls #birdsofprey #birds_captures #animalphotos #animalovers #wildlifephotographer #lovefordetails #animalportrait #detailed #portrait_shot #nature_uc #visitcroatia #animals_in_world #closeup #birds_adored #nikoneurope #instanaturefriends_

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Because if they lived by the bay, they’d be bagels!

Okay, fine. I’m laughing, too.

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