Category: Funny

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15 Greasy Tweets About Fast Food

We all know fast food is pretty bad for you, but dammit, it’s delicious. Am I right or am I right?

Clearly, I’m on the same page as the people responsible for the tweets below, because they are not holding back. At all.

And I’m with them…are you?

1. Was it good, though?

2. Not mine, sir.

3. That’s how it works.

4. Judy wants the carnitas…

5. Might be a long day.

6. They do tend to add up.

7. These are for everyone.

8. It’s a classy joint.

9. Drive and don’t stop!

10. We all do this from time to time.

11. …And it’s working…

12. Make a pit stop.

13. Did he Super Size?

14. They knew you were classy.

15. I understand that Einstein was a big fan of their roast beef.

What’s your favorite fast food joint?

Mine’s a tie between White Castle and a chain in Kansas City called Taco Via.

Tell us yours in the comments! Let’s compare notes!

The post 15 Greasy Tweets About Fast Food appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Cats That Are Really Rude

The kitty cats in these pics are just flat-out rude. And guess what? They’re not gonna apologize for it, either.

Rude, crude, unrefined, and bordering on the out of control, these cats are.

Be prepared to shake your head at this mischievous kitties.

1. I “knead” you to stay out of the kitchen.

I just thought it needed more kneading from CatsAreAssholes

2. Diesel up to no good.

My wife and I are on our way to a wedding in Vermont and we pulled over on the highway to switch drivers and as soon as we got out our cat Diesel stepped on the lock button and locked us out. from CatsAreAssholes

3. Wasn’t having it.

4. That’s why you can’t breathe.

5. Not yours anymore.

6. Just go ahead and ignore it.

Glad I Bought Nacho a New Cat Bed… from CatsAreAssholes

7. Doesn’t seem like he cares.

I’ve been told this belongs here, and I’m inclined to agree. from CatsAreAssholes

8. Rampage in full effect.

She looked guilty for a split second, then continued on her rampage from CatsAreAssholes

9. Make yourself at home.

This is our kitchen. This is not my cat. from CatsAreAssholes

10. Don’t mess with Olivia.

My wife and our cat Olivia are in a constant battle for control of my wife’s pregnancy pillow. Yesterday, the cat won. from CatsAreAssholes

11. Now you know why.

So that’s why my kitchen floor is always wet. from CatsAreAssholes

12. Almost gave the friend a heart attack.

friend called me hysterical thinking my cat she was sitting had escaped… a few hours later he reveals himself (from a spot she checked) from CatsAreAssholes

13. He’s definitely taunting you.

This is why you dont tell your cat no from CatsAreAssholes

14. Bring those back!

Stealing my slippers every day from CatsAreAssholes

15. Thanks for nothing.

“Clean black work clothes? Don’t mind if I do!” Fluffy cats everywhere from CatsAreAssholes

Do you have a rude cat roaming your house and making a mess of things?

Share a pic or a story in the comments!

The post 15 Cats That Are Really Rude appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Newspaper Layouts That Really Blew It

Wow. Can someone tell me what the heck happened here?

Someone clearly dropped the ball in these cases of newspaper fails, and I’d like to speak to the editor (or the manager, just like Karen).

These photos might infuriate you if you have an eye for details…and order…and layouts…

1. Hmmmm….

I’m glad he’s ok from tombstoning

2. Creepy little puppy.

That sick puppy! from tombstoning

3. They’re all in complete awe.

Show her the real you from tombstoning

4. The duck is watching.

Does this count from tombstoning

5. Way to go, George.

I hope this counts from tombstoning

6. Looks like a bloodbath.

What he lacked in remorse, he made up for in appetite. from tombstoning

7. Get ’em, Serena!

She’s Got a Hell of a Backhand… from tombstoning

8. Off to a good start.

Start ’em young! from tombstoning

9. Can’t keep a pirate down.

You’re a crook, Captain Hook. from tombstoning

10. She looks harmless to me.

(X-post from r/crappydesign) An old favourite of mine from my local newspaper from tombstoning

11. Which way do you want it?

Make up your mind from tombstoning

12. Looking kind of rough.

Matt’s been having a rough time lately from tombstoning

13. Might be a little extreme.

Some methods more extreme than others… (OR: I finally found this pic a good home!) from tombstoning

14. Throw away the key.

It’s always the clowns! from tombstoning

15. Poor little piggies.

Honestly the ham was a little dry. from tombstoning

Major fails!

But also pretty hilarious, if I do say so myself.

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10 Songs with Lyrics That Are Darker Than You Probably Remember

Try to think of all the popular catchy tunes that played over the radio. You danced. You sang at the top of your lungs. But have you ever sat back and really listened to the lyrics?

Because some of these songs will have you wondering, “What the hell was I singing about?” And then you might never listen to them again, just on the principle.

Cause, creepy!

10. “Every Breathe You Take” by Sting

“I once thought it was romantic, but then I realized it was sung from the perspective of a deranged stalker. Weddings are weird now when this plays.”

—c4e574c24b

9. “Fast Car” by Tracy Chapman

“The lyrics are a lot sadder than you’d think. The song tells the story of a girl who’s stuck in a town taking care of her deadbeat father, and then escapes the town with a young man to start a better life. But then while she gets a job and raises their children, he turns out just like her father and drinks his life away.”

—MillieSH

8. “Semi-Charmed Life” by Third Eye Blind

“The song seems so happy and so cheerful, and I loved rocking out to it in middle school. Come to find out, it’s about crystal meth. To quote the lead singer, Stephan Jenkins: ‘Its a dirty, filthy song about snorting speed and getting blow jobs.’”

—kristab4a0d83b31

7. “We Are Young” By Fun. featuring Janelle Monáe

“There’s lots of drug references, but then there’s also a line that references domestic abuse.”

—betsym41875ce0f

6. “Hot Child in the City” by Nick Gilder

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

“It’s about an underage prostitute.”

—saraj7400

5. “Come on Eileen” by Dexys Midnight Runners

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

“I loved the song when I was young, but then I grew up and listened to the lyrics. It’s basically about a guy trying to talk a woman into sleeping with him by saying creepy things thinly veiled by nice words. Maybe even an older dude trying to trick a newly legal woman. Super catchy, and maybe I read into it wrong, but it seems so skeevey.”

—hallamichellem

4. “Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke

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#blurredlineslyrics #obsession

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“It’s pretty much a gross rape anthem.”

—tamarag4468b9feb

3. “Escape (Pina Colada Song)” by Rupert Holmes

Photo Credit: YouTube

“Basically the whole song is about how both parties are super bored and unhappy in their relationship, so they BOTH attempt to cheat, and when their date ends up being the person they were trying to cheat on, they think it’s funny and stay together.”

—Tcoker2605

2. “MMMBop” by Hanson

“It sounds like a fun catchy song, but if you read the lyrics, you find out it’s actually about how time eventually takes everyone away from us until we all inevitably end up alone. Cheery.”

—sarahclassick09

2. “My Sharona” by The Knack

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

“It seems friendly enough…so friendly, the administration at my elementary school used to blast it during our weekly outdoor lunch days. The most disturbing line is, ‘I always get it up from the touch of the younger kind.’ The song is essentially this guy begging poor Sharona to sleep with him. And all I wanna know is, how old is she?”

—CheliEmma1

Wondering if you should ever listen to these songs again? Me too. Me too.

The post 10 Songs with Lyrics That Are Darker Than You Probably Remember appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 People Shared the Times They Forgot Words and Had to Make up New Ones

What’s that word again that I can’t remember? What am I trying to say here…?

Do you ever have moments like this? You try and try to remember a word, but to no avail?

It happens to the best of us, but it can also be comedy gold, my friends!

Here are some really good ones that’ll make you laugh.

1. My arm calves hurt.

2. I’m looking for an opportunity.

3. Kind of sounds correct…

4. I’m always hungry for sleep.

5. That is amazing.

6. Let’s consult the time map.

7. That’s kind of poetic.

8. I like this one.

9. Those bad crime people.

10. Bailed out at the last minute.

11. The old flappy bug.

12. That was long-winded.

13. I’m going to start using this.

14. You can never go back…

15. That’s pretty bad…

Did you enjoy that?

I know you’ve had some of these experiences, so please share them in the comments.

Don’t hold back on us!

The post 15 People Shared the Times They Forgot Words and Had to Make up New Ones appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Accurate Tweets About Sex and Dating

Funny and painful. Kind of sums up dating and being in a relationship, doesn’t it?

That’s kind of sad, actually…

Sad, but true!

In the spirit of soul-crushing experiences, let’s take a look at some funny tweets about sex and dating. Yay!

1. Or maybe even 60…

2. It sure does add up.

3. Two sides of the coin.

4. You are not alone, my friend.

5. That’s a bummer.

6. Let’s go to the rankings.

7. Making all kinds of noise.

8. You might as well.

9. What a surprise that must’ve been.

10. Doing it all wrong.

11. That’s not a date?

12. She quit her job for YOU.

13. Is that good or bad?

14. Way to ruin the friend group.

15. I’m trying…trust me.

I hate to do this to you, but…please share some of your own awkward/painful/hilarious sex and dating stories in the comments.

We need to feel better about ourselves over here!!

The post 15 Accurate Tweets About Sex and Dating appeared first on UberFacts.

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Get in Touch with Your Inner Nerd with These ‘Lord of the Rings’ Jokes

Do jokes about The Lord of the Rings ever get old. The answer is NO. NEVER.

All I really have to say after looking these tweets over is…NERD ALERT!

1. We all did this.

2. Don’t F this up.

3. Name the book and the scene.

4. Are you listening?

5. The trilogy isn’t his fault.

6. Sean Astin is back, baby!

7. Riddle me this…

8. I have my reasons…

9. Don’t listen to Gollum.

10. That’s a great visual.

11. Nerd love.

12. Smart move, dude.

13. A historical/pop culture mash-up.

14. Now that’s a zinger!

15. A lot of people agree with you.

Nerds unite! Are you on board with these tweets?

See if you can one-up these jokes in the comments!

The post Get in Touch with Your Inner Nerd with These ‘Lord of the Rings’ Jokes appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 of the Funniest ‘What Idiot Called It…’ Tweets

Are you a “punny” guy or gal? Do you like to have a little bit of fun with words and language?

Then these tweets are definitely for you. There’s a joke that’s been going around for a while, asking “What idiot called it…” then punning your way into history. It’s one of those memes that unleashes all kinds of creative minds with hilarious ideas and responses.

Take a look and prepare to get wacky!

1. Trick or treatment.

2. I see what you did there…

3. Another gem right there.

4. Resisting a rest.

5. Ain’t that the truth?

6. Blue genes for the win.

7. I love this one.

8. Ring a ding ding.

9. Absolutely genius.

10. Thank you!

11. Go see the dogtor.

12. Crazy about the moon.

13. Climb on the boatercycle.

14. The work of a true artist.

15. And, let’s end with a real winner.

I must say, I am pretty impressed with this wordplay.

Do you have any solid contributions to this thread? Let’s see them in the comments!

The post 15 of the Funniest ‘What Idiot Called It…’ Tweets appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Tweets That Roasted Men

I think we know who’s winning the battle of the sexes…

Guys, we had it coming. You know how we can avoid this in the future? Stop acting like dummies!

And ladies, keep up the hilarious takedowns. We can all laugh at ourselves, right?

I think it’s safe to say the ladies came out on top this time.

1. That’s probably the case.

2. Not a good look.

3. That’s a lot of guys…

4. Not a chance!

5. Ouch…that hurts.

6. I’ve often wondered that myself.

7. And it shows…

8. Now, how does this work?

9. Is that wrong?

10. Keep your mouth shut.

11. Very, very true.

12. Gotta get that fully developed brain

13. Girls night.

14. A sad state of affairs.

15. Going way back for this one.

Oh ladies, you’ve done it again!

Share some of your sickest burns about men in the comments so we can keep the laughter going!

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15 Group Costumes That Won Halloween

Halloween’s almost here, and if you’re still scratching your head trying to think of a costume, here’s a suggestion: get some friends together and try a group costume! The benefits are many. It takes the pressure off you to come up with a costume for yourself. It shows the world that you and your friends do everything together, even the holidays. And finally, a group costume can elevate an otherwise mediocre costume into a great one. By yourself, you’re just a sad, lonely construction worker. But get some friends onboard and suddenly you’re a member of the Village People!

Here are 15 group costumes that you and your friends can try this Halloween. Some are punny masterpieces that even the anti-pun crowd will appreciate. Some are your favorite groups of characters from across pop culture. Some are just inventive and hilarious. You’ll agree: Halloween is better in a group.

 

1. The “Spice” Girls…literally!

Photo Credit: Bloomjoy Collective

2. Human Beer Pong

Photo Credit: Bloomjoy Collective

3. A Life Alert commercial

Photo Credit: Bloomjoy Collective

4. Robin Williams’s best characters

Photo Credit: Daily Dot

5. Shark Week

Photo Credit: Bloomjoy Collective

6. Your favorite emoji from your group text thread.

Photo Credit: Bloomjoy Collective

7. “Social” Butterflies

Photo Credit: Bloomjoy Collective

8. Sims getting out of the shower.

Photo Credit: Rfkirch

9. Snow globes from around the world

Photo Credit: Bloomjoy Collective

10. The characters from Mario Kart–and their carts.

Photo Credit: Bloomjoy Collective

11. A roller coaster

Photo Credit: Bloomjoy Collective

12. Google Maps

Photo Credit: Bloomjoy Collective

13. Taco Bell hot sauces

Photo Credit: Bloomjoy Collective

14. High school stereotypes

Photo Credit: kaylas40

15. Tetris blocks

Photo Credit: Bloomjoy Collective

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