Home Burglars Reveal 10 Things That Could Make You an Easy Target

No one wants their house to be broken into, whether you’re home or not. It’s happened to me, and the sense of violation alone is enough to make you want to take whatever steps possible to ensure you never have to go through that again.

And while knowing the main things a burglar is looking for might not be able to protect you 100% of the time, it can’t hurt to be informed, right?

#10. Your home is in a convenient location.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

If you live near a major highway or bus route, you might be in danger. Likewise, if you live on the outskirts of town or without close neighbors, thieves see a chance to spend some time without being seen.

#9. Your house is empty during the day.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Despite what Hollywood wants you to believe, the majority of burglars are looking to rob empty houses during the day, not houses the contain sleeping occupants at night. A career burglar might watch for a few days in order to try to determine a routine, while others might simply knock to see whether someone answers.

Timers on your lights and making your place look otherwise occupied (like opening the curtains during the day) could be enough to deter some, but unless you can quit your job, there’s not a whole lot you can do to fix a regular, 9-5 routine.

#8. You don’t have an alarm system.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

They really do work. If you can afford one, think about investing.

#7. You don’t lock you doors and windows.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

It seems like a no-brainer, but thieves will tell you that many people don’t check all of their locks before they leave the house. And while a determined burglar can break through a door or pick a lock, many will simply keep checking until they find one that’s already unlocked.

#6. You don’t have a dog.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

A dog might not deter a serious burglar, but someone looking for an easy score would definitely think twice. Also surprisingly, size doesn’t matter – thieves are just as wary of a small, yappy dog that won’t shut up as they are a big, menacing dog. Number one? Train your dog to be wary of strangers.

#5. Your backyard is easily accessed.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

A fenced in backyard – one that’s locked – can be helpful since many thieves prefer to break in through rear doors/windows in order to avoid being seen from the street.

#4. You don’t stop your mail on vacation.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

It’s a simple call, but if you don’t make it, anyone checking out your house will be instantly aware that you’re not home – and that you won’t be coming home anytime soon.

#3. You have a window air conditioning unit.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Houses and apartments without central air can be targets because thieves can remove it to gain easy access to your house.

#2. You make it obvious that you have nice things.

Do your best not to flaunt your wealth or your nice things from the outside. Don’t put boxes from new televisions, computers, etc out in the recycling, etc.

#1. One of your “friends” sucks.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

66% of burglaries are committed by someone the victim knows. They know your routines and they know what sort of stuff you own. It sucks, but it’s true.

The post Home Burglars Reveal 10 Things That Could Make You an Easy Target appeared first on UberFacts.

July 2, 2018

12 People Confess What Song Always Brings Them to Tears

You know you’ve got one, too. For me, it’s A Drop in the Ocean by Ron Pope and Everything Changes by Sara Barellies. Check them – or one of these 12 – out the next time you need a good cry in the shower (or anywhere, really)!

#12. Too many memories.

“If It Means A Lot To You by A Day To Remember

Too many memories I don’t want to remember.”

#11. Someone I love.

“All I want by Kodaline

Remindes me of someone I love before.”

#10. Melancholy.

“I’ll Follow You Into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie.”

#9. Hallelujah.

“Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley.”

#8. Tear trigger.

“Cats in the Cradle – Harry Chapin Lost my dad to a car accident early in my life. I have a wonderful life still thanks to my mom but this song automatically triggers tears and I can’t seem to quite rationalize why.”

#7. Heartbreak.

“For me its Terrible Things by Mayday Parade because my mom passed :(“

#6. But not the friends.

“Pictures of you by the cure. I have a few great memories and pictures but not the friends that go with them anymore.”

#5. It’s complicated.

“I Can’t Make You Love Me – Bon Iver….things are complicated right now in my love life.”

#4. A lot of pain.

“When i was like 7/8 I went to hug my sleeping dog basil who was about 14, he was a Rhodesian Ridgeback, anyway he bit me cause I think I must’ve woke him my mum took him to the vets cause she thought something was wrong and it turned out he had cancer, I can’t remember what kind exactly but apparently he was in a lot pain and we couldn’t even tell, so we had to have him put to sleep that evening. On our way back from the vets The Frays “How to save a life” played, it was first time I ever heard it now whenever I hear that song I always cry.”

#3. There were so many of us.

“Blink 182 – Adam’s Song

It’s sad, it’s emo, it’s teenage angsty bullshit. But there were so many of us that felt that way. And so many of us didn’t have anyone to talk to about it, and didn’t know how to properly cope with it. There didn’t really seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel.

This song made me realize how truly fucked up suicide would be, and the extent to which it would hurt everyone around me.”

#2. The best I’ve ever had.

“Maybe stereotypical and cliché, but Mad World.

“The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had”

#1. Relatable.

“How To Disappear Completely by Radiohead. Mostly while I was struggling with alcoholism and drug addiction. Since I’ve been clean and sober for 2 years now I only relate to it if I’m feeling particularly down or sad.”

The post 12 People Confess What Song Always Brings Them to Tears appeared first on UberFacts.

July 2, 2018

15 People Share What Helps Them Cope with Their Anxiety

For any number of reasons, anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses seem to be even more common these days. People are always looking for ways to cope (outside or in addition to modern medication) and these 15 people are ready and willing to share the mechanisms that have worked for them.

#15. Running.

“Exercise- I find running has helped me a lot and built up my confidence.”

#14. Just saying.

“Vodka, comrade.”

#13. Counting backward.

“Counting backwards in a foreign language and or basic math.”

#12. The happy painter.

“Watching Bob Ross! His voice is so soothing, and he exudes positivity. Wrapping up in a blanket, touching something soft, or running my hands under warm water also help. I also have a squeezable pineapple keychain with little popping eyes that helps me re-focus when I’m on the go.”

#11. Reaffirmation.

“Deep breaths when a heavy feeling is preventing me from breathing correctly. (Shallow panicked breathing) So countering whatever it makes me want to do.

I have to remind myself that not everything is the end of the world. Even if I might feel like it is. Even if I feel all hope is lost and everyone hates me. I can’t ‘indulge’ myself in these thoughts. They only spiral out of control if I focus on them.

I remind myself that I can do things and that no one judges me. (At least not as harshly as I do myself) No one wants to see me fail. No one would be happy if I disappeared out of their lives. If they didn’t want me as their friend, I wouldn’t be their friend. They don’t invite me to things out of pity. Strangers on the internet don’t automatically hate me. Written text is hard to convey emotion.

That are things I know I should do. I should tell myself these things but as you probably know. It’s not always as easy as this. Tbh I’m not the best at dealing with my anxiety. I panic very easily. And the feeling just drowns out any rational thoughts. But those reaffirmations is something I can do before the feeling drowns me.”

#10. Take a step back.

“Reframing the situation.”

#9. I’m golden.

“Weirdly enough, having a little mini breakdown helps a lot. I go home, go into the shower and freak out for a bit then all of a sudden I’m feeling a lot better. Add a game to that and some solitude and I’m golden.”

#8. Give in.

“Crying.”

#7. Creativity.

“Being creative helps me along with breathing exercises.”

#6. Temporary relief.

“Stretching. Doing a little, five-minute stretch session makes me feel a lot better. It’s relief is temporary, but it helps a lot and is easy to do.”

#5. It helps me so much.

“Something I have been doing recently is talking to myself. I get bad anxiety when I’m driving sometimes, so I’ll turn off the radio, focus my mind, and speak to myself out loud. Really try to believe what you’re saying. Instead of saying “you’re gonna be fine” try saying “you’ve dealt with this before and you know you will come out the other side.” It helps me so much to hear my own voice. It sounds silly and I’ll admit it is a bit strange, but dammit if it doesn’t help me a ton.”

#4. But also.

“Meditation, and deep breathing exercises. But also pharmaceuticals.”

#3. An important first step.

“Forgive myself for feeling anxious and then step back and work out how I got there and discard what isn’t valid and work through the emotions / feelings that are.

Forgiving myself is an important first step or I end up in a spiral when I get anxious about being anxious and so on.”

#2. Every single day.

“Meditation. Breathing exercises. Positive thinking. Not just for a week but every single day. Make it a habit. Set goals. Meditation in particular has helped me a lot. Also don’t be afraid to talk about it with family and friends. Just knowing that someone understands what you’re experiencing also helps.”

^{#1. You were ok.}

“Sometimes when I’m having a “there’s-no-hope/no-tomorrow” kind of episode, I remind myself about the last time I felt that way, then I ask myself a question. What happened between the last time you felt this way and now? You were ok. You were ok and you will be ok again. <3″

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July 2, 2018

10+ People Dish on Which Minimum Wage Jobs Should Pay Way More

There are a lot of jobs out there that most people wouldn’t want – and for some reason, the people who take them aren’t compensated very well for picking up the slack. I bet you can think of a few off the top of your head, but these 12 people had some pretty good takes on which ones deserve better pay and why.

#12. A pitiful amount of time.

“Care assistants that travel to the patients house usually in their own transport with a pitiful amount of time to spend with the patient and nearly zero time allowance to get to the next patient. They are also expected to lift patients in and out of bed or a bath which can lead to them injuring their back.”

#11. Very demanding.

“Childcare! You have to get CPR and first aid certs and do a bunch of technical training. You’re on your feet, moving and active all day (for older students nap time is a lie and they will try and come bother you about everything). You have to deal with sometimes upwards of 15 kids for 12 hours a day.

Amd you’re barely making $10 an hour. It’s a very demanding job.”

#10. A bonus every time.

“dishwashers should get a bonus every time they clean a grease trap!

#9. Pay may vary.

“Emergency Medical Technicians.

Granted, depending on the area/agency/company they work for, the pay can vary. However, there was a short period where I worked for one company who gave us “raises” to minimum wage after the minimum wage increased. We were making $0.50 above minimum, but the increase was by $0.75. So for quite some time, it was a minimum wage job.”

#8. Longer than expected.

“I’ve always thought minimum wage cleaning jobs don’t seem worth it. You don’t get that many hours and they expect too much in too little time.

#7. On quotas.

“Any retail job that has quotas you have to sell things by that doesn’t give commission.”

#6. It’s gotta change.

“Cooks. For what they are paid and what they can typically do job-wise, they are the most critically underpaid job-wise. What I find absolutely infuriating is guys who’ve been doing it for decades, even with certifications or degrees, still usually barely earn above $13/hour.

By cooks too, I mean non-fast food. I’m all for fastfood getting better wages, but actual restaurant cooks with refined skill sets are barely making more. I’ve watched my share of head chefs rapidly age and get beaten by the workload, causing them to drink, do drugs, smoke, etc…

It’s gotta change. Food is such a primal and basic need. We can’t underpay the people giving us good food, otherwise no one will want to have those jobs.”

#5. Someone’s life.

“Pharmacy technicians, pay them as much as fast food workers, even put in drive-thrus, but if you mess up an order, it could be someone’s life instead of their lunch.”

#4. Hardly a livable wage.

“Animal handlers at zoos. It isn’t minimum wage, but it’s damn near close to it.

These people get masters degrees in how to care for and handle these animals only to get paid a hardly live able wage.”

#3. I’ve literally saved people.

“Lifeguarding. I have literally saved people from drowning and am the most trained person on sight, yet i make 8 bucks an hour.”

#2. Truth bomb.

“All of them. Nowhere in the United States can a full-time minimum wage employee afford a modest two-bedroom apartment (here).”

#1. All while smiling.

“CNAs. They get harassed, bit, puked on, clean up poop and other bodily fluids all while smiling or at least being polite/friendly. They deserve way more than minimum wage.”

The post 10+ People Dish on Which Minimum Wage Jobs Should Pay Way More appeared first on UberFacts.

July 2, 2018

15 People Reveal the Piece of Conventional Wisdom They Think Is Total Crap

My personal pet peeve is the saying that “In the end it will be okay – if it’s not okay, it’s not the end,” largely because it’s total crap. But there are plenty of pieces of wisdom or common sayings that drive people mad.

Here are 15 people who shared the ones they think are complete baloney.

#15. Outdated advice.

“Starve a fever.

You need energy to power your immune response, don’t rely on 14 century medicinal advice.”

#14. Incorrect.

“There’s no such thing as bad publicity.”

Yes, there is. The notion that there isn’t is just a self-serving publicists’ lie; a way of saying that everything can be spun if you just hire the right publicist. But it’s just not true. Bad publicity can wreck careers, tank companies, cause bank runs, prompt suicides and murders.

No publicist in the world is going to get Harvey Weinstein’s career back on track; Theranos will never recover from Carreyrou’s pieces in the Wall Street Journal.

I think most people know that it’s not really true, but for some reason I keep hearing it said as though it were genuinely an axiomatic truth—as though being universally loathed were genuinely better than being unknown.”

#13. Not a good piece of advice.

“Live every day like it is your last one.” That is just not a good piece of advice”

#12. How many times.

“listen to your heart.”

No no no. Think things through rationally and do the right thing no matter how you ‘feel’. You know how many times I’ve had to get up to go to work or go for a run when my heart was telling me to go back to bed or eat chocolate in front of the TV?”

#11. Sometimes.

“‘Violence never solves/solved anything.’

Yeah, tell that to history.

Sometimes, a good swift ass-kicking is the only response on the table.”

#10. Do what you love.

“Do what you love, and the money will follow.” This is not true most of the time.”

#9. Not anymore.

“He only picks on you, because he likes you.”

#8. How about that?

“Finish your plate”. How about “stop eating when you’re full”.”

#7. Go get it.

“Good things come to those who wait.”

Bullsh*t, go get it.”

#6. The universe conspires.

“Everything happens for a reason. Well technically it does but that reason could be chance, mistake etc. Sometimes the universe conspires to collectively fuck you.”

#5. Idiocy.

“Most of the bullshit that comes from advice on dealing with ‘bullies’ at school.

Usually from people that clearly have never had to deal with bullying in any form. Some of the ridiculous ones I’ve seen have been along the lines of “Laugh with your bully, they’ll have no reason to bully you and leave you alone!”

Idiocy.”

#4. No means no.

“Don’t take no for an answer.”

#3. Except when you’re tired.

“Never go to bed angry.” Not all problems can be solved before bedtime and you aren’t required to accept someone’s b.s. because it’s bedtime.”

#2. Pyramid scheme.

“The US food pyramid.”

#1. Ok, so no.

“ignore the bully”

Ok, so no.

The post 15 People Reveal the Piece of Conventional Wisdom They Think Is Total Crap appeared first on UberFacts.

July 2, 2018

12+ People Reveal Their Deepest, Darkest Secret

Buckle up, friends – you may be about to read some things you can never unsee.

#15. I realize now.

“I was really horny, but my family was around so my solution was to go take a shower and choke the chicken in there. At the time I didn’t have a phone case on my phone since my previous one broke. I was getting pretty close standing in the shower so I went to set my phone in basket on top of the toilet where my wallet and stuff was, but instead I accidentally dropped my phone on the tile floor and the screen was completely shattered. I immediately realized I couldn’t easily explain this to my dad, so my solution was to finish my shower and get dressed, then go to the basement stairs and slip down the stairs and get scratched up and let my phone fall. I then went upstairs with my bleeding knee and broken phone and say I fell down the stairs, and that it broke my phone. I immediately got sympathy from my family and didn’t get in trouble. Nobody knows that I threw myself down the stairs and didn’t just slip. I realize now that I probably could have just said I fell, but at the time I felt I had to actually do it.”

#14. No one knows.

“I had a threesome with a couple i met online.

i was arrested last year and no one knows.

I cheated on my taxes.”

#13. I’ll never forgive myself.

“I blame myself for one of my best friends passing away. He lived across the country but I stopped talking to him when we both delved way too far into hard drugs and I blamed him for it secretly. A year later he was found dead and the last time I saw him I was barred out on Xanax. I’ll never forgive myself for that. I could and should have been there for him.”

#12. Religious disbelief.

“I would probably never consider myself an atheist, but I certainly don’t believe in many of the core tenants of my professed religion and I have very serious doubts about most of the others. The biggest problem is I’ve come to these conclusions only after recently marrying my very conservatively religious wife, and taking a job at said religious institution as a minister. I’m in a bad place right now.

Edit: Thanks a lot to everyone who has commented with advice, philosophy, and consolation. I have read every comment up to this point, and it has honestly put me a bit at ease to hear from you all. I’m going to turn off my notifications but I love all of the open discussion so feel free to continue commenting!”

#11. I find it annoying.

“I’m a mom but I hate being around other moms. I’m not even sure why but I find it annoying? I also hate talking about our kids all the time and nothing else.

Edit: I also have part of a tattoo that I secretly like even though I give people a bs excuse as to why I got it so I don’t seem like an idiot.”

#10. Just in case.

“My wife has a ceramic mug that she uses all day everyday to drink water. As long as I’ve known her she’s used the same mug. 5 years ago shortly after we moved in together, I found the same mug on eBay. That replacement mug sits in a bonx box at my office, just in case the day comes that I accidentally break the original.”

#9. Still ashamed.

“I was never fully potty trained until 7

I cringe at that every day.”

#8. Family secrets.

“I was molested by my grandpa from about age 5-9. I never told my parents or friends but did tell my therapist. I drunkly told my (also drunk) fiancé after about 2 weeks of dating but he’s never brought it back up. I don’t think he remembers. I don’t plan on telling him.

As payback, my step grandmother left me a diamond ring that just appraised for over $30k a year ago among other jewelry that appraised for about $5k. No one in the family understands why she left that to me and I’m not saying a word.”

#7. Extreme measures.

“I faked a seizure to get out of a wedding once.”

#6. Fantasy Al Gore.

“The very first time I ever touched myself in a sexual way I was in the 4th grade and fantasizing about Al Gore.”

#5. Someone knows.

“I have one testicle.”

#4. Small sense of satisfaction.

“I peed in my dad’s bottle of bacardi. He drank from it every night and was a raging alcoholic when I was younger. Anytime he acted like an asshole, I’d have this small sense of satisfaction in the back of my mind that no matter what he said or did, he drank my piss.”

#3. The last laugh.

“If anybody remember’s the toy “Sock’em Boppers”. Basically they’re blow up boxing gloves that are shaped kind of like lawnmower tires. They didn’t need to strap or tie around your wrist to stay on because at full inflation the hand insert was tight enough to snug your wrist.

Well one day I’m lying on the couch and my little brother decided to wack me in the side of the head with one when I wasn’t paying attention. His fun was cut short however: he immediately took off the bopper and lamented that it was wet inside the hand insert and that it stunk. Confused, he walked away.

I had been using it for a pocket vagina.”

#2. A light reminder.

“When I was 15 I tried to kill myself. My parents where out of town for the weekend and on that Saturday night i went into there medicine cabinet and took an ungodly amount of every pill in there (to this day i have no idea what i took) wrote out a long drawn suicide note, locked my door and fell asleep on my bed. Sunday morning my parents came home much earlier that i expected. I had left a small desk lamp on in my room and when my parents got home they tried to get into my room to turn off the light. I was obviously unresponsive and my parents freaked out so much that my dad broke down the door to my room. My dad shook me awake asking me a million questions angrily like why was the door locked, why I wasn’t responding and what was wrong with me. I groggily lied and told them i was super tired and didn’t feel good. They hesitantly believed me and left my room. When they left i grabbed the note and destroyed it. Went out into the living room and cried on my moms shoulder for what felt like hours. When she asked me what was wrong i just told her i had a really bad weekend and nothing else. To this day my parents joke about how i sleep like the dead, not knowing how close i was to actual death. I have never told my parents what happened that weekend, or how they unknowingly saved my life. To this day i still own that little desk lamp that i left on that night, and turn it on whenever I’m feeling depressed as a reminder that all you need is a little light to get you through the darkest of times. This was 16 years ago next month.”

#1. Painfully aware.

“I’ve lost weight in the past year and have been exercising and packing healthy lunches for work. My friends and coworkers comment about my weight loss and fitness level. But I dread my days off because then I’m home alone and I binge eat massive quantities of food and throw it all up. Multiple times throughout the day until my husband comes home. I’m an RN and I am painfully aware of how I am damaging my self.

Edit: holy shit, I did not expect this much support. I’m overwhelmed! I was sitting on the swing in my back yard with my husband and 3yo son when I switched accounts to share this. It physically hurt just to type it out and read the words. It’s heartbreaking to see how many others are suffering and hiding their own ED. I know I need help but I’ve always been the “strong” one in our family and I feel ashamed to admit that I am such a god damn mess. Thank you all for taking the time to reach out, its oddly comforting coming from total internet strangers ”

The post 12+ People Reveal Their Deepest, Darkest Secret appeared first on UberFacts.

July 2, 2018

12 People Share the Most Unbelievable Thing That Ever Happened to Them

Sometimes, things happen your friends won’t believe – like, if it happened in a book or movie, you’d roll your eyes because there’s no way it could happen.

For these 12 people, though, it definitely did.

#12. Within a month.

“I worked in steel shops for a while, this one day the foreman is lifting about 12 tons of steel beams with the crane and the block failed in spectacular fashion. The load came crashing down and landed about 8 inches from the operator. The poor guy shit himself and within a month all his hair turned grey. Had I not seen it all progress, I’d have never believed it.”

#11. He thought he was invincible.

“My great grandpa knew this guy in Germany; they were building this hotel or something (all i known is that it had multiple stories). Well the guy was plastered because they were drinking beers on the job, he was on the top floor and he ended up falling on the steps. He rolled down all of the stairs on every floor, as well as falling through the parts that were still being built. Everyone was positive he was dead, but he stood up and basically thought he was invincible.

After the incident, they all decided to go to a pub to celebrate. While they were there the guy got super cocky and decided to show everyone in the pub how he survived his fall. He had everyone stack all the tables on top of each other like stairs and decided to roll down it. He died instantly.”

#10. Never found.

“When my grandfather was young he owned a roadside motel, and my mother used to do work around the motel for the family. The building was old and they had bad pipes, so visits from the plumber were a fairly regular occurrence over there.

At one point they had a clogged toilet after a guest checked out, so they called the plumber to come and clean it out. The plumber came in with his bag of gear and set to work, but the clog was stubborn. After a few tries, he decided he needed to get the snake.

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a serious plumbing snake, but the big ones are a sight to behold. This isn’t a little crank auger, it’s a full-on electrical powered snake with a big motor on the back and a little grabby claw on the end.

So he fires up the snake and sends the metal coil down into the pipes with the claw closed, figuring whatever’s down there he’ll just bump it a bit, push it down the pipes until it clears – but this doesn’t happen either. Finally, in frustration, he twists the control to open the mechanical claw at the end of the coil, closes it on something, throws the motor in reverse and starts to pull it back up.

By now a couple of members of the staff have gathered in the room to try and figure out what the hell got flushed down the toilet that this giant machine couldn’t remove. The motor is really straining – you know that sound an electric motor makes when it’s working really hard? The whole machine is struggling to pull whatever this is back up through the pipes and into the room.

Finally, after an extended wait, the object is slowly dragged, sopping wet, out of the toilet bowl – and it’s a shower curtain.

The staff is dumbfounded. They’re trying to figure out how this could have happened. It would be weird enough if the guest had ripped the shower curtain down and flushed it down the toilet, but the shower curtain in the room is still there. It would be even weirder if the guest had brought their own shower curtain to the motel and tried to flush it down the toilet, but it’s clearly one of their shower curtains. Did they try and steal the shower curtain, leave with it, then feel guilty and come back only to find that the shower curtain had already been replaced, and then flush the shower curtain down the toilet to hide the evidence?

While they’re discussing this, the room phone rings. The person on the other end is screaming, hysterical, so it takes a few minutes for them to figure out that it’s the housekeeper who was cleaning the rooms. After a few moments, they manage to get the story out of her:

The snake had missed the clog entirely. Rather than spiraling down into the plumbing where it was intended to go, it had wound its way into the central line, and then back up the pipes in the room next door. It spiraled its way up, out the toilet bowl, and then started flailing wildly around the next-door bathroom like a Lovecraftian nightmare made of steel, knocking things off of shelves and clattering furiously around the room. Then, while the hapless housekeeper watched in horror, a metal claw opened on the end of it and snagged the shower curtain, ripped it off the bar ring-by-ring, spun it around the room until it was coiled tightly around the cable, and dragged it back down into the toilet bowl.

The actual clog was never found.”

#9. Too unbelievable for audiences.

“In the Jersey Shore shark attacks of 1916, which were a basis for Jaws, the attacks stopped after a hunting buddy of Teddy Roosevelt’s beat the shark to death with a piece of broken oar. Peter Benchley, and subsequently Hollywood, decided it was too unbelievable for audiences.”

#8. Saving the day.

“I was at the beach with my wife and kids. My teenage daughter got hit by a good size wave and lost her glasses in the surf. She was super upset as she’s pretty much blind without them, has no spare and we’re not going home for days.

I ran out into the surf to try and find them knowing it’s a total long shot. I search for maybe a minute, already about to give up because of how unlikely I am to find them when I spot them, dive into the waist high water and grab them, saving the day.”

#7. It wasn’t a dog.

“Not me, but my mom.

She got home from school as a kid, saw a big white dog on her porch, and went to ask my grandma if she could pet it.

It wasn’t a dog, it was an arctic wolf that escaped from the zoo.”

#6. IRL.

“If a guy named Weiner sent dick pics in a movie, I wouldn’t believe it. Yet, Anthony Weiner did that IRL.”

#5. Ironically.

“During the development period of Ridley Scott’s Gladiator, there was a scene written for the character of Maximus where once he’d become a famous gladiator he’d do a product endorsement for a brand of olive oil.

The reason for this was historical accuracy, gladiators actually did paid endorsements for products, however because the concept seemed so anachronistic the scene was dropped, ironically to improve the sense of historical accuracy.”

#4. Like nothing happened.

“I saw a mugger walk up to a 70 something year old lady and try to steal her bag. He grabbed it she tugged back and smacked him in the face with it and told him to go fuck himself and just continued walking like nothing happened.”

#3. He survived.

“Michael Malloy- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Malloy

Tl; dr, a known drunk in an NY bar had (unbeknownst to him) a life insurance policy taken out on him by some fellow bar patrons who conspired to kill him and to cash in on the policy. Their attempts varied from covering him in water and leaving him in a park to freeze, serving him a nail sandwich, hitting him with a car, and more. He survived five attempts on his life. I cannot imagine the look on the others guys faces when he just kept returning to the bar.”

#2. World goes to sh*t.

“The whole assassination of Franz Ferdinand fiasco. 1st attempt failed, went for a sandwich, target accidentally drives past you in an alley, world goes to shit.”

#1. The silkworm emerged.

“I use to be a logger out west and had an incident that was right out of a movie. We had just taken our lunch break and were working on a fairly steep hill. We had found a silk worm and a few of us were holding it during the break (has to do with the story). Another crew above us started working a few minutes before us and the few of us below were just getting out saws back up and about to move out. We suddenly hear a loud “ROCK” shout from above. An Indiana Jones size boulder had been knocked loose and shot out from about 30 feet above us.

The three of us below saw it and dove out of the way. It proceed to crash into out packs and shatter into two giant boulders and it kept on rolling. We started yelling “ROCK” in case anyone was down there and the boulders eventually hit trees and stopped near a level area. We went back to our packs and my buddies is completely destroyed. He had a pot in his bag that he used for lunches and it was smashed.

We started to clean up and the silk worm emerges from the smashed pot like nothing happned. It always reminded me of a Disney film, where the cartoons get hit with something that would surely kill it in real life but it just bounces back up.”

The post 12 People Share the Most Unbelievable Thing That Ever Happened to Them appeared first on UberFacts.

July 2, 2018

15 Parents Confess the Worst Thing They’ve Done in Front of Their Teenager

Parents aren’t perfect, and let’s face it – by the time you kid is a teenager, they are probably already well aware of that fact. Even so, I’m not sure some of these 15 kids were entirely prepared for the moment their parents did this.

#15. Just bemused.

“Went to my 12 year old son’s end of season dinner for his sports team, just an informal get together at a local family pizza place on a Friday night. One of the parents brought multiple cases of wine with him (wine salesman) and we all went a bit nuts. I don’t drink much these days so it hit me extra hard. Apparently when we were walking home I was hiding in the bushes then leaping out at random people pretending to be a Nosferatu type vampire and hissing at them. Hissing! My poor kid was mortified. Ps I’m a hobbit sized woman so the people passing weren’t scared by me, just bemused/annoyed.”

#14. Oh god.

“Not the parent but my boyfriend in high school was having a friend stay over and he forgot something at home and he went in to grab it and walked in on an orgy. We all felt so bad for that kid like… Oh god…”

#13. Never watched Tarzan again.

I woke up at night to grab some food, as I walked to the stairs I saw my dad crawling naked on the stairs making sounds like Tarzan on it’s way to my mom. never watched Tarzan again.

#12. We laugh about it now.

“My husband left us when my daughter was nine. I was single until last year when left she high school and went to college.

When she was fifteen she was supposed to be staying the night at a friend’s house so I had a friend of my own over. We got a little drunk and started hooking up on the couch and I got his pants down and he had the biggest rig I’ve ever seen in person. I went down on him.

And then my daughter came home early because her friend got sick. She walked in on me with this guy’s giant penis in my mouth and went “Mom what the fuck?! Holy shit!” and ran out of the room.

We were all mortified.

EDIT: Holy hell this blew up. No I don’t want to see your dicks. His size was only important to the story because it was big enough to make my poor daughter’s reaction go from mortified to just shocked, then back to mortified. No life isn’t a porn movie. She and I laugh about it now.”

#11. Folded up.

“Late, but funny. My girlfriends dad came home late after a night of drinking when she was a kid, didn’t know my girlfriend was having her friends for a sleepover. he stumbled in her room to give her a kiss goodnight and tripped over a cot in the middle of her room. he was confused as to why it was there, so he did the nice dad thing of putting her cot away for her. turns out there was a teenage girl sleeping in said cot that got folded up. Makes for good storytelling.”

#10. Home unannounced.

“Hope this qualifies: With our daughter away at college the wife and I would take advantage of many situations to do the bump-bump. One day I came home from work and I heard the shower running. I went into the bathroom and reached inside the shower curtain and pinched her ass. All of a sudden I hear this voice say, “what the fuck dad?” Apparently our daughter decided to come home for the weekend unannounced. I think I was more fucked up over it than she was.”

#9. The worst thing I could think of.

“The worst thing I could think of was my dad yelling at some guy that stole a parking space he was waiting for… this thread makes me appreciate having such a good childhood.”

#8. I got caught.

“I got caught masturbating. Didn’t hear them come in, they threw open the shower curtain to prank me. Couldn’t look ’em in the eye for a week.

Edit: The prank was the bucket of freezing cold water they were about to throw on me, not just ripping the curtain open to expose my shame.

Also, my top comment is about masturbating. Not sure if I should be proud or ashamed!”

#7. My stepdad’s fault.

“Kinda funny. When I was about 12, my mom threw a wooden cutting board at my stepdad. He dodged it, and the cutting board obliterated some super fancy antique set of spice storage jars my mom held dear to her heart. This was, of course, my stepdad’s fault.”

#6. Thought I was alone.

“Thought I was alone with my wife in the kitchen. Shoved my hands down her backside, started grabbing her butt like it was bread dough. Told her I was going to **** her until she passed out. We are into it and then I look up and lock eyes with my son. He doesn’t look traumatized or grossed out. He just starts laughing like it’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever seen. I’m telling you: two decades later and I’d still drop everything to grab my wife’s butt. She’s a hotty!”

#5. Guess what?

“My daughter was 17 when this happened:

An old friend called me and wanted to hang out so I said sure. I’m not a drinker but occasionally I’ll smoke weed. Until then I’d only smoked out if pipes and occasionally a doob. My friend handed me this weird looking pen thing and thinking it would be like a normal high I hit it hand three times pretty hard.

This wasn’t like smoking a doobie.

I was the highest I had ever been and my friend saw this and took me home. It happened that my daughter was home (summer) when I got through the door. I went directly to my room thinking I could just sleep this off. Unfortunately I am one of those people who gets ravenous when I get high and I was in no way able to cook anything. So I’m thinking about what I had in the kitchen and my brain flashed on cornbread. I could make cornbread. It turned out I couldn’t and I gave up after mixing the ingredients. So I’ve got raw cornbread mix and I’m really God damn hungry so my messed up brain just says “Fuck it. Eat the cornbread.” And I did.

About halfway through the bowl my daughter comes in the kitchen. There is no way in hell I can hide eating uncooked cornbread so I looked at her and said “hi! Guess what???” Her answer ? “Mom, I know you’re high.”

The story is not over.

An hour later I’m still high watching YouTube. I happened to be watching something like this (https://youtu.be/rGOOlcdpfLg). My daughter is crazy talented with makeup. I am not. She already knew I was stoned anyways so I asked her to give me a makeover like that. She did but it turned out terrible. The reason it was so bad was because I turned on my webcam just to watch transformation during the process. I could not stop laughing at how ridiculous I looked the longer she spent on my face which made her laugh.

She still gives me shit about 5 years later.”

#4. Could not stop laughing.

“Going to a movie with my 15 year old, getting out of the car I turn just wrong and twinge my back. She asks whats wrong and I say “I threw my back out humping your mom last night.”

She is looking at me like a deer in headlights, and I cannot stop laughing, which incidentally did not help my back.”

#3. Just any man.

“Friend was the parent. Found him in complete shock saying he was trying to stay calm, but knowing he’d just messed up with his teenage daughter.

Before breakfast at the start of what was going to be a non-stop busy day he decided to shoot a foreplay text to his girlfriend about some kinky thing he was going to do to her that night.

At the table he decided to sneak it in while his daughters went into the kitchen to grab the food… only he accidentally sent it to one of them… and it notified on her phone as they were walking back to the table.

He said the girls sat, and the one asked why he just texted her. He said “hmm?” – as he quizzically watched her eyes process what she read, look at him with betrayal, and then his heart slammed to a stop.

He realized what happened too late, or he said he would’ve dove across the table and knocked the phone out of her hand.

Cue a profuse apology and long address to many tearful questions about how daddy wasn’t lying that every man should respect women – it’s just that some women want to have certain things done and said when it’s only supposed to be a private matter between two consenting adults.

She now is over it, but from then on he went from being her hero, to just an any man.

Edit: for clarity”

#2. Nothing to see here.

“This happened to my husband. We had a whole gaggle of teenage kiddos over at our house one Friday night. My husband had a few beers, and then snuck off behind the garage to have a smoke. He doesn’t smoke in front of me since I quit. He had bummed a really strong cig, and it made him super dizzy. Just as he was keeling over, a group of teenagers came along the path just in time to see him fall over onto the lawnmower. He pretended to be getting ready to mow, which made them howl with laughter. They still talk about “that time Dad fell and tried to cover it up by saying he was going to mow at 11pm”

#1. A pony named Speedy.

“Shit I am so late to the party, but ..

My dad always tells the story of when he was 6 or 7 and his father (my grandpa) came home from a rowdy night of drinking. My dad says my grandpa sidled slowly into the kitchen with a rope in his hand and my grandma, who was sitting at the kitchen table, asked what he had done.

He then led a miniature pony into the kitchen.

The pony was named Speedy, he bit like a motherfucker and would never let anyone ride him, and one day he ran off. They lived around a lot of farmland so we like to think someone took him in and got the devil out of him.”

The post 15 Parents Confess the Worst Thing They’ve Done in Front of Their Teenager appeared first on UberFacts.

July 2, 2018

Chrissy Teigen Kept It Real About Motherhood Even on Father’s Day

The majority of mothers (and humans in general) love the fact that Chrissy Teigen (and John Legend) keep it real online when it comes to the realities of relationships, parenting, and parenting while trying to maintain your relationship.

Example:

Photo Credit: Twitter

After the birth of their second child (a boy!) Chrissy and John were on their way to a Father’s Day dinner…but, as this image showed, not off duty.

Photo Credit: Instagram

And people love them for keeping it real about how mommies are never really off duty. Not for a few decades, at least!

The post Chrissy Teigen Kept It Real About Motherhood Even on Father’s Day appeared first on UberFacts.

July 2, 2018

This Twitter Thread Will Educate You About Vaginas

Considering the fact that 50% of the population owns a vagina and a good percentage of people who don’t will have concerns related to a vagina at some point in their lives, it’s truly amazing how much people don’t know (or don’t want to discuss) about the female-owned organ.

Proof? Women still buy douche and wear fancy panties every day of their lives.

But Twitter user Alison Pool is taking us all to school – and trust me, you’ll probably learn something before she’s done!

tl:dr: Vaginas are like self-cleaning ovens. Don’t mess put cleaning products in them, let them air out once in a while, and if they appear broken, go see a professional. Oh yeah, and always pee after you have sex. #glam

And so it begins.