Husbands Share the Moments They Said to Themselves, “I’m so Marrying This Girl”

Marriage and family has a way of sucking the romance out of the best relationships. It’s nice to think back and remember the moments when it was all new, and when you were struck dumb by the total awesomeness of the person you now get to argue with over where the proper place to clip toenails is for the rest of your life.

And these dudes are ready to make you believe in love all over again as they tell the story of the moment they knew their wife was going to be the one for them forever.

16. Been there. Did not buy the t-shirt.

She was spending the night at my place and woke up about 3 am in severe discomfort. Over an hour she started to hurt worse so I took her to the ER.

At the ER, she was screaming in pain but they wouldn’t give her any pain meds without first doing a pregnancy test. Of course she went to the bathroom while I was registering her, so she didn’t have anything to give.

It was while she was in the room in the ER, miserable in pain and waiting for the pain meds to kick in that I realized I really cared for her and wanted to make our relationship more permanent.

It turned out that she was having a kidney stone and not an alien chest-burster. She struggled with that problem for years until we find the cause.

Bonus: I met her mother for the first time that morning. On one hand I hate the circumstances, but on the other I’m glad I was able to show I could take care of her daughter.

EDIT: In a strange Reddit twist my most upvoted comment is about how much I love my wife. Today happens to be her birthday so please help me wish her a Happy Birthday!

15. You have to be able to laugh together.

Lost my car in a parking garage after I bungled the night by forgetting my wallet on a fairly expensive Italian dinner date.

I was embarrased and mortified.

I just wanted to cut my losses and get home. I was really trying to impress her and literally anything that could go wrong did.

To cap the night off I forgot where I parked my car because I was flustered from everything that had gone wrong.

After 20 minutes or so of me running around this parking garage, going level to level, running hand in hand. I could feel her glare and and annoyment on the back of my neck. It was growing. I could feel her quietly thinking “well, this was the worst date I’ve ever been on.”

The humiliation finally overcame me and I stopped and turned around. Maybe to appologize profusely, I don’t know, still don’t know. I was preparing myself for that look on her face.

She was smiling.

She started to laugh. Not at me. But with me, ..without me. Almost inviting me to laugh with her about this poor bastard’s luck.

A large wave of relief washed over the dreadful evening.

We stood there on level 2 of the Newport on the Levee parking garage just laughing.

I knew at that precise moment that I wanted to marry her.

6 years later, we are married with two kids.

When we gave our vows, we both unknowingly had written of that exact night in Newport and that exact moment.

I think perhaps for me, I had fallen in love before, but with her.. I never wanted to fall in love again.

14. Lucky in puppy love!

When I was 16, an insanely hot girl messaged me on Myspace (yeah, I know) because we had mutual friends and she thought I was cute. We hit it off, started dating, and a few months later I left her in Texas to go on a trip with my family to see my grandparents in Indiana.

It was the first time we’d been apart for more than a day or two since we’d been together, and the separation was brutal for a pair of teenage love birds. We spent almost every night of that trip talking on the phone until 3 or 4am, laughing, telling each other secrets and sharing our hopes and fears for the future.

She was brilliant – talking to her simultaneously felt like I was going on a big adventure and I’d found my way home all at the same time. That was the first time I’d ever felt like every minute spent away from her was a complete waste of time, and that feeling never really went away.

We’ve been together 12 years now, and just celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary.

Sometimes you get it right on the first try, folks.

13. When she just goes with the flow.

I asked my husband, who is too lazy to get his computer and post, so I’ll relay his answer.

It was actually during the trip that he proposed to me on, which I was clueless. We lived in Ohio and had flown out to Colorado to visit with my parents, then we were going to all load up in a car and drive to his parents in Utah. We take the scenic route because my mom wanted to check out Black Canyon of the Gunnison and do a little hiking there. We hiked to the bottom and saw the river, it was beautiful, it was the hike back out that was killer. Us OH people are just dying from the altitude difference, mom and step-dad go on ahead while we try to breathe. During one of our stops he sits on one of those rail-road ties they used to line parts of the trail, I lean against a tree further up the trail. He suddenly stands up and yells “snippybitch, run!” I fucking ran. I didn’t ask why, I didn’t even look to see what he was doing, I just booked it.

There was a beehive under that tie, and he pissed them the fuck off. He only got stung twice, we actually caught up to mom and SD who then also ran for a bit. I thought my lungs were going to die.

It was the fact that I didn’t question, I just ran, that’s what made it for him.

I do find it funny that this is his answer even though he already had the ring. I don’t know, he’s a strange one!

12. When it just makes sense.

I don’t remember a moment. We were childhood friends, and knew each other really well. We started dating after high school, but after a year I moved away for two years. We wrote each other letters every week, keeping them short and friendly. Something I won’t mind sharing with my kids in the future.

When I moved back to the area I wanted to do a big road trip to see my family but didn’t want to do it alone. She ended up being the only person available and with less than 24 hour notice was ready to hit the road. It was a blast of a trip, and everyone kept asking when we were going to get married. We hadn’t actually started actively dating again, and things were pretty platonic at that point, so we just shrugged. After the road trip we spent a massive amount of time together and it just made sense to propose to someone that was and is so special to me.

Three months later I proposed.

Edit: Oh, and she said yes. I proposed at her favorite ren faire, but kept it private and simple because I knew she would have hated all eyes on her. I told her I didn’t want a long engagement, and that a one year engagement felt right to me. 360 days after I proposed we were married, and we have been married for nine years now.

11. A little confidence goes a long way.

We had been on a few dates and it was my birthday. She asked what I wanted for my birthday. I sarcastically suggested a 12 pack of beer, a box of condoms and her in that tennis skirt I saw her in on Facebook.

Sure enough, she showed up to my apartment with a 12 pack, condoms and wearing that tennis skirt.

I had dated a lot of high maintenance girls who weren’t all the comfortable with themselves in a lot of ways. I knew from this she was way different.

I would come to find out she was a goddess in a lot of other ways too. But seeing her in the door way looking every bit the dream for my birthday made me know she was definitely a keeper.

10. That’s real devotion.

She traveled 2 hours by bus and train to see me on my half an hour lunch break. We’re due to be married in 3 weeks.

9. Insert some joke about it being the same thing.

She asked if I would move to Boise, Idaho with her, and I thought, I’d move to Hell to be with her.

8. That’s how my mother knew I was in love the first time.

Her boss messaged me to tell me she knew when my (at time girlfriend) was texting me, opposed to anyone else, because she would be smiling.

Then her mother told me the same thing a few days later ?

edit: Her (now ex boss) is a good friend of ours, and was at the wedding!

7. Cheeseburgers and cursing. So beautiful.

First road trip together. We stoped for food and I ordered multiple cheeseburgers. I was driving and without being asked she unwrapped and handed me my burger. As soon as one was done she had another one ready. I realized then that some people are genuinely considerate and kind. Also the first time she called someone a cuntbag.

6. That’s a make or break moment right there.

She went to ‘hop’ on the bed, miscalculated how springy it was, bounced off and got stuck between the bed and the bedside table. Upside-down, legs flailing in the air. She couldn’t free herself, and I was too incapacitated with laughter to help her for a good 5 minutes.

5. Words are overrated.

When I realised this was the first woman I could look in the eyes and not feel like we had a awkward silence. We just started at each other like it was the last thing we would ever see.

P.S. I’m not married but will be asking her this January. Already got the ring. Wish me luck ?

EDIT:

Everyone who asked for a update here it is. She said yes!!!! ?

4. Sometimes you just feel it!

Being with her was (and has been, going on 20 years in 2018,) effortless. There was no drama, no having to explain my jokes, my references. She was as nerdy as I was and am. It just occurred to me that we should marry.

So, I started saying in conversation “When we get married…”

Almost 20 years later we’ve been married almost 18 years. We’re still very passionately in love, and it just keeps getting better.

3. Sounds like the perfect reason to marry someone.

She was driving us back from a great camping trip with friends. My mind was wandering and I thought, “You know, I wish I could do rad shit like this with her forever.” Then I thought, “That sounds like a marriage… HEY!”

I looked over at her, she glanced at me and smiled back.

I then put together a plan; I ask her to live with me in 6 months when her lease is up, after a year if shit is still good I’ll ask her to marry me.

I did exactly that. We’ve been married 4 years and have an 8 month old.

2. This is like something out of a romcom!

We were playing Trivial Pursuit with friends, and were in a team together. The question we got was “Who was the 26th President of the United States?” I figured it was my chance to impress her by counting off all the Presidents in order to count to to 26, so I started. She jumped right in with me, and got up to Teddy Roosevelt faster than I did.

It was the perfect realization that her nerdiness and personality matched up perfectly with my own. When we got married, we had a picture of Teddy Roosevelt on our table at the reception.

1. This one made me a bit teary-eyed.

We had only been dating for three months, so still some awkwardness here and there. I was working an outrageous amount, and I got phone call that one of my very good friends had just died in a car accident.

I don’t really remember walking there, but instead of my apartment, I ended up at hers. She opened the door to her new boyfriend half-ugly-sobbing.

Instead of being (rightly) weirded out, she listened and cried with me for a couple hours.

The friend who died was the one who had encouraged me (for like six months) to ask my now-wife out. My friend never knew the impact she had.

My wife and I have been married for eight years now.

I love these stories! I’m going to make my husband tell me his as soon as I get home.

What’s the tale of how and when you knew your partner is the one for you?

Please tell us in the comments – I want more!

The post Husbands Share the Moments They Said to Themselves, “I’m so Marrying This Girl” appeared first on UberFacts.

Parents Share the Things They’ve Let Their Kids Destroy So They Could Have Some Peace

As a person who just really, really wants 10 minutes in the morning to catchup on the news, drink hot coffee, and generally be left alone, I feel this topic on a visceral level. You would not believe how much television my children get – or how much I do not care what cabinets they are emptying – in exchange for these moments.

My husband is regularly annoyed, but y’all. How am I supposed to keep them in any sort of line the rest of the day without coffee? How am I even going to get through breakfast?

I’m not. And so, the terror continues.

These 10 parents know my pain, and are sharing their own sacrifices for moments of peace.

10. I’d go with the screen time, myself.

“My husband is [strict] about screen time. I go away to run errands and come home to crayons all over every wall.

He literally just watched him draw on the wall because it was easier than not.”

– Claire G.

9. Long road trips with toddlers are battle conditions.

“On our first road trip, I let my 2-year-old color all over herself in order to make it through the last few hours of the drive.”

– Kelly L.

8.This happened to me, but sunscreen.

“My older son got a tin of butt cream and smeared it all over himself and the carpet when I went downstairs to throw the laundry in.”

– Susan B.

7. When you are that sick, all bets are off.

“Just this past weekend I was diagnosed with the flu and let my 7-year-old do some ‘gem kit’, which [resulted in] sand and hammer marks all over my dining room table and floor.

BUT there was peace for two hours. Sand vacuumed up, table now has character marks.”

– Jill B.

6. The rest of the passengers thank you for your sacrifice.

“I spent many flights letting my son cover my face with painters tape.

I thought he’d like to stick it on the tray table or arm rests or something, but no, my face was the target and I willingly participated for hours of a happy quiet baby on a plane.”

– Christina P.

5. You gotta do what you gotta do. They’re just Doritos.

“I had a stomach bug when [my daughter] was maybe 18-months-old, so still very small.

I usually fed her super healthily but that day I gated off the playroom, gave her a party size bag of Doritos and let her have her way with it. I dozed on the floor, waking occasionally to vomit and see how many more orange hand prints had appeared around the room.

Absolutely worth it.”

– Kathleen K.

4. At least he’s not wasteful.

“My oldest emptied an entire box of tissues while I was taking in groceries from the garage… then shoved them all back into the box again”

– Mara H.

3. Just buy the cheap kind.

“Boxes of tissues.

Sometimes pulling all the tissues (or wipes) out of the container and ‘cleaning’ will keep my 2-year-old busy for so long — totally worth it.”

– Stephanie B.

2. Ooh, this one is brilliant.

“In the warmer months, I’ve put my (now) 2-year-old twins [safely] in the front seat of my parked car… with water bottles, a bag of Goldfish, the windows down, and me sitting outside the car with music playing on my phone.

They love pushing all of the buttons and hollering out the window at dogs and cyclists.

Nothing a vacuum and button reset can’t fix later.”

– Kristina S.

1. I have let my son drench himself with the hose so many times.

“I let my son soak himself at church yesterday because he found a step stool and a water fountain.

He played for 20 minutes and I’m sure he drank some of it, and the rest assisted in keeping him clean.

Which is good because he was too tired for a bath last night!”

– Beth H.

I am not ashamed. In fact, I will do this again tomorrow and also the next day!

What are you willing to let your kids do as long as they’ll leave you alone for 15 or 20 minutes?

We want your confessions in the comments!

The post Parents Share the Things They’ve Let Their Kids Destroy So They Could Have Some Peace appeared first on UberFacts.

Toddler-Friendly Board Games Perfect That Are for Your Next Family Game Night

One of the things I looked forward to when learning I would be a parent was instituting a family game night once a week, so I could train my littles to be as nerdy as their parents.

Soon, I realized that toddlers are not really made for rules and sitting still and also they don’t understand concepts like winning and losing, and I became disheartened with the entire concept. Take heart, though! There are some games out there that are just made for families with toddlers.

So if game night is something you’d love to do in your house, may we suggest these 10 games for your next try.

10. Candy Land

Image Credit: Amazon

There are a few classic’s on this list, and you know you’re dying to introduce your kids to this game you loved growing up.

Since there’s no reading required and a colorful board to boot, there’s a good chance your toddler will climb right on board (heh).

9. Feed the Woozle

Your toddler’s motor and counting skills will benefit from feeding the monster with silly snacks, and with 3 levels, your kid won’t get bored for a while!

8. Bubbles Up! Crabs Down

Image Credit: Amazon

This ocean-inspired game teachers your kid to work like a team as their imagination runs wild.

7. Sneaky Snacky Squirrel

There’s no reading required here, the rules are simple, and everyone loves helping an adorable squirrel – even toddlers.

6. First Orchard

Image Credit: Amazon

Decades old but still going strong!

This game only lasts about 10 minutes (as long as your toddler’s attention span) and they’ll learn colors and counting as they harvest their fruits and vegetables.

5. Hi-Ho! Cherry-O!

A numbers game with a twist, and the spinner is always a hit with the littles.

4. Busytown

Image Credit: Amazon

This game is very engaging, promotes attention to detail, teamwork, object identification, and matching skills.

Even better? Each round is a new experience, so you’re less likely to hear the dreaded “B” word (boredom!).

3. Hoot Owl Hoot

The simple strategy of following directions and taking turns to match colors and send the owls back to their nest is a sure winner.

2. Pete the Cat’s The Missing Cupcakes

Image Credit: Amazon

My toddler loves Pete the Cat, and if yours does too, there’s a good chance they’ll also love singing songs, acting out activities, identifying animals, foods, and words.

Oh… and finding the missing cupcakes, too. ?

1. Let’s Feed the Very Hungry Caterpillar

A game of counting, collecting, and building will transform that hungry caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly – just like in their favorite book!

I’m definitely picking some of these up, because it’s worth a try. I want to start ’em young, after all.

Have you played any of these with your kids? Do you have games that have worked great for your under-4s? Please share them with us in the comments!

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Here’s a Hack for Helping Your Kid Learn to Tie Their Own Shoes

My oldest child is 3, and I’ve been wondering how many years I have left of tying shoes (or buying ones that close with hooks and loops). Apparently, it’s still a while down the road for me, but if your kid is ready but still struggling to master tying his or her own shoes, here’s a pretty genius hack for making it happen sooner rather than later.

Check it out!

“My name is Colton and there’s a new way to tie shoes,” the 5-year-old says in a video before showing the world how he learned to tie his sneakers from a friend at school.

Image Credit: Facebook

Kids struggle to tie their shoes mostly because their fingers aren’t big enough to hold the loops shut while they tie the shoes – they can either tie the knot or maintain the loop, but not both at the same time.

But the way Colton does it eliminates the problem completely.

Image Credit: Facebook

Instead of trying to hold the loops shut with his fingers, Colton sticks the end of the shoelace into the top lace hole, holding them in places while he ties the (double) knot.

Then, he pulls the ends free and goes about his day!

Shoe Tying Trick!

"Coolest shoe tying trick ever!!! Posting to help anyone who is struggling like we were! Feel free to share." ❤Support our mission by pre-ordering our book in time for Mother's Day: http://bit.ly/2pHwXGl ❤#LoveWhatMattersA Love What Matters Original Video Submitted by Ashley Lillard

Posted by Love What Matters on Monday, January 23, 2017

The video was originally posted on Love What Matters’ FB page and has been viewed over 7 million times.

I’m in no hurry for my littles to become bigs, but since it’s going to happen eventually, I’m going to keep this little trick in my back pocket.

How did you teach your kids how to tie their shoes? Share it with us in the comments!

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Putting A Leash On Your Kiddo Might Have More Upsides Than You Realize

There are a bunch of things I said I would never do as a parent before I became one – and one of those things is putting a leash on my kid.

I mean, from the outside, it just looks sort of degrading, doesn’t it? Like you’re treating your precious baby like an animal? Or perhaps like you’re unable to keep track of your own child, like maybe you’re too busy looking at your phone to keep tabs?

Believe me, I had all of those thoughts as a non-parent, but now that I’m the proud owner of not one, but two toddlers, I can tell you two things for sure: they’re faster than you would believe, and the fear of losing them in public is bring-you-to-your-knees terrifying.

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#childleashesofinstagram #mallgoth

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And hey – it turns out that using a leash might not warp them forever, either, according to child therapist Brooke Sprowl.

“As a child therapy expert, my sense is they don’t cause any real psychological harm and that our strong reactions to them are more about cultural norms than about any actual or lasting effects on the child’s psychology. Of the scarce research that has been conducted, none suggests that child leashes do cause physical or psychological harm.”

Basically, as with most things in life, children as blissfully unaware of how judgmental other people are…until the sad, inevitable day that they’re not.

“If it were culturally normative to leash children I don’t think anyone would have such a strong reaction to them and I can’t imagine children themselves expressing shame or humiliation about being leashed. If that were happening, we would know, and it would be a different story,” Sprowl adds.

She also thinks that for parents of children with special needs, or who have a bunch of kids, or parents who own that one little one who likes to sprint for freedom whenever he or she gets the chance, leashing can be a great and effective way to keep children safe.

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#childleashesofinstagram

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Shelli Dry, a pediatric therapist, agrees – though she does have some additional thoughts.

“The first area to consider would be the purpose of the tether. Is it required for safety in an impulsive child or a child with special needs? When safety is a concern, it should take priority, however there are guidelines that should be followed.”

Janice Robinson-Celeste, chimed in with her agreement as well in an interview with Romper.

“As an early childhood specialist and a parent, I’ve used a ‘leash’ for one out of three of my own children because she was the one that could not be contained in one area. It is a safety precaution and is often necessary. I would rather her be on a safety harness than run into open traffic or off of a pier into the ocean. Many times these restraints help children who are perfecting walking to prevent terrible falls and head injuries. There were many times that I lifted my child mid-fall with these straps as if she was a marionette and prevented her from hitting her head on the pavement.”

The harnesses generally come in cute styles like animal backpacks or fairy wings, designs that young children would be excited to wear, and as long as no one acts like there’s something wrong with it, they’ll happily slip it on the next time you’re going to the zoo, a parade, a theme park, or somewhere else it can be stressful to think about not losing your child.

Dry reminds us to use them correctly, though, and to never pull or tug, or otherwise do something that “could lead to injury and harm to the child. The danger with wrist tethers are that the child could pull away sharply and injure their shoulder or arm. Safer alternatives to the wrist tether would be the harness backpacks or a walking handle in which the child learns to hold a loop or plastic handle.”

Also, Dry suggests using something like this, whether because of safety concerns, or for a child with special needs, or to assuage your own anxiety, as a teaching moment.

“Using a tether with a younger child should be a communication tool and teaching method to help children learn to stay beside their parent or caregiver,” says Dry. “The parent should express the loving desire to keep their child close by at all times. When the child learns to walk alongside the parent, than the use of the tether can be faded. In other words, use of a tether when used short term and in a loving manner as a teaching tool and for safety in a young child should not have a negative effect on the child.”

Here’s the thing: even though you know that you’re doing it for the right reasons and you’re sure you’re not harming your child, you might still get disapproving looks from perfect strangers.

Do what’s right for you and yours, and ignore the people who think they can pass judgment on someone they pass randomly in the street.

And welcome to parenthood…

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This Is Why Black Clothes Seem so Slimming

If you’re anything like me, a quick scan of your closet will show you one thing: you wear a lot of black. For me, it’s not because I’m satanic or allergic to the rest of the color palette. Rather, it has to do with the fact that black clothes are unquestionably slimming, especially for a guy of my size who needs all the help he can get. And for the rest of my black-wearing brethren, science backs up our undying loyalty to the slimming magic of black clothing.

The reason black clothes make us look sleek and slim is due to the way our visual system processes light. It all comes down to an irradiation illusion— a concept written about by 19th-century German physicist Hermann von Helmholtz. Author of the foundational  Handbook of Physiological Optics, Helmholtz discussed the interaction of physics, physiology and psychology in how we perceive certain colors and spaces.

But the obsession with illusions dates back even farther – to the 1500s, with Galileo Galilei’s curiosity about why some planets appeared closer to the naked eye than with a telescope. Turn the clock far ahead to 2014 and an answer finally appeared.

Researchers at the State University of New York College of Optometry studied the electric signals from neurons in the visual areas of human, cat and monkey brains. The test subjects looked at a mix of light shapes on dark backgrounds, dark shapes on light backgrounds, light shapes on gray backgrounds and dark shapes on gray backgrounds.

Based on their findings, the researchers discovered that the two sets of neurons respond differently to light and darkness. The dark (off) neurons responded more strongly to dark shapes on light backgrounds. On the other hand, the light (on) neurons, even with the same amount of contrast, had a significantly greater response.

Whether you believe in the science or you think your eyes are playing tricks on you, black is not only fashionable but makes you look more fit. A black blazer or pair of jeans will make you look slim and sleek the next time you’re out on the town.

It’s science.

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Best Friends of Nearly Eighty Years Are Now Stirring up Trouble Together in the Same Nursing Home

My best friend and I have been BFF for just over three decades at this point, and while neither of us is getting out of this friendship anytime soon, eight decades still seems like a long way off.

For Olive Woodward and Kathleen Saville, though, the decades might have seen them following their own paths, but those roads have wound around and come back together again eighty years on – at the same care facility.

The pair met when they were just 11, at primary school in Nottingham back in 1941. They were neighbors, as well, and grew up best friends.

They married men who worked at the same company and lived on the same road as adults, as well, and staying close through all of life’s ups, downs, and the daily stuff in between.

After 35 years of marriage, Kathleen’s husband died in 1989. She lived on her own for many years afterward before moving into Berry Hilly Park, a care home in Mansfield.

Olive was married 50 years before her husband died, and she too lived alone for a while…before joining her best friend in Berry Hill Park.

Now 89, the pair are the oldest women in the facility (though they’re sure they don’t look a day over 63, and we agree!).

“I’m so glad Olive is here now,” Kathleen confided to Bored Panda. “We’re like giggling schoolgirls, and we still put on our lippy and get dressed up. We always say to each other ‘if you’ve got it, flaunt it.’”

The women also admit to “knocking the staff into shape” and to racing the managers around just for fun. They love to laugh together, and age isn’t going to stop them having a good time.

They’re definitely #goals! Just 50 more years and I’ll be there myself (at least I hope so), and I can’t think of a better way to spend my golden years than raising cane with my bestie!

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This Is What You Should Know About the Hymen

Too many people don’t understand the female body well enough (or at all). The recent revelation that rapper T.I. asks his daughter’s doctor to check her hymen to ensure her virginity on a yearly basis is the (extremely disgusting and invasive and inappropriate) proof. And the fact that so many people support him makes a lot of women very uncomfortable.

In case you’re someone who would like to know more, or who would like to be able to educate other people who should know more, here’s some general information for all of us about a part of the female body.

First up, fact check: the presence of an attached hymen does not indicate whether or not a woman has had vaginal intercourse.

Truly.

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"We have yearly trips to the gynecologist to check her hymen."⁣??‍♀️ ⁣ Yup, TI the rapper said this on a podcast recently.⁣ I can’t make this up. ⁣ If he would have come into my office asking for this I would have laughed in his face. But seriously, there are a lot of people that don't know that you actually can't tell if a woman is a virgin or not just based on an exam. It just doesn't exist.⁣❌ ⁣ ⁣So what is the hymen? It is a thin piece of tissue that covers the opening of the vagina. The hymen can stretch or tear as a result of various behaviors, by tampon or menstrual cup use, pelvic examinations with a speculum, regular physical activity, sexual intercourse, insertion fingers or items into the vagina, and activities such as gymnastics. There are different types and shapes.⁣ ⁣ When a dad puts their daughter in this predicament then she can't trust him. He is humiliating her and possibly making her hide things behind his back. In this case it is making his daughter and other women believe that sex is bad and is not healthy. Her outlook on sex is totally different now and possibly gives her a subconscious thought to thinking that controlling her is ok. She also will possibly view going to the gynecologist or any doctor for that matter as a bad experience, and that could potentially have health consequences for her future. ⁣ So how do we tell if someone is a virgin or not? ⁣ You ask them! ⁣? That's it.⁣ Plan and simple. ⁣ Communication is key as a human being, between friends, between father and daughter, mother and son, doctor and patient.⁣?? ⁣ Let's learn from this and hope that in this century we can dispell myths on virginity, what sex means and hope that women are not scared to see doctors for their health concerns. I hope his daughter can overcome this and have a healthy sexual relationship in her future, because she is after all 18 years old and an adult!⁣ ⁣ FYI, In October 2018, the UN Human Rights, UN Women and the World Health Organization (WHO) stated that virginity testing must end as it is a painful, humiliating and traumatic practice, constituting violence against women. Let’s end this violence! Keeping it real! Dr. E

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The hymen is a thin piece of membranous tissue that partially covers the vaginal opening. It’s usually half-moon shaped, but every body is different. The general belief is that when a woman has sex for the first time the hymen is “broken,” but in truth, it’s typically stretched and only sometimes torn.

Again, that doesn’t happen for everyone.

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#Repost @plannedparenthood • • • • • • “Sex” means different things to different people, so “virginity” does too. But whatever you believe, the fact is you can’t tell if someone’s had sex by checking their hymen (the thin, fleshy tissue that’s located at the opening of the vagina). Hymens are different for everyone. Most hymens naturally have holes in them, and some are more open than others. Many other activities besides sex can stretch your hymen — like riding a bike, doing sports, or putting something in your vagina (like a finger or tampon). ?: @emilysweirdembroidery #misogyny #misogynior #virginity #sexed #hymen #embroidery #sexeducation #womensrights #genderbasedviolence #genderequality #genderequity #equality #equity #feminism #feminists #feminist #oppression #oppressed #marginalized #disenfranchised #virginitytesting #antiwomen

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Not only that, but some girls are born with open hymens, some don’t have one at all, and others naturally stretch or tear their hymens through activities like gymnastics, exercise, or horseback riding – even using tampons, menstrual cups, and regular gynecological exams could cause stretching and/or tearing.

The idea that if a woman is a virgin she’ll bleed the first time she has sex? Also a myth, for the reasons mentioned. Also, even if a woman is a virgin, and even if she has a hymen, her hymen may not bleed if it gets stretched and/or torn.

The bottom line? No one should be examining a woman’s hymen or bedsheets for proof of her virginity, or in order to verify rape allegations – it is useless and can potentially cause physical and psychological harm.

The World Health Organization (WHO) and the United Nations (UN) condemn virginity testing for those reasons and because, in some countries, if an unmarried woman is determined to not be a virgin, she may be publicly shamed, beaten, and imprisoned. Not to mention she may be more likely to consider suicide – or even be murdered.

“The practice is a violation of the victim’s human rights and is associated with both immediate and long-term consequences that are detrimental to her physical, psychological, and social well-being. The harmful practice of virginity testing is a social, cultural, and political issue, and its elimination will require a comprehensive societal response supported by the public heath community and health professionals.”

Also, the concept of virginity itself might be a topic for another day, but this bears repeating: virginity is a social construct, and, in most cases, a holdover from a very different time. A time when women were controlled like property by the men in their lives, and a time before we had technology that could address concerns like paternity and inheritance.

Whether or not a woman has had sexual intercourse has no bearing on her value to herself, her family, or to society at large.

The sooner we all accept that and stop (literally, in some cases) poking our way into other people’s business, the better off everyone will be.

The post This Is What You Should Know About the Hymen appeared first on UberFacts.

A Mom Wrote an Open Letter to the Man Who Shamed Her for Looking at Her Phone Instead of Her Kids

Parenting is tough, and most of us are genuinely doing our best. If you see people out and about with their kids, the truth is that you’re only getting a snapshot of their day – and their lives – so if you have an opinion about what you glimpse in that moment, you’re probably better off keeping it to yourself.

Cell phones make life both easier and harder, and while sometimes we are looking at our phones while with the kids, it’s really none of your business why.

Maybe we need a mental break. Or, like Tracy Bennett, we could be using our phones in an attempt to thwart the very outcome you’re so concerned with happening.

 

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She was standing in a customer service line because she’d forgotten her Costco card, and as it was taking forever, she decided to grab her phone and see if she could use the app to check out.

Which is when some random stranger decided to inform her that she should be paying attention to her fidgety kids instead.

Excuse me. What?

Her post, shared in the group Breastfeeding Mama Talk, is getting plenty of well-deserved attention.

"To the man at Costco today who glanced over at me on my phone while my babies were fussing and felt the need to say,…

Posted by Breastfeeding Mama Talk on Sunday, September 29, 2019

“To the man at Costco today who glanced over at me on my phone while my babies were fussing and felt the need to say, ‘You see these babies? They fuss like that because they want your attention. Maybe you should get off of your phone and give them your attention.’

First of all, I had no idea the toddler saying, “Mama, pizza, mama, pizza” over and over and the baby making pre-cry warnings to alert me that if we don’t move soon he’s going to lose it wanted my attention. Thank you for that brilliant analysis of the situation.

Secondly, I had been in the Membership line for 15 minutes already. I pulled out books, snacks, patty cake, and even took to creepily pointing out items in buggies as customers left the store to entertain them.

Thirdly, you had been in the Refunds line next to me for a total of two minutes or else you would have seen the smiles and laughs and interaction.

Lastly, after 15 minutes, these babies got a bit fussy. And on the meltdown scale, they were barely even at a 1. Sensing the meltdown brewing, I took out my phone, downloaded the Costco app and texted my husband to ask what our log in is in an attempt to just get my membership card on my phone. Because I ran out of tricks and my kids ran out of patience and now my goal was to just get us out of this line as quickly as possible before they released the kraken.

But thank you for your parenting advice. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to shame a young mother with two tiny children. Thank you for seeing a stressful moment and deciding, ‘I think I’ll make this worse for her.’

Everyone, if you see a mother (or father) with young children out in public ANYWHERE, assume she is stressed out. Assume she is trying her damndest to get through the situation. Assume this is the very last place she wants to be. Assume she’d rather be home cuddling, playing, running around with her babies. Assume she probably has had no sleep since her first child was born. Assume she is hungry because her toddler decided he wanted extra eggs this morning so she gave him her breakfast in addition to his own. And if you have nothing kind or supportive to offer her, please mind your own business.

Our babies are healthy, our babies are happy (despite the fact that they are not currently pleased with standing in line at Costco), and our babies are loved fiercely by us. And for the love of God, our babies can wait 2 minutes while we try to solve a problem on your phone.”

Take our advice – the next time you want to make a face or a judgement when you spot a parent doing something you would “never” do, remember this article.

And definitely, do not, ever be this guy.

The post A Mom Wrote an Open Letter to the Man Who Shamed Her for Looking at Her Phone Instead of Her Kids appeared first on UberFacts.

Being Forgetful Might Be a Good Thing for Your Brain

I forget a whole lot of stuff. It’s gotten much worse as I age (and since my pregnancies and having kids – sleep deprivation is no joke!), so I’m quite happy to hear that maybe I haven’t become addled by middle age after all.

Now, let’s just say this: the science says that forgetting small details might mean your brain is functioning well, separating important things from the noise, but forgetting large things should still be considered a major problem.

Onward.

Recent research from the University of Toronto, published in Neuron, finds that the growth of new neurons in the hippocampus (where we think memories are stored) is formatted to make room for new and important information. In the process, that growth allows you to jettison useless knowledge.

Professor Blake Richards, lead author on the study, explains further.

“We always idealize the person who can smash a trivia game, but the point of memory is not being able to remember who won the Stanley Cup in 1972.”

The point of memory, of course, is to increase your intelligence and your ability to assess your circumstances and make educated decisions – and in order to do that, some things need to be forgotten.

The study is supported by 2007 research that used MRI scans to monitor the brains of 20 healthy adults taking a memory test. The results claimed people were better at remembering conflicting information, as opposed to easy or repetitive knowledge.

“The process of forgetting serves a functional purpose,” verified Michael Anderson, one of the researchers on the 2007 study. “What these guys have done is clearly establish the neurobiological basis for this process.”

Researchers agree that there are several benefits to being able to forget some things. First, certain information, like old phone numbers and passwords, is worthless. Second, we can generalize or combine certain memories to no detriment.

In one super interesting experiment with mice, scientists had the rodents find the exit to a maze, then on a future try, changed its location.

The mice who were drugged to forget the former location of the exit found the new one much faster.

Huh.

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Toby? Tom? Tim? Oooh, Andrew. Sorry.

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I’m not sure if this is why I can never remember the names of people I’ve just met (or met long ago), but hey. I’m going to go ahead and blame it on my brain trying to be smarter and stronger, and not on my general lack of interest.

Don’t try to stop me.

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