People Revise Song Lyrics for Jimmy Fallon, Hoping to Capture the Reality of 2020

Sometimes, night show host Jimmy Fallon asks his audience on Twitter to help him really nail a hashtag, and I’ve got to say, those are some of my favorite episodes. Regular people, it turns out, are pretty funny.

And listen, the best way to deal with 2020 is to laugh. I think.

Enter these 13 hilariously revised song lyrics that honestly capture the day.

13. If only we could all say this.

Things might be the slightest bit better.

12. That’s like…a whole version.

Commitment is impressive.

11. This is kind of brilliant.

I want to hear it outside my head.

10. Preach, sir.

A song for our times.

9. You gotta keep dancing.

No question there.

8. This should remain a hit forever.

Said the introvert.

7. I certainly do.

Theme of the summer!

6. If they had, maybe they would have saved their marriage.

Or maybe not. Could go either way, really.

5. Why is it always a Rick?

Also, always the frat boys.

4. “Like” might be a strong word.

The rest of it is spot on, though.

3. It’s the last line that really makes it.

Details, people.

2. Still less creepy than the original.

Don’t @ me.

1. Don’t you just love the oldies?

They really are the goodies.


One day I’m going to win one of these hashtag games!

What would you have added to the hilarity? Tell us in the comments!

The post People Revise Song Lyrics for Jimmy Fallon, Hoping to Capture the Reality of 2020 appeared first on UberFacts.

People Reinforce the Idea That You Should Never Meet Your Heroes

As a person who has met more than my fair share of famous, infamous, and slightly-more-notable-than-average folks, I have to say that the adage “you should never meet your heroes” is mostly true.

As in, far more people have been disappointing or just meh than the other way around.

These 17 people have some stories of their own, and they’ll probably convince you to steer clear of your own heroes, should you ever get the chance.

17. You can’t judge a book by it’s cover.

While I was working at an airport, I met Sting. I thought he was gonna be cool but he was kind of a d%ck. The opposite can be true also. I met Robbie Williams (of Take That) who I’d always thought seemed kind of a d%ck but he was one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.

16. Oh man that’s rough.

I was dying to meet Jason Momoa and I finally got the chance to at an after party for a indie movie he was in. It was at a small venue in LA with some bands playing.

Jason walked in and few people started talking to him; once they passed I bought a beer and approached him. I gave him the beer and asked how his night was. He was kinda drunk already from the look of it, but he pounded the beer without saying anything. I wasn’t too sure what to think so I got more to the point and asked if it would be cool to get a pic. He leaned into my face and said, “Tonight isn’t about that. Tonight is about me.” and walked away.

Not even 5 minutes later he was taking pics with some other people across the venue and signing some autographs.

Aquaman owes me a beer damn it.

15. I actually love this story.

I met Kareem Abdul-Jabbar at an airport. I asked to take a picture and at first he seemed really unhappy about it. I asked what he was reading and it was a Sherlock Holmes novel. I loved those so we chatted about it some and then he mentioned he had written one about Holmes’ brother.

I felt like I was really bothering him so I’d keep trying to leave him alone but every time I started to leave he’d ask a question so we kept chatting. Just a really quiet dude I guess. Was nice after the picture though.

14. That is terrible advice.

John Stockton told me I shouldn’t eat so much bread when I met him when I was a little kid.

13. This is a sad state of affairs.

Scottie pippin is hands down the biggest turd ever. I grew up in the suburbs he lived in and every time I saw him he was just such an a$shole. He was a hero growing up and he ended up being complete garbage.

12. She has a good father though.

When I was in 2nd grade, I thought Bob Feller (pitcher from the Indians back in the day) was the greatest thing ever. I read about him constantly. When Cleveland opened it’s new Jacob’s Field stadium, he was there signing autographs all day. I went to the exhibition game with my dad.

Around 10pm we were walking to our car in the lot, and my dad notices Bob Feller is like ten feet away walking with some guy. He’s like – Do you want to ask him for an autograph? So I go over there, this tiny little white haired blonde girl, and I was like “Excuse me Mr. Feller, can I have your autograph?”

He turns to me and is like “God damnit, no. I’ve been signing autographs all day, I’m not signing another one, jesus christ.”

I didn’t know what to do so I just kinda froze and walked back to my dad and teared up. My dad was so sad because he knew he was my hero, so he took the paper from me and was like “Mr. Feller would you reconsider? She’s 8, she reads about you every night, you’re her hero.” He was like “Give me the god damn paper!” Signed his name real quick, and my dad thanked him so much and walked back to me to give it to me. He was like “Here honey!”

Loud enough for Feller to hear (which was an accident lol), I was like “i dont want it anymore.”

After telling that story here and there I found out apparently he is a huge di*k and has a reputation for being constantly nasty. Oh well.

11. That awkward moment when…

Quite a few years back my dad took my brother and I up to San Francisco for a day trip to pier 39. Turns out Jeremy Bulloch (the original Boba Fett) was doing some kind of meet up thing that no one turned up for, except for us. My dad is a huge star wars nerd after having grown up in its heyday, so naturally he was a bit nervous meeting his hero.

From memory, the encounter went pretty well, but I’ll always remember the moment it got awkward.

“You were always my favorite character man, even if you only got like ten minutes of screentime”

“I’m sure I had a bit more than that..”

10. There is something so innocent about this story.

One of my earliest memories was meeting Batman. I was probably 3 or 4 and I remember my mom taking me to this big event and it was crazy and awesome. The Batmobile was there and we got to sit in it. I remember I had a picture of Batman and Robin signed. Best day ever!

I’m 30 now and recently brought it up to my mom. I asked where it was we went that time. She explained to me that it was just a local grocery store promotion, Batman and Robin were just some old fat middle aged guys with a beat up old corvette that had cardboard “mods” attached to it.

Apparently it was a pretty embarrassing display… I always remembered how amazing that day was but now that I know the truth it kinda ruined it.

9. This is one amazing story.

I was a huge Pistons fan growing up, and my family had season tickets. For season ticket holders you get these sick privileges like being able to go to the tunnel sometimes after games, pregame meet n greets, whatever.

Anyway, one day, some of the Bad Boys were in the arena- the back to back champions. Total Detroit legends. I worshipped them, Isaiah Thomas especially. Keep in mind this was in the second wave of Pistons greatness in the mid 2000s, so to have both iterations of great Pistons teams was unthinkable to me.

Anyway I’m in the tunnel. I got a sh*tload of autographs on this hat that I don’t think I have anymore, Ben Wallace, Rip Hamilton, what have you. Then, an older guy starts walking down, and people are going kinda nuts. It’s one of the Bad Boys. I definitely recognize his face, but I really could only know Isaiah Thomas and Bill Lambeer.

So I go “Who is that?”

And this older teeanged kid (in retrospect he was like twelve) goes “Oh, that’s Joe Dumars.”

So I go “Mister Dumars! Mister Dumars! Can I please have an autograph?” (being polite was procedure, if you weren’t polite they wouldn’t give you anything)

and the guy turns to me, looks me dead in the eyes, and in front of everyone (in my mind like 400 people, in all likelihood it was about 60) and goes:

“Bitch, I’m Rick Mahorn!”

and then the twelve year old goes “Mr. Mahorn, may I have an autograph?” which Rick Mahorn grants him.

TO THE DAY I got an autograph from every single bad boy, EXCEPT Rick Mahorn.

8. It’s always the ones who shouldn’t be that are.

Not my heroes by any means but by far the biggest a$sholes I’ve met in the music industry were Puddle of Mudd.

They couldn’t even play their own songs during sound check without f**king up. And they would fire any crew that looked them in the eyes.

Also Chris Daughtery. I was his runner and asked for an autograph for my aunt who is a huge fan and he just laughed at me.

7. Well that was a ride.

In January 2002, I was invited as a guest to a 101st Airborne reunion as I was writing my masters thesis on the correct way to implement television and movie content in the classroom and I’d chosen the HBO “Band of Brothers” series as an example for a typical high school American History class.

One of my sources was a local man who I’d met through the local war museum and he invited me to come with him to the reunion. “Wild” Bill Guarnere and Edward “Babe” Heffron BOTH happened to attend. I rushed back to the hotel and got my copy of their book “Brothers in Battle, Best of Friends”.

I stood near their table for several minutes, waiting for a break in the conversation, then spoke up. I introduced myself, why I was there, and asked if I could get them to sign my copy of their book.

Bill Guarnere was not pleased to be bothered by a fan and got very mad at me, telling me to “f**k off”. I was super-disappointed and apologized.

Two weeks later, I received a new signed copy of their book along with a signed copy of “Band of Brothers” by Stephen Ambrose. Included was a letter from Ambrose (but signed by the two veterans as well) explaining that Bill and the other members of Easy Company were not in good moods that day because many of them had just found out that Carwood Lipton had passed away less than a month ago. They apologized and thanked me for being understanding

This gesture from Ambrose and the two men has become more and more meaningful over the years as they have all since passed, Ambrose died less than year after the incident.

6. It kind of ruins the whole thing.

I met Michael from The Bachelor (Australia) at a local club called Blackbird.

He wasn’t a “smooth talking but sweet” player like they portrayed him on TV, he was just a drunk dude sleazing on every girl in the venue (With very little success too).

I also met Deadmau5 while bartending and he was a complete wanker. He was so rude to all the staff and other patrons my manager asked his entire entourage to leave. It was really sad for me because I absolutely love his music.

5. Not shockers.

I have a lot of friends that swim and they’ve always said Ryan Lochte is a complete douche.

A few of them met Michael phelps and an apparently he was a condescending a&hole.

4. Neither of those surprise me.

Played blackjack with Michael Phelps who was a drunken sloppy mess and an a$shole. Also, Pete Rose, who was funny and awesome.

Phelps was at the Harrah’s casino in New Orleans during super bowl weekend and Rose was on a random Vegas trip at the Palms 6-7 years ago.

3. A+ work on the aunt’s part, though.

I went to an event with “Salem” from Sabrina the Teenage Witch as the special guest when I was like seven. It turns out, there were multiple Salem cat-actors. For some reason, this really devastated me. After that, I’d always try to point out the inaccuracies of the cats within a scene…

To make me feel better, my aunt got the producers of Wishbone to write and confirm that Wishbone was a single dog, actually named Soccer. This did make me feel better, and Wishbone is a universally better show.

2. That’s just mean.

I met one of the artists from ZZ Top at a super nice hotel in Louisville. Wasn’t a big deal to me but was to my cousin.

My cousin asked, “I’m sorry to bother you, but may I get an autograph? I’m a really big fan!”

The one Z replied “Sure thing, let me run up to my room really quickly and get the rest of the guys.”

We watched him go up to the room and waited for a little over an hour. My cousin cried.

F*ck that Z in particular.

1. He’s just a bit aged, I suppose.

I met Buzz Aldrin working on a promo for Axe Body Spray when they did that Apollo “Go Into Space” contest thing.

He was insanely nice… but listening to him talking to his assistants and the Axe people as well as the director of the promo between takes… he seemed a bit… disconnected from his words.

I have no idea what his schedule was like or what else he was going on but… being the main audio guy I had a clear feed of everything he was saying… and it all just sounded mildly confused.

Still, got to shake hands with a guy who’s been on the freakin moon so, you know, that was really freaking awesome!

We should say that our “heroes” are under no obligation to be fabulous to everyone they meet, but still – it can be disappointing.

Do you have a story to add? Share it with us in the comments!

The post People Reinforce the Idea That You Should Never Meet Your Heroes appeared first on UberFacts.

Parenting Tweets You Don’t Want to Miss

If you’re wondering if you’re the only person out there with crazy kids, a life that always feels up in the air, and a job that just won’t quit – in the year on steroids – you’re definitely not.

And if you need proof, let me offer up these 14 parents who are hilariously muddling through it all, just like the rest of us.

14. It’s important to be practical.

I approve of this parenting tactic.

13. Just living the dream here, people.

The things no one tells you, I swear.

12. Given the current state of the world, they’re learning it sooner.

Dammit.

11. This child is going places.

Not sure where yet; have to wait and see.

10. They weren’t bothering you though.

I fail to see the issue.

9. Never rob a house with young kids.

Or older kids parents don’t have money or nice things lol.

8. Hey, you gotta ask for what you want.

Otherwise you won’t get it for sure.

7. A “miracle.” Sure.

Let’s go with that.

6. Otherwise you could be taken straight jail.

I don’t make the rules, guys.

5. You can say you’ve had your workout today.

Now go and get a glass of wine.

4. She handled that about as well as can be expected.

Which is to say, probably laughing herself to death.

3. It’s never really what you expect on any given day.

That keeps it interesting, I suppose.

2. Kid has your number.

That’s what you get for raising him right.

1. But seriously don’t do this.

It’s terrible advice.

I’m definitely feeling more at home in my zany life!

What’s the silliest happening at your house since all of this started? We’d love to hear the story in the comments!

The post Parenting Tweets You Don’t Want to Miss appeared first on UberFacts.

Celebrity Moms Who Aren’t Shy About Their Postpartum Bodies

For too long, celebrities who had children have pretended for the cameras that getting back into shape was quick and easy. That gestating, birthing, and feeding a baby somehow didn’t change their bodies in the same, permanent ways as the rest of us.

Now, though, with social media, and more and more women willing to celebrate the changes the years and experiences mark on our bodies, celeb moms are seizing the opportunity to just let their postpartum body heal while they appreciate it for what its given them.

11. That dark line down the belly does go away.

You and Cardi B might find you miss it one day.

10. When the VMAs take a backseat to just getting through the days.

Katy Perry looking very real and I love it!

Image Credit: Katy Perry

9. Amy Schumer says mom comfort is key.

And honestly those underwear aren’t that bad.

8. Just in case you thought you could put those maternity clothes away.

Tia Mowry keeping it real about the post-baby bump.

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7 weeks #postpartum. Some #pregnant women after giving birth no longer have a belly after 7 weeks. While others it may take a little longer. Me, I’m the latter. I remember after giving birth to Cree, my belly didn’t all of a sudden go flat. I did have a C-Section, (as well as with my second pregnancy) and I thought something was wrong with me. I had seen in magazines the many women on the beach a few weeks #postpartum in a two piece. To be honest, it had to take time for me to embrace my new body. With this second pregnancy, I now have embraced that fact that I’ve housed a human being. A miracle. A life. If it takes a while for me to get back to my normal self, than so be it. This.Is.Me. And I love me. ❤ #momlife #motherhood #7weeks

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7. Your body can do wonderful things!

You get a reminder of that every day.

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It’s been 9 months since I’ve had Aydin. It’s also been 9 months since anyone, including my husband has seen my stomach after giving birth but here I am posting it for the world to see. Some might scroll by and think “ugh that’s so disgusting why would she post that” and that’s okay. But a lot of you will see it and feel a sense of relief. I constantly see perfect women on my timeline and some days it really makes me feel down. “Why did she not get any stretch marks after having her baby?” “How does she look so perfect and I look like this?” These are some of the thoughts that go through my mind. I would post photos that hid my flaws & made me look amazing, thinking it would make me feel better. I would get comments saying things like “It’s not fair you look so good after having a baby” etc… and it would actually make me feel terrible because I felt like I was making others feel bad about themselves when I myself felt the same way they did! I want to show you the imperfect side of Instagram so you know you’re not alone. It’s time to stop comparing. The day I found out I was pregnant I started using oils and creams religiously thinking it was going to save me from any marks on my belly. I checked every day to see if any had shown up. It was around 8 months pregnant I started to see some marks and by the end of my pregnancy I had TONS of marks & discoloration. I went from 98 pounds to a total of 150 pounds. I cried a lot but I cried even more once I looked at myself in the mirror after I gave birth. I don’t think I looked in the mirror again for weeks. So now 9 months later I’ve decided it’s enough of feeling bad about how I look. God gave me a beautiful child so why has it made me feel as bad as it does? It’s so unimportant. My child is happy healthy and I couldn’t ask for more. But social media has brainwashed so many of us into thinking our outside appearance is more important than it actually is. Ive decided to share this even though it makes me 100% vulnerable to all of you and your judgements. I’m here to show you that we aren’t perfect. We all have flaws, and here is one of mine. I want you to feel better about yours and not be ashamed. Whether it’s t

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6. Stretch marks are a thing so many women deal with.

Even Ashley Graham. No shame.

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same me. few new stories.

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5. Our bodies are ours.

That makes them great.

4. Nothing wrong with that!

Chrissy Teigen is a queen.

3. Even professional dancers out there preaching the truth.

It took time to grow that baby, it will take time to shrink your belly.

2. How cute is Catherine Giudici (of Bachelor fame)?

Before, after, in between!

View this post on Instagram

She escaped! #1weekpost

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1. It’s all about how you feel.

Stay off the scale.

 

If you can get your mind to this place, ladies, I promise those harried, crazy, too-fast first months will be just a little less stressful.

Share with me your favorite postpartum moment – I know it’s there among all of the rest!

The post Celebrity Moms Who Aren’t Shy About Their Postpartum Bodies appeared first on UberFacts.

Hilarious Tweets From Dads Just Like You

I’ve been writing these tweet lists for a long time, but I’m still not ready to weigh in on whether moms or dads have cornered the market on internet humor.

There is one thing I can say for sure, though – dads definitely have their own patented brand of jokes. Which is obviously something these 12 dads have cashed in on in a big way.

12. She will, too.

On the upside, you probably don’t really need another pair of socks, anyway.

Image Credit: Twitter

11. That will definitely do it.

I think the church should look into that.

Image Credit: Twitter

10. Why would they do it any earlier?

They’re not about helping you out.

Image Credit: Twitter

9. Some things just aren’t worth fighting about.

Especially not when they’re hilarious.

Image Credit: Twitter

8. Weird kids are my favorite.

As long as they don’t kill me in my sleep.

Image Credit: Twitter

7. Skills for a lifetime, my friends.

You absolutely can never laugh when you shouldn’t with kids.

Image Credit: Twitter

6. It’s a good skill to have.

Being prepared is also advisable.

Image Credit: Twitter

5. She’s obviously a genius so.

No arguments here.

Image Credit: Twitter

4. She probably knew what she was doing.

That, or she just really likes you with a beard.

Image Credit: Twitter

3. You’ve gotta admire his thinking.

You don’t have to give him the popsicle, though.

Image Credit: Twitter

2. They’re so sweet.

I mean, at least he’s going to miss you.

Image Credit: Twitter

1. Rage cleaning is the only way to live.

Or the only way to ensure other people live, anyway.

Image Credit: Twitter

Dad jokes are welcome here any time, y’all. I love it.

What’s your favorite dad joke? I want to hear all of the best ones in the comments!

The post Hilarious Tweets From Dads Just Like You appeared first on UberFacts.

How Your Tattoos Might Be Messing With Your Sweat Glands

Tattoos are very common today. Back in the day, only fun ladies and military dudes (or I suppose convicts) really sported ink on a regular basis, but since the nineties, they’ve continued to trend as a common, if permanent, accessory.

Perhaps that’s why scientists are really just beginning to wonder whether or not there could be any long- or short-term effects of having ink deposited right beneath your skin – and this recent study seems to conclude that one of those effects could be a poor ability to sweat.

Image Credit: Pixabay

The paper was published in the Journal of Applied Physiology, and featured a pretty small sample size of 10 participants. The subjects wore tube-lined suits containing warm water, which induced them to sweat – though skin covered by a tattoo or tattoos produced 15% less sweat than skin left unmarked.

This research joins more like it, like another small 2017 study that used an electric current to produce sweat, and found that inked skin produced 50% less perspiration, but is belied by at least one study that found no difference in sweating ability between inked and non-inked skin.

Image Credit: Pexels

There doesn’t seem to be conclusive evidence, nor does the study make any comment on why or how a tattoo could affect one’s ability to sweat.

For now, it seems like you’re safe to continue amassing as much ink as you like, though if this does eventually prove to be an issue, the more tattoos you have, the more trouble you might have cooling off on a hot day.

Image Credit: Pexels

Then again, people with full body tattoos have been staying cool with no trouble since forever, so you’re probably fine either way.

You do you, my friend, and leave the scientists to their business.

The post How Your Tattoos Might Be Messing With Your Sweat Glands appeared first on UberFacts.

Surprising Behind-the-Scenes Facts About Haunted Houses

As a teenager, going to haunted houses was about the only thing I enjoyed about Halloween.

This, even though they were in a terrible part of town where people actually got shot at least once, so my dad insisted he drive my friends and me in his minivan.

There’s just something so fun about being terrified, and if you happen to go with your crush? That’s a built in reason to grab their hand, my friends.

What goes on behind the scenes, though? I’m dying to find out, and Margee Kerr – a sociology professor at the University of Pittsburgh who moonlights as a consultant for ScareHouse (a local haunted house) – is ready to share!

8. You’re not imagining the smell.

There are entire companies out there helping design the smells inside of a haunted house – something, you know, that smells sort of like a rotting corpse but won’t actually make you vomit.

Kerr says Scare House uses several different scents, but one of them is boar urine. She says it’s “awful, but in a way that isn’t completely repulsive.”

Okay.

There’s a fine balance, she says, and it’s important to get it right.

“Something like bad breath is just going to make people disengage and move away. But there’s other smells that are weird and gross, yet that don’t take you out of the experience.”

Other haunted houses shy away from using strong scents, since they’re not something you can easily adapt if it’s not working for a particular group or evening.

7. Trends matter.

Image Credit: Pexels

Kerr and others like her have been polling haunted house visitors regularly for years, to make sure that the scariest thing they can imagine in any given year is featured during their scares.

Zombies, ghosts, demons, witches, serial killers…everything is on the table, they just want to keep up with the times.

Kerr says that zombies are still high on people’s lists, and so are popular movie serial killers like Jason and Freddy, but that sideshow, clown-type freaks have also enjoyed a rise with the remake of It and the popularity American Horror Story.

6. Employees are trained to adapt.

Employees keep an eye on groups as they go through the house, and if they’re not scared or jumping enough, they’ll abandon the plot or progression and go straight for physiological jump-scares.

The opposite is also true, and “if someone is too scared we train our actors to back off …We want them to have nightmares for a week, not the rest of their lives!”

D. Brandon LeJeune, who manages the House of Torment in Austin, TX, says the goal is “to scare first and foremost, but when that doesn’t work out, we fall back to entertaining.”

He also agrees that guests are told to “inform a monster” if they are too scared to go on, and they will be escorted out – something that happens “on a very regular basis,” he admits.

Aside from these instances, though, staff largely stick to the script.

5. Cheap tricks can be super effective.

Oldies but goodies, like black-out rooms and strobe lights, are as effective as any high-dollar scares as far as getting the reactions haunted houses want.

Kerr also says that subtle movements, like walls that move slightly when you lean against them, and floors that are a bit too creaky or too rigid, all work to just throw people off their expectations.

Those, combined with good, old-fashioned startles, remain the fundamentals of every successful haunted house.

4. And sometimes simple is better.

Kerr says ScareHouse tried a scene in 2009 where there was a battle between good and evil, but the idea was too complex – it wouldn’t allow people to access their primal fear.

“That was a lesson in how simple is better – narrative thread good, narrative cobwebs bad…a little bit of narrative goes a long way.”

3. You should never let your guard down.

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UPDATE: All ScareHouse tickets must now be purchased in advance. No tickets will be sold at the door. We have decreased the number of tickets sold each night to help with wait time and social distancing on the property. Tickets WILL sell out. Purchase online and early to reserve your date from scarehouse.com With capacity so limited many dates and timeslots will sell out. So if you’d like to visit on a certain date or time, no joke, get ‘em before they’re gone. There are many people out there who can sadly attest to being turned away because tickets were Sold Out on our opening weekend. Due to necessary Covid regulations set by local health officials our haunt feels a bit different and a bit shorter this year due to social distancing of our creatures, the temporary elimination of all touchpoints & tight spaces, and mandatory reduced occupancy for both guests and cast. But because of this limited capacity, haunt fans will enjoy shorter wait times and be able to enter the haunts with no one other than those in their personal bubble – it's just you and your friends alone in Pittsburgh's favorite haunted house. Just don’t forget your mask!

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If you’re feeling like you have a moment to breathe, it’s probably because something is about to scare the bejeesus out of you, says Elizabeth Harper, an LA-based lighting designer.

“If you subvert the patter, the audience has a moment of relief where they feel like they’ve escaped unscathed – and that’s your opportunity to really scare them.”

One employee describes how they manage this within one of their scenes:

“In the morgue, visitors see a rib cage slowly lifting up.

While they’re turned and looking at that, it allows the actors to slowly creep out of their scare pockets and slide right to the middle of the group.”

And that, my friends, is when the real scare happens.

2. They produce a natural high.

Some people have linked those feel-good feelings with being scared, others enjoy the feeling of accomplishment at conquering something that scares them, and other people just love horror, but either way, there’s a good chance you’ll get a mood boost from your night at the haunted houses.

Kerr says,

“The adrenaline, the dopamine, the endorphins that course through your body – the scary material is just a trigger for that kind of response with some people.”

Yeah, you know you like it!

1. They may be a way to connect with more primal humans.

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ScareHouse returns this fall.

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Modern humans evolved in places where threats were constant, but today, we’re not usually facing life-or-death situations (thank goodness!).

We’re happy about that, of course, but Kerr says those facts can make it hard to imagine exactly what it felt like to be a primitive human.

“For many Americans, their emotional expressions on a day-to-day basis are very narrow.

We’re not having many highs or lows. We’re living a more restricted emotional life.

I think that’s why we go out to scary movies and haunted houses – we evolve to have this massive range of emotional experiences, and we still want them.”

So, go and feed your primitive, dark side, is what she’s saying – it’s only human, after all!

The post Surprising Behind-the-Scenes Facts About Haunted Houses appeared first on UberFacts.

These Memes Will Make Parents Feel Seen

As a mom, it can feel like the rest of the world is passing you by, especially when your kids are young. The world is turning, but your days and nights are consumed by tiny terrorists who need your undivided attention 24/7.

These 11 memes see you and the struggle, though, and the best thing about them is that they let you know you’re not alone.

11. We all do desperate things during the newborn days.

If you say you didn’t, it’s because you forgot.

Image Credit: Ruin My Week

10. Because you also have to wipe their butts.

I hope you don’t have to do that with your friend.

Image Credit: Ruin My Week

9. Better than any alarm clock.

I think he definitely knew that.

Image Credit: Ruin My Week

8. There’s always gotta be one.

And we love those ones.

Image Credit: Ruin My Week

7. Ooh I never thought of that.

I usually dutifully buy a replacement from Amazon.

Image Credit: Ruin My Week

6. Wow. Jealous of those communication skills.

So you’re doing something right.

Image Credit: Ruin My Week

5. That’s a fun word to say.

Even if you’re screaming. Especially if you’re screaming.

Image Credit: Ruin My Week

4. Seriously, what a hassle.

It’s more work for the parents than anything.

Image Credit: Ruin My Week

3. Seconded and carried.

Every day is pajama day.

Image Credit: Ruin My Week

2. How many towels do you need to bathe a child?

The limit does not exist.

Image Credit: Ruin My Week

1. Her face, though.

A lesson she won’t forget.

Image Credit: Ruin My Week

I am offering all of my fellow parents a virtual fist-bump right now!

The best thing about it is that it’s germ free.

The post These Memes Will Make Parents Feel Seen appeared first on UberFacts.

People Describe How Old They Are Without Using Their Age

I recently tweeted that I was “one of my girlfriends (named Karen) just lamented the closing of a local Olive Garden” years old.”

That’s just one example of how one could describe their age without giving away the exact number, and honestly, there are people out there doing it with way snappier humor than me.

If you’re up for that, here are 13 people who had some pretty hilarious takes.

13. It’s how we saw the Challenger explode.

I’m willing to bet under-funded districts still use these.

12. We never did feel very sorry for those ducks, huh.

I guess maybe violent video games doesn’t make you a murderer.

11. This is the eating area of a Taco Bell, my friends.

It distracted you from the lack of cleanliness.

10. That game was impossible.

Don’t try to tell me it wasn’t.

9. We admit the skipping was a problem.

The CD, not school. The latter wasn’t a problem, per say.

8. Just this picture gave me nostalgia.

I can almost smell it.

7. These seemed like miracles.

Colorful, pocked-sized miracles.

6. They were seriously so cool, too.

We were shocked and awed.

5. We all know nothing has changed beneath the surface, right?

Man, that slide burned the crap out of your legs.

4. No, we’re not talking about the television show.

We’re talking about your FUTURE, JESSICA.

3. You think we like cereal this much for another reason?

There were TOYS.

2. This seems like it was a brief moment in time.

It was annoying, not sorry it’s gone.

1. To be fair, these shows are still on PBS Kids.

The new ones aren’t as good, though.

I think I could ballpark most of these people’s ages, couldn’t you?

Give your own age-without-the-number a shot in the comments!

The post People Describe How Old They Are Without Using Their Age appeared first on UberFacts.

Here Are Some of the Best Tweets From Parents We’ve Seen in a While

Parents have some of the best Twitter accounts – at least, that’s what I think now that I’m a parent. We just love to congregate and tell war stories and reassure one another that yes, it’s definitely a phase (because it’s always a phase!).

If that sounds like something you need in your life, then please enjoy these 14 lovely tweets!

14. This is the best joke I’ve read in awhile.

And what an excuse for class!

13. Kids are gonna be kids.

Get some tweezers, teachers.

12. Probably more than once.

And if you’ve got two kids (or more), my heart is with you.

11. I’m not sure he knows what that means.

Bless his heart.

10. It’s a beautiful name.

If only it had worked out.

9. That’s the perk of being the teacher.

I hear you get gifts on holidays.

8. “Oh.”

Run if they begin a sentence this way.

7. Honesty is the best policy.

Also they don’t need a reason.

6. Kind of makes you want to cry, doesn’t it?

You’re welcome.

5. Wasn’t that the goal?

Maybe not in so many words.

4. After having two kids, I think this is scientifically accurate.

Fight me.

3. “Walking the dog” is the greatest excuse to escape ever.

May I also recommend listening to audiobooks or a podcast while you do?

2. It’s the patience part that’s the hardest.

It will be the test of your life.

1. It really is.

But I mean, it’s all exhausting, so.

I want to virtually high-five all of these folks!

What’s your favorite parenting account to follow on Twitter? Share with us in the comments!

The post Here Are Some of the Best Tweets From Parents We’ve Seen in a While appeared first on UberFacts.