Church Signs Sure To Bring You Closer to Heaven

There are roughly 380,000 churches in the U.S.

To put that into perspective for you, that’s about one church per 800 people. It’s 27 times the number of McDonald’s locations, and those things are everywhere.

So, how do you make your church stand out among the crowd? Easy. You come up with a funny sign and let the internet do the rest.

15. Hot and cold

It’s even hotter than the bad place out here.

Sign at local church from funny

14. East and west

I didn’t know such a level of affection was even possible.

This sign at my local church from funny

13. A clean start

It’s not in the original Bible but it’s in the extended cut.

This sign a local church put up. from funny

12. A balanced diet

Thank you.

This has to be the best church sign I’ve ever seen. from funny

11. No cheating

Ok, not gonna lie, it took me a second.

This church sign is going hard on the puns from funny

10. Buzz off

“Hey God, are we totally sure we need these things?”

My personal favorite church sign. And I agree. from funny

9. Let the rain fall

That’s enough blessings for now, thanks.

Sign at a church in Colorado from funny

8. Spot heroes

And this commandment is to be held above all else.

Sign at a church in Salem, MA from funny

7. Now you see me…

…now you don’t.

The Sign Outside a Church in my Town from funny

6. Closer to thee, Oh Lord

BRB, heading to Heaven.

Never thought I’d see one, but the church sign near my house made me laugh hard today! from funny

5. Cut to the chase

I shouldn’t have to sell this to you.

Church sign guy hates his job from funny

4. The golden ratio

It’s actually not a bad bit of advice.

This church sign in CC, TX is winning the sign game. from funny

3. Grace under fire

This is so cringey it loops back around to funny.

A church sign in my home town… from funny

2. Oh God

Well, that’s a spicy take for a church.

The sign in front of my friends church … is doing it right! from funny

1. Special perks

I’m in, you win, I’m done with heat and sin.

Church signs in Phoenix. from funny

Pretty good. Almost makes me wanna start going back to church.

What’s the funniest sign you’ve seen recently?

Tell us about it in the comments.

Thanks, fam!

The post Church Signs Sure To Bring You Closer to Heaven appeared first on UberFacts.

May 10, 2021

Tweets That Prove Autocorrect Can Drive You Insane

Autocorrect has been around for as long as smartphones.

It was initially developed by Ken Kocienda and his team at Apple for their operating system Project Purple, which would come to fruition as the first iPhone.

Said Kocienda, “It wasn’t easy to figure out how software might come to our rescue and how much our algorithms should be allowed to make suggestions or intervene to fix typing mistakes. I wrote the code for iPhone autocorrection based on an analysis of the words we type most commonly, the frequency of words relative to others, and the errors we’re most likely to make on a touchscreen keyboard.”

In other words, they knew typing with your thumbs was gonna end in a bunch of nonsense, and they tried to make a digital assistant to help you out.

But how well did it work? Let’s let Twitter decide.

15. All blown up

Ain’t it the truth.

My autocorrect just changed daughter to disaster and I’ve never been more paranoid that my smart phone could read my mind.

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) December 6, 2019

14. Captain Caps

Maybe it’s smarter than we give it credit for.

Did you know that:

Your phone won't auto correct if you are typing in all caps?

I guess it assumes you’re angry and does not want to get involved.

— Bow (@bowNarrow007) April 8, 2021

13. How the tables have turned

WOULD YOU JUST MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

The other day I actually was trying to type “ducking” and autocorrect changed it to “fucking,” so I’m fairly sure that at this point my phone is just tucking with me.

— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) May 8, 2020

12. Contractions and contradictions

What is so hard to understand about this?

No autocorrect, for the 100th time, I mean “well” not “we’ll”

— Lilly (@Lilly) August 29, 2018

11. Not a morning person

You get me. Dawn is death.

Autocorrect just changed 'morning' to 'morbid' and now life makes perfect sense

— Pugnado (@LuvPug) July 22, 2017

10. Eating my feelings

Come on, leave me alone.

Autocorrect changed dadbod to sadbod and to be honest that really hurt my feelings.

— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) August 11, 2019

9. In the mix

Well that just sounds WAY more fun.

Autocorrect changed "pandemic" to "panda mix" and I'm not even questioning it.

— Envy (@envydatropic) December 16, 2020

8. Carpe diem

It’s gonna be a great time.

Yes, autocorrect. By all means, let’s size the day.

— The Untastic Mr. Fitz (@UnFitz) May 8, 2018

7. Good for thought

Robots don’t eat, that’s why they suck so bad.

I really don't understand auto correct sometimes. Why are you changing "food" to "good?" Is "food" not a word? We can't be friends.

— Lilly (@Lilly) August 11, 2017

6. Wine about it

Maybe it thought you meant “whine and die.”

I texted my wife "Tonight after the kids go down, let's wine and dine" except my phone changed it to "wine and die."

It's almost like auto-correct knows how hard it is to be a parent.

— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) June 5, 2019

5. Spell it out

Why must you let me suffer when you know full well what I need?

I'd need help with a word and autocorrect will be like no I wanna watch this son of a bitch spell exacerbate first

— Dapperilla (@theDapperilla) April 6, 2021

4. Word of the day

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

me: i am so fucked
autocorrect: feel like u meant to say "ducked"

me: haoppy bjrghday
autocorrect: yeah that tracks

— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) December 19, 2017

3. Soon and very soon

The suspense is killing me.

Tried to sign an email "soph" but it autocorrected to "soon" so now my whole email sounds like a threat.

— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) June 3, 2016

2. Dying slowly

Hey, it’s really the best we can hope for.

My phone changed “I’m doing well” to “I’m dying well” and now I’m worried autocorrect knows something about me I don’t.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 15, 2018

1. In your dreams

We all have ’em.

My phone just autocorrected "anxiety" to "nudity," as in "nudity dream," and sometimes I think they're just messing with us for personal entertainment

— Meena Harris (@meenaharris) March 5, 2021

I think those are pretty ducking great.

Is autocorrect more helpful or hurtful?

Give us your opinion in the comments.

The post Tweets That Prove Autocorrect Can Drive You Insane appeared first on UberFacts.

May 10, 2021

Was This Person a Jerk for Throwing Away a Cake Someone Made for Her? People Responded.

It’s time to hang on tight for another great story from the archives of Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole” page!

And this one has to do with a discarded birthday cake that led to some hurt feelings.

Let’s see what transpired…

AITA for throwing out a birthday cake that was made for me?

“Last week was my (17F) and my twin brother’s birthday.

Our family wanted to throw us a small party and we thought it’d be a great idea since we’ve hardly gotten to see anyone in our extended family for the last year. I was particularly excited because our aunt owns a bakery and makes the most delicious cakes and I wasn’t able to get one last year.

The day of the party comes and my family members arrive. My aunt comes up to me and my brother with her daughter, Averi (9F), in tow. Both my aunt and Averi have a small box in their hands and Averi is absolutely beaming.

My aunt says, “Here are your cakes! I hope you like them!” and Averi immediately chimes in “And I made yours OP!” When my brother opens his box there’s the world’s most beautiful white chocolate cake. Absolutely supreme work by my aunt, it’s even got raspberry filling. My brother’s favorite. I couldn’t wait to see mine.

Needless to say when I opened my box I was quite disappointed. When Averi said that she made the cake she meant it. I don’t think my aunt had any involvement with my cake at all and it showed. The cake was lopsided, the icing noticeably uneven, and looked like it was decorated by a blind and/or drunk monkey that had access to sprinkles.

To be nice I took a bite. Lemon favor, which I detest. Even if it were a flavor that I liked it was dry and could barely qualify as edible. I set it aside, hugged and thanked my cousin for the cake, and continued with the party despite my disappointment.

After the party was over my aunt and mom were talking on the phone and my aunt asked to speak with me. She asked me what did I think about the cake and I was brutally honest. I told my aunt that I couldn’t eat the cake and had to throw it out and that I wished she had made a cake for both my brother and I and just let Averi have her little side project.

Unfortunately my aunt had put me on speakerphone so that my cousin could hear my answer and I gave the worst answer possible. Now Averi doesn’t want to talk to me anymore and my aunt and mom are upset with me. My brother called me and a** and said I should have just said I liked the cake but how was I supposed to know my aunt would put me on speakerphone like that?

Was I the a**hole?”

Hmmm….now let’s take a look at how folks responded on Reddit.

This person said that the girl’s aunt was to blame here. And I think I agree with them!

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another reader said that you gotta be careful with speaker phones…you never know who’s listening or what you might say!

Photo Credit: Reddit

This Reddit user said that the girl’s aunt really blew it on multiple fronts and is to blame for the situation.

Photo Credit: Reddit

This person blamed the aunt as well…and sprinkled in a bunch of fun puns. Take a look!

Photo Credit: Reddit

Finally, this person also agreed that the aunt is to blame for this entire fiasco.

Photo Credit: Reddit

What do you think?

Was this young woman wrong in her actions?

Share your thoughts with us in the comments. Thanks!

The post Was This Person a Jerk for Throwing Away a Cake Someone Made for Her? People Responded. appeared first on UberFacts.

May 8, 2021

If You Have a Dog, You’ll Love These Memes

Three things I love in this world: hockey, tacos, and DOGS.

Fat dogs, skinny dogs, ugly dogs, pretty dogs, I love all of ’em!

And I also really love dog memes! And we’re gonna dig into some good ones today!

Also, tell your pooch hi for us and give them some extra love!

1. Here we go again.

You’ve heard that thing ring a million times!

Photo Credit: someecards

2. I said drop it!

What do you have in there?!?!

Photo Credit: someecards

3. You can’t leave the house without doing this.

You know you have to!

Photo Credit: someecards

4. Maybe she just didn’t know what to say.

That’s my guess…

Photo Credit: someecards

5. Everyone’s about to lose it.

It happens over and over and over again.

Photo Credit: someecards

6. I think they like this a lot.

In fact, I KNOW IT.

Photo Credit: someecards

7. Just waiting for the doorbell to ring.

Always on guard…

Photo Credit: someecards

8. You’re being blackmailed.

By a very cute pooch.

Photo Credit: someecards

9. I want one!

These dogs are amazing!

Photo Credit: someecards

10. You knew this was gonna happen!

Dads are always doing this kind of thing.

Photo Credit: someecards

11. This pup is a scientist.

Just look at the research!

Photo Credit: someecards

12. I don’t know if I agree with you.

It helps! Really!

Photo Credit: someecards

Do you have a pooch at home?

If you do, please share a pic with us in the comments and introduce us to them.

We can’t wait to meet them!

The post If You Have a Dog, You’ll Love These Memes appeared first on UberFacts.

May 8, 2021

This Person Is Angry Because Their Boyfriend Puts Things in Their Food They Don’t Want. Are They Wrong?

Never mess with someone’s food!

I believe in this and I think everyone else should, too.

But some people cross that line and, as you can imagine, it’s never a good thing.

Let’s see what happened in this story from a man who shared his story on the “Am I the *sshole?” page on Reddit.

AITA for getting upset at my bf for putting things I dont like in my breakfast?

“I (20M) go to a culinary arts university in America and stay with my bf L(21M).

He is American and an atheist while i’m born and raised a Turkish Muslim. Since we both go to cooking school, we change the cooking chore daily without a problem. Also last bit, i’m a rather progressive person and i cut ties with my uber-religious dad and J knows this.

So onto the story, it was J’s turn to cook and he told me he would make breakfast for the weekend. So Saturday morning (which was my birthday) he comes to my room with some food and blindfolds me saying there is a surprise. Then he says he made something on the table and we walk there. I take a bite and it was pork.

From a pig ofc. so i was of course incredibly aggravated. I took the blindfold immediately and asked why he did this. He was in hysterics and thought this was SOO funny. I told him it was disrespectful and he shouldn’t disrespect my religion.

He scoffed off saying i was overreacting and that i wasn’t that religious anyway so he thought it wouldn’t be an issue.

I’m currently thinking of moving to a new room/house but my brother who i vented to is saying that’s too much of an overreaction so AITA for maybe reacting too much?”

And here’s how folks on Reddit responded.

This reader said that the man needs to be in a relationship with someone who is going to be respectful and have boundaries. PERIOD.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another Reddit user said that the man’s boyfriend sounds like a total psycho.

I mean, who does something like this?

Photo Credit: Reddit

This person said that the boyfriend is obviously pushing boundaries just to see how far he can take it…and that’s a really bad sign.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another reader said the guy who wrote the post should straight up dump the chump.

Photo Credit: Reddit

And lastly, a person argued that the boyfriend’s actions clearly prove that he has no respect for the man’s religious background…and it might be time to break up.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Okay, you’re up!

In the comments, tell us what you think about this woman’s story.

We’d love to hear from you!

The post This Person Is Angry Because Their Boyfriend Puts Things in Their Food They Don’t Want. Are They Wrong? appeared first on UberFacts.

15. Hot and cold

14. East and west

13. A clean start

12. A balanced diet

11. No cheating

10. Buzz off

9. Let the rain fall

8. Spot heroes

7. Now you see me…

6. Closer to thee, Oh Lord

5. Cut to the chase

4. The golden ratio

3. Grace under fire

2. Oh God

1. Special perks

15. All blown up

14. Captain Caps

13. How the tables have turned

12. Contractions and contradictions

11. Not a morning person

10. Eating my feelings

9. In the mix

8. Carpe diem

7. Good for thought

6. Wine about it

5. Spell it out

4. Word of the day

3. Soon and very soon

2. Dying slowly

1. In your dreams

AITA for throwing out a birthday cake that was made for me?

1. Ummmm, I’m feeling kind of swamped.

2. This might not help much.

3. Be nice to everyone!

4. What did you do?!?!

5. Decisions, decisions.

6. This is what it will be called from now on.

7. You know you did it!

8. That was utterly exhausting.

9. Words to live by.

10. Do you remember?

11. Just ignore it!

12. Whatever works, right?

13. Don’t eat it!

1. Here we go again.

2. I said drop it!

3. You can’t leave the house without doing this.

4. Maybe she just didn’t know what to say.

5. Everyone’s about to lose it.

6. I think they like this a lot.

7. Just waiting for the doorbell to ring.

8. You’re being blackmailed.

9. I want one!

10. You knew this was gonna happen!

11. This pup is a scientist.

12. I don’t know if I agree with you.

1. You deserve everything.

2. Perfect for a friend to take a break.

3. The wave of love.

4. You got this, buddy!

5. Help yourself to a stick.

6. Loafs of love.

7. A very brave pooch.

8. That’s what friends are for.

9. I remember it well!

10. You only need a few good ones.

11. A bond that lasts forever.

12. Dad nailed it again!

1. They’re really pushing it…

2. It’s time to party!

3. I think you did the right thing.

4. You know he’s just gonna agree.

5. No, don’t do that.

6. Now you’re gonna be really p*ssed!

7. What do I do now?

8. Now what do I do?

9. It might hit the ceiling.

10. Oh, boy, here we go.

11. Why is it always this way?

12. Try it out from every angle.