Dog Memes to Improve Your Life

Elizabeth Taylor once famously said, “Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.”

Personally, I don’t have a lot of experience with horses, but I can see how dogs would be preferable to most dudes.

Because dogs are amazing, as these memes will attest.

15. Paws off

I am the chosen one and you shall not intervene.

Via: Someecards

14. Holding steady

My whole life is built around this heckin’ good boi.

Via: Someecards

13. All the right words

I never thought of it this way, and now I’m having an existential crisis.

Via: Someecards

12. Heaven can wait

We don’t deserve dogs.

Via: Someecards

11. The inner circle

Note how 2020 is left blank.

Via: Someecards

10. Simple solutions

We have a lot to learn from the canines.

Via: Someecards

9. Ride or die

He’s bad to the bone.

Via: Someecards

8. That bites

Here kitty, kitty, kitty.

Via: Someecards

7. Paws for reflection

None of us stand a chance against this.

Via: Someecards

6. Glorious food

You try eating the same thing every day and see how YOU like it.

Via: Someecards

5. Vet your response

I see right through your deception, Kevin.

Via: Someecards

4. Sniff ’em out

You’ve got a lot of explaining to do.

Via: Someecards

3. High praise

You are at least ten thousand candles in the wind.

Via: Someecards

2. On a roll

Dream on, pupper. These delicacies are all for me.

Via: Someecards

1. A girl’s best friend

If I had a genie it would be my very first wish, no question.

Via: Someecards

Here’s to dogs – may we some day deserve them.

What’s your doggo like?

Tell us all about them in the comments.

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A Patient Pulled an Ingenious Trick to Get a Quick Appointment

There’s a meme out there that one of the worst parts of “adulting” is making appointments for yourself. I mean, who wants to like, speak to a person and schedule a responsibility?

What’s worse is when the places we’re trying to go seem to have policies designed specifically to keep you from easily doing so.

Which is weird. Like, don’t you all want my money? Work with me here.

Luckily, there are ways around this sort of thing. They require a little cleverness and a lot of nerve, but they can be pulled off in style, like Tumblr user hotmolasses explains.

Step 1: Try to Walk-In

You think we’re gonna let just anybody in here? Think again.

Step 2: Make the Call

The fact that they didn’t even bother walking out of the lobby first just kills me.

Step 3: Make an Appointment

How can you miss that this is happening right in front of you? Don’t you hear the echo?

Step 4: Confirm

The fact that she was mad about it is the icing on the cake.

Step 5: Satisfaction

Now share the story far and wide.

You don’t have to be a full-blown Karen to get your way as a customer. Just apply a little wit and flair, and you’ll be well on your way to checking that errand off your to-do list.

What’s a strange loophole you’ve used before?

Tell us about it in the comments.

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This Guy Used a Weird “DIY” Lifehack to Outsmart a Mechanic

It’s pretty much a meme at this point that any time you think you’re doing OK in life or you finally have some money saved, that’s when car problems strike and ruin absolutely everything. It’s a huge problem for me, a mechanically inept person.

My grandfather knows absolutely everything about cars, my dad knows some things, I know nothing. Following this pattern I assume my future son will not even understand what a car is.

Mechanical issues are of course exacerbated by unscrupulous mechanics who know that you can’t fix the problem on your own and will come up with all sorts of ways to trap you into paying way too much for a process that’s actually pretty simple. I need a new headlight installed. How long does that take? 10 minutes? 4 hours? I have no idea. I’m at the mercy of the guy quoting me a price.

Unless, of course, I come up with an ingenious plan, like this Tumblr user did.

Step 1: Identify the Problem

Nothing like a little bit of price gouging to start off a good story.

Step 2: Shop Around

Hey man, I’m just trying to play my part here.

Step 3: Find an Alternative Route

If you wanna play, we can play.

Step 4: Do It Yourself

When your own incompetence is secretly your greatest weapon.

Step 5: Revel in the Satisfaction

Holy, indeed.

So there ya have it. A life hack for those of us who are mechanically challenged. Go forth, and save some dough.

What weird loophole have you used to save money?

Tell us in the comments.

The post This Guy Used a Weird “DIY” Lifehack to Outsmart a Mechanic appeared first on UberFacts.

Here’s How to Skip Those Pesky Cancellation Fees

Reception desk jobs are kind of weird.

You’re there to be a pleasant presence to help folks navigate whatever is on offer, but you also have to be a sort of busy bureaucrat, enforcing rules with a smile on your face and confusing or enraging customers/clients in the process through no fault of your own.

Which is all to say, I don’t envy the folks who have to hold those jobs, but I also don’t envy me when I find myself caught up in conversations with them over some very unfair nonsense. Luckily, for anyone willing to look hard enough, there’s usually some loophole to be exploited that doesn’t just involve screaming to get your way.

You can be polite AND skirt the rules, as this story by Reddit user Stellapotamus demonstrates.

Step 1: Try to Cancel

When you notice something about the notice.

Step 2: Just Reschedule

Put it whenever you want, I’m not coming anyway.

Step 3: Turn the Tables

Is this really the first time someone tried this?

Bonus: Internet Edition

Pretty much anything that can be done to stick it to Comcast is worthwhile.

As they say…

I need this embroidered on a pillow.

So there ya have it. Need to stop something but don’t wanna pay for the privilege? Get on board with his particular brand of “cancel” culture.

What’s a weird loophole you’ve exploited to save money?

Share your tips in the comments.

Thanks, fam!

The post Here’s How to Skip Those Pesky Cancellation Fees appeared first on UberFacts.

Funny Texts That Human Beings Actually Sent to Each Other

It’s kind of hard to imagine a world without text messaging…

I have one friend who likes to buck the system and he refuses to get texting on his phone, but every single other person I know has the ability to send text messages.

With that many people sending messages out into the world, there’s bound to be a ton of ridiculous, embarrassing, and hilarious moments for us to enjoy.

And here are a bunch! Let’s take a look.

1. That didn’t end well.

Nice try though, Frankie…you did your best.

2. It’s going to be a glorious decade!

Get ready for it!

3. That sounds very awkward.

Let’s talk about your daughter…

4. That’s what friends are for.

Come on over, I’ll be here for you…

5. You should have waited for a response.

But what’s done is done.

6. You made a terrible choice.

And you’ll never be the same ever again.

7. You gotta do it the right way.

These are words to live by.

8. That problem was not washed away.

Oh, and we need to talk.

9. Hahahaha. This is great.

I wonder if she learned a lesson.

10. You are really classin’ it up!

Keep up the great work!

11. At least this person is being very honest.

Germans are…not know for their humor so much…

12. You earned it.

Here’s to a job well done!

13. This is a real tragedy.

We are sorry for your loss.

Okay, it’s confession time…

Have you sent any texts or received any that really made you cringe?

If so, please tell us about them in the comments. We won’t make fun of you…too much. Thanks!

The post Funny Texts That Human Beings Actually Sent to Each Other appeared first on UberFacts.

Funny Text Messages That People Probably Regret They Sent

If you’re like 99% of the population, you’ve probably sent some text messages in your life that you wish you could take back.

But hey, the chances are pretty good that your texts didn’t end up on the hilarious “Texts From Last Night” Instagram page…because that’s when you know that you’ve really screwed up.

But these folks weren’t so lucky. But hey, at least we get to laugh at them, and that’s definitely a bright spot…for us…

Enjoy these texts that people probably wish they could take back…

1. That was a little rough.

But…maybe you had it coming.

2. I hope she remembers you…

You did a good deed.

3. We all do this sometimes.

Hey, don’t feel bad about it!

4. This takes a lot of…guts.

Might as well knock it out with one shot.

5. Katie is the honest woman we need right now.

Thank you, Katie…

6. Sounds like a wild night.

I’m sorry I missed out on it!

7. You’re setting a great example.

We tip our hats to you!

8. Don’t compare me to a wall!

I resent that remark!

9. Ouch…not messing around here.

Now, tell us what you did to deserve this.

10. You gotta get the name right, bro.

Nice effort, though.

11. This could really go either way.

Good luck out there…and be careful…

12. Speaking the truth.

And the truth hurts, doesn’t it?

How about you?

Have you sent any cringeworthy texts lately that you regret? Or maybe you’ve received some real whoppers?

If so, tell us about them in the comments. Thanks!

The post Funny Text Messages That People Probably Regret They Sent appeared first on UberFacts.

Why Don’t Humans Have a “Mating Season?”

The Reddit forum r/NoStupidQuestions is the place to go when you have a query you’re too embarrassed to ask your friends…or because you’ve already exhausted your friends asking this particular question.

This one should really get those brain-wheels greased – if humans are mammals just like all the rest (or close enough), why isn’t there a human mating season?

If you’re curious now, here’s what 15 people had to say about it!

15. Keep dreaming.

Ugh it’s terrible. I wish we would just have mating seasons.

U horny? yeah I’m horny, mkay let’s bang.

cool. done.

To hell with all this courtship and mind games.

14. Look at the smart guy!

There’s no definitive answer, but one part of it might be that humans are already communal creatures, so there’s no need to synchronize any sort of mating season, because we’re already together.

Additionally, human babies take a long time to mature, and are often looked after by more humans than just the mother, this makes asynchronous births easier, since there will be more humans to help with child care.

13. The more you know?

It’s actually Feb 14 and Jan 1st.

Which is why birthdays in October and November are more common…

12. It might not be for the best.

Organisms that can’t farm or stockpile resources may have no choice. If they don’t all birth when resources are increasing or abundant (usually Spring or Summer), the offspring will die. Of course disasters can strike e.g. a drought leading to famine and a mass die off for a species.

It also worth noting though that most species which require huge amounts of resources usually aren’t too numerous (humans are again another exception there, but evidence is rapidly mounting that we are using up our resources and screwing over the planet which could lead to us causing our own extinction….so yay?)

11. Hahahaha think about it.

Imagine everybody having a break off work to go out and find a mate.

Paid sex vacation?

10. We’re not alone.

Chimps and gorillas don’t have mating sessions either.

9. “Happy” holidays?

Everyone I know seems to have a September birthday which means that December is, apparently, mating season.

8. Seasons don’t matter.

Plus since we have to take care of them for years anyway, it doesn’t really make sense to avoid a winter. We’ll have to do the next one after all.

And writing that down, our species originated in a region with no winter. So the need for a mating season would probably be a lot less prevalent anyway. (Do other big mammals in the African plains have mating seasons?)

7. Blerg.

The human female reproductive cycle repeats every month instead of every year.

Our mating season is all the time except for one week a month.

6. Those dang kids.

Also since the time it takes for human babies to mature enough to no longer need parental support is longer than 1 year, it’d be irrational to have an annual season for mating.

5. There’s always a reason.

We don’t have a firm answer for this in nature, but generally, mating seasons are found in species that a) have a long gestational period; and b) have significantly unequal access to food year round.

Typically the mechanism is a hormonal cycle where the female is only receptive to mating under particular conditions (usually weather and calorie related).

Hardly any apes are seasonal breeders, and the few that are likely developed our common ancestors split. So while we don’t have a firm answer in nature, the most likely answer is that it’s because the ancestors of humans a few million years ago had relatively even access to food throughout the year. Our closest relatives (chimpanzees, gorillas, orangutans, and bonobos and gibbons) are all continuous breeders as well.

4. We can feed ourselves any time.

Animal mating seasons typically coincide with the season where resources (namely food) are most abundant. Pregnancy requires a lot of energy, after all, so there’s little point for a deer, for example, to try and have a child in the middle of winter when food is at its scarcest.

Humans, by contrast, have been less dependent on seasons being hunter-gatherers. More importantly, however, by possessing the capacity to be pregnant at any point in the year, males and females are ‘forced’ to stay in close proximity all year long, rather than have the males buggar off and only come back during mating season.

This allows the female to secure food, care, and resource for her and her progeny during the entire year, and allows for a better chance for the offspring to survive (as human offsprings are extremely dependent on their caretakers for a longer period relative to other animal species)

3. So…all year?

If you live in Canada, I’d call it winter.

2. “A continual basis.” Sure.

One of the more unusual aspects of human mating is that unlike most species, ovulation / fertility isn’t on display. If you’ve ever owned a female dog, you’ll know they go into “heat” and begin spotting, leaving a trail everywhere. In the wild this would lead a mate to the female during her fertile window.

Humans are one of the very few if not only(?) species that have this virtually entirely hidden… It requires that the male maintain courtship on a more continual basis… and it’s also heavily involved in preventing something akin to a mating season.

1. Details, because you know you want them.

I think it’s important to point out the differences between a menstrual) cycle and an estrous cycle. In terms of menstruation, humans are among a very limited group of mammals. Menstruation is the shedding of the uterine lining (endometrium), whereas estrous cycles involve the re-absorption of the endometrium.

Menstruation is generally found amongst simian species. There are some bats, the elephant shrew, and the spiny mouse that also have menstruation cycles. Beyond that, placental mammals seem to use estrous cycles. There are species that use the estrous cycle that have bloody discharges from the vagina, and that gets mistaken for menstruation.

Giraffes (estrous cycle) seem to have a pretty subtle process that requires the male to taste/smell the urine of a female in order to tell if they are fertile or not. This can mean that males will headbutt a female in the bladder to get them to pee.

Don’t you just love stuff that gets your gears grinding?

What do you think about these responses? Are you buying it? Tell us in the comments!

The post Why Don’t Humans Have a “Mating Season?” appeared first on UberFacts.

Dank Memes to Help Satisfy All Your Scrolling Needs

Once in a while, we all just need to totally unplug and mindlessly indulge good ol’ memes.

Luckily for you, we have a fresh drop of 11 dank memes that’ll help you scratch that scrolling itch.

1. The definition of stress

This was one of the more riveting parts of being on the bus home from middle school.

Image Credit: theCHIVE

2. The sixth love language

Listen, all things considered, we should take whatever we can get from cats.

Image Credit: theCHIVE

3. The ultimate hack

We all really thought that we pulled a fast one on Dora by doing this.

Image Credit: theCHIVE

4. Society’s lies

That’s one way to disillusion an entire class of kids real quick.

Image Credit: theCHIVE

5. Only the dankest

With the way all of 2020 went, this is truly the only way to survive what’s to come in 2021.

Image Credit: theCHIVE

6. Major oof

It was always the absolute most whenever your teacher laid the smackdown like this.

Image Credit: theCHIVE

7. Terrifying

This was easily the worst part of childhood.

Image Credit: theCHIVE

8. I’ve got a bad feeling about this

Anyone else feel like the world is still on fire?

Image Credit: theCHIVE

9. It’s the simple things

At least the astrological bodies are still working.

Image Credit: theCHIVE

10. The real MVP here

Honestly, this phrase is a total lifesaver in any essay. Literally anything could be encompassed in “etc.” so you can continue to look well-read while preventing yourself from saying something totally inaccurate.

Image Credit: theCHIVE

11. Love isn’t real

When stuff like this happens, it’s just hard to believe in the good in the world.

Image Credit: theCHIVE

Ah, to recapture that feeling of total superiority of tricking a cartoon character.

There are some childhood pleasures that can only exist in the past, so it’s a good thing we have memes to help preserve them.

Do you have any memes that always give you a good chuckle? Share them with us in the comments!

The post Dank Memes to Help Satisfy All Your Scrolling Needs appeared first on UberFacts.

Spicy Memes to Help Your Day Be a Lot Funnier

It’s almost the end of the week, so you know what that means: it’s time for more memes. Here are 13 delightfully raunchy memes that are sure to give your weekend some extra kick.

1. This is the worst

All the missed opportunities – they haunt us.

Image Credit: theCHIVE

2. Aww

That’s comforting – in a weird way.

Image Credit: theCHIVE

3. RIP 2020

Am I eating because I’m bored, or am I bored because I’m just eating?

Image Credit: theCHIVE

4. Pretty much

We all know that immediate feeling of repulsion.

Image Credit: theCHIVE

5. Oops

Some people just have the worst luck finding love, but hang in there. It’ll happen eventually – right?

Image Credit: theCHIVE

6. Talk about a warning sign

I’d take this as a cue to make an immediately beeline out of there.

Image Credit: theCHIVE

7. An uncomfortable truth

Not all Russian men*, but this is a pretty crazy phenomenon.

Image Credit: theCHIVE

8. Why

Why, oh why would any animal scientist come up with this term? This gives a whole new meaning to military green.

Image Credit: theCHIVE

9. We all know where this is going

While a cool idea in concept, this will probably end up giving your cat some major zoomies.

Image Credit: theCHIVE

10. Major burn

Way to double down on an absolutely gut-punch of a comeback.

Image Credit: theCHIVE

11. Accurate

A little oxidization never hurt anybody.

Image Credit: theCHIVE

12. Only true champions know

This is actually the best feeling, and nobody can argue with me about it.

Image Credit: theCHIVE

13. Oh no

Talk about a very poor choice of words here.

Image Credit: theCHIVE

Well, that meme dump really hit the spot. Honestly, some of them were a little bit TMI… but hey, who are we to police the way people express themselves through the sheer artistry of meme-making?

What are some of your favorite raunchy memes? Share them with us in the comments!

The post Spicy Memes to Help Your Day Be a Lot Funnier appeared first on UberFacts.

Do You Have an Irrational Fear of Answering the Phone? People Confess That You’re Not Alone!

It’s one of the more ironic things about our society that now that we all have phones in our hands pretty much 24/7, we’ve developed an intense dislike of actually speaking on them.

We’d rather text or DM or PM or Snapchat or heck, even email before actually picking it up and talking to whoever is on the other end of the line.

This guy has an irrational fear of answering, no matter who is calling, and he wonders if he’s alone.

Does anyone else have this irrational fear of answering calls, no matter who’s calling? from NoStupidQuestions

Luckily, answers like that are just what Reddit is for.

Let’s check them out!

16. Definitely not.

I’m not alone then. I HATE getting calls.

Text me all you want – just don’t call me. I get anxious and uncomfortable and I have no idea why.

It’s gotten so bad even my girlfriend is affected. Yeah, she can call me and I’d answer, but our calls rarely go beyond 3 minutes.

I’m not even joking.

15. Those are the devil, too.

Sort of.

But for some reason I will never listen to a voicemail message as I think for some reason they’ll always be bad.

14. No good reason.

My biggest issue is unknown numbers.

I haven’t deleted a number I’ve saved in my phone since I got it but stuff like I’ve joined some service and the person I’m in contact with will use one number but their contact may contact me from another then the initial person has a work mobile that’s set to private and it’s all WHY IS SOMEONE PHONING ME???

13. Even more reason not to answer in your private time.

Yes.

I also work at a call center.

It’s lots of fun.

12. Things are getting worse, too.

I have a very difficult time answering phone calls. It wasn’t something I’ve always had… it’s progressed over the last 18 years.

Hell, even if I don’t answer and the callers leaves a message, I have a difficult time actually listening to the message. I don’t understand it… it’s completely irrational.

The only thing I can think of is that in my mind, if I don’t acknowledge the call or the message, I don’t have to deal with whatever potential threat/problem/situation exists on the other end.

11. Sometimes we have to.

I’m a 911 operator and I still have anxiety about using the phone, outside of work of course.

I’m guessing a different state of mind exists when you’re working that kind of blocks it out.

10. Sooooo awkward.

Yes, I have social anxiety to begin with but for some reason not being able to see the person I’m talking to makes it so much worse.

Also the city I live in has dogsh%t cell reception so by the fourth time I have to say “I’m sorry, say again?”

I’m about ready to curl up in a ball and give up. LOL

9. Anxiety is no fun.

Yes, but I suffer from generalized anxiety.

When my anxiety is really unsettled, the phone is really hard for me.

Making or receiving calls can be a totally daunting task.

Overwhelming, even.

Without the invention of texting, I would be SOL.

8. Just say no.

Yes. I hate answering my phone unless I know who it is or am expecting a call.

I just let it go to voicemail and then call back if necessary.

7. Apps are a godsend.

Luckily these days most places hat deliver support online or app ordering.

Haven’t called for a good delivery in a couple years.

6. Hopefully next year.

It certainly does make me feel anxious, and if I’m not expecting a call and it’s an unknown number, a little afraid too.

Either way, both of us should leave the house more often.

5. Humans should come with warning labels.

Yep! My boyfriend is nice enough to make appointments for me and pick up my meds.

I don’t know why but every time I make the calls myself it’s like I have this strange kind of goodbye exchange that seems all intimate and weird.

And then one time I accidentally hung up on a lady without saying bye and I could not get over it, I felt so bad.

I hate calling people, god dammit. I also probably never answer the phone when it rings.

Just send me an email or something I’m scared, I’m poor, I’m anxious, I don’t want what you’re selling.

4. It’s a real thing.

Telephone phobia is reluctance or fear of making or taking phone calls, literally, “fear of telephones”. It is considered to be a type of social phobia or social anxiety.

It may be compared to glossophobia, in that both arise from having to engage with an audience, and the associated fear of being criticized, judged or made a fool of.

3. Why would you?

Same.

I never answer my phone if I’m not expecting a call or don’t know who it is.

If they don’t leave a message I don’t call back.

2. This is definitely a thing.

I’ll do you one better.

If I’m going to order ahead from a restaurant and I discover that they don’t have online ordering, I find a different restaurant.

1. At least you’re not alone.

generalized anxiety
That feeling when you are watching the screen, knowing you cant reject the call, and holding your breath until the call leaves the screen, so you can get back to Reddit.

Next, you wonder how long is best to wait, before you text them an excuse as to why you didn’t answer..

Then, you get lost on Reddit and forget someone called, and you never call or text them back.

Eventually, you see them in person, they’re all, “yooo, you never answer your phone! Why do you even have one?!”

Sorry, I just suck at life.

I don’t think I have a fear,  exactly, but I would definitely rather text.

Give us your thoughts in the comments!

The post Do You Have an Irrational Fear of Answering the Phone? People Confess That You’re Not Alone! appeared first on UberFacts.