Oh, boy, here we go…
Webster’s Dictionary defines Florida as “Some sort of hot swamp full of tigers, maybe.”
The definition can’t go into much more detail than that because to date, nobody who has entered Florida has ever escaped to tell the tale.
Looking at these headlines, though, we might just get a bit of a glimpse inside…
15. Get a leg up
And it would’ve gotten away from him too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids.
Source: MSN
14. The fruitcake
Why are you laughing? WHAT DO YOU KNOW THAT WE DON’T?
Source: Click Orlando
13. The most important meal
She crawled so that future Karens could run.
Source: Action News Jax
12. Hole in one
Whatever it takes to keep that score low.
Source: UPI
11. Going up?
“Can you please open up, I’m very late.” – alligator, probably
Source: MSN
10. Beneath the mask
Yeah, you should join, we have these ceremonies where we just sorta keep our distance and we worship the concept of not dying a preventable death.
Source: Fox 35 Orlando
9. Mist me
He a little confused but he got the spirit.
Source: Fox 13 Tampa Bay
8. Something squirrelly
Genuinely, it’s my job to write funny little remarks about these things, but what could I possibly add to this masterpiece?
Source: Sun Sentinel
7. You kid
I don’t think I’d like to know any more about this.
Source: AP News
6. Spray it out loud
Yeah, not super sure that’s how viruses work.
Source: KIRO 7
5. Sign of the times
You know you can just like…easily lift those out of the ground right?
Source: News Channel 8
4. Polly want a cracker
I will be reading this article in full later, thank you very much.
Source: Tampa Bay Times
3. Whatcha gonna do?
He played the ol’ reverse card on ’em. Now it is THEY who are the bad boys.
Source: Click Orlando
2. Full contact
Well, you get what you pay for, I guess.
Source: Fox 13 Tampa Bay
1. Thou shalt not steal
This sounds way more exciting than the church I grew up in.
Source: Daily Mail
If you’re feeling adventurous, maybe give Florida a chance. Later. For…obvious reasons.
What’s the strangest thing about where you live?
Tell us in the comments.
The post 15 Times Florida News Headlines Baffled Us All appeared first on UberFacts.