Going to therapy is nothing to joke about…oh wait, yes it is!
At least it is according to these folks who decided to tweet about couples therapy.
Let’s dive right into the pain…and the laughs!
1. Who’s ahead?
Me: What's the score, who's winning?
Therapist: Ok so that's really not how couples counseling works.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 31, 2017
2. I’ve heard enough out of you.
Me: I just don’t see how Luigi could afford a mansion like that on a plumber’s salary, especially since he worked for his brother
Wife: see what I mean?
Therapist: shut up for a second he has a point— The Dad (@thedad) March 2, 2019
3. Hahahaha.
[couples therapy]
HER: He's always talking down to me
ME: *heavy sigh* It's called being condescending but I doubt you knew that, Karen— Floyd (@dafloydsta) November 24, 2015
4. Maybe you are…
Therapist: So why…why are you…here?
Me: My wife thinks I’m immature
T: And has she…has she actually CAN YOU STOP DOING THAT??!!
M: (I put the bubble wrap down)— The Abominable The Alex Nevil (@TheAlexNevil) February 21, 2018
5. Doesn’t look good…
*Bob the Builder takes Wendy's hand at couples therapy*
…Can we fix it?— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) July 16, 2016
6. That’s a tragedy.
Couples therapy 1999: he doesn't tell me I'm pretty anymore
Couples therapy 2017: he hasn't liked one of my tweets in like 8 months
— deck the halls w kimmymonte
(@KimmyMonte) May 7, 2017
7. You’re not a doctor!
[Couples Therapy]
HER: He keeps pretending he's a doctor. This relationship is dead
HIM: I'm calling it. Time of death, 9:26
ME: OMG SEE!
— Saucy Kensington (@Book_Krazy) July 31, 2015
8. That is crucial.
[marriage counseling]
She doesn't think I'm very romantic
"He wears a fanny pack to bed"
IT'S FOR HOLDING SNACKS, KAREN
— Floyd (@dafloydsta) August 28, 2017
9. I see…
THERAPIST: why do you want to end your marriage?
ME: she uses the flesh colored emojis instead of the default yellow ones
THERAPIST: [nodding]
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) May 20, 2018
10. You moron!
When you say something like that, I feel like YOU'RE A DAMN MORON.
(This marriage counseling is really helping me express myself better.)
—
Just Linda
11. That’s great!
You think you have a good marriage? Well, at couples therapy my wife and I threw our shoulders out from high-fiving each other so much!
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) August 25, 2012
12. I’m gonna need to pat you down.
[at couples therapy]
"He’s always so suspicious."
I am not.
"You patted my father down for a wire at Christmas."
He has a moustache.— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) January 3, 2015
13. Uh oh…
My wife just made me put the fitted sheet on the bed by myself so I guess we are going back to couples counseling.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) February 23, 2013
14. Never a good sign.
{marriage counseling}
I guess it all started when I saw him put the toothpaste on before the water…
*therapist scribbles furiously*
— Marlalala la la la la (@Marlebean) July 28, 2015
15. He just can’t bring himself to do it.
(at marriage counseling)
Him: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!
Me: Why are you afraid? What do you think will happen if you refill the soap dispenser?— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) December 19, 2016
Have you ever given couples therapy a whirl?
If so, let us know how it went in the comments! We’re here to listen!
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