Futurama coined the phrase “You are technically correct – the best kind of correct.” It’s a funnier line in context but technically correct is definitely the best flavor of correct when it comes to jokes.
When tiny truths you never thought about get framed in a perfectly novel way, the result is comedy gold. Here’s a few examples from the good folks on Twitter.
13. Not a flotation device
Just a warning if you're buying a watch on Amazon. I learned the hard way that if it says you can swim with it, this only applies if you can already swim without it.
— Ayn Randy (@ItsAndyRyan) February 9, 2020
12. This week, on making an open-mic-er
Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts
— Jeff Kasanoff (@JeffKasanoff) February 19, 2020
11. *mic drop* *beat drop*
A diss track is just two grown men sitting in separate rooms, writing poems about each other.
— Andrew Collin (@AndrewTCollin) May 30, 2018
10. It’s the true measure of society
That must be something from the US, here in Europe we're more into metres
—
Lynx
(@LynxVGC) January 23, 2020
9. You can do anything…once
The human body is incredible. Right now, if I so desired, I could do 15 percent of a backflip and wreck my shit right here on the sidewalk.
— Quarantaniel (@ItsDanSheehan) July 19, 2017
8. Then why to they call it yellowcake?
A second great reason to not eat uranium https://t.co/GLyHHefp2N
— David ‮ yensiR (@David_Risney) February 8, 2020
7. So I’m not drinking alone?
When you're drinking beer, the beer is getting drunk too.
— RandomFun! (@RandomFun_) June 12, 2017
6. I think I need a charger
Oh your "brain" is acting "illogically"? It's meat with electricity inside what the fuck did you expect
— Kyle
(@KylePlantEmoji) February 13, 2020
5. No one nose the truth
If Pinocchio had said that his nose grows longer Everytime he tells the truth nobody would know that he was lying
— Adish⁷ (@Adish2404) February 16, 2020
4. TIL foods have genres
my favorite genre of food is crunchy water pic.twitter.com/K70glmxzlz
— quaranstina (@makahiya13) January 31, 2020
3. They couldn’t really reschedule it
Wife: [helping daughter with homework] the War of 1812 was between?
Daughter: I don’t know.
Me: [mouthful of skittles] 1811 and 1813.
— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) July 6, 2019
2. Decimated by decimals
If the number 666 is considered evil
then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.
— Mother Of Sarcasm (@SarcasmMother) July 7, 2016
1. She’ll outlive us all
Betty White is so old she starred on a 7-season TV show about being old that went off the air before most of you were born
— your best friend (@SortaBad) April 9, 2017
Man. If being right in jokes is wrong, then I don’t want to be…wrong. Hmm. Ok, I confused myself with that one, I’ll need to go workshop it for a while.
What’s your favorite technically correct joke?
Let us know in the comments.
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