Stop me if you’ve heard this one – girl meets boy, they fall in love, boy needs to grow up, girl keeps waiting for him to do it. It happens way too often. If it hasn’t happened to you personally, it probably did to someone you know.
Well, this Twitter thread is for you.
Twitter user @awkward_duck shared a heartbreaking tale of how a friend of hers (a guy) kept screwing up and not taking his relationship seriously. Result: relationship lost.
The set up…
My homeboy, who i love to pieces, had a great gf but he kept messing up. Like big time. Finally she called it quits. He told her he was gonna take the time to become a better person, & she agreed they could reconcile later if he really worked on himself.
— Rev Rell (@awkward_duck) February 23, 2019
2 years?!?
That was 2 years ago. & my homeboy really just took that time to play around until he felt ready to be in a r’ship.
Now she’s engaged to get married to another guy this summer& my homeboy is HURT. But, i told him no one is required to stick around while you ‘figure’ stuff out
— Rev Rell (@awkward_duck) February 23, 2019
You never have anybody “on hold”
And i realize this kinda thing happened to a few other guys i know, and like my homeboy they were all extremely upset to find the person they thought they had on hold moved on.
— Rev Rell (@awkward_duck) February 23, 2019
She told you bro!
said he felt strung along, but she told him from jump she would be open, but she wasn’t gonna put herself on hold.
What he thought would happen is they’d just drift back together eventually w/no work on his part, while he used the breakup as time to play around.
— Rev Rell (@awkward_duck) February 23, 2019
Well, it worked for Offset and Cardi B, so…
Now he’s tryna think of some last-ditch grand romantic gesture. Had to remind him this ain’t the movies. Gotta hold that L.
— Rev Rell (@awkward_duck) February 23, 2019
Gotta let it go, bro…
Also it’s selfish. You hurt someone. You did nothing to fix the harm. They move on a find a happy healthy love and you wanna swoop in at the 11th hour and interrupt that?
— Rev Rell (@awkward_duck) February 23, 2019
Gotta fix yourself first…
Oh, now i remember why i brought a all this up- emotional labor.
He says to me she should’ve helped him unpack the stuff he needed to work on.
He hurt her repeatedly and then expected her to help him work through why.
Go to therapy. Or talk to a faith leader. Or read…
— Rev Rell (@awkward_duck) February 23, 2019
Wait… 7 years?!
But the gag is, I told him back when they broke up that she was gon’ get snatched up if he didn’t get it together. And this man chuckled at the thought. After being on/off for 7 years he assumed she’d always be available to him.
— Rev Rell (@awkward_duck) February 23, 2019
Don’t do the math. Just don’t.
YALL and then he was sitting here tryna do the math over the phone, like
“Well, if they’re engaged she MUSTVE been talking with him damn near right after we broke up’
Ok? And?! Guys love fucking up & then make the real travesty about how quickly she moved on.
— Rev Rell (@awkward_duck) February 23, 2019
Look in the mirror bro
‘From what I understand you were hitting up girls while IN a relationship, you don’t get to dictate what’s the appropriate amount of time before she gets to move on.’
He was like ‘well i said i was sorry. I apologized. But i think anyone should wait atleast 6 months.’
-_-
— Rev Rell (@awkward_duck) February 23, 2019
You blew it
Tbh is was a PRIVILEGE that she was even open to reconciliation. But he fumbled that, too.
Now he gotta hear about the wedding plans from all of their mutuals and he’s in shambles
— Rev Rell (@awkward_duck) February 23, 2019
She is fixing to get married. What do you not understand about that?
His LB’s (he’s a kappa) are tryna gas him to drive up to see her. This ain’t A Different World. Her fiancée will probably stomp homie out.
Stop encouraging your trifling friends to harass their ex. Start encouraging them to do better in the first place.
— Rev Rell (@awkward_duck) February 23, 2019
Being a friend means tough love sometimes…
I started this with I love my friend. But when the men in my life are, on occasion, graced with my advice I don’t do them the disservice of sugarcoating it.
— Rev Rell (@awkward_duck) February 23, 2019
Naturally, so many could relate and shared their own experiences…
TBH, last minute saves are insulting…
No one wants to be a last minute option.. and no one wants to wait around forever.. I love this thread..
— Pack of Dulce
(@kikiMari3) February 23, 2019
Please be with me so I can take advantage…
Yeah&I think this is a perfect example of a person who doesn’t really care about their S/O but wants them there because of the comfort of knowing they’ve stuck around the shitty behavior so long they’ll continue to&wants to act hurt when they don’t. They always move on fast tho.
— #1 Gritty Stan (@mgabb__) February 24, 2019
Take care of yourself first
Loved reading this. Been through this time and time again trying to help someone change but ended up taking away from my own peace & hurting myself along the way. Let her go and let her be happy. pic.twitter.com/VaEsdXSXuK
— Whoa-KIM-osabe (@WhoaKimosabe1) February 24, 2019
This.
— HAWII WANJOHI (@hawiiwanjohi) February 23, 2019
So many don’t even know this about themselves!
He isn’t ready for a relationship. Analogy: men who engage in domestic violence & then beg for forgiveness repeatedly are on a power trip where their sick psyche thrives on “confirmation” that they are indispensable no matter what they do. Endpoint is death for the abused.
— Etan O (@EdincoT) February 24, 2019
Yep.
— The Underacheiving Ravenclaw (@flower_maker) February 24, 2019
After 67K+ retweets and 165k+ likes, Brown tweeted her appreciation for people picking up her words and sharing them with the world. She also gave us all some advice we could use right now:
For those harmed. If you’re going through this, some weird grey area/post breakup fog use this time to prioritize you. Get ya self-work/glow-up popping. Therapy. Read a book. Take a class. Find a new bar
That got me through my breakup. Prioritizing self. Cliche, but effective.
— Rev Rell (@awkward_duck) February 26, 2019
The more you can work on you and feel better about who YOU are, the more you’ll be ready to meet that person who fits with the happiest (or happier) version of you.
Truth!
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