Good morning! Afternoon? Thursday?…Huh?
Honestly, I’m having a hard time telling what day it is anymore, good thing I’ve got all these tweets to keep me company.
No matter what’s happening in the world, Twitter soldiers on, creating things for us to laugh at and wish we’d thought of them first.
Enjoy this round up of a few random funny tweets, and forget your troubles for a while.
10. Isolate in style
I gotta play this uno in a mink coat with some champagne https://t.co/za2ikARjeJ
— Freckle Face Bandit (@Marquis__Young) January 11, 2020
9. If anything I’m sweating more now
*air horn sound*
*second air horn sound*
Me: "This isn't deodorant."— ste(ph)en (@stephenjmolloy) January 27, 2016
8. A catastrophic date
[first date]
DATE: I think cat people are psychopaths
ME: *slowly pushes date's coffee off table*
— POOPSCRUFFIN4U (@POOPSCRUFFIN4U) June 15, 2015
7. Just bear with him a moment
You can’t put a bear on a state flag and then act surprised when it shows up for a town hall meeting https://t.co/fr0cvcvG2g
— Dragana (@draganakaurin) July 19, 2019
6. But are they getting buff?
My kids act like best friends.
Best friends who draw “tattoos” on each other. And fight. And tell on each other to gain favor with me.
Prison inmates. My kids act like prison inmates.
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) January 21, 2020
5. He’s like a soothing roller coaster
That moment when Bob Ross adds a bold new tree trunk right down the middle of a perfect painting and you let out an audible "NOOOOOOOOO" but then he somehow makes it even more perfect.
— Cathryn
(@AngryRaccoon2) January 9, 2020
4. It’s a killer holiday
Worst Friday the 13th ever. Someone stole the baby Jason from our nativity set.
— Brother Ben (@SentenceReduced) March 13, 2020
3. It needs my help
“What’s that?”
“It’s a therapy cat.”
“It looks like a chihuahua.”
“That’s why the therapy.”
— Jimmer Cork-Bottle (@JimmerThatisAll) July 26, 2019
2. It’s the least they could do right now
Please sign my online petition to get Netflix to change “are you still watching” to “looking good nice pajamas”
— Dumb Beezie (@dumbbeezie) March 23, 2020
1. Good boys in the outfield
PITCHER: *throws a ball*
UMPIRE: Ball four. Walk!
AUDIENCE (who are dogs): *goes apeshit*— Swim Jeans
(@ShortSleeveSuit) April 14, 2018
There, that passed some time. How long? 3 minutes? 10? October? We may never know.
Who’s your favorite twitter person right now?
Tell us who to follow in the comments.
The post Tweets to Make You Laugh Today, Tomorrow, and the Next Day appeared first on UberFacts.