The ‘Stabby The Roomba’ Story Reveals How Strange Humanity Really Is

People are strange. The reason we’re the dominant species on the planet isn’t because we’re the biggest, or the strongest, or the fastest, but because we’ve got these big, complicated brains that lead us to innovate and empathize and cooperate and just try things until they work.

Also we have thumbs. Thumbs are super helpful.

But the same brains that give us this edge over the natural world also lead us down pathways that by all accounts seem absolutely irrational.

Take this hypothetical bit of sci-fi from Tumblr user sepulchritude, for instance.

Stick with it. At first, the claim they make won’t seem right, but pretty soon, you’ll probably find yourself agreeing.

Part of my brain says “No, I’d never indulge in that. It’s dangerous. It’s pointless. It’s stupid.”

But another, louder part of my brain really wishes I had a Roomba so I could go strap a knife to it right now and freak out my roommate.

We can empathize with just about anything that seems remotely alive. Especially when those things are small and cute and mischievous.

We’re capable of going from indifferent to highly attached real, real quick.

And don’t forget about our love of games.

Having an ongoing, unpredictable game of “what’s the little guy gonna do next” would be irresistible in any stale workplace.

Remember Wilson from Cast Away? The VOLLEYBALL we all CRIED ABOUT when it washed out to sea at the end?

If reblogs were more knives, “Stabby” would be the most dangerous killer in the universe. Or, more likely, would have been overloaded with the weight long ago and just shut down. This conversation was reblogged over 150,000 times. People love them some Stabby.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever found yourself attached to?

Share your human experience in the comments.

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