I grew up in a middle-class household, so I have absolutely no idea what it’s like to go hungry or go without the basic necessities in life.

But, sadly, there are far too many people out there who grew up in poverty and still continue to do so.

Folks took to AskReddit to talk about the unwritten social expectations they had to deal with while growing up poor.

Take a look.

1. Don’t talk to anyone.

“My parents worked and were usually home about an hour or so after my elementary school got out.

We lived around the corner and down the way, like… less than one km, probably half a mile or so… anyway, I had a cell phone to call when I got home.

I was prepped with “do NOT answer the door for ANYONE. Not your grandpa, not your uncle, not our friends, your friends, mailman, NO ONE. not the police or fire department UNLESS the house is already on FIRE.”

I never opened the door for anyone. If I knew who they were, I would shout through the paned window overlooking the porch. But even then, that was rare, I usually just stayed out of sight.

I also ALWAYS keep my front door locked now too. And if I’m not expecting someone, I don’t answer the door if I’m home alone. I also have a big dog with a big bark.”

2. Freezing cold.

“I lived in a place with bitter winters. while the thermostat at school and other public spaces was turned up past 70 degrees F, my home was always around 60 degrees, sometimes dropping to the 50s.

We’d offset the low temperature by sleeping with multiple blankets and wearing layers upon layers, sometimes even wearing snow pants around the house and to bed.”

3. Take care of those teeth.

“My dad made us brush our teeth for 5-10 minutes every night. And we never got sweets. Because we couldn’t afford to go to the dentist.

I think I went two, maybe three times until I got a job with benefits in my early 20s. My teeth are crooked AF but surprisingly escaped with very few cavities.”

4. Go the cheap route.

“You are perpetually young. Going to a movie? Only during matinee showings AND you are 12 years old until you’re 16. At a restaurant, you’re also 9 forever.

Going to fast food (with any adult), you only order off of the dollar menu.”

5. Don’t say a word.

“I was talking to a friend and she stopped me and said, “you don’t tell people what goes on inside of this house, do you?”

No of course not, I lied, because if I’d said yes, she’d manipulate my father into beating my a** within an inch of my life.

She pretty much got my father to beat me whenever she wanted it.”

6. Borrowing and burning.

“Generous borrowing and “burning” culture.

Everything you own is available to be borrowed by other poor people. My family had an extensive movie collection (especially when we could record movies from cable to VHS tapes), and our neighborhood friends were welcome to borrow what they needed.

Games, movies, CDs. We swapped and borrowed a lot. Often times, it was only long enough to burn a copy to have for oneself.”

7. Life lessons.

“My father was constantly driving these two things into my head since I was old enough to remember: 1). Hard Work will set you free 2). You WILL NOT get anyone pregnant.

He never meant that hard work would make you rich. He meant that if you’re willing to work hard, you can always work some s**t job that puts food on the table, and you’ll be so exhausted by days end, you can rest.

In my father’s eyes food on the table and a good night’s rest was all a person really needed. The pregnancy thing was totally about shame. He grew up in the deep South with a Baptist preacher father. My father was around 6-7 in the early 1950’s when his oldest brother (15) got a girl (18) in the church preggo.

The resulting shame and shunning from the community that ensued drove my father’s mother to suicide. I’m sure to some degree, he blames his current life on the pregnancy that he had nothing to do with.”

8. Hide it.

“Hide money or it will be “borrowed.” Also, don’t get attached to anything because if it’s any good it’ll be sold in a yard sale, and if it has any value it will be pawned.

I got the same CD player for three Christmases and birthdays in a row…out of pawn for birthday, pawned again a month later, out of pawn for Christmas, pawned again by March, etc.”

9. Wouldn’t trade it.

“Independence at a young age. But also responsibility.

You cook, clean, and pitch in before you are asked. If you’re waiting for an adult to make dinner, you’re going hungry. Also, poor doesn’t mean dirty. You keep what you have nice, clean, and well cared for.

Seriously, I wouldn’t trade my upbringing for anything in the world.”

10. Not all the way.

“Never fill up the gas tank.

You don’t want to be in a situation where you have gas in your car but no groceries.”

11. Hmmmm…

“”The second you become working age, 10+. You will help with bills. You have no choice. Your money is everyone’s money.”

Which is fine, until you realize the new tattoo mom has and dads new TV.”

12. Keep it to yourself.

“Keep your aspirations to yourself.

Telling anyone in your household/social strata about your plans to get out and do better may be met with bitterness and downright ridicule. People will call you uppity for wanting to go to school or stupid for having a career goal that isn’t modest and local and vaguely dead-end.

People will tell you that you have no common sense simply because you refuse to see the world in terms of pure survival.”

13. Just can’t afford it.

“Going to the doctor isn’t an option until your fever is sustained at 104, a bone is broken, or the tooth rotted and won’t fall out on it’s own.

I am in my late 30s with full insurance and still have a hangup about going for medical care.”

What do you think about this?

Speak out in the comments and let us know.

Thanks a lot!

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