Have you ever had to “break up” with a friend before?
I have…and let me tell you it is not fun.
That’s why you need to pay attention to the red flags and not make friends with people who exhibit these in the first place.
So listen up!
Here are some good tips about what to look out for from AskReddit users.
1. All about them.
“Friends that only care to talk about their own success and aren’t genuinely happy for you and yours unless it amounts to less than their own.”
2. Not good traits.
“Really jealous and possessive friends. I’m a jealous person by nature, and even though my jealousy flares up when I see my friends hanging out with other people, I would never let them know.
Why? Because I don’t want them to feel bad about doing the things they love (eg. having a social life outside my little world)
If a person tries to box you up because they want you all to themselves, it’s not a proof of love or companionship. True love (in any kind of relationship like friends, family, lovers) is shown by respect and allowing the other person to have free will.”
3. Can’t be honest.
“Continually feeling like you want to say something but should hold your tongue.”
4. Like a bomb.
“When you hang out with them it feels like you’re defusing a bomb when theres nothing going on right then.”
5. Usually not good news.
“You see you got a private message from them and your gut reaction is to start getting nervous or anxious.
“What is it this time…”.”
6. A lot of backstabbing.
“Friends who gossip excessively.
If they’re talking about other people, chances are they’re talking about you.”
7. This is really annoying.
“Being dismissive of all your interests and achievements.
Meanwhile everything they do, no matter how mundane, is amazing.”
8. Needy Needy Needy.
“Always asking for favours but never there when you need them to return one.”
9. Let me breathe, please.
“Friends that don’t let you have any other friends and require 100% of your time when they can’t give you the same.”
10. Gets very exhausting.
“They call you only when they need you.
And then you feel guilty when you get mad because they’ve had a rough upbringing or something. And you feel like a bad friend and like maybe you’re overreacting. Because you know, they’ve been through a lot.
But still you want to vent to them about your problems because they might be able to sympathize but then you think that their problems have been worse than yours so you really can’t complain because in comparison you don’t have shit to complain about.
And they don’t call you or text you for a few months… but suddenly they get into an argument with somebody and they’re always in the right and they need somebody to reassure them that they deserve better.”
11. A big list.
“Friends who are good to you when one on one but constantly put you down In group settings. This is a big sign of insecurity/jealousy.
Other signs: inappropriate attention seeking behaviors, trying to twist the situation on you when confronted about things, not respecting your boundaries, is super friendly with new people but in a disingenuous “I wanna be liked the most” way.
Constant gaslighting, getting mad at you for not going by the exact same moral playbook as them, when in group settings they get really uncomfortable and try to change the subject or put you down extra if attention is on you, acting they like can take constructive feedback but actually taking it out on you in small ways throughout the rest of the day.”
12. They’re never wrong.
“Inability or unwillingness to apologize when he or she does something wrong.
It’s symptomatic of an ego issue that will eventually infect every aspect of your friendship.”
13. Uhhhh, that’s weird.
“My “best friend” in high school once specifically requested for me to post a picture of us for National Best Friend Day, or some similar holiday. I asked if she’d be posting a picture of us too.
“No, I have a lot of best friends. But I’m your main best friend so you should post a picture of us.” Was her response.
The next couple years were full of back stabbing & gas lighting, complete with occasional fallings out until we finally stopped speaking. Looking back, I can’t believe I didn’t see it coming.”
14. Up to no good.
“When they push other people out of the friend group. It happened in my group where there were 5 of us, she joined and basically bullied 3 out of the group. But it wasn’t obvious bullying.
A lot of things change, next thing I know I’m being treated like shit to the point I hate myself. Me and my friend managed to leave and make friends with the original 5 again.
The one that kicked everyone out is very social and no one rly likes her bc she’s not nice but she’s now found herself with no friends.”
15. Boundaries are important.
“You’ll gladly do a favor for them or help them out, but when you need something, they won’t do it, and act like you’re ridiculous for asking.
Also- when friends don’t respect boundaries.”
Well, now you know what to look out for, right?
What about you? Do you have any good advice in this department?
If so, please share it with us in the comments.
The post People Discuss What Red Flags to Look out for in Friendships appeared first on UberFacts.