If there’s one thing I know for sure after having various public-facing jobs for many of those years, it’s that human beings have the potential to really shock the sh*t out of you.
No matter how savvy or cynical you think you are, I promise there are people out there just waiting to surprise you – good or bad – a fact that these 17 people now know from experience.
17. Depression is an ugly monster.
“I literally hate the person I am right now”
Edit: Genuine, kind, caring person. Really left me speechless
16. Hmm, that seems like none of your business.
“do you finger yourself?”
-random friend of a former roommate, 10 minutes after meeting me
15. Avoid your mother when her friends and wine are involved.
“He(me) was an accident and (my dad) did not want to have kids, I was not going to get an abortion, so we got divorced.”
Something like that. I was 10. She always told me that they got married too young and wanted different things out of life. Don’t eavesdrop on your mom’s conversations with her friends drinking wine. Explains why my dad blows me off most of his weekends and when I’m there, I’m just kinda there and he ignores me.
14. Well if that isn’t a way to kill a conversation.
“Let me guess, you probably think fossils are real, don’t you?”
what
13. People say this shit way too often.
“she probably let herself get abused when she was younger”
12. That takes at least thirty seconds to process.
“Babe, you know how much I love you so dont be mad but I’ve been sleeping with your cousin for a while and we are in love and I’m gonna need you to support me on this. Also, if her husband calls, tell him she is with you.”
Needless to say the speechless portion didnt last too long.
11. It just makes you stop and think.
A colleague calling her own son “son of a bitch”.
10. I am not even ashamed that this could have been my husband.
We were in a grocery store, starting to head down an aisle, when a man stopped us and said:
“I’d recommend avoiding this aisle – my wife just cut a wicked fart.” His candor left us speechless.
Sure enough, even in the next aisle, we could smell it wafting in our direction.
9. Delete.
“The reason I think I’m always right is because I always am”
The guy was saying this while trying to argue that someone was wrong to call him arrogant.
8. That is one mad lady.
ex-girlfriend to me
“I hope that some day you’ll hate someone as much as I hate you.”
7. None of that is anyone else’s business.
A friend and I were in a store buying mannequins for our thrifting business. The guy who owns the store pointed to a specific mannequin and said:
‘This one has great t***. Not like my sister in law’s. She breastfed her baby and one day she whipped them out to feed him and they looked like fried eggs. RUINED FOREVER. My wife is in her 70’s and she has perky little t*** because she didn’t breastfeed our kids.”
Then he went on to tell us how his daughter breastfeeds and how great it is for babies. Wtf. We had known this guy all of 30 seconds before he unloaded this breastfeeding PSA on us
6. I mean those ellipses go on and on.
Me: “…and just a heads up, we close at 5pm today.”
Customer: “No you don’t.”
Me: “…”
5. What can you say to that, honestly?
“You shouldn’t microwave water; it takes the oxygen out.”
4. She’s been waiting for that moment for awhile.
I was talking to someone about something unimportant and I jokingly said to my friend, what could you possibly hate about me? Well, she goes on this long ass rant saying that I’m over dramatic, hypocritical, arrogant, and a political stereotype. I don’t even know what she meant with half of the things she was saying; she said I was a hypocrite for not liking anime.
3. It’s always true.
“You teach people how to treat you”
Mine blowing moment of realization that if I continued to say I suck and that no one should trust me with things, they will start to believe me and treat me as such.
2. You’re a time thief!
“Looking at your phone at work is the same thing as showing up to work drunk or on drugs”
1. Yes, there is racism in America.
Was at a small, shitty dinner that’s gone now. Two older couples were at the next booth over, talking about how one couple was trying to sell their house. They were complaining that no one would want to buy it, since a black family moved in next door. The other guy said ” it’s simple, when you’re walking in the yard with potential buyers and you see the neighbor, ask him how the flowers are coming along this year. They’ll just assume he’s the gardener! “
See what I mean?
What experience would you add to this list? Share it in the comments!
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