If you’re wondering if you’re the only person out there with crazy kids, a life that always feels up in the air, and a job that just won’t quit – in the year on steroids – you’re definitely not.
And if you need proof, let me offer up these 14 parents who are hilariously muddling through it all, just like the rest of us.
14. It’s important to be practical.
I approve of this parenting tactic.
3-year-old: mama why do people get married?
Me: well, when two people love each other very much it can be a good thing to do for tax purposes.— Felicia Day (@feliciaday) July 1, 2020
13. Just living the dream here, people.
The things no one tells you, I swear.
Let’s get married and have kids so instead of relaxing on the beach you can keep sand out of their mouth while I blow up a raft and they ask if there is a pool.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 1, 2020
12. Given the current state of the world, they’re learning it sooner.
Dammit.
A dark day for parents is when their child learns what "hypocrite" means.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 29, 2020
11. This child is going places.
Not sure where yet; have to wait and see.
Walking at nine months. Scamming at ten months. Our baby girl
(
: @postracialist) pic.twitter.com/xJcRqvU0Jf
— Decker Ngongang (@Ngongang) July 1, 2020
10. They weren’t bothering you though.
I fail to see the issue.
I was celebrating the fact my kids were all playing together nicely.
Turns out my 8yo opened a Sharpie “tattoo shop” in his bedroom.
My 2yo has “tattoo” barbed wire across her chest and a skull with DEADLOCK scrolled down her arm.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) July 1, 2020
9. Never rob a house with young kids.
Or older kids parents don’t have money or nice things lol.
Good luck robbing my house. My home security system is LEGOs on the floor.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 29, 2020
8. Hey, you gotta ask for what you want.
Otherwise you won’t get it for sure.
My son lost his tooth yesterday and I go to his room last night to grab the tooth in exchange for some $$$… And this is the message he wrote…
with full on instructions
pic.twitter.com/jiMm5y9UF9
— Chef Lauren (@ChefLaurenW) July 2, 2020
7. A “miracle.” Sure.
Let’s go with that.
my daughter threw a tantrum because she felt it was too early to be spoken to and it really is a miracle that we create little versions of ourselves
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) July 2, 2020
6. Otherwise you could be taken straight jail.
I don’t make the rules, guys.
By law, all dads who pick up a packed suitcase to load into the car have to say, “Jeez, what did you put in here, a dead body?”
— SpacedMom (@copymama) June 27, 2020
5. You can say you’ve had your workout today.
Now go and get a glass of wine.
Forget taking a yoga class. Once you’ve taken 30 minutes to exit a baby’s room in slow motion, you’ll know every position well enough to teach a yoga class.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) June 28, 2020
4. She handled that about as well as can be expected.
Which is to say, probably laughing herself to death.
My 4-year-old wanted to use talk-to-text to send a message to his aunt. This is what was sent. My 4-year-old is THE world's worst rapper. pic.twitter.com/Bq15aRcH1a
— A Bearer Of Dad News
(@HomeWithPeanut) July 2, 2020
3. It’s never really what you expect on any given day.
That keeps it interesting, I suppose.
A surprising amount of parenting is bribing your kids with things you don’t want to do, then breathing a sigh of relief when they mess it up so you don’t have to deliver.
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) June 28, 2020
2. Kid has your number.
That’s what you get for raising him right.
Me, to 8y.o: “Why do you watch YouTube videos of other people playing video games when you could play them yourself?”
8: “Well, why do YOU watch TikTok videos of people dancing when you could do the dances yourself?”
Well played, kid.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) July 1, 2020
1. But seriously don’t do this.
It’s terrible advice.
If you want to know what you really look like hand your phone to a 5-year-old to take a picture.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) June 29, 2020
I’m definitely feeling more at home in my zany life!
What’s the silliest happening at your house since all of this started? We’d love to hear the story in the comments!
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