Enjoy These Stories of Food Delivery with a Little Mayhem Added to the Order

All these web-based food delivery companies sure make our lives convenient, don’t they? But, sometimes it doesn’t work out exactly the way it’s supposed to.

While we wait for them to deliver some consistency, scroll through these times where food delivery services brought a side order of weird to the night.

1. Foreign language lessons?

Photo Credit: Twitter

2. A side of romance?

Photo Credit: Reddit

3. A side of nookie?

Photo Credit: Reddit

4. A side of sarcasm?

Photo Credit: Lamebook

5. A side of nothing to go with your nothing?

Photo Credit: Twitter

6. Not a side of ranch.

Photo Credit: Reddit

7. A side of fast and furious?

Photo Credit: Imgur

8. A side of drama?

Photo Credit: Twitter

Whatever you wanted to eat, you probably won’t get it. But we keep trying because we want it to work so badly. In the meantime, enjoy your hot and juicy randomness.

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911 Operators Remember the Calls They’ll Never Forget

It should be no secret that the people on the other end of the 9-1-1 line have super stressful jobs. They’re talking to human beings in their most desperate moments (and also some stupid and hilarious moments, of course), so of course they have some pretty good stories.

Like the 17 below, categorized by people on the job as totally “unforgettable.”

#17. It was slugs.

I’ll go with a lighter one. I once had an elderly woman complain that gang members tagged her shed. She also said she didn’t want a black deputy (this is the south). The (black) deputy arrived and found that it wasnt spray paint, but that her shed was so dirty that slugs had eaten paths in the filth that created patterns.

#16. Miscommunication can be horrifying.

Had some one call saying a man had been killed by a goat. Turns out goat is what they also call the machine that picks oranges off of trees. Miscommunication can be horrifying.

#15. She’d been laying down in the back seat without her seatbelt on.

This one still bothers me because it’s so fresh and our community is hurting from it as well. Took a call from a hysterical woman advising me of a rollover crash that happened near her house. She lives near the top of a blind hill that people like to “jump” (like catching that butterfly feeling in your stomach, although you can get air in the right vehicle). She tells me that a girl is laying on the ground about 30 feet or so from the vehicle.

When asked if the girl is alive, she says, “Oh yes, honey she’s wiggling around on the ground. My daughter is a nurse, she’s checking on her now.” Awesome. We hardly ever are lucky enough to have a trained professional on scene before a med unit can get there. But then she tells me her daughter is starting CPR. To be honest, that didn’t surprise me. My caller was getting hysterical again and we already had first responders on the way, so I started asking more questions about the scene. Her daughter breaks CPR to get on the phone with me. Tells me she can do compressions only, that the girl’s jaw is completely gone.

A bit stunned, I tell her to continue compressions. But rather than getting put back on with the original caller, I hear the scared voice of a teenage girl, the driver. “Is my friend going to be okay?” I can’t find anything to say for a moment. Finally, after what seemed to be too long, I say “They’re doing CPR, dear. And we have help on the way. Are you and the other passenger okay?” “We’re fine. Just please tell me she’s okay.” The girl on the ground was confirmed D.O.A. She had been laying down in the back seat without her seat belt on because she had a headache. She was 15.

#14. The type of scream…

Answered to the sounds of a couple of women absolutely screaming and wailing (I’m sure anyone that has done the job long enough knows the type of scream I mean – that blood curdling scream of someone in genuine anguish). Knew something was up and got police and ambulance on the way. Trying to get them on the phone to get details and a boy of no more than five years old comes on the phone and says “my daddy is swinging from the roof and his eyes are open and staring”.

He had hung himself while his family were out doing their shopping.

#13. Pretty messed up.

This actually happened a few days ago. I’m an ER tech, but one of our unit secretaries (someone who transfers calls and does other important tasks that keeps the place afloat) is an EMT in the next county over. I was waiting for a patient to return to their room, talking with her, when she looks down at her phone. She tells me she has the dispatch app or whatever for ambulances and fire trucks, and every firehall in the county had just received a call about a possible decomposing body. Apparently the neighbor called about a terrible smell coming from the property. Hazmat was called and everything, expecting a dead human body.

Once they broke into the house, they found that it wasn’t a dead human, but 38 dogs in the house. 11 of the dogs were dead and in “varying states of decomposition”. The place is still pretty much under wraps, but 16 more dogs were found in the shed yesterday. The two people who owned the house have since been arrested and charged with 51 counts of animal cruelty. All of the animals left alive were taken to the humane society, where half of the county has just about donated food or blankets.

The whole thing is pretty messed up, but I now for sure respect the hell out of the EMTs and paramedics that walk through our doors everyday. They really never know what they’re going to see when they walk into a place.

Here’s the most recent article: https://www.carrollcountytimes.com/news/local/cc-dogs-cruelty-040919-story,amp.html

#12. Biggest WTF.

Well, my buddy is a fireman and dispatch had just alerted them of a man having chest pains. They get to the guys house, and as soon as they open the door, the dudes dog runs outside. The dude shouts “you let my dog out! go get my dog! Please!” So my buddy immediately starts chasing the dog.

He catches the dog, comes back to the house, and when he walks in the door he sees that the man having “chest pains” had actually shot a HOLE IN HIS CHEST while cleaning his gun.

Old dude shoots himself in the chest, tells 911 it’s chest pains, and when help arrives, he makes them go chase his dog down before tending to his own life threatening wound. Biggest WTF of my buddies career

#11. It really messed with my head.

I’ve been a 911 dispatcher for 11 years in a medium size center (population ~180,000). We have more than our share of crazy calls but there are only a few calls that have stuck with me. For me the ones that I can’t get rid of aren’t even close to being the craziest or most brutal.

7-8 years ago I took a 911 call from a man who came home to find his adult sister had been raped and beaten. The suspect had wrapped a telephone cord around her neck then tried to push her through the window of the apartment. He was understandably very distraught. She was still alive and was able to talk to me. She had not been blindfolded and I was certain I could get a description of the person who had done this to her. She answered all of my other questions but absolutely refused to give me any info on the suspect. I later found out that the reason was self-preservation, the person who did it was the brother who called 911 for help. He was so believable it really messed with my head. I also felt horrible that I had continued pressing her for info with the person who hurt her was right there and that I could have potentially put her in more danger without realizing.

#10. He couldn’t let it go.

Not me, but my sister is a dispatcher. One time she received a call from a man who said he just killed his sister and brother. She kept him on the phone for 5 or 6 minutes to make sure he didn’t run before officers arrived. She got him to admit they had all been drinking and playing cards, then got into an argument when one of them accused the other of cheating. The other two went to bed, but this guy stayed up stewing. Apparently he couldn’t let it go. He shot each of them in their beds while they slept, then called 911. I heard a partial recording of the call and she sounded calm AF. She told me she was screaming on the inside the entire time.

#9. Got you now, you little sh*t.

I have a few.

I took a call from a man who’s ~1 year old daughter fell in the pool while unattended. At the time of the call she was not breathing, unresponsive, and had no pulse. My partner dispatched out fire and EMS while I was on the phone. Got the child’s mother to start CPR. Fortunately she was certified and didn’t require very much instruction at all, just had to tell her to count her compressions out loud so I could keep up. Before first responders arrived, the baby starts breathing again. I believe she sustained some brain injury but nothing life threatening. Had to go take a walk around the block after that one. Please please please, if you aren’t CPR certified, get certified. It very well may have been the difference between that child living and dying.

On a lighter note, I also had a guy call in claiming he was having a heart attack. None of the info I got from this guy indicated he was even remotely at risk for one. Mid 20s male, average weight, no history of heart problems (or any other medical history for that matter). Turns out he had smoked some particularly strong pot about 30 minutes prior to calling. Absolutely nothing wrong with him other than he was stoned stupid. We got a pretty good laugh out of that one.

I also took a call from a kid who was about 10 years old who thought it would be funny to prank call 911. He started off by saying there was a fire. I could hear him giggling in the background. Followed that up with meowing at me over the phone. Managed to get a good location off the call and got his address. Read the address to him and asked if that’s where he lives. CLICK. Alright, got you now, you little shit. Had a deputy go out to the house as is our policy and he explained the situation to the parents. Deputy told me later the kid got the ass chewing of a lifetime. Super gratifying.

#8. We still had to check for spiders.

“A woman complaining of spiders in her vagina”

In college, I worked as an EMT in a major city. Not the craziest call I ever had but one of the wackiest call outs we ever got was to respond to “a woman complaining of spiders in her vagina”. I’ll never forget pulling up to this major intersection where, sure enough, there’s this old lady lying on the sidewalk with her pants off and legs spread up in the air. Turns out it was this transient lady in her 70s who had been having some wild hallucinations.

We still had to check for spiders ?

#7. It was a wild time.

A woman masturbating on the phone.

The first time she called she sounded normal at first. Asked for an officer that never worked here. General conversation about this officer while she progressively got more.. extreme with her moaning. I eventually (and gracefully) ended the conversation. It was a wild time. I still remember her name and voice.

The second and third times she called I asked if it was her and she hung up right away.

Why are you like this Ms. Roberts? What is your end game?

Edit: For clarification, we traced the number down to a woman in Florida. We’re located in Missouri and our agency is tiny (part of why I like this job). Hunting her down and bringing her to justice probably would have gotten her offwouldn’t have been worth the hassle.

#6. It will stick with me forever.

Student Paramedic here. Had a call being general broadcasted over radio when I was chilling in base with my mentor (we were on a 2 man car ambulance) operator who was broadcasting said something along the lines of: “female, reportedly unconscious, police on scene, major trauma (pause)… CPR in progress confirmed arrest by police on scene.”

my mentor looks at me, we’re off in 30 mins at the end of a night shift but we go anyway. We’re around the corner. Make it there in no time at all. There’s police EVERYWHERE. at least 7 squad cars. I’m nervous as hell and so is my mentor. As we approach the house, a man emerges, handcuffed by police. He looks content enough and smiles at us as we walk by. Police shout for us to hurry, we run over with equipment to front door and are met with one of the worst scenes I’ve ever seen and will always be there in my mind.

There’s a woman lying on the ground, with the left side of her head caved in, blood absolutely all over the place and brain matter scattered around the floor too. Police are doing CPR, we stop them when we see the Patient has signs of pooling and rigor mortis. I’m literally sweating and on the verge of tears, this is not how I wanted my shift to end. Then, we hear from behind us more police in the house and the sounds of children. 2 kids are escorted out of a bedroom behind us with their eyes covered and one of them asks:”what’s going on Where’s Mommy?”. My heart melted. I’ve never been exactly traumatised by a job but those kids being shielded from what just happened to their mother will stick with me forever.

I bring equipment back to the ambulance as my mentor starts to do paperwork and we wait for someone to move the body. Social services arrive and take the kids, blissfully unaware of what’s just happened. Was off 3 hours late after all the paperwork and interviewing from police. Good job, but man has it lefts it’s mark on me.

#5. Profoundly sad.

Older lady, I want to say maybe early 70s, calls in with a sort of polite urgency in her voice, tells me she thinks she’s having a stroke. Tells me she has her grandchild at the house with her, asks me to call her daughter to come get the child.

By the time she’s done giving me the phone number there’s just a very slight slur in her speech. By the time EMS got there (probably no more than 5 minutes or so) I couldn’t understand a thing she was saying. Fascinating, disturbing, and profoundly sad hearing someone stroke out on the phone as they’re talking to you.

#4. Not something I’ll ever forget.

For me, the worst ones are always the calls you can relate to on a personal level. I took a call last month from a father who discovered his son with a bag over his head and a note next to his body. I’ve taken a ton of suicide calls, but this one was particularly difficult for me because the son was my age, and the way the father pleaded with his son was almost exactly the same way I’ve imagined my dad if I were to ever do the same. I’ve had the same “Come on, buddy! Don’t do this to me!” running in my head at least 2-3 times a day since.

Also, not technically a call but my first shift on my own, I dispatched the deputy I did my ride along with to a domestic that he ended up being shot and killed at. Hearing his blood-gurgled “shots fired” scream on the radio won’t be something I’ll ever forget.

#3. She was laughing so hard she could barely give me her safety password.

I was a dispatcher for a residential alarm company similar to ADT. I would call people when their alarm was tripped and ask them if they were okay.
One day I received a signal from a residence from a glass break sensor on a window in the bathroom.
When i called the lady was laughing so hard she could barely give me her safety password.
Turns out she was cleaning her bathroom and when she bent over she farted so hard and loud it set off the sensor on the bathroom window.

#2. Not even a little bit.

Not 911, but tele-nursing, people called me plenty when it should have been 911.

Grandma, calls me about her 16 year old, 40 week pregnant, grand daughter.

GM: Hey my grandbaby is pregnant and she just went to pee and said the cord is hanging out….is that normal?

Me: No…..not even a little bit

#1. Kindness and compassion in his last moments.

A young man 23 years old called and told me he was going to commit suicide. He was my first call of my shift that day, very early in the morning. He planned to set his car on fire with himself inside. He was upset and crying but he apologized to me. He said he was sorry I picked up the phone and he was sorry for how this was going to affect me. He hung up on me and the second time I was speaking to him I could hear liquid splashing in the background. He ended hanging up again and I never got him back. He did end up setting the on fire and it was fully engulfed by the time anyone got there. I’ll never forget his name or voice and I simply hope I showed him kindness and compassion in his last moments.

Edit: Thank you for the gold and silver kind strangers! I appreciate all the comments. I’m fine. Im lucky enough to have an amazing support system in my co-workers and I have an awesome spouse to keep me grounded. This call made me a better dispatcher. It’s easy to become desensitized to the horrific things we hear and this young man renewed my passion for helping people.

I couldn’t do it. Glad others can!

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In the Town of Green…

In the Town of Green Bank WV it is illegal to use any WiFi and cellphones. This town is part of the National Radio Quiet Zone, in which radio transmissions are heavily restricted by law to facilitate scientific research and the gathering of military intelligence.

The oldest known piece…

The oldest known piece of music is a drinking song called the Epitaph of Seikilos. Its lyrics include the line “Life exists only for a short while, and time demands its toll.”

You’ll Find These True Crime Tweets Hilarious, but Your Friends Will Think You’re Disturbed

True crime fans are a different breed, and I’m one of them.

We laugh in the face of danger… as long as it’s on television, in a book or on a podcast. Then we’re brave AF!

These 15 tweets just scream “true crime lovers unite” so tuck in and enjoy!

1. All good in the hood…

2. Everybody’s got their pastimes…

3. That’s dedication!

4. Sounds like you’ll find out eventually!

5. I have an idea…

6. She smart…

7. Really though…

8. Listen here gurlll…

9. If they only knew…

10. Impressive…

11. Parents!? What’s wrong with you?!???

12. If you’re care to not get murdered… this is self care.

13. Detective material…

14. Yes you do.

15. Step away from the cliff…

So, real talk… if an actual murderer came along… would you be ready?!

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8 Facts About “Blazing Saddles” That Will Make You Say Yee-Haw!

The subversive satire Blazing Saddles takes on racism and prejudice in a way that is still winning over fans four decades later. It’s perhaps Mel Brooks’ most beloved film.

Below are 8 howl-worthy facts that will make you want to stand up and cheer – and give it a re-watch, too.

#8. Slim Pickens slept outside, with his Winchester, to get into character.

To get into Taggart’s mind, Slim Pickens grabbed his gun and slept under the stars. That’s dedication!

#7. It was originally titled Ted X: An Homage To Malcom X.

Other rejected titles were Black Bart and The Purple Sage, and the final title came to Brooks while he was taking a shower.

#6. Gene Wilder wasn’t even close to Brooks’ first choice.

Though Brooks described Wilder’s eventual performance as “magnificent” in the DVD documentary, many actors (including Johnny Carson) turned the part down before Brooks cast…Gig Young.

Then Young was removed from the role when he became violently ill from alcohol abuse on the first day of filming and everyone realized that having an alcoholic play an alcoholic probably wasn’t the best idea.

“We draped Gig Young’s legs over and hung him upside down. And he started to talk and he started shaking. I said, ‘This guy’s giving me a lot. He is giving plenty. He’s giving me the old alky shake. Great.’ And then it got serious, because the shaking never stopped and green stuff started spewing out of his mouth and nose, and he started screaming. And I said, ‘That’s the last time I’ll ever cast anybody who really is that person.’ If you want an alcoholic, don’t cast an alcoholic. …Anyway, poor Gig Young, it was the first shot on Friday, nine in the morning, and an ambulance came and took him away. I had no movie.”

Wilder took over almost immediately and the rest is history.

#5. John Wayne declined a role.

The Duke found the script funny but didn’t think it aligned with his resume and career. He did say, “I’ll be the first one in line to see it!”

#4. Wilder pitched the idea of Young Frankenstein while on set.

Young Frankenstein, the movie that followed up Blazing Saddles for Brooks, was pitched by Gene Wilder on set.

“His idea was very simple. ‘What if the grandson of Dr. Frankenstein wanted nothing to do with the family whatsoever? He was ashamed of those wackos.’ I said, ‘That’s funny.’

#3. It was the first movie that audiences heard someone fart onscreen.

Brooks once saidBlazing Saddles, for me, was a film that truly broke ground. It also broke wind…and maybe that’s why it broke ground.”

He argued that cowboys ate so many beans that there was no way they didn’t have gas, and out came the campfire scene that made movie history.

#2. It almost spawned a television series.

A pilot called Black Bart was filmed in 1975, but was never picked up.

#1. The character of Mongo was played by a former NFL player.

Alex Karras was a Detroit Lions’ defensive tackle who started appearing in films in the 1960s. He continued acting and is probably best known for the role of George Papadapolis on Webster.

 

Definitely one to pull out for your kids (once they’re old enough, of course).

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A Guy with a Saxophone Serenaded Cows by the Roadside and It Is Adorable

Cows lead a pretty boring existence and they need a little entertainment once in a while, just like humans. That’s why Rick Herrmann nailed it when he stopped on a rural road in Oregon and serenaded a pasture full of cows with his saxophone.

Rick’s daughter, Erin Herrmann, posted the videos her father playing his smooth sax to the cattle. The crowd of cows just couldn’t resist these silky tunes.

The videos went viral because… duh!

Wait for the neighbor to shout “Tequila” at the end of this one!

I love it!

Herrmann said he’s been playing the sax for about seven months, and when he saw a video of people playing music for animals him and his wife took a ride so he could play for some cows nearby.

“I thought they might be curious. I guess I didn’t expect them to crowd the fence so much.”

Erin Herrmann said that the cows appreciated her father’s playing much more than the family dog.

“Our dog, Piper, hates the noise so much, she even chewed up all his reeds once. My dad was running by the field on June 25 and thought that maybe the cows would appreciate his music more than Piper would. He was definitely right! We always talk to and go see the cows near the house because they are his favorite animal and they make his so happy … He’s just such a good hearted guy and likes to be goofy and enjoy the simple things in life! He loves that he’s making people so happy!”

The story went viral in such a big way that even legendary sax player Kenny G weighed in on the story.

Nice work, Mr. Herrmann, and keep at it!

There are a lot of animals out there who wouldn’t mind a break from their daily routines.

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What Does It Really Mean When Your Cat Purrs?

Is there anything better than a cat purring on your lap? No way!

But do you know what that sound really means?

Photo Credit: Max Pixel

Most house cat behaviors are habits that have been with these animals since before they become domesticated thousands of years ago, which makes what they are telling us when they purr even more intriguing.

Experts speculate purring comes from the voicebox where vibrations originate as cats breathe.

Fun fact: lions and tigers don’t purr. This may have to do with how they roar, but no one knows for sure why, and the lions and tigers certainly aren’t explaining themselves. However, other big cats like cheetahs and snow leopards do purr. But they don’t really roar.

Hmmm…

Photo Credit: Von.grzanka CC BY-SA 3.0

Something most people agree upon is that among all the cat behaviors (like hissing, growling and scent rubbing) purring seems to signify happiness. It’s probably a behavior passed down from the mother who used the purr to show safety and security.

The kittens, in turn, purr as they get to feed from the mother. Then, when they’re older and they have human owners to feed them, cats may purr to say, “feed me.” Or, they may purr to show other cats safety and security, as in, “I’m not going to cause you any trouble.”

Purring has also been observed in cats as they give birth and in other distressing situations. This leads some behaviorists to say purring may release hormones that minimize pain or bring about calm.

Photo Credit: Pxhere

Strangely, this may work on humans as well. Research shows owning cats, and dogs, as pets offers many benefits, such as…

  • Decreased blood pressure
  • Decreased cholesterol levels
  • Decreased triglyceride levels
  • Decreased feelings of loneliness
  • Increased opportunities for exercise and outdoor activities
  • Increased opportunities for socialization

So that’s awesome!

Even though we may never know for sure, purring is understood almost universally to be a sign of happiness and calm. For that reason, simply hearing a cat purr puts people in that frame of mind. Humans may even respond to cat purrs like baby coos as the sounds are said to be similar in pitch.

So, we don’t know for sure why or how cats purr. But we know we like it and we know it makes us calmer hearing it.

And that’s probably enough.

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These 30 Kids Are Really Bad at Hide-And-Seek

Not everybody can be a natural at hide-and-seek. For some, it takes practice.

In homage to all of those people, here are 30 kids who are still learning the ropes of the game:

#30. This one’s pretty impressive, but also a poor spot.

Photo Credit: Jackie Blackshear

#29. A blindingly bad idea.

Photo Credit: imgur

#28. So much wrong going on.

Photo Credit: greecedlightnin

#27. Sometimes, you gotta bag it up.

Photo Credit: Stephlynn3

#26. Points for attempted camo.

Photo Credit: octbar

I had a hard time deciding how to rank? Cutest? Worst? Funniest.

I’m still not sure how I decided to rank them, but I know they’re all f’n awesome.