Jimmy Fallon tosses hashtags out to his viewers and asks for them to basically write his jokes for him, and even though he – like other comedians these days – is doing his show from home, people are still coming through.
Like these 14 people, who showed up with some truly hilarious quotes from their time cooped up at home.
14. How about neither, because nothing is wrong with you!
Seriously, though, if you have a problem, get help.
When this is over do I call weight watchers or AA? #quarantinequotes
—
Applestina
(@Applestina219) April 20, 2020
13. Hahahaha what on earth.
I wonder if Mom knows?
I work in a grocery store and I heard a kid say “look dad, toilet paper! We can stop using mom’s old clothes.” #QuarantineQuotes
— vicki (@vickilovestacos) April 20, 2020
12. She’s just trying to save you the embarrassment.
And also her career.
#quarantinequotes pic.twitter.com/180OhgQ8xd
— Molly B (@calvinhobbes25) April 20, 2020
11. I’m sure you still look beautiful.
Because no one should care what you weigh.
Forget the Freshman 15, I just put on the Covid 19#QuarantineQuotes
— SKnubes (@sknuble) April 20, 2020
10. Mind your business is the best advice a mother can give, honestly.
Maybe we should do a fire drill at my house.
#QuarentineQuotes
I saw my next door neighbor’s kids locked outside their house today.
I called my neighbor and she told me to mind my own business, we were having a Home School fire drill.— Cheryl Rick Klein (@cherylt2000) April 20, 2020
9. I don’t feel like I need to add anything here.
It’s really funny, though, right?
I start every day by saying to myself “it could be worse, I could be sharing a house with Donald Trump” #QuarantineQuotes
—
Vicki
8. The ratty ones just won’t do for that work call tomorrow.
What would people think?!
My husband last night said, “we need to hurry up and get home. I need to wash my work pajamas ” #QuarantineQuotes
— Katie Garcia (@Hapagarcia08) April 20, 2020
7. That’s not something my parents would have ever said when I was in high school.
I was suuuuper popular, y’all.
“Boy, I sure wished somebody would toilet paper our house!” #QuarantineQuotes
— Ryan Bartholomee (@RyanBartholomee) April 20, 2020
6. There’s only one way to find out.
But you can always try again tomorrow.
My 10 year old on the way to the mailbox
“I just don’t know if my feet can carry me that far anymore”#quarantinequotes
— Heidi (@redoverred) April 20, 2020
5. Because sometimes it’s just really hard to wait until after bedtime.
And also no one has a bedtime anymore.
“Can you watch the kids for a minute, I’m going to eat my icecream in the bathroom.” #QuarantineQuotes
— Celene (@celenebeann) April 20, 2020
4. A lot less “winning money,” though.
And also less fun. Admit it.
Quarantine is like Vegas. No one knows what time it is or what day it is and everyone is drunk. #QuarantineQuotes
— Jody Pierce (@lonestarjody) April 20, 2020
3. Username checks out.
But I mean, she’s not wrong.
If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper for a 14-day quarantine, you probably should have been seeing a doctor long before COVID-19 #QuarantineQuotes
— Bitcoin Benny (@bennydoda01) April 20, 2020
2. I assume you said thank you.
And then maybe cried yourself to sleep.
I had a parent of one of my students tell me “You’re getting nothing but alcohol as gifts from now on!” #QuarantineQuotes
— Ryan Stilwell (@RyGuy0793) April 20, 2020
1. Hahahaha bless his heart.
It’s so sweet that he thinks he’s going to school.
Six year old son – “I don’t go to regular school anymore. I go to private school.” #quarantinequotes
— nkygirl (@pyounger29) April 20, 2020
This was exactly what I needed today, y’all! How about you?
Do you have something funny to add to the list of quotes? Share it with us in the comments!
The post Jimmy Fallon Asked Viewers for Their Best #QuarantineQuotes and These Folks Delivered appeared first on UberFacts.