Once, I had a married friend tell me, “if you think dating someone can get heated, just wait until you get married. It’s like a kettle just waiting to explode at any moment.”
That sounds like a lot of fun! Right?!?!
Well, you do what you want with that information, but I think we can all agree that marriage takes a lot of patience and compromise…and sometimes those things only happen on one side.
Hey, we don’t make the rules, we just report them to you.
Take a look at these funny marriage tweets and let us know if any of these situations look familiar.
1. A classic Dad joke.
You had to do it!
I noticed my wife and kids were wearing vests so I put one on just so I could say “vest day ever” like a million times. Then I took it off just so I could mention that I wasn’t as invested as they were.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 20, 2020
2. That’s the ultimate test.
Yup, they’re good to go!
Husband: Are these mashed potatoes ok?
Me: Yes.
Husband: How do you know?
Me: I stuck my finger in them twice when you were in the bathroom.
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) December 24, 2020
3. I think you know what’s for dinner…
Why even bother asking?
My husband just asked me what's for dinner, like he can't pour his own cereal.
—
ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ
4. He’ll never find them there.
Women, take notice of this.
I hid my husband's Christmas presents with the cleaning supplies.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) December 23, 2020
5. That sounds very HOT.
And very exciting! The thrill is not gone!
get married so you can have a 25 minute conversation about when to run the dishwasher
— Vision Bored (@VisionBored1) December 21, 2020
6. This is what 40 looks like.
Hey, just embrace it!
Welcome to 40. I’m excited about my fancy new vacuum and my husband can’t wait to use his new saw on downed tree in our back yard.
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) December 25, 2020
7. It works every time.
I can picture him drifting off to sleep.
The key to picking out a TV show with your spouse is to scroll through Netflix until they have fallen asleep and select the show you want to watch.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 22, 2020
8. You got what you asked for.
Is there a problem?
Wife: yeah *looking up from gift* I asked for something small and sparkly
Me: yes and if you press the button on the yo-yo it lights up
— The Dad (@thedad) December 25, 2020
9. Uh oh…you know he’s gonna mess this up.
There will be Hell to pay.
Sent my husband to the grocery store for specific Christmas sprinkles.
Just saw his phone sitting on the dining room table.
Chaos is about to ensue.
—
MichiMama
10. Do you see this new growth?
No. No, I don’t.
My husband is growing out his beard this month mostly so he can ask us every single morning if we like his beard.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) December 17, 2020
11. Well, someone has to be right.
Marriage sure is grand, isn’t it?
Marriage is a very careful balancing act of two individuals recognizing and unanimously agreeing that one of them is always right
— Maryfairyboberry
(@maryfairybobrry) December 21, 2020
12. Don’t let him sleep soundly.
He definitely doesn’t deserve it.
Sometimes when my husband is sleeping soundly next to me I like to turn his phone's sound on and send him a text asking, "are you awake?".
— The Evolving Arm (@leftarmisme) December 19, 2020
13. What kind of a question of that?
Get that sh*t outta here!
My husband: What do you want to do today?
Me: It’s the day after Christmas. I’m sitting on my ass. Take your overambitiousness elsewhere.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) December 26, 2020
How about you?
Is your old man or old lady driving you nuts right now or are you guys weathering the storm during the pandemic?
Talk to us in the comments and give us a life update!
The post Funny Tweets About the Ups and Downs of Marriage appeared first on UberFacts.