Okay, moms and dads. Toss this little rug rats aside (gently), tune them out for a couple of minutes, and enjoy these hilarious tweets that were composed with you and folks just like you in mind.
If nothing else, the struggles of parenthood seem to bring people together, no matter where they’re from or their background.
So dig in and enjoy a few laughs before the next kid-related emergency occurs.
1. Not feeling it.
Stop assuming all toddlers want to give you a high five.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 20, 2020
2. That’ll show ’em!
Flex on your kids by calling your new dinner recipe "Ew Disgusting" before they do.
— Divergent Mama (@Divergentmama) February 24, 2020
3. Not even close.
I asked my son for a bite of his Chick-fil-A sandwich and he said no but he gave me a kiss on my forehead and told me he loved me “a whole bunch though.”
Not the same, son.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) February 24, 2020
4. Putting on a show.
Oh, your kids sit down and eat dinner? That’s cool. Mine perform interpretive dance in the kitchen while their food gets cold.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) February 24, 2020
5. Got that extra five minutes in.
My daughter woke up at 6:06 today instead of her usual 6:00 because we let her stay up 5 hours past her bedtime last night.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 29, 2020
6. Kind of scary, huh?
Friendly reminder that what you see when you accidentally open your front-facing camera is the same thing your kids see anytime they look up at you.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) February 26, 2020
7. Listen to the doctor.
I took my son to the doctor because he had a fever last night. Dr asked what it was and 10 fronted me out, “Oh she doesn’t know the number. She used her therMOMeter. You know? Kiss on the forehead and then she said oh, you have a fever.”
Dr. nodding his head, “Accurate.”
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) February 28, 2020
8. Definitely your offspring.
My 4yo is in a phase where he refuses to wear jeans because he says they “just aren’t as comfy as my sweatpants” and I have honestly never felt more seen or understood.
— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) February 27, 2020
9. Gonna be a long day.
Thoughts & prayers for my son who thought his phone was charging overnight only to find he must go to school on 6%.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 26, 2020
10. That doesn’t matter.
4 year old came home today and announced he has a girlfriend. She’s older, wears glasses and lives close to the school.
I asked him what her name was. His response: “I don’t know but that’s not important”.
— Mom Like That Podcast (@momlikethatpod) February 28, 2020
11. Maybe not…
Child: Can you make me some tea?
Me: I think you're old enough to make it yourself.[10 minutes later]
Me [cleaning honey off of every visible surface]: Next time let me do it.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) February 27, 2020
12. It’s not possible.
“Moms don’t get sick from raw cookie dough”
-and other lies I tell my kids— Go Ask Your Dad (@_goaskyourdad_) February 28, 2020
13. Raising a genius.
4yo: HELP
Me: are you ok!?
4yo: I'm stuck!
Me, running in: omg
4yo: I can't put my shirt!
Me: those are pants
— Marcy G
(@BunAndLeggings) February 28, 2020
14. That oughta do it.
Our 5yo wrapped a piece of sausage around my finger and called it a “band-aid” so needless to say, he’s my personal physician now.
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) February 28, 2020
15. Just go with it.
8: mommy I want to study pastrami
Me: why pastrami specifically?
8: I’m just super interested in the stars
Me: astronomy you mean astronomy
8: pretty sure it’s pastrami
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) February 28, 2020
Those damn kids! They’re at it again!
Have your little devils done anything crazy or infuriating lately?
Tell us all about it in the comments!
The post Funny Parenting Tweets for All the Moms and Dads appeared first on UberFacts.