Millions of Americans Think Chocolate Milk Comes From Brown Cows

I’ve never thought about the fact that people over the age of 5 might think strawberry, chocolate, and regular milks come from different color cows, but, I mean, if no one ever told you differently…I suppose it could still make sense?

Aside from the fact that you’ve never actually seen a pink cow.

Then again, I live in the middle of the country, where cows appear regularly on the side of the road. So maybe I should give coastal city folk a break?

 

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NAH – this is ridiculous.

It turns out that A LOT of adults believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows. How many, you ask?

Well, according to the Innovation Center for US Dairy’s website, around 16.4 million people across the country.

They know this because they commissioned a survey to see, which found that 7% of respondents think brown cows equal chocolate milk.

Yep, right out of the udder.

This despite the fact that their official statement (and common sense) says, “Chocolate milk – or any flavored milk for that matter – is white cow’s milk with added flavoring and sweeteners.”

And get this: 48% of respondents – which would mean over 154 million people nationally, if the survey statistics were extrapolated to the country as a whole – admitted they aren’t sure where chocolate milk comes from. As in, maybe it comes from a brown cow? Who knows??

A few more fun facts that emerged from the same survey:

37% of Americans admit to drinking milk straight out of the carton in the fridge (YIKES).

And 29% of Americans buy chocolate milk “for the kids,” but really they just want an excuse to drink it themselves.

As far as the latter, I hope by the time their kids move out they can own what they like and drink it all day like a m-fing adult (who may not know where it comes from). Because chocolate milk, brown cow or no, is delicious.

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Entire Internet is Disturbed by Revelation That St. Louis Slices Bagels Like Bread

St. Louis, MO is apparently a world unto itself… and not just because they’ve got the world-famous Arch.

Photo Credit: iStock

The reason we’re talking about the Gateway City today is because of what they do to these delicious circles of boiled and baked bread.

Photo Credit: iStock

Yes, we’re talking about the humble bagel – the chewy, Jewish-American breakfast staple traditionally served sliced in half, smeared with cream cheese and maybe with a bit of lox and capers?

YUM!

But this is apparently what happens to bagels in St. Louis:

Yes. Apparently in St. Louis they treat bagels like they’re loaves of bread. And the internet is NOT having it.

Because why people… why?!?

Does anybody like St. Louis anyway? (Don’t answer that St. Louisians. You don’t count.)

Although it’s probably too late for this idea…

“Bread slicing” bagels almost feels like a hate crime.

But maybe Christina has an answer. Because what is this St. Louis Bread Company and how can we stop them?

Even Panera weighed in and we’re even more confused! Why are you divided about this?

Quick fun fact many people outside of St. Louis don’t know. In St. Louis, Panera is actually called St. Louis Bread Company. And they have bread slicers in every location for just this reason.

Needless to say, employees suffer as a result.

The struggle is real.

Real fucking real.

Nothing is going to solve this predicament. St. Louis bagel eaters are still going to act like god damn monsters, “bread slicing” their bagels from now until eternity.

But none of us has to like it. Or ever go to St. Louis again.

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15 Husbands Who’ll Make Yours Seem Like Prince Charming By Comparison

I’ve been a husband for about 3 years now, and I think I can confidently say that I am doing a much better job than these guys (not that that’s saying much).

Fellas, whatever your relationship status may be, you’ve gotta step it up. Enough with the “putting empty milk jugs back in the fridge”-BS. You’re a grownup, so act like it, yeah?

And to all you wives who complain about your husbands… bet he doesn’t look so bad now, does he?

1. Nice snack mix…unless your husband gets there first.

Photo Credit: Reddit: vespernata

2. What husband thought it was okay to put this back in the freezer?

Photo Credit: Reddit: jojojones423

3. Or this husband who left some cream cheese for his wife.

Photo Credit: Reddit: kittykat47

4. That’s, um…not how you cut an avocado.

Photo Credit: Reddit: KJN729

5. He had to get to the bagels, no matter the cost.

Photo Credit: Reddit: eleanora_

6. That little orange on top is just decoration, right?

Photo Credit: Reddit: ayannauriel

7. What? Who? How?

Photo Credit: Reddit: the_buttbank

8. He tried to shred the sliced cheese.

Photo Credit: Reddit: eeveefury

9. He bought fresh milk because they were “out.”

Photo Credit: Reddit: Behazeled

10. Toast, anyone?

Photo Credit: Reddit: Niplash

11. Who doesn’t love orange slivers?

Photo Credit: Reddit: grumpycat_95

12. Her husband peeled one banana and ensured that the rest were ruined in the process.

Photo Credit: Reddit: clefabulous88

13. But…it’s supposed to…AHHH!

Photo Credit: Reddit: cakerton

14. Nothing like opening up the fridge and grabbing this:

Photo Credit: Reddit: JMyers666

15. Her husband always complains that his beer gets knocked over. If only there was a solution…

Oh, husbands. What would we do without them?

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