15 Stories That Reveal the Truth About Reality TV

If you still think reality shows are real life, then have I got news for you. In most cases, I think it goes without saying that these shows have teams of writers who are behind everything that happens. These 15 folks have experienced the “reality” of reality shows, and they’re ready to reveal those secrets.

15. Looks first, plot later

I have a friend who signed up to audition for a show that she thought was “The Bachelorette”, or something similar. I guess its standard practice to not give the actual name of the show, and just say, “We need good looking, energetic young women for blah blah blah.”

So she got called back, went through a few different interviews and a screen test. Finally, they tell her that the concept is that she will be running a Pawn Shop with another woman. She is a dental assistant with no experience remotely related to the Pawn business.

“Pawn Queens” ended up being on for two seasons and they gave her a backstory about how/why she got interested in the pawn business. Not exactly SHOCKING, but it was pretty interesting to see that they basically looked for hot girls first, then put them into a proven concept (“Pawn Stars”-type reality show).

14. Hypnotic parenting?

I was on an episode of “extreme guide to parenting”. My mom is a hypnotherapist for a living and so they “interviewed” my brothers and me about getting “hypnotized” to do chores and get good grades. They had us say thing like “my mom using nuro linguistic programming to make us do things” and that she hypnotizes us on a daily basis. I was 14 and I had to pretend that I had a crush on this boy and my mom taught me how to “hypnotize him to like me”. All the parts with me in it were cut out, thank god, but my twin brothers got a decent amount of airtime. All of it was scripted. It was basically a publicity stunt on my moms part to get more business. I don’t blame her, it worked pretty effectively and we got a 5,000 dollar check for letting them use our house to film.

to clarify, everything my mom said was true to a degree, and she has hypnotized me in the past, but hypnotherapy is not what everyone thinks it is. It is a way of gaining more self control, not less, and in no way is it someone controlling your mind. There are subtle cues you can give people to get them to agree with you, such as nodding your head when you ask for something (and touching their shoulder) but other than that it is mostly used to help people stop smoking or biting their nails and even improving concentration and avoiding panic attacks. Just like anyother therapist might help you, my mom does it with hypnosis.

As for exploiting my brothers and me, it was really fun and I laughed a lot when I saw the final cut. I thought my family didn’t seem so bad when compared to others that I saw in the same episode, but I can’t judge. Either way, the whole plot was made up but it is true that my mom taught us how to exit something called flight or fight mode when in non-life threatening situations, like when you panic, she taught us to think clearly. Nothing as extreme as how they portrayed us in the show. Honestly, it’s counter intuitive to make a show that puts my mom in bad light for business reasons and so while everything was scripted, she did maintain her usual air of professionalism, the directors just took all the parts that made her look as bad as possible.

13. They all go insane

I have worked on several reality shows. Some are more fake than others, but they are all heavily scheduled and formatted, never spontaneous.

I worked on a certain MTV dating show where one of the contestants tried to escape the house in the middle of the night, and one of the Production Assistants had to tackle him in the front yard and drag him back into the house. It’s like prison, they are completely cut out from the outside world (no computer, books, phones, watches) and they are fed mostly booze. They all go insane.

Also, if the show doesn’t air, they don’t win their prize money. This is a standard for all competition reality shows.

12. This one’s actually really sweet

I’m late but whatever. Pitbulls and Parolees on Animal Planet. I used to work at the main warehouse where they filmed everything. Not sure if I’m actually on the show at all but if I am I’m just in the background scratching my ass.

Everyone that works there only tolerates filming because it’s more money for the dogs. The camera crews would try and get people to recreate things they missed but most of us weren’t very cooperative. Everyone on the show and in the rest of the staff really just wants the best for the dogs. From what I have seen anything that was staged we’re things that had actually happened and the camera crew wasn’t around for.

The dogs there are amazing. All the horrible things they had been through and they remain so lovable. I miss all my furry buddies there.

11. That actually makes sense

In the very first episode of Top Chef they ever filmed, Tom Colicchio flipped out because the dishes the contestants had cooked were getting cold while the film crew took “food porn” shots of them. From then on, all the contestants have to prepare two dishes. One for the judges to sample, and one for the cameras to pan over and show the audience.

10. Creating drama

You know, it really depends on the type of show you are on because they vary so wildly in style. I’ve worked on a number of reality shows as a lighting technician, the ones I can remember the most are the amazing race, the great escape, kitchen nightmares, and twinning.

Twinning was the one that was most like jersey shore or the real world. Definitely not fake, but casting is so important. You don’t need to fake anything when the people you as filming 24 hours a day are absolutely nuts. They’ll decide at certain points to play God a little bit and move them into rooms with people they hate or give them alcohol when they realize two people have a thing together, but aren’t acting on it. The producers of all of these shows just sit in a room and figure out how to create drama.

I’ve had friends work on duck dynasty. Everything in that show was scripted and they would do multiple takes and get coverage. Very fake, basically a tv show shot in a reality format.

Shows like the amazing race and the great escape on the other hand are pretty dang real. Because of the obstacles and challenges they are interesting enough without the producers interfering that much. On the great escape because of the style of the show, we would go back the next day and reshoot key moments in a cinematic way to push that style. While it was “fake” it was still pretty dang real.

Oh and kitchen nightmares is very real. Gordon Ramsey is just basically a producer that is in the show. He knows what good tv is and how to get it. They pick terrible businesses and the show writes itself. The remodels are always funny though as they are just so on the surface.

9. This sounds like a miserable experience

I know someone who was on Love It or List It when it was in Raleigh. Here’s how the show works, according to what they told me:

As mentioned, nobody wants to list their house- they just want a free renovation and to be on TV. However…

…the show only pays for 50% of the work they do on your house, and the producers do what they want for TV and don’t really respect the homeowners’ wishes.

They shoot a bunch of episodes in one market at a time, so they use one set of contractors for all of the homes. If they get behind on the work on a given home, they pretend that the work is done so they can wrap on the episode, then they take the crew with them to the next house. You then have to live in an unfinished renovation until the whole set of episodes is finished and the crew can get back to you. This can be months or not at all.

It has been an awful experience for many in this market, but the contract is so immensely in the favor of the production company, the homeowners don’t really have any reasonable recourse to get things finished or fixed in the cases stuff was done wrong.

8. Definitely not a blind date

My cousin was on a Toronto dating show called Matchmaker many years ago. She said it was completely scripted and she met her “blind date” before filming so the producers could go over the script with them. They were given a list of ridiculous and racy questions to ask each other and encouraged to make out if they actually liked each other or to cause a scene and be dramatic if they didn’t really click.

7. What you see is actually what you get

Probably no one on Reddit watches it, but Say Yes to the Dress. It’s real. One sister and a few friends have gotten their dresses there, and while they didn’t appear on the show (you get asked when you make your appointment), their experiences were the exact same as TV.

Yes, the consultants really are that personable. Yes, you sit where the show is filmed. Yes, the people on the show really work there. No, they won’t show you anything outside your budget, and yes, they really do bend over backwards to find you discounts if you need one (like on the show.)

I know there are probably cheaper places to buy a wedding dress, but Kleinfeld’s is gorgeous and exactly like it is on SYTTD. The only thing that might be “faked” is if girls/their family are told to be super picky about the dress for ~dramatic effect~.

6. At least he got paid

I had a friend on Cash In The Attic in the UK. The idea is that some antique dealers and so on will scout around in your attic/garage/shed and “find” valuable items to sell.

They found precisely fuck all in my friend’s house, so they pulled some paintings and a vase out of the van, “found” them, then asked him to go and get changed so they could film a segment from “after the sale”.

It all seems like a complete waste of time, aside from the couple of hundred quid they gave him.

5. That takes the cake

Everything. Every single thing is fake. I was on a cake competition show. The judges recorded 2 takes for every comment, one positive and one negative so the editors could put it together however they wanted. They rolled the clock back an hour so everyone else could finish. We had over three months to plan our “spontaneous” cake. Oh yeah, and while we won by the judges vote…a producer decided one of the other cakes would film better for the big reveal so we didn’t win even though we should have.

4. Boo-hoo

Sob stories on singing shows – it’s not the contestant’s fault!

I made it through a few rounds for a well known singing show and they BEG you for sob stories. on my very first application form, I was asked about the most difficult moment in my life, what obstacles I’d overcome to be there, had I ever experienced bullying, etc.

They pretty much make you tell them a sob story. So I wrote all about my heartbreak when I ran out of coffee.

3. New clothes aren’t that exciting

My friend was on What Not to Wear, and I was in the audience of people who were there to react when she came out from behind the curtain with her new look. She came out over and over again, but our cheering was never enthusiastic enough for the producers. After about 10 takes, we were screaming our heads off, totally hysterical, as if we’d just seen her rise from the dead. So that part was fake; I thought she just looked alright.

2. Not actually impossible

I was on restaurant impossible a couple years ago. They say they have a $10,000 budget for the renovation, definitely does not mean they use it. The host, Robert Irvine, was only there for like an hour a day, of the 3ish day venture, just to get in the way and whine about things for the camera. They made up this whole story about how my boss would lose everything and cause so much stress on his marriage and family if the restaurant failed. They had us “walk this direction with a sullen look” to show that we felt underappreciated as employees. We had four employees actually walk out because of some the comments Robert made. We also did not get paid any extra for any of this.

But, while all of that was annoying, I will say this. The food network did pay almost $4k for a very local construction crew to come in, which is awesome for local business/support, the food was very awesome, and I got to learn some insane techniques from world class chef’s, at the very start of my career (I am a chef myself now). It was very neat and exciting thing for a small town, and definitely brought our community together. And while the business did still end up failing a year and a half later, my boss was totally fine because he bought out another restaurant and is now very successful elsewhere.

1. They weren’t even married

My daughter and her boyfriend were on Divorce court. They were not married, and the shows producers helped them tailor their story (which was completely made up) to be more interesting. They are now married and since they’ve already been “divorced”, it should last forever.

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Map Shows The Most Googled Medical Symptoms in Each State

Ninety-nine-point-nine percent of the time, self-diagnosis online is incorrect and you will have wasted your time for nothing.

Still, that doesn’t stop people from across the country from Googling their symptoms every time they experience a fraction of a headache.

Is Everyone Sick, or Just Me?

Curious to know what your neighbors are Googling? The Medicare plans review site Medicare Health Plans used Google Trends to find frequently searched medical symptoms by state for the past year. Check out the map below to see if you are the only one worried about passing strangely colored poop (spoiler alert: not if you live in South Carolina or Wisconsin).

Photo Credit: Medicare Health Plans

Our Health, Googled

The most searched symptoms pointed to respiratory illnesses. Makes sense as many Americans suffer from colds, allergies and flu yearly. In fact, over 155 million flu vaccines were manufactured and administered in the past year.

Stress symptoms were also widely Googled, especially in the Western United States – hello sweaty palms and stomach acid. Guys, try to fit in more yoga.

Meanwhile, Eastern folks experienced “loss of sleep,” and “the sniffles.” Except for Rhode Island and New Jersey, who not only got plenty of sleep, they had “lucid dreams.” Is that even a medical condition? Stress was also a major concern along the Atlantic Seaboard.

What to do Now

While not an ideal way to manage health, Internet research is helpful for pointing to what may be causing your discomfort. But use it to compile questions for a visit with your doctor. Meaning, go to a doctor! Having notes and questions with you will make for a more proactive appointment, especially when you feel like crap.

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These 6+ Interesting Facts That Will Open Your Eyes

Did you know that chimpanzees can recognize butts? How’d you like to have that power?

And you’ll learn that fact and 6 more when you keep on reading this fact set.

1. Not humane

Photo Credit: did you know?

2. I know you from somewhere…

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3. Lunch lady land

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4. Get your sleep

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5. Fire Mummies

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6. Whoa…

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7. I need a few of these

Photo Credit: did you know?

Are your eyes opened and your brain expanded? I thought so.

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Chefs Share 12+ Red Flags to Keep an Eye out for at Restaurants

We could all use a little inside info about the food and restaurant industry, especially if it could save us from some nasty food poisoning.

In this AskReddit thread, chefs and other food service workers share the huge red flags to look for when dining out.

1. Don’t pay (as much) attention to bathrooms

“To you guys saying that the bathroom being disgusting is a sign of gross staff…please go work at a restaurant for a week. Unless you’re talking about non-busy hours, the bathroom is going to get super gross in a matter of minutes. I could not keep up with the public’s disgusting bathroom habits and still do the rest of my job, and I am a picky but fast cleaner. It was much easier to keep the kitchen and tables clean than the bathroom. For some reason, people think it’s okay to stop being a decent human being in public bathrooms.”

2. Gross

“Anthony Bourdain said dirty menus.

If they’re not cleaning the menu they’re not cleaning other things.”

3. Sounds a little off…

“I went to brunch recently and the head chef/owner walked in the front door with an axe, walked through the dining area and into the kitchen where he proceeded to axe the walk-in cooler to shreds.

Not a chef but I think that’s a red flag.”

4. Things to look out for

“Hi, chef here.

1- divorce your mind from the “bathroom is dirty” idea. Bathrooms are not always the responsibility of the kitchen and don’t necessarily reflect the state of the kitchen. Also, bathrooms see a lot of use so it being untidy (NOT covered in sh*t but paper on the floor, etc) isn’t uncommon, especially at peak hours. A clean bathroom is a sign of good management.

Same idea applies to menus.

2- check the glassware and silverware, and plates. If they’re spotty there are two reasons. They’re not polished, or the system they are using isn’t being maintained. This is a good sign of very few f*cks being given in both the front and back of house.

3- If you have the opportunity to see the entrance to kitchen (from the outside) that should give you a clue about whether or not the kitchen staff is trained to take care of the premises. If there is a stack of empty boxes, bags of trash, litter then they don’t care. Pests and rodents eat anything. If you leave it out they learn where to be. Then they find how to get in.

4- A little harder, but the trained eye and experienced eater can learn a lot by what is in the menu. Some places use whatever processed product their main liner sells them (Sysco, US Foods, Aramark, etc) They might be clean and well run, but still shitty. I suggest looking for the local places over the chains, though this doesn’t always help.

5- server attire. Generally speaking, a well dressed staff means good service. It might not say anything about the food, but appearances count.

6- Are they busy? If they’re in the main part of town and not busy that should tell you alot.

Overall if your first experience doesn’t leave you satisfied (not WOW amazing, but good) then don’t go back.”

5. Keep an eye on those

“I worked as a server and occasional line cook for several years.

Number 1 red flag is the spouts on the soda fountain. Those things are one of the easiest things to clean in the entire place, so if they’re mildewy that kills my interest in eating there. I’m fine with a bit of mess elsewhere, especially in a high volume place since it will get messy over the course of the day. But those spouts take multiple days of no washing to get to a point where they are noticeably disgusting.”

6. Unorganized

“When the menu has a large variety of options but they’re not closely related to each other or even the theme of the restaurant
Empty parking lots at peak times and an empty room
When front of the house or servers don’t know their menu
When it takes 10 minutes just to get water
Flies (Not gnats i’m talking about house flies)
Dirty menus, cups, and plates.”

7. Watch the bartenders

“When I sit down at a bar I watch how the bartenders pour from their taps. If they stick the tap into the beer while they’re pouring I stick with a bottled beer.

I was taught very early on not to do that and having worked at a lot of places where I’ve seen the smegma of built up moldy, beer residue, dead fruit flies that comes out of those things when they’re cleaned, usually after many many months or years has passed in some cases…I’ll always pass on tap beer if I see that shit.

It’s an often under cleaned, uncovered, unwiped part of the bar and most people on the other side of the bar ever think twice. It’s also a sign that other things like their soda gun and ice well potentially being cleaned and sanitized properly. Not to mention their rags aren’t being swapped out and sanitized…the list goes on.

I don’t bitch at the bartender, I don’t make a scene, I just order a bottle because that isn’t being handled by that establishment other than when they open it.

Also, don’t get me started on staff snacking out of the garnish tray. Ugh.”

8. Stressed out

“Pastry student here!

Stressed waiters/stressed chefs. More likely to make mistakes. If their uniform is dirty (and I don’t mean a small stain. I mean a stain that is at least several hours old. Bonus point if there’s more than one.)

You see waiters, or chefs scratching themselves, touching their face, any part of their body. I can guarantee you they are not suddenly rushing to the bathroom to clean their hands after every face pat.

A bit gross to look into, but the mop water, jfc. If you walk by a mop bucket that smells like death, it probably hasn’t been changed in several hours. If the table is sticky, but “clean,” it means they are reusing dirty water.

Smudges on cutlery/plates. For cleaning them, there’s a machine, but for wiping them down, there’s a human that does not give a f*ck.”

9. Servers

“Service can tell things on the restaurant. If you enter the restaurant and servers don’t pay attention to you, it can mean 2 things. They are too busy, or they are not motivated to work. If they are too busy, it means owner doesn’t want to hire more people, which means the owner wants to save money or does not pay attention to his place. If he wants to save money by not hiring enough, he will do so in kitchen. If they are not motivated to work, there are problems among staffs or they are not getting paid enough.”

10. Smells dirty

“I don’t have a culinary degree, but I did spend 10 years of my life in professional kitchens.

Show up early and grab a drink at the bar. If the bar smells like dirty mop water, GTFO. If the bartender has to ask you what goes in an Old Fashioned, GTFO. If the bartender is a rude prick, GTFO.

If the front of house is bad, the back will be even worse. I consider the maitre d’ as simply the guy who greets me, not necessarily how I judge front of house.

You can only tell so much from polished silverware. That’s not hard to do and almost every place stays on top of it. Doing things like making sure there isn’t any dust on the bottles behind a bar, even the ones that hardly ever get used and need a ladder to reach, that takes real dedication and attention to detail.

Other sure signs of trouble at the bar is last night’s garnish. If your lime doesn’t look and feel like it was cut in the last hour, GTFO. Conversely, if they use the good Luxardo cherries instead of the day-glo red abominations, you’re probably at a place that gives a shit about ingredients in the kitchen as well.”

11. Son of a…

“Son of a chef.

Oven chips. besides the fact oven chips are shit if they can’t be arsed to hand cut potatoes I don’t put much faith into the rest of the meal.

Anything that looks like a general piece of frozen food. Think chicken kieves, always look the same, shape size etc.

If anything comes out steaming hot that shouldn’t be hot. For example Jacket potato, if that comes out and it’s erupting with enough steam that the glass wear gets condensation, then it’s been zapped in the microwave.

Melted cheese which hasn’t got brown or burn marks on it (except on a burger) it;’s been microwaved instead of a flame.”

12. Olive oil

“At Italian restaurants, I look at the olive oil that’s given on the table. If it’s a light colored oil, then it’s not that great in quality and they’re cutting corners. It makes me wonder what other corners they’re cutting.”

13. Cleanliness is next to Godliness

“Waiter, not chef, but I agree with a lot I’ve read here.

General cleanliness – if they can’t keep the small things clean, they’re cutting corners everywhere with hygiene. A good restaurant keeps on top of that stuff. Maintenance – again relating to cutting corners, if items aren’t maintained, condiments and the like, then you can be sure that there are lapses elsewhere. Staff – this is an interesting one, but from experience if the staff don’t seem to work well, together or not, there’s a red flag that the restaurant isn’t being looked after properly, leading to issues with the first two.

There’s probably a bunch of other stuff I’ve missed. Truth be told, restaurant biz is usually high pressure, so everything, like cleaning, is done as quickly as possible. Often, that translates to poor quality. I usually go out with a skeptical eye because of what I’ve seen/heard. Some of it can be right dodgy…”

14. The smaller, the better

“Huge menus. Very few restaurants can do many things great…. And I dont want to go somewhere that does a lot of “okay” meals.”

15. Good point

“Chinese restaurant doesn’t have Chinese people working in it.”

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Here’s How Things Really Happen Behind The Scenes On Shows Like ‘Maury’ And ‘Jerry Springer’

Television shows like Maury and Jerry Springer are made to produce drama. But have you ever wondered how real they actually are?

A number of users on Reddit have responded to AskReddit threads about this very subject. Some have been on these shows themselves, other have friends who told them all about it, but all of them offer an inside look at how shows like these are made.

1. Devastated

A guy I work with was a regular on Maury. He was one of the people that you’d see ‘updates’ on fairly regularly.

He first went on there because his girlfriend had something to tell him. It turns out that she had cheated on him and there was a possibility that he wasn’t the father of their child. He’s crying and they bring out the guy she cheated with. They’ve done DNA tests and tell my co-worker that he IS NOT the father. He’s crazy about his kid, so of course, he’s devastated.

Then they read the results for the other guy. Of course, he IS NOT the father, either. She swears that’s the only time she’s cheated. Then they go back on Maury and she remembered about three other guys she had cheated with.

Go figure, none of them are the father, either.

They wound up testing seven or eight guys before they actually found the real father. My co-worker stupidly actually ended up marrying her. Ultimately, I think it came down to the kid. He wanted to be in their life but had no legal rights to do so if he dumped her…at least, that’s what I hope it was. Yet no one was too surprised when she dumped him a couple years later because she’d started hooking up with the baby daddy again.

Last I saw of him, he was fired because he kept showing up to work all messed up. I still occasionally flip through channels and see re-runs with him on it.

2. Lie Detector

I appeared on Jeremy Kyle (British version of Maury and Jerry Springer) in December 2015. I went on because 800-1000 pounds (we didn’t know the exact amount) was stolen from my mum’s wardrobe. My mum was saving it up for Christmas as a little extra for all of us since she has 5 children.

Our family isn’t a trashy family and we’re all just normal people, apart from my 25-year-old brother, who also just happens to be a substance addict with a serious drinking problem.

So of course when 800-1000 quid went missing we all knew it was him.

But of course, him being the addict scumbag he is, he denied it constantly and proclaimed his innocence. My parents were so angry at him and my dad was even close to kicking the life out of him. They basically said you’ve got 2 weeks to get out of the house, so my brother, knowing that he has nowhere to go and no money thought the best option to prove his innocence was to get in contact with the Jeremy Kyle show to take a lie detector test.

He calls up the show and they all interview us over the phone and a few hours later they call back and ask if we can come to Manchester in two days (we live in Northern Ireland so they would pay all the flights and all the taxis) and we said yes.

My brother was booked to fly over the day before us – the day right after he first got in contact with the show.

The producers of the show book a taxi to go to our house, collect us (just me, my sister, and mum) and drive us to the airport. They had the flight all sorted so getting over to Manchester was so smooth.

As soon as we got off the plane we got the taxi to the hotel. The hotel was pretty bad but you got free meals so I guess that was the only good thing about it. My brother, since he left the day before us, was not in contact with us and was placed in a different hotel.

We spent one night in the hotel and the very next morning the producers come to collect us.

We go to the studio, get searched, our phones and bags taken off us and put into this very nice room that even had a bathroom with a shower in it. We wait there for about one to two hours until we’re called for a sound check.

We basically just go onto the stage and test the microphones we will be using. Afterward, we’re sent back to our room and the producers come and talk to us and have already decided how the show will play out.

Basically, they put me in the audience for some reason and told me to shout out as much as possible, as Jeremy hates quiet people on his show because he feels like he wasted money bringing them on. They decided that my sister would come out first and do most of the talking because she was the most outgoing one of us.

They said our brother would then come out and Jeremy, my sister, and my brother would talk for a while before they’d bring my mum out and then read the lie detector results.

After an hour in the nice room, we were finally told that we’re going on the show now.

We went backstage and I was brought to the middle of the audience by one of the workers (one of the most awkward moments of my life – the audience just looks at you with pure disgust and laughs at you for just being on the show).

Jeremy then comes out and does a few takes of his opening lines, and then he calls out my sister onto the show. They talk for a bit, he calls out my brother, then my mum, and then reads the lie detector.

Of course, he was lying. The audience was so shocked that he was lying because he doesn’t look like an addict and speaks like a normal guy, but my family obviously knew he had stolen the money.

So of course, like a typical Jeremy Kyle victim, he denies it and says the lie detector is wrong.

Jeremy insults him for a bit and the show is over and we’re led straight out the door and into the taxi to the airport. The whole show lasted about 15 minutes. Of course, my parents, being as nice as they are, didn’t kick him out and he continues to live in our house and gets high and HE STILL DENIES HE STOLE THE MONEY.

We all just try to ignore his existence. We didn’t get any money for going on the show, all we got was the free hotel room for the night and the meals in the hotel.

Jeremy Kyle was just as big of a jerk in real life as he is on the show.

He insulted the jumper I was wearing before the cameras even started rolling, and when I shouted out something from the audience, as I was told to do, about my brother stealing in the past, Jeremy Kyle turned around and gave me the dirtiest look ever and said ‘don’t you talk over me, this is the Jeremy Kyle show, I speak first.’

I just apologized and stopped talking. All in all, it wasn’t too bad of an experience though – the producers we talked to were the sweetest and nicest people I’ve met in a long time.

3. Blood

I had a buddy that was on Springer a few years ago. One day, the Jerry Springer show called him. I always tell him that you know your life is messed up when Springer calls YOU, but anyway.

The true story is that my buddy’s then wife’s transvestite ex-boyfriend wanted her back. So Springer calls him and they start the process of booking the show. A few days later, the ex drops out. Since they’ve already booked the show, the producer says, ‘Is there anything else you’d like to talk about? Anything?

ANYTHING?’ insinuating that they should just make something else up.

They came up with a story where my buddy was cheating on his wife with his male friend, but that she was also cheating on him with her girlfriend. But wait! Both of the paramours were also cheating — with each other! They flew out to Stamford for the taping. Before the show, the lawyer came in and gave them ‘the speech’ — no cursing, no throwing things. no acting like jerks.

Then, the producer came in and said to ignore all the stuff that guy had just said.

‘I want you to break chairs, I want you to throw things, curse all you want, just don’t get blood on the stage.’ They went out and acted out their made-up story. His wife’s ‘lover’ danced on the pole. He and his ‘boyfriend’ ripped their shirts off and tried to beat each other up. At the questions and answers section, somebody in the audience called him a ‘werewolf-looking dude.’

Everyone in the audience jumped up and did a weird dance when they found out he was from Tennessee. Then they flew back.

The show aired a couple months later. I couldn’t be seen out in public with him without people recognizing him and asking if I was his new lover. That got old, quickly.

4. Signals

Years ago, a friend of mine was on Springer. She and her two male housemates had been sitting around drinking and someone said, ‘Hey, wouldn’t it be fun to be on Springer?’ They devised some lame premise, phoned the show and three weeks later they on a paid-for trip to Chicago on an episode titled, ‘My Girlfriend Sells Herself Out.’ Their idea was to pretend that she listed her ‘services’ on Craigslist and that one of her housemates was her boyfriend and the other a client.

The guys went out partying the night before the show, but she decided to stay in.

Watching Fraser that night, one of the characters said something like ‘some of us are angels, some are devils and the rest of us are just doing the best we can.’ She thought that that would be something a streetwalker might say, so she dropped it during the segment the next day. She said that was the only moment when the ’emotions’ guy signaled the audience with a finger to his temple so they would all say ‘hmm.’

The other emotions the audience are signaled by thumbs-up (cheering) and thumbs down (booing). She is a very funny girl and lots of fun, but she did not give me the sense that being on Springer was particularly enjoyable. I have the impression that she wishes she hadn’t gone through with it. They were paid only for their trip, accommodation and about 100 dollars in expenses each. She didn’t speak with Jerry behind the scenes but said that there is a ‘priest’ who works behind the camera who spent tons of time with them and even contacted them after the show to see how things had worked out for everyone following the show.

She said this guy hit on her pretty hard.

5. Ridiculous

I was a guest on the Carnie Wilson Show (eons ago when she had a show). A friend of mine’s then-girlfriend was a producer for it. She’d heard through my buddy that I had reconnected with a girl I used to have a crush on (let’s call her Yolanda) and was wondering if I’d agree to be flown to New York, be picked up in a limo and put up in a hotel in exchange for telling her as much on national television.

Of course, I said yes.

We did a pre-interview on the phone and my buddy’s girlfriend, the producer, asked the basic questions I was likely to be asked. I answered with humor and charm and I was to repeat this basic banter on the air. No problem. As we’re ending the conversation she says, ‘So after the first segment Carnie will say ‘and when we come back we’ll meet [me] who says he must sleep with Yolanda’ and then after the break we’ll come back and Carnie will say, ‘So, you must sleep with Yolanda’ and you will say, ‘yes, I must sleep with Yolanda’ and then we’ll do all those other questions I just asked you.

Okay? Gotta go.’

‘Wait a minute,’ I thought, ‘I never said I must sleep with anybody.’ So it’s the day of, and I’m still not really comfortable with the language. Would I sleep with Yolanda? Sure, if she was up for it. Did I have to? Was it absolutely imperative that this happen? Of course not. Besides, it made me sound desperate.

And if there’s one thing I hate it’s sounding desperate. This whole thing was starting to make me feel uncomfortable.

So there I was on stage in front of a live studio audience and the producer comes out and goes over what’s going to happen again. Then her boss, the executive producer, comes over and says the exact same thing, verbatim.

This was getting ridiculous.

I didn’t immediately respond, searching instead for a tactful way to bring up my concerns moments before taping. The execs must have seen the concern on my face because she looked at my friend’s girlfriend like she was about to get fired and said, ‘You’ve gone over this right?’

When she hesitated, the boss looked at me instead and in the most stern, ‘don’t mess with me’ broadcast voice said ‘You’ve gone over it now.’ She marched off stage. I look to my producer friend and meekly ask, ‘Couldn’t I just say I’d really like to sleep with Yolanda?’ She scrunches an apologetic face and says ‘Must.’

And when I heard Carnie Wilson of Wilson Phillips’ fame say ‘So, you must sleep with Yolanda?’

Time stood still. I looked out at the sea of faces. Regular American folk, suddenly and inexplicably riveted by my tawdry, speculative intimate life. I thought of the lyrics to ‘Hold On,’ one of Wilson Phillips’ most popular songs: ‘No one can change your life except for you, don’t ever let anyone step all over you.’

Would Carnie want me to follow this advice right now? If I said ‘Meh, I’m in if she is?’ what would they do? Would they stop rolling and scold me in front of this full house of strangers? What would Carnie Wilson do if I threw her under the bus? The truth is I would never find out because that was the moment that I discovered what a spineless media monster I am.

I didn’t just say the words, I said them like it was the most important thing I would ever do. ‘Yes.” I proclaimed, ‘Yes I must sleep with Yolanda!’ And that night I did, twice, and it was just so-so.

6. Made Him Look Stupid

A good friend of mine was on Jerry Springer. At the time, he had a fiancée, and they thought it would be something funny to do. So they made up this whole story that she was a dancer in Vegas, and while out on vacation he met her and has been stalking her ever since. You know, standard Jerry.

So they fly them out there, put them up in a hotel, everything seems to be just fun and games. Well, they show up at the studio and the costume team starts going nuts on them. You know how everyone wears shirts that are too big for them? Well, I learned that it’s a deliberate thing Jerry’s team does to men who they want to look especially stupid (and oh god did he look stupid – we still bust on him).

At the taping, they are both nervous as anything. My boy has visible sweat stains and his voice kept squeaking, but they made it through it. He was demolished by the crowd afterward, I honestly wish I taped it because I only have my memory. Anyway, they broke up two months later. No more fiancée for my buddy Vince. He is still a great guy with an amazing sense of humor (and a new girlfriend) so I guess his life was pretty good afterward. He gets ripped on all the time for being on the show, but that’s just guys busting on each other.

7. Awful

My girlfriend and I were visiting Chicago and had just gotten off the architecture tour boat. We were looking for a sandwich and there was a cafe underneath the NBC building. The cafe was closed, but there was a long line to get into the studio entrance.

The doorman asked if we want to watch the Jenny Jones show. For whatever reason, we said yes. We were escorted into a large waiting room. We sat there forever.

Eventually, a woman comes out and tells us about the show, ‘Missed Connections’ or something like that.

It was going to feature people who had a one nighter on spring break who they were going to reunite on the show. The people who had signed up in advance had been instructed to wear certain color clothes.

The woman encouraged people to get up to the microphone and be as controversial as possible. We were told once we sat down in the audience chairs that we couldn’t leave because they didn’t want empty seats.

We finally sit down, and there were cheerleaders on either side of the stage below signs that said ‘applause.’

The signs flashed on whenever they wanted a crowd reaction. It was awful. We wanted to leave. It took about 4 hours for the whole thing. To top it off, one of the boy bands from around 2000 was the ‘special guest’ and we all got free CDs.

I just wanted a sandwich. By the way, the show was atrocious and Jenny took time-outs for makeup and the people on stage were constantly being coached during breaks.

8. Paid Actors

My wife and I were down in Jamaica in the early 2000s and Jerry Springer was taping on our resort’s beach. They tape multiple shows in a day. Theoretically, they are supposed to blur your face if you appear on camera without signing a release.

This doesn’t apply to audience members, only to people caught on film in background shots of the beach. My wife and I never signed a release and we hung out in a hammock all day right next to the taping location.

A lot, if not all, of the ‘guests’ were paid actors.

At one point, we saw them rehearsing a verbal fight and then pacing off the physical confrontation. Springer had nothing to do with the planning. It looked like it was all up to the show’s director, and Springer would just come out and react to the foolishness taking place in front of him.

They had a segment about hypnotizing people. Ms. Texas was a guest on this show. She walked up to our hammock and started talking to us. Now, before you get any ideas, we are absolutely NOT the type of people that this sort of stuff happens to.

No ‘Dear Penthouse Letters, I never thought this would happen to me.’ We are not of the Beautiful People Master Race. So, needless to say, this was very odd to us.

After talking for about five minutes, she asked us to watch over her bikini.

She then proceeded to take it off and prance, and yes it was definitely a prance, over to the show. Now, this is weird on many levels. First, why is she asking a random couple laying in a hammock to hold her bikini when she could have just given to a production assistant.

Second, why was she even talking to us at all? It wasn’t like we happen to be in a convenient spot compared to where they were taping the show. The conversation was actually pretty normal. We asked about the Ms.

Nude competition and what she did for a living (shockingly, it was nude modeling and dancing). The entire Springer crew went to a foam party dance club after taping that night. The resort had a kind of act similar to a Jamaican themed circus for entertainment that night.

A large group of the female Springer guests kept yelling for the male contortionist to do various things on stage. It was an all-inclusive resort, so the drinks were HEAVILY flowing.

9. Separated

My wife and I were on Ricki Lake back in 1993. We were dating back then, we are married now. We told a lie to get on the show, saying that my cousin was too big a part of our relationship, and she wanted him out.

The real story is that my wife was born in Iraq but moved to America when she was still a baby. I was born in Iraq and moved to Canada before I was 5. She’s an American girl. I’m a Canadian guy. She has attitude, I’m passive.

She’s the one to go off on a car driver, I’m the guy who says, eh it’s all right. My cousin always hung out with us wherever we went. He would jokingly say I should grow a pair and he would stick up for me if my wife felt the need to yell at me.

I just don’t want to inconvenience anyone, especially not her since I was in love so I would go along with whatever.

So we took this premise and made it more serious, and Ricki Lake went with it. When we got there they placed us each in our own rooms and started with, ‘Well, she said if you actually stuck up for yourself and grew a pair of balls maybe you wouldn’t need your cousin,’ etc.

Basically, they separate you into private rooms, then they have producers come in and stir things up. She said this about you. He said this about you.

None of it was true, but when you have 6 people saying this to you in a closed room for over 30 minutes you start to believe that hey, maybe she did say something.

My wife took it way harder than I did. I was mad that they would outright lie to me about something my wife said to get a juicier story. I know I lied to get on but it wasn’t that far off from the truth.

So we went in there laughing but when we got on stage we were angry because of the lies the producers told.

I don’t remember all of the lies, but the one that has stuck with me is, ‘She just called you a wimp in the other room. She thinks you have no backbone and that is why you need your cousin to defend you.’

That struck me hard and I was pretty mad hearing that. I did not know that the producers were lying at the time. I believed every word they said, as did she. Looking back though, we still laugh about this and our daughter thinks this is the greatest thing.

10. All Dressed Up

My old neighbors were on the Maury show. While the basic story they featured was true, there was a lot of embellishment. The story was that the wife wanted the husband to quit his band and change his appearance.

For the show, the wife was given very conservative clothes and appeared much more serious than she ever was in real life. The man was dressed to look like a wild man. In real life, they were both somewhere in the middle.

They did some taped segments ahead of time and although the staff did not tell them what to say, the staff did suggest re-taping portions to make them ‘support the story more.’ It was a gentle prompting and they felt like they had to be dramatic to get on the show.

Their trip to the show was paid for.

They never saw Maury until they went out on the stage. The only interaction they had with him were those 15 or so minutes he questioned them. The husband, as expected, agreed to change his ways and they left the stage.

They were escorted from the building and headed home. The wife had to return the clothes she was given to wear on the show. They thought the trip was fun and worth it. I did not know this couple well but they loved that people who knew them saw the show and they said they would have done it again in a minute.

11. Scripted

My sister was on Maury. The theme of her episode was ‘controlling boyfriends’ or something like that. The joke of it was she and her boyfriend were broken up when they got the call to be on the show so they got back together just to go on (they have an on-again and off-again relationship all the time anyway).

The whole thing is fairly scripted.

They told them what to say and do. They made it seem like they lived together and that she was his slave. In actuality, they both live with their parents and he doesn’t even own a car so they only see each other when she drives to him.

They both got paid a little bit of money (she just got compensated for her normal salary for the day, he got around $100 because he is unemployed). So far nothing has changed. They are still in an on-again-off-again relationship and no one has mentioned to her that they saw the episode so her life is literally no different.

12. Crowdwork

I went to both shows as an audience member. Jerry’s crowd was kind of boring, which was disappointing because I love Jerry way more than Maury. Maury’s crowd was ABSOLUTELY INSANE. Before the show even started people were dancing and grinding in the aisles like it was a club.

It was 11 am on a Thursday. So much more fun. So if you’re gonna go be an audience member, go to Maury. Jerry is kinda lame. They also shoot Steve Wilkos in the same studio.

The post Here’s How Things Really Happen Behind The Scenes On Shows Like ‘Maury’ And ‘Jerry Springer’ appeared first on UberFacts.

12+ EMT’s Share Bad Emergency Medical Advice That People Should Stop Following

There’s a reason why doctors, nurses, and EMTs train and study for so long before they can do what they do, so you might want to listen closely to the advice these 15 EMT’s say you definitely should not take.

#15. If someone is having a seizure…

“If someones having a seizure you dont shove something into their mouth or try and hold them down. Thanks for that lie Hollywood, now a good portion of the population does the wrong thing when someones having a seizure.”

#14. Literally killing people.

“If ribs crunch during CPR you’ve pressed too hard and broken some ribs.

Nope, in some people you need to get passed them to pump the heart.

The myth of don’t do it too hard or you’ll give chest trauma is literally killing people. Well they’re already dead, but softy gentle hands made sure they stayed that way.

CPR is brutal. But you are trying to save a life. Don’t fuck around.

To completely contradict myself as we often do do… bad CPR is better than no CPR.”

#13. Not all hospitals are equal.

“Don’t argue about what hospital we say we should take you or your family member to. Not all hospitals are equal. Some are better for trauma, stroke, heart attacks, psych, etc. If it doesn’t matter I’ll ask if there is a hospital preference.”

#12. You’re more like a liability right now.

“If we take our time on scene it’s because we need to make more tests or we are actively treating the problem. No need to ask “omg why are you still here just take her and go”. There’s actually quite a lot we can do ourselves, at home, that’s the same as in the ER.

Defibrillation stops the heart in the hopes it starts again normally. You can’t shock someone back to life. If the machine says “no shock advised, start CPR”, just pump the chest until EMS arrives, the machine is working fine and in this case giving a shock to the patient would not work.

Hitting the chest dead center like in the movies is called a Precordial Thump, you give it once. It may work in specific circumstances in the immediate seconds after that circumstance happens. Just do CPR, plug the AED if available, forget what happens in the movies.

I don’t care if you’re an RN, MD, ABCXYZ. I got no way to check your credentials and you’re more like a liability right now. I absolutely love when medical professionals are there to provide useful and pertinent info, though. Information is always welcome, busybodies are not.

Can’t shock a flatline. See my second point.

Take a CPR class people, you’ll be able to ask all your questions to an instructor and you’ll learn lots of useful stuff.

When in doubt, call 911.”

#11. Until they’re down.

“I’m just an EMT student, but we learned that kids are not smaller adults, they’re like entirely different organisms. And when they are experiencing difficulty breathing, they cliffdive. Their bodies will compensate, compensate, compensa-oof they’re on the floor in respiratory arrest. Adults will circle the drain, you’ll see them steadily go from “i’m having trouble breathing” “i’m really having a hard time” “i dont…i dont feel so good” “huhhhhhhhhhh” and THEN they’ll pass out. Kids are good until they’re down.”

#10. A lot more harm than good.

“Someone drank or ate a poison/chemical – please don’t make them vomit it back up unless the substance is identified and a medical professional has specifically advised it. Can do a lot more harm than good.

People who have fallen or been in a car accident generally don’t need moving at all unless they are in absolute immediate danger. Same for removing helmets – if they can breathe ok then leave them where they are and keep an eye on them.

AEDs are super easy to use. They tell you exactly what needs to be done, and will only shock the patient if they need it – never be afraid to try one if someone is not breathing.

NEVER, ever remove an object from a wound – be it a knife, stick, pole, whatever – leave it in place! Pulling it out can get them killed very quickly. If they’re impaled upon an object don’t take them off – get objects and people to support their body weight until rescue arrives to cut the object.”

#9. We need to know.

“Do. Not. Lie. To. Us.

We do not have to and can not report to the police outside of very specific circumstances. We need to know if you were drinking. We need to know what drugs you were using. Gentlemen, we NEED to know if you are on erectile dysfunction medication. We ask these questions so we don’t do something that will kill you!

Also. Narcan. It is a wonderful, life saving drug. That being said, you will likely need more than one dose, don’t just give narcan call it good and leave someone who is overdosing. Keep in mind though it’s a double edged sword. If your person overdosing comes to there’s a good chance they’re going to be pissed and often times they get violent because all they really know is you ruined what was probably the best high of their life.”

#8. We don’t care what you are on.

“Only a student but with my expirance there’s two major things:

1: Drugs. We don’t care what you are on. If you are cooperative and aren’t aggressive there’s no need to get the police involved. But if you get defensive and try to arc up when we ask you to move your drugs to a different area so we can work that’s how you get the police involved and have to make your friend wait for medical attention.

2: Clarification. (This isn’t quite what you asked but it still needs to be said) Drugs are crazy things, both medical and recreational. If you are on either you need to tell us, emphasis on medical. Because if I ask you what you are taking at the moment it’s so they any other drugs I give you don’t make you blood pressure drop and make you drop along side of it. I need to know what medication you take and what other medical conditions you have and the quicker and easier you are able to explain that to me the quicker I can fix you and we can all go home.

Edit: Sorry for weird format, I’m on mobile.”

#7. Okay John Travolta.

“Someone who overdoes does not need a shot of adrenaline to the heart.

Had a guy yell and curse at me when his brother OD’d to give him an adrenaline shot. Okay John Travolta.”

#6. Listen to people.

“Several of these that come to mind:

One that hasn’t been said yet: listen to people. People with chronic conditions know what’s going on and can help you help themselves. I once had a patient with anxiety and asthma. She felt her anxiety building at her desk and mentioned it her co-worker/friend so that person could help her to an empty office to allow her to calm down. That person called 911 and alerted other co-workers which triggered 10 people to want to help. The Patient repeatedly told her co-workers to stop crowding her because her anxiety triggers her asthma. Simply listening to her could have saved her several breathing treatments and a trip to the hospital.
Not an “Emergency” but people still using rubbing alcohol or peroxides on minor cuts or scrapes. It’s been shown they can slow healing. A cut or scrape just needs to be washed thoroughly with a mild soap and water then bandaged. More contaminated wounds (gnarly road-rash) can be irrigated with clean water/iodine solution with about a Nalege’s worth of water.
Splashing or dumping water onto a person that is unconcious or “passed out.” Skin color/temperature/moisture can tell alot about a patient and having them covered in water can cause us to think differently about their etiology.
Some bystanders are scared or apprehensive about helping someone in cardiac arrest. You can help someone by doing early compressions. Most 911 operators now can instruct people on how to do compression only CPR until we arrive.”

#5. Pulling to the left is unsafe.

“If an ambulance is lights and sirens behind you, pull over to the RIGHT when safe and STOP as close to the right side as possible.
I don’t care if you’re intending to make a left turn in a block, pulling to the left is unsafe. You’re putting us into a very difficult position deciding whether to sit behind you til you figure it out, unsafely pass you on the right, or go into the oncoming lane.
And for the love of god do not slam on the breaks in the middle of the road. How can you think that’s a good idea? Why are you panicking? This can’t possibly be the most stressful situation you’ve ever been in.”

#4. On essential oils…

“Essential Oils don’t cure Jack shit.”

#3. Until they can get better care.

“CPR is to try to keep the victim alive until they can get to better care. It’s rarely successful. One of my buddies who is an EMT says of all the people he’s done CPR on, only 2 have walked out of the hospital. The rest died or became some form of vegetable.”

#2. Seriously. You’re going to drown them.

“This one’s for you, college students!

STOP POURING WATER DOWN YOUR BLACKOUT DRUNK FRIEND’S THROAT.

Seriously. You’re going to drown them.

You can worry about their hangover AFTER we’re sure they’re not about to sustain permanent brain damage or asphyxiate on their own puke.

As a rule of thumb, if they can’t drink on their own, it isn’t safe for you to do it for them.”

#1. Please stop.

“Please stop doing CPR on people who have fainted, it does nothing but create problems.

Also, not dangerous but please don’t call me nurse, and please don’t call my male crew mate doctor. I literally have Paramedic written on each shoulder.”

 

The more you know!

The post 12+ EMT’s Share Bad Emergency Medical Advice That People Should Stop Following appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Photos That Are Sure to Make You Angry

These photos may be totally random, but they all have one thing in common: they’ll make you very angry.

Read on and try to take a deep breath.

1. I love it when people do this

Photo Credit: Reddit

2. Always an a**hole move

Photo Credit: Reddit

3. Are you comfortable?

Photo Credit: Reddit

4. No, they can’t

Photo Credit: Reddit

5. That’s not gonna work

Photo Credit: Reddit

6. Make some binders, people

Photo Credit: Reddit

7. Why?

Photo Credit: Reddit

8. The worst

Photo Credit: Reddit

9. Not a good design

Photo Credit: Reddit

10. What happened?

Photo Credit: Reddit

11. So gross

Photo Credit: Reddit

12. Love those beans

Photo Credit: Reddit

13. NO

Photo Credit: Reddit

14. Craftsmanship

Photo Credit: Reddit

15. Revolting

Photo Credit: Reddit

Are you upset? If so, I apologize.

The post 15 Photos That Are Sure to Make You Angry appeared first on UberFacts.

These 15+ Random Things Are 100% True

I come bearing truth!

Honestly, these things should probably be considered facts because there is no way you can dispute their truth.

1. Always tired

2. I agree!

Photo Credit: Twitter

3. We can all relate

Photo Credit: Twitter

4. “It’s a really easy password”

Photo Credit: Twitter

5. Powerful

Photo Credit: Twitter

6. “Oh I like this one”

Photo Credit: Twitter

7. That’s true

Photo Credit: Twitter

8. A vicious cycle

Photo Credit: Twitter

9. Yes!

Photo Credit: Twitter

10. Change up your look

Photo Credit: Twitter

11. You need order

Photo Credit: Twitter

12. It sure is

Photo Credit: Twitter

13. I can

Photo Credit: Twitter

14. This is your 20s

Photo Credit: Twitter

15. There’s a lot of stuff down there

Photo Credit: Twitter

16. Cousins are strange…

Photo Credit: Twitter

I bet you feel a little more enlightened now. You’re welcome.

The post These 15+ Random Things Are 100% True appeared first on UberFacts.

These 18+ Designers Should Consider a Career Change

Let these people be examples of what NOT to do if you want to have a career in design.

Yikes…

1. Didn’t think that one through

Photo Credit: Imgur

2. At least it’s only a buck

Photo Credit: Imgur

3. Please don’t drink that

Photo Credit: Imgur

4. Looks safe

Photo Credit: Imgur

5. Bike friendly city

Photo Credit: Imgur

6. Just add milk

Photo Credit: Imgur

7. Try not to get those two confused

Photo Credit: Imgur

8. Don’t go outside

Photo Credit: Imgur

9. What are those supposed to be?

Photo Credit: Imgur

10. He’s a pro!

Photo Credit: Imgur

11. Smoking First

Photo Credit: Imgur

12. Almost there

Photo Credit: Reddit

13. Looks like Sloth from The Goonies

Photo Credit: Imgur

14. Which floor again?

Photo Credit: Reddit

15. Make some new friends

Photo Credit: Reddit

16. I’m confused

Photo Credit: Reddit

17. Not a good color (or design) choice

Photo Credit: Reddit

18. Yikes

Photo Credit: Imgur

19. Then what are they?!?

Photo Credit: Reddit

20. Yummy!

Photo Credit: Reddit

Time to update the old resume…

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We Need This Spaceship-Inspired Nest for Our Cat Right Now

And it only costs $97…what a steal!

I mean, what’s $97 if it means your cat gets to relax in the comfort of their very own spaceship? Splurge away, my friends!

Photo Credit: Instagram

Photo Credit: Instagram

The beds come courtesy of design company MyZoo and are appropriately dubbed The Spaceship Series. The line is inspired by classic spacecrafts, and there are three different models, all designed both to look cool and provide comfort and ease of access. Because we know cats are lazy af.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Photo Credit: Instagram

The Alpha model will set your kitty up comfortably on the floor, while the Beta and Gamma models give your cat a comfy spot to recline up in space.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Photo Credit: Instagram

They’re made from wood and feature a bubble window that lets you see your cat looking adorably like an astronaut on a trip around the earth.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Photo Credit: Instagram

But hey, if you don’t have $97 (or more) to drop on a feline featherbed, never fear – your cat probably prefers your keyboard or the back of your (now sagging) couch cushions, anyway.

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