Category: Weird

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Guy Documents Weird AF First Week of Work at Target. Spoiler: People Are Strange

When you start a new job, a million things go through your mind.

Will I fit in?
Will my co-workers like me?
Am I as stupid as my mother says?

Okay, well, maybe some of us have different thoughts than others, but when Tumblr user kimpossibooty was hired as a cashier at Target, he did what every good millenial should: document his days there to share with all his internet friends later.

All jobs have their quirks, but apparently this particular national superstore really brings the weirdos out en masse. Prepare to be spirited away to a land of misfits, freaks, and mutants.

And next time you’re at your local Target, take a closer look at your fellow shoppers…

Day One:

  • Sold lingerie to an eighty year old woman
  • Got a free salted caramel frappacino from the suspected gay barista, Parker
  • Sold a bra to the mom of a sixteen year old girl who was cringing the entire time
  • Had a very engaging conversation with a three year old boy about colors. We both like blue.
  • Served an old woman who I thought had an impressive mustache, but it was just nose hair
  • Watched her and two other women with her get trapped between two sets of automatic doors because they did not understand how to open them. How they got through the first set, I still do not know.
  • Sold fifteen gallons of kitty litter to a soccer mom who refused to break eye contact
  • Got a second free Starbucks drink. This one was a pumpkin pie one that wasn’t even on the menu. I like this barista man.
  • Gave dozens of children stickers. Several of them squealed when they got them. This is the best part of my job.
  • Sold an old man $200 of furniture and got him to sign up for a Target credit card. Before he finished the last step, he turned and walked away with his cart without a word.
  • He still hadn’t paid. I called him back and he apologized, saying “sorry, sometimes my diabetes makes me do that.” He didn’t finish getting the card.
  • A woman came up with $220 of items. After a wad of coupons and a stack of free gift cards from other promotions, her total went down to $55. I want her to teach me.
  • Saw a girl skipping down the aisle in what can only be described as a pink princess fairy wedding dress. She was filled with happiness and if I hadn’t been on the clock I would have taken her. At the very least, I want that outfit for my own.
  • Got approached by a large man named Jason. He told me not to steal. I will take this advice to heart.
  • Met a woman referred to only as The Cat Lady. She asked if I wanted her to buy me a keychain from Ross. I told her I had no keys. She nodded solemnly and walked away, whispering their exact location inside Ross, just in case.
  • Got called into the HR Head’s office at the end of my shift. I was expecting to be yelled at for some reason. She and another lead showered me in compliments for ten minutes straight, saying a lot of managers had been saying great things about me all day. Not what I expected, but I’ll take it.

Day Two:

  • Intimidating farmer man in overalls and pigtails came through my checkout. He bought a bucket. He spoke no words. He made no eye contact. He left me with questions.
  • Three college boys came through, each buying spandex and makeup wipes. They spoke no words. They made too much eye contact. They left me with more questions. I question when this job will provide answers.
  • A three year old came through, pushed by his personal chauffeur. He bought one small Spider-Man onesie. He carried out the entire transaction on his own. He was the most polite customer I have had so far.
  • Three people walked away without their change. Only two returned.
  • A man bought thirty light bulbs with a coupon. He told me he did not need thirty light bulbs. He just likes coupons.
  • He then walked to customer service, claiming to have returned several things he did not mean to. He then walked a lap around the store and left. He did not leave the store with his light bulbs. They were nowhere to be found.
  • A customer came through looking nervous. She leaned over the counter. She whispered to me. Someone had pooped in the baby supplies aisle. All evidence pointed to it not being a baby.

Day Three:

  • Two children came through the line. They were chanting to their mom through heavy streams of tears. “WE WANT STICKERS MOMMY.” There were no stickers at any of the registers. They continued crying. I failed my people.
  • An old woman bought five bottles of wine and a large bottle of vodka. Her license told me she had lived through World War II. Her smile told me she was still living.
  • I sorted through the candy in the checkout lanes. I was meant to set aside candy that had expired in the last month. A box of Kit Kats was found that had expired in February of 2015. One was missing. I hope the poor sap is okay.
  • Clearance school supplies have arrived. A man bought 71 spiral notebooks for $6. A woman bought 110 folders for $4. I hope they meet each other. I would like to see the child of two math problem characters.
  • A bearded man named Rusty came through. I sold him a bottle of Crystal Light powder and a gallon of water. The powder was empty. The water jug had an inch of pink water left in it. How long has he been inside the store already. His beard intimidated me too much to ask.
  • An elderly man in a fedora pushed two full carts into my lane. They were both filled to the brim. He bought 52 12-packs of Mountain Dew. 12 were diet. He repeatedly told me he was 80 years old. As I handed him his receipt, he leaned in and whispered, “I’m going to get DRUNK.” He pointed at his carts, smiled at me, and scurried away with his definitively alcoholic purchase. I wonder if he knows. I wonder if he cares.

Day Four:

  • The store is having a 10% off your entire purchase sale. I have a coupon to scan if anyone asks for it. I scan it if people don’t ask for it if they’re nice to me. I don’t scan it if they’re rude. Power is a new sensation. Power is a good sensation.
  • Because of the sale, we have been flooded with guests itching for a bargain. When I need to go on my break, the manager has to stand in front of the line and tell people to go somewhere else. As the line died down, I prepared to leave. A new wave of people approached. She whispered to me “run as soon as you can.” I did not see her after my break.
  • An old man comes through the line and loudly announces that “this is a cash thing. No cards!” His clarity is appreciated, but also questioned.
  • A young man follows him. He jokes, “this is a card thing. No cash!” His smile shows he was a kind man. His joke shows he was a dad.
  • A confused teenager follows after. He whispers, “……….cash”. He thinks he has to announce his payment type. I do not correct him.
  • Children continue to handle their own transactions. This makes my day good. One girl had her own wallet and told me “thank you for your help, sir”. This makes my day great.
  • Five hours into my shift, I discover small figurines of Bambi and Pluto behind my register screen. Knowing that I am experiencing the happiest place on earth for a bargain price is nice.
  • A customer purchased hard salami. The store sells a product called hard salami. How anyone can work or shop here with a straight face remains beyond me.
  • A small girl waits in the cart as her mother pays for her transaction. She decides she had enough. She shouts, “Let me out of here!” She attempts to leave the cart. She realizes the walls are too tall. She sits down and accepts her fate with a shocking level of grace.
  • A grown man sees a coloring book on a shelf. He calls after his wife, who has already walked away. “There’s a coloring book here. This is just pitiful.” No one has any response for this.
  • I met a man who looked like Harry Potter if, instead of getting out of the cupboard at age eleven, he stayed in there for fifteen more years with nothing but Red Bull and My Chemical Romance albums.
  • A woman gets 69 cents back in change. I know that I will likely get reprimanded if I make a 69 joke to a customer. I do not speak to the customer any further. I am trying to decide if it is worth losing my job or not.
  • A little girl in basketball shorts kicks the candy rack multiple times. I expect her to turn around and show that she is throwing a fit. Instead, she seems calm and please. She is having the time of her life. I look forward to seeing where life takes her.
  • A child in my lane gets a toy. A child in the next lane yells at him for having a toy when he does not. Toy-having child prepares to throw the toy at toy-lacking child. Parents pick up their respective children. Thus ends the Baby Feud of 2016.

Day Five:

  • I open my register. An octogenarian woman approaches. She purchases bras and lingerie. I cry on the inside. It is too early for these images.
  • A small girl helped me put her parents bags into their cart. Every time I hand her a bag, she digs through it, announcing which things are hers and which are her parents, and putting her parents’ items in the cart without the bag. They did not earn the bag and she treats them accordingly.
  • A group of old people came on a field trip to Target and spent ten minutes discussing the new Jungle Book movie before buying a copy. Their reviews were overwhelmingly positive and gleeful.
  • The DVD ran $18.94. The group banded together, pulling out every coin they could find to ensure they gave me exact change. They must have had ten dollars in coins between them. The strength of their teamwork inspired me. The depth of their pockets confounded me.
  • A fly flew directly into my nostril before bouncing around and making a swift exit. I was more impressed by its aim than bothered by its decisions.
  • A woman seemingly stepped out of the 19th century prairie to purchase a frappucino. I think her dress was handmade. Her head scarf still had a price tag.
  • An old couple came through my lane to purchase gardening tools. Anytime one of them turned their back to the other, they would be tickled without warning or mercy. I believe I have just had a glimpse into my future.
  • A very angry old man pulled two full carts through. He purchased a Twix bar, a bottle of Diet Pepsi, 36 pairs of underwear, and 262 adult diapers. I believe I have just had another glimpse into my future.

Day Six:

  • I witnessed the man who talked to me about stealing following suspicious individuals through the store. He was like a private eye shark on a mission. The determination and simultaneous stealth and intimidation he possessed solidified him as my hero.
  • The computer made me card a man for buying Elmer’s glue. I questioned the computer. It gave no answers.
  • A soccer mom walked up to me, frappuccino in hand. She bought a large box of condoms, asked to have them outside of a bag, and then ran out of the store with them.
  • My stash of stickers has been restocked. I can once again please the masses.
  • My manager brought me a concoction he made behind the Starbucks counter. He told me it was meant to taste like a red Starburst. It tasted nothing like a red Starburst. It tasted exactly like a pink Starburst.
  • He also made me a Cookie Monster frap. It was a liquid Oreo. If anyone has contacts at Food Network, please reach out to him for a show.
  • A mother purchased her four year old daughter a Minnie Mouse stuffed animal. She asked the daughter if she wanted to hold it. The child whispered, “No. She is evil.” What does she know that I do not.
  • Another old man purchased twelve boxes of Mello Yello and eight boxes of Sprite. He saved almost as much as he spent. The old man bulk soda purchasing trend continues. I look forward to participating one in my later years.
  • Three team leaders tried to get a refrigerator through a door in a small hallway. The refrigerator was both taller and wider than the door. It took them 45 minutes, but once they succeeded, I was filled with pride.

Day Seven:

  • The Cat Lady returned. She purchased eight cans of cat food and a bag of chips. I asked how she was doing. She replied, “I don’t know, I just got here, this is all I want.” She appeared as confused as I was.
  • A small child was with his mother. From the moment they entered the store to the moment they left, he was shouting, “MOMMY THAT’S OKAY. MOMMY THAT’S OKAY. MOMMY THAT’S OKAY.” His words echoed around the store for the entirety of their visit. His message remains unclear.
  • A woman asked for a refund on a pair of sneakers for her infant. Mother returned, baby shoes, never worn.
  • An old man was dressed in a hat that read “SANTA CLAUS” with a Santa Claus shirt. I want to know his motives. It is only September 2, but I appreciate his enthusiasm.
  • Cat Lady came back. She purchased another case of cat food at the register next to mine. She then loudly announced that she wanted Chinese food. I am beginning to understand her.
  • I spent my break on the phone outside of the store. While on the phone, I was looking at my iPod. While on the phone looking at my iPod, a Best Buy employee walked by, and serenaded me with a song about me. The only lyric I heard was “I got two phones because I got two hands.” I appreciate his art.
  • A second grader sat in the back of his mothers cart. As they approached my lane, I heard him shout “Stupid snacks! I don’t want snacks! I want to go home! Snacks are stupid!” I haven’t disagreed with a person so thoroughly since I last heard Trump speak.
  • His mother pushed the cart behind her in the hopes of hiding her embarrassment. I asked her how she was doing. She said “Good”. Her son yelled “No good”. I asked if she found everything alright. She said “Yes”. Her son yelled “No we did not”. I appreciate his honesty, but after his opinion on snacks, I decided to pay him no heed.

Sounds like a great time…remind me not to apply to Target next time I get fired.

The post Guy Documents Weird AF First Week of Work at Target. Spoiler: People Are Strange appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 High School Teachers Share the Dark Secrets They Keep from Students

Teachers have a rough job. And they also have to keep a lot of the BS to themselves because they can’t exactly come right out and tell their students how much they can’t stand them, right?

That’s why this article is so good.

These teachers got personal on AskReddit and admitted the dark secrets about their jobs.

1. No surprise there

“Your parents are literally the worst part of my job.”

2. Drama, please

“Yes, I put you in a group with the kid you have a crush on intentionally. I’m stuck here with you 180 days a year — I want to see some drama.”

3. Nice try

“The weed smell doesn’t magically disappear between the parking lot and my classroom.”

4. C’mon, parents

“If your parents email a teacher and argue with them, the whole staff knows.”

5. They hear all

“We have much better hearing than you assume. We just choose our battles as it pertains to inappropriate comments.”

6. Don’t stand out

“If I know your name by the third day of a new school year, that means you’re probably an asshole.”

7. Truth bomb

“My students are the reason why I am second-guessing having my own kids.”

8. Joke’s on you

“When you think you are being genius by getting me to talk about random things at the beginning of class instead of ‘teaching.’ I’m really allowing it to happen because I don’t have enough planned to cover a full class.”

9. You stink

“I can smell you. Everyone can. Please, for the love of god, use deodorant.”

10. No one likes that

“I am no longer a teacher, but I remember several days that I felt lazy and wanted to give the class the day off. I never did because I knew the teacher’s pet would rat me out. Sometimes even the teachers don’t like the teacher’s pet.”

11. Scandalous

“A lot of us drink, smoke, and sleep around more than you do, and hearing you try to hide it as if it’s something we wouldn’t know about is richly ironic.”

12. Show some respect

“I’d let you get away with so much more if you were actually a decent person who treated others with kindness and respect. Assholes rarely get the benefit of doubt or indifference.”

13. Look busy

“One of the most valuable lessons I can teach you is to fake looking busy. If we’re supposed to be working on an assignment or reading or whatever, and you see me coming your way…at the least have a piece of paper on your desk and a pen in your hand and some shit on your paper, and then I won’t bother you.”

14. One day

“One day you’re going to come across people who are not being paid to tolerate you, and all of a sudden life is going to become considerably more difficult.”

15. Chill out

“I wish I could let my students know how dumb they look sometimes. And how they need to relax and stop taking themselves so seriously.”

The post 15 High School Teachers Share the Dark Secrets They Keep from Students appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 People Reveal When They Had Weird Feelings About a Situation and They Were Exactly Right

Has your gut ever given you a dire warning that a situation just wasn’t right?

These people certainly have, and their intuitions turned out to be right.

Read on as their share 15 stories of times when their gut was totally spot on at detecting a creepy situation.

1. Thank goodness they didn’t let her go

“A tennis coach at my kid’s club called to ask me if he could take my 10-year-old daughter with the other five players on road trips to play other clubs. I didn’t like it, she was tiny and just 10 years old. He wasn’t even her coach but another coach at the club. We thought he was creepy and to call like that…so I said no.

The coach ended up going to prison for being a creep and violating several girls older than my kid. His son was also 10, and the poor kid was also a victim of the scum bag. He got 15 years in 2009, and will probably be out soon.

He was convicted of three crimes, but the prosecution dropped an additional 22.

It still blows my mind.”

2. Something was off

“My sister was going to visit her friend out of state, so her friend’s friend offered to drive her there. He drove a few hours to get to our house and was noticeably tired when he arrived, so my sister suggested that he just sleep on our couch and they’ll go in the morning.

The entire night, my mom was going in and out of our rooms saying that there was something off about the guy; that she didn’t really like him but couldn’t figure out why. She actually quietly went out the side door and wrote down his license plate at one point.

The next morning, my sister was in the guy’s car for maybe 30 minutes before she felt sick and asked him to just take her home. Which he does, much to my mother’s delight.

>About six months later, my mom was looking at her news feed when she saw a familiar face and called my sister and me over and yelled, ‘I told you something was off about him!’ It turns out that about a year earlier, he murdered his ex-girlfriend and that his friend, who helped him bury her body, finally decided to tell the cops not because he developed a conscience, but because he was mad at him for stealing his toaster.”

3. The new guy

“In college, I worked at a bar and they brought in this new bouncer. From the second I met him, I immediately felt like there was something seriously wrong with him. His smile and eye contact were too intense. I told a coworker that the guy gave me the creeps and she told me she thought he was ‘cute and nice,’ and didn’t get where I was coming from.

A quick Google search pulled up his mug shot and articles about how he was watching his college roommate’s dog one weekend and horribly attacked and abused it.

He burned this poor dog and poured bleach on her. The dog survived and he was arrested. The article talked about how he was laughing at the police arresting him, saying he knew he wouldn’t get in any trouble.

He was fired and told to never come back once management found out.”

4. In on it?

“My mother, who was extremely emotionally and physically abusive, raised four kids by herself. Although she had many siblings and lots of other relatives, no one helped us.

When I was around 12, my mom had a female cousin who started coming around, out of the blue, trying to get my mom to attend church with her. Then, all of a sudden, this same cousin wanted to become my kid sister’s godparent. Okay, whatever.

But I certainly resented the fact that we were all of a sudden being forced to go to church almost every Sunday. I saw it as nothing more than a form of brainwashing.

I always had a sick feeling about her, especially when I had to sit near her in a room. A couple of years later, she started insisting I come along on weekend getaways she would have with my sister at her house. I had absolutely no interest in going.

Not only was I older, but I was thinking, ‘Why do I have to come? She’s not my godmother.’ But, my mom was so weak-minded, psychotic, or just plain evil that she always forced me to go.

When I was around 14 years old, I was still being forced by my own mother to go somewhere that wasn’t necessary, with someone who made me physically sick. I still hadn’t figured out exactly what it was about her that made me so sick.

She was a nurse and had access to certain medications. It turns out that she was medicating me with sedatives when I was at her house, then violating me with her fingers and who knows what else. It really started to bother me how sore and painful I was down below, knowing that I was still pure, or so I thought, and I NEVER felt like that until after I had left her house.

I don’t think she did this to my sister because she was always so fixated on me.

She just used my sister to get to me. It also turns out that pills lose their full effect on you after you’ve been taking them for a while. That is how I found out. I eventually woke up in the middle of being assaulted by her.”

5. Across the street

“I got a bad vibe from the dad across the street when I was a kid. He was a military guy who always seemed to be on a power trip. His oldest son and I went to the same school, and would occasionally carpool.

One day, it was his dad’s turn to drive us. His son stayed home sick, but he offered to drive me all the same.

Thankfully, it wasn’t a long ride, but the entire time he talked about his beat-up Camero. It definitely creeped me out.

A couple of years later, his wife threw him out one morning. It turns out he had been beating the crap out of her for a while. One morning, while hitting her again, he stepped on their 1-year-old baby who was crawling on the floor and broke the kid’s arm.

We never saw him again after that.”

6. Just a phase

“A neighborhood kid I grew up with liked to play with matches and was fascinated with fires of any kind. It made me nervous because a sort of ‘wild look’ came over his eyes when he’d stare at the fire he created.

I even told my parents, who mentioned it to his parents, who thought it was ‘just a phase’ he was going through.

Then, a few years later, it was reported that he burned his parents’ garage down and was being charged with arson and clinically treated for pyromania.”

7. New to the area

“I met a random guy when I was out one night. He was new to the area and was friends with my friend’s brother. He came across as nice and friendly, but then he started being a bit strange, like he kept rubbing my back and touching my legs.

We all went back to my friend’s house, and I was pretty wasted, but this guy kept trying to get me to leave with him without anyone seeing.

I told everyone something was weird about him. It turned out he had been charged with violating a 10-year-old, and that’s why he had left his previous city. He also assaulted a 13-year-old a few weeks before he met me, and the police found he was in possession of a lot of child smut.

My friends had no idea about this guy’s past.

He lived near my friend’s brother, and he had him over at his house in the summer when his kids were running around in swimming suits prior to the discovery. He was devastated and full of guilt when he found out.”

8. Controlling

“My mom and I were in a café and she had her handbag down by her feet. This couple comes in and sits at the table behind us, and he attracted my attention because he kept poking his girlfriend and telling her how to sit and stuff.

The hairs on my neck went up, I hate that controlling type of behavior. He was in my periphery and this guy wouldn’t sit still when my mom asked: ‘Hey, where’s my bag?’

She found it a second later, moved and open – she reached in to get her purse and said: ‘My card is missing!’

So the couple behind had stood and were quickly walking towards the door, and I didn’t even hesitate to say: ‘STOP THAT MAN!’ because I figured I could apologize later if I was wrong. One of the waitresses was right by the door and she followed him out the door, at which point, the guy dropped my mom’s card, mumbled something about having found it, and then ran for it.

I guess if he hadn’t been such a jerk to his girlfriend, I probably wouldn’t have noticed.”

9. A sixth sense

“My parents tell me that when I was around 4 years old, I was the most extroverted kid. I LOVED going out and about with my parents so I could wave hello to every single person I saw. I never met a stranger.

Little old ladies LOVED me. I would let anyone hold me if they wanted. To the point that my parents were alarmed at how I didn’t mind people I had never met before holding me and bouncing me on their lap.

We had some elderly neighbors who were nice as could be.

One day, their 30-something son came to live with them. The old couple had told my parents about him moving in and how excited they were. Well, they came to our house to introduce him to us since we were in the driveway.

Apparently, I got really quiet when they were walking toward me and when the guy spoke to me, I screamed and hid behind my dad’s legs. My parents thought it was out of character so they actively avoided allowing me to be near him in the weeks that followed.

A few months later, he was arrested for child trafficking and possession of hundreds of pictures and videos of child smut.”

10. Watch out

“I worked for a call center a few years ago and there was a guy that sat at the desk across from me. He was about 50 years old and was not married. I’m young enough to be his daughter.

He would do anything to talk to me.

Come by my desk, run into me in the break room, get in the elevator with me, and what not. It was excessive, but never threatening. At least not at first.

He started to say inappropriate things about my outfits, but I figured he was an awkward dude that did not know how to flirt.

I just brushed him off time and time again, but something was definitely off about him.

At one point, the secretary came up to me and asked if he was bothering me, and I told her what had been happening.

He only did this with the blonde women at the office. He was notorious for harassing them. It started small, but then he would slowly transition into asking them to hook up, even offering to pay for it.

Knowing this, I avoided him altogether. I would pretend he was not there, even if he was talking to me directly. I would catch him staring at me, but he backed down a lot after he realized that I wouldn’t give in.

One day, I came into work and he was gone.

His desk was cleared off. Totally empty. He apparently had sent another blonde woman a bunch of flowers and followed her out to the parking lot when she got off work. He had parked his car right next to hers and tried to force her into his car to go home with him, but she got away.

He was fired and escorted off the property THE NEXT DAY by police.

I’m not sure why he decided to come back, or why he wasn’t arrested sooner, but he was caught at work and removed.”

11. Knives

“When I used to work at a deli, we hired a 20-something kid that looked like the serial killer, Ed Kemper sans the mustache.

At first, he would amuse us by telling us stories about how he had fought off eight guys carrying weapons, or how his girlfriend was a model who traveled all the time (and that is why we never saw her).

Then things started getting bad, especially when someone angered him. I would catch him talking to himself, saying things like, ‘If I see her again, I am going to stick this in both her eyes.’

Management caught wind of this and canned him almost immediately.

Ten months later, we found out he actually went to prison for attempting to assault someone with a knife.”

12. The stepdad

“I always had a weird feeling about my stepdad.

He always made me uncomfortable and I always felt like he was watching me. He would make comments about my body and wardrobe, causing me to feel insecure and watch what I wore around him.

When I told my mom, she would say things like ‘he’s old-fashioned’ or ‘he’s just looking out for you.’

My mom had gone out of the country to visit family leaving my stepdad, myself and my older brother to take care of the house.

One night, my brother went to a party and I stayed home because I worked early the next morning, but left my bedroom door open so I could hear my brother come home and make sure he made it safe. Instead, my stepdad decided to crawl into my bed and try to assault me.

It was one of the scariest moments of my life.

I pushed him off and ran to the bathroom. I was so freaked out I just grabbed my work clothes and went to my car and drove off to a random neighborhood and slept in my car.

My mom found out a year later because I told my older brother, but she’s never talked to me about it.

She’s still with him too. As for me, I am in therapy to deal with my trauma and I feel like I’m getting better.

When I told my brother, we gathered all the money we had been saving up and moved out a month later.

I am blessed to have a brother who loves me and took me out of a bad place. He’s been one of my support systems through all of this.”

13. Jokes

“I used to work at a local restaurant when I was 19 years old. I loved working there, but I ended up quitting because of some jerk that was hired. He was in his mid-30s and gave every girl in the restaurant the absolute creepiest vibes.

He was constantly saying inappropriate stuff about his past and was just a jerk to people in general.

I hated working with him because he creeped me out and was also just mean. I started trading shifts to get away from him.

One day, a night shift manager was fired, and our boss put the creepy guy in a temporary managerial position. I immediately went to our boss and told him I was uncomfortable with the idea and explained how creepy he was.

My boss leveled with me and said that the guy had no actual manager power and was just temporary until he found someone else. He was just there to run shifts. My boss arranged it so my schedule never crossed over with the creep.

One day, a coworker of mine got sick and I was asked to cover her shift.

I got there and the creep was managing. I thought I could deal with one night, but a friend of mine called the store sobbing. She had tried to call my cell around a hundred times but it was in my purse.

She was crying hysterically and told me she had been assaulted and didn’t know what to do or where to go but that she was horrified and too scared to leave.

I told my friend I would be right there and told the manager I had an emergency and would be leaving.

It was a slow night and I wasn’t needed anyway but he freaked out and tried to physically stop me, demanding to know my emergency. I tried to sidestep it, but I eventually told him my friend had been assaulted.

He burst out laughing in my face and told me that was hilarious and not an excuse to leave. I told him to get lost and shoved past him. He told me I couldn’t leave and I said watch me. I went outside and burst into tears and called my boss and told him I quit after explaining what happened.

A few months later, I was working at my new job and a former coworker came in and said they had some news for me.

Apparently, two police officers showed up at my old workplace and served papers to the guy. He had been stalking a girl for the last five years and it started when she was 14 years old. He had also assaulted her.”

14. A new priest

“This is creepy in a different way than most, but I think it’s relevant. Twenty years ago, when I was a practicing Christian, my church got a new priest. He may as well have been God himself the way people fawned over him.

I liked him at first, too. Then, after a few brief conversations, I got this feeling that his entire life was a major power trip, and he was in no way cut out to lead a congregation of actual human beings.

After he made an off-the-cuff remark to me about being divorced (the shock!), I was like, ‘Later dude’ and transferred to another church.

People thought I was nuts, because how could I not adore Father Perfect the way they did?

After a few months, I noticed a trickle of people from my former parish in my new church, and that trickle eventually became more like a flood.

‘Father Perfect’ had formerly been a highly respected surgeon with a God complex, and he was quite used to giving orders and having them carried out without question (as I would imagine is necessary for a surgical suite).

Not the best quality for a man of the cloth.

Eventually, he drove out several deacons, the choir leader, the sexton, and about half the congregation. He put a message on the church answering machine about what types of messages could and couldn’t be left.

He was a total control freak who apparently mistook himself for God. He finally left after the parish completely fell apart.”

15. He loved to chat

“There’s an older guy who visits my workplace a lot just to chat with our staff. He never buys anything – he just really loves talking to us. The first time I met him, we wound up chatting for a solid 15 minutes.

It was ALMOST a pleasant experience (I love chatting with friendly customers), but for some reason, he put me on edge. He spent the whole 15 minutes telling me about his life’s adventures – starring in a Smashing Pumpkins tribute band, getting detained at the airport for having a weapon (he said he was in the military and was flying overseas to do some training exercises in America or something and there was a misunderstanding about his paperwork), and he told me about his work as a guidance counselor.

He flowed from one story to the next without any discernible link connecting them but he was charismatic enough to keep the conversation flowing smoothly anyway. I felt lost at sea.

On the surface, he seemed like a well-traveled, genuinely friendly guy.

But he still set off a bunch of alarm bells in my head.

My general rule with chatty people is: ‘Friendly is good unless you are AGGRESSIVELY excited to be talking to me.’ He definitely fell into the aggressive category.

Later I mentioned the guy to a coworker. He said he thought the guy was creepy too.

Apparently, during one of this guy’s visits, he held my coworker hostage and told him (very cheerily) all about the time he got in a bar fight and he murdered a guy with his three buddies.”

The post 15 People Reveal When They Had Weird Feelings About a Situation and They Were Exactly Right appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 People Share the Weirdest Date They’ve Ever Been on

Dating is odd. Sometimes you hit the jackpot, but most of the time…well, you know.

AskReddit users were nice enough to share their most cringeworthy date experiences for your reading pleasure. Share yours in the comments!

1. Run!

“Met with a girl in a dark university bar. Everything is going well. We eventually go outside because there is a mechanical bull we are goin to try. As soon as she gets on the bull, I realize she is at least 10 years older than she claimed and has a rotten meth tooth. After asking her a few questions, she admits that she has two kids outside of the state and has no interest in them.

She also admits to having a girlfriend with whom she is not sexual. She is physical with her though. She starts showing me pictures of her girlfriend with bound breasts…like ropes around them bonding them. This girlfriend of hers is white, but her breasts are black from being beaten in while bound. I was young and completely unprepared for this. We ended the night early and I even got the courage to tell her I wasn’t interested instead of ghosting her like I truly wanted to do.”

2. He knew she was a keeper

“Probably the 2nd date with my now wife. Some guy paid me to get revenge on a buddy of his and wanted me to scatter a few hundred pounds of potatoes into his buddies front yard. It was near where I was planning on taking my now wife and she said she would be cool with helping. So we drove to this guys house, made sure he was not home, filled his yard and driveway with potatoes together then went on our date.”

3. Meet my father

“I went on a date with a guy named Dan when I was in my late teens. Dan said “I’d like you to meet my father, he’s going to love you”

So I got in the car and as we started heading out of town I asked where we were going and Dan said “you’ll see, we’re almost there”

15 minutes later we pull I to a cemetery and he says come with me, I was nervous as I followed him down a little hill and he kneeled down in front of a tombstone and said “dad, she’s going to be my wife someday”.

That was the first and last date Dan and I ever had.”

4. Two tales

“I will tell about both worst weird, and best weird because, I can’t really pick one

Worst weird was this guy that was a avid hiker like me, and suggested we do a quite easy, very known and travelled circuit by the coast. The weather was great ( sunny, windy, the very best for a hike) but.. The guy spend the three hours of the circuit reciting BY HEART all the people having committed suicide on the path ( a part of it was near a cliff so people used to go Sprotch when they wanted to cancel their subscription to Life ™ ) and he knew. Just. So. Many. I mean, it was odd at first, creepy soon after and quickly descended into terrifying. Needless to say no second date was had.

Weird cute one was with a guy I dated for some time after: we were just sipping coffee on a bench when his phone went off : his brother’s wife had gone into early labor and said brother was freaking out, and in his soon to be a dad way ahead of plan frenzy, shouted: ” the baby’s room isn’t even painted!”. Cue my date leaping in with a ” I got this, stay with your wife!” , pocketed his phone, turned to me and went ” I have a double of his keys.. wanna help me paint the room ?”
“What, like, now?”

“Yep”

“Ho. ok”

And we spent half a day painting a kid’s room. That was fun, all things considered!”

5. Don’t tell anyone you’re a mechanic

“I have a bad habit of telling people I’m a mechanic too early into knowing them because I really enjoy it and I like talking about it. The last date I had involved about 20 minutes of us actually talking to each other about things like school, what books we’re reading, and video games. When we get to the part about what we do for a living, I tell her I’m a mechanic. She immediately drops all conversation and begs me to go fix her car right then and there.

I’m a little too nice of a person and couldn’t say no at that moment, so we pay for our drinks and leave. As soon as I see her car I know I made a mistake, it’s been recently wrecked and should not have been on the road. She then starts to tell me about how a friend of hers says it only needs a few repairs and it should be good to go, when in reality it probably should have been totaled with how bad the front end was caved in.

I tell her this and she starts yelling at me saying I must not know what I’m doing, then says I need to fix it anyway and that she needs to borrow my car to go run some errands at 10:30 at night. I tell her no, and that I’ll call her a tow truck since I have AAA, and that I don’t think we’re going to work out. It’s been 3 weeks since then and I still get calls from her asking her what’s wrong with her car.”

6. Cat-fished

“I essentially got cat-fished by a coworker. There had been some mutual attraction months before but I decided it wasn’t a good idea and told her we should just be friends. Then she made a fake online dating profile, used her knowledge of my likes/dislikes to attract me to this profile, carried on extensive communication pretending to be someone else, and then showed up to our date expecting me to suddenly fall head over heels in love with her.

She showed up at the date and I asked her what she was doing there, she replied “I think you know why I’m here” and I got in my car and left without saying anything. Eight years later and her cubicle is still 15 feet away from mine.”

7. Sounds a little unhinged

“So many adventures, so I’ll stick with the highlights. Dinner seemed to go all right, except that he drank most of a shared pitcher of margaritas by himself, then drank all the liquor I had at home. I was kind of irked, so we go searching for more.

The first place was closing up (it’s Sunday), so he goes up and bangs on the windows, loudly demanding that they sell us some beer and calling them assholes while I die of embarrassment. At the next place, after they served us, he casually said, “Oh yeah, I don’t have any money, so you’re going to have to get that.” (Not that I expected him to pay for my beer, but he expected me to pay for for his.)

In conversation, he mentioned that his favorite book was Ulysses and compared himself to Jack Kerouac. I asked him what kind of movies he liked, only for him to snottily retort that he watches “films.” He had me read a short story he wrote that, frankly, was pretty terrible, but when I offered polite criticism, he got angry and said I just didn’t understand. That was the problem with being a “natural writer,” he said. No one understands.

At one point during the evening he wanted to check on his dog. He said it wasn’t far, but it turned out to be a long drive to the middle of nowhere. Nothing was open, and I had to piss really bad. It was the most resentful roadside pee imaginable.

After he snapped at me about not understanding his writing, I said I was tired and he should go. He asked me for $3.00 for gas. I wanted him gone so much I actually gave it to him.

I later found out that he had a huge coke problem, and he told the mutual friend who set us up that we had sex that night but that I ghosted him after. The ghosting part was true, anyway.”

8. A whole series of them

“Mine is a series of dates that led to the weirdest one.

I was a student at a big state school and it was very possible to meet someone at a party and never see them again. I chatted with a woman a few times who was always interesting and engaging. She was a Christian and outspoken about her faith. I’m cool with that, but I’m not all that outspoken myself.

I asked her out to dinner and a movie after the second or third time of running into her and chatting and she said yes. I wanted to keep it traditional and do the whole date thing, so I cleaned up and picked her up to go to a restaurant and a movie. It went well. We hugged, said our goodbyes, and that was it.

We wound up going out again for a drink or something and things seemed to go okay a second time. It was sort of platonic, but we never had a conversation where we said that we were just going to be friends or something else. In either case, we were definitely going on dates.

So, I invited her out on my signature move- a canoe trip on a local river. It’s spring-fed, crystal-clear, and there are a number of deep springs with floating docks. It’s a great time. We both worked retail and had a day off in the middle of the week so that was the plan.

When she got in the truck, she was surprised to hear that she would be needing a bathing suit to go canoeing (?) and so we stopped at Target for her to buy one. I received specific instructions to stay in the truck while she shopped. No big deal.

When she got back to the truck, she let me know that she bought a two piece because all of the one piece bathing suits didn’t work. Awesome. Things are going swimmingly. Except she followed up with “it doesn’t matter. You will never see me in a bathing suit anyway.” That was weird, but okay.

The canoeing was fun. We swam. She swam in a T shirt. That was weird. But, overall, we had fun. On the way back to town, I asked if she wanted to order a pizza and watch a movie. She said she couldn’t, because she and her roommate had a policy that boys were not allowed over alone. Then she backed up and said that well, since these weren’t dates and we weren’t dating, that it would be okay for me to come over, but I had to leave by 9:00.

Hold up, I said. These are dates. She got all weird about how these weren’t dates, that we were just friends, and that she was not going to date. God would provide her with a husband on his accord. Right, I said. And these are dates. I’m not sure how you missed that.

She went on to talk about dating and marriage and then dropped that she knew I wasn’t the one because God told her that her husband was a baseball player. She knew that her husband was going to be a baseball player and she would consider going on a date with a baseball player, but it would be a stretch.

I rescinded my offer to watch a movie and order a pizza, and that I didn’t think I was interested in going down this road. Shortly after, she called my phone about a dozen times in a row because she had a flat tire and wanted me to come change it. I told her to check with the baseball team.

Epilogue- Some time later I was at a party, standing around a keg, and doing normal college student stuff when one bro asked another bro if he remembered to invite his girlfriend to the party. People in the know laughed and eventually the story came out that this random girl would come to every baseball practice and every baseball game by herself, stare, and pray. She’d try and interject herself in awkward and creepy ways and she would randomly show up wherever they were. This was pre-social media, so it had to have taken a lot of effort to make this happen.

So, there you go. Don’t not date crazy religious women who are betrothed to collegiate athletes.”

9. Impostor

“The guy faked an Italian accent the entire time.

He was from Florida.”

10. Okay…

“Once had a girl get up and go to the bathroom during a make-out session. Came back with her head shaved.

I asked why she did that, she told me her “head was too hot” and she “had been thinking about doing it for a while”

Okay.

Made out for a little while longer until I could think of an excuse and got the hell out of there.”

11. Oh my

“I’ve got a weird one

met a girl at a bar

went back to her place

she did the whole whipped cream bikini thing

the whipped cream was spoiled

I muscle through sour whipped cream

30 minutes into fun time her daughter walks in on us that I didn’t even know was there or that she even had kids

another 15 minutes and her Aunt & Uncle walk in on us… yeah- wasn’t even her house but her Aunts.

She then breaks down in tears and starts telling me about being abused and her old heroin addiction.

then proceeded to tell me about her 2 other kids

I nope right the fuck out of there

a week or so later I see in the newspaper that she was in a car accident and died

surviving family members in the obituary included her current husband.”

12. Getting back out there

“First date after a broken engagement for me.

This girl kept telling me how much she wanted to go on a date with me off tinder. I was hesitant but she was persistent. Well, we got to the coffee shop and had some really nice conversation. Then she said she had some coworkers down the street that were at the Arcade Bar playing in a Mario Kart competition and if I would like to join in? Hell yes! We went down, got some beers and met the coworkers, super cool dudes.

She spent the rest of the night dodging around the bar trying to avoid them. Kept telling me how weird it was that they were here… uhh yeah but this was YOUR idea girl. Then she went to the bathroom and as she was getting up looked and me and said,

“can I bring my beer or are you going to drug me?”

Me “Uhh, what?”

“Are you going to drug me?”

“No, why the hell would I do that?”

“Ok.” Gets up to leave… “Actually, i’m going to bring my beer.”

Then when she gets back..

“My mom isn’t going to like YOU.”

Me “Uhh, ok why not?”

“You have me drinking on a thursday, I never do this. I can’t believe you made me.”

me “All of this was your idea, every single thing about it!”

Then when I walked her back to her car, she sprinted the last block to her car, got in and drove off. Then texted me telling me what a great time she had and if we could set up a time to meet again.

Edit: since people are enjoying this.

I had another tinder date with a second girl.

She invited me over to watch a movie. I came over and she was watching a movie with her roommate. They were already 25 minutes into the movie when I got there.

They didn’t want to talk while they watched the movie either.

So I sat awkwardly for two hours at a movie I didn’t know what was going on in. And neither of them would tell me what was happening.

Then movie ended and I got the hell out of there.”

13. Hi mom!

“Tinder date. Woke up to her mom knocking on her locked bedroom door and she made me hide under her bed while she had a full conversation with her mother.

She had her own apartment.”

14. AWKWARD

“I was on an exchange program with a French school and matched with one of the girls in my class on tinder. We didn’t speak before but we made an appointment via messages to meet at her place to watch a movie. We then realized that I didn’t speak French at all and that she could only communicate with me because she put everything I wrote and everything she wanted to say into google translator but she didn’t speak a single word in English.

So we watched a Movie and tried not to be awkward. I wanted to make a move but not being able to speak with her made it very weird for me I don’t exactly know why. So I didn’t do anything and when the movie ended there was a long uncomfortable silence… that was probably the most awkward moment in my life.”

15. Just like a Seinfeld episode

“She talked about herself in the 3rd person the whole time. I didn’t realize until the date was almost over that she did not have a best friend with the same name as her.”

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10+ Tweets That You Need in Your Life Right Now

You need to read these tweets RIGHT THIS INSTANT.

And I don’t want to hear any arguments.

So go do it!

1. You sonofabitch!

2. I ask for gum…

3. He does. He does…

4. Fam is fam

5. Naw, it’s the first kind of description for me…

6. That skull-having motherfucker! That’s mine!

7. If this doesn’t make you laugh, you dead.

8. I hungry.

9. Tweet! Tweet! Tweet!

10. Ohhhh gurl!!! You got them ketchup fingers…

11. I love this man

12. Don’t think you haven’t thought this before…

13.

See? I told you that you needed them tweets!

You’re welcome!

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Clam Chowder Popsicles Are Here to Potentially Ruin Your Summer

I bet you can’t wait to chase down the ice cream truck down to get your hands on a popsicle this summer!

Well, I don’t mean to ruin your good mood, your love of popsicles, or your life, but some evil person posted the photo below on a Reddit page and outraged just about everyone. Oh, and they posted on it on the BOSTON Reddit page for good measure.

Ladies and gentlemen…the Clam Chowder Popsicle.

Summah is here! #NewEngland #clamchowdah from boston

Some of the comments on the photo on Reddit include:

“I’m calling the FBI.”

“I will spend 10 whole minutes in the Red Line rather than eat that.”

“I can smell this, you wretched f*ck. I can smell the picture.”

“I regret being born with eyes.”

“Oh my god. So f*cking gross…and what self respecting Bostonian eats Chunky f*cking chowder. My god you can get decent clam chowder here almost as easily as you can get a large regular from Dunkin.”

I think it’s safe to say that people on Twitter are not happy about this new development in the world of frozen treats, either.

Because why would anybody do this?

Whyyyyyy?!?!?!

They clearly only have a heart filled with evil.

And someone tweeted this out, which may lead to months of therapy for some of us.

Apparently, the person who posted the photo said in a Reddit message, “I did not make or eat the thing. My friend made it. I have no idea why she did it.”

So the good news is these babies aren’t for sale…yet.

I’m sorry you had to see this…

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These 30 Kids Are Really Bad at Hide-And-Seek

Not everybody can be a natural at hide-and-seek. For some, it takes practice.

In homage to all of those people, here are 30 kids who are still learning the ropes of the game:

#30. This one’s pretty impressive, but also a poor spot.

Photo Credit: Jackie Blackshear

#29. A blindingly bad idea.

Photo Credit: imgur

#28. So much wrong going on.

Photo Credit: greecedlightnin

#27. Sometimes, you gotta bag it up.

Photo Credit: Stephlynn3

#26. Points for attempted camo.

Photo Credit: octbar

I had a hard time deciding how to rank? Cutest? Worst? Funniest.

I’m still not sure how I decided to rank them, but I know they’re all f’n awesome.

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6
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All Women Have the Same Freckle on Their Wrist. Take a Look, We’ll Wait.

A Twitter user recently pointed out something that was staring us in the face this whole time, but none of us noticed this feature most women have in common.

It started off with an innocent question…

“Ladies… you got a freckle on the middle of your wrist or is this a myth,” Aaryn asked.

The answer was YASSSSS!!!! So many women had a freckle in that exact spot!

And so they shared…

Because this is wild, ya’ll!

Shocking to say the least!

Some weren’t so sure…

But that’s because they didn’t look closely enough!

And yeah, you’re right to freak…

Because it’s there. Just need to uncover it.

And look at both wrists, ladies!

To answer the following question: “Because.”

So yeah… that’s crazy right?

The question is now… do you have a freckle in the middle of your wrist?

Snap a shot and leave it in the comments!

The post All Women Have the Same Freckle on Their Wrist. Take a Look, We’ll Wait. appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Woman Claimed Poor People Have No Class. People on Twitter Politely Showed Her Who Really Has No Class.

Get ready to meet someone who is completely terrible!

This self-proclaimed ‘blue collar millionaire’ cause outrage on Twitter when she had the nerve to say, “broke people are usually very low class, have extremely bad manners, have zero etiquettes and no class at all whatsoever.”

Yeah, it’s gonna get ugly…

The beginning is friendly enough… O_O

And we can all relate to this story, right???

To be fair, I can actually see how this would be annoying…

Melissa… maybe you’re trying too hard?

I honestly don’t believe this happened…

Because I can’t imagine people who LOVE food not wanting “food” like this…

But let’s just say this is true… THIS is what ruined you forever with people?

Sure you do Melissa. All of those high end friends just LOVING those lavish gifts you’re sending their way…

And, well, things on Twitter got ugly from there.

Because why not?

She kind of had it coming…

The irony is not lost on Twitter…

And is this really about desserts? Or something more?

I’m dead.

Positive vibes only pls…

Classy is as classy does…

Oh bless her up and down and left and right…

Right? Totally positive!

This could be it!

But is she rich? IS SHE?!?!

Melissa apparently couldn’t handle the ‘positivity.’

But we all know why she did this. So other people would visit her website.

Does this actually work? Can she shame people into buying her shit?

Your thoughts on this wealthy and classy person? Comment them down below and let us know.

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15 People Who Survived Murder Attempts Share Their Stories

The details of these 15 murder attempts are crazy and true – and, since they have happy endings, they also make for interesting reading.

Take a look at these stories.

#15. Got bad vibes.

Mines not extreme by any chance but a couple of years ago my brother and I went to walk the dog at like 11pm. We left through the side gate (live on a corner) and right as we exit I see this weird looking dude at the corner of the footpath walking weirdly towards us. Got bad vibes and told my brother to get the dog and get back inside. This dude is walking kind of side on and hiding something in his hand behind his back, as I’m getting my brother through the gate the dude says something like “oi mate can I come in, I need a blanket I’m freezing” I just ignored him and went inside and locked the door. We then get a call from the people who live two doors up, the same dude knocked on their door and their 10yo son opened it to see the dude holding a fucking hatchet. Anyway I’m glad I went with my gut on that one

#14. Thank god for nosy neighbors.

Thank God for my nosey neighbors. I always used to hate how nosey they were. Until this happened. When I was about 10 I was riding my bike outside. My parents always let me ride my bike outside during the summer, but only up and down the street we were on. One day, a man in a fan was parked across the street. He called to me, asking me if I had seen his dog and could help him find it. Me, being a dumb child, offered to help him find it, and I started walking towards his van. My neighbor, and older white lady, came BOLTING out of her house hooting and yelling, telling the guy to back off. The dude got back in his car in a hurry and took off, and it wasn’t until many years later that I realized how bad that situation could have been.

#13. I went furious.

I (18F back then, now 25) was on my way home at night after meeting a friend.

My home was just 10 minutes away from the trainstation. After a few minutes I felt someone following me. No big deal I tought, just someone else walking home. But I started walking faster. I realized the person behind me was catching up…weird. In my head I started to make up scenarios of how to defend myself if the person would attack me. Never would I think of this to actually happen.

Well, until I felt something on the back of my head, hitting me hard. I went furious. I turned around and attacked the guy. My mind was just full of anger towards this stranger who, what I thought, hit me.

We were wrestling until I fell on the ground. He was sitting on top of me, strangling me. I tried to crawl my nails into his eyes as deep as I could, but I started to black out. Suddenly there was this tought in my head “wake up, or you will die”…well, adrenaline kicked in again and I opened my eyes and screamed of the top of my lungs, attacking him again.

That helped. He stood up and began to run. I layed there for a few seconds, then I started to run home, still screaming.

My mom was already at our door and opened for me because my screams woke her up (or her mother senses, who knows?) She immeadiately called the cops and they could arrest him on the same night.

It turned out that he actually shot me in my head from behind. They assume that the gun didn’t work properly, the bullet didnt penetrate my skull and stuck in there, but as far as I know they never found out why the gun misfired. I’m glad though. He told the cops that he already followed me a few times in the past, but never had the guts to “do it”. He wanted to kill me and rape my dead body.

I know that’s a wild story, I have some swiss news paper articles as a source if someone cares though.

#12. They never found them.

I was 14 and outside in my garage petting my cat. It was November so it was already dark by 5pm. Someone opened the door behind me without me hearing, grabbed me by my Ponytail and starting dragging me outside. They hit me on my head with a brick and knocked me out. Pulled me halfway around my house when (I’m guessing this is when) they stabbed me on the left side of my stomach. This must have brought me out of my daze, because my mom said she heard me scream from inside where she and my brother And sister were in the kitchen. They came out the front door and saw me bleeding out on the side walk, called 911. had 12 stitches (double layer) a severe Concussion, and whiplash. didn’t eat and hardly slept for a week. They never found them.

Edit: somehow believed for nearly 14 years I was 15 when this happened, turns out I was 14. Edited to correct.

2nd edit: thank you so much for my first gold! ☺

#11. This was also a mistake.

I was riding in a train across Eastern Europe. I was running low on money and even though I had been warned that a woman should not travel alone in second class seating I did not spring for first class. I was sitting alone in one of the compartments that seats six. This was also a mistake and a very stupid one to sit alone. Eventually the train stopped and a man got on – he was very drunk. He came into my compartment and I guess thought I looked like his ex-wife.

He attacked me. If it were not for the fact that this particular station was the border between two countries I would be dead. Instead border patrol from both countries were on the train and while I was unable to scream, the door was open and at least a half a dozen uniformed men jumped him and saved me. I was in the hospital for a little while but recovered. At one point during the trial, one of the cops asked me if I wanted him and his buddies to hold the guy down while I hit him. I thought he was joking. So I said no, go ahead you do it. I was also joking. But it turns out they took it seriously and were about to! I did put a stop to that at least. But they were so offended that someone from their country would attack a young female American tourist. They were furious with him. So many people there depended upon tourism

#10. Don’t think he saw me at all.

Was a bouncer at a club in LA for a minute in the 90’s. Stopped some dudes clearly affiliated (in a gang) at the door after they refused security checks. After a few minutes of their threats & Manson lamps they left spewing all sort of warnings.

A little later it starts to wind down and because it’s a little slow & we’re overstaffed so I start to drink. I get a bit drunk (not wasted, but sleepy-buzzed) so I tell my buddy I’m going to go lay down in the back of his car for a while.

A few minutes after lying down I realize I have to piss. I get out and stumble a few into a spot between a guard gate (for a parking lot) and a building for a little privacy (there’s a few dozen people milling around in front of the club). I’m about 25 feet away from the club’s entrance and just off an alleyway.

While I’m relieving myself, a dude runs right past in front of me, around the guard booth to my rear, and unloads a 9mm (recovered rounds from back seat/trunk/roof/bumper) into the back seat of the car I’d just crawled out of.

“bam bam bam bam…” Unloading into the car.

He then turns, runs right back past me, and down the alley into the night. Don’t think he saw me at all.

Nothing really came of it. Except my partner was convinced I was a “marked man” and refused to be near me for a year or so.

Edit: holy crap, I kind of expected this to get buried. This was Los Angeles. I was about 25 (almost 50 now) so some specifics are long gone – but I remember this: my buddy was genuinely terrified by this, I don’t think he knew anything about it (in fact he seemed to interpret the event as a larger conspiracy to have me snuffed – not some random pissed off dude making a point/getting jumped in) and because he ditched the car/wouldn’t take my calls it got left at that. For those concerned with the car – it was, like, a 1980’s rusted out sedan…maybe a $500 car. Details about the slugs/number of rounds fired were relayed to me later by third parties (my friend and I were known in the neighborhood, people were talking about it). Thank you for the well wishes. Honestly though, this wasn’t even the first time I was shot at (it’s been a long strange trip).

Edit 2: Also, I tried to argue later that it’s just as likely the guy was shooting at someone else across the street and that the car just got in the way. But there were holes all through that thing. Back seat had 4/5, another 2/3 went into the back window and ended up in the backs of the front seats, another 2/3 rounds went right into the trunk. I honestly don’t know if he was a terrible shot, or if he hit right what he was aiming for.

Apologies if I’m doing this wrong, I suck at Reddit.

#9. He was stabbed 7 times.

I have a friend who had a party at his parents house when he was in high school that a ton of random people went to. He got super drunk during the party and went upstairs to go to sleep, knowing that his friends would watch the party for him. My friend woke up from his nap to a guy from his school sitting on top of him stabbing him death. He was stabbed seven times before it stopped and he laid there on the bed dying.

The only reason he is still alive is because his best friend came upstairs to ask him if it was alright if he made a frozen pizza and found him. The assailant was put in jail and recently was released and it scares me to know that a guy who “wanted to know what it would feel like to kill someone” (said during the trial), is still out there free.

#8. I was very confused.

My supposed best friend decided that my wife and I were too perfect. Therefore it must all be an act and I was obviously abusing her.

He was at our house after I made an awesome dinner and we were having fun drinking and singing karaoke.

I went to the kitchen to put some glasses away, came back and leaned on the couch with him slightly behind me to the left of me.

Then I heard a thunk and felt an amazing amount of pain on the top of my head. He had picked up the whiskey bottle on the table and smashed it into my skull.

I was very confused as to wtf was happening. Then the blood started pouring. I didn’t want to get blood everywhere so I went to the kitchen.

Dude is pacing back and forth saying weird shit. I thought about my gun (which was close by) but I wasn’t thinking quite straight. He left.

I had a huge concussion and still suffer side effects from it.

My number 2 goal in life is to live longer then that asshat just so I can shit on his grave.

#7. I was too late.

I was exiting a bar once after last call and was with a friend who was a medic. We saw a girl laying in a snow bank near a telephone pole who had just been hit by a car. We ran over and tried to help her, some others were already on the phone with 911 and I, not having any medical training didn’t have anything to contribute but didn’t want to just leave, the whole situation was concerning.

I turn around for a second and start to hear people screaming… I turn around a a minivan was heading for us, the few people around this woman. They already started to run, but I was too late…​

He hit me as I was trying to flee… put the car in reverse, ran over me again, and then went forward and run over me a third time.

Turns out the guy was high and drunk and got into a fight with the women’s bf, whom I bared a strong resemblance too. He thought I was him. Not to throw a pity party for myself but 9 years later I have a ton of medical issues, and my life pretty much started on a downward spiral since then… but sure, I guess I “survived”.

Edit: For everyone wondering about the guy, An off duty cop watched the whole thing go down, and copied his license plate number. He was apprehended 20 minutes later & charged with attempted murder, along with many other things.

He plea’d out to just 3 years in jail. He had actually killed someone else a few years before drunk driving. How they thought that was appropriate is beyond me.

#6. Next thing I know.

This all happened many years ago.

I was a lead man at a factory. A girl starts working there, and I take an interest. After a few months, I find out she is in a terrible drug-fueled abusive relationship. Every night, I tell her to call me, I’ll come get her. Finally after months, she calls me, I come get her and take her to my house.

The guy she was in the relationship with didn’t take too kindly to me taking her away. He spends the next 2 years harassing and threatening us.

A few months after she and I got married we went out for a few drinks. Her ex just happened to be at the bar we went to. He apologized to us for the threats and harassment. We were sitting outside talking with a few other people.

Next thing I know, I’m on my back on the ground with someone choking me. I try all I can to get them off of me, but being blindsided and them being on top of me, it wasn’t easy. As I struggle to get free, everything goes black, then I see “the light at the end of the tunnel”. In that moment I was certain that this was the end of me. I somehow manage to get a better hold of this person’s head, and I yank them off of me. We run to the car and get away.

A week or so later, my wife had been talking to everyone she thinks might know what happened. Turns out, her ex had paid 2 people $50 to kill me that night.

#5. Drive away, sweetheart.

I was abducted at a gas station during undergrad. The locks on my car were broken, and as soon as I got back in, a strange man came in and forced me to drive him to an ATM. I am paralyzed with fear so any sense or reason I had went out the window. He claimed he worked at Wendy’s and for my generosity he would give me all the Wendy’s I ever wanted. On the way to the ATM he showed me pictures of his daughters (on his clearly stolen cell phone). Then a Whitney Houston song came on the radio and he starts BAWLING his eyes out and screaming “Why do all the good people have to die, only bad things should happen to bad people.” I go to the ATM, take out cash, give it to him thinking it’s over. He then makes me get back in the car and drive him somewhere else. We pass by some train tracks and I’m thinking this is it, this is where I will be murdered. He asks me what I’m studying in school, and I tell him Biochemistry. “I believe in jet propulsion and all that shit. WE ARE NOT ALONE ALIENS ARE AMONG US.” He then makes me pull over at a gas station and he tells me “drive away sweetheart”. I call the cops, had to do a line-up, apparently this dude had done this to a ton of other women, and some were less unscathed than I was….

#4. He was perfectly civil.

Throwaway because it got some media. I’m a criminal defense attorney. I was representing this guy that had embezzled almost $500k from his business partner. He was looking down the barrel at several years in prison, a bunch of his assets had been seized by the government, was being sued by multiple creditors for north of $2 million, and was in the midst of an ugly divorce and wasn’t allowed to see his kids. I was one of 3 lawyers he had – criminal, civil and divorce. He was drinking a lot and using coke — I used to get this incoherent phone calls in the middle of the night that ranged from threats to crying.

He came to my office one day and asked for me but I was in court. My secretary said he was perfectly civil. He then went to his divorce lawyer’s office and shot him to death. Got stopped by the police a short distance away and was wounded in a shootout. He would later tell the cops that he had come to my office to shoot me that day and also planned to shoot his civil attorney.

#3. I was supposed to sleep there.

Sophomore year of college went with a friend to go hang out at his old college. We were supposed to crash with a few friends of his but we met a few ladies and ended up at a pool party. Next day went home and my friend started getting calls from one of his buddies moms asking if he’d seen him.

Turns out in the middle of the night a few guys broke into the house kidnapped my friends buddy and roomate. Took there car and drove them out to the middle if nowhere and executed them. I guess it was part of some gang initiation.

I was supposed to sleep there with my friend. I still somtimes think about it and get the shivers.

EDIT: spelling.

This happened in 1999 in stubenville ohio. Someone posted a link to the wiki page in the comments.

Thank you to all the people who commented. I posted this before work and then my phone went crazy for the next few hrs.

#2. My mom got mad at me.

Well. My mom got mad at me when I was 20 and I didn’t give her money for her birthday, which I’m assuming was to pay off drug dealers of hers, so she stabbed me between the ribs. Ended up getting stuck in the bone and had to get it taken out in surgery.

#1. I was that close.

I was doing volunteer work in Central America, working in a really bad area of the capitol city–it was a slum built on top of the city’s garbage dump. The whole place reeked of trash, and there were large metal cylinders coming up out of the ground throughout the area to vent the gas from decomposing garbage underground.

As a fellow volunteer and I walked down a dirt path, two men approached us. I’d never seen them before. They were acting strangely, but I just thought they were drunk or high–a lot of people in the area drank rubbing alcohol to get drunk, since it was cheaper than beer or liquor. Over time, drinking the rubbing alcohol would really mess with their brains.

As the men got closer, they began acting really friendly–too friendly. One of them came close to me, trying to put his arm around my shoulders. At first, it seemed like the behavior of a guy who gets happy and friendly when he’s drunk. However, an alarm went off in my head, and I gently–but firmly–pushed him away. I tried to make it seem lighthearted and playful, like, “Hey, man! How’s it going?” (Affectionate shove.) I didn’t want to make a scene, since I was a gringo; I didn’t want to seem like an ugly American.

This went on over and over down the whole path–he’d get close, I’d shove him off, he’d come close again. Finally, my friend and I came to a fork in the path, and we went one way while they went another.

After we got to the house of some people we knew, we told them about the two guys. (I was so focused on protecting myself, I didn’t even notice much of what was happening with the other guy.) They said, “Oh, everyone around here knows him. That’s his routine–he comes up to people, pretends to be friendly, puts him arm around them, then pulls out his knife and stabs them in the stomach.”

I was that close to getting stabbed to death.

Yikes! Dumb luck is really the best thing to hope for sometimes.

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