A Man Live-Tweeted His Apartment Getting Taken over by His Neighbor’s Pets

Imagine this: you hear a knock on your door, and then you open it up to find an adorable trio of animals just staring up at you.

Twitter user JuanPa didn’t have to imagine, because it literally happened to him.

Yep, that’s right.

Cats’ll do that.

This is just nuts.

Uh-oh…

Those are some clever dogs.

What do you even do in a situation like that?

Seriously, these dogs are VERY smart.

Maybe he’ll have better luck with the cat?

Nope.

Finally, the animals are subdued…

… Or not.

The plot thickens.

Sweet relief!

Thank the stars.

I get by with a little help from my friends.

Hurray!

If only it were that easy.

What a mess.

This is too much, y’all.

Thankfully, all things must end eventually.

What a ride!

Wow! I’m tired just reading about the day he had.

The post A Man Live-Tweeted His Apartment Getting Taken over by His Neighbor’s Pets appeared first on UberFacts.

Psych Ward Nurses Share the Moments That Totally Shocked Them

Working with the mentally ill or criminally insane is definitely one that only a few among us are well-suited to tackle. What a tough gig.

It’s always interesting to peek behind the curtain, and these 15 psych ward nurses are here with some truly jaw-dropping tales.

15. Naked as a jaybird

Years ago, I was a student nurse doing my psych rotation in a catholic facility. The nuns still wore habits and the building was like something out of the dark ages. I’ll skip talking about the line of patients waiting to undergo ECT treatment in the basement and instead tell you about Maggie. She was a tragic case. She had been on Lithium for years and it really kept her psychotic episodes in check until reached toxic levels and could no longer take it.

One hot summer afternoon, we heard this banshee screaming coming from Maggie’s room. We rushed in there to see what was going on. Entering the room, we are greeted by a scene I will never forget. This late seventies woman is standing on the window ledge, naked as a jay bird, screaming through the window screens at the nuns in the courtyard, “you fucking penguins are going to burn in hell”. The poor sisters are scrambling to and fro trying to get away from the ranting madwoman’s viscous verbal assault as we were trying desperately to pull her off the grating.

I knew then and there, that I would never become a psych nurse.

14. Those were the days

Prison guard here: guy cut his scrotum open to let people know he was serious (dont know about what)

Guy 2 : cut off a butt cheek (or a big part of) and threw it at me as i tried to stop him.

Guy 3: punched a wall 3 times really hard (bloody knuckles) and told me he punched the devil cos he was telling him to stab me but im cool so he told the devil to fuck off.

Guy 4: pretended to drown himself in a toilet ( basically splashed pee on his face and rolled around crying

Guy 5: had sex with a window air vent and was complient yet confused when i asked him to stop

Those were the days….

13. He played the piano like a pro

Had a catatonic guy who could play the piano like a pro, classic, jazz, ragtime, but otherwise just sat in his chair and stared.

12. She wanted to be a vampire

Not me, but someone I knew was in a ward with a girl who wanted to be a vampire and drank blood from her own tampons.

It’s as atrocious as it sounds. She was around 16 and schizophrenic.

11. That’s MY tooth!

I’m an RN in boston in a psych hospital and I’ve seen some shit.

One of the things I’ll never ever forget was we had this manic guy that had been transferred from another unit cause he kept getting in fights over there and all the other patients were trying to attack him. I was still working nights back then and at about 3am he came up to me and said his tooth hurt and he needed to see a dentist right away. I said I don’t have a dentist for him to see but when the doctor comes in the morning we can take a look.

Gave him some Tylenol and sent him back to bed.

About 5 minutes later he came out saying it really hurt and he needed to see a dentist to pull his tooth. Again I told him theres no dentist but maybe I can get some more pain meds. In the middle of me explaining this to him he sticks his hand in his mouth and rips his molar out of his head and handed it to me. Blood starts pouring out of his mouth but he did even to seem to notice. After I clean him up and get the bleeding to stop and call the doctor to get him some ativan he goes “make sure you give me that tooth back when I leave, that’s MY tooth don’t try and steal it”. Fucking wild shit.

10. He was given a whole tub

This was actually in a state hospital that is part of the prison system for mentally ill offenders.

Patient asked for Vaseline. Which is fine. They can have Vaseline, whatever.

But this patient was given a whole tub, so of course he stripped completely naked, covered himself in Vaseline, and ran. It was a secure unit, and he didn’t escape, but we couldn’t get him back into his cell all shift because he was too fucking slippery.

No more tubs.

9. I never corrected her

I was a CNA for about 4 years and the saddest ever was my client/resident constantly thought I was her daughter. She went to Harvard and was an extremely brilliant lady in her time. She was non verbal but every time I walked into her room she would exclaim “Elizabeth you came”. I loved this lady so much, she would only eat when I fed her she was extremely combative with everyone but me. I ended up quitting my job there but visited her every single day. To the point that her family kind of accepted me as their family. I finally found out that Elizabeth took her own life at 21 and the fact that she thought I was her gave her extreme joy. I never corrected her and I like to think I gave her peace when she passed holding my hand. She was an amazing lady and I miss her to this day.

8. All of our mouths were wide open

We had an older black lady who would walk up and down the ward constantly mumbling. It never stopped. I think she would get something like Thorazine to calm her down but she would fight it and her eyes would be all droopy and she’d slow down but she kept going. Nobody understood a word she said and she was there for at least over 6 months. She was punched out once by a patient while he was on the phone because she kept walking by ranting. He just lost it.

Anyway I’m up there doing a patrol one day (I was security) and shes ranting and walking up and down the ward as usual and they call her to come get her meal. She sits down and opens her tray and stops ranting and states clear as day: “I didn’t order no diabetic tray BITCH.”

Every last person turned to her and all of our mouths were wide open. That was the only thing she ever said clearly.

7. Sure as shit

We had a psych patient on our floor that wasn’t really “crazy” crazy, just really confused and unpleasant in general.

One night I was mixing his drink with some thickener, and per usual he started yelling about me poisoning him. I explained what it was and that we’re all here to help him, not hurt him, and he responds with, “I’m just going to die.” His vitals were fine, he was alert, no red flags, and like I said, he was always pretty unpleasant so I didn’t think much of it.

Sure as shit, he coded an hour later and we never got him back.

Edit: coded is slang for “code blue” which is what they call over intercom/pagers when someone’s stopped breathing, or their heart has stopped.

6. Looking for booze

Obligatory not me, but my former best friend told me the story.

She wasn’t a nurse but did an internship at a psych ward for adults and part of her internship was supervising the adults outside in the garden, making sure they didn’t harm themselves, others and/or run away and to talk to them.

She and about 5 patients were outside on a beautiful summer day, each relaxing and smoking in silence, basically just chilling like fully functioning adults. Until one woman, about early 70s (no alzheimers or something) took her chair, pulled it right next to my friend, stepped on it, clumsily climbed the stone wall surrounding the small outside area, yelled “Bye, bitches!” and ran away.

My friend and the others just sat there, staring after her, not being able to believe what they’d just seen.

She was found 15 minutes later, just wandering through the city looking for booze.

I just can’t not laugh at the thought of this granny climbing the wall and yelling “Bye, bitches” while fastly waddling away

5. Problem solved!

This might not fit perfect, but I love this story.

How about in an inpatient addiction clinic? The first one that comes to mind was something I witnessed between a patient and another floor tech. We had a man who was in serious detox, drug if choice was meth. He was throwing a huge tantrum, not uncommon in DTs, people will do just about anything to get a fix. We weren’t a locked facility, so it wasn’t like he was stuck there. He genuinely wanted help, that’s why he stuck around, and we were there to listen and help him through the shakes, hallucinations, and other symptoms.

He was slamming his fists on the desk at this point, and he had started just yelling “I just want some fucking ice!” (Slang for crystal meth) Well, the tech with me was inexperienced, although much older than me, and while I talked to him and tried to calm him down, she went back to our staff kitchen and got him a glass of ice. Like, frozen water. She brought it out to him and put it in his hand like, Problem Solved!, and the guys just froze with confusion, staring at it. The patient and I both realized at the same time she thought he wanted ice and we just started at eachother and started laughing. He was in for a rough couple of days, but I’ve never seen someone jump from near psychotic episode to giggling so fast.

4. I couldn’t have seen what I saw

When I was in nursing school I had a clinical in the state funded psyc ward downtown. I was assigned to sit with this one girl to “monitor” her behavior. She spent about thirty minutes doing nothing but eating pudding cups with a plastic spoon. She ate like 6 of them in half an hour. Then out of nowhere she very calmly licked her spoon completely clean and pulled her shirt sleeve up before shoving the entire spoon into an incision in her arm near her bicep… then very calmly said, “Ohps.”

The nurses that worked there didn’t believe me. They kept saying I was making it up and that I couldn’t have seen what I saw.

Only later on, like four hours later (it was a 12 hr clinical), the orderly notice the girl had some blood on her shirt. He took her into her room to change her clothes and noticed that an incision on her arm had dehisced and had been bleeding.

Then eventually agreed to send her to the hospital for testing.

The X-ray showed the entire spoon, sucked into the fat of her upper arm, through an incision where they’d removed a birth control implant in the week before…

Apparently the girl had slowly been picking at the sutures and opening it bit by bit until it was deep enough to fit an entire plastic spoon….

The girl admitted that the “ohps” was because it had gotten sucked in and couldn’t be pulled out, not because she’s stuck a spoon in her arm….

Totally bizarre.

3. I had to gather my thoughts

Psych ward counselor here. Early in my career I had a teenage girl with suicidal ideations and severe depression. The year before, on thanksgiving, her dad pulled a gun from under the dinner table and blew his brains out in front of everyone. I normally form a response pretty quickly, even a “wow,” but when she told me I got quiet, leaned back, exhaled, and had to gather my thoughts.

2. Straight out of the movies

I’m not a nurse but was a patient once. Giant dude got upset one dude changed the channel from a football game he was watching and smashed his skull with his fists. Not fully, but enough that when they brought him back a few days later he started seizing and had to be removed again. Didn’t see him again.

Also, there was one lady who was straight out of the movies. Walking around preaching the end of days loudly and sweating like crazy.

1. Two of her own fingers

Not a nurse, pharmacist.

Had one of our Clozapine patients miss a monthly meeting to discuss their medication. Called around, found out she was in the ICU having eaten two of her own fingers then visited her mother for coffee, still bleeding.

Had a friend tell me of another patient, made a cut in his thigh and reopened it regularly until the whole thing was a scar tissue cavern, by some miracle avoiding infection. Started using his “meat pocket” to hold pens and coins and anything he could collect in his ward. Nobody knew until a paperclip pierced the side and he finally wound up with an infection that took him to ICU where they found his stash.

Yep, I’ll stick with sitting on my butt with a computer!

The post Psych Ward Nurses Share the Moments That Totally Shocked Them appeared first on UberFacts.

These Twitter Posts Were the Reason We Smiled Today

Some days, the only thing that can put a smile on my face is hilarious people on Twitter.

So please keep tweeting y’all! Because you sure are funny!

1. Hey, I’d buy it!

2. From now on… avocadoes will be known as this. So says me.

3. Well, that’s one to do it…

4. I want to party with this girl. Eventually.

5. I see you!

6. Rough day.

7. It had to happen eventually…

8. She earned it!

9. I think you just did it…

10. Honesty is the best policy!

11. WHAT IS THAT?!?

Alright, if you didn’t laugh, I’ve got nothing more for you.

Go try Buzzfeed or something.

The post These Twitter Posts Were the Reason We Smiled Today appeared first on UberFacts.

Guy Documents Weird AF First Week of Work at Target. Spoiler: People Are Strange

When you start a new job, a million things go through your mind.

Will I fit in?
Will my co-workers like me?
Am I as stupid as my mother says?

Okay, well, maybe some of us have different thoughts than others, but when Tumblr user kimpossibooty was hired as a cashier at Target, he did what every good millenial should: document his days there to share with all his internet friends later.

All jobs have their quirks, but apparently this particular national superstore really brings the weirdos out en masse. Prepare to be spirited away to a land of misfits, freaks, and mutants.

And next time you’re at your local Target, take a closer look at your fellow shoppers…

Day One:

  • Sold lingerie to an eighty year old woman
  • Got a free salted caramel frappacino from the suspected gay barista, Parker
  • Sold a bra to the mom of a sixteen year old girl who was cringing the entire time
  • Had a very engaging conversation with a three year old boy about colors. We both like blue.
  • Served an old woman who I thought had an impressive mustache, but it was just nose hair
  • Watched her and two other women with her get trapped between two sets of automatic doors because they did not understand how to open them. How they got through the first set, I still do not know.
  • Sold fifteen gallons of kitty litter to a soccer mom who refused to break eye contact
  • Got a second free Starbucks drink. This one was a pumpkin pie one that wasn’t even on the menu. I like this barista man.
  • Gave dozens of children stickers. Several of them squealed when they got them. This is the best part of my job.
  • Sold an old man $200 of furniture and got him to sign up for a Target credit card. Before he finished the last step, he turned and walked away with his cart without a word.
  • He still hadn’t paid. I called him back and he apologized, saying “sorry, sometimes my diabetes makes me do that.” He didn’t finish getting the card.
  • A woman came up with $220 of items. After a wad of coupons and a stack of free gift cards from other promotions, her total went down to $55. I want her to teach me.
  • Saw a girl skipping down the aisle in what can only be described as a pink princess fairy wedding dress. She was filled with happiness and if I hadn’t been on the clock I would have taken her. At the very least, I want that outfit for my own.
  • Got approached by a large man named Jason. He told me not to steal. I will take this advice to heart.
  • Met a woman referred to only as The Cat Lady. She asked if I wanted her to buy me a keychain from Ross. I told her I had no keys. She nodded solemnly and walked away, whispering their exact location inside Ross, just in case.
  • Got called into the HR Head’s office at the end of my shift. I was expecting to be yelled at for some reason. She and another lead showered me in compliments for ten minutes straight, saying a lot of managers had been saying great things about me all day. Not what I expected, but I’ll take it.

Day Two:

  • Intimidating farmer man in overalls and pigtails came through my checkout. He bought a bucket. He spoke no words. He made no eye contact. He left me with questions.
  • Three college boys came through, each buying spandex and makeup wipes. They spoke no words. They made too much eye contact. They left me with more questions. I question when this job will provide answers.
  • A three year old came through, pushed by his personal chauffeur. He bought one small Spider-Man onesie. He carried out the entire transaction on his own. He was the most polite customer I have had so far.
  • Three people walked away without their change. Only two returned.
  • A man bought thirty light bulbs with a coupon. He told me he did not need thirty light bulbs. He just likes coupons.
  • He then walked to customer service, claiming to have returned several things he did not mean to. He then walked a lap around the store and left. He did not leave the store with his light bulbs. They were nowhere to be found.
  • A customer came through looking nervous. She leaned over the counter. She whispered to me. Someone had pooped in the baby supplies aisle. All evidence pointed to it not being a baby.

Day Three:

  • Two children came through the line. They were chanting to their mom through heavy streams of tears. “WE WANT STICKERS MOMMY.” There were no stickers at any of the registers. They continued crying. I failed my people.
  • An old woman bought five bottles of wine and a large bottle of vodka. Her license told me she had lived through World War II. Her smile told me she was still living.
  • I sorted through the candy in the checkout lanes. I was meant to set aside candy that had expired in the last month. A box of Kit Kats was found that had expired in February of 2015. One was missing. I hope the poor sap is okay.
  • Clearance school supplies have arrived. A man bought 71 spiral notebooks for $6. A woman bought 110 folders for $4. I hope they meet each other. I would like to see the child of two math problem characters.
  • A bearded man named Rusty came through. I sold him a bottle of Crystal Light powder and a gallon of water. The powder was empty. The water jug had an inch of pink water left in it. How long has he been inside the store already. His beard intimidated me too much to ask.
  • An elderly man in a fedora pushed two full carts into my lane. They were both filled to the brim. He bought 52 12-packs of Mountain Dew. 12 were diet. He repeatedly told me he was 80 years old. As I handed him his receipt, he leaned in and whispered, “I’m going to get DRUNK.” He pointed at his carts, smiled at me, and scurried away with his definitively alcoholic purchase. I wonder if he knows. I wonder if he cares.

Day Four:

  • The store is having a 10% off your entire purchase sale. I have a coupon to scan if anyone asks for it. I scan it if people don’t ask for it if they’re nice to me. I don’t scan it if they’re rude. Power is a new sensation. Power is a good sensation.
  • Because of the sale, we have been flooded with guests itching for a bargain. When I need to go on my break, the manager has to stand in front of the line and tell people to go somewhere else. As the line died down, I prepared to leave. A new wave of people approached. She whispered to me “run as soon as you can.” I did not see her after my break.
  • An old man comes through the line and loudly announces that “this is a cash thing. No cards!” His clarity is appreciated, but also questioned.
  • A young man follows him. He jokes, “this is a card thing. No cash!” His smile shows he was a kind man. His joke shows he was a dad.
  • A confused teenager follows after. He whispers, “……….cash”. He thinks he has to announce his payment type. I do not correct him.
  • Children continue to handle their own transactions. This makes my day good. One girl had her own wallet and told me “thank you for your help, sir”. This makes my day great.
  • Five hours into my shift, I discover small figurines of Bambi and Pluto behind my register screen. Knowing that I am experiencing the happiest place on earth for a bargain price is nice.
  • A customer purchased hard salami. The store sells a product called hard salami. How anyone can work or shop here with a straight face remains beyond me.
  • A small girl waits in the cart as her mother pays for her transaction. She decides she had enough. She shouts, “Let me out of here!” She attempts to leave the cart. She realizes the walls are too tall. She sits down and accepts her fate with a shocking level of grace.
  • A grown man sees a coloring book on a shelf. He calls after his wife, who has already walked away. “There’s a coloring book here. This is just pitiful.” No one has any response for this.
  • I met a man who looked like Harry Potter if, instead of getting out of the cupboard at age eleven, he stayed in there for fifteen more years with nothing but Red Bull and My Chemical Romance albums.
  • A woman gets 69 cents back in change. I know that I will likely get reprimanded if I make a 69 joke to a customer. I do not speak to the customer any further. I am trying to decide if it is worth losing my job or not.
  • A little girl in basketball shorts kicks the candy rack multiple times. I expect her to turn around and show that she is throwing a fit. Instead, she seems calm and please. She is having the time of her life. I look forward to seeing where life takes her.
  • A child in my lane gets a toy. A child in the next lane yells at him for having a toy when he does not. Toy-having child prepares to throw the toy at toy-lacking child. Parents pick up their respective children. Thus ends the Baby Feud of 2016.

Day Five:

  • I open my register. An octogenarian woman approaches. She purchases bras and lingerie. I cry on the inside. It is too early for these images.
  • A small girl helped me put her parents bags into their cart. Every time I hand her a bag, she digs through it, announcing which things are hers and which are her parents, and putting her parents’ items in the cart without the bag. They did not earn the bag and she treats them accordingly.
  • A group of old people came on a field trip to Target and spent ten minutes discussing the new Jungle Book movie before buying a copy. Their reviews were overwhelmingly positive and gleeful.
  • The DVD ran $18.94. The group banded together, pulling out every coin they could find to ensure they gave me exact change. They must have had ten dollars in coins between them. The strength of their teamwork inspired me. The depth of their pockets confounded me.
  • A fly flew directly into my nostril before bouncing around and making a swift exit. I was more impressed by its aim than bothered by its decisions.
  • A woman seemingly stepped out of the 19th century prairie to purchase a frappucino. I think her dress was handmade. Her head scarf still had a price tag.
  • An old couple came through my lane to purchase gardening tools. Anytime one of them turned their back to the other, they would be tickled without warning or mercy. I believe I have just had a glimpse into my future.
  • A very angry old man pulled two full carts through. He purchased a Twix bar, a bottle of Diet Pepsi, 36 pairs of underwear, and 262 adult diapers. I believe I have just had another glimpse into my future.

Day Six:

  • I witnessed the man who talked to me about stealing following suspicious individuals through the store. He was like a private eye shark on a mission. The determination and simultaneous stealth and intimidation he possessed solidified him as my hero.
  • The computer made me card a man for buying Elmer’s glue. I questioned the computer. It gave no answers.
  • A soccer mom walked up to me, frappuccino in hand. She bought a large box of condoms, asked to have them outside of a bag, and then ran out of the store with them.
  • My stash of stickers has been restocked. I can once again please the masses.
  • My manager brought me a concoction he made behind the Starbucks counter. He told me it was meant to taste like a red Starburst. It tasted nothing like a red Starburst. It tasted exactly like a pink Starburst.
  • He also made me a Cookie Monster frap. It was a liquid Oreo. If anyone has contacts at Food Network, please reach out to him for a show.
  • A mother purchased her four year old daughter a Minnie Mouse stuffed animal. She asked the daughter if she wanted to hold it. The child whispered, “No. She is evil.” What does she know that I do not.
  • Another old man purchased twelve boxes of Mello Yello and eight boxes of Sprite. He saved almost as much as he spent. The old man bulk soda purchasing trend continues. I look forward to participating one in my later years.
  • Three team leaders tried to get a refrigerator through a door in a small hallway. The refrigerator was both taller and wider than the door. It took them 45 minutes, but once they succeeded, I was filled with pride.

Day Seven:

  • The Cat Lady returned. She purchased eight cans of cat food and a bag of chips. I asked how she was doing. She replied, “I don’t know, I just got here, this is all I want.” She appeared as confused as I was.
  • A small child was with his mother. From the moment they entered the store to the moment they left, he was shouting, “MOMMY THAT’S OKAY. MOMMY THAT’S OKAY. MOMMY THAT’S OKAY.” His words echoed around the store for the entirety of their visit. His message remains unclear.
  • A woman asked for a refund on a pair of sneakers for her infant. Mother returned, baby shoes, never worn.
  • An old man was dressed in a hat that read “SANTA CLAUS” with a Santa Claus shirt. I want to know his motives. It is only September 2, but I appreciate his enthusiasm.
  • Cat Lady came back. She purchased another case of cat food at the register next to mine. She then loudly announced that she wanted Chinese food. I am beginning to understand her.
  • I spent my break on the phone outside of the store. While on the phone, I was looking at my iPod. While on the phone looking at my iPod, a Best Buy employee walked by, and serenaded me with a song about me. The only lyric I heard was “I got two phones because I got two hands.” I appreciate his art.
  • A second grader sat in the back of his mothers cart. As they approached my lane, I heard him shout “Stupid snacks! I don’t want snacks! I want to go home! Snacks are stupid!” I haven’t disagreed with a person so thoroughly since I last heard Trump speak.
  • His mother pushed the cart behind her in the hopes of hiding her embarrassment. I asked her how she was doing. She said “Good”. Her son yelled “No good”. I asked if she found everything alright. She said “Yes”. Her son yelled “No we did not”. I appreciate his honesty, but after his opinion on snacks, I decided to pay him no heed.

Sounds like a great time…remind me not to apply to Target next time I get fired.

The post Guy Documents Weird AF First Week of Work at Target. Spoiler: People Are Strange appeared first on UberFacts.

15 High School Teachers Share the Dark Secrets They Keep from Students

Teachers have a rough job. And they also have to keep a lot of the BS to themselves because they can’t exactly come right out and tell their students how much they can’t stand them, right?

That’s why this article is so good.

These teachers got personal on AskReddit and admitted the dark secrets about their jobs.

1. No surprise there

“Your parents are literally the worst part of my job.”

2. Drama, please

“Yes, I put you in a group with the kid you have a crush on intentionally. I’m stuck here with you 180 days a year — I want to see some drama.”

3. Nice try

“The weed smell doesn’t magically disappear between the parking lot and my classroom.”

4. C’mon, parents

“If your parents email a teacher and argue with them, the whole staff knows.”

5. They hear all

“We have much better hearing than you assume. We just choose our battles as it pertains to inappropriate comments.”

6. Don’t stand out

“If I know your name by the third day of a new school year, that means you’re probably an asshole.”

7. Truth bomb

“My students are the reason why I am second-guessing having my own kids.”

8. Joke’s on you

“When you think you are being genius by getting me to talk about random things at the beginning of class instead of ‘teaching.’ I’m really allowing it to happen because I don’t have enough planned to cover a full class.”

9. You stink

“I can smell you. Everyone can. Please, for the love of god, use deodorant.”

10. No one likes that

“I am no longer a teacher, but I remember several days that I felt lazy and wanted to give the class the day off. I never did because I knew the teacher’s pet would rat me out. Sometimes even the teachers don’t like the teacher’s pet.”

11. Scandalous

“A lot of us drink, smoke, and sleep around more than you do, and hearing you try to hide it as if it’s something we wouldn’t know about is richly ironic.”

12. Show some respect

“I’d let you get away with so much more if you were actually a decent person who treated others with kindness and respect. Assholes rarely get the benefit of doubt or indifference.”

13. Look busy

“One of the most valuable lessons I can teach you is to fake looking busy. If we’re supposed to be working on an assignment or reading or whatever, and you see me coming your way…at the least have a piece of paper on your desk and a pen in your hand and some shit on your paper, and then I won’t bother you.”

14. One day

“One day you’re going to come across people who are not being paid to tolerate you, and all of a sudden life is going to become considerably more difficult.”

15. Chill out

“I wish I could let my students know how dumb they look sometimes. And how they need to relax and stop taking themselves so seriously.”

The post 15 High School Teachers Share the Dark Secrets They Keep from Students appeared first on UberFacts.

15 People Reveal When They Had Weird Feelings About a Situation and They Were Exactly Right

Has your gut ever given you a dire warning that a situation just wasn’t right?

These people certainly have, and their intuitions turned out to be right.

Read on as their share 15 stories of times when their gut was totally spot on at detecting a creepy situation.

1. Thank goodness they didn’t let her go

“A tennis coach at my kid’s club called to ask me if he could take my 10-year-old daughter with the other five players on road trips to play other clubs. I didn’t like it, she was tiny and just 10 years old. He wasn’t even her coach but another coach at the club. We thought he was creepy and to call like that…so I said no.

The coach ended up going to prison for being a creep and violating several girls older than my kid. His son was also 10, and the poor kid was also a victim of the scum bag. He got 15 years in 2009, and will probably be out soon.

He was convicted of three crimes, but the prosecution dropped an additional 22.

It still blows my mind.”

2. Something was off

“My sister was going to visit her friend out of state, so her friend’s friend offered to drive her there. He drove a few hours to get to our house and was noticeably tired when he arrived, so my sister suggested that he just sleep on our couch and they’ll go in the morning.

The entire night, my mom was going in and out of our rooms saying that there was something off about the guy; that she didn’t really like him but couldn’t figure out why. She actually quietly went out the side door and wrote down his license plate at one point.

The next morning, my sister was in the guy’s car for maybe 30 minutes before she felt sick and asked him to just take her home. Which he does, much to my mother’s delight.

>About six months later, my mom was looking at her news feed when she saw a familiar face and called my sister and me over and yelled, ‘I told you something was off about him!’ It turns out that about a year earlier, he murdered his ex-girlfriend and that his friend, who helped him bury her body, finally decided to tell the cops not because he developed a conscience, but because he was mad at him for stealing his toaster.”

3. The new guy

“In college, I worked at a bar and they brought in this new bouncer. From the second I met him, I immediately felt like there was something seriously wrong with him. His smile and eye contact were too intense. I told a coworker that the guy gave me the creeps and she told me she thought he was ‘cute and nice,’ and didn’t get where I was coming from.

A quick Google search pulled up his mug shot and articles about how he was watching his college roommate’s dog one weekend and horribly attacked and abused it.

He burned this poor dog and poured bleach on her. The dog survived and he was arrested. The article talked about how he was laughing at the police arresting him, saying he knew he wouldn’t get in any trouble.

He was fired and told to never come back once management found out.”

4. In on it?

“My mother, who was extremely emotionally and physically abusive, raised four kids by herself. Although she had many siblings and lots of other relatives, no one helped us.

When I was around 12, my mom had a female cousin who started coming around, out of the blue, trying to get my mom to attend church with her. Then, all of a sudden, this same cousin wanted to become my kid sister’s godparent. Okay, whatever.

But I certainly resented the fact that we were all of a sudden being forced to go to church almost every Sunday. I saw it as nothing more than a form of brainwashing.

I always had a sick feeling about her, especially when I had to sit near her in a room. A couple of years later, she started insisting I come along on weekend getaways she would have with my sister at her house. I had absolutely no interest in going.

Not only was I older, but I was thinking, ‘Why do I have to come? She’s not my godmother.’ But, my mom was so weak-minded, psychotic, or just plain evil that she always forced me to go.

When I was around 14 years old, I was still being forced by my own mother to go somewhere that wasn’t necessary, with someone who made me physically sick. I still hadn’t figured out exactly what it was about her that made me so sick.

She was a nurse and had access to certain medications. It turns out that she was medicating me with sedatives when I was at her house, then violating me with her fingers and who knows what else. It really started to bother me how sore and painful I was down below, knowing that I was still pure, or so I thought, and I NEVER felt like that until after I had left her house.

I don’t think she did this to my sister because she was always so fixated on me.

She just used my sister to get to me. It also turns out that pills lose their full effect on you after you’ve been taking them for a while. That is how I found out. I eventually woke up in the middle of being assaulted by her.”

5. Across the street

“I got a bad vibe from the dad across the street when I was a kid. He was a military guy who always seemed to be on a power trip. His oldest son and I went to the same school, and would occasionally carpool.

One day, it was his dad’s turn to drive us. His son stayed home sick, but he offered to drive me all the same.

Thankfully, it wasn’t a long ride, but the entire time he talked about his beat-up Camero. It definitely creeped me out.

A couple of years later, his wife threw him out one morning. It turns out he had been beating the crap out of her for a while. One morning, while hitting her again, he stepped on their 1-year-old baby who was crawling on the floor and broke the kid’s arm.

We never saw him again after that.”

6. Just a phase

“A neighborhood kid I grew up with liked to play with matches and was fascinated with fires of any kind. It made me nervous because a sort of ‘wild look’ came over his eyes when he’d stare at the fire he created.

I even told my parents, who mentioned it to his parents, who thought it was ‘just a phase’ he was going through.

Then, a few years later, it was reported that he burned his parents’ garage down and was being charged with arson and clinically treated for pyromania.”

7. New to the area

“I met a random guy when I was out one night. He was new to the area and was friends with my friend’s brother. He came across as nice and friendly, but then he started being a bit strange, like he kept rubbing my back and touching my legs.

We all went back to my friend’s house, and I was pretty wasted, but this guy kept trying to get me to leave with him without anyone seeing.

I told everyone something was weird about him. It turned out he had been charged with violating a 10-year-old, and that’s why he had left his previous city. He also assaulted a 13-year-old a few weeks before he met me, and the police found he was in possession of a lot of child smut.

My friends had no idea about this guy’s past.

He lived near my friend’s brother, and he had him over at his house in the summer when his kids were running around in swimming suits prior to the discovery. He was devastated and full of guilt when he found out.”

8. Controlling

“My mom and I were in a café and she had her handbag down by her feet. This couple comes in and sits at the table behind us, and he attracted my attention because he kept poking his girlfriend and telling her how to sit and stuff.

The hairs on my neck went up, I hate that controlling type of behavior. He was in my periphery and this guy wouldn’t sit still when my mom asked: ‘Hey, where’s my bag?’

She found it a second later, moved and open – she reached in to get her purse and said: ‘My card is missing!’

So the couple behind had stood and were quickly walking towards the door, and I didn’t even hesitate to say: ‘STOP THAT MAN!’ because I figured I could apologize later if I was wrong. One of the waitresses was right by the door and she followed him out the door, at which point, the guy dropped my mom’s card, mumbled something about having found it, and then ran for it.

I guess if he hadn’t been such a jerk to his girlfriend, I probably wouldn’t have noticed.”

9. A sixth sense

“My parents tell me that when I was around 4 years old, I was the most extroverted kid. I LOVED going out and about with my parents so I could wave hello to every single person I saw. I never met a stranger.

Little old ladies LOVED me. I would let anyone hold me if they wanted. To the point that my parents were alarmed at how I didn’t mind people I had never met before holding me and bouncing me on their lap.

We had some elderly neighbors who were nice as could be.

One day, their 30-something son came to live with them. The old couple had told my parents about him moving in and how excited they were. Well, they came to our house to introduce him to us since we were in the driveway.

Apparently, I got really quiet when they were walking toward me and when the guy spoke to me, I screamed and hid behind my dad’s legs. My parents thought it was out of character so they actively avoided allowing me to be near him in the weeks that followed.

A few months later, he was arrested for child trafficking and possession of hundreds of pictures and videos of child smut.”

10. Watch out

“I worked for a call center a few years ago and there was a guy that sat at the desk across from me. He was about 50 years old and was not married. I’m young enough to be his daughter.

He would do anything to talk to me.

Come by my desk, run into me in the break room, get in the elevator with me, and what not. It was excessive, but never threatening. At least not at first.

He started to say inappropriate things about my outfits, but I figured he was an awkward dude that did not know how to flirt.

I just brushed him off time and time again, but something was definitely off about him.

At one point, the secretary came up to me and asked if he was bothering me, and I told her what had been happening.

He only did this with the blonde women at the office. He was notorious for harassing them. It started small, but then he would slowly transition into asking them to hook up, even offering to pay for it.

Knowing this, I avoided him altogether. I would pretend he was not there, even if he was talking to me directly. I would catch him staring at me, but he backed down a lot after he realized that I wouldn’t give in.

One day, I came into work and he was gone.

His desk was cleared off. Totally empty. He apparently had sent another blonde woman a bunch of flowers and followed her out to the parking lot when she got off work. He had parked his car right next to hers and tried to force her into his car to go home with him, but she got away.

He was fired and escorted off the property THE NEXT DAY by police.

I’m not sure why he decided to come back, or why he wasn’t arrested sooner, but he was caught at work and removed.”

11. Knives

“When I used to work at a deli, we hired a 20-something kid that looked like the serial killer, Ed Kemper sans the mustache.

At first, he would amuse us by telling us stories about how he had fought off eight guys carrying weapons, or how his girlfriend was a model who traveled all the time (and that is why we never saw her).

Then things started getting bad, especially when someone angered him. I would catch him talking to himself, saying things like, ‘If I see her again, I am going to stick this in both her eyes.’

Management caught wind of this and canned him almost immediately.

Ten months later, we found out he actually went to prison for attempting to assault someone with a knife.”

12. The stepdad

“I always had a weird feeling about my stepdad.

He always made me uncomfortable and I always felt like he was watching me. He would make comments about my body and wardrobe, causing me to feel insecure and watch what I wore around him.

When I told my mom, she would say things like ‘he’s old-fashioned’ or ‘he’s just looking out for you.’

My mom had gone out of the country to visit family leaving my stepdad, myself and my older brother to take care of the house.

One night, my brother went to a party and I stayed home because I worked early the next morning, but left my bedroom door open so I could hear my brother come home and make sure he made it safe. Instead, my stepdad decided to crawl into my bed and try to assault me.

It was one of the scariest moments of my life.

I pushed him off and ran to the bathroom. I was so freaked out I just grabbed my work clothes and went to my car and drove off to a random neighborhood and slept in my car.

My mom found out a year later because I told my older brother, but she’s never talked to me about it.

She’s still with him too. As for me, I am in therapy to deal with my trauma and I feel like I’m getting better.

When I told my brother, we gathered all the money we had been saving up and moved out a month later.

I am blessed to have a brother who loves me and took me out of a bad place. He’s been one of my support systems through all of this.”

13. Jokes

“I used to work at a local restaurant when I was 19 years old. I loved working there, but I ended up quitting because of some jerk that was hired. He was in his mid-30s and gave every girl in the restaurant the absolute creepiest vibes.

He was constantly saying inappropriate stuff about his past and was just a jerk to people in general.

I hated working with him because he creeped me out and was also just mean. I started trading shifts to get away from him.

One day, a night shift manager was fired, and our boss put the creepy guy in a temporary managerial position. I immediately went to our boss and told him I was uncomfortable with the idea and explained how creepy he was.

My boss leveled with me and said that the guy had no actual manager power and was just temporary until he found someone else. He was just there to run shifts. My boss arranged it so my schedule never crossed over with the creep.

One day, a coworker of mine got sick and I was asked to cover her shift.

I got there and the creep was managing. I thought I could deal with one night, but a friend of mine called the store sobbing. She had tried to call my cell around a hundred times but it was in my purse.

She was crying hysterically and told me she had been assaulted and didn’t know what to do or where to go but that she was horrified and too scared to leave.

I told my friend I would be right there and told the manager I had an emergency and would be leaving.

It was a slow night and I wasn’t needed anyway but he freaked out and tried to physically stop me, demanding to know my emergency. I tried to sidestep it, but I eventually told him my friend had been assaulted.

He burst out laughing in my face and told me that was hilarious and not an excuse to leave. I told him to get lost and shoved past him. He told me I couldn’t leave and I said watch me. I went outside and burst into tears and called my boss and told him I quit after explaining what happened.

A few months later, I was working at my new job and a former coworker came in and said they had some news for me.

Apparently, two police officers showed up at my old workplace and served papers to the guy. He had been stalking a girl for the last five years and it started when she was 14 years old. He had also assaulted her.”

14. A new priest

“This is creepy in a different way than most, but I think it’s relevant. Twenty years ago, when I was a practicing Christian, my church got a new priest. He may as well have been God himself the way people fawned over him.

I liked him at first, too. Then, after a few brief conversations, I got this feeling that his entire life was a major power trip, and he was in no way cut out to lead a congregation of actual human beings.

After he made an off-the-cuff remark to me about being divorced (the shock!), I was like, ‘Later dude’ and transferred to another church.

People thought I was nuts, because how could I not adore Father Perfect the way they did?

After a few months, I noticed a trickle of people from my former parish in my new church, and that trickle eventually became more like a flood.

‘Father Perfect’ had formerly been a highly respected surgeon with a God complex, and he was quite used to giving orders and having them carried out without question (as I would imagine is necessary for a surgical suite).

Not the best quality for a man of the cloth.

Eventually, he drove out several deacons, the choir leader, the sexton, and about half the congregation. He put a message on the church answering machine about what types of messages could and couldn’t be left.

He was a total control freak who apparently mistook himself for God. He finally left after the parish completely fell apart.”

15. He loved to chat

“There’s an older guy who visits my workplace a lot just to chat with our staff. He never buys anything – he just really loves talking to us. The first time I met him, we wound up chatting for a solid 15 minutes.

It was ALMOST a pleasant experience (I love chatting with friendly customers), but for some reason, he put me on edge. He spent the whole 15 minutes telling me about his life’s adventures – starring in a Smashing Pumpkins tribute band, getting detained at the airport for having a weapon (he said he was in the military and was flying overseas to do some training exercises in America or something and there was a misunderstanding about his paperwork), and he told me about his work as a guidance counselor.

He flowed from one story to the next without any discernible link connecting them but he was charismatic enough to keep the conversation flowing smoothly anyway. I felt lost at sea.

On the surface, he seemed like a well-traveled, genuinely friendly guy.

But he still set off a bunch of alarm bells in my head.

My general rule with chatty people is: ‘Friendly is good unless you are AGGRESSIVELY excited to be talking to me.’ He definitely fell into the aggressive category.

Later I mentioned the guy to a coworker. He said he thought the guy was creepy too.

Apparently, during one of this guy’s visits, he held my coworker hostage and told him (very cheerily) all about the time he got in a bar fight and he murdered a guy with his three buddies.”

The post 15 People Reveal When They Had Weird Feelings About a Situation and They Were Exactly Right appeared first on UberFacts.

15 People Share the Weirdest Date They’ve Ever Been on

Dating is odd. Sometimes you hit the jackpot, but most of the time…well, you know.

AskReddit users were nice enough to share their most cringeworthy date experiences for your reading pleasure. Share yours in the comments!

1. Run!

“Met with a girl in a dark university bar. Everything is going well. We eventually go outside because there is a mechanical bull we are goin to try. As soon as she gets on the bull, I realize she is at least 10 years older than she claimed and has a rotten meth tooth. After asking her a few questions, she admits that she has two kids outside of the state and has no interest in them.

She also admits to having a girlfriend with whom she is not sexual. She is physical with her though. She starts showing me pictures of her girlfriend with bound breasts…like ropes around them bonding them. This girlfriend of hers is white, but her breasts are black from being beaten in while bound. I was young and completely unprepared for this. We ended the night early and I even got the courage to tell her I wasn’t interested instead of ghosting her like I truly wanted to do.”

2. He knew she was a keeper

“Probably the 2nd date with my now wife. Some guy paid me to get revenge on a buddy of his and wanted me to scatter a few hundred pounds of potatoes into his buddies front yard. It was near where I was planning on taking my now wife and she said she would be cool with helping. So we drove to this guys house, made sure he was not home, filled his yard and driveway with potatoes together then went on our date.”

3. Meet my father

“I went on a date with a guy named Dan when I was in my late teens. Dan said “I’d like you to meet my father, he’s going to love you”

So I got in the car and as we started heading out of town I asked where we were going and Dan said “you’ll see, we’re almost there”

15 minutes later we pull I to a cemetery and he says come with me, I was nervous as I followed him down a little hill and he kneeled down in front of a tombstone and said “dad, she’s going to be my wife someday”.

That was the first and last date Dan and I ever had.”

4. Two tales

“I will tell about both worst weird, and best weird because, I can’t really pick one

Worst weird was this guy that was a avid hiker like me, and suggested we do a quite easy, very known and travelled circuit by the coast. The weather was great ( sunny, windy, the very best for a hike) but.. The guy spend the three hours of the circuit reciting BY HEART all the people having committed suicide on the path ( a part of it was near a cliff so people used to go Sprotch when they wanted to cancel their subscription to Life ™ ) and he knew. Just. So. Many. I mean, it was odd at first, creepy soon after and quickly descended into terrifying. Needless to say no second date was had.

Weird cute one was with a guy I dated for some time after: we were just sipping coffee on a bench when his phone went off : his brother’s wife had gone into early labor and said brother was freaking out, and in his soon to be a dad way ahead of plan frenzy, shouted: ” the baby’s room isn’t even painted!”. Cue my date leaping in with a ” I got this, stay with your wife!” , pocketed his phone, turned to me and went ” I have a double of his keys.. wanna help me paint the room ?”
“What, like, now?”

“Yep”

“Ho. ok”

And we spent half a day painting a kid’s room. That was fun, all things considered!”

5. Don’t tell anyone you’re a mechanic

“I have a bad habit of telling people I’m a mechanic too early into knowing them because I really enjoy it and I like talking about it. The last date I had involved about 20 minutes of us actually talking to each other about things like school, what books we’re reading, and video games. When we get to the part about what we do for a living, I tell her I’m a mechanic. She immediately drops all conversation and begs me to go fix her car right then and there.

I’m a little too nice of a person and couldn’t say no at that moment, so we pay for our drinks and leave. As soon as I see her car I know I made a mistake, it’s been recently wrecked and should not have been on the road. She then starts to tell me about how a friend of hers says it only needs a few repairs and it should be good to go, when in reality it probably should have been totaled with how bad the front end was caved in.

I tell her this and she starts yelling at me saying I must not know what I’m doing, then says I need to fix it anyway and that she needs to borrow my car to go run some errands at 10:30 at night. I tell her no, and that I’ll call her a tow truck since I have AAA, and that I don’t think we’re going to work out. It’s been 3 weeks since then and I still get calls from her asking her what’s wrong with her car.”

6. Cat-fished

“I essentially got cat-fished by a coworker. There had been some mutual attraction months before but I decided it wasn’t a good idea and told her we should just be friends. Then she made a fake online dating profile, used her knowledge of my likes/dislikes to attract me to this profile, carried on extensive communication pretending to be someone else, and then showed up to our date expecting me to suddenly fall head over heels in love with her.

She showed up at the date and I asked her what she was doing there, she replied “I think you know why I’m here” and I got in my car and left without saying anything. Eight years later and her cubicle is still 15 feet away from mine.”

7. Sounds a little unhinged

“So many adventures, so I’ll stick with the highlights. Dinner seemed to go all right, except that he drank most of a shared pitcher of margaritas by himself, then drank all the liquor I had at home. I was kind of irked, so we go searching for more.

The first place was closing up (it’s Sunday), so he goes up and bangs on the windows, loudly demanding that they sell us some beer and calling them assholes while I die of embarrassment. At the next place, after they served us, he casually said, “Oh yeah, I don’t have any money, so you’re going to have to get that.” (Not that I expected him to pay for my beer, but he expected me to pay for for his.)

In conversation, he mentioned that his favorite book was Ulysses and compared himself to Jack Kerouac. I asked him what kind of movies he liked, only for him to snottily retort that he watches “films.” He had me read a short story he wrote that, frankly, was pretty terrible, but when I offered polite criticism, he got angry and said I just didn’t understand. That was the problem with being a “natural writer,” he said. No one understands.

At one point during the evening he wanted to check on his dog. He said it wasn’t far, but it turned out to be a long drive to the middle of nowhere. Nothing was open, and I had to piss really bad. It was the most resentful roadside pee imaginable.

After he snapped at me about not understanding his writing, I said I was tired and he should go. He asked me for $3.00 for gas. I wanted him gone so much I actually gave it to him.

I later found out that he had a huge coke problem, and he told the mutual friend who set us up that we had sex that night but that I ghosted him after. The ghosting part was true, anyway.”

8. A whole series of them

“Mine is a series of dates that led to the weirdest one.

I was a student at a big state school and it was very possible to meet someone at a party and never see them again. I chatted with a woman a few times who was always interesting and engaging. She was a Christian and outspoken about her faith. I’m cool with that, but I’m not all that outspoken myself.

I asked her out to dinner and a movie after the second or third time of running into her and chatting and she said yes. I wanted to keep it traditional and do the whole date thing, so I cleaned up and picked her up to go to a restaurant and a movie. It went well. We hugged, said our goodbyes, and that was it.

We wound up going out again for a drink or something and things seemed to go okay a second time. It was sort of platonic, but we never had a conversation where we said that we were just going to be friends or something else. In either case, we were definitely going on dates.

So, I invited her out on my signature move- a canoe trip on a local river. It’s spring-fed, crystal-clear, and there are a number of deep springs with floating docks. It’s a great time. We both worked retail and had a day off in the middle of the week so that was the plan.

When she got in the truck, she was surprised to hear that she would be needing a bathing suit to go canoeing (?) and so we stopped at Target for her to buy one. I received specific instructions to stay in the truck while she shopped. No big deal.

When she got back to the truck, she let me know that she bought a two piece because all of the one piece bathing suits didn’t work. Awesome. Things are going swimmingly. Except she followed up with “it doesn’t matter. You will never see me in a bathing suit anyway.” That was weird, but okay.

The canoeing was fun. We swam. She swam in a T shirt. That was weird. But, overall, we had fun. On the way back to town, I asked if she wanted to order a pizza and watch a movie. She said she couldn’t, because she and her roommate had a policy that boys were not allowed over alone. Then she backed up and said that well, since these weren’t dates and we weren’t dating, that it would be okay for me to come over, but I had to leave by 9:00.

Hold up, I said. These are dates. She got all weird about how these weren’t dates, that we were just friends, and that she was not going to date. God would provide her with a husband on his accord. Right, I said. And these are dates. I’m not sure how you missed that.

She went on to talk about dating and marriage and then dropped that she knew I wasn’t the one because God told her that her husband was a baseball player. She knew that her husband was going to be a baseball player and she would consider going on a date with a baseball player, but it would be a stretch.

I rescinded my offer to watch a movie and order a pizza, and that I didn’t think I was interested in going down this road. Shortly after, she called my phone about a dozen times in a row because she had a flat tire and wanted me to come change it. I told her to check with the baseball team.

Epilogue- Some time later I was at a party, standing around a keg, and doing normal college student stuff when one bro asked another bro if he remembered to invite his girlfriend to the party. People in the know laughed and eventually the story came out that this random girl would come to every baseball practice and every baseball game by herself, stare, and pray. She’d try and interject herself in awkward and creepy ways and she would randomly show up wherever they were. This was pre-social media, so it had to have taken a lot of effort to make this happen.

So, there you go. Don’t not date crazy religious women who are betrothed to collegiate athletes.”

9. Impostor

“The guy faked an Italian accent the entire time.

He was from Florida.”

10. Okay…

“Once had a girl get up and go to the bathroom during a make-out session. Came back with her head shaved.

I asked why she did that, she told me her “head was too hot” and she “had been thinking about doing it for a while”

Okay.

Made out for a little while longer until I could think of an excuse and got the hell out of there.”

11. Oh my

“I’ve got a weird one

met a girl at a bar

went back to her place

she did the whole whipped cream bikini thing

the whipped cream was spoiled

I muscle through sour whipped cream

30 minutes into fun time her daughter walks in on us that I didn’t even know was there or that she even had kids

another 15 minutes and her Aunt & Uncle walk in on us… yeah- wasn’t even her house but her Aunts.

She then breaks down in tears and starts telling me about being abused and her old heroin addiction.

then proceeded to tell me about her 2 other kids

I nope right the fuck out of there

a week or so later I see in the newspaper that she was in a car accident and died

surviving family members in the obituary included her current husband.”

12. Getting back out there

“First date after a broken engagement for me.

This girl kept telling me how much she wanted to go on a date with me off tinder. I was hesitant but she was persistent. Well, we got to the coffee shop and had some really nice conversation. Then she said she had some coworkers down the street that were at the Arcade Bar playing in a Mario Kart competition and if I would like to join in? Hell yes! We went down, got some beers and met the coworkers, super cool dudes.

She spent the rest of the night dodging around the bar trying to avoid them. Kept telling me how weird it was that they were here… uhh yeah but this was YOUR idea girl. Then she went to the bathroom and as she was getting up looked and me and said,

“can I bring my beer or are you going to drug me?”

Me “Uhh, what?”

“Are you going to drug me?”

“No, why the hell would I do that?”

“Ok.” Gets up to leave… “Actually, i’m going to bring my beer.”

Then when she gets back..

“My mom isn’t going to like YOU.”

Me “Uhh, ok why not?”

“You have me drinking on a thursday, I never do this. I can’t believe you made me.”

me “All of this was your idea, every single thing about it!”

Then when I walked her back to her car, she sprinted the last block to her car, got in and drove off. Then texted me telling me what a great time she had and if we could set up a time to meet again.

Edit: since people are enjoying this.

I had another tinder date with a second girl.

She invited me over to watch a movie. I came over and she was watching a movie with her roommate. They were already 25 minutes into the movie when I got there.

They didn’t want to talk while they watched the movie either.

So I sat awkwardly for two hours at a movie I didn’t know what was going on in. And neither of them would tell me what was happening.

Then movie ended and I got the hell out of there.”

13. Hi mom!

“Tinder date. Woke up to her mom knocking on her locked bedroom door and she made me hide under her bed while she had a full conversation with her mother.

She had her own apartment.”

14. AWKWARD

“I was on an exchange program with a French school and matched with one of the girls in my class on tinder. We didn’t speak before but we made an appointment via messages to meet at her place to watch a movie. We then realized that I didn’t speak French at all and that she could only communicate with me because she put everything I wrote and everything she wanted to say into google translator but she didn’t speak a single word in English.

So we watched a Movie and tried not to be awkward. I wanted to make a move but not being able to speak with her made it very weird for me I don’t exactly know why. So I didn’t do anything and when the movie ended there was a long uncomfortable silence… that was probably the most awkward moment in my life.”

15. Just like a Seinfeld episode

“She talked about herself in the 3rd person the whole time. I didn’t realize until the date was almost over that she did not have a best friend with the same name as her.”

The post 15 People Share the Weirdest Date They’ve Ever Been on appeared first on UberFacts.

10+ Tweets That You Need in Your Life Right Now

You need to read these tweets RIGHT THIS INSTANT.

And I don’t want to hear any arguments.

So go do it!

1. You sonofabitch!

2. I ask for gum…

3. He does. He does…

4. Fam is fam

5. Naw, it’s the first kind of description for me…

6. That skull-having motherfucker! That’s mine!

7. If this doesn’t make you laugh, you dead.

8. I hungry.

9. Tweet! Tweet! Tweet!

10. Ohhhh gurl!!! You got them ketchup fingers…

11. I love this man

12. Don’t think you haven’t thought this before…

13.

See? I told you that you needed them tweets!

You’re welcome!

The post 10+ Tweets That You Need in Your Life Right Now appeared first on UberFacts.

Clam Chowder Popsicles Are Here to Potentially Ruin Your Summer

I bet you can’t wait to chase down the ice cream truck down to get your hands on a popsicle this summer!

Well, I don’t mean to ruin your good mood, your love of popsicles, or your life, but some evil person posted the photo below on a Reddit page and outraged just about everyone. Oh, and they posted on it on the BOSTON Reddit page for good measure.

Ladies and gentlemen…the Clam Chowder Popsicle.

Summah is here! #NewEngland #clamchowdah from boston

Some of the comments on the photo on Reddit include:

“I’m calling the FBI.”

“I will spend 10 whole minutes in the Red Line rather than eat that.”

“I can smell this, you wretched f*ck. I can smell the picture.”

“I regret being born with eyes.”

“Oh my god. So f*cking gross…and what self respecting Bostonian eats Chunky f*cking chowder. My god you can get decent clam chowder here almost as easily as you can get a large regular from Dunkin.”

I think it’s safe to say that people on Twitter are not happy about this new development in the world of frozen treats, either.

Because why would anybody do this?

Whyyyyyy?!?!?!

They clearly only have a heart filled with evil.

And someone tweeted this out, which may lead to months of therapy for some of us.

Apparently, the person who posted the photo said in a Reddit message, “I did not make or eat the thing. My friend made it. I have no idea why she did it.”

So the good news is these babies aren’t for sale…yet.

I’m sorry you had to see this…

The post Clam Chowder Popsicles Are Here to Potentially Ruin Your Summer appeared first on UberFacts.

These 30 Kids Are Really Bad at Hide-And-Seek

Not everybody can be a natural at hide-and-seek. For some, it takes practice.

In homage to all of those people, here are 30 kids who are still learning the ropes of the game:

#30. This one’s pretty impressive, but also a poor spot.

Photo Credit: Jackie Blackshear

#29. A blindingly bad idea.

Photo Credit: imgur

#28. So much wrong going on.

Photo Credit: greecedlightnin

#27. Sometimes, you gotta bag it up.

Photo Credit: Stephlynn3

#26. Points for attempted camo.

Photo Credit: octbar

I had a hard time deciding how to rank? Cutest? Worst? Funniest.

I’m still not sure how I decided to rank them, but I know they’re all f’n awesome.