People Share the Stupidest Ways They’ve Injured Themselves

We’ve all injured ourselves in pretty dumb ways at one point or another in our lives. Okay, it’s confession time: when I was 12, I broke my hand…punching my brother in the head. Let’s just say my parents were not thrilled.

I still haven’t lived that one down.

AskReddit users opened up and shared the dumbest ways they’ve ever been injured.

1. The grape incident.

“Threw a grape in the air to catch it in my mouth.

It fell on the floor and I bent down to pick it up and smashed my face into the window sill.”

2. Shower disaster.

“Showering at a hotel in a small stall with a slippery tile floor. Bent over to wash my feet, my butt hit the tap handle. I slipped, put my hands out to save myself and violently slammed the glass shower door open. I bashed my forehead and bridge of nose on the tile floor, had a major nose bleed and a giant goose egg on my forehead.

I don’t have bangs to cover that up. I thought I had escaped without the black eyes I expected after bashing my nose, but 2 days later I woke up with deep purple swollen eyelids. Luckily I had packed my seldom used makeup to cover the worst of it and I wore a hat in the day time. I’m still shocked the shower door didn’t shatter when it hit the wall.”

3. Ouch! That’s not good.

“I was in the 4th or 5th grade but I jumped down an entire flight of stairs.

Landed hard and hurt my foot. Walked on it for a day or two afterwards turned out I shattered my heel and broke my ankle.”

4. That is brutal.

“Tripped over a storage ottoman trying to jump over it all slick.

Got my toes wedged in the latch and broke my foot in 2 places.”

5. Time to tape the toes together.

“I live in Minnesota so I am used to kicking snow off my boots by slamming my toe part of the boot down on the ground.

Well, it was summer and I happened to get my running shoes absolutely covered in mud, so I instinctively slammed my toes down on the pavement and broke my toes.”

6. Right into the shin.

“Stabbed myself in the leg with a piece of metal.

It was really thin and tapered at the tip so when you swung it you would hear this really cool “Whoosh” sound.

I swung down way to hard and it went right into my shin. Bad times.”

7. That is odd.

“I got out of a long, hot shower and noticed a thread dangling off of my shirt, and when I tried to pull it out it just neatly sliced through several millimeters of my finger.

It was so minor I can hardly even call it an injury, but getting cut by a shirt is definitely the stupidest I’ve had.”

8. Funny but painful.

“Was helping husband replace the bathroom fan, so I was standing on the side of the bathtub.

I had this plastic hook glued to the shower wall to hang a loofa on. I went to get down and slid down the wall and hooked my butt cheek to the wall.

It hurt so bad but was also hilarious. I’m in my 40s and this happened recently.”

9. Getting old is no fun.

“I dropped something behind my couch, leaned over the back to pick it up and cracked a rib.

Was in pain for a week. Getting old is hell.”

10. Could’ve been worse.

“To try to get a cheap laugh out of my ex, I threw a hammer as hard as I could at a tree.

The hammer bounced off the tree, and I turned just in time for it to hit me in the small of my back.

Miracle I’m not paralyzed.”

11. An epic tale.

“When I was a kid, maybe 10 or so, I had recently discovered that the feet on my prosthetics could be unscrewed and moved into different positions, so I “borrowed” and Allen key from my dad and took it to school so I could unscrew my feet and show my friends at recess…non of them were as blown away by this as I’d hoped, pretty sure they were just used to this kind of thing by now haha.

Anyway, the bell went to tell us to go back to class and I very quickly tightened the feet back onto the prosthetics, put my shoes back on and started making my way back to class. As I was walking with a group of my classmates I started to notice my legs felt wobbly. I looked down and with every step my feet were turning outwards slightly. A normal person would have come to the conclusion “oh, I didn’t tighten the screws up enough”.

But not me, I jumped to the conclusion of “HOLY SHIT I CAN CONTROL MY FEET LIKE A ROBOT”. My excitement quickly turned to dread when I realised I don’t know how to control feet (been an amputee since I was a baby) and they kept turning until one was pointing sideways. Despite this I kept trying to walk and after a few more steps the foot just fell off and I managed to slam the now footless prosthetic down, which jarred my knee and hips and caused me to slip over and face plant into the corner of a cement mini wall (one of those waist high walls).

Being a self respecting 10yo I started bawling my eyes out, which caught the attention of the new teacher. It’s her first day and the only disabled student is in pieces, (the foot got thrown backwards when it fell off) with a bloodied nose, screaming like a banshee. She didn’t really know what to do since I couldn’t get back up, so she gave me some tissues for my nose and made a very confused call to the maintenance man asking if he knows how to fix prosthetics so I can get to the school nurse.”

12. That is messed up.

“Walked onto a manhole cover that was not placed on correctly.

Ended up in the hospital and had to to have 3 surgeries over 4 months.”

13. Not a good idea.

“My friend saw a jellyfish on the beach then kicked it. Like on purpose and knowing what it was.

They had to go to the ER.”

14. Watch out!

“Riding my bike home in 5th grade slowly alongside my walking friends.

Friend : Drew look where you’re going

Drew : naw dude I’m good at biking I can do it with my eyes closed

Friend : no really dude, look out

Drew : naw man, I’m good

Instantly crashes into a parked car, mess up my bike chain, have to drag my bike home in shame and explain to my mom why my knee and lip are bleeding.”

15. Walking from now on.

“Thought I could walk my dog on a leash while riding my bike. Dog saw a squirrel and yanked me off my bike. I broke a few bones in my hand.

Doc was like “what did you expect would happen?” “

16. Undone by a paper bag.

“Bending over to pick up a paper bag. A completely empty paper grocery store bag. It was standing upright, not even laying on the floor. I barely had to even bend down to pick it up.

Somehow this triggered a cosmic alignment between two vertebrae and nerve cluster because suddenly I fell to the floor in crippling pain, could not get my back straight and had to crawl to the living room so I could lay on the carpeted floor and try to stretch it out. I ended up fucked up like this for days and had to have physical therapy to slowly work out the pinched nerve. I was basically walking like Quasimodo for a couple weeks.

People would assume I was in an accident or lifting some boulder like Hercules or saving a child pinned under a car. But nope. I was undone by an empty paper bag.”

17. This person is definitely accident-prone.

“Wow, so many options.

Most recent. Working under my truck on a slight slope while on a creeper. Grabbed the undercarriage and yanked hard to slide to the back, forgot about slope and used excessive force. I probably would have wound up in the street, had all 250lbs of me not been decelerated by the top of my head hitting the differential. Woke up and it was darker and my neck was sore. I also had a horn like a unicorn (big lump). 2 weeks on concussion watch and wearing a hat to conceal the lump.

Most memorable. 8yo me finds a weird blue light bulb in the creek. Has what looks like mica inclusions in the glass and steel wool instead of a filament. 8yo me goes into the closet with a 9v battery and 2 wires to find out what it looks like lit. I hold it between index and middle finger and apply the wires. Eureka! Like a flash I realize. It’s a flash bulb. I am now blind, in a closet, 2 fingers melted to a hot flash bulb. Keystone Kops antics ensue.

Strangest. Talking to my sister on the landline in the kitchen. I have raccoon hands, always touching things, picking things up, etc while talking. At one point I wind up with a peanut butter cookie and an open flame. Even I don’t know how I got there, lol. Peanut butter cookie winds up on fire. I try to throw it into the sink, miss badly, cookie breaks up and flaming pieces fall on my bare feet. I learn there are a LOT of nerve endings on top of my feet. Screaming somehow communicates problem to sister, who I can hear laughing on the dropped handset.

Bonus. Forgot the cookie lesson regarding nerve endings. Barbecuing in a Weber kettle. In flip flops. I spread out the pile of briquettes once they were ready. Bottom vents were open and hot embers fell on my feet. Poured beer on my feet and increased the vocabulary of nearby children.”

18. Please don’t ever do that again.

“I was separating my eyelashes (because mascara) with a safety pin.

Stabbed myself in the eyeball.”

Wow. Those are pretty…dumb.

How about you? What’s the stupidest way you’ve ever injured yourself?

Don’t be shy! Tell us in the comments!

The post People Share the Stupidest Ways They’ve Injured Themselves appeared first on UberFacts.

There’s a Giant Ice Labyrinth in Poland You’ll Want to Get Lost In

There’s an “ice labyrinth” in Poland that looks incredible.

BEHOLD!

View this post on Instagram

Snowlandia – Śnieżny labirynt 2020?

A post shared by Snowlandia (@snowlandia_zakopane) on

Snowlandia is a sort of winter amusement park located in Zakopane, a region on the southern border of Poland.

While they offer other attractions like sledding, skiing, and a “mini zoo,” their main attraction is an enormous maze, constructed of snow and ice and containing all sorts of hidden treasures.

The maze was first constructed in 2015, and has to be rebuilt each year.

It takes a crew of 50 people about a month to put it together, and sudden temperature spikes can reverse a lot of work quickly.

The structure owes its design to Derek Pytlik and Artur Haber, and takes around 60,000 snow blocks to complete.

It’s a big draw for tourists, especially ones with kids.

View this post on Instagram

#myall❤

A post shared by ??????í?? ???á???á ? (@slavomirapekarova) on

So bundle up, and don’t get lost.

A lot of folks refer to it as the “biggest” or “largest” maze of its kind, but we can’t find anything official to back that up.

According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the largest snow maze was created in Manitoba, Canada, and the largest ice maze was in Buffalo, New York.

Your guess is as good as ours as to what the difference is between those categories…

Getting lost in the cold isn’t most peoples’ idea of a good time, but this is tempting.

Would you brave the great Ice Labyrinth?

Let us know in the comments.

The post There’s a Giant Ice Labyrinth in Poland You’ll Want to Get Lost In appeared first on UberFacts.

There’s a Giant Ice Labyrinth in Poland You’ll Want to Get Lost In

There’s an “ice labyrinth” in Poland that looks incredible.

BEHOLD!

View this post on Instagram

Snowlandia – Śnieżny labirynt 2020?

A post shared by Snowlandia (@snowlandia_zakopane) on

Snowlandia is a sort of winter amusement park located in Zakopane, a region on the southern border of Poland.

While they offer other attractions like sledding, skiing, and a “mini zoo,” their main attraction is an enormous maze, constructed of snow and ice and containing all sorts of hidden treasures.

The maze was first constructed in 2015, and has to be rebuilt each year.

It takes a crew of 50 people about a month to put it together, and sudden temperature spikes can reverse a lot of work quickly.

The structure owes its design to Derek Pytlik and Artur Haber, and takes around 60,000 snow blocks to complete.

It’s a big draw for tourists, especially ones with kids.

View this post on Instagram

#myall❤

A post shared by ??????í?? ???á???á ? (@slavomirapekarova) on

So bundle up, and don’t get lost.

A lot of folks refer to it as the “biggest” or “largest” maze of its kind, but we can’t find anything official to back that up.

According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the largest snow maze was created in Manitoba, Canada, and the largest ice maze was in Buffalo, New York.

Your guess is as good as ours as to what the difference is between those categories…

Getting lost in the cold isn’t most peoples’ idea of a good time, but this is tempting.

Would you brave the great Ice Labyrinth?

Let us know in the comments.

The post There’s a Giant Ice Labyrinth in Poland You’ll Want to Get Lost In appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About 13 Commonly-Believed Myths and Explain Why They’re so Dumb

You can immediately verify pretty much any fact these days by looking it up on Google. If you’re savvy enough, you’ll have the truth within a few minutes. But once upon a time, misinformation spread really easily. To this day, there are a ton of “facts” that countless people believe are true, even though they couldn’t be more false.

A Reddit user asked, “What stupid myth do too many people believe?”

The people answered, and let’s just say everyone should read this thread to avoid looking stupid.

1. Frogs don’t jump out of boiling water.

“That if you put a frog in tepid water and slowly raise the temperature, the frog won’t try to escape and save itself when the temp gets too high.

Great for illustrating certain points, but completely untrue.”

2. Goldfish live in bowls.

“That goldfish ARE NOT meant to live in bowls! The average goldfish gets about fourteen inches long in proper conditions, and because they’re such dirty animals (they generate ammonia like you wouldn’t believe) they need heavy proper filtration. Yes, you should have 20 gallons per goldfish. That means two goldfish go into a FILTERED forty gallon tank. No, an air pump is not a filter. No, a plant is not a filter. No, you cannot put other tropical fish with your goldfish, because goldfish require lower temperatures (65 degrees Fahrenheit) while tropical fish require higher temperatures (78 degrees Fahrenheit).

Goldfish can live up to 25 years. Putting them in a bowl means you are stunting their growth, but not the growth of their inner organs. They stay 2 inches while their organs keep growing inside of them, which is why they die in 2 years, instead of living to be 25 years old, and over a foot long.

That turned more into a rant than anything but oh well, PSA brought to you by a humble aquatics associate at a pet store.”

3. The Bermuda triangle.

“For any given same-sized sea area there is statistically the same amount of missing ships and planes.

No, it’s not fucking a magically dangerous place.

Grow up.”

4. Gum stays in your stomach for seven years.

“Actual truth is that you shit out a piece of gum within a day or two in case anybody wanted to know.

So yeah… this one is complete bullshit”

5. You can target belly fat.

“Spot reduction of fat.

People think that doing sit-ups will burn fat around your belly area.

How stupid can you be?”

6. Fire sprinklers go off whenever the alarm does.

“They don’t all go off by pulling a fire alarm.

They’re individually heat-activated.”

7. Cracking your knuckles causes arthritis.

“All it is is just gas bubbles popping.

Also some guy did a long term experiment (several decades I think) where he constantly cracked all knuckles in one hand and left the other one alone.

After the experiment was over, they took X-rays and tests to find that both hands were practically identical in terms of condition.”

8. How to cure a snake bite.

“You can suck venom out of a snake bite…..”

“My cat bit a friend who was catsitting for me, he tried to suck out the venom’ and spent several days in hospital with sepsis.”

9. Rabbits love carrots.

“This isn’t actually that stupid really but it’s my favorite weird myth: That rabbits love carrots.

They don’t, you give a hungry rabbit a carrot it’ll probably eat it, but they likely wouldn’t be high on it’s preference list. So why are carrots stereotyped as a rabbit’s favorite food? Weirdly, because of Bugs Bunny.

Bugs is always munching on a carrot, but why if rabbits don’t really eat carrots normally? Because he was created in 1938 and that particular quirk was a parody of Clark Gable’s character from the 1934 movie It Happened One Night, who had a famous scene being a wiseacre while munching on a carrot. The movie is mostly forgotten today but was a huge hit at the time. Contemporary audiences (who would have also been seeing the cartoons in a movie theater as pre-show shorts) would have recognized the reference as easily as early 2000s audiences would recognize a bullet dodging scene as Matrix parody.

The carrot munching bit became Bugs’ signature and over time the origin was mostly forgotten. Everyone associated rabbits with carrots so strongly because of that that it eventually became “common knowledge” that rabbits love carrots despite it not being true at all.

The myth is prevalent enough that pet shops will commonly warn people getting pet rabbits to make sure they feed them a proper diet, because carrots are not sufficient and the poor bunny can actually starve to death.”

10. Porcupines can shoot quills.

“Too many people believe that porcupines can shoot their quills when they actually have to jab you with their quills.”

11. Being an organ donor is risky.

“That if you’re an organ donor then doctors won’t try hard to save you and might ‘let you die’.

I’m a doctor, when I’m treating a patient whether the patient is an organ donor or not never crosses my mind, I will genuinely have no idea. And even if I did, why would I want to sacrifice MY patient for some random other patient across the country? Surely that would just make me look like a shit doctor!”

12. Humans only use 10% of their brain.

“Good grief I can’t listen to people who say this is true. The worst thing is, my teacher in elementary school thinks that humans only use 10-15% of their brain, and the reason Albert Einstein, for example, was super smart is that he used about 30% of his brain. The biggest amount of bullshit I’ve ever heard, and the person saying it is a science teacher…”

13. A fractured bone is different than a broken one.

“In my experience, it seems that most people think a fracture is when it’s not broken the whole way and broken means it’s broken clean in half (or multiple pieces).

In this case, I understand their intent, they simply don’t know the right words. Still annoying though, they do mean the same thing.”

So what did you think about those myths? Have your mind blown by any of that info?

Tell us a myth you couldn’t believe wasn’t true in the comments. Sharing is caring!

The post People Talk About 13 Commonly-Believed Myths and Explain Why They’re so Dumb appeared first on UberFacts.

These People Really Should Have Thought Things Through Before They Finished Their Projects

I’m not sure what happened here but it all adds up to NO GOOD AT ALL.

For any of us. And especially for the people who designed these monstrosities.

What were they thinking?

Let’s take a look, shall we?

1. Well, which one is it?!?!

To stir or not to stir. That is the question from CrappyDesign

2. Be careful out there.

This backroad near my house from CrappyDesign

3. World War 11 was intense.

This plaque near my house from onejob

4. Are you a wizard?

Those Are Some Interesting Arms You Got There… from CrappyDesign

5. What are you covering up down there?

The implication that this tooth has genitals… from CrappyDesign

6. Make yourself comfortable.

Waiting to engage in a dining experience at my favorite taco establishment. from CrappyDesign

7. Totally realistic.

Finally a realistic mannequins in women’s lingerie store from CrappyDesign

8. No thank you.

Imagine being drunk from CrappyDesign

9. Camo in space.

The US Space Force has olive-green camouflage uniforms … for outer space. from CrappyDesign

10. Who did this?

These two pens at my office…. Nothing can possibly go wrong from mildlyinfuriating

11. Do Die Safely.

[OC] This won the design competition from CrappyDesign

12. All mixed up.

This elevator from CrappyDesign

13. That is…disgusting.

This tablecloth that looks like a hair carpet from CrappyDesign

14. Mixed signals.

This new wall art in my office. from CrappyDesign

Get it together, all you designers out there!

You’re really dropping the ball!

Have you seen any really ridiculous design fails lately?

Share some pics with us in the comments, por favor!

The post These People Really Should Have Thought Things Through Before They Finished Their Projects appeared first on UberFacts.

Funny and Weird Memes Made From wikiHow Illustrations

Have you ever heard of wikiHow? It actually has a lot useful info for a lot of random stuff, but one of the best things about the website are the illustrations. They go WAY above and beyond the call of duty with their weird/funny/bizarre/hilarious drawings that accompany instructions.

Yeah, you could say I’m a big fan! Or maybe the biggest fan? Well, apparently not, because others have taken upon themselves to grab a bunch of these drawings and make hilarious, out-of-context memes.

Let’s take a look at some of the more unusual pieces of “art” from wikiHow.

1. Waterboarding the dog.

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

2. Lookin’ good. Lookin’ real good.

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

3. I’ll show you!

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

4. I love Japan!

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

5. Just like Bill and Ted.

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

6. A lofty goal.

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

7. That would be me.

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

8. Happy birthday, son!

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

9. Go with a new hairdo.

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

10. Oh boy…

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

11. Let’s make a deal.

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

12. Might as well jump.

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

13. Gonna get ugly.

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

14. Never thought of that one before…

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

15. Risky, but totally worth it.

Photo Credit: Ruin My Week

Genius. Pure and absolute genius.

So… let me ask you something… do you spend any time on wikiHow? Yes, that’s a personal question. Answer me!

No, but seriously, what do you think? Is this art weird or brilliant? Funny or creative?

Share your thoughts with us in the comments!

The post Funny and Weird Memes Made From wikiHow Illustrations appeared first on UberFacts.

People Who Left in the Middle of a Date Share What Happened

Have you ever been on a date that was so bad that you just got up and left in the middle of it? Or maybe you were on the receiving end of such a situation?

Either way, it’s awkward and uncomfortable for everyone involved.

AskReddit users shared their stories where this took place.

1. Do you have the plague?

“I told her I was color blind, she recoiled and said it was “gross” and sat there looking at me like I had the plague or something.

I just sort of got up and left.

It was really odd.”

2. A little too pushy.

“She started talking about ‘our wedding’ and ‘our future kids’ on our first date. She wasn’t joking around, and when I told her that it was way too sudden to be talking about that, she looked at me quizically and said “Don’t you want to get married?”

First online date I’d ever gone on. Plenty of awkward ones after that (including the girl who got drunk then admitted she had an infant son and lived with her ex-husband), but that one took the cake.”

3. That’s very awkward.

“He brought another girl with him.

We had agreed to go for dinner, then see a movie together, not with anyone else, as a date. We had definitely agreed it was, in fact, a date. I would’ve understood if we hadn’t made it clear if it was a date, but we both knew it was.

Anyways, he shows up with another girl. He pretty much ignores me the entire time, the bitch is sneering at me when he isn’t looking. Why agree to a date when you’re going to bring another girl? He didn’t even tell me he was going to bring someone. He just did.

When we get to the movies, we take our seats, and I said ‘I’m going to the washroom’ and grabbed my stuff and left.”

4. By the way…

“Guy from OkCupid a few years back.

Takes me to a 5 star restaurant, I try to stick to the middle of the road drinks/food as it’s a first date. Dinner went really well so we decide to go for post-dinner drinks. I get to the point where I feel I should stop drinking since it’s a first date and I wasn’t really ready for him to see me trashed. He orders me another drink and then invites me over to his house because his wife is out of town.

Date over.”

5. What are your intentions?

“We met online.

She brought her sister on our first date. She never spoke and all her sister did was drill me about “my plans” and “my intentions.” After ordering she said “I hope you’re planning on paying. That’s what a real man would do on a first date.”

So I said “true but this wasn’t a date, it was a job interview” I dropped my half in cash and walked out. Btw I drove us there.

Never heard from them again.”

6. I’m very important.

“Blind date, Indian restaurant. First thing he does is produce a folder of photos of him and various celebrities. Shows me them, one by one. He keeps…clutching at me.

After about 15 minutes of this, I say “this isn’t really – I don’t think we’re compatible. I think I should go” and get up to leave. He stood up too, and shouted at me as I left. No, I did not look back.

This happened in the mid-1980s, so unless the guy you’re thinking of is now in his 70s, it’s not him.

Yes, a real manila folder, with 8×10 glossies, in a real manila enevelope. Mid 1980s. No Photoshop, no iphone.

The two celebs I remember seeing are Jimmy Carter and the Dalai Lama. Remember, this was 30 years ago.

No, I don’t remember what he was shouting. I was focused on GTFO of there, and as I said, 30 years ago.

No, I don’t remember which Indian restaurant, but it was in Cambridge MA. Yellow walls.

Yes, he was a Harvard man. No, he was not blind. A “blind date” is when somebody fixes you up with somebody you don’t know, or when you go out with somebody you’ve met via a dating service or ad. (No photos back then; just descriptions.)

Also, I am so glad this entertained you all. My operating principle re: nightmare experiences is “This is God’s way of giving us drinking stories.” You’ve proved me right.”

7. The baby was sober…

“Met girl online.

She shows up for our first date drunk, with her drunk friend… and one month old son that she had forgot to mention (baby was sober I think).

I excused myself to the restroom and ran like my ass was on fire.”

8. Sounds like a keeper.

“He was 45 minutes late, got mad that another guy had started chatting me up at the bar while I waited.

Then proceeded to tell me about the hidden satanic messages in the opening ceremony of the Olympics.”

9. Creeper City.

“I was in my late teens and went on a date with a friend of a friend. He seemed nice, and I got the OK from my bff, so I anticipated a pleasant, quiet evening – we were just going for frozen yogurt and TV at his house, after all. Well everything’s going smooth and he seems really sweet. He tells me he likes to write poetry and my teenage girl brain is thinking, “Wow! A sensitive guy! How refreshing.” Then he tells me that he wants to show me something. I assumed it was a poem he wrote because we had just talked about it.

ME: “Ok! What is it?”
HIM: “Well, it’s not ready yet, but it will be in a couple minutes.” As he leans over on his side, away from me. ME: Confused, because I’m expecting a poem… is he going to write a poem in a couple minutes? This is going to be awkward.

Then he starts making all these innuendos about what it is. I get annoyed because he sounds like he’s describing his penis, and the joke is dying fast. Finally, just to shut him up, I say, “If it’s your DICK then NO I DON’T want to see it!”

HIM: “Oh… okay then.” And he sits back normally on the couch. I’m super confused and think he’s pulling my leg. I ask if he’s kidding and says no. He seriously wanted to whip out his junk and show me.
ME: “What the hell am I supposed to say to you while your dick is out?!”
HIM: “Well, my last girlfriend told me she’d been waiting to see it all night.” ME: Stunned silence. Then, “Ohh…kay…”

Being the awkward teen I was, I sat back into the couch, not touching him (we had been cuddling up until that conversation) and uncomfortably waited out the remainder of whatever show was on TV – and then bolted.

After I got home, I called my BFF and frantically told her what had happened. Her response? “Ohhh, yeah, I forgot to tell you. He likes to do that.””

10. I’m a professional.

“OKcupid date – emailed back and forth, had some common interests, seemed like we would get along. We met up and got food, a couple drinks, seemed to be getting along well. Then he starts talking about how good he is at Karaoke.

He’s been in contests and won first place, he and his friends go all the time, etc. I tell him I’ve only done karaoke a few times, when very drunk and with a big group of friends. I also mention that I’m pretty sure I’m tone deaf. He tells me there is a Karaoke place only one block away!!!

I tell him I’m not interested. He tells me you get your own little booth. No one else will even hear you. You can pick whatever songs you want!!! No waiting while other people sing!!! It’s clear he’s not giving up, so I grab two shots of vodka and say fine, I’ll try it. We go to the karaoke lounge and get our booth and he does three or four songs perfectly. I start my first song and he starts criticizing me, and pointing out what i’m doing wrong WHILE I’m trying to sing.

Then he picks up the other mic and starts singing over me. I say fuck this and just get up to leave. He chases after me and tells me -” I need you to pay for half of this”. It’s $60. I look in my wallet, take out the only cash I had and said “here’s $20, and you can go fuck yourself”. Then he follows me to the bus stop and tried to make idle chit chat while I wait to get the fuck away from him.”

11. Show and tell.

“Had joined a new sports club and there was one guy who was quiet and kind of just hung around the periphery of the group. I felt kind of bad for him so was always trying to bring him into conversations and talk to him. One night we all went out for drinks after the game and I talked to him for awhile.

Conversation was hard work but he seemed like a nice guy. He texted and asked me if I wanted to go out for coffee. I wasn’t really interested but knew given how quiet he was that it probably took a ton of nerve to text me that and I thought maybe in a 1:1 environment he would be more comfortable and I could get to know him a little more.

We met at the coffee shop and he had a big backpack with him. We ordered drinks then chatted, with me again doing most of the talking – he rarely initiated but would answer questions. About 1/2 hour in he said he had a few things to show me to let me get to know him better. He then did a show and tell from his backpack pulling out various items and pictures and telling me about them.

Some were kind of interesting (a family trip) and some I had no idea how to respond to (here is a picture of how I had my hair cut in grade 8). He had stuffed animals and lots of items from his childhood. I kept trying to bring the conversation to the present to find out if the item linked to a current interest or hobby but he kind of had the story about each item rehearsed and he would go right back to the show and tell.

Eventually the table was full of stuff and I tried to politely say that I had seen enough and change the topic. He told me had still had more to show me. I ended up saying I felt sick and left. I felt kind of bad but it was just getting too weird.”

12. Blame it on the pot pie.

“I left in the middle of a movie once. The date was going great but I forgot that I had left a pot pie in the oven in my apartment (only broke college guys and old people eat pot pies). I remembered a few minutes in and whispered something along the lines of “gotta get my pot pie out of the oven so I don’t burn down my apartment I’ll be right back.”

I did return but she was pissed. Thought we could go see the pot pie and have a laugh. Arrived at my previously empty apartment to find my brother and the neighbor girls drunk and naked in my living room. Showed her the pot pie and she said something along the lines of “you’re an asshole take me home”.”

13. Two-timing.

“I’ve had a girl walk out on me, took me weeks to realise why.

This was date 3. We’d met initially at a nightclub randomly, kinda just said hi and our groups merged (the boys and her girls), met up a week later at a carnival and ha a great time.

This day in particular, we met up for a basic lunch at a nice little spot near my place and just had nothing to talk about (which was odd, she seemed semi vacant). Lunch goes by with small talk, we pay separately and she asks to come back to my place – no problems there, she’s an attractive girl and I have a penis. Anyhow, we get back to my place, she throws on a dvd while I snack up the coffee table and we start talking about pet peeves with the opposite sex.

Usual things come up first, like toilet seat positioning and ‘get ready time’ for outings. Somehow it leads on to a story about this girl I knew who was ‘dating’ me whilst having an actual boyfriend on the side, and how disrespectful it was in the end. She just goes pale white, grabs her stuff and makes some excuse about forgetting something at home.

I thought I’d maybe sounded a bit cocky or come across like a douchebag, kinda felt like an ass for a day or so and moved on. My housemate ran into her and her boyfriend shopping a week later. That was awkward.”

14. Well, that’s a little forward.

“Went to get coffee to test the waters with someone new.

First thing he did was ask me to turn around and lift my shirt so he can see my ass.

I got up, turned around and walked out the door.”

I can honestly say that I’ve never walked out of a date…even though I wanted to sometimes…

Has this ever happened to you? Or maybe you were the one who walked out?

Tell us about your bad date experiences in the comments!

The post People Who Left in the Middle of a Date Share What Happened appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share How They’d Ruin a First Date Immediately

I’m not sure who would purposely ruin a first date, but there are a ton of weirdos out there, so anything goes these days, it seems.

The question posed on AskReddit was: “You got ten seconds to ruin a first date. How?”

And AskReddit users let us into their twisted little worlds…enjoy!

1. Let’s speed this up.

“Tell them to make this quick you have another one in an hour.”

2. That was Johnny.

“Answer a fake phone call with “Hey babe. Yeah I’m at the bar with Johnny. See you later. Love you!’”

3. Mommy says so.

“Mom says I have to go on at least one date a month or else she’ll cut me off.

So let’s get this over with.”

4. Put a scare into them.

“Oh, I’m so glad you agreed to meet. My kids need a new Daddy.

Since I’ve been cleared of that *air quotes* accident my late husband had, it’s time to get back out there.

*takes phone call, whispering* No, no, he’s here. Yeah. No, he’s not a drinker so the liver should be fine.”

5. Some light conversation.

“What’s your stance on abortion?

Because you should know my stance on condoms.”

6. That should do it.

“Her: “Hi! Thank you for coming to pick me up!”

Me: “I don’t think I could have waited another second.” and then rip the juiciest, rankest fart possible just after she’s gotten in the car and make sure to lock the windows so she can’t get fresh air. Follow with “You’re WELCOME.” “

7. Dig for gold.

“Don’t say a word, lock eyes, and just go knuckle deep in my nose and dig around for a good long while.”

8. You might get punched.

“I have another girl waiting so if we’re not gonna fuck after this I need to go.”

9. Forgot about that.

“Whoops left this on.

Slip off wedding band.”

10. This will get you in trouble.

“Laugh very loudly and obnoxiously and then exclaim, “I haven’t laughed this hard since 9/11″

Works every time.”

11. This is a great opportunity.

“Admit you aren’t attracted to them and only invited them out to hear about your great MLM business opportunity.”

12. How rude!

“I much rather be doing something else right now, but I guess this will do.”

13. Too much, too soon.

“I think I’m falling in love with you.”

14. If they agree, it all works out.

“I’d say “So now that I’m here we can discuss prices.

For me being at this dinner it’s $250. If you want to have sex later it will be an extra $500.”

15. Creeper vibes.

“Aww. Look at this puppy!

It’s so sexy, makes me really horny.”

16. Oh, Mother! She always knows best!

“Just reply with laughing for 5 seconds minimum followed by “Mother always says that!””

17. Put them to sleep.

“Explain the intricate details as to why RBMK Reactor number 4 failed causing Europe’s biggest nuclear accident.”

18. First things first.

“Ask to see their feet before even greeting them.”

19. I think that would probably work.

“Scratch my scalp furiously and say, “Ugh, I hate having fleas!””

20. Meet the family!

“We can’t order until my wife and kids get here to see if they like you.”

21. He’ll be gone in no time.

“I’m gonna walk in, in a wedding dress with a priest, ask him to marry me.”

Those all sound pretty good to me! Cheers to ruining a first date!

What do you think? Have you ever sabotaged a date on purpose? Or maybe you blew it on accident and regretted it?

Share your dating disaster stories with us in the comments!

The post People Share How They’d Ruin a First Date Immediately appeared first on UberFacts.

Very Funny Tweets That Are Also Very Dark

I’ve heard before that folks who have a dark sense of humor are more intelligent than other folks. There may be some truth to that, but if it were 100% true, I would be a total genius because I HAVE A SICK MIND.

Maybe a little too sick…but it is what it is.

If you’re like me, you’ll enjoy these tweets a whole lot.

1. Showed her.

2. It’s kind of true…

3. Pay no attention to him.

4. Don’t worry about me.

5. Forget about that.

6. Sad animals everywhere.

7. End it all now.

8. Yeah sure, buddy.

9. Wow. That is dark.

10. Now that’s a zinger!

11. Same here!

12. That’s depressing…

13. I mean, it’s her last chance.

Dark, yet funny! Right up my alley!

What about you? Do you have a sick sense of humor where anything goes?

Tell us about it in the comments, please!

The post Very Funny Tweets That Are Also Very Dark appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share Supernatural or Other-Worldly Experiences They’ve Had

We live in a world where science rules, but that doesn’t mean we have an explanation for everything.

Sure, many people don’t believe in ghosts or other supernatural beings, but is it fair to discount the possibility that they exist?

One Reddit AMA asked people to reveal things they’ve seen or been through that can’t be easily explained.

10. The Sliding Gel Cap

“When I was a kid I was putting on gel in front of the mirror. My bedroom door was locked. When I finished I tried placing the lid back on the jar with my sticky gel hands. I dropped it and hit my foot and it slid under the bed. I was like fuck and dried my hands with the little towel. Then, as I was bending over to pick the lid from under the bed, it slid back out. On its own.

I didn’t panic or anything but I did look under the bed and there was absolutely nothing where it could’ve bounced off of. Also; by the time I reached for it, it wouldn’t make sense either way.

It’s not a scary or interesting story with poltergeist activity and humanoid characters but I always think about it. What was it? What pushed the lid back out? I’ll never have an answer.”—bukowsk

9. The Girl in the Dream

“So many, many years ago I was dating a girl, now that’s supernatural in and of itself but there’s more.

I cared for her deeply, first relationships will do that to you, but she was in a bad way. Too much partying, too many drugs, hanging with what is absolutely the wrong crowd, and some very illegal shit after she broke up with me that I’m really not comfortable discussing. A couple of years go by, I think of her on occasion and hope she’s doing better but not terribly often.

Then one night I have the dream. In it she’s standing by my bed and reassuring me that everything is okay, she’s better now, and there’s no need to worry about her anymore. Odd dream, but I don’t think much of it until two days later when I catch sight of a newspaper with a story about having found a who had gone missing.

She OD’ed on heroin the night I had the dream.

She wasn’t a saint, but she’d also come up a bad way and, according to what mutual friends had relayed to me, I’d been one of the few people who really cared about her. I don’t really have an explanation for what happened, but I like to think that she wanted to make sure I knew she was going to be alright.

It’s part of what leaves me firmly believing in some sort of afterlife.”—LooseCannonK

8. Story of a Sentient TV

“I have an old tv my parents bought way back in 1986, when they were living in Germany. When I was little, that tv was retired from the main family tv to the basement tv, and my bedroom was in the basement. I very clearly remember waking up in the middle of the night, frequently and randomly, for years and laying down on the couch in front of that tv. It would turn itself on and play music for me so I could fall asleep on the couch. As I’ve grown older, moved from place to place with it, it’s done other things . . .turning on to full screeching static when my toaster caught fire while I was in another room, or dramatically turning off and not coming back on when I’ve been awake for too long. . .weird shit, really.

I don’t know what’s up with it, or inside it, but there’s something in there, and it’s my oldest and most loyal friend.

Edit: first, thank you kind stranger for the gold. Second, it is a Hitachi brand tv, they bought it on a military base post exchange.”—Kepheo

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

7. Reappearing Items

“I had just moved into my first apartment. It was a very small studio in a not so great neighborhood. I was 21. I started noticing things going missing after a couple of weeks. A nice pair of underwear. A charm bracelet. Things I thought maybe I left somewhere or lost or misplaced. Until I noticed a picture of me and my friend i had on my fridge was gone. I was perplexed. I turned my apartment upside down. No picture. Over the course of the year, little things would just disappear. I even went to the office and asked how many employees had access to my apartment. The office manager showed me the safe with the keys and showed me the log of who takes what key when. None of the dates added up to missing items. I was perplexed. I was about 2 weeks from moving out because my lease was up and I was moving in with my boyfriend. A storm came in and damaged the apartment building, roof and HVAC. Maintenance let me know they’d be coming in to replace ductwork and replenish insulation. The guys come in, go in my bedroom closet, and lo and behold, there’s a panel leading to this weird attic space that spans the entire half of the apartment (4 homes). I had no idea it was there and the maintenance guys assure me that its only accessible from my apartment. I decided to poke my head up an look about while they were up there. In the back corner above my bedroom, was what I can only describe as a shrine of my stuff. My underwear, picture, jewelry, all of my missing items. All together. Placed in a triangle. I got so freaked out i just left it all there. I moved into my boyfriend’s house that night. I had him and his friends move my things for me so I didn’t have to go back. I told the apartment manager but she didn’t seem to care at all. I get physically ill when I talk about it still because I know someone was watching me that whole time and I had no clue.”—thebluntfairy

6. Was it a UFO?

“In the middle of the 90s we visited some family at their farm in another country … and the place was super rural, like they had some pipe coming out of the side of some mountin for fresh water and one of this dumpster toilets that are actually just a hole in the ground, and if its full, they throw earth on it and dig a new one.

So, it was in the middle of summer and super frigging hot, even at night. I had awoken around 3am because I needed to take a leak and went outside to go to that little shithole in the ground. There was nearly no electric light outside, so no light polution, just a brilliant starlit sky all over and around me. So I looked up and let it sink in and just enjoyed the moment, when suddenly a thick, fat, gleaming lightbeam raced from left to right over the sky, STOPPED freaking in the middle, hung there for about 0,5-1s and then raced off to the right. The whole thing lasted for less then 2s, but it left me dumbfounded. I was never a big UFO believer, but dayum, what the fuck was that?”—Akumakaji

5. At Least A Force Was With This Redditor

“When a strange force pulled me 12 blocks through my small town one night, I just sort of felt like walking and as I went on the impulse got stronger until I could tell exactly where I was going, the location had 0 significant relevance to me or my life and when I got to one end of the field there was a small black figure sitting in the spot I felled I was supposed to go, I realized how weird the situation was and sprinted all the way home. It was super strange and 6 years later I’ve never had anything at all similar happen. It started by meditating in a dark space on my porch.”—TheRealTrumanShow

4. Haunted By Cowboy Boots

“I grew up in my grandparent’s house, which was an extremely old house that used to operate as a store. It was later comverted to a house and then my grandparents bought it. One day my grandma and I are sitting in the kitchen, I’m reading a book and she was perusing a magazine, when we hear a sound loud and clear. The sound of cowboy boots walking around in the room above us. Very distinct footfalls and they couldn’t be confused with another sound, if you know what cowboy boots on hardwood floors sound like. My grandma and I look up at one another and I remember whispering to her “I thought we were the only ones home.” We were the only ones home at the time and I was never comfortable in that house by myself again, especially since my bedroom was upstairs next to the empty one with the footsteps.”—CountingScars94

Photo Credit: Pexels

3. This String of Overlaps

“My randomly assigned college roommate and I felt deeply connected the moment we met for the first time. We were inseparable right away as if we had never really been strangers.

Months later, we randomly find out that our mothers were pregnant at the exact same time in the same city in a country that neither of us are originally from. They were in that country for two completely separate and oddly specific reasons (so we’re not talking your ordinary beach vacay). She is from the US and I’m from a European country. Up until that point there had been no overlap in our lives except for the 9 months our pregnant mothers unknowingly lived on the same street in a foreign country. A couple of weeks prior to giving birth, they both moved back to their respective countries.

It’s been 10 years and she is still one of my best friends.

(And no, we don’t have the same dad so please don’t suggest that haha).”—parkavenueWHORE

2. The Invisibility Corner

“Once when I was a little kid (hadn’t started school yet), my siblings and I were playing hide and seek. I hid in one of the bedrooms between a bunk bed and the wall. It was a corner hiding spot a window on the wall the bed wasn’t on. I just sat in the corner waiting to be found, back to the wall, bed to my left, and wall with a window to my right. I didn’t have anything covering me, so if you looked in the corner, you’d see me, right? Apparently, not. I remember that multiple people (siblings and parents) had looked into the corner but never said they found me, so I just kept sitting there. Eventually, my parents called the police. They could not find me. I came out after a while confused as to why no one had found me and wondering why the police were here. To this day my family (me included) joke that I can turn invisible.”—Cmixoops

1. This Sweet Gesture

“I had a cat named Rocky. He liked going out and was always chased by the colony dogs but was never caught. Then one day he fell really sick and died a few days after that. Even the vet couldn’t treat him. Anyway, so I was holding him in my arms when he passed away (in my house). Not give seconds after his death, every single street dog in the colony came close to my house and started howling. Later I found out that all the pet dogs that Rocky had interacted with anytime in his life, had also howled. I seem to think that it was maybe a howl of respect that they could never catch him? Idk. All I know is that it was very bizzare. RIP Rocky. I will always love you.”—Fransisco_03

These experiences ranged from strange to sweet, but there’s no reasonable explanation for them. Do you have any such stories you’d like to share too? We’re always ears!

The post People Share Supernatural or Other-Worldly Experiences They’ve Had appeared first on UberFacts.