People Tell Their Stories About How They Attract Weird People

Some folks just attract them for some reason or another…I’m talking about weird people who always come into their lives for one reason or another.

It could be work-related, it might be friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, next-door neighbors, etc.

Some people just have that laser beam attached to them that makes weirdos come into their life.

Folks on AskReddit shared their stories.

1. Run away from this one.

“There was a guy I met online and we talked for a while. As far as I was concerned we were just friends. One day he said he had spent all night drawing something for me and said he hoped I liked it, and he sent a picture of me that he had taken from my Instagram and clearly put through an art filter to make it look like a sketch. It was so obvious.

I tried to gently point it out and he started going into the details of what kinds of pencils he used and all that. I ended up finding the exact filter he used and called him out and he freaked out on me saying I was ungrateful and untrustworthy and that I had cheated on my boyfriend at the time by being friends with him, and that even if I was the last girl on earth he wouldn’t be interested in me.

It was truly bizarre.”

2. Where should I start?

“Where to even start?

There’s the girl who faked pregnancies a few times a year for the better part of a decade, had an “astral baby” that she and her “medium” boyfriend could communicate with, and then finally got pregnant for real and immediately had the kid taken away from her.

There’s the guy who cancelled his Swedish citizenship to move to the Netherlands to be with a girl he had known for a few months, only for the relationship to end a few months later.

He is now back in Sweden and mooching off of a friend, and refusing to even try to get a job or study something out of fear of being seen as normal. He also can’t quite seem to grasp the concept of basic personal hygiene.

There’s the couple who were convinced they were getting visions of a war in Heaven and that the three of us were meant to write the new Bible.

There’s the girl who idolizes Southern American culture, self-identifies as a redneck, decorates her home with the confederate flag, enjoys dressing up as a cowboy and/or a pirate to work (she’s a bus driver), including once bringing a toy gun.”

3. Did you take it?

“During a trip to Home Depot, Santa Claus offered me a job as a marijuana farmer.”

4. Can’t believe you turned him down.

“A guy who sent me nudes of his ex gf and asked me to help him spread the nudes because she cheated on him.

And he asked me to be his new GF… No thank you.”

5. A sad situation.

“I have a fan at work. She is clearly mentally ill, probably schizophrenic. I am always nice to her, my Brother is schizophrenic and I would hope people still treat him like a person.

Then, it started going too far. She would call me at work. Dropped by all the time. Told me that I am her daughter. Forbade me from dating black men? I’m wondering if she’ll come find me once quarantine is over.”

6. At the gas station.

“Whooo boy, lots of weirdos when you work at a gas station.

When I was working at one I had this chronically drunk guy who came in all the time with his shirt buttoned up crooked if it was buttoned at all. His fingers were twisted at weird angles, looked like he punched a lot of things while drunk and never had them set right, they were a mess.

He always slurred about how none of the girls thought he was cute anymore. One day he gave me a cassette tape and said he was dedicating the song “Every Woman in the World” to me. You read that right, it was an Air Supply cassette tape. It was the early 2000’s and I felt like I’d been thrown back to the ’80’s. I told him I could not accept his gift and gave it back.”

7. Here come the weirdos.

“In high school the hardcore weirdos tended to find me. I remember a girl trapping me in a conversation where she told me (quite seriously, I might add) that she had an alternate personality living in her head, and he was Jeff the Killer. She was highly disgusted to find out I didn’t know about creepypasta and didn’t care to.

In college I fell in with a bunch of high-drama folks in my writing classes who called themselves empaths and would occasionally fight amongst themselves and say stuff like ‘I could feel Tanya ripping herself out of my face last night.’

They also talked about projecting themselves into the astral plane and gaining clairvoyance. Worst part was I wanted so badly to be like them that I talked like that for a bit, too.”

8. Total freak.

“Girl who left one of those hamster ball things on my doorstep (never told her my address). It was filled with literally hundreds of hand written notes, most of which had generic uplifting quotes, but some were direct quotes from me, from over six months ago.

Meaning from the day I met her, she was writing down and recording things I’d said. For anyone thinking this was actually romantic and sweet, we were in no way romantically involved, we just had a class together. Things got worse from there.”

9. Let’s hear it!

“It’s my time to shine! In my 28 years of living I have attracted:

– The LARPer who exclusively lived off of kraft singles, eggs, white bread, frozen cheese ravioli, and multiple gallons of milk. He also believed he was a demon? If the moon was full we couldn’t have sex because he may bite me and ravage me to death.

– The Vore Guy. I mentioned once how as a preteen I used to do Harry Potter RP on Livejournal and he took it as invitation to introduce me to his fantasy based vore RP. I cannot unsee some details he wrote.

– The guy who wore vampire fangs to our first and only date. Unprompted, unasked, just a pair of vampire fangs.

– The guy who wore nails poking out of his baseball cap, and a trench coat. His teeth were rotting out/black and he honestly looked like he rolled out of some backwater family in a Rob Zombie movie.”

10. Let’s go down the list…

“Weird people I’ve attracted include:

A woman (now in her 30s) who believed she had people from other universes living in her head. She also claimed to be a reincarnated elf who was married to Gohan. They had a baby together.

She no longer claims to either of these, but now believes she has DID, that Loki (who of course looks like Tom Hiddleston) spies on her in the shower, and that fairies lived in the yard her childhood home.

Her girlfriend who claimed to be aromantic, despite being in a relationship with her. She also had people from other universes living in her head. Both sets of people were dating. (I was friends with these women for eight years.)

A guy who claimed to be a literal galaxy. He went by “Prince 81″ because he was a prince, and also the Messier 81 galaxy.

His boyfriend who claimed to be Loki, a sheepdog, and a Time Lord. When they broke up, in true Tumblr Fashion™, both sides accused people of abuse.

A woman who believed that she had been abducted by aliens as a child.”

11. Won’t be ordering food from there anymore.

“Use to order food from this pizza place in town almost everyday. Had the same delivery guy for months. Was nice to the guy but never said more than pleasantries to him.

One day a woman dropped off the order instead. Told me the delivery guy was her BF. Causally brought up the fact that they thought I was cute and wanted to have a threesome. Might be the weirdest conversation of my life. Never ordered there again.”

12. Sounds like a catch.

“A guy sent me a drink from the opposite side of the bar.

10 minutes later, he got thrown out for pissing on the bar.

I get the good ones.”

13. Cult activity.

“Well we can start with the time I unknowingly was going to help start a cult. There was this guy around town everyone knew that considered himself “enlightened”. If you could get past his ego some of his perspectives were kinda interesting and he talked to trees and I was going through my festival, flow toys, drugs phase.

I got invited over to his house one day and there was a group of like 6 of us maybe and he started taking us through all this sort of ceremonial shit like smoking a peace pipe and going through all this explanation about how he chose us specifically and we were going to help him open “portals” around town.

At one point one of his other friends showed up and he made him leave saying his heart wasn’t open enough yet or something. Would love to know what I did to show him I was worthy. Ended with him making us put our hands in a tub of crystals and water and repeat some mantras or something with him.

Was kinda scared to leave while all this was happening honestly and noped out right after.”

14. The one that got away.

“I dated a girl (briefly) who I saw in the newspaper fours years later who was caught in a 20 person drug ring.”

15. Stay away from this one.

“Theres this guy I know that is a to-be serial killer/pedophile. He is 24.

Now, this guy may just be talking a “big game”, but hes just an idiot. I remember him saying something about kill his family cat. Along with that, he has no problem killing small animals, from what I know.

He got hired on as a camp counselor for small children. He tells us through text message that he was talking to this little girl about sacrificial rituals, and how they could sacrifice frogs and other small animals together.

He then started going into detail on how he thinks this little girl has a crush on him, and that he thinks he “enjoys it when they like him”. The wording he used at the time was the biggest red flag to us.

I asked my boss at the time about it, and explained what text messages my wife just recieved. He even told me to take 5 minutes from work right at that moment, and call the camp and tell them about the messages on my wife’s phone.

20 minutes later we get a message saying he was fired and he does not understand why. He also somehow figured out that it was us that told his work about it.

Apparently we ruined the relationship he had with the children. Yep. THAT is what he was worried about.

God, fuck him.”

As I always like to say, there are a lot of weirdos out there!

Now we want to hear your stories!

In the comments, tell us about some of the strange folks you’ve had to deal with in your life.

We’d love to hear from you!

The post People Tell Their Stories About How They Attract Weird People appeared first on UberFacts.

Strange Photos That Demand an Explanation

It seems like almost all of the time, our brains are processing the same kinds of information over and over. It’s just a passive thing, with data going in and out unnoticed. Then every once in a while you see something that makes you stop, and think “Wait, what?”

Then you spend the next couple of minutes, or days, or YEARS, trying to work out what exactly you just saw. If you don’t like those kinds of moments, turn back now, because this page is full of them.

Come, my friends, and be a sleuth with me and help me solve these perplexing cases. Because either these pictures prove that humans are geniuses… or complete morons.

10. It almost sounds like a comedy!

9. The Case of the Double Bike

8. The Mystery of Too Much Truck

7. The Ladder Capper

6. The Mystery of the Confused Ashtray

5. The Terror of the Lobster Mold

4. The Stall-Standoff

3. The Mysterious Miss Mable

2. The Peephole People

1. The Case of the Car that Was Too Tired

I may not be a big city detective, but I’m going to be looking into some of these for a while, because truth be told I have very little to do today.

You got any theories on any of these cases?

Tell us in the comments.

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Weird Signs That Will Make You Do a Double Take

When I first moved to a city, one of the unexpected challenges was reading the parking signs. It wasn’t that they were too small, or dirty, or that my vision was bad, they were just inscrutably complicated and at first glance seemed designed to ensure that I’d always be parked illegally. These days I’m a pro at deciphering those bad boys, but I still come across weird signs and symbols all over the place.

This collection features some great examples of the kinds of things that would make you do a double or triple-take as you’re making your way through the world.

15. Time is relative

14. Well, I’d hope so

13. Math is hard

12. “Hey honey, I incorporated how much I hate you into my truck logo”

11. Check yourself before you wreck yourself

10. Yes, I’ll have a Big

9. How do you make donuts sound unappealing?

8. Wait, what’s traf?

7. Perfect with wieners

6. I didn’t know we were doing this in groups now

5. If that’s just an empty freezer, I’m on board

4. “I don’t know, just make it brown so they don’t read it.”

3. No judgement whatsoever

2. I’m sorry, what?

1. Graphic design is my passion

I feel like one or two of those might be Photoshopped, but, truth is stranger than fiction, so, who knows.

What’s the strangest sign you’ve ever seen?

Tell us the tale in the comments below.

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Here are Some Signs With Attitude That Might Make You Laugh Today

There are tons of boring jobs out there. Somebody has to make and change the signs for all kinds of businesses, and you know that can’t exactly be a crazy adventure. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun with it – like the people on this list did.

These are twelve examples of signs and other pieces of writing with attitude that would probably make you stop and snort if you came across them in the wild.

12. The great white nope

11. No need to wine about it

10. Shave-shaming is gonna take off

9. The moral fabric of the universe

8. Don’t forget to wave

7. That’s a lot of words for “volunteer”

6. They tryin’ to start a cat fight?

5. Thanks for the tip

4. Sounds like a little much

3. Unexpectedly wholesome

2. I can’t tell if this is intentional or not

1. Signed, The Ministry of Silly Walks

Seems like signs in general are getting less formal and more playful as culture changes. Maybe it’s just a sign of the times.

…I’ll see myself out.

What’s the funniest sign you’ve ever seen?

Tell us about it in the comments.

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Ideas That Sounded Pretty Dumb But Were Pulled Off Perfectly

Do you ever get an idea that you think is totally awesoe but you don’t follow through with it because it sounds kind of silly?

Well, don’t listen to the doubters! You can pull it off!

These folks certainly did. Let’s see what they came up with.

1. That is great.

His and hers wedding cake from ATBGE

2. Read the fine print.

Conor McGregor’s suit of "Fuck you" from ATBGE

3. Very cool.

Grasshopper-Shaped locomotives stacked on top of each to create a diner in South Korean. from ATBGE

4. Hey, it worked!

Beaded hair portrait from ATBGE

5. Actually looks pretty cool.

this silica gel bag from ATBGE

6. My heart will go on.

This Titanic blow up slide. from ATBGE

7. Wear them with pride.

These Campbell’s tomato soup shoes I received for Christmas years ago. from ATBGE

8. Won’t miss this car on the street.

This car entirely colored with highlighters from mildlyinteresting

9. Nerd alert!

Brain winter hat. from pics

10. For all the hipsters out there.

This sweater from ATBGE

11. I might need to get this tattoo.

Lenny and Carl Yin Yang tattoo from ATBGE

12. Are you thirsty?

This cockroach cappuccino from ATBGE

Pretty cool, huh?

Have you ever created something like the items above that sounded wild but was pulled off?

Tell us all about it in the comments!

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People Share the Times They Lost Their Virginity to Escorts

Everyone has to lose their virginity someday…and in one way or another. Who are we to judge?

But you have to admit there is a certain stigma about not only going to an escort, but losing the big V Card to one.

These folks admitted that they did it and how they feel about it…

1. What happens in Vegas…

Photo Credit: Whisper

2. Wasn’t that great.

Photo Credit: Whisper

3. Probably shouldn’t tell her about it.

Photo Credit: Whisper

4. Not very enjoyable.

Photo Credit: Whisper

5. Wow. That’s quite an admission.

Photo Credit: Whisper

6. No shame in your game.

Photo Credit: Whisper

7. This one worked out for the best.

Photo Credit: Whisper

8. Did it for a reason.

Photo Credit: Whisper

9. This one has regrets.

Photo Credit: Whisper

10. Scared of the truth.

Photo Credit: Whisper

11. A new life motto.

Photo Credit: Whisper

I’m kind of surprised that those were a mixed bag of responses, to be honest with you.

What do you think? Do you think it’s morally wrong or weird for someone to lose their virginity to an escort?

Share your thoughts with us in the comments.

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Weird and Totally Random Memes for You to Enjoy

Once in a while, you just need random odd and bizarre photos in your life to give you a little break from reality.

Take the photos you’re about to see, for example. They’re just strange and peculiar for no reason, really. Just to make you ponder them and say….”hmmm, that sure is unusual.”

So let’s get weird!

1. Hang on for dear life.

Photo Credit: The Chive

2. Ready for your exam?

Photo Credit: The Chive

3. I would hang this in my house with pride.

Photo Credit: The Chive

4. That porta john wants to party!

Photo Credit: The Chive

5. Really spices up the yard.

Photo Credit: The Chive

6. Now, that is cool.

Photo Credit: The Chive

7. I hope this is a joke.

Photo Credit: The Chive

8. A nice way of breaking the news.

Photo Credit: The Chive

9. Can someone explain this?

Photo Credit: The Chive

10. A great idea!

Photo Credit: The Chive

11. Dad? Is that you?

Photo Credit: The Chive

12. Turned out pretty cool.

Photo Credit: The Chive

13. …And you blew it.

Photo Credit: The Chive

14. A mobile smorgasbord.

Photo Credit: The Chive

15. Don’t see that every year.

Photo Credit: The Chive

Weird to the max, am I right?

Do you have any really odd photos or posts or stories you’ve seen lately?

If so, do you mind sharing them with us in the comments? We really want to see them!

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Tumblr Users Roasted a Silly Loophole in How ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ Treated the Curse of Davy Jones

Davy Jones’ Locker, or the Curse of Davy Jones… you know about those right? For most, Pirates of the Caribbean is THE intro to the topic, and that’s why people on Tumblr are debating a certain scene from At World’s End far past the point of credulity.

Basically, the curse is such… Davy Jones had his heart removed and captains the Flying Dutchman, a ghost ship never able to make port because he can only return to dry land every ten years.

Well, in the scene in question, he’s standing on a sandbar in a bucket of seawater.

Image Credit: Tumblr

Really.

The discussion that follows discusses the reality of a sandbar.

Image Credit: Tumblr

And points out that he’s using multiple failsafes in order to not get blindsided by the curse.

Image Credit: Tumblr

Then, we get into what might be possible – or impossible – and just how far we might go.

Image Credit: Tumblr

I’m gonna guess no…. wet shoes doesn’t count.

What do you think Tumblr?

Image Credit: Tumblr

OMFG… I both love AND hate this conversation at the same time. So much ridiculousness.

And, of course, this thread ends with the perfect reference to the two idiot characters who, very likely, approved this entire idea in the first place…

Image Credit: Tumblr

Are we sure these two didn’t write this thread themselves? Hmmmm… food for thought.

Did you like how the movies treated Davy Jones? Do you think their interpretation is off?

Let’s talk centuries-old sea myths in the comments!

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A YouTuber Builds an Impressive “River Table” With Thousands of Colored Pencils

Nick Zammeti calls himself an “artist, woodturner, maker,” though I’d probably go with “crafting wizard.”

He handmakes everything from beaded-bowls to Baby Yodas to Borg cubes and shows off the creations on his youtube and instagram.

One of his recent projects went viral for its novel concept and satisfying build process.

Behold the Colored Pencil River Table!

“What’s a colored pencil river table?” you may ask.

It’s pure whimsical goodness, is what it is.

Nick encased thousands of colored pencils in a clear epoxy, and shaped it into a sort of suspended liquid design perfectly slotted into the table and spilling out onto the floor.

It’s the sort of thing most of us would never even think of, much less have the skills to pull off.

It’s dirty work, but by golly, it’s gotta be done.

Check out the full build video from his channel:

What’s the thing you’ve made that you’re proudest of? I’m sure there’s something, right? Right???

Let us know in the comments!

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People Share the Stupidest Ways They’ve Injured Themselves

We’ve all injured ourselves in pretty dumb ways at one point or another in our lives. Okay, it’s confession time: when I was 12, I broke my hand…punching my brother in the head. Let’s just say my parents were not thrilled.

I still haven’t lived that one down.

AskReddit users opened up and shared the dumbest ways they’ve ever been injured.

1. The grape incident.

“Threw a grape in the air to catch it in my mouth.

It fell on the floor and I bent down to pick it up and smashed my face into the window sill.”

2. Shower disaster.

“Showering at a hotel in a small stall with a slippery tile floor. Bent over to wash my feet, my butt hit the tap handle. I slipped, put my hands out to save myself and violently slammed the glass shower door open. I bashed my forehead and bridge of nose on the tile floor, had a major nose bleed and a giant goose egg on my forehead.

I don’t have bangs to cover that up. I thought I had escaped without the black eyes I expected after bashing my nose, but 2 days later I woke up with deep purple swollen eyelids. Luckily I had packed my seldom used makeup to cover the worst of it and I wore a hat in the day time. I’m still shocked the shower door didn’t shatter when it hit the wall.”

3. Ouch! That’s not good.

“I was in the 4th or 5th grade but I jumped down an entire flight of stairs.

Landed hard and hurt my foot. Walked on it for a day or two afterwards turned out I shattered my heel and broke my ankle.”

4. That is brutal.

“Tripped over a storage ottoman trying to jump over it all slick.

Got my toes wedged in the latch and broke my foot in 2 places.”

5. Time to tape the toes together.

“I live in Minnesota so I am used to kicking snow off my boots by slamming my toe part of the boot down on the ground.

Well, it was summer and I happened to get my running shoes absolutely covered in mud, so I instinctively slammed my toes down on the pavement and broke my toes.”

6. Right into the shin.

“Stabbed myself in the leg with a piece of metal.

It was really thin and tapered at the tip so when you swung it you would hear this really cool “Whoosh” sound.

I swung down way to hard and it went right into my shin. Bad times.”

7. That is odd.

“I got out of a long, hot shower and noticed a thread dangling off of my shirt, and when I tried to pull it out it just neatly sliced through several millimeters of my finger.

It was so minor I can hardly even call it an injury, but getting cut by a shirt is definitely the stupidest I’ve had.”

8. Funny but painful.

“Was helping husband replace the bathroom fan, so I was standing on the side of the bathtub.

I had this plastic hook glued to the shower wall to hang a loofa on. I went to get down and slid down the wall and hooked my butt cheek to the wall.

It hurt so bad but was also hilarious. I’m in my 40s and this happened recently.”

9. Getting old is no fun.

“I dropped something behind my couch, leaned over the back to pick it up and cracked a rib.

Was in pain for a week. Getting old is hell.”

10. Could’ve been worse.

“To try to get a cheap laugh out of my ex, I threw a hammer as hard as I could at a tree.

The hammer bounced off the tree, and I turned just in time for it to hit me in the small of my back.

Miracle I’m not paralyzed.”

11. An epic tale.

“When I was a kid, maybe 10 or so, I had recently discovered that the feet on my prosthetics could be unscrewed and moved into different positions, so I “borrowed” and Allen key from my dad and took it to school so I could unscrew my feet and show my friends at recess…non of them were as blown away by this as I’d hoped, pretty sure they were just used to this kind of thing by now haha.

Anyway, the bell went to tell us to go back to class and I very quickly tightened the feet back onto the prosthetics, put my shoes back on and started making my way back to class. As I was walking with a group of my classmates I started to notice my legs felt wobbly. I looked down and with every step my feet were turning outwards slightly. A normal person would have come to the conclusion “oh, I didn’t tighten the screws up enough”.

But not me, I jumped to the conclusion of “HOLY SHIT I CAN CONTROL MY FEET LIKE A ROBOT”. My excitement quickly turned to dread when I realised I don’t know how to control feet (been an amputee since I was a baby) and they kept turning until one was pointing sideways. Despite this I kept trying to walk and after a few more steps the foot just fell off and I managed to slam the now footless prosthetic down, which jarred my knee and hips and caused me to slip over and face plant into the corner of a cement mini wall (one of those waist high walls).

Being a self respecting 10yo I started bawling my eyes out, which caught the attention of the new teacher. It’s her first day and the only disabled student is in pieces, (the foot got thrown backwards when it fell off) with a bloodied nose, screaming like a banshee. She didn’t really know what to do since I couldn’t get back up, so she gave me some tissues for my nose and made a very confused call to the maintenance man asking if he knows how to fix prosthetics so I can get to the school nurse.”

12. That is messed up.

“Walked onto a manhole cover that was not placed on correctly.

Ended up in the hospital and had to to have 3 surgeries over 4 months.”

13. Not a good idea.

“My friend saw a jellyfish on the beach then kicked it. Like on purpose and knowing what it was.

They had to go to the ER.”

14. Watch out!

“Riding my bike home in 5th grade slowly alongside my walking friends.

Friend : Drew look where you’re going

Drew : naw dude I’m good at biking I can do it with my eyes closed

Friend : no really dude, look out

Drew : naw man, I’m good

Instantly crashes into a parked car, mess up my bike chain, have to drag my bike home in shame and explain to my mom why my knee and lip are bleeding.”

15. Walking from now on.

“Thought I could walk my dog on a leash while riding my bike. Dog saw a squirrel and yanked me off my bike. I broke a few bones in my hand.

Doc was like “what did you expect would happen?” “

16. Undone by a paper bag.

“Bending over to pick up a paper bag. A completely empty paper grocery store bag. It was standing upright, not even laying on the floor. I barely had to even bend down to pick it up.

Somehow this triggered a cosmic alignment between two vertebrae and nerve cluster because suddenly I fell to the floor in crippling pain, could not get my back straight and had to crawl to the living room so I could lay on the carpeted floor and try to stretch it out. I ended up fucked up like this for days and had to have physical therapy to slowly work out the pinched nerve. I was basically walking like Quasimodo for a couple weeks.

People would assume I was in an accident or lifting some boulder like Hercules or saving a child pinned under a car. But nope. I was undone by an empty paper bag.”

17. This person is definitely accident-prone.

“Wow, so many options.

Most recent. Working under my truck on a slight slope while on a creeper. Grabbed the undercarriage and yanked hard to slide to the back, forgot about slope and used excessive force. I probably would have wound up in the street, had all 250lbs of me not been decelerated by the top of my head hitting the differential. Woke up and it was darker and my neck was sore. I also had a horn like a unicorn (big lump). 2 weeks on concussion watch and wearing a hat to conceal the lump.

Most memorable. 8yo me finds a weird blue light bulb in the creek. Has what looks like mica inclusions in the glass and steel wool instead of a filament. 8yo me goes into the closet with a 9v battery and 2 wires to find out what it looks like lit. I hold it between index and middle finger and apply the wires. Eureka! Like a flash I realize. It’s a flash bulb. I am now blind, in a closet, 2 fingers melted to a hot flash bulb. Keystone Kops antics ensue.

Strangest. Talking to my sister on the landline in the kitchen. I have raccoon hands, always touching things, picking things up, etc while talking. At one point I wind up with a peanut butter cookie and an open flame. Even I don’t know how I got there, lol. Peanut butter cookie winds up on fire. I try to throw it into the sink, miss badly, cookie breaks up and flaming pieces fall on my bare feet. I learn there are a LOT of nerve endings on top of my feet. Screaming somehow communicates problem to sister, who I can hear laughing on the dropped handset.

Bonus. Forgot the cookie lesson regarding nerve endings. Barbecuing in a Weber kettle. In flip flops. I spread out the pile of briquettes once they were ready. Bottom vents were open and hot embers fell on my feet. Poured beer on my feet and increased the vocabulary of nearby children.”

18. Please don’t ever do that again.

“I was separating my eyelashes (because mascara) with a safety pin.

Stabbed myself in the eyeball.”

Wow. Those are pretty…dumb.

How about you? What’s the stupidest way you’ve ever injured yourself?

Don’t be shy! Tell us in the comments!

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