Category: Twitter

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Tweets That Should Serve as Serious Wake Up Calls for Guys

I remember times in my life where I have been beyond obnoxious because somewhere along the line it got planted in my head that if I liked a girl and she wasn’t interested, I just had to keep going until she was, somehow.

I cringe when I think back on those younger days now. It’s downright bizarre how little most guys in our society have been brought up to recognize the true thoughts and feelings of the women around them.

And little moments like these, while they certainly don’t fix it all, can serve as vital wake up calls if we’re willing to pay attention.

12. The kid question

Just stop doing this, across the board. There’s literally nothing good that can come of it.

11. The eye’s have it

“If your right eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it away from you.” – Matthew 5:29, World English Translation

10. Genuine question

Do you seriously mean to tell me I’m not the center of everyone’s universe?

9. Really digging in

Hey, fair enough.

8. Key insights

I remember the first time a female friend told me about this and I was horrified.

7. Basic empathy

Learn the difference between incidents and epidemics.

6. How rude

I think if I were graded on the scale of expected female friendliness I’d be thought of as the meanest a** who ever lived.

5. Pure logic

When I was a kid I got thirsty and screamed like I was being murdered for half an hour in a crowded mall.

4. Chairman of the bored

Look at that flex tho.

3. You shot your shot

This is exactly what I’m talking about.

2. Shifting the blame

Way to dad, dudes.

1. Down with the ship

Children first, sure, but why the rest of it?

Time to wake up and have a stretch, fellas.

What other observations would you add?

Tell us in the comments.

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Tricks That Might Actually Deserve the Title of Life Hack

I don’t when the term “life hack” first occurred.

I remember it starting to pop up around, I don’t know, 2013 maybe? It was a term that started getting applied to every asinine half-baked craft involving hot glue and old soda bottles that anyone could come up with.

But if you ask me, those are not the true hacks of life. The ideas in these posts? They’re the real deal. Let me show you how you can improve the following situations:

15. Being chased by an animal

Which animal doesn’t really matter, they all know the rules of the jungle.

14. Chip consumption

Don’t lie to yourself, you’re gonna eat them all.

13. Drinking efficiency

Now that’s what I call a well-balanced diet.

12. Job hunting

Just hope your friends are good actors.

11. Internships

You’d be surprised what you can get away with.

10. Shopping

Way to go?

9. Healthy cooking

Who on God’s earth decided we needed to start eating kale?

8. Socializing

They’re called universal for a reason, baby.

My dad apparently sneaks his remote into a local bar so he can change the channel when he doesn’t like what’s on. I’m equally embarrassed and impressed. from funny

7. Valentine’s day

You’re never alone if you’re forever haunted by your thoughts.

Life hack 100 from PewdiepieSubmissions

6. Accidental spills

Go from trashy to cultured in no time!

If you stain a shirt, you can simply outline the stain with a sharpie and give it a name. This will make it seam like you visit islands. from ShittyLifeProTips

5. Furniture assembly

A stand is a stand, man.

I figured out you don’t actually have to assemble these things. from funny

4. Landscaping and measurement

This is actually pretty clever. Take a thing of known height and compare.

My brother wanted to measure the trees in his yard. This is how did he did it. from funny

3. Disaster preparation

You don’t wanna be caught unawares.

Well if it works it works from memes

2. Kitchen decorating

It’s a hit at all the parties.

SLPT: If you’re broke and can’t afford coasters grab some flooring samples from Home Depot. They are free and come in a variety of colors and finishes! from ShittyLifeProTips

1. Dating

Good luck.

SLPT (Please Remove If Repost) from ShittyLifeProTips

With those kinds of tips, you should be out hacking away at your life in no time!

What other lifehacks do you suggest?

Share them with us in the comments.

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When a Scammer Got Between a Woman and Her PS5, She Got Even

We are all looking for good internet deals, especially with things being so expensive or hard to get.

And we all know that if a deal seems too good to be true, then it probably is.

But sometimes people need a life-experience reminder to be cautious about what they buy over the internet.

It doesn’t usually work out as well as it did for artist Brittany Everette.

It all started when she couldn’t find a PS5 for sale–and she really wanted one.

So she decided to try an after-market deal she found through Twitter.

Everything seemed legit, so Brittany paid half of the price up front, and then waited anxiously for her new system to arrive.

There were red flags almost immediately.

They had agreed she would pay the rest on arrival, but he needed it sooner.

The sick kid angle seems like the oldest trick in the book, but Brittany has a good heart and decided to trust him.

He just had to send her concrete evidence that he’d mailed the gaming system.

He agreed, and again, it seemed legit, so she helped him out and paid the other half.

As soon as he had her money, though, he blocked her on Twitter and deleted her from his phone.

She was devastated and no one could help. Not her bank, not Apple Pay.

Brittany had made a terrible error in judgment, and she was down, but she wasn’t out.

Not yet.

She tried to contact him again, and this time she gave him an ultimatum.

Still, he ignored her.

So what could she do, but come up with a plan to torment him?

He even kept changing his username which seems like a lot of work, especially if you’re going to scam more than one person.

Clearly the guy wasn’t a professional.

Armed with that knowledge, Detective Brittany was on the case.

Remember the saying “Criminals are stupid”? Well, this fella didn’t cover his tracks very well.

Brittany even found his email address.

Then he really slipped up.

Whoops. Wrong move, buddy. Should’ve just gone dark.
Instead of filing a police report, she made up a law firm called PA & P Legal.

And then she contacted every email address she had found, including those belonging to his family members.

While Brittany will admit that her email was obviously fake, it’s a lot more official and professional sounding than the fraudulent voicemails I get these days.

Anyway, she turned off her phone and went to relax for awhile–until her scammer started trying to contact her husband.

Then the story takes quite a turn. The fiancée was not at all amused.

Mr. Con Man reached out, full of apologies and “woe is me.”

It seemed he was full of apologies, but not much else. He still “didn’t have” Brittany’s money.

So she tattled on him to his fiancée.

TL;DR: She warned him. And she got her money back.

Some commenters suggested she should have asked for MORE money, but she replied that then she would have been just as bad as he was, and although she still wanted a PS5, she was happy to just get her money back.

When asked what she learned from the experience, she said:

that ima just have to wait until 2025 for this gaming system bc I’m never buying from a reseller again 😂😂😂

The first moral of the story is, don’t try to take advantage of people.

The second moral of the story is, don’t settle for being taken advantage of.

Can you believe this crazy story? Would you have had the patience to con the guy into giving you your money back? Tell us in the comments!

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Tweets About Autocorrect That Are Ducking Perfect

Autocorrect is a mechanism in our phones and other devices that’s supposed to save us from our own clumsiness and lack so spelling skills so we don’t look like idiots in our textual correspondence.

And yet, more often than not, it feels like they actually cause the idiocy to occur.

Would we be better or worse off without it?

Let’s let Twitter decide.

15. Mighty mighty

That changes quite a bit.

14. Let them eat cake!

Gather the flour and begin the revolution.

13. Wait, what?

A weird but effective threat.

12. Steak out

Panic is the best sauce.

11. Can’t do anything right

It’s just predicting the future at this point.

10.  Friar tuck

Everything is on fire now.

9. Conspiracy theorist

Oh no, not you too.

8. Work ahead

There’s still so much to do.

7. Busting out

Oh, do tell.

6. The age limit

It’s like a child lock but in reverse.

5. Absolute bloodbath

I’m calling the FBI immediately.

4. A 12 pack

Nobody works out that much.

3. The big apple

I need a thing I can pet, not park.

2. Holiday spirit

Yeah, it me.

1. Absolute maniac

Maybe your phone has been overtaken by the spirit of The Joker and you just don’t know it yet.

Don’t know if autocorrect is a force for good in this crazy world or a force for evil. Maybe chaos.

One thing’s for sure – it’s given us no shortage of jokes.

Maybe that was the true intent of the software all along…

Is autocorrect worth having or not?

Tell us your opinion in the comments.

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Posts That Are Aggravatingly and Technically Correct

There are truths and then there are technical truths.

Things that you can’t deny, though every fiber of your being wants to, because they’re just too pedantic to warrant acknowledgement.

And yet, you gotta give it up. Here are ten posts that are gloriously, technically true.

10. T H I N K

Being correct while missing the entire spirit of the post, attaboy.

9. Layer by layer

He’s out of line, but he’s right.

8. You gotta testify!

There’s a theatre in my hometown called The New Theatre.
It’s been around for more than 50 years.

7. Numbers don’t lie

This is a great example of why statistics without context can be less than useless.

6. The pocket conspiracy

Has someone informed Jim Gaffigan of this?

5. Bullet time

I’ve seen this posted so many times and like…where are you getting that number from?

4. Summon the Grouch

What am I, chopped liver? Also I think I’m standing on some chopped liver.

3. Rock and roll

That’s gonna be the name of my Rush cover band.

https://starrthepj.tumblr.com/post/146515179163/ewebie-perchu-razzliox-perchu-what

2. Support the cause

This is what you get for leaving your prompts so open ended.

https://rogha.tumblr.com/post/141435187887/laneybugawesomeness-its-technically-true

1. Absolutely brutal

The game has been changed forever.

https://young-calamitous.tumblr.com/post/77993976938

Those are some good, technically correct posts. But we’re done now. Or rather, we’ll be done in 41 words. Because I’m still typing, and there are a couple more lines to go.

What’s the best technically correct thing you’ve encountered lately? Was it said by you or by someone else?

Tell us in the comments.

Ok we’re actually done…now.

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Tweets That Prove Autocorrect Can Drive You Insane

Autocorrect has been around for as long as smartphones.

It was initially developed by Ken Kocienda and his team at Apple for their operating system Project Purple, which would come to fruition as the first iPhone.

Said Kocienda, “It wasn’t easy to figure out how software might come to our rescue and how much our algorithms should be allowed to make suggestions or intervene to fix typing mistakes. I wrote the code for iPhone autocorrection based on an analysis of the words we type most commonly, the frequency of words relative to others, and the errors we’re most likely to make on a touchscreen keyboard.”

In other words, they knew typing with your thumbs was gonna end in a bunch of nonsense, and they tried to make a digital assistant to help you out.

But how well did it work? Let’s let Twitter decide.

15. All blown up

Ain’t it the truth.

14. Captain Caps

Maybe it’s smarter than we give it credit for.

13. How the tables have turned

WOULD YOU JUST MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

12. Contractions and contradictions

What is so hard to understand about this?

11. Not a morning person

You get me. Dawn is death.

10. Eating my feelings

Come on, leave me alone.

9. In the mix

Well that just sounds WAY more fun.

8. Carpe diem

It’s gonna be a great time.

7. Good for thought

Robots don’t eat, that’s why they suck so bad.

6. Wine about it

Maybe it thought you meant “whine and die.”

5. Spell it out

Why must you let me suffer when you know full well what I need?

4. Word of the day

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

3. Soon and very soon

The suspense is killing me.

2. Dying slowly

Hey, it’s really the best we can hope for.

1. In your dreams

We all have ’em.

I think those are pretty ducking great.

Is autocorrect more helpful or hurtful?

Give us your opinion in the comments.

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An ER Doctor Went Viral for Pointing Out That Fast Food Is All Some People Can Afford

There’s no question that everything, including food, keeps getting more and more expensive.

Add in a food desert, and people are paying crazy prices for fresh food the rest of us take for granted.

So when a doctor tweeted about the relative costs of fast food compared to fresh food, her thread went viral, with lots of people weighing in on both sides.

Emily Porter is an ER doctor and cancer survivor living in Austin, Texas.

When she tweeted about the cost of food, she was urging empathy and asking people not to judge others, but she had to know it was going to be controversial:

A lot of Twitter users doubted that a medical doctor would eat McDonald’s for lunch, as though they don’t rack up thousands in debt from medical school, and as though they don’t crave fast food like other humans.

But Dr. Porter took the time to explain her background:

Not only did she grow up poor, but she worked on the front lines of poverty, watching others in her community purchase what they could afford at a fast food restaurant.

She even took the time to explain the food desert in her area, and the fact that people basically only shop at the dollar store.

The responses to her tweet ran the gamut. Some came with empathy and agreement, others did not.

Apparently some even suggested that the poor should invest in Blue Apron meals, which surprised me, because meal kits tend to be pricey. They definitely cost more than McDonald’s.

Here was Dr. Porter’s response:

But that is the point of such a tweet–starting a conversation that needs to be had.

Some people argued that fast food eaters were lazy:

To which others replied, it’s not just about the money. It’s about the cost of time and labor too.

Some people even argued that the poor should buy a rotisserie chicken at Sam’s Club or Costco.

Few pointed out that those are loaded with sodium, but some people did point out the absolute tone-deafness of such a suggestion.

Bored Panda said that a major argument, that cooking healthy food is cheaper, isn’t necessarily true.

And unlike Twitter users, they brought the receipts:

According to the results of a meta-analysis published in 2013 in BMJ Open, a healthier diet costs $1.48 more a day, which would add up to $540.20 a year, and for a family of four, the amount would equal to $2,160.80.

The article did note that a UK study disagrees with this assessment, so maybe it’s regional. The UK is very different from the US in a lot of ways, maybe it would generally be less expensive to eat healthier in the UK and not in the US.

A lot of people suggested eating beans.

Many users, however, completely agreed with Dr. Porter’s assessment of the cost of eating.

And they pointed out a lot of things that it’s easy to overlook from a privileged point-of-view.

Like the cost of time…

…the fact that just because something is possible, doesn’t mean everyone has the ability to make it work…

…and the simple fact that fast food is easier to chew than, say, a carrot.

It’s safe to say that there are no easy answers to this question, but one thing is for sure: it’s a frustrating situation that needs to improve.

What do you think? Does Dr. Porter have a point? Is this system set up to be broken? Let us know in the comments.

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Tweets That Are Super Duper Neat

Tweets sure can be neat. The kind of neat that makes you stop and take notice. And then take the tweet, and spread it around. Because you need to spread the neat joy, at any cost.

The tweets that stay with you after a long hard day of looking at internet stuff – those are the ones worth savoring. The ones worth thinking about. The ones worth a moment of appreciation.

Such are the tweets in this list. Come. Let our tweet experience begin.

12. Spill that tea

We’re just causing trouble from overseas all the time for those folks.

11. The coupled life

The way we do it is badly. Everybody resents it on some level, that’s just life.

10. I’m yours

It’s like being served a legal document, once you’ve touched it you’re officially responsible.

9. Blowing over

We were so young. So naive. So very stupid.

8. Ball is life

This is only because the guys who would say “this song was on Pro Skater” are now too old to be going to house parties.

7. The long distance friendship

We live in the same state and could totally meet up, we just don’t.

6. Try, try again

Once again, Taco Bell comes through as my one true source of happiness and inspiration.

5. Watching like a hawk

I simply will not contribute to this cultural disrespect.

4. Not my vibe

I think a little more money might just fix that up, though.

3. It looks like…

This smug idiot was always just slowing everything down.

2. The simulation machine

It’s just what our brains are designed to do, and they’re not gonna be stopped by reason.

1. Real struggles

At least in a divorce you have some sense of who the heck you are.

Another fine serving of Tweets. Come back soon for more, won’t you?

Who are your favorite Twitter people?

Tell us in the comments.

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Tweets That Will Make You Say “Wait, What?!?!”

Almost everybody loves a good tweet. Especially when that single tweet makes you do a double take. Goes in a direction you weren’t expecting. Subverts all you’ve ever known and replaces it with a paradigm shift the likes of which your feed has never seen.

That’s what these tweets are like. I think. I’m not entirely sure what “paradigm” actually means.

15. Water under the bridge

Public health is just so important, you guys.

14. I’m on board

Alright nana, settle down now.

13. On the other hand

If you read too fast you might just miss it whizzing by.

12. Something’s in the air

Can you paint with all the colors of this burn?

11. No bones about it

Yeah yeah, I know my rights.

10. Give it a rest

It’s really vital to have goals you can stick to.

9. Where’s the fire?

Bosses are just so up tight, am I right?

8. Chill

We have some kind of legal confidentiality between us, yeah?

7. Oh deer me

There are two wolves inside you. They are both gonna eat ya.

6. Now hear this

The next Chucky movie is gonna be weird.

5. Merry men

The hood giveth and the hood taketh away.

4. Buried deep

We kinda brought…all of this on ourselves.

3. Never ever

You say that like you’ve been tricked before.

2. Getting in

This is truly my big break!

1. End of sentence

Period.

Now if you scroll back up and look at those again you’ll have to do second second takes and that’s like four takes for the price of one so what are you waiting for?

Who are the funniest people on Twitter right now?

Tell us your opinion in the comments.

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A Kid’s Poem About Online School Went Viral Because It Is Too Real

It’s been a rough year for most of us in a lot of ways.

But there has been comfort in the fact that we were all going through it together–the staying in doors, the wearing masks, the endless meetings on Zoom.

So when one 7-year-old wrote a poem expressing his dissatisfaction with online schooling, literally everyone on Twitter ecstatically agreed.

The child’s babysitter Julia posted the anti ode online last year and instantly went viral.

Here’s the text…

Boring online school
Today is just another day
in a long line of days
staring at a dumb screen
Just boring boring
online school that’s the
only thing that did happen
it’s the only thing that is
happening that’s the only
thing that will happen

So many people commented their concern about the boy that his baby sitter felt compelled to elaborate that he wasn’t depressed or in danger.

She went on to explain that this was an assignment for school, and I personally loved that she described him as snarky, because it feels like something I would have done in college, rather than first grade.

Many of the more literary minded Twitter users were impressed with the artistic nature of the poem.

I’m guessing they were English majors like I was.

Others took the poem and played with it, putting their own spin on the form, such as this one, which distilled the poem down into one perfect Haiku that encapsulates 2020.

While others cleverly compared it to well known classics:

And still others compared it to funny things other children have done, both in the distant past:

And more recently:

The poem evoked a lot of visceral feelings about life amid the pandemic.

It raised debate over the merits of online schooling and the fact that kids generally feel just as bored sitting in a desk in person.

But as someone who loves working from home, and at the same time despises the endless hours of meetings, I felt this poem in the very depths of my being.

As one user expressed so clearly:

What do you think? Did his poem make you feel seen, or just make you a little bit sad for kids these days?

Let us know in the comments.

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