Category: tweets

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People Share The Biggest Red Flags They’ve Ever Ignored

Red flags are everywhere. Warning us that the person we’re getting involved with is bad news, no good, turn around, 0/10 do not attempt.

And yet, we so often ignore them, like Twitter user @objsucks did:

She’s not alone of course. Check out these other doozies.

13. A really bad start

Ah. So…racism then. Just…plain old racism.

12. Rap it up

I had a somewhat similar experience with a drunk friend I was driving home once, but the one getting burned was me.

11. Power trip

And *that* alone should disqualify you from any governmental position ever for the rest of your life.

10. A single chocolate

This has got some serious Bates Motel energy.

9. The sickness

That’s awful, I hope he got the help he needed.

8. Number one problem

Once I can understand as an embarrassing but forgivable incident – but REGULARLY?

7. Scoot on out

Wait, that’s a thing?

6. Egg me on

Gross.

5. Disney adult

The most tragical place on earth.

4. Watch out

Woof, a double-whammy.

3. Help yourself

Imagine being so selfish you won’t give your partner water.

2. Bless up

Oh, no.

1. Serious inquiries only

Is that your final answer?

If you see any of this: run.

What red flags have you ignored?

Tell us in the comments.

The post People Share The Biggest Red Flags They’ve Ever Ignored appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Shared the Wild Ways Their Grandparents Met

I don’t have many crazy “how we met” stories from my relationships. With maybe one notable exception, it’s pretty much just been “I do theatre and she does theatre so we met doing theatre.”

I wish I had some more memorable romantic anecdote to pull, like the one in this tweet:

Or the ones in the myriad of replies that followed:

10. So driven

Next stop, marriage.

9. Take me home tonight

Well, I guess that’s that.

8. Lap it up

When I do that I just get slapped but OK.

7. Look out for her

Buddy you better look out for you.

6. Dude had game

Dang.

5. Wait, how?

Don’t hate the player.

4. Do the math

I, too, am a little bit lost.

3. Breakdown break ups

Driving in cars with boys.

2. Grandpa Chet

Peace out, ya’ll.

1. I’m sorry?

She’s quite the wing lady.

I guess you never know where or how love might find you!

Do you know any cool real-life “how we met” stories?

Tell us in the comments.

The post People Shared the Wild Ways Their Grandparents Met appeared first on UberFacts.

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Tweets That You Really Don’t Wanna Miss

I don’t know how it happened, honestly, but somehow I managed to lock myself out of my Twitter account recently.

I can’t remember what series of events led to this self-sabotage. I’d changed the password, I’d forgotten it, I’d let Chrome pick a strong password for me but then I forgot to tell Chrome not to forget so we both forgot how to remember?

In any case, I found myself casually clicking over to Twitter before realizing “Oh man, this is gonna be like a whole thing,” but it’s a fight I fought. Why? Because good tweets are worth it, by gum. They’re worth it.

10. Catch up

This is a really weird version of the “evolution of man” diagram.

9. An ally of the light

Neat-o, which dialogue option do I choose for student debt relief?

8. Keep it up!

Speaking of which…

7. A horse of a different color

Samwise carries Frodo up the mountain (colorized.)

6. Analyze that

We have the same thing we just call them pundits now.

5. Prepare thyself

There’s really not a reason for everything.

4. Fun and games

I was aware of that, thank you.

3. The power grid

You mean a buff pancake?

2. TP or not TP

It’s my number two priority.

1. Look sharp

But what if I’m neither one?

Good thing I got my password debacle worked out. Can you imagine what my life would be like right now had I missed those bangers? Unthinkable.

Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter?

Tell us in the comments.

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People Discuss Pop-Culture Revelations You’ll Never Want to Unlearn

You know that moment when you’re watching one of your favorite movies and something new about it just clicks in your head? It’s pretty fun. It can also make you feel slightly stupid if you figure you should have realized it earlier.

Probably the best thing to do with those feelings is to take to Twitter and share your epiphanies with the world.

10. The Backstreet Boys

Everybody (Backstreet’s Back) peaked at number 4 on the American Billboard charts in 1998.

9. American Gothic

Additionally, they were modeled after the artist’s sister and his dentist.

8. Pilot episodes

The pilot of the show Lost was the most expensive ever made up to that point, costing an estimated $14 million.

7. Who Let the Dogs Out

There’s an entire documentary about this song.

6. Lord of the Rings

Ian McKellen has a net worth of around $50 million.

5. Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves

The phrase is “Open Sesame” in Antoine Galland’s version of One Thousand and One Nights.

4. The Lion King

James Earl Jones was the only actor to reprise his role in the “live action” 2019 remake.

3. Disney Cartoons

The character’s first animated appearance was in 1932.

2. The Lion King (again)

While the story similarities are undeniable, people also point to the more troubling apparent rip off elements from a Japanese series called Kimba.

1. Chuck E Cheese

The bizarre pizza chain filed for bankruptcy in 2020.

And with that knowledge in our minds, we can all go forth, forever changed.

What did you realize when you were today years old?

Tell us in the comments.

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15 Random Tweets Packed With Laughs

Hey, there!

It’s time for some posts! Some posts with the most!

The most what, you may ask? I don’t know, I may answer! Just stuff! Laughs! Words! Enjoyment!

Why, these posts have so much most in them that I don’t think my own intro could inject any more mostly most into them, so I’m gonna stop writing it now and just get to the posts.

Posts!

15. The food paradox

I doubt, therefore I am.

14. Squatch and talk

One of the greats, Hedberg.

13. Read between the lines

Nothing we can do about it now, it’s in the cards.

12. Stick with it

Repeat process for infinite stick. Stick win every time.

11. Cat got your tongue?

This feels like the opposite of all the DARE program I had to take as a kid.

10. Textbook case

Here’s hoping they don’t throw the book at him.

9. Herbicide

Hey ScienceAlert, are you alright? Do you need to talk maybe?

8. Putting on a front

Even the horse looks like he’s losing his will to live.

7. What a wonderful phrase

It just clicked for me: Timon and Pumbaa aren’t just carefree sidekicks, they’re stone cold nihilists.

6. Have your cake and pan it too

This is me pretty much every night.

5. Too expensive

I’m focused on “live” at this point, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

4. My eyes are up here

No thank you please.

https://arrowswing.tumblr.com/post/179418321226/florakinesis-sskia-u-can-just-tell-jake

3. Tea for two

Yeah, I don’t know if I would advise that.

https://avenginginsanity.tumblr.com/post/630722863549284352/baelor-i-hate-making-tea-cuz-i-feel-bad-for

2. Going up?

There’s no knowing where we’re going.

https://highclass-shit.tumblr.com/post/98477800847/behind-a-wall-of-illusion-kenweys-this

1. True grit

These lyrics have played in my mind over and over again.

https://angerydj.tumblr.com/post/187441093135/mr-sandman-sand-me-a-man-make-him-so-sandy-the

Man. Those sure are some posts with the most. So much so that I’m full.

Who are your favorite funny people to follow on the internet?

Tell us in the comments.

The post 15 Random Tweets Packed With Laughs appeared first on UberFacts.

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Hysterical Tweets That Are Right up Your Alley

I’ve been watching you and I have something for you that I think you’re really going to love…

Just hear me out, okay?

What would you think about…SOME HYSTERICAL TWEETS!

Did I just see you smile? Yes! I knew you’d be on board with this incredible idea that I cooked up! You’re welcome, by the way…

Okay, let’s knock off the chit chat and get busy with some laughter. Start now!

1. Things went downhill pretty quickly.

This is a weekly ritual for many people.

2. That’s the only reason I can possibly think of…

I mean, she must’ve missed that message, right?

3. Over and out.

Who’s in it for the long haul out there?

4. I’m with you!

They’ll still probably zap you with their ray guns.

5. What am I looking at here?

I bet that throws a lot of people off.

6. Here they come again…

This is pretty brilliant, by the way.

7. I’d love to meet her!

She sounds absolutely delightful, doesn’t she?

8. That laundry is really living its best life.

Good for you!

9. I think only hipsters are gonna get this reference.

Am I right about that?

10. Thanks to both of them.

What would we do without them?!?!

11. Yes, I think they use bobby pins.

That makes sense, right?

12. That’s always a big moment.

You did it again!

13. I think a lot of people feel this way.

Well, at least you’re honest about it.

What’s the absolute funniest tweet that you’ve seen lately that really made you LOL?

Well, don’t hog it!

Share that good stuff with us in the comments. Thanks!

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Are These Things “Cheap” or Just “Illegal?” People Describe Their Cheapest Achievements.

Twitter user Rubba Band Grant caused a stir on Twitter when he mused out loud about the “cheapest” thing he’d ever done:

As a lot of people were eager to point out, that’s not so much “being cheap” as it is just “stealing tires.” Not that we’re snitches here. We’re gonna give Grant the benefit of the doubt and assume this was made up for entertainment purposes only. And we’ll extend that benefit toward all the Twitter replies that followed which had…dubious legality.

Here’s a few ways people apparently skirt the system to save some cash.

10. Water, water everywhere

This is a perfect example of how you can be clearly deceitful without technically lying.

9. Up close and personal

If you’ve got those kinds of photoshop skills *on a phone* then I’ve got mad respect.

8. Pole vaulting

Oh my God…I’m so tempted…

7. Inspired / expired

You’d think their barcode scanners would be smarter than that.

6. The switch

Well done.

5. What a tool

Walmart will pretty much take anything back, they don’t care.

4. Book ’em

Pretty hard to feel sympathy for either Amazon or the textbook industry.

3. Signed, sealed, delivered

You gotta wonder how often people do this.

2. Free means free!

Seems kind of sad and ridiculous that they wouldn’t just give their employees a free sandwich on their lunch break anyway.

1. Since delivert

Didn’t they have some way to like, check your order though?

We’re not saying we endorse any of these methods. We’re not saying we don’t, either. WE AIN’T SAYIN’ NOTHIN’, YA HEAR?

Do you have a method like this?

Tell us in the comments. We won’t judge.

The post Are These Things “Cheap” or Just “Illegal?” People Describe Their Cheapest Achievements. appeared first on UberFacts.

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Very Questionable Ways People “Saved Money”

Almost everybody I know is looking for ways to save a buck here and there. But some of us go to extremes.

Like Rubba Band Grant on Twitter here:

Now, we’re pretty sure that’s just theft…though maybe he was joking? Whatever, we’re not the cops. We’re just invested weirdos who went on to scroll endlessly through the replies and find a bunch of other surprising ways that people *ahem* saved money.

Some of them truly were just “being cheap,” but others…well, again. We’re not the cops.

So let’s just look at the tweets.

10. You are banned

This is like a really low key sequel to Ocean’s 11.

9. Stay on target

Um…yeah this is just theft. Like, three times over.

8. Peak Philly

I wish I had those kinds of skills.

7. The tube

How devilishly clever.

6. Complimentary

Eh, who’s gonna know?

5. Stacks on stacks

I’m sure you looked lovely.

4. Phoney business

If I’m reading this right, I’m pretty sure you’re just describing blackmail.

3. I scream

Hope nobody got fired.

2. Free 99

Again, sure hope nobody got fired.

1. Punching up

That’s a short con I can get behind.

So remember, if you gotta save money, maybe try to like…avoid jail in the process.

Do you have a story like this?

Tell us in the comments.

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Tweets That Really Deserve to be Preserved

Did you know that the Library of Congress used to archive every tweet ever sent?

Everything inane, everything hilarious, everything historic, everything Presidential, everything that fit all four of those categories. It’s really pretty mind-boggling to think about.

In fact their minds might have gotten just a little bit too boggled, because they became more selective about what they decided to archive starting in 2017.

From that point on, you might be gettin’ into the great library, and ya might not. The thing is, there are something like 350,000 new Tweets sent out every single minute, and continuing to archive that compounding mass just became too big of a task.

However, I’d like to nominate these particular tweets for preservation. For us. For our future.

14. Trouble in the water

Dolphins are the jocks of the ocean.

13. Money talks

Ok but can you explain shorting to me?

12. Marching on

Colbert has always been ahead of his time.

11. Crashing

Life imitates art imitating life.

10. Meme queen

Ah the good old days.

9. Taking stock

Education subverted.

8. It’s magic

This seems like what their strategy has been.

 

7. Dog on the run

Is he in the witness protection program?

6. Life hack

Work smarter, not harder.

5. It’s in the bag

My hubris has been my undoing.

4. Quiet down

You know what you did.

3. Don’t question it

Our butts have something to say.

2. Spell it out

This is the future that liberals want.

1. All an act

Thank you for coming to my one woman show.

Just perfect. They need to be passed down to posterity. Get on it, Congress.

What Twitter account would you like preserved forever?

Tell us in the comments.

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Tweets For People Who Are Always Late

I believed that once I started working from home, and most everyone else did too, that things would be better for me in one important way.

Once ALL meetings went to video chat, and all assignments were just pinged back and forth between apartments, I thought to myself “At least I’ll never be late now.”

What a fool I was.

Somehow I have managed to be late for things that have involved nothing more than walking the ten feet from my bedroom to my desk. SOMEHOW I’ve even managed to mess up the timing when I’m already AT my desk and I just forgot to open up the link in time. It’s a sad state of affairs. But I know I’m not alone, because I’ve got a lot of fellow “always lates” on Twitter to commiserate with.

10. Common courtesy

Can’t you see that I’m terrified and full of misdirected rage?

9. Sublime connections

And then you get that rush of a feeling like “Maybe we’ll cancel.”

8. Identity crisis

You can accuse me of many things, but of this my hands are clean.

7. Short sighted

It’s true, that’s just science.

6. Double jeopardy

In for a dime, in for a dollar.

5. Slow your roll

That is a straight up power move right there.

4. Let ’em loose

You’d be shocked how quickly I can get on a high horse.

3. Fool me once, shame on you

Fool me thirty seven times, why are we even still friends?

2. The towel game

This is an ancient ritual which mustn’t be disturbed.

1. Savor it

It’s the little things.

 

I guess there’s just no hope for me and my lateness.

But what about you? Can you actually manage to get places on time? If so, how?

Tell us your secrets in the comments.

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