Category: tweets

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Tweets That Should Serve as Serious Wake Up Calls for Guys

I remember times in my life where I have been beyond obnoxious because somewhere along the line it got planted in my head that if I liked a girl and she wasn’t interested, I just had to keep going until she was, somehow.

I cringe when I think back on those younger days now. It’s downright bizarre how little most guys in our society have been brought up to recognize the true thoughts and feelings of the women around them.

And little moments like these, while they certainly don’t fix it all, can serve as vital wake up calls if we’re willing to pay attention.

12. The kid question

Just stop doing this, across the board. There’s literally nothing good that can come of it.

11. The eye’s have it

“If your right eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it away from you.” – Matthew 5:29, World English Translation

10. Genuine question

Do you seriously mean to tell me I’m not the center of everyone’s universe?

9. Really digging in

Hey, fair enough.

8. Key insights

I remember the first time a female friend told me about this and I was horrified.

7. Basic empathy

Learn the difference between incidents and epidemics.

6. How rude

I think if I were graded on the scale of expected female friendliness I’d be thought of as the meanest a** who ever lived.

5. Pure logic

When I was a kid I got thirsty and screamed like I was being murdered for half an hour in a crowded mall.

4. Chairman of the bored

Look at that flex tho.

3. You shot your shot

This is exactly what I’m talking about.

2. Shifting the blame

Way to dad, dudes.

1. Down with the ship

Children first, sure, but why the rest of it?

Time to wake up and have a stretch, fellas.

What other observations would you add?

Tell us in the comments.

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Tweets About Autocorrect That Are Ducking Perfect

Autocorrect is a mechanism in our phones and other devices that’s supposed to save us from our own clumsiness and lack so spelling skills so we don’t look like idiots in our textual correspondence.

And yet, more often than not, it feels like they actually cause the idiocy to occur.

Would we be better or worse off without it?

Let’s let Twitter decide.

15. Mighty mighty

That changes quite a bit.

14. Let them eat cake!

Gather the flour and begin the revolution.

13. Wait, what?

A weird but effective threat.

12. Steak out

Panic is the best sauce.

11. Can’t do anything right

It’s just predicting the future at this point.

10.  Friar tuck

Everything is on fire now.

9. Conspiracy theorist

Oh no, not you too.

8. Work ahead

There’s still so much to do.

7. Busting out

Oh, do tell.

6. The age limit

It’s like a child lock but in reverse.

5. Absolute bloodbath

I’m calling the FBI immediately.

4. A 12 pack

Nobody works out that much.

3. The big apple

I need a thing I can pet, not park.

2. Holiday spirit

Yeah, it me.

1. Absolute maniac

Maybe your phone has been overtaken by the spirit of The Joker and you just don’t know it yet.

Don’t know if autocorrect is a force for good in this crazy world or a force for evil. Maybe chaos.

One thing’s for sure – it’s given us no shortage of jokes.

Maybe that was the true intent of the software all along…

Is autocorrect worth having or not?

Tell us your opinion in the comments.

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Posts That Are Aggravatingly and Technically Correct

There are truths and then there are technical truths.

Things that you can’t deny, though every fiber of your being wants to, because they’re just too pedantic to warrant acknowledgement.

And yet, you gotta give it up. Here are ten posts that are gloriously, technically true.

10. T H I N K

Being correct while missing the entire spirit of the post, attaboy.

9. Layer by layer

He’s out of line, but he’s right.

8. You gotta testify!

There’s a theatre in my hometown called The New Theatre.
It’s been around for more than 50 years.

7. Numbers don’t lie

This is a great example of why statistics without context can be less than useless.

6. The pocket conspiracy

Has someone informed Jim Gaffigan of this?

5. Bullet time

I’ve seen this posted so many times and like…where are you getting that number from?

4. Summon the Grouch

What am I, chopped liver? Also I think I’m standing on some chopped liver.

3. Rock and roll

That’s gonna be the name of my Rush cover band.

https://starrthepj.tumblr.com/post/146515179163/ewebie-perchu-razzliox-perchu-what

2. Support the cause

This is what you get for leaving your prompts so open ended.

https://rogha.tumblr.com/post/141435187887/laneybugawesomeness-its-technically-true

1. Absolutely brutal

The game has been changed forever.

https://young-calamitous.tumblr.com/post/77993976938

Those are some good, technically correct posts. But we’re done now. Or rather, we’ll be done in 41 words. Because I’m still typing, and there are a couple more lines to go.

What’s the best technically correct thing you’ve encountered lately? Was it said by you or by someone else?

Tell us in the comments.

Ok we’re actually done…now.

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Tweets That Prove Autocorrect Can Drive You Insane

Autocorrect has been around for as long as smartphones.

It was initially developed by Ken Kocienda and his team at Apple for their operating system Project Purple, which would come to fruition as the first iPhone.

Said Kocienda, “It wasn’t easy to figure out how software might come to our rescue and how much our algorithms should be allowed to make suggestions or intervene to fix typing mistakes. I wrote the code for iPhone autocorrection based on an analysis of the words we type most commonly, the frequency of words relative to others, and the errors we’re most likely to make on a touchscreen keyboard.”

In other words, they knew typing with your thumbs was gonna end in a bunch of nonsense, and they tried to make a digital assistant to help you out.

But how well did it work? Let’s let Twitter decide.

15. All blown up

Ain’t it the truth.

14. Captain Caps

Maybe it’s smarter than we give it credit for.

13. How the tables have turned

WOULD YOU JUST MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

12. Contractions and contradictions

What is so hard to understand about this?

11. Not a morning person

You get me. Dawn is death.

10. Eating my feelings

Come on, leave me alone.

9. In the mix

Well that just sounds WAY more fun.

8. Carpe diem

It’s gonna be a great time.

7. Good for thought

Robots don’t eat, that’s why they suck so bad.

6. Wine about it

Maybe it thought you meant “whine and die.”

5. Spell it out

Why must you let me suffer when you know full well what I need?

4. Word of the day

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

3. Soon and very soon

The suspense is killing me.

2. Dying slowly

Hey, it’s really the best we can hope for.

1. In your dreams

We all have ’em.

I think those are pretty ducking great.

Is autocorrect more helpful or hurtful?

Give us your opinion in the comments.

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Want Some Funny Tweets? Well, You’re in the Right Place!

You really want it, don’t you?

Yes, you read my mind: I’m talking about very funny tweets that are going to make everyone out there laugh. Well, at least the people who are smart enough to take a few minutes out of their busy day to look at them.

And even if you don’t know you want it, I know you well enough to realize that you do in fact want this humor in your life.

Are we clear?

Good!

Now sit back and laugh at these tweets that you you want/didn’t know you wanted!

1. What else could possibly go wrong?!?!

This really is not good.

2. Go easy on that thing!

You don’t want to overdo it…

3. Hahahaha. Zing!

Also, he sounds like a great guy.

4. It’s gonna be a very long day.

Time to power through it!

5. You’ve crossed the line.

One more time and you’re outta here.

6. She’s a little worked up.

Sorry, we didn’t realize it was that big of a deal…

7. I support this 100%.

Get on board, people!

8. You just are!

Hey, we all need to eat ice cream, okay?

9. She doesn’t look very cold…

Are we sure that this is historically accurate?

10. Absolutely not.

Next question, please.

11. Let’s get breakfast together.

Oh, you’re talking about something else…

12. They know you so well by now.

No need to be horrified. Just go with it!

Have you seen any other funny tweets lately?

Well, please share some good ones with us in the comments.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

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Tweets That Are Super Duper Neat

Tweets sure can be neat. The kind of neat that makes you stop and take notice. And then take the tweet, and spread it around. Because you need to spread the neat joy, at any cost.

The tweets that stay with you after a long hard day of looking at internet stuff – those are the ones worth savoring. The ones worth thinking about. The ones worth a moment of appreciation.

Such are the tweets in this list. Come. Let our tweet experience begin.

12. Spill that tea

We’re just causing trouble from overseas all the time for those folks.

11. The coupled life

The way we do it is badly. Everybody resents it on some level, that’s just life.

10. I’m yours

It’s like being served a legal document, once you’ve touched it you’re officially responsible.

9. Blowing over

We were so young. So naive. So very stupid.

8. Ball is life

This is only because the guys who would say “this song was on Pro Skater” are now too old to be going to house parties.

7. The long distance friendship

We live in the same state and could totally meet up, we just don’t.

6. Try, try again

Once again, Taco Bell comes through as my one true source of happiness and inspiration.

5. Watching like a hawk

I simply will not contribute to this cultural disrespect.

4. Not my vibe

I think a little more money might just fix that up, though.

3. It looks like…

This smug idiot was always just slowing everything down.

2. The simulation machine

It’s just what our brains are designed to do, and they’re not gonna be stopped by reason.

1. Real struggles

At least in a divorce you have some sense of who the heck you are.

Another fine serving of Tweets. Come back soon for more, won’t you?

Who are your favorite Twitter people?

Tell us in the comments.

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Tweets That Will Make You Say “Wait, What?!?!”

Almost everybody loves a good tweet. Especially when that single tweet makes you do a double take. Goes in a direction you weren’t expecting. Subverts all you’ve ever known and replaces it with a paradigm shift the likes of which your feed has never seen.

That’s what these tweets are like. I think. I’m not entirely sure what “paradigm” actually means.

15. Water under the bridge

Public health is just so important, you guys.

14. I’m on board

Alright nana, settle down now.

13. On the other hand

If you read too fast you might just miss it whizzing by.

12. Something’s in the air

Can you paint with all the colors of this burn?

11. No bones about it

Yeah yeah, I know my rights.

10. Give it a rest

It’s really vital to have goals you can stick to.

9. Where’s the fire?

Bosses are just so up tight, am I right?

8. Chill

We have some kind of legal confidentiality between us, yeah?

7. Oh deer me

There are two wolves inside you. They are both gonna eat ya.

6. Now hear this

The next Chucky movie is gonna be weird.

5. Merry men

The hood giveth and the hood taketh away.

4. Buried deep

We kinda brought…all of this on ourselves.

3. Never ever

You say that like you’ve been tricked before.

2. Getting in

This is truly my big break!

1. End of sentence

Period.

Now if you scroll back up and look at those again you’ll have to do second second takes and that’s like four takes for the price of one so what are you waiting for?

Who are the funniest people on Twitter right now?

Tell us your opinion in the comments.

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Tweets About the Reality of Having Siblings

If you grew up in a house with a few kids in it, you know what was going on behind those doors.

Alliances were formed, people argued and fought with each other, occasionally a soft drink was thrown in someone’s face during dinner.

It was a great time!

And underneath it all was one simple thing: LOVE. A very complicated and unique kind of love, but yes, it was still love.

Let’s look at some funny tweets about what it’s like to have siblings. And tell us if you think any of this looks familiar…

1. Whose idea was that?

Sounds like a really bad one to me…

2. You’re going to need a lot of strength for this.

Sometimes, you just get pushed to the limit.

3. That was resolved quickly.

It can change just like that.

4. I’m familiar with this.

Don’t forget about the names of the pets, too.

5. Funny how that works.

Wait a second…I think that’s my jacket.

6. Put it all down in your little book.

You’re gonna need the evidence later on.

7. Good thing they’re not yelling at me.

This always felt really good.

8. Drives me nuts!

The trash can is literally two feet away.

9. You better run for it!

If you get caught in there again, you’re gonna be in trouble.

10. She came out of nowhere.

He hit me first!

11. You gotta be on top of this game.

I called Shotgun!

12. Both of these look very familiar…

Say hi to your siblings for us!

Do you have some sibling rivalry going on in your life?

If the answer is YES, tell us some funny stories in the comments.

We can’t wait to hear from you. Thanks!

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Tweets About Having Siblings That Are Spot-On

I grew up in a house with four siblings and let me tell you, it was kind of a madhouse.

People always coming and going, brothers and sisters arguing, parents telling us to shut up…it was very interesting. And I’m still kind of shocked that our parents decided to keep all of us…

And most of the time, despite the activity, it was a lot of fun! And if you grew up with siblings, you know that you’ll always have a unique bond that will last forever.

Let’s check out some funny tweets about the realities of having siblings.

1. A terrible idea.

You might as well just rip that part of the wall out.

2. They’re good at getting you to the extra level.

And that’s NOT GOOD for you.

3. I’m trying to concentrate here!

What the hell is wrong with you!

4. I’m not falling for that one.

I learned my lesson last time.

5. You just don’t know what it was like.

A fun part of growing up!

6. It sure does!

You knew they were never gonna actually do it…probably…

7. That’s amazing.

And I bet you held it over his head that whole time.

8. Use it or lose it.

It’s all a mind game.

9. Go get it yourself.

“You ain’t broke.”

10. Really giving them the business.

Some things never change…

11. It was usually whoever was older.

And I never got over it, either!

How about you?

Do you have siblings?

If so, tell us some funny stories about them in the comments.

Thanks in advance!

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12 of the Best Tweets for You to LOL at Over and Over Again

When we say these tweets are killer, we don’t want to scare you.

We actually just want to let you know how cool and funny they are!

We’re trying to be hip like the kids out there, so we thought using that term would impress you.

Did it work…?

I knew it would!

Dig into these killer tweets, brah…and I’ll catch you on the flip side.

1. I always knew there was something off about him.

And now we have the proof, don’t we…?

2. I wish this would happen with my phone.

And don’t call me Shirley!

3. Time to move along, partner.

Your coworker seems like a blast!

4. Thank God for guinea pigs.

What would we do without them?!?!

5. I see what you did there!

Good one!

6. Load up the white sauce.

This guy is obviously much classier than the rest of us.

7. I think you misunderstood him.

That really didn’t end well…

8. Gee, thanks Dad!

Seems to be a lot of this going around…

9. Not a pretty picture.

Hey, at least you’re getting some action.

10. I bet that impressed her.

I’m gonna have to start using this one.

11. I’m all for this idea!

And it can’t be the same book 12 times!

12. I’m looking forward to doing this over the summer.

It’s good exercise!

Now it’s your turn, amigos.

In the comments, please share some tweets you’ve enjoyed lately that you think would be right up our alley.

Or some memes, photos, or jokes!

We thank you in advance for your contributions!

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