Category: tweets

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Funny Tweets About All Kinds of Random Stuff

One of the best things about Twitter is how funny it can be and how absolutely RANDOM it is.

I guess it’s because Twitter is just one huge melting pot of every kind of personality and character out there in this crazy world that we live in. So we get to enjoy this sort of stream of consciousness from all kinds of folks who we’d never get to interact with in real life.

And that’s a good thing. Because variety is the spice of life, as they say…

So enjoy these funny and RANDOM tweets that we think will bring a smile to your face.

1. That sounds like a terrible idea.

What were you thinking?!?!

2. Every day is Groundhog Day right now.

When will it change…?

3. This is what a tweet should look like.

Just in case you were wondering.

4. It’s a lot of fun!

At least some of the time…

5. This is really frustrating.

You have to keep those pizza plants under control.

6. I can’t handle that right now.

I’m very fragile, okay?

7. The absolute peak of marriage.

Let’s go take a look at those shelves again!

8. I think Jesus can handle that.

No problem at all!

9. The eagle was THIS close.

And that darn hyena had to ruin it.

10. No. The other way!

Not a lot of hope for this person.

11. This is embarrassing.

And I like that he didn’t correct you for three years.

12. We need to talk about this.

A serious issue.

13. That’s not appropriate.

Just don’t ever tell him the truth.

Now it’s your turn!

In the comments, please share some funny things you’ve seen on social media lately: memes, tweets, jokes, photos, etc.

Let’s see what ya got, friends!

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These Hilarious Tweets Will Take Your Mind off of Things

We could all use a major break right now.

You’re moody, you’re irritable, you’ve been standing at your front door and watching traffic go by for the past four hours…or maybe that last part was just me…

Whatever the case, the point is that we all need a break from our daily lives and the madness that’s unfolding in the world before our very eyes. I don’t think that’s too much to ask for, do you?

Heck no! It’s time to spoil yourself, and we’re here to help you. So sit back, relax, and enjoy these funny tweets that we think will bring you some much-needed relief.

Let’s go!

1. I feel this tweet.

My life is currently a carb overload.

2. Can we finally move past this?

I don’t know what you’re talking about!

3. This vlog is gonna be a huge hit.

You’re on your way!

4. Joke’s on you.

You dumb humans!

5. I sure miss those days.

It used to be so easy!

6. You did it!

You just couldn’t help yourself, could you?

7. This is a good-looking tweet!

Pay attention, people…

8. Don’t ever do that again.

This kind of made me sick.

9. Venti Rat is a cool band name.

Also, they need to get rid of that rat in the bathroom.

10. That’s a great question.

We’re talking about very important issues here.

11. Hahahaha. Amazing.

Hipster Cop needs to be a TV show.

12. Now you’ve done it!

Do you feel good about this? I sure don’t…

And now it’s YOUR time to shine!

In the comments, share some funny stuff with us.

We want memes, tweets, jokes, photos, etc!

Now go ahead and make us laugh!

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Very High Quality Tweets That Will Meet Your Standards

Believe it or not, our panel of experts have been hard at work examining each of these tweets for quality, durability, and safety.

They have passed the most rigorous standards and received the highest levels of certification available in the industry.

By which I mean, I looked at them all and I laughed and now I’m showing them to you ’cause I feel like it.

You are most deeply welcome.

Check out these ten quality tweets that are fit to pass any inspection.

10. Breaking decent

Way to look on the bright side, I guess?

9. Coming to an arrangement

If you live in an apartment complex just know that your neighbors hate you now.

8. Chunked up

I need to see your data and your research methodology, please.

7. Getting a head

Maybe it’s an exciting new combination!

6. Just in time

Learning is for nerds.

5. Get with the program

Well something needs to get debugged.

4. Proof of purchase

“Will I need a record of the fact that I bought this tube of toothpaste? We can’t know. There’s just no way to know.”

3. Talk birdie to me

The longer you look at it the worse it gets.

2. Cutting deep

What if they’re deeply into making deep dish?

1. Top of the pile

And losing all your friends in the process!

I dare you to find higher quality tweets than that. Those are built to last. Quality craftsmanship. Those are the kind of solidly constructed tweets that make me proud to be a citizen of the internet.

What kinds of tweets do you like the most?

Tell us in the comments.

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16 Funny Tweets That You Need in Your Life

There’s a ton of good content on Twitter, and there’s also a lot of content you could spend hours scrolling through in order to get to the good stuff.

We’re doing the heavy lifting for you, sifting through the dirt and mining the gems like these 16, which we don’t think you’ll want to miss.

16. I’m “I’ve tweaked my back doing nothing” years old.

And it happens regularly.

15. That dog’s face is just priceless.

And the caption is spot on.

14. It’s a whole mood.

And this description is pretty much everything.

13. Yeah, that’s probably what your date means.

Don’t take her to a game; you’ll be disappointed.

12. I mean you don’t want to smother him.

You’ve gotta let him know you have some self respect.

11. It’s a brave new world.

I hope your little peanut is keeping up.

10. That’s not how any of this works.

I mean, not if you believe in science and staying alive.

9. I’ve never seen a better application.

Give this woman her award.

8. Why is this so hilarious?

I cannot stop giggling.

7. Hahahahaha.

She’s not joking, though.

6. All of that wasted anxiety.

This is awkward.

5. Is there anything easier to copy?

8th grade me says no.

4. Oof. Felt that.

I hear it never goes away, so that’s fun.

3. If you’re into dark humor, I mean.

You won’t find more skilled unintentional comedians.

2. If you know, you know.

And you probably have some form of brain damage.

1. It is what it is.

This is where we are now.

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling lighter for laughing!

Which of these was your favorite? Tell us in the comments!

The post 16 Funny Tweets That You Need in Your Life appeared first on UberFacts.

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Hilarious Jokes About the Misery of This Pandemic

Hey there…

Here we go again…

Yes, it’s another installment of jokes about the pandemic. And do you want to know why? BECAUSE THIS THING IS STILL HERE SEVEN MONTHS LATER.

And it really doesn’t look like it’s going anywhere for a while, does it?

It’s sad, but true. But we have to deal with it and get through it, right?

And one of the  ways we can do that is with humor.

So, without further ado, enjoy another installment of jokes about this crazy time in world history…and remember to wear your mask when you go out in public!

1. Are you guys okay?

Now I’m depressed, too…

2. Hahahaha. Burn!

You showed them!

3. You’re doing good work.

No, make that GREAT work!

4. Doesn’t seem realistic, does it?

That’s not gonna happen!

5. Jack might have overreacted just a bit.

I mean, the whole thing with the axe? C’mon, bro…

6. No way around it.

Just wear it and keep your mouth shut. Okay?

7. The new normal.

Okay, I’ve had enough for today.

8. That did not work out very well.

What the hell is going on out there?

9. They’re working for me, too.

Been ordering all kinds of stuff!

10. This is very true.

Covid got snubbed!

11. You did your best.

And maybe Mr. Newton would be proud of you.

12. I’m pretty over it…

Not gonna lie…

Ughhhhh…

In the comments, talk to us and give us a life update.

How are you doing? How are you holding up?

Thanks! And please stay safe and healthy out there!

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Tweets for People Who Are the Hottest Mess

Raise your hand if you think you’re a hot mess.

Now raise your other hand if in trying to raise that first hand you somehow hurt yourself, knocked something over, or set fire to your greater metropolitan area.

It’s ok. I understand. I’m a hot mess, too. Last week I severely injured myself while yawning in the morning. There’s not much that’ll push you harder to say “screw this I’m staying in bed” than that. But a lot of people on the internet are hot messes too, and they turn that hot mess into a hot take, and place that hot take on Twitter for all to enjoy.

Check out these ten tweets by and for people who are just like you, you beautiful disaster.

10. The customer is always wrong

Just because you don’t mean anything doesn’t mean you can’t wreck me.

9. Reset

If I could call a do-over on existence I probably would have ten times by now.

8. Take me away

Imagine having this conversation 48 times a night.

7. I don’t mouth so good

Forget it, I’ll just go ahead and never speak again.

6. Dating in the modern day

Elizabethan courtship etiquette has nothing on the internet age.

5. The big questions

I need to report this original tweet for rudeness.

4. The Devil’s in the details

My demons have resorted to cleaning up just so they have something to wreck.

3. Pain in hindsight

These are the scars that truly never disappear.

2. Time and place

Don’t forget to follow it up with a “haha, but I dunno, man, it’s whatever.”

1. Out of funding

I’m sorry, what the hell app is this?

If you’ve managed to scroll through all of that without disaster, congratulations. Give yourself a high five! Oh, that made you sprain your wrist? And the whole office was watching? Nevermind, just get out of there, I’m sorry.

What’s your biggest “hot mess” moment recently?

Tell us in the comments.

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10 Tweets to Improve Your Day

For a long time, tweets were limited to just 140 characters. Then in 2017, they decided to up the limit to 280.

Interestingly though, they found that in beta testing, most people still preferred to keep the messages shorter even with more real estate allowed. Seems that the entire appeal of Twitter is in the brevity, whether that’s in the service of a pithy social statement or just a dumb joke.

Here, briefly, are ten short tweets that are definitely dumb jokes.

10. Inside out

A modern rendition of the scream.

9. Knife to meet you

Yanno, I think I could take a stab at cooking too.

8. Sleep with me

That’s not your fellow, that’s your pillow.

7. Time flies

Ah, Hollywood. Where 27 years olds are teenagers and 40 year olds are ancient.

6. Speaking my language

It’s like they say, communication is key.

5. The best part of waking up

It’s a late start, but it’s still a start, I guess?

4. Oh hi doggy

The dog will never say anything stressful or disappointing back.

3. Shelf help

You don’t have to be well read to put this one together.

2. Technically speaking

The best KIND of correct.

1. Terrible lizards

This tweet has absolutely made my day in ways I can’t even explain.

In the spirit of what makes twitter great, we’ll keep it brief and end it there. Just ten little random messages tailor-made by strangers to make us giggle. Hope that short trip has brightened your day!

Who are your favorite people on Twitter right now?

Tell us in the comments.

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Important Lessons That 2020 Has Taught All of Us

What have we learned in 2020 so far?

It’s kind of impossible to say. On the one hand, it feels like the year in which we all lived a thousand lifetimes and gained the perspectives and heights of wisdom that come with such figurative reincarnations. On the other hand, it kinda feels like we’ve gone nowhere and done nothing and learned jack squat. Maybe the truth is somewhere in between?

To shed some light on the subject, let’s have a look at these ten 2020 memes and see if we can discern a lesson from them.

10. Nothing makes sense

God is just extremely drunk right now.

9. Protect yourself

They saw their chance and they took it, by golly.

8. Stock up on arrows

Those folks had it right from the start.

7. Take every opportunity

You never know what year might be your last chance to really start some sh*t with Uncle Ron.

6. It’s a nice excuse

With an attitude like that, not many people are gonna ask questions.

5. It’s the little things that count

If only I could pretend to be busy around other people instead of pretending to be busy around no people.

4. The more things change, the more they stay the same

How many dudes have just been riding this wave?

3. Standards will shift

I don’t even wanna know what the 2021 goals will be.

2. Remember to excuse yourself

I can feel the heat of a thousand grocery aisle stares just reading this.

1. Stay safe out there

Having to face off with this crisis hasn’t been easy, but we’re doing it.

Not sure if those are actually the most helpful lessons in the world, but at the end of the day, at least they’re lessons?

What have you learned in 2020?

Tell us in the comments.

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Tweets That Capture this Year in a Painfully Funny Way

I don’t know how to tell you this, but, 2020 has been kinda bad.

I know, you probably need to sit down and have a glass of water or something after a revelation like that but, this is a year that has been just a little bit of a kerfuffle, if you’ll pardon the language. I’d even go so far as to say it’s been less than ideal. And you can quote me on that, controversial as it may be.

I suppose one minor upswing for which we can be grateful is the grace and wit with which the funny people of Twitter have continued to respond to these ever-weirder times. Here are ten tweets about 2020 that almost make it funny-funny.

10. True heroism

I shot a bunch of ventilators into the ocean to celebrate.

9. Do you really need to ask?

There is no way to properly pose or answer this question anymore.

8. Simply the best

Success looks a little bit different for everyone.

7. Exotic perspectives

Man, remember when THIS was all the rage?

6. Little victories, tiny defeats

What even is a “best life?” sounds like a scam.

5. Murder rates

So on top of everything you’re living in a Hitchcock movie. Neat.

4. Spooky times

I um…I think this boat has sailed.

3. Opportunity knocks

Get on this Mad Max vibe early, you’ll come out ahead.

2. Do ya feel lucky, punk?

All hail your new, unlikely king.

1. Pretty simple

Hey, go make sure you’re registered to vote at vote.org.

Not sure if those are quite bangin’ enough to make this year worthwhile, but they do at least ease the troubles. Hang in there, everybody!

What’s the biggest thing you learned in 2020?

Tell us in the comments.

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Random Twitter Jokes to Make Your Day Better

Ah, Twitter. Where would we be without it?

Scream at each other about politics in person? That’s a lot of work. Plus it’s dangerous. Much safer to do that sort of thing with our thumbs while in the comfort of our own toilet. And of course, Twitter isn’t JUST the home for the world’s most nuanced and productive political discourse, it’s also a place for lots of good jokes, like these!

Here are fourteen random Twitter jokes you can read in the bathroom or wherever.

14. It’s kind of a lot

I literally sweat the entire way there.

13. iDrink

Judging by your use of the word “their,” I’m guessing this would apply to your current state.

12. Never say forever

You can’t trust anybody these days and it’s disgusting.

11. Duck and roll

I’m having a quack snack attack.

10. Bird brained

Like an iceberg, this goes deeper than you can even imagine.

9. Serving up stories

Gotta hit that word count one way or another.

8. Crunching numbers

“It’s like this sophisticated algorithm KNOWS me!”

7. Slice of life

Very brave of her to use her final breath to deliver this news. F in the chat.

6. Fishing for compliments

Yeah but did you see how thoroughly medium-sized the fish was?

5. Checks and balances

(There are functionally identical and much cheaper alternatives to Apple products…just sayin.’)

4. Sweep me off my feet

Well that doesn’t suck.

3. Small talk

I’d choose pasta any day.

2. Key to my heart

How old is that car anyway? Is this kid a time traveler?

1. Scream time

The important thing is that your system works for you.

Without jokes on Twitter, we’d have to find jokes out in the wild like our ancestors did, and that sounds exhausting. So here’s to all the wonderful funny people who continue to supply us with these golden tweets. Keep up the great work.

Who are the funniest people on Twitter in you opinion?

Tell us in the comments.

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