Category: tweet

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These People Are Living Their Best Married Lives

Audrey Hepburn once said “If I get married, I want to be very married.”

She was married and divorced twice in her life, so it seems like maybe she accomplished the goal of being very married, and good for her.

A lot of other people who fit that description seem to be mostly hanging out on Twitter, complaining/venting/joking about it to the rest of us.

Just take these very married tweets for example.

13. Special delivery

Ya gotta keep things fresh, yanno.

12. Flavor of love

Kinda sounds like you’re both childish but ok.

11. Folding in

Pay attention, because this is going to be extremely important, apparently.

10. Not ok

These are the signs that you are officially slipping into old age.

9. Play the fool

You gotta pay attention.

8. Very alarming

If this were me we’d be sleeping in separate bedrooms. Maybe separate houses.

7. Sleepy time

You set a new record!

6. I scream, you scream

How else am I to enjoy a cool Summer treat in the winter?

5. You’ve been replaced

Your one function on this earth has now been eliminated.

4. A toast to you!

Look don’t make me say it again.

3. A special meeting

Now, if you’ll all open up your binders…

2. The reason for the season

He’s gonna be real confused when those fifty boxes turned out to be one tie, somehow.

1. Must see TV

You know that you can’t look away.

Welp, it doesn’t get much more married than that.

What’s your best bit of marriage/relationship advice?

Tell us in the comments.

The post These People Are Living Their Best Married Lives appeared first on UberFacts.

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Funny Tweets That Are Peak 2020

If I had any wishes for this awful year, it would be that it never gets mentioned in polite conversation again.

And yet… I know that’s not realistic. I know we’ll be talking about 2020 for DECADES to come. And we’ll be going over how awful and crazy this year was again and again and again.

So, given that reality… why not keep talking about it now and find the lighter side?

That’s what these tweeple are doing, and I’m here for it.

If not to laugh… then perhaps to cry?

Let’s take a look!

1. I really don’t need to be on that Zoom call, right

I’m just going to hang out with my feels.

2. The most 2020 math equation ever

I’m so over this year.

3. They’re not doing that well.

Because I am one of those people… and I hate life right now.

4. Also, if you don’t have a life, booze will give you one!

It won’t last long, but, yanno… YOLO!

5. Also, quarantine Day 673

I will do this every single day, regardless.

6. Gurlllllll

I don’t think that relationship is gonna work out…

7. I mean… same same

Hypersonic? Maybe. Funky fresh? No.

8. I should be terrified, but instead I’m intrigued.

I’d hang out with this gal!

9. I knew it!

Emails can’t find people… only people can find emails. Think about it…

10. Sounds like a plan!

It’s a bold move Cotton, let’s see if it works out for them…

All of those tweets are bangers. For real. And you can’t convince me otherwise.

But… that’s my hot take. What’s yours? Let us know in the comments.

Thanks fam!

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Take a Look at this Interesting Life Advice From Women

The more experience we have in life, the more we learn.

The more we learn, the more we wish we’d known back when we hadn’t lived very long yet. It’s inevitable, it’s a part of life. You only get good at a game by playing it, and if you’re kind, you’ll help some newbies find their way as well. There was plenty of such life advice flowing from one particular Twitter thread kicked off by user @GayatriiM, who wrote:

There are endless replies, and a lot of common themes. Here are some of our favorites.

15. “Treat the other as just a human”

We cannot expect perfection.

14. “Boundaries are super important”

You can’t be all things to all people.

13. “What angers you controls you”

Don’t hand over the reigns.

12. “Keep learning all the time”

You’re never going to know it all.

11. “Give importance to self happiness”

You’re only one person.

10. “Indulge yourself”

You’ve only got this one life to live.

9. “Choose your battles wisely”

Otherwise you might get drained.

8. “If you are kind to yourself…”

A glass can only spill what it contains.

7. “If you are happy…”

Remember what you can and can’t control.

6. “Relations change”

Nothing is set in stone, that doesn’t mean these things aren’t meaningful.

5. “Build your tribe”

You can be civil without being close.

4. “Say no sometimes”

If you do everything, that will be expected forever.

3. “Live in NOW”

The past is the past.

2. “Be the fulcrum”

We are, at the end of the day, very simple machines.

1. “Pain is overrated”

You’re not here to suffer for someone else.

I know these were written specifically for people in demographics I don’t fit, but still, SO much feels universal. Be good to each other, but also be good to yourself.

What piece of advice would you like to pass along?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Take a Look at this Interesting Life Advice From Women appeared first on UberFacts.

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Pieces of Life Advice From Women, For Women

There are many things we learn in his life that we wish we would have known sooner.

But instead of wallowing in that, it’s helpful to just collect those thoughts. Consider them. Pass them on.

That’s what happened in a thread started by Twitter user @GayatriiM:

Here are fifteen pieces of resulting life advice from women, for women.

15. “Make choices which make you happy”

Damned if you do, do it anyway.

14. “Say no”

You are not responsible for everything.

13. “IDGAF”

Not a word, but I get what you mean.

12. “Your life is your own”

You can help people, but you can’t live for someone else.

11. “There may never be a later”

Postponed may well mean cancelled.

10. “Never too late”

Don’t forget about you.

9. “Don’t take everything to heart”

Some things need to be let go.

8. “You don’t have to reply to every message”

There’s just too much noise sometimes.

7. “Be kind and gentle”

You’re the only you you’ve got.

6. “Life is too short”

There are billions of people in this world, you’re not gonna win ’em all.

5. “Life goes on”

Nothing lasts forever.

4. “Put yourself first”

Some things you want to realize before they’re too late.

3. “Detachment”

Don’t get weighed down.

2. “Not to give in”

You’re a person, not a host.

1. “Setting boundaries”

Don’t let everybody just stomp around as they please.

Pretty incredible stuff, and with one common theme – be good to yourself, not just those around you. You count too.

What piece of advice would you like to give?

Leave it in the comments below.

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Enjoy These Times When People Tweeted Something Just Right

If you didn’t read these 11 tweets before now… what have you been doing with your life?

I don’t mean to brag, but I’ve only shared 11 here…. but I’ve got probably 1,000 of these things in my meme pocket. And I could pull out more and spread them around, but for right now… this is all you get. These 11. So you better make them last.

Don’t say you weren’t warned!

1. Sounds like DA to me!

These meetings can get INTENSE!

Photo Credit: The Chive

2. Megan has a point…

Why is the coral disappearing if it’s so smart, huh?

Photo Credit: The Chive

3. Well, that’s just pigeons being pigeons

Let them walk if they want. Flying is hard.

Photo Credit: The Chive

4. Sounds exactly like what I would say

Talk more clearly next time!

Photo Credit: The Chive

5. Just lay there.

It’ll all be over soon.

Photo Credit: The Chive

6. Literal horse is literal

Literally hilarious, I mean! 😉

Photo Credit: The Chive

7. It’s not too much to ask!

In fact, you should demand it. From whom, I do not know…

Photo Credit: The Chive

8. And everybody had a great laugh.

Seriously, you should do this. It’ll work.

Photo Credit: The Chive

9. This one is a slow burn…

… but it’s worth it.

Photo Credit: The Chive

10. Now THAT is some research.

Is 540 bad or…???

Photo Credit: The Chive

11. This would make my decade.

Maybe even my millennium.

Photo Credit: The Chive

So… are you happy now? Didn’t I tell you that these 11 memes were good?

Yes, that’s all you get today.

Be happy. Don’t cry.

Stop it!

The post Enjoy These Times When People Tweeted Something Just Right appeared first on UberFacts.

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Tweets That May Very Well Be Perfect

It’s time for 10 tweets that we definitely want to share because, if we don’t, we’re just not being responsible human beings.

And while there’s no objective measure for what constitutes a “perfect” tweet… we’d hazard a guess to say that these come damn close.

Damn close, I say!!!

And away we go!

1. When that day comes… it’s not good.

I need another pair, stat!

Photo Credit: The Chive

2. What’s rarer than rare?

You probably wouldn’t understand…

Photo Credit: The Chive

3. I can see this turning out well..

Replace them, you monster!

Photo Credit: The Chive

4. Oh damn… look at the bad ass!

Mark Magark is probably the funniest name ever.

Photo Credit: The Chive

5. That’ll do it.

Works every single time.

Photo Credit: The Chive

6. Why didn’t I think of this?!?

It’s JUST that easy.

Photo Credit: The Chive

7. To the studio!

Let’s get this situation fixed, now!

Photo Credit: The Chive

8. Same.

But it’s not a sitcom… it’s Law and Order. Yeah, I’m weird.

Photo Credit: The Chive

9. This is good advice for anybody at any time.

Do not do this ever.

Photo Credit: The Chive

10. That’s not how you do it, Ron!

What did the Echo every do to you, huh???

Photo Credit: The Chive

So, those were the best 10 tweets we could find today. Come back tomorrow when we’re sure to have some more. Maybe. No promises.

But hey, want to help us out? Have some awesome tweets you want to share?

Do that in the comments! Please and thank you!

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People Share What They Thought Made Someone Rich When They Were Kids

Children grow up in the bubble of their family’s reality. Whatever’s normal at their house is normal, at least until they start school and start to visit their friends’s houses, and realize that not everyone’s “normal” looks the same.

If you grew up poor, or middle class, there were probably some things that’s existence completely amazed you – people who had those things were rich, surely.

Looking back now, it can seem silly, but everything is bigger and better when you’re small!

12. Still too rich for my blood.

It all gets to Netflix eventually.

11. Those ice machines, man.

A blessing and a curse, they are.

10. Total luxury.

Have one, still appreciate it.

9. That kid was cleaning up!

Little entrepreneur, that one.

8. I never thought about this.

Going to check in my next car purchase, though.

7. In some parts of the world, no one has it.

And I would not like to live there, no thanks.

6. I was so lucky my mom got a teacher discount.

We even had a Mac.

5. I bet he took better care of his, though.

Life lessons are surely worth something.

4. I still don’t understand the point.

Everyone knows they’re tissues.

3. A garage would be hard to live without, in extreme temperatures.

And some people just fill theirs with junk!

2. Like winning the lottery.

There were two houses in our neighborhood.

1. I still think this.

Probably because I’ve never lived in a house with double front doors.

I definitely had some of these ideas myself, how about you?

Add something to the list, please!

The post People Share What They Thought Made Someone Rich When They Were Kids appeared first on UberFacts.

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10 of the Funniest Random Jokes on the Whole Wide Internet

I think we all learned early on that there’s one thing the internet has PLENTY of. There’s so much of it, in fact, that it almost seems like the internet was invented for it. It’s exciting, and a little naughty, and we all find ourselves sneaking away to peek at it, though we wouldn’t admit it…

Oooooh yeeeeeah. That’s right. I’m talking about jokes. Why, what did you think I meant?

10. Stretching the truth

I don’t make the rules here.

9. The one ring

This is what disappointment looks like.

8. Sensory overlap

It’ll put you in a whole other dimension for a minute.

7. Supremely evil

Hope you’re planning on paying her therapy bills after this.

6. That’s so Raven

Edgar Allen Poe is spinning in his grave. Not because of this, he’s just a dramatic goth.

https://8-xj.tumblr.com/post/183730486600/while-i-nodded-nearly-napping-suddenly-there

5. Feelin’ hungry

I know my place and it’s wherever I wanna be.

https://may.tumblr.com/post/624432884316553216/babelady-vangoghcean-theres-just-something

4. Hot takes

Why Garfield has enjoyed a second life as an existential nightmare meme I’ll never understand.

https://flipflapjacks.tumblr.com/post/187230169831/cremia-ewaneneollav-yo-why-jon-thick-as

3. Big boi

You got beef with any of this?

2. Squat squirrel

That’s absolutely nuts.

1. Chip on my shoulder

My new year’s resolution is to make it to the new year.

Jokes as far as the eye can see. If you enjoyed those, go give the creators a follow. They deserve your clicks and likes and click-likes! Not to spoil anything, but they got even more jokes awaiting your face-eyes.

Who are the funniest people on the internet right now?

Tell us your opinion in the comments.

The post 10 of the Funniest Random Jokes on the Whole Wide Internet appeared first on UberFacts.

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Check out This Facebook Group Where Millennials Pretend to Be Boomers

A lot of hay has been made about the “war” between Millennials and Boomers. But in the end, it’s really all about the memes. At least that seems to be the philosophy of a private group on Facebook called a group where we all pretend to be boomers.

It’s pretty much exactly what it sounds like, and it’s rapidly gaining popularity, with nearly 15k members at the time of writing and likely far more by the time you see this. The bit is simple: a bunch of people young to youngish people do an impression of the online habits and styles of their older counterparts. That’s it. That’s all. And it’s kind of hilarious.

A thread on this latest lob in the generational war picked up a lot of attention when Twitter user @manhattanna posted a series of screenshots from within the group alongside commentary explaining that she might actually die from laughter.

Here are some examples of the kinds of things she unearthed. (All screenshots are from @manhattanna’s thread here and were presumably taken within the Facebook group. Names and faces have been removed to protect the innocent.)

10. Dinner With Tom

The vicious face at the end of the comment thread is what kills me here.

9. A Trip to the Mall

I know it’s a joke but I genuinely feel sorry for the pretend person that posted this.

8. Off Color

WHY oh WHY do Boomers love minions so damn much?

7. Twinkie Time

The classic “Boomer shares a dirty meme without realizing it” bit.

6. Red Lobster Dates

So many of these are about death and loss and I shouldn’t be laughing but dammit I kinda am.

5. Engojis

LOL

4. Ant Man Returns

The way this person never uses a period correctly is just masterful.

3. Custody Battle

This was one of a series of “really tragic post on inappropriately lighthearted background.”

2. Ghost Phone

I have seen legitimate listings like this I swear to God.

1. My Dinner with Bob

Just type that text into whatever box, I’m sure it’ll get where it’s going.

If I’m being honest this sort of stuff fills me with a mix of unbridled joy and deep guilt. I know full well that, if I’m lucky to live long enough, I will eventually be totally baffled by whatever new thing society throws at me. And when that day comes, a group of kids will get together and make memes about it which I will also not understand. And then I’ll just get in my rocket powered recliner and go to my moon retirement estate, I don’t need this mess.

Which of the posts is your favorite?

Tell us in the comments.

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Tweets That Might Prove Ladies Are the Funniest

We do a lot of Twitter articles in these parts, but this one is by ladies and for ladies. I mean, I’m not a lady. But I didn’t write any of these tweets. So think of me more as a tour guide to point out the works of art that are these posts, and let’s appreciate them together. Feel free to touch, though, since you’ll probably need to in order to scroll through.

Here are 10 quite good very great tweets especially for women.

10. Seize the moment

(OK real talk from a guy, this is the quickest possible way to start some trust issues.)

9. Coco nuts

Why the hell would he ask that? What’s wrong with him?

8. A matter of perspective

Hey, this is all of us. And if 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that nobody looks good in the video chat.

7. Higher ground

See, if I did this, the whole thing would come crashing down and I’d get banned from the grocery store. Again.

6. Stretch and flex

So it’s basically like an involuntary yoga thing.

5. Color commentary

The real question is: do they all still fit?

4. How low can you go

Looking like you don’t care takes a lot of effort.

3. Pocket monsters

When will the fashion revolution finally be at hand?

2. Dry wit

OK, this phenomenon I genuinely don’t understand. Who the hell DOESN’T like showers?

1. 50 shades

Fun fact: generally speaking, women tend to actually, physically be able to perceive more colors than men.

This concludes our tour of the gallery. Please feel free to take any of the artwork with you if you’d like. We’re a very chill museum.

Who are your favorite women on Twitter to follow?

Let us know in the comments.

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