Category: true stories

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Kidnapping Victims Explain What It’s like to Be Snatched

The idea of being taken, just taken away without any agency or control over what might happen…it’s terrifying. These 10 AskReddit users all survived their ordeals, and many of them even fought until they escaped. But some were just plain lucky, and that’s the most terrifying of all – sometimes, survival is just dumb luck.

1. “She..wanted to fill the gap”

When I was maybe 10 or 11, my neighbour kidnapped me. She was this single woman in her 50s who was always super, super nice to me. She was always on her porch, and she’d wave when I came home from school. Anyway, I was walking home from school and she was waving as usual, but this time she was beckoning me over. I went up to her porch and she asked me if I wanted some meatloaf she made. I loved meatloaf and she seemed harmless, so I said yes. I expected her to come outside with a plate or something, but instead she called me in and told me to sit downstairs. I felt weird about it, but I followed her into her basement and sat down on her couch. She brought me a plate of meatloaf and I watched Pokemon 2000 on VHS. She had a freezer with those tube popsicle things too. After I ate, I told her I needed to go home, and she told me my parents called and asked her to keep me while they ran errands. I felt weird about it and suspected she was lying, but I just kinda went along with it.

I remember I asked her if I could get my gameboy at one point from my house and she said my parents told me not to let me out of her sight. I remember watching Men In Black and falling asleep. When I woke up, I tried leaving, but the door was locked. She left some banana pudding for me on the table for when I woke up, so I just had that and went back to sleep. She opened the door at like, 5 in the morning, woke me up, and asked me if I wanted to go home. She looked like she had been crying. I told her yes and she let me go.

My parents asked me where I was and I just told them I went home with a friend after school. I didn’t have a cell phone, so it was pretty normal for me to just be gone for a day.

I didn’t see my neighbour on her porch the next Monday, so I knocked on her door. She came outside and we talked on the porch about stuff. We never talked about that night, and she probably thought I didn’t even realize what happened. She didn’t say, but I think she had a kid who died a couple years prior and wanted to fill the gap. I never hated her for it or anything. Until I moved a couple years later, I would sit on her porch after school most days and she’d listen to my neat facts about space.

2. For Ransom

This happened a while ago when I was 6. I come from a place where kidnappings are unfortunately common, and when this happened it was at an all time high. We lived in a fairly nice neighbourhood, no kidnappings there, no theft, great neighbours. We felt pretty safe and therefore, my mom wasn’t too worried. Our house was a gated residence so we had a front yard and backyard. I was out one morning in the front yard, playing with some toys while my mom was inside working or cooking or whatever. Someone knocked on the front gate, me being a dumb child decided to go up and ask who it was. It was this fairly old man who asked for some water, me being the nice, helping child opened the door and was snatched immediately.

I don’t particularly remember what happened after that but I woke up in a compound which I’m pretty sure was far from home. They hadn’t done anything bad to me as far as I know. But they did try to feed me food that I didn’t like. I was a picky child and so, all I ate was fruit. They had asked for ransom, which to this day, I don’t know how much it was. They just kept me in a room all day with duct tape on my mouth and ropes around my feet and hands. They did take duct tape off to let me drink water or eat food. Anyways, a few days later, the police busted them and arrested them. They ended up in jail for life is what I was told.

Not too long after that, my parents decided to move to a different country and now all is well. I still think about what might have gone wrong if they had sold me into child slavery or something (fairly common in my country). Life resumed after that, I’m as happy as a 20 year old can be. Nothing really changed. I still don’t know why I was kidnapped, maybe for ransom or whatever. In exactly a month, it’ll be my 14th kidnapping anniversary!

3. Big Tony 

Two years ago, I was very hungover on a summer Saturday in Manhattan. A girl I was seeing at the time was angrily getting her things together and proceeded to storm out of the apartment, which was shared by myself and four other guys. My old roommates had moved to a new apartment the night before. There are boxes and miscellaneous stuff everywhere. I’m laying in bed, dying. It’s around 9 or 10 am.

About five minutes after the girl storms out, theres a knock at the door. She must have forgotten her phone charger or something. I get up in my boxers, walk across the living room where all the unpacked/half packed stuff is, and open up the door. Behind the door was one of the scariest faces I’ve ever seen. Very beady eyes, thick mustache, scarred up face, balding man in his 50’s. I was holding the door slightly ajar. Since it wasn’t who I thought it was, I stepped behind the door a bit to hide my pale, half-naked body, and stuck my head through the crack.

He asked if Billy was home (one of my old roommates). I told him that Billy had moved out the day before. With that said, he put all of his bodyweight into the door, sending me flying back. This dude was enormous. As I was recovering from this and trying to think why someone would be so angry with Billy, this gentleman open-hand slaps me so hard I hit the ground. I am now awake.

My new houseguest identifies himself as Big Tony, and demands to speak with Billy. I go into my room (right off of the living room where Big Tony is now setting up shop) and put on pants and grab my phone. Tony has already made it very clear not to call the police, or try to run out of my apartment or I might fall out of the window or get shot in the knees.

Apparently, Billy owes him a lot of money. I call Billy, who says he never heard of Big Tony, and Billy is convinced it’s a joke. Tony asks for the phone, where I hear Billy telling Big Tony where he can stick it and to get out of his old apartment. Tony is now upset, and starts telling Billy that his roommate (myself) might get hurt if he doesn’t learn some manners and come to the old apartment. Billy hangs up.

Tony, for some reason took a liking to me. He apologized for the slap, gave me cigarettes, and said he hoped that this would all work out. He constantly comments on the fact that I’m living like an animal (since theres stuff all over the apartment), and asking if me and my old roomies watch betting sports. We never watched sports, never had cable. He asks if Billy’s last name is something which it isn’t, and then asks if Billy is from somewhere that he isn’t, and than asked if Billy is enrolled in a university that he isn’t. I inform Big Tony that I’m fairly confident he is in the wrong apartment.

Just as I’m getting him to back off and believe that there might be more then one Billy living in an apartment building, there is another knock at the door. “If it’s the cops or your parents, I’m the maintenance guy”. (My parents were coming to help me move out that afternoon). I open the door, and it’s Henry, another one of my old roommates. I inform him he’s picked a bad time as he’s already waltzing inside to get some things. Tony poses as my uncle for a few minutes, before I intervene and tell Henry that this giant man is looking for Billy, who he believes owes him money. “Henry, do you guys gamble?” “Yeah, we gamble all the time.”

We played dice/cards a lot. I try explaining to Tony that we don’t gamble on sports, but now we have to go through the whole gambit again. After another half hour of questions with Henry, Tony is back to believing he is in the wrong apartment. He calls his “coworker” to get a picture texted to him, it’s not Billy. Okay. I tell Tony good luck and try to shoo him out of the apartment. No, it’s never that easy.

Tony wishes to take Henry and I out for coffee and doughnuts, his personal apology. I refuse. He won’t have it. I’m in a Starbucks ordering doughnuts and coffee, which we consume in a nearby park, and listen to Tony’s stories.

Half an hour later, he says we can leave (at this point it didn’t seem like we were being kept though) and we head back. Naturally no one believes us. We have a party in the old/pretty empty apartment. I stay at a friends place in the building, and wake up to knocks. Straight up ‘Nam flashbacks. It’s my buddy Tom, who also lives in the building. He tells me someone’s outside looking for me. Great.

I get dressed, and head outside to find Big Tony, who gives me a grocery bag filled with Beer and Cigarettes. Tom and a few other friends from the building come outside and we drink beer in styrofoam cups on the street whilst listening to Tony’s stories. Everyone believes Henry and I, and if I’m ever in Tony’s neighbourhood, I should call him for dinner on him.

4. Custody Kidnapping

I was ‘kidnapped’ when I was 7 and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I lived with my mother and her awful boyfriend. I wasn’t abused physically, but looking back the mental abuse and neglect was very traumatic. Some borderline Lifetime movie things…

Anyways my father had visitation rights and picked me up every other weekend. One weekend he came to get me and saw that I had not eaten much (food was almost always under lock and key) and my mom and her boyfriend were nowhere to be found. So, my father told me, “Pack your stuff.”

We spent some time hiding out at different places with family, friends, even hotels in Laughlin and Vegas. It was like a mini vacation. I even remember staying at my dad’s girlfriend’s house when the cops showed up. I hid under the bed while they talked to her.

At the end of the day, I never had to go back to my Mom’s boyfriend’s house and my father won majority custody. I’m not sure how I would’ve turned out if I had stayed there. Thanks Dad.

5. Never accept a ride from an unaccredited taxi. Just don’t do it.

Me and my mate spent 2010 new years eve in Philly. We were partying with bunch of our friends but we wanted to go “downtown”. Additional vital information, we’re both Icelandic, completely naive about our surrounding.

After walking around the area, going to a whole bunch of strange parties, etc… We’re trying to find a taxi when this guy drops by us and offers us a ride, mind you, it was 2 AM and we were like “Heck yeah man! Thank you so much!” and we jump in the rear seat. He said it would only take 10 minutes, after about 30 minutes, in a really strange and shady hood we figured something wasn’t adding up. He then parked the car, told us he was going to pick up a friend of his.

About a minute after he left we were going to run for it but he had locked the doors with the baby lock, so we’re like.. welp.. this is it.. this is how it ends..

Neither one of us remembers what happened but we somehow managed to escape and we hid behind some fence. We saw the guy coming back with like couple of friends and they began searching for us.

Being rather inebriated, we have no memory how we got back home, we didn’t remember what street our apartment was at, which part of town but around 7 AM we finally got back. When we told our friends about this story, they all agreed that we were probably the dumbest and luckiest guys they’ve ever known.

6. Internet Horror Story

I met a man online who was around my parents age, he pelted me with compliments and told me how pretty I was and everything a teenage girl wants to hear.

I met him in secret every other weekend for three months. I would tell my parents I was staying at a friend’s house and then he and I would get a hotel room for the weekend.

He started getting really controlling, bordering on physically abusive so after a particularly harsh fight I told him I didn’t want to see him anymore.

A few months later he showed up at my job as I was leaving and told me he wanted me to come to his house (2 hours away) so we could talk about stuff. I told him I had nothing to say to him and tried to leave.

He told me he had recorded us together and that if I didn’t go with him he would make sure my parents, my siblings and my boss got a copy of it. That we were just going to talk so he could explain why he acted the way he had.

I was terrified of my parents finding out I’d been lying, so I went with him.

He made me drive his car there (probably because we had to go through a toll booth with a camera and it would look less against my will if I was the one driving).

We got to his house and he immediately turned violent. He shoved me into his room and locked the door.

He ended up keeping me there for a week. During that time he pretended to be my father and called into work for me. He made me sign onto all of my accounts online (email, AIM, MySpace) he had a key logger set up on his computer so now he had all of my passwords. He took my phone the moment we got to his house.

He wrote a “script” and had me call nearly everyone in my phone and tell them I didn’t want to be friends with them anymore and never to contact me again.

One day he took me for a drive to this park bordering a river and told me that was where he was going to bury me. That night I started actively fighting back (prior to that I thought he was just going to let me go eventually).

I kicked him in the testicles and hit him in the face but that only made him mad and he shoved me on the bed and knelt on my back with my hands behind my back while screaming at me and whacking me in the side of the head.

He was so pissed off that night that he used my phone and called my dad around 6am and left him a voicemail saying “You don’t know where your daughter really is or what she’s been up to and you never will.”

My dad called my phone probably 20-30 times.

The guy eventually was afraid he’d the police so he had me answer and told me to tell my dad it was all a joke. He sat pretty much on top of me and told me if he caught me trying to tell him where I was he would kill me.

I told my dad my friends and I had been drinking and it was one of my friends idea of a prank.

When I was little I had this friend who I would play with but she ALWAYS wanted me to spend the night and would pressure me into calling and asking my parents. My dad came up with a trick where he would ask me “Are you going to watch wrestling tonight?” And if I said yes it meant I wanted to stay. If I said no it meant I wanted him to say I could not stay.

At the end of our phone call for the first time in probably ten years he asked are you going to watch wrestling tonight? And I said no.

When we hung up he called the police and called all of my friends that he could get ahold of. He eventually called the ONE friend who I had told about this guy. And he had all his info, name, phone number, everything.

Within 24 hours I was safe at home, confessed everything to everyone, got a bunch of phone calls from friends who were confused and worried and everything worked out.

I never ever go anywhere without multiple people knowing where I’ll be and who I’m with.

I carry pepper spray and a self defense weapon.

And I never met another person online.

I’m 31 now and it’s still something I think about more often than I’d like to.

7. “I’m going to kill you. You’re going to die.”

Around three years ago I had just started a relationship with my current girlfriend. She hadn’t told any of her family that she was gay as they were very homophobic, so they knew nothing of me and our relationship. However, we were slightly careless as you are in the beginning of a relationship, and we updated Facebook with pictures of us together- although we didn’t state that we were in a relationship.

So, her parents basically worked out what was going on between us, and one night I get a call from my upset girlfriend saying that her parents had turned up at her house unannounced (they lived abroad so this was a big deal) and had told her they were taking her to their home (abroad) the next day, and she had no choice about it. Bear in mind she was 22 at the time and an adult, but they made significant threats to her and she didn’t know what to do as they stopped her leaving the house. They took away her phone and she couldn’t contact me, so I hopped on a train and travelled the 2 hours to her flat to find out what was going on.

I wasn’t really aware of the situation and how dangerous it was, and I certainly should never have entered the house, but I was worried about my girlfriend.

As soon as I turned up her parents took me inside, and locked the door. This is when I started to get scared. They didn’t speak great English and were shouting at me in Spanish, and they grabbed my bag and took my phone, wallet and iPod away and locked them in a different room. My girlfriend and her sister were there, and they had my girlfriend trapped in a different room. They sat me on the sofa and started interrogating me in broken English, and pulling my hair and stuff. I was surrounded by my girlfriends mum, older sister, and her dad who was this huge guy that I would have no hope in fighting off as I was just like, a little 19 year old girl. We were on the top floor of an apartment building so I had no escape except the locked door. I kept asking to leave, and trying to leave but they stopped me, and were shouting still. Also, I could hear my girlfriend shouting help from in another room (it later came out they had been hitting her and stuff).

They started bringing in towels, which was strange and I kept saying ‘what are these towels for’, then her dad looked me dead in the face and went deadly silent.

He said to me. ‘I’m going to kill you. You’re going to die’. And I thought, ‘welp…’.

I suddenly went really calm and stopped trying to resist. I remember thinking, okay, this is how I die, and I was very calm. I started thinking how they would get rid of my body (I don’t know why) and how my parents would find out, or if they ever would, and that no one knew I was there. I also started becoming really sarcastic to whatever they said as I knew I was completely overpowered. Oh, and I remember that I really needed to pee, and for some reason this became the only thought in my head. It’s like, when you’re being kidnapped there’s never a good time to ask for the toilet? And I wanted to die with some dignity I guess! So I kept asking to use the toilet, and for some reason they said yes but that I had to be watched. So that was humiliating.

Anyway, whilst they were distracted by the whole toilet thing, my girlfriend found where they had hidden my phone, and she managed to get out of the front door and ran away. Her mum and dad chased her, but she hid (she told me this later) and she called the police and they came and saved me, thank god. They denied the whole plan to kill me thing when the police got there, even pretended they didn’t speak English! In terms of what I wouldn’t do now: I’ve very careful about knowing my exits (I’m a mental health nurse and have to visit patients home often so it comes in handy at work too!) and I’m wary around my partners family, who I still have to see a couple times a year and pretend they didn’t try to kill me.

8. Home Invader

My sister was taken from our home at knife point. We stupidly left a back sliding glass door unlocked and a man who worked at a traveling fair that was in our town came in, took a knife from our kitchen, went upstairs and grabbed my little sister who was 9 at the time. I luckily awoke when she let out a little scream and saw the man dragging her down the stairs. I screamed for my father who jumped out of bed and gave chase. He caught them about 10 feet outside the sliding glass door. The kidnapper told my dad he would kill my sister if he got any closer. My father told him you’ll have to kill me first. My sister elbowed the guy and my father immediately jumped him. Just to let you all know my father was then and is still a big dude. At 67 he’s still lifting but back then he was beast. The fight didn’t last long and the guy was in a coma for 2 days.

The aftermath was tough. My sister couldn’t sleep in her room for over a year. I would often stay up all night with a baseball bat guarding my family. Slowly we all healed. My sister is married with her own kids now and is a great but over protective mom.

9. Ex-Boyfriend

I was around 18 years old, I’d been dating this guy for about 8 months and I broke up with him because my parents were treating me differently and I didn’t like it. It put too much strain on both my bf and I, and my parents and I’s relationship and I just couldn’t take it any longer. About a week after I broke up with him he showed up at my parent’s house wanting to talk to me. My mom answered the door, I didn’t want any part of it, so she told him to go away. He got belligerent and eventually left, so she called the police. He was pulled over, and given a warning, then they let him be. In retrospect they, probably should have examined his car a little closer.

Dad was at work, mom took sister somewhere, and I was playing Mario Party alone. There was a knock at the back door and I look through the glass from the couch and he was there looking in trying to talk to me. Again, I didn’t want any part of it so I ignored him. He got mad and shouldered the door. The frame cracked. He did it again and the door burst open. I said, ‘What the heck are you doing?’ and he grabbed me and put me over his shoulder and carried me outside. I figured he was just going to put me in the front seat and leave with me but then he popped the trunk of his car with the remote and I realized what was going to happen. I twisted a little, which surprised him, and he dropped me, but then he put me in a headlock where I couldn’t breathe and I stopped struggling. He tossed me in the trunk and shut it and drove off.

At this point, I was doing everything I could to get out of the trunk ((It was a Buick Le Sabre; the model which, of course, doesn’t have a way to open the trunk from the inside)) so I started kicking the back of the seats to get out. I eventually got one open enough to stick my head through to get some air. It was in August, and the temperatures outside were riding 95 degrees, so inside the trunk was about 110. I got my head out and could finally breathe. He had calmed down a bit, and I knew he just wanted to talk to me, so he didn’t really freak when I was able to climb into the backseat.

When he was putting me in the trunk, the neighbor kids were outside and they saw what was happening and ran inside to tell their parents. Parents called the police, police called my mom, and my mom was doing 95 down the highway to get home.

Ex-bf drove me an hour and a half away to an old camp he used to go to and we talked for a while. He then took me to Pizza Hut cause I said I was hungry. I remember wondering why no one was concerned that I was waiting for a pizza without shoes or socks on. Because no one said anything, I figured my parents hadn’t realized what had happened yet. Little did I know, an Amber Alert had already been issued.

Anyways, he decided he didn’t want to go to jail, so he was going back to his workplace/place of residence to get his shotgun. When he got there, the cops were waiting for him and tried to taser him. They missed and he jumped back in his car and did a backwards u-turn. He started driving through the city at speeds of 60-85 MPH.

If you’ve never been in a high speed police pursuit, let me tell you; it’s a rush. Sooooo much adrenaline.

Anyways, he was going to get on the highway but the police had it blocked off with spike strips so he turned onto a backroad that dead ended. He ended up crashing into a tree. ((I was in the front seat by this time.))

The cops swarmed the car, pulled us both out, and since they didn’t realize who we were, cuffed us both and put us in separate cop cars. Once everything was situated, the un-cuffed me and put me in a police SUV and transported me back to the police station in my city. Parents and sister were there, freaked out, found out I was ok. The whole ordeal lasted around 10 hours. Ex got 4 years and is now out of jail in a half-way house.

10. Mall Burglary   

It way my 13th birthday party, and to celebrate my parents allowed me to invite about 8 girls over for a slumber party to celebrate. In addition to the slumber party, my mom took us out as a group to the mall since that’s what a bunch of 13 year olds in the late 90s liked to do for fun.

Everything started out great – we were having fun, going places together like Abercrombie, Limited Too, Claires, etc. We had just left the Limited Too store when all of a sudden we heard loud bangs and a bunch of screaming. About 5 stores down was a jewelry store, and it had just been robbed. My best friend and I were standing next to each other and were a little ahead of the rest of our group. The burglars were running straight at us, and we panicked and stood still not sure what to do. They kept running for us, and started reaching out to grab us. A woman saw all of this, and quickly grabbed both of us and dragged us into the nearest store. The store manager quickly slammed the safety gate, and the burglars grabbed someone else right next to where we were standing as a hostage and ran off. The woman who grabbed us and the store manager, still in panic mode, had ushered us to the back of the store and we sprinted down the back alley to get the heck out of there.

Now outside, the woman told us she was a mother herself and wanted to help us get back to my mom. But seeing how this was before the age of cellphones and the mall had been robbed for the first time in its history (it had only been open for about a year), we had no direct way of finding my mom. So this lady offered to let us hang out in her minivan while we waited for my mom to come and find us. I couldn’t remember where my mom had parked, so we decided to wait out by the main entrance parking lot until things died down. About 90 minutes later, we finally spotted my mom…and about 8 cops who all were trying to figure out where the heck we were. I don’t blame the lady for helping us, and I still think she was trying to do what she thought best, but she probably shouldn’t have made us stay in her van with her for so long without trying to contact anyone to let them know she had us.

My friend and I both freak out when people suddenly grab (or even touch) us unexpectedly, and I spook at the slightest of sounds anymore, especially if it sounds even remotely like a gunshot.

Want more? Check out the articles below:

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The post Kidnapping Victims Explain What It’s like to Be Snatched appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share the Moment They Realized They Were Attracted to the Opposite Sex

Do you remember this moment?

Adolescence is an awkward time for everyone, but once sexuality comes into the mix.. shit starts tuh get cuhRAYzy.

The straight people of AskReddit were kind enough to share their first moments of sexual emergence – aka “the moment they knew they wanted dat ass.” Enjoy!

1. Best to start young

Kindergarten.

Girl had her hair in a braid.

I noticed it looked a certain way, but I didn’t have the word to describe it. I asked my teacher to help me.

“Braid?” she asked.

“No,” I said.

We went through four or five more words. After each no, she’d ask me to explain more. Eventually she figured out the word.

“Oh,” she said, “you think it’s pretty.”

“Yeah,” I said, “she’s pretty.”

2. Understood

My sister had spice girls on VHS. I was very interested in that movie.

3. Politics. Le sigh…

There used to be a website called whitehouse.com

It was NOT a site dedicated to the White House. It was porn. My friends and I quickly exited the window in shock, but I thought, “I liked that.”

4. There ya go

When I was ten and found an underwear magazine in the mail

5. “One day” lololol

One day in 5th grade I noticed a lot of the girls in my class had boobs.

6. That ought to do it

The movie titanic, during that one drawing scene.

7. “…all I remember was ass”

11 years old. I was sitting in the drive through at El Pollo Loco, and this girl walked by in 1990s spandex jean shorts.

And all I remember was ass.

8. Boobs are magical…

I was pretty young like 5 or 6 something like that, my parent put on Cartoon Network but didn’t notice when it’s runtime or whatever was over and the channel switched to showing movies, one of the movies had this nude scene in it, I don’t remember much of what it was about, I just remember there was a naked lady tied up to a chair, anyways, the moment I saw that lady’s boobs I was like…yep I gotta get my hands on a pair of those.

9. Ok… if you’re into deadly plant sex

Poison Ivy in Batman and Robin. Weird but it did something for me.

10. “I wonder if I still think girls are gross…”

It wasn’t a gradual realization for me. I was sitting, bored, in a sixth grade class, when I thought, “I wonder if I still think girls are gross,” followed immediately by, “I wonder if I am gay.” So I imagined myself kissing Mike, a hot piece of sixth-grade male ass on my right. No, that was disgusting.

Then I imagined myself kissing Clarissa, on my left. And this started the most intense and all-consuming crush I’ve ever had, or ever will have. It was fucking magical.

11. What a man…

When I was four I saw a photo of Fabio. What followed was an exchange that went something like this:

“Mom. Is that a man? (looking at his thighs) He looks like a tree.”

“Yes. His name is Fabio.”

“I like him a lot.”

12. “…and that’s when I knew I liked girls.”

5th grade. This new girl transferred to our school from somewhere else, and we ended up sitting next to each other in computer class. We were playing some silly game and trying to help each other but, neither of us was doing great. Something happened in the game that was really silly and we both started laughing. Watching her smiling and laughing like that was the start of my first real crush, and that’s when I knew I liked girls.

13. ::Nanny laugh::

When I saw The Nanny on tv for the first time… Really did it for me. The Nanny named Fran!

14. DUH

Princess Leia.

15. Awwwww

Met this girl in primary, for my little mind she was perfect i guess. Well long story short i had a crush on her for 13 years and then i finally asked her out and now I’m married to her. Btw i met her when i was 5 and finally had the courage to ask her out when i was 18 and at this point she was on the other side of the country but we made it work.

16. TL;DR – they found out on Wednesday

When I was 7 and Addams Family movie came out and I saw Christina Ricci. That’s when I knew I liked girls and gothic girls that have a possibility of killing me really attracted me. Same to this day

17. Yaaaaassss

Age 7. Saw a boy casually walking onto the soccer field and I was like “ok, I really like something about that swagger”

I certainly remember my first moment, do you? Let us know in the comments!

The post People Share the Moment They Realized They Were Attracted to the Opposite Sex appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share the Scariest Situations They’ve Experienced While Traveling

Traveling can put you in some pretty sticky situations. Being in an unfamiliar place where you might not know the language or anyone around you is a prime setting for off-putting and, in some cases, downright terrifying things to happen.

My scariest traveling situation came in Moscow when my brother, my sister and I attended a hockey game and the crowd was 99% skinheads. Let’s just say it didn’t go well, and I still tell that story 15 years later.

Here are 15 similarly disturbing traveling tales from AskReddit users that will make your hair stand on end.

1. Doesn’t sound like a party

“Went hiking in the Himalayas in Nepal when I was 18 with a friend. We were the only girls on the hike. The entire time on the first day our Nepalese guide (probably early 30’s married man) told us we were going to have a ‘chicken’ party when we got to our first night stay in a village in the mountains.

Not knowing what this was, we were very hesitant. Turns out chicken party meant that all the guys on the trek (guides and male trekkers alike) got hideously drunk and started ramming on our super thin, wooden door with a cheap, flimsy lock clucking like chooks. We spent the whole night sitting with our backs pressing against the door to stop them.”

2. Drugged

“When I visited Turkey, some people staying at our hotel came out of their room and explained that they had eaten some cake offered to them by a fellow traveller, ostensibly for his birthday, and they had fallen asleep for over a day, only to find he had cleaned them out, passports, money, etc and took off. Put me on my guard, that’s for sure.”

3. Close call

“On a flight from Atlanta to Pensacola and, as we approached to land the pilot announced that we may have to turn back because of fog. Apparently he changed his mind and decided to try landing and I am sitting there by the window watching the when the fog finally broke. We were barely above the tree tops and I could see the runway was about 500 yards on the right side. The plane suddenly starting climbing HARD and we turned around and flew back to Atlanta.

It was a close one.”

4. Lucky

“I was traveling across Europe with my girlfriend and snapping lots of pictures along the drive as we went through various EU borderless countries. While entering Italy, my girlfriend noticed the “Welcome to Italy” sign and wanted a cliche couples photo. Naturally, I agreed and we got out of the vehicle, took our cringe selfie, and drove into Italy.

20 minutes into the drive we noticed that my girlfriends purse was missing. To contextualize the story, we had been carrying every important legal document we had while we were traveling in case something went wrong and we were stopped by police/TSA. This included our passports, citizenship cards, birth certificates, and drivers licenses. Essentially, this was everything that proved we were who we said we were and there were absolutely no other records of our existence elsewhere. All of these documents were in my girlfriends purse that was now lost.

We realized we had left them at the “Welcome to Italy” sign and I quickly turned the car around and drove as fast as I legally could (I had no drivers license) back to the border. By some miracle, nobody had grabbed the purse and we got al our documents back.”

5. Phew!

“Same happened to me in Paris Gare du Nord (very busy train station). Person I was travelling with left their bag in the cafe there, with all our passports and a bunch of cash in it. He didn’t realise till we got to our destination 3 hours away. Googled the cafe number, tried to speak French to the manager, and we think he is telling us the bag is still there.

Friend gets back on a train and travels 3 hours back to Paris, and it’s still there! So much stress, and a lot of unnecessary money on train tickets, but I’m very glad Paris didn’t live up to its pick-pocket reputation that day!”

6. Passports, please

“Pulled off a bus around 1 A.M. in the morning when I was travelling from Italy to Croatia. The guards at the border of Slovenia I believe stopped the bus. They got on the bus which was dimly lit and had their guns drawn with lights illuminating from the end of their weapons. They were asking everyone for passports.

Mine was in the undercarriage. I got dragged off the bus pretty roughly and was told to kneel on the ground while the driver looked for my baggage. There were about 4 or 5 officers and 1 was behind me with his gun drawn toward me. It could have been for light but it still felt f*cking intimidating. After viewing my passport and lecturing me on always keeping it on me we went on our way.

Slovenia was not nice. Croatia was beautiful!”

7. Don’t get arrested in Africa

“Got arrested by military police in Angola. My idiot colleague was flying a drone where he wasn’t supposed to and the MPs came down with AK-47s and detained us for hours. They clearly wanted a bribe but my idiot colleague kept insisting that they weren’t corrupt because they were police. The MPs finally got sick of waiting for their bribe and freed us after saying that our hotel called and “verified our visas.” They didn’t even know our names or what hotel we were staying in.

We almost got arrested a second time because my idiot colleague started flying the drone around again immediately after we were released.”

8. Terrifying

“Saw a guy murdered at about 3 A.M. outside Rome’s main railway station. This was back in the 1980s. North African illegal immigrants got into a fight and three guys kicked and stomped another one to death.”

9. Top four

“I had lots of them. Here is my top four:

Got stopped at the Slovenian border on our way back from a holiday in croatia. They stopped us because we didn’t have a sticker for their road toll on the vehicle. As we were clearly on our way back, we were charged with dodging the toll both ways. A few border guards complete with guns and dogs also searched our car, because we might be smuggling drugs. Didn’t go down to well with my then 3-year old son, because they took his teddy bear and wanted to slice it open.

Took a night bus from Mumbay to Goa. First scary situation: We were told (after leaving) that we had to changes buses, once we left Mumbay. Got dropped of on pitch black parking lot somewhere. My wife and I were deathly afraid for about an hour, then the new bus rolled up. Next scary moment: Bus stopped for a toilet/smoke break. Jumped out of the bus, lit a cigarette, turned around and saw the bus driver. Huge eyes, wild hair and obviously on something that had kept him awake for the last week and would keep him awake for one more… Next scary moment: realizing that almost the whole way is up and down mountains. I do know about vehicles, especially trucks and busses. Seeing the bus the next morning, made my knees weak.

Went sightseeing in Cape Town. Rode a bus around, walked a bit (all in “safe” areas), took a few pictures. At a traffic light a white man whispered in my ear: “Those black dudes followed you for the last two blocks, as did I. Watch out!”. Went into a coffee shop, trying to calm our nerves. Left an hour later, none of the black dudes around. But the white guy was again following us. Ran to our car and drove off.

Got mugged somewhere in the sticks in Jamaica. when is on holiday there with my parents. Was with a tour going to some waterfall, suddenly there is guy with a machete in front of us, waving the blade and yelling stuff. Gave him all the money we had on us, as the tour guide was telling us to. In hindsight: Might have been a setup by the tour guide.”

10. The bus

“Travelling by bus across Java solo when I was 21. Night time driving in heavy traffic, the bus pulls on to a rail crossing in gridlock. you guessed it, the lights start flashing and the barriers come down in front and behind the bus. We can’t go forwards or backwards and we can see the light from a fast approaching train coming towards us.

Everyone started screaming and ran to the front door banging on the glass and begging the driver to open the door. He either couldn’t or wouldn’t. Longest couple of minutes of my life.

I decided the front of the bus was certain death, went right to the back instead and was contemplating at which moment I should start kicking the window out when someone said (in indonesian, luckily I speak it) ‘its on the other track’. there was a moment where we all held our breath..and then the train passed inches from the drivers window in front of hte bus on the other set of tracks.

Afterwards everyone sat down and started laughing like it was totally normal and we drove on. I was sitting in my seat with eyes the size of saucers no doubt! Stayed with me that one.”

11. Be careful

“I was travelling around Zambia on a three-month holiday on my own when I suddenly fell deathly ill whilst in a backpacker’s joint out in the bush. I was throwing up bile and could barely move until someone found me after almost a day and got me to the hospital in Lusaka which was an hour’s drive.

I was apparently severely dehydrated to the point that my skin was malleable like clay. The doctor had to hydrate me through a drip because I’d throw up anything I tried to drink or eat. Honestly it’s incredible how much I’ve appreciated water since that event. The memories are all a little hazy from the event but I recall being in my hospital bed and all I could think about was a tall glass of frosty water. Moral of the story is when travelling alone, be careful.”

12. Assault

“Posting for my sister.

Her and friends were out drinking in Paris and when it was time to go home the Uber app wasn’t working so they started walking back streets. A gang with their hoods up pulverizes some dude in front of them to the point of almost death. She says they are shocked, and the group starts coming at them, then runs right though her and her group of friends and around the corner.

They spent a few minutes picking up this guys shoes and trying to ask if he was ok (while he’s covered in blood) but they didn’t speak French so they left when other people arrived.

PSA: don’t walk down dark alleyways”

13. Trapped

“I was traveling abroad for the first time, also traveling without my parents for the first time, at 19 years old. I’d gone to Japan with my best friend, and we got two separate rooms at the little business hotel we were staying in about 30 minutes outside of Tokyo. Japanese hotel rooms do not (typically) have tubs the same length as those you would find in the US, but they are very deep.

I was taking a bath one night when I decided to slide down onto my back and dunk my hair to wash out the shampoo, since the little faucet situation wasn’t really working for me.

I ended up stuck and unable to get myself back up from under the water. I was only a biscuit under 5’5″ and fairly thin, I was just perfectly wedged in there. After flailing around I finally managed to grab something I could use to pull myself back up.

My next mistake was telling my mother about it the next day when we called to update our parents on our trip.”

14. Shakedown

“Phillipines, mid-1980s. Olangapo City.

Was stationed in Okinawa, had a chance for a brief leave and took it. Went alone. At the time was a cocksure U. S. Marine in my mid-20s, very physically fit, and thought I could handle any situation. By the way, Olangapo City was outside the former U. S. Air base. City was full of desperately poor thieves and hookers. Preamble complete.

Walking down the street on my way to the Air Force base, a man called out my first name. I ignored him. He then called out my first and last name. Again, I ignored him. He then repeated my name and added in my hometown. Now I’m curious, so I walked over and asked where he got this information. “Your friend from Okinawa is here. He’s drunk at a bar and sent me looking for you. He needs help! Come with me!”

Stupidly, I went with him. (It was believable, as a lot of Marines would get leaves to the Philippines. This stranger announced his name, and I did have a friend with the exact same name due to arrive in a few days.) We get in a trike (three wheeled motorcycle) and him and the driver take me to the really poor part of town. We stop at an alley filled with numerous stalls and bars meant for the locals. About a hundred feet down the alley, we enter a bar. “Looks like your friends in the bathroom… Can you buy us a beer while we wait?” I asked the bartender (young woman) for three beers. After ten minutes, I go looking in the bathroom to find it empty.

“Time for me to leave,” I announce as I returned to the bar. “How much for the beers?” The bigger of the two men says this is a “very special” bar, and each beer is the equivalent of twenty dollars. I laughed in his face, turned around, read the menu, and gave the bartender the payment plus a nice tip. When I turned around to leave, both men are on either side of the door with butterfly knives in their hands. “You go nowhere until you give us all your money,” the one said while waving the knife in the air.

“I’m an American! There’s a military base just down the road. You’re not gonna do a damned thing!” Mustering up all my courage, I walked past them, then up the alley to the main street. I finally turned around to look, and they were not following me. The adrenaline rush, shock, fear, and everything else hit me all at once and I began vomiting on the street.

Later that day I learned that the hotel staff would sell your private information to people. Also, their friendly little ‘chit-chat’ during check-in at the hotel was also sold. I checked into a new hotel later that day.”

15. Hitchhiking

“Oh man, got a couple of these.

Hitchhiking in Serbia, my friend and I got picked up by this neo-nazi dude going into Belgrade. Kept talking about how his countrymen were slaughtered by NATO pigs in the Balkan Wars. My friend and I were Danish and American – as in, from two of the nations most involved in said slaughter. Pretended we were Norwegian and Canadian for a very tense hour-long drive.

Hitchhiking from Bulgaria into Romania, same friend and I were stuck at the border, which was a huge bridge across the Danube, and nobody would pick us up for fear that we were smuggling shit. Finally, the border guards allowed us to walk across the bridge, though the closest thing it had to a pedestrian walkway was a narrow ledge for guards and construction workers, that halfway across turned to pieces of rubble and rebar sticking out of the side of the bridge that we had to walk on, with the water 60 feet below us in the middle of night.

On top of that, we were greeted on the other side by Romanian border guards with machine guns who were very agitated, since they had never seen anyone walk across the bridge and assumed we were crossing illegally.

Got picked up by a guy in France who spoke of nothing but how he was the second coming of Christ and all the other prophets were fakes. Bad vibes.

Hitchhiking in the US, got left in Ukiah, California for the night, a horrible creepy little meth-town. Walked to the edge of town to sleep in a park at about 2 in the morning – turns out it was more of a national park, with warning signs outside about mountain lions, rattle snakes, bears, murderous tweakers and a fucking rabid fox.

Went to sleep next to the path leading into the forest, when, in quick succession, an unidentified animal started circling us, some person wearing nothing but shorts, a t-shirt and a tiny backpack paces straight past us into the forest (at 3 in the morning, mind you) and some car kept getting turned on and off somewhere right behind us in the empty parking lot. Got creeped out, got out of there, met a couple nice homeless girls who let us sleep next to their car and told us we were fucking insane to go to sleep where we did, since the place was murder city.”

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19 of the Most Satisfying Revenge Stories of All Time

Sometimes, people are rude. And rude people are just asking for petty vengeance. I know some of these 19 AskReddit tales of trifling retribution might seem over the top, but rudeness is simply not to be borne – not in civil society, anyway. In my experience, the only way a rude person learns to dial back the sass is by facing consequences. So I cheered as I read these stories, cheered for the cause of justice!

1. He wanted water…

Kid stole my water bottle. I opened it up and left it inside his backpack.

2. *GASP*

My sister posted a very anti-LGBT article on Facebook when the North Carolina bathroom bill was passed. She claimed she “no longer felt safe” shopping at Target if she might “be forced to use a bathroom” with a trans person. (The horror!)

So for her wedding the following month, I got her a Target gift card.

XOXO,

Your very gay brother ♥

3. That’s only fair

Someone in my office would always crush lunches with his gigantic lunch box. Either he ate bricks or lead, I don’t know, but I always came to the office fridge and found that my lunch was in pieces.

So, after three bouts of this, and numerous notes from myself and other colleagues, I carefully removed his lunch box, emptied the contents (a gigantic sandwich, a Twinkie, chips, some vegetable pieces, and a few other bits), and ran over them with my car. I carefully packed it back in, and put it back.

He kept his lunch in a cooler by his cube from then on.

4. lol, nice

My Ex cheated with a married man. He now lives with her. He is a POS.. but anyway, I still have login for her DVR. I logged in, erased all her shows, then recorded only the show “Cheaters.” Petty, but it makes me laugh.

5. Pop pop!

When I was a kid I got the Sabrina the Teenage Witch “Handbook” – it was full of kiddie experiments and stuff and was pretty fun.

My older sister had upset or annoyed me about something, so I tried out one of the ‘tricks’ from the book.

You fill a cup with water and some corn kernels, put some tinfoil on top of the cup, the kernels eventually pop and it makes noise against the tinfoil.

I put it under her bed, it takes a few days to “work”, so I completely forgot about it, until one night I woke up to my two sisters whispering – it had popped in the middle of the night and she thought there was a rat under her bed.

6. Mild irritation is the most fun level

My wife is very picky about the mugs she has for different hot drinks: Tall mugs for coffee, wide mugs for tea, dainty cups for fruit teas.

When she’s being irritating and asks for a cuppa she gets very plain, boring builders mugs and I delight at the mild irritation it brings.

7. Hello, Jim from The Office

Speeding up a coworker’s double click speed and watch him squirm when his normal double clicking speed isn’t working.

8. That’s a good point to stop

I once had a colleague I didn’t appreciate, so I put an extra Bluetooth receiver in his computer for a computer mouse and kept the mouse in my drawer. I would just open my drawer and it would mess his curser right up. Kept it going for like 2 months. He was about to murder the world when I thought I better stop.

9. Eff that guy

I had a guy in school who would always skip class and then ask for my notes. We had a group project worth almost 40% of our grade and he did zero work, and the prof told me tough luck.

Instead of just saying no the next time he asked for notes, I took the low road and began giving him edited versions.

I would leave items out of lists, incorrectly define things or just straight up write stuff that makes no sense.

An example of the crap I would put in: To calculate return on investment, subtract your yearly earnings from your current bank balance, then multiply by Echer’s factorial (4.22).

If he had even once bothered to crack the text he would have figured it out, but that apparently would have been too much effort for him.

He retook that class.

10. What’d he do to you??

Listing a Playstation 4 as brand new on multiple second hand goods websites, for $50. I used my old landlord’s phone number as the contact number, ‘cos that guy was malicious.

He had to change numbers.

11. These are…genius. You’re a genius.

I have two with a previous landlord / property management company.

I signed a lease on a townhouse while in college that “included high speed internet” … the setup was basically one awful router for 14x townhouses (so like 28 people). Needless to say it was crap, and the location of our unit vs. the router made it worse. We made some calls to try and get them to add a router or hardwire us in so we could add our own. No dice.

Eventually I paid to get my own service and added 2x routers in our unit. I changed the SSID to match what the “free” router was, and kept the passwords the same… so to the residents it looked like there was better coverage.

After about two weeks I changed one router’s password and just disconnected the other. So some residents could use the “free” router, some had a bad password, and some could connect but couldn’t reach the outside world. They must have been flooded with calls because within 24 hours they had someone out and added 3x new routers to help with coverage.

The other was after a huge snowfall (~24″ in 24 hours) …. the property management company hadn’t touched the snow in our parking lot for days … after day 3 I called to mention we were sort of trapped and they needed to send trucks / snow blowers / etc to take care of things… the response I got was basically “Sorry, we’ll get to it sooner or later”.

… side note – years ago if you opened a yahoo email, you could add a second email for recovery without confirming it.

I created a new @yahoo email address and used their general @Xpropertymanagement as the alternate email. I had it copy every email to both. I then signed up for alerts for every time there was an ebay listing for “snow plow” “snow blower” “snow shovel” or there was a “sale on X snow removal” gear…. it took a matter of hours before thousands of emails were sent. Ended up crashing their email server.

They responded to all residents with a very nice email explaining they get the frustration, and they’re working on it…. so I paused the alerts. 24 hours later, still nothing, alerts back on. Another email, another pause, another day of nothing, repeat. Eventually we got the driveway plowed and life was good.

12. That’s crappy! 

We had a guy in our office take a crap in the bathroom every day after lunch and it would stink up the whole office. The manager asked everyone who needed to vacate their bowels to please use the lobby bathroom since our office was small and we only had the one bathroom. He didn’t listen. Fortunately, he was like clockwork so 5 minutes before he went in I took all the toilet paper…. that’s right. I forced the man to live with a dirty bottom.

13. Playing with Himself

I used to work as a sound tech part-time at a nearby bar when studying for my computer science degree. It was great fun and even kinda relevant to my degree (and gave me a great excuse to binge on audiophile equipment).

So basically every Friday night we would give a slot to a band from the college to perform for an hour or so, and this rich guy’s son would always turn up in some band or another. He had all the fanciest gear (Fender Strat, distortion pedals, etc.) but his technique sucked. But to anyone who would listen, he was the next Jimi Hendrix blah blah.

One thing about this guy was that he loved to pump his volume through the roof and play these crunchy chords with the distortion amped to the max, in the process drowning out the rest of his band members.

So instead of hooking up to the mixer and then through to the PA system, I just routed his signal through to his in-ear monitors, and every time he performed his “solo” he would gyrate around the stage for no apparent reason.

Really the most petty thing I’ve ever done, but revenge is sweet. (I heard he still plays amateur guitar through the grapevine)

14. Brat

My boyfriend’s uncle and 7 year old cousin live upstairs from us. His cousin has a tendency to be a little brat. I was holding her yorkie when she came over and yanked her from my arms.

No more than 20 minutes later I went out and bought some dog treats. Everyday when I come home I give the dog a treat. Now the dog waits by our door instead of her’s.

15. That’s gotta be detention!

This dude in my accounting class in high school used to ask me for answers to questions, only to spout them to the teacher like he’d worked them out, thereby looking like a genius and getting credit for my work.

One day our teacher comes into class with a pierced tongue and is talking sort of funny. Terry, as his name is, proceeds to use it as a point of conversation. “Hey miss, do you have any other piercings, like your ear?” “No,”, she responds, thinking he’s making inane conversation. “Would you get your nose pierced?” He keeps asking, just to prolong the time before class starts.

As usual, he leans over asking for help. “What are some other good things to ask her?” I was annoyed that he always asked for my help to benefit him, so I thought I’d have some fun. “Labia, ask if she’s going to get her labia pierced.” “What is a labia?” he says. “Oh, sorry, it means eyebrow, that’s like the piercing name for it. Like how a tragus is that nose piercing, yeah?” “Oh cool! Hey miss, are you going to get your labia pierced next?”

Every girl, and especially the teacher, in the class looked at him like he was trash, and he tried blaming me, but I brushed it off gracefully.

16. Wrecked

Back when I was studying engineering, it occurred to me to try and find an app on my iphone for those Panasonic projectors in lecture rooms. So I get the app and it just let me connect to the one in the class without a password or anything. I have a friend who is one of those perpetual pranksters, you can’t leave your pc or bag or food/drink unattended when he’s around.

So I beam a picture of him onto the projector, so the lecturer is just talking away and this goofy picture of my mate is on the screen. Lecturer doesn’t realise yet, people in the lecture start waking up and giggling a bit. Now I use the pen function and draw a penis on the picture too. Mate was red in the face and trying to hide. Lecturer finally noticed and says “Michael why is there a picture of you on the screen?”

Finally for a fleeting moment I actually wrecked that dude.

17. …pretty sketchy boss

I had a 6 month school internship at a mobile phone store. The boss was a total jerk that treated his school-interns like full paid workers (even gave me some concerning money-responsibilities).

A while after the internship he called to tell me I would have to give a statement at court.

He had a problem with some customer and a shipment and he planned to tell the court that he explained me everything concerning shippings precisely. Of course he didn’t. And of course I didn’t lie in front of the judge. My boss’ attorney gave me a look I will never forget when he realized his stupid plans didn’t work out. Few weeks later my now ex-boss tried to call me again. I didn’t pick up.

18. Good, that guy sounds like a jerk.

Work related- My co-worker was always complaining and always lazy with his work, yet he got recognition for the simplest thing he would actually do. He also took credit for a full days work that was pretty much all me. I always got ignored. So one day, I came in early and I unplugged his Ethernet jack just barley to the point it looked like it was still plugged into his computer. For 4 hours he couldn’t do any work. Meanwhile, I got my work done, and he couldn’t take any credit for it since everyone knew he didn’t have Internet access. Half way through the day, he left on break, I plugged it back in and bam, just like this it was working. By then, he couldn’t claim my work, and I begun to get noticed more.

19. PWNED

When I was about 13, I was snooping around my older brother’s room and found a stack of 20 dollar bills stashed away. He was saving up from his high school job to buy a car. Hundreds of dollars. To 13-year old me it was a fortune, and I figured he wouldn’t notice if I stole just one 20 — still a lot of money to me. So I did.

For years I would remember it every once and a while and feel guilty. The worst part was, when I took the 20, he was also a teenage kid and probably knew exactly how much money was there. He probably knew I took one but let me get away with it because he figured I needed it. That made me feel much worse.

15 years later, I’m hanging around with him on the holidays. I see that he left his wallet on the counter, and he’s upstairs. I sneak into his wallet, see there’s a few 20s, and I slide an extra one in there. Got him!

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19 Creepy, True Stories That Might Ruin Your Sleep Tonight

Ready for some nightmare fuel…?

Have you ever had something happen to you that made your pulse pound and your adrenaline kick into action? Something so scary that you had to take a moment or two to recover?

You may need a moment to recover from just hearing some of these 19 (scary af) true stories from AskReddit. The people who lived them certainly did:

1. Dancing Man

About five years ago I lived downtown in a major city in the US. I’ve always been a night person, so I would often find myself bored after my roommate, who was decidedly not a night person, went to sleep. To pass the time, I used to go for long walks and spend the time thinking.

I spent four years like that, walking alone at night, and never once had a reason to feel afraid. I always used to joke with my roommate that even the drug dealers in the city were polite. But all of that changed in just a few minutes of one evening.

It was a Wednesday, somewhere between one and two in the morning, and I was walking near a police patrolled park quite a ways from my apartment. It was a quiet night, even for a week night, with very little traffic and almost no one on foot. The park, as it was most nights, was completely empty.

I turned down a short side street in order to loop back to my apartment when I first noticed him. At the far end of the street, on my side, was the silhouette of a man, dancing. It was a strange dance, similar to a waltz, but he finished each “box” with an odd forward stride. I guess you could say he was dance-walking, headed straight for me.

Deciding he was probably drunk, I stepped as close as I could to the road to give him the majority of the sidewalk to pass me by. The closer he got, the more I realized how gracefully he was moving. He was very tall and lanky, and wearing an old suit. He danced closer still, until I could make out his face. His eyes were open wide and wild, head tilted back slightly, looking off at the sky. His mouth was formed in a painfully wide cartoon of a smile. Between the eyes and the smile, I decided to cross the street before he danced any closer.

I took my eyes off of him to cross the empty street. As I reached the other side, I glanced back… and then stopped dead in my tracks. He had stopped dancing and was standing with one foot in the street, perfectly parallel to me. He was facing me but still looking skyward. Smile still wide on his lips.

?I was completely and utterly unnerved by this. I started walking again, but kept my eyes on the man. He didn’t move.

Once I had put about half a block between us, I turned away from him for a moment to watch the sidewalk in front of me. The street and sidewalk ahead of me were completely empty. Still unnerved, I looked back to where he had been standing to find him gone. For the briefest of moments I felt relieved, until I noticed him. He had crossed the street, and was now slightly crouched down. I couldn’t tell for sure due to the distance and the shadows, but I was certain he was facing me. I had looked away from him for no more than 10 seconds, so it was clear that he had moved fast.

I was so shocked that I stood there for some time, staring at him. And then he started moving toward me again. He took giant, exaggerated tip toed steps, as if he were a cartoon character sneaking up on someone. Except he was moving very, very quickly.

I’d like to say at this point I ran away or pulled out my pepper spray or my cellphone or anything at all, but I didn’t. I just stood there, completely frozen as the smiling man crept toward me.
And then he stopped again, about a car length away from me. Still smiling his smile, still looking to the sky.

When I finally found my voice, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. What I meant to ask was, “What the fuck do you want?!” in an angry, commanding tone. What came out was a whimper, “What the fuu…?”
Regardless of whether or not humans can smell fear, they can certainly hear it. I heard it in my own voice, and that only made me more afraid. But he didn’t react to it at all. He just stood there, smiling.

And then, after what felt like forever, he turned around, very slowly, and started dance-walking away. Just like that. Not wanting to turn my back to him again, I just watched him go, until he was far enough away to almost be out of sight. And then I realized something. He wasn’t moving away anymore, nor was he dancing. I watched in horror as the distant shape of him grew larger and larger. He was coming back my way. And this time he was running.

I ran too.

I ran until I was off of the side road and back onto a better lit road with sparse traffic. Looking behind me then, he was nowhere to be found. The rest of the way home, I kept glancing over my shoulder, always expecting to see his stupid smile, but he was never there.

I lived in that city for six months after that night, and I never went out for another walk. There was something about his face that always haunted me. He didn’t look drunk, he didn’t look high. He looked completely and utterly insane. And that’s a very, very scary thing to see.

2. Fortune

I’d been living alone for less than a week. I got some Chinese take-out and was eating in front of the TV. I finished my meal and cracked open the fortune cookie. It read “You will have a visitor tonight, lock your door.” There were no visitors that night, but the memory still haunts me.

3. On the Tracks

I watched in horror as this drunk seeming guy fell (maybe it was on purpose, but I don’t know) onto a commuter rail track just as the train was coming. The sound/sight of him getting run over (crunching, splattering, awful) has stayed with me for life as the scariest, brain scarring thing ever.

4. Hitting the Ground

I was on vacation in Ithaca with my boyfriend at the time.

We had literally, I’m talking 10 minutes, just gotten into town and stopped at a suspension bridge near Cornell’s campus. I’m terrified of heights and, so, my boyfriend was coaxing me step by step over the bridge. It was gorgeous and we stopped at the middle to take a picture.

On the side we had come from there was a parking lot with steps leading to the bottom of the gorge but on the far side there were hiking paths with no barrier.

A woman walked past us and offered to take a picture for us. We declined and she smiled and walked quickly to the far side of the bridge where she smoothly jumped off into the gorge. There was not a second of hesitation, it was almost like she expected the path to keep going.

The sound of a person hitting the ground from a jump like that sticks with you.

5. “It had been unlocked the whole time”

I was about 15 minutes from finishing the night shift at work when there was a massive crash on one of the windows in the office so I get up and go to check it out. Someone has thrown quite a sizable rock through one of the windows on the front of the building. This is made especially weird because I’m working in the industrial district at 11:30 at night with none of the other businesses open. I go back to my desk, put a quick call through to security to let them know and decide to head home. As I’m leaving the building I’m freaking myself out about it more and more and end up running to my car, getting in and taking off. I’m almost home and I’ve started to calm down a bit when I realise that I didn’t unlock my car when I got in. It had been unlocked the whole time. I do a quick check with my hand in the backseat for any possible murderers that might be hanging around there but there’s nothing there.

Fast forward 30 minutes: I’ve called a friend of mine who says he is out drinking so I decide I’m going to join him. I jump on my bicycle and start riding over. I’m doodling along the road on my bike, it’s a nice night and I’m in no big rush, just enjoying the moonlight when I hear someone riding behind me. I straighten up and stick to one side of the road. He passes me really slowly and, when he is right beside me, he shoots me a smile I can describe as purely fucking insane. I kind of flinch and am taken aback as he rides on. That’s when I realise. He is riding my mom’s bike.

Needless to say, I sprint the fuck home. When I get there, sure enough her bike is missing and one of my car’s doors is open. The back left one. I was driving, and had no need to open that door.

6. Falling

I was standing on my balcony when I saw some drunk guy flash in front of my eyes. I was on the tenth floor and apparently he fell over from the twenty-first floor. The split second he passed by, I got to see his look of fear, shock, disbelief and a whole bunch of other emotions before he fell to the floor in a thud and crack. You could just tell he was dead.

7. It took you 8 years?

After living in my house alone for 8 years, I came to the realization that I had closed a lot more doors than I had opened.

8. Camping Alone

A group of friends was staying at this remote cabin that one of my friend’s cousins owned. There were no roads leading to the cabin, and it was a good 3/4 day hike from where you parked the cars.

I couldn’t go at the same time as everyone else due to work obligations, so I decided to head up the same day but later. It would mean I would have to camp for a night by myself though (the latter part of the trail is too dangerous to be taken at night, especially by someone who doesn’t know it). I didn’t care, I was kind of looking forward to it as I’ve never camped alone before.

So I was in the middle of these woods when the sun went down. I got my camp set up in this small clearing. Probably 40 feet across. Get my camp fire going and pitch my small, one person tent. Do all that camping stuff like cooking hot dogs on a stick over the fire and s’mores. I probably stay up for a good 2 or 3 hours after dark (it was mid-autumn so the days were somewhat short).

The entire time I thought I heard shit moving in the woods on the edge of the clearing. I didn’t think anything of it at first cause the woods are full of animals, but as the night went on I realized that whatever it was was just circling the clearing over and over. Once I started paying attention it made 4 or 5 laps around before I decided to get up and investigate. The noise stopped as soon as I stooped up and I thought I heard some sounded going away through the woods.

I just shrug it off thinking it was some fox that was curious that got scared when I stood up. I decide its time to sleep, douse the fire and climb into my tent. I start to doze off and stay in that half asleep half awake state for a while. I normally hear weird shit when I’m in this state, so I don’t think much of it when I hear a voice.

Something wakes me all the way up though and I realize the voice is real and right outside my tent. Its just above a whisper and I’m not sure if it was another language or if they were just speaking English in such a way that I couldn’t understand.

I lay there for some time, I don’t know how long, listening and waiting for something to happen. There is just enough moonlight to light up the walls of the tent, so I can see when a hand presses into the wall of my tent down near my foot. This freaks me out and I sit up quickly. Who ever was outside of the tent tore ass out of there. Like running full sprint through the woods.

I get out of the tent and shine my flashlight around and see nothing. I was expecting there to be a bloody handprint on the tent, but nope. Didn’t sleep that night, packed up camp at first light that morning and booked it to the cabin.

9. Who’s There?

I was once in a hottub with some friends late at night, and we were all telling some stories. One of the guys told us this one, a story of a girl he knows (not sure if it’s true, but multiple people in the hottub who knew her verified it was true):

So one day, this girl was called over to babysit. She did it a lot for these people, so it was routine for her.

Anyways, she was told to put the kids to bed at 9, and she did. After she put the to bed, she started watching TV and doing homework, waiting for the parents to come home. But then, she started hearing some noises coming out of the basement, like pans falling and stuff. She just ignored it, and thought it was the washing machine or something. Anyways, a little later, she starts hearing the noises again. She decides to call the police, and tell them she was hearing noises coming out of the basement at the house she’s babysitting at.

The lady at the station told her there’s a patroller in her area, and that he’ll be at the house in about 20 minutes. Anyways, in about 5 minutes, she hears a knock on the door. She answers, and it’s a full swat team. She asked, “I thought they were just sending a patroller..” and one of the guys told her, “After you hung up the phone, we heard a second phone on the line hang up.” Ended up there was a man in the basement, listening to the conversation. The lady in the station waited and heard him hang up, then immediately sent the SWAT team to help. They went downstairs and caught him; he was wanted for multiple cases of rape.

10. Fucking Seagulls!

I saw this little bird walking on the street when suddenly a seagull grabbed it in it’s mouth. Seagull started to smash this helpless bird against the ground few times. After a while it ate the bird and I saw a bump on seagull’s neck like the bird was stuck in it’s throat. Then it flew off.

I was just standing there and said: “What the fuck, seagulls shouldn’t do that.”

Fuck seagulls.

11. Signals at Night

I was playing around with a radio once when I was a kid, just slowly spanning through the static trying to find a station. I had found an old television antenna, attached it to the side of our house and ran a wire out my window to it with an alligator clip attached to the radio antenna, allowing me to get a way broader range of signals.

So I’m sitting there, early in the morning (like 2am), slowly sweeping frequencies, and suddenly I get to this station that’s playing this very weird crackling sound. It sounded sort of like cracking knuckles, or maybe Rice Crispies cereal, but with a fixed, rhythmic pattern instead of being random. I sat there listening to it for a second, then it suddenly stopped and this faint voice says “It doesn’t work. We’re already dead. We’re already dead.”

It took a second for the weight of the words to hit me, but when they did I freaked the fuck out and almost threw the radio across the room. I’m pretty sure it was just someone messing around with a radio transmitter, but damn if it didn’t scare the shit out of me at the time.

12. “Don’t EVER do that again!”

My dad died of cancer the day I turned 16 after about two weeks in a coma. It was really fast – less than two months between diagnosis and death. He died in the house. (we had a hospice attendant and my mom was very good about seeing to him in those final days).

Anyway, a lot of weird shit happened after he passed, but the one that still freaks me out when I think about it happened about 12 hours before he took to bed for the last time. He was in our living room napping on the couch while my mom was in the kitchen cooking. No one else was home.

Suddenly, he jerked awake and was shouting for my mom in a very loud, agitated voice. Clearly angry with her. “Beverly! Don’t do that! Don’t EVER do that again!”

She ran into the room, alarmed and asked what he was talking about, and he said, “Don’t do that. Don’t walk past me like that in that long, black wig.”

Sometimes I think he saw death.

13. Night Dive

This was a few years ago on a night scuba dive. There were 8 of us in the group including our dive master and his assistant. We had just finished our dive and were gathered up in a circle ready to ascend and get out of the water when my dive master freezes. He takes his flashlight and pointing it outside our circle of divers he catches something circling us with the beam. Turns out it was a 12 foot long great white shark. At this point half of the group are trying to keep the shark illuminated as it circles us and remarkably everyone stayed calm. The only things going through my mind were iterations of these two thoughts, “don’t look like a yummy delicious fatty seal, and that I hope I taste terrible.” My dive master gets our attention and slowly puts his thumb up and then makes an upward motion. We all begin to ascend and the shark kept with us until we were maybe 10 feet from the surface. Then it turned off into the darkness and was gone. I did not go back into the ocean for about a week after that.

14. New House

My parents bought their first house back in 1972. It was a fixer-upper, but they decided to move in right away and fix things as time/money permitted.

Within a few days of moving in, the new neighbors came over to introduce themselves. They also let my parents know that the previous owners had moved out after a nasty divorce. They had lost their second baby from SIDS, and their relationship went downhill from there.

My parents were horrified, more so because they were newly pregnant and couldn’t imagine going through such a thing.

They eventually pretty much forgot all about it. Life went on. They were in love with their new life and their new house.

In preparation for the baby, they decided to wallpaper the nursery. Now, my Dad told my mom there was no need in wallpapering the inside of the closet, but she insisted. She was kneeling down, scraping off old paint inside of the closet when her eyes fell upon something that made her blood turn to ice.

Written in crayon, at about eye level for a kindergartner, in childish scrawl was: I KILLED THE BABY.

15. “I was the only one in the house”

Woke up one night around 1am, heard the shower was on… I first thought it was my brother, he works night shifts, so thought he had came home late and was in the shower… It went on for about half an hour until i got up and went to see wtf he was doing… No one was in the shower, my brother wasn’t home yet, i was the only one in the house. Still to this day, i have no idea how it turned on or who did it.. Almost 5 years later i still think about it and shit myself… Even writing this now i feel like turning every light on in the house…ahah whyyy do i do this to myself!!

16. Ghosts

I housesit for a family friend when she goes out of town. The woman who lives there is really into a bunch of spiritual stuff – new age stuff, reiki, etc. The very first time I was housesitting, I was outside watering the plants. I was the only one there and had closed the door after me. From the driveway where I was watering, I had a completely unobstructed view of the front door, the only door that was unlocked at the time. When I went back inside, there, on the little table next to the front door was a half eaten cookie. The table had been completely clear when I went outside and I hadn’t seen cookies that looked like that anywhere in the house. Nothing too creepy, but very puzzling and unsettling.

When the woman returns, I mention it to her and she laughs and says she “gets ghosts all the time.” I’m a fairly skeptical person, but honestly, ghosts were the best explanation.

The next time I was over, I was pooping around 10:30. The house itself is fairly old and creaks from time to time, but nothing too loud or disruptive. While I was pooping, there comes a single loud knock from the other side of the bathroom door. This wasn’t a little creak or pop from the house, it was a loud, determined rap on the door. It was enough to scare my poop back in for the rest of the night.

17. It happened “right behind the door”

One of the scariest things I ever heard was when I worked in retail. My stored used to do layaway and that was where I worked. Right by the layaway counter We had three bathrooms. A Men’s multi stall, a Women’s multi stall and a family bathroom. Well only the family bathroom had a door that locked all the others had the push/pull swing door. I was in the back cleaning up and I thought I hear screaming so I walked out front by the counter. I heard more screaming. I was not sure at first where it was coming from I ran and checked the men’s and women’s bathroom and they were empty and I still heard the crying and screaming. It was coming from the family bathroom. I banged on the door but the yelling, screaming crying kept going on. It sounded like a child and I had no idea what was going on. I called for a manager because I had no way of getting in the door since it was locked. This whole time there is still crying, screaming banging. After several attempts of trying to open the door we called 911. We had no idea what we going on but it didn’t sound good. I think about fifteen minutes at this point, although it felt forever. Then the sound check stopped. No more banging, crying nothing. We banged on the door until the police came.When they finally did they had to kick the door in since we had no key. As we all stood around and looked in all we saw was blood all over the place.

We were not really sure what happened at first but the police told us to back up and that is when they pulled out a lady and a child. A bloody child, maybe 3. We all just stood there in shock. The child was not moving, we thought he was dead because of all the blood. They took the lady away in handcuffs and the child to the hospital.

We all had to give statements. Later my manager told me what happened. She just snapped becayse he wouldn’t stop crying and she just had enough and did whatever she could to make him stop. The child did live. I was sure he was dead but he wasn’t she had just knocked him out from hitting him so hard.

This story is not scary in the ghost sense but for that to happen right behind the door and not know what is going on or be able to help was pretty scary to me.

18. “Something in the middle of the woods catches my eye”

Well, I’ll never forget this one…

My wife and I used to live in a townhome that backed to some woods. We both took off work one day to get some things done in the yard, cutting the grass, weeding our large flower beds, laying mulch etc.

Our yard wasn’t big; it took about two full grass clipping bags. I would walk a couple of feet into the woods and dump them in a pile.

As I’m walking back to empty the second bag, something in the middle of the woods catches my eye. Something out of place and it’s moving.

I crouched down to get a better look and I just froze. At first, I could make out a pair of shoes just swaying back and forth and then was able to see the legs and body of a teenager. There in the middle of the woods was a teenage boy who had hung himself. Next to the tree, I could see a skateboard leaning up against it.

I yelled for my wife to call the police and started running back to try and save him but he was gone. His body was limp and his head was was just slumped over. His dark scruffy hair was slowly blowing in the breeze.

The cops came and quickly cut him down and they were gone.

As it turns out, he was having problems getting along with his parents and this is what he decided to do.

19. Organ Music

Years ago, I lived in a townhouse above the an old couple that were the landlords. This was in the historic section of Albany, NY near the park. The landlords were in their sixties, maybe early seventies. This place actually had a plaque on the front of it saying it was built in 1880-something and that some rich state senator had lived there. There’s places like this all over the area that had been subdivided and rented out.

I lived there for a year and every now and then, always while I was trying to sleep, I would hear faint, organ music accompanied by some rhythmic banging sounds. I always have slept with a fan to drown out any ambient noise and sleep better. This music was just…floating through my room. No one was above me. Just the old people who went to bed at nine below me. I would get up and try to find the source of the sounds but it just seemed like it was everywhere and nowhere.

Since I never heard any music or anything from any other room, and I never heard that music during the day, I concluded that it was the ghosts of previous occupants that had lived there decades before. This actually affected my decision to live there again when my lease was up. The old couple even offered to knock $50 a month off the rent if I resigned. That would have amounted to nearly a month of total rent over the course of a year. I thanked them, but declined, opting instead to live in a newer place.

Flash forward a couple of years. My friend is having a party. He invites some coworkers that he used to work with at the state. I’m talking to one dude about all the places in Albany I had been in. He’s lived in several, too. After some conversation, we find out that one of his friends used to live in that exact same apartment before me. I’ve never told anyone about the music and banging I would hear there but I just have to ask this guy if his friend ever said anything about the place being haunted. His eyes light up when I ask him.

“You’re not going to believe this!” he says and starts thumbing through the contacts list in his phone. He dials his friend. When the guy answers, he gives him a brief overview of the conversation we had been having then hands me the phone.

“What’s up, man? Yeah, I lived there in 2003. You heard the music, too? That was the landlords having sex below you. I swear to God. I actually asked about them about it the morning after I had heard it for the tenth time. The old man sheepishly explained that he was banging his old lady. He apologized and said they’d keep it down. The funny thing is, it seemed to get louder and louder over the last couple months I lived there. It was almost like they wanted me to hear.”

The mystery was solved. That organ music I had heard was literally organ music that the old people would have sex to. Somehow, that was creepier than it being ghosts.

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15 Bartenders Share the Strangest Conversations They’ve Overheard

One perk of being a bartender: hearing all the drunks and weirdos tell their tales. People spill out their guts to barkeeps, and even if they’re not being directly addressed, you know they’re still listening to everything going on on the other side of the bar.

In this AskReddit article, bartenders reveal the weirdest conversations they’ve ever heard on the job.

#1. Awwwww

“Even though we were busy, I clearly heard a women say to her friend, “Hey look, the bartender’s really cute.”

Friend: “No he’s not!”

Response: “Oh yeah, you’re right.”

#2. Negotiations

“Work in a downtown hotel bar right across from our convention center. I’ve heard way too many negotiations between businessmen and escorts.

Last one I heard involved the guy asking the lady how much extra she would charge to let his friend watch.”

#3. Classy

“Had a husband and wife who were by far the most rude people I’ve ever encountered, talking with a traveling business man. By the end of the night the business man was propositioning the woman to go back to his hotel room for some money.”

#4. Lots of cheating

“Lots and lots of cheaters. It’s weird that serial cheaters take their girls to the same spot.”

#5. Heated argument

“I’ve bartended but my favorite conversation was overhead while I was on the other side of the bar. “Look all I’m saying is Grand Theft Auto severely ruined our generation’s perception of how many police helicopters exist.” Sounded like they were getting really heated over the matter haha.”

#6. Tennis ladies

“I bartended at a country club, and there was this one group of tennis-ladies that would always sit at the bar and get absolutely sh*tfaced on weeknights at our wine nights. They took a liking to our main bartender and kept calling him exotic (he’s Mexican), they would say how love his beard, would talk about their fav (not tennis related) positions, how they kept their nether-regions tidy, slip him their numbers, how sh*t their husbands were, etc. Gave me death glares every time I’d be bartending/bar backing with him lol.”

#7. So obvious

“On Valentine’s Day this year, we had a guest who accepted a FaceTime from his girlfriend while his side-chick was with him at the bar. He angled the phone so his girlfriend wouldn’t see the girl, but it was so obvious.”

#8. Categorize them

“I overheard a woman who worked for a New Zealand online dating service, and was basically a profile censor. She described her job as being 80% dick pic removal, and had seen so many she could divvy them up into a few distinct categories.”

#9. Shady business

“I heard some chick say “and the worse part about it, is that lucky bastard got a whole gram of crystal out it for free.”

#10. Now I’m in love with myself

“I hated myself until I discovered masturbation.”

#11. Hahahaha

“Two businessmen having after work drinks on a Friday, where the conversation built up to one of the sweetest sentiments I’ve heard. At first the usual “Lemme tell ya, you’re a good person. I love you man.” Later on (still fairly basic): “Fuck the wives! Hey, you and me, we buy motorcycles!”

To finally this gem: “If a tornado were to blow you away… I would fly after you.”

#12. Adorable

“Guy: “I think I’m going to need a coke chaser for this one.” Girl, presumably SO: “we already did all the coke…” Guy: “Coca Cola, you idiot!”

Not even the most memorable, just the most recent. For sure, a real snapshot into their relationship.”

#13. Wonder how that worked out…

“I once listened to three people have an in depth discussion about how they were going to kill the “local vampire” and the steps to take to protect themselves from the coven that said vampire is surely from.

My favorite though what a heated debate over whether the first Robin would be a crime fighter if Batman hadn’t picked him up and trained him.”

#14. Sounds fun

“I once heard a guy tell his buddy, “It’s fun, it’s like laser tag but with real guns” That was twenty years ago and to this day kick myself for not getting the whole story.”

#15. These are on the house

“A customer is on the phone in the middle of the bar, not too crowded but a long bar. Guy couldn’t have been more than 25. I go to help someone at the end of the bar and on my way back I overhear:

“No, I don’t care! She’s my sister, she is THIRTEEN and there is no reason she should be doing cocaine! At all!”

Gave him a few drinks on the house that night.”

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15 People Reveal the Rudest Thing a Guest Has Done in Their Home

A good houseguest is respectful, keeps things relatively clean, and maybe offers to do the dishes. A not-so-good houseguest…well, here are 15 stories of what that looks like:

1. It’s a simple request

I’ve made this post before so I’ll just copy paste it here:

Not my house but my car. I don’t have many rules for passengers when I’m driving but there are two I will never budge on.
1: Wear your seat belt.
2: Do not smoke in my car.

I had just bought a car, it wasn’t brand new but I knew the previous (and only) owner and I knew he was a car guy who took meticulous care of his cars inside and out. He wouldn’t even sell me the car before he had given the engine a proper service. Within a week of getting the car a friend asked for a lift to the train station, I knew he smoked so as we walked to the car I told him specifically to wait until we get to the station before he lights up (a 10 minute ride at most).

I back out of the parking spot, drive to the exit of the parking lot and as I check my left hand side for oncoming cars I hear from my right the distinctive sound of a lighter sparking up. Dude could not even fucking wait until we were out of the fucking car park before he just had to have his goddamn cigarette. I ask him what the hell he thinks he’s doing and he just looks at me and says “Relax, it’s not like it’s a new car.” Fucker ended up walking to the train station.

2. I hope they paid the plumbing bill

my 10-year-old distant cousin unwrapped 3 new bars of soap and flushed them down the toilet on the 3rd floor of my house. That night, we returned from dinner to find water dripping from the ceiling on the first floor—the third floor bathroom had flooded and the water leaked through the floor, dripped from the ceiling of the second floor, and leaked though to the ceiling of the first floor. the whole mess cost thousands of dollars to repair.

the kid confessed everything with great glee and his mother just thought it was the funniest thing.

3. So disrespectful

When I was in university, one of roommates asked if a high school friend of his from back home could come visit and stay in our apartment for a night or two. I agreed, but I was writing midterms and was stressed beyond belief so I firmly requested that they not party at our place so that I could get to sleep uninterrupted.

I came home from the library at 11pm and they were both shitfaced. My roommate was passed out in his bedroom, there was rank-smelling puke all over the toilet seat, and his friend had brought a girl home from the campus bar and was currently having sex in my bed. WTF.

I kicked his (and her) asses out of the apartment, and then ended up doing laundry at 11:30pm because my sheets were sweaty and covered in their fuck-juices.

I no longer speak with this roommate.

4. Who does that?

I had a collection of 1$ casino chips, one from every casino I had been to. A housemate invites some people over and a guy sees them sitting somewhere and starts playing with them. I figure the guy likes to fidget so it’s no big deal. Guy ended up taking a bunch a mismatched casino chips and even apparently tried buying a drink at the bar with them. Luckily one of the other guys he went out with got them back to me but seriously? Who does that?

5. How not to handle an accident

My cousin and her daughter, who has down syndrome, were visiting and staying with me in my home. Her kid pooped in a quilt, and for some reason my cousin rolled it up and shoved it in the closet in the guest room without telling me.

I discovered it after they left (it was rolled up pretty good so I didn’t smell it immediately) because my dog stood in front of the closet and barked nonstop until I came and found it…She was so offended by it and didn’t stop barking until it was completely cleaned up, haha.

Edit: I called her and said, “I found the quilt from your bed rolled up with poop in the closet…what happened?” And she said, “Oh, daughter had an accident. Sorry!”

6. Why?

I let a guy I knew from college crash at my place for a few days when he was in town for a conference. Fed him, drank a bunch of liquor with him, etc. Thought I was being very hospitable. He had an early flight so on the last day he left before I woke up. Went into my bathroom and saw he had taken my bar of soap and written some stupid song lyrics all over my bathroom mirror. This was the master bathroom so it had two sinks and the mirror was like 8 ft by 4 ft at least. It was huge letters and there was more soap than mirror. Took me hours to get it clean. Like what the fuck dude.

7. Three weeks of drama

We had two couples come to stay with us from overseas and one of the couples spent the entire time arguing and getting into massive fights. This included screaming, crying, slamming doors, sulking, the works. For three weeks. It was the longest three weeks of my life.

8. True friends

Stole $100. But this story has a happy ending.

When I was young I had three friends over, all of them brothers. The oldest was my age, the middle was a couple years younger (same age as my brother), and they had brought their youngest brother with them. He was a little bitch.

Well that day my dad let me hang onto a $100 bill because I thought it was cool and had never seen one. I showed it off to my friends and left it on my side table. I didn’t even notice it go missing.

Well, here’s how the story goes. My friends had left, and when they got near their house, the youngest brother pulled out the $100 and said “hey guys, look what I took.” The two older brothers got pissed. They dragged him crying all the way back to my house, handed me the $100 that I hadn’t even realized was missing, and forced him to apologize. Friends of integrity right there.

9. Who dyes their hair at someone else’s house?

My really close friend brought his now ex girlfriend that was super controlling over while me and a few other friends were hanging out, about thirty minutes in she decided that she is going to go into my super white bathroom and dye her hair black, not only this but if you’ve never dyed your hair before you must rinse your hair out to get excess dye out. She ended up staining my white counters, bath tub/ shower, floor, two decorative towels, my carpet outside the bathroom and my toilet. I was so irate and I don’t think she understood that you do not do this shit in someone else’s house without asking them. Literally everyone that was over including me told her to get her now just showered naked ass out of my house. I was so done because she just stained soooooo much shit that will not come out easy. It makes my blood boil thinking about it now.

10. I would just burn it

My boyfriend invited a couple dudes over while I was at work because we only have a 1 bedroom apartment and I don’t always enjoy sitting there watching them game. It was considerate. Anyways, he was asleep and they were gone when I got home since I work 3rd shift. I noticed my new bathroom mat was discolored and assumed it was from shoes and didn’t closely observe. Anyways, I made him look at it with me when he got up because I was a bit mad since it was brand new. Upon further observation, we came to the conclusion that before leaving, his friend wiped shit all over my new bathroom mat. It turned out to be brown finger streaks across the whole thing! Threw that out immediately. The toilet paper was readily available BTW… They are not allowed in the apartment anymore, and it was weird because they weren’t on bad terms they actually wanted to hang out again.

11. Not for sitting

we had a party at our house. Guests ended up using the bathroom in our bedroom as well because of lines on the guest toilet. We have (had) one of those “only attached to the wall and no legs to support” sinks on top of a slim long shelf kinda thing. They sat on the damn thing and broke it. I was beyond belief how someone could sit on something that looks, feels and very obviously shows it is not made to carry weight and is not supported.

Now it has legs…

12. Always clear the browser history

Oh i forgot this one! A friend of a relative stayed with my parents for a week, the guy was Argentinian, late 50s. He was very old fashioned, religious etc, for example, he even told my parents that it was wrong that i was living with my boyfriend without being married.

One day he asked my mum to use her PC “to check his email” was in there for quite a while, riiiight.. You guessed it, he was watching porn, but i guess he didn’t remember the website he wanted because he first googled in Spanish “young ladies with dark hair having sex” and a few variations of that. My mum found all that in her Internet history, called him out, he tried to blame my (then 16 year old) brother, who had his own PC, speaks mostly English (wouldn’t have googled in spanish) and was away in a camping trip

He wasn’t welcomed back.

13. At least there was no meth

I was going to post about the time I was really angered by friends of friends staying and emptying our bar fridge (it was fully stocked with beer), emptying the wine fridge (also stocked), and a random bottle of bailey’s (none of these things go together?!? Heathens) and not offering to replace any of it, while making themselves completely at home and even inviting guests over to view “their place.” But in reading these, I’m starting to feel much better that no meth was involved – maybe it’s time for me to let that grudge go.

14. So. Gross.

My grandfather’s cousin was staying with us a for a week; he has a bladder problem and would refuse to wear adult diapers! What followed was him leaving a trail of pee (sometimes poo), when he walked around the house… didn’t take too long for my mother to ask his son to take him back home.

15. Poor kiddo

I was babysitting my neighbours daughter. My neighbour was supposed to pick up the girl hours before and didn’t answer any of my messages prior. I got the living room ready just in case if she was gonna stay the night. It was close to midnight and he finally came to pick her up. The dad ranged the bell and when I answered the door he was sooo wasted. He barged in and walked past me to go to kitchen and everything that was in his grasp, he literally destroyed. He went to the fridge and drank juice straight from the carton. He then walked back to the living room where his daughter was, then was spewing random shit to her and mid sentence he vomited all over my couch and passed out after.

EDIT: For those of you asking;

Yes he did apologize and paid to clean the couch.

The daughter at that time just started first grade, so she was probably 6 or 7. She’s very smart, so she was aware of what was going on.

Did I call CPS? Yes. He turned out to be an alcoholic and it wasn’t the first time he has done this.

The post 15 People Reveal the Rudest Thing a Guest Has Done in Their Home appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Reveal the Worst City They’ve Ever Visited in Their Lives

What’s your worst travel experience of all time? A place you never want to go back to because it left such a bad impression on you?

I can’t say I’ve ever been anywhere that I truly despised because I’ve always found good and bad in every place I’ve visited.

But these AskReddit users sure have strong opinions about this subject.

Share your thoughts in the comments.

#1. A British entry

“Slough. Full of grey buildings, endless industrial estates, half-assed ‘modern’ architecture and mobile phone accessory shops. And it’s surprisingly expensive to live there. However, it produced my mom who is the nicest person ever.”

#2. Not normal

“Grew up in Johannesburg, South Africa. It’s entirely unmaintained, and has a very unique style of absolute apathetic violence against innocent people. I moved to New Zealand and years later realized that hearing screams that ended in the sound of a gunshot wasn’t a normal thing to go to sleep to during the night.”

#3. Middle East

“Baghdad.

Food wasn’t that great. Traffic. Roadside bombs. Air quality wasn’t great.

For a city I’ve been to not at a time of war, Cairo was one of the most disappointing and disgusting experiences I have ever had in my life. Everything is a tourist scam.”

#4. Rough city

“Camden, NJ – where I found my car sitting on blocks with its wheels removed.

Our friends sold their Camden home at a huge loss just to get away from what they called “a nightmarish place to live.”

#5. Sounds awful

“Baker, California

If you’ve ever driven between Vegas and Southern California, you know what I’m talking about. It’s constantly the hottest place in the summer. Literally 10 degrees hotter than 5 miles down the road. The gas prices are insane. They have an alien themed jerky and hot sauce store (which is pretty awesome). And they have the worlds tallest thermometer because that town is the butthole of the country.”

#6. Not a good place

“East Saint Louis, Illinois. It would have to improve to be a ghetto. Broke ass buildings, broke ass roads and broke ass people. Don’t even slow down on your way through.”

#7. The Philippines

“Angeles in the Philippines.

It’s the home of a former US Air Force base, but that base got destroyed by the Pinatubo volcano.

Angeles became the town where aging and fat former US military personnel goes on vacation to relive the heydays of their youth. One where you’d rent one or more women for the night for next to nothing. One where you walk into a bar and see those men feed shots to young girls, followed by empty laughter because they really don’t have a lot to say each other: they’re all just passing time until they go to their seedy bedrooms with the girl for the night and their one shot.

The city has nothing else going for it, no industry or anything. Their life blood was cut off when the base closed and they had to make do with sex work.

We were passing through while visiting the destruction of the volcano and stayed for 2 nights.

And here’s the thing: I forgot my pouch with money, credit cards, passport in that seedy hotel with mirrors on the ceiling when I left for the next city, 4 hours north.

And when I returned half a day later to pick it up, the lady at the reception said “we found it and put it in a safe.” Everything was still there.

(Note: this was 20 years ago. Things may be different today).”

#8. Ugh

“Dubai. A monument to excess and unhealthy consumerism built on slave labour. Once your awe of the magnificent buildings fade it feels like a soulless tourist trap with a sinister undertone. Everything just feels off. I think it’s an abomination of a city.”

#9. I’ve heard this from numerous people

“Niagara Falls (US side) was depressing as sh*t. We went with low expectations, because we were only going there for a punk show and figured we’d stay in the tourist district and see the sights, and still left feeling disappointed.

The falls were cool, but the few blocks surrounding it are full of sh*tty, crowded tourist traps, and if you leave that small area you are immediately surrounded by extreme poverty and sketchy neighborhoods.

A local told us that pretty much all of the money made in the area gets sent back to NYC because that’s where the companies who own the casinos and business are located, so nothing really ends up going back into the local economy. A lot of bullsh*t. Show was good, though.”

#10. Camden again

“Easily Camden, New Jersey. I only went there to see a show at the venue there, but driving to the venue looked like I was in a third world country. I also took a wrong turn when walking from the show to my car, and it got sketchy really quick. Camden is such a sh*t hole!”

#11. What a nice place!

“Paisley Scotland.

Watched a bunch of kids get their ass kicked for gang beat ins, then bought Chinese food from some guy who tied a tshirt around his hand to stop the blood.”

#12. Haiti

“Port au Prince, Haiti

The place makes the infrastructure of Gary, Indiana look state of the art.

I haven’t been back in 20 years, but it began with leaving the airport. You go through the exit doors to be completely mobbed by people. I can’t tell if they are trying to carry your luggage for money or just outright steal it.

The one time we flew in after dark….holy shit getting a rental car was an adventure. Evidently they keep the rental cars off the airport property at night. We got driven to this steel walled compound to get our rental car. The doors open and men with rifles come out to cover our entry. They had this makeshift bunker type of thing they jump into.

Driving? The roads have potholes you could bury a body and the car that the body was driving in. We used to rent a 4×4 SUV just to drive on the public roads. Power lines down everywhere, no road signs…..just hire someone to drive you.

Police and customs? Corrupt beyond belief.

Poverty? The worst I have ever seen. The tin huts in the shanty towns were about the size of my walk-in closet back in the states. I always recall my driver telling me about the locals eating dirt. There was good dirt to eat and bad dirt to eat. I have no idea WTF made dirt good or bad to eat (I guess they would mix it with some type of fat and make like a pancake or cookie out of it). The water in those shanty towns? It was a common well that looked like a mud puddle where a 3 year old just spent the last 20 minutes tap dancing in it.

The people were wonderful for the most part. There were some really bad parts of town, but for the most part people were good to us.”

#13. Not a fan

“Its a tie between Kayenta, AZ and Cuba, NM. If you get out of your car, you will be swarmed by feral or abandoned dogs and drunk locals asking for gas money. Very tough to avoid colliding with drunk drivers or adopting a dog when driving through.”

#14. Don’t go out alone

“Fayetteville, North Carolina. Never go there alone or at night. Most of the shops cater to the tastes of young men, because of the military base.”

#15. UK

“Blackpool.

Its talked up as a great seaside destination with a world famous pier. Its awful, dingy, grey and signficantky worse than Scarborough and Bournemouth.”

Idk about you, but I definitely just made a few mental notes…

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10+ People Share All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Horror Stories

Buffets are kind of disgusting. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy them, but they are pretty gross. Certain types of foods seem to get about 1,000% more revolting when offered buffet-style (Chinese, pizza, etc.).

Sometimes, what’s even more disgusting than the food itself is the folks who descend on these buffets to do the unthinkable. Take a look at these tales of gluttony from AskReddit, and maybe you’ll think twice the next time you plan on heading to Chop Suey #1 Family Buffet.

1. 7 years is…a lot

7 years of pizza buffet experience. I’ve seen salad bowls full of ranch. I’ve seen huge gluttonous Southern Baptist preachers with a stack of pizza because they’re too fat and lazy to make that many trips. We had a regular who came in 2 times a week. We called him “belly shirt guy” who would stack a whole pizza on each plate per trip on top of unlimited pasta. His gut hung down below his shirt. Great turn around for him though because he started eating salads every trip. By the time I left the man has lost a good 75 lbs and actually looked healthy.

2. Chocolate Fountain

A few years back when Golden Corral first got the chocolate fountains, I went there and was going to try it out. As I was walking up to the fountain and I started to contemplate what I was going to have, a toddler takes his drink and just pours that motherfucker into the fountain and ruins it. So anyways, the manager comes over and is going ballistic because they had just set it up for the day and now they would completely have to replace the chocolate. Shortly after, this man comes up and decides he wants some chocolate brownies, but he can’t as the machine is being purged in the back of the place, so what does he do? The guy just puts his tray down and leaves the restaurant, goes to the toddler’s family’s car and slashes their tires. He was never caught after that.

That man was a different kind of devoted that the world needs.

3. “Had to sleep it off”

I don’t work at a buffet, but I was that guy.

I’d been backpacking on the Appalachian Trail for a couple months (it’s a 2,100 mile hiking trail that runs from Georgia to Maine, along the US Appalachian Mountain range). Been eating nothing but ramen & instant oatmeal since Gatlinburg. I was getting hungry, OK? I was having dreams about meat.

So my friend and I hiked down from the trail to this tiny town, Catawba, Virginia, that only has one restaurant, the Homeplace—All You Can Eat Fried Chicken.

We walk in. We sit down. A waitress brings us a platter of fried chicken and a basket of homemade biscuits. And whenever we start running low, she brings another platter.

It’s not like most buffets, where the food’s crappy and watery and sugary but at least it’s unlimited. No. It’s the best damn fried chicken I’ve ever tasted. Crisp and juicy and greasy and just perfect.

Me and my pal gorge on fried chicken. Eat at least 5lbs each. I’m starting to feel very uncomfortable, so when the waitress shows up with the next platter, I wave her off. She clears the table.

And then she comes back carrying a motherfucking blackberry cobbler.

So we polish off the cobbler (it would have been impolite not to), pay our bill, grab our backpacks from the foyer & stand on the porch, contemplating the 1,500′ climb back up to the trail. And it becomes obvious that there is no conceivable way we are climbing back up to the trail tonight.

So I go back inside and ask the hostess if there’s anywhere to camp here in town, and she tells me, “you’re welcome to sleep in the gazebo out back.” Apparently, this happens all the time.

EDIT: we were not the only hikers in the gazebo that evening. These two other dudes came in later and ate harder and had to sleep it off with us.

4. Fight!

I watched a fight break out between a customer and a manager at an all you can stack restaurant.(You pay for a plate, and you can take as much as you can stack on a single plate) Anyway this guy had his plate stacked about 12+inches high with food. As he was reaching for a serving spoon he dropped his plate. He demanded another and the manager got pissed and told him he shouldn’t have stacked it so high. He refused to give the man a refund, he pointed to a sign that said something about paying for dropped food. Apparently wasn’t the first time this had happened.

5. Steak

My little brother nearly got kicked out of a Ryans steakhouse. When he was like 12 he had a crazy high metabolism and put away like 5 steaks from their buffet at once. Went to get a 6th one and the guy grilling them up forbid him from getting another one. Manager was called, my dad got pissed, brother got his 6th and 7th steak. Was a good night

6. Good ol’ Southern cooking

Once witnessed a man eat 4 plates of food piled high (I’m talking southern food, so it was all fried foods) claim he was having a heart attack and clutch his chest, then let the biggest, most foul smelling fart I have ever experienced.

After he laughed about it, he continued to go back and eat two more plates of entrees, and a plate of desserts.

7. Wait, what?

Not an employee, but still relevant.. when I was a kid, my mom, dad and I would go to a Chinese buffet quite often. My dad would put a mountain of food on his plate then never finish it. He’d then proceed to lay down in the restaurant floor and take a nap.

He also did the mountain of food thing at other places like Golden Corral, but he only laid down in the floor at the Chinese place.

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Guy Documents Weird AF First Week of Work at Target. Spoiler: People Are Strange

When you start a new job, a million things go through your mind.

Will I fit in?
Will my co-workers like me?
Am I as stupid as my mother says?

Okay, well, maybe some of us have different thoughts than others, but when Tumblr user kimpossibooty was hired as a cashier at Target, he did what every good millenial should: document his days there to share with all his internet friends later.

All jobs have their quirks, but apparently this particular national superstore really brings the weirdos out en masse. Prepare to be spirited away to a land of misfits, freaks, and mutants.

And next time you’re at your local Target, take a closer look at your fellow shoppers…

Day One:

  • Sold lingerie to an eighty year old woman
  • Got a free salted caramel frappacino from the suspected gay barista, Parker
  • Sold a bra to the mom of a sixteen year old girl who was cringing the entire time
  • Had a very engaging conversation with a three year old boy about colors. We both like blue.
  • Served an old woman who I thought had an impressive mustache, but it was just nose hair
  • Watched her and two other women with her get trapped between two sets of automatic doors because they did not understand how to open them. How they got through the first set, I still do not know.
  • Sold fifteen gallons of kitty litter to a soccer mom who refused to break eye contact
  • Got a second free Starbucks drink. This one was a pumpkin pie one that wasn’t even on the menu. I like this barista man.
  • Gave dozens of children stickers. Several of them squealed when they got them. This is the best part of my job.
  • Sold an old man $200 of furniture and got him to sign up for a Target credit card. Before he finished the last step, he turned and walked away with his cart without a word.
  • He still hadn’t paid. I called him back and he apologized, saying “sorry, sometimes my diabetes makes me do that.” He didn’t finish getting the card.
  • A woman came up with $220 of items. After a wad of coupons and a stack of free gift cards from other promotions, her total went down to $55. I want her to teach me.
  • Saw a girl skipping down the aisle in what can only be described as a pink princess fairy wedding dress. She was filled with happiness and if I hadn’t been on the clock I would have taken her. At the very least, I want that outfit for my own.
  • Got approached by a large man named Jason. He told me not to steal. I will take this advice to heart.
  • Met a woman referred to only as The Cat Lady. She asked if I wanted her to buy me a keychain from Ross. I told her I had no keys. She nodded solemnly and walked away, whispering their exact location inside Ross, just in case.
  • Got called into the HR Head’s office at the end of my shift. I was expecting to be yelled at for some reason. She and another lead showered me in compliments for ten minutes straight, saying a lot of managers had been saying great things about me all day. Not what I expected, but I’ll take it.

Day Two:

  • Intimidating farmer man in overalls and pigtails came through my checkout. He bought a bucket. He spoke no words. He made no eye contact. He left me with questions.
  • Three college boys came through, each buying spandex and makeup wipes. They spoke no words. They made too much eye contact. They left me with more questions. I question when this job will provide answers.
  • A three year old came through, pushed by his personal chauffeur. He bought one small Spider-Man onesie. He carried out the entire transaction on his own. He was the most polite customer I have had so far.
  • Three people walked away without their change. Only two returned.
  • A man bought thirty light bulbs with a coupon. He told me he did not need thirty light bulbs. He just likes coupons.
  • He then walked to customer service, claiming to have returned several things he did not mean to. He then walked a lap around the store and left. He did not leave the store with his light bulbs. They were nowhere to be found.
  • A customer came through looking nervous. She leaned over the counter. She whispered to me. Someone had pooped in the baby supplies aisle. All evidence pointed to it not being a baby.

Day Three:

  • Two children came through the line. They were chanting to their mom through heavy streams of tears. “WE WANT STICKERS MOMMY.” There were no stickers at any of the registers. They continued crying. I failed my people.
  • An old woman bought five bottles of wine and a large bottle of vodka. Her license told me she had lived through World War II. Her smile told me she was still living.
  • I sorted through the candy in the checkout lanes. I was meant to set aside candy that had expired in the last month. A box of Kit Kats was found that had expired in February of 2015. One was missing. I hope the poor sap is okay.
  • Clearance school supplies have arrived. A man bought 71 spiral notebooks for $6. A woman bought 110 folders for $4. I hope they meet each other. I would like to see the child of two math problem characters.
  • A bearded man named Rusty came through. I sold him a bottle of Crystal Light powder and a gallon of water. The powder was empty. The water jug had an inch of pink water left in it. How long has he been inside the store already. His beard intimidated me too much to ask.
  • An elderly man in a fedora pushed two full carts into my lane. They were both filled to the brim. He bought 52 12-packs of Mountain Dew. 12 were diet. He repeatedly told me he was 80 years old. As I handed him his receipt, he leaned in and whispered, “I’m going to get DRUNK.” He pointed at his carts, smiled at me, and scurried away with his definitively alcoholic purchase. I wonder if he knows. I wonder if he cares.

Day Four:

  • The store is having a 10% off your entire purchase sale. I have a coupon to scan if anyone asks for it. I scan it if people don’t ask for it if they’re nice to me. I don’t scan it if they’re rude. Power is a new sensation. Power is a good sensation.
  • Because of the sale, we have been flooded with guests itching for a bargain. When I need to go on my break, the manager has to stand in front of the line and tell people to go somewhere else. As the line died down, I prepared to leave. A new wave of people approached. She whispered to me “run as soon as you can.” I did not see her after my break.
  • An old man comes through the line and loudly announces that “this is a cash thing. No cards!” His clarity is appreciated, but also questioned.
  • A young man follows him. He jokes, “this is a card thing. No cash!” His smile shows he was a kind man. His joke shows he was a dad.
  • A confused teenager follows after. He whispers, “……….cash”. He thinks he has to announce his payment type. I do not correct him.
  • Children continue to handle their own transactions. This makes my day good. One girl had her own wallet and told me “thank you for your help, sir”. This makes my day great.
  • Five hours into my shift, I discover small figurines of Bambi and Pluto behind my register screen. Knowing that I am experiencing the happiest place on earth for a bargain price is nice.
  • A customer purchased hard salami. The store sells a product called hard salami. How anyone can work or shop here with a straight face remains beyond me.
  • A small girl waits in the cart as her mother pays for her transaction. She decides she had enough. She shouts, “Let me out of here!” She attempts to leave the cart. She realizes the walls are too tall. She sits down and accepts her fate with a shocking level of grace.
  • A grown man sees a coloring book on a shelf. He calls after his wife, who has already walked away. “There’s a coloring book here. This is just pitiful.” No one has any response for this.
  • I met a man who looked like Harry Potter if, instead of getting out of the cupboard at age eleven, he stayed in there for fifteen more years with nothing but Red Bull and My Chemical Romance albums.
  • A woman gets 69 cents back in change. I know that I will likely get reprimanded if I make a 69 joke to a customer. I do not speak to the customer any further. I am trying to decide if it is worth losing my job or not.
  • A little girl in basketball shorts kicks the candy rack multiple times. I expect her to turn around and show that she is throwing a fit. Instead, she seems calm and please. She is having the time of her life. I look forward to seeing where life takes her.
  • A child in my lane gets a toy. A child in the next lane yells at him for having a toy when he does not. Toy-having child prepares to throw the toy at toy-lacking child. Parents pick up their respective children. Thus ends the Baby Feud of 2016.

Day Five:

  • I open my register. An octogenarian woman approaches. She purchases bras and lingerie. I cry on the inside. It is too early for these images.
  • A small girl helped me put her parents bags into their cart. Every time I hand her a bag, she digs through it, announcing which things are hers and which are her parents, and putting her parents’ items in the cart without the bag. They did not earn the bag and she treats them accordingly.
  • A group of old people came on a field trip to Target and spent ten minutes discussing the new Jungle Book movie before buying a copy. Their reviews were overwhelmingly positive and gleeful.
  • The DVD ran $18.94. The group banded together, pulling out every coin they could find to ensure they gave me exact change. They must have had ten dollars in coins between them. The strength of their teamwork inspired me. The depth of their pockets confounded me.
  • A fly flew directly into my nostril before bouncing around and making a swift exit. I was more impressed by its aim than bothered by its decisions.
  • A woman seemingly stepped out of the 19th century prairie to purchase a frappucino. I think her dress was handmade. Her head scarf still had a price tag.
  • An old couple came through my lane to purchase gardening tools. Anytime one of them turned their back to the other, they would be tickled without warning or mercy. I believe I have just had a glimpse into my future.
  • A very angry old man pulled two full carts through. He purchased a Twix bar, a bottle of Diet Pepsi, 36 pairs of underwear, and 262 adult diapers. I believe I have just had another glimpse into my future.

Day Six:

  • I witnessed the man who talked to me about stealing following suspicious individuals through the store. He was like a private eye shark on a mission. The determination and simultaneous stealth and intimidation he possessed solidified him as my hero.
  • The computer made me card a man for buying Elmer’s glue. I questioned the computer. It gave no answers.
  • A soccer mom walked up to me, frappuccino in hand. She bought a large box of condoms, asked to have them outside of a bag, and then ran out of the store with them.
  • My stash of stickers has been restocked. I can once again please the masses.
  • My manager brought me a concoction he made behind the Starbucks counter. He told me it was meant to taste like a red Starburst. It tasted nothing like a red Starburst. It tasted exactly like a pink Starburst.
  • He also made me a Cookie Monster frap. It was a liquid Oreo. If anyone has contacts at Food Network, please reach out to him for a show.
  • A mother purchased her four year old daughter a Minnie Mouse stuffed animal. She asked the daughter if she wanted to hold it. The child whispered, “No. She is evil.” What does she know that I do not.
  • Another old man purchased twelve boxes of Mello Yello and eight boxes of Sprite. He saved almost as much as he spent. The old man bulk soda purchasing trend continues. I look forward to participating one in my later years.
  • Three team leaders tried to get a refrigerator through a door in a small hallway. The refrigerator was both taller and wider than the door. It took them 45 minutes, but once they succeeded, I was filled with pride.

Day Seven:

  • The Cat Lady returned. She purchased eight cans of cat food and a bag of chips. I asked how she was doing. She replied, “I don’t know, I just got here, this is all I want.” She appeared as confused as I was.
  • A small child was with his mother. From the moment they entered the store to the moment they left, he was shouting, “MOMMY THAT’S OKAY. MOMMY THAT’S OKAY. MOMMY THAT’S OKAY.” His words echoed around the store for the entirety of their visit. His message remains unclear.
  • A woman asked for a refund on a pair of sneakers for her infant. Mother returned, baby shoes, never worn.
  • An old man was dressed in a hat that read “SANTA CLAUS” with a Santa Claus shirt. I want to know his motives. It is only September 2, but I appreciate his enthusiasm.
  • Cat Lady came back. She purchased another case of cat food at the register next to mine. She then loudly announced that she wanted Chinese food. I am beginning to understand her.
  • I spent my break on the phone outside of the store. While on the phone, I was looking at my iPod. While on the phone looking at my iPod, a Best Buy employee walked by, and serenaded me with a song about me. The only lyric I heard was “I got two phones because I got two hands.” I appreciate his art.
  • A second grader sat in the back of his mothers cart. As they approached my lane, I heard him shout “Stupid snacks! I don’t want snacks! I want to go home! Snacks are stupid!” I haven’t disagreed with a person so thoroughly since I last heard Trump speak.
  • His mother pushed the cart behind her in the hopes of hiding her embarrassment. I asked her how she was doing. She said “Good”. Her son yelled “No good”. I asked if she found everything alright. She said “Yes”. Her son yelled “No we did not”. I appreciate his honesty, but after his opinion on snacks, I decided to pay him no heed.

Sounds like a great time…remind me not to apply to Target next time I get fired.

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