Category: Those Damn Kids

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Kids Who Had Some Completely Adorable Misunderstandings

Kids are really cute and one of the most adorable things about them is that they are truly discovering everything about the world and the beings that live in it for the first time.

They’re not dumb, they’re new here!

Here are 16 kids who were completely, adorably gobsmacked and confused by the reality of life on earth.

16. Making sense of English is hard.

No matter how old you are, tbh.

15. I can see how this happened.

Also…I think it could work.

14. Who knew Vaseline could be a gift from the gods?

Anything that stops them talking for five whole minutes.

13. Why not a “cloth?”

Because I think I could really get behind that one.

12. Yeah, because who wears wool?

It’s so itchy and we love sheep.

11. You really never can tell.

Perhaps that’s where her son got the idea.

10. No wonder my kids love Amazon so much.

Transformers have always been the bomb.

9. Yeah they are.

Sing it, little feminist.

8. Is there a story about how they got trapped?

She should definitely write it.

7. He’s not wrong though.

If we were just describing them by their personalities, I mean.

6. Because she doesn’t understand sad.

This is kind of beautiful.

5. Oh my god she’s going to do amazing things.

And completely delight the first man she poops in front of, I’m sure.

4. It really leaves you wanting more.

Never underestimate the effectiveness of a good cliffhanger.

3. That will level some playing fields.

Does he know what/where breasts are, though?

2. The best comedy is funny because it’s true.

So he’s definitely onto something.

1. I’m going to be thinking about this for awhile.

Should we start a petition?

Kids and their curiosity are less adorable when it’s the same question 50x in a row, am I right?

What’s the funniest misunderstanding you’ve ever had with one of your babies? Tell us the story in the comments!

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Parents Who Wish Their Kids Would Double Check Before Texting

Every last one of us is guilty of sending a text to the wrong person on occasion. I’m personally so paranoid about it that I’ll often double check two and three times (especially if I’m talking about someone, obvs), but sending something awkward to my parents has not, thankfully, ever happened.

These 11 parents no doubt wish it hadn’t happened to them, but well…it’s too late for that.

11. What is happening here.

Are drugs involved? #momquestion

10. Mom with the pop culture reference win!

I aspire to be this cool a Mom (even if she probably Googled it).

9. Yeah he’s not going to be able to forget that.

Also there are now bars on your window.

8. I think we all know the answer to that.

I am dying for this kid.

7. Just cuddle your mom!

You know it will make you feel better.

6. Dad with the jokes!

Ill-timed, but still funny.

5. This must be an adult child.

Thank goodness for small favors, at least.

4. You think it was a nice save.

Your mom wasn’t just born yesterday, though.

3. I’d like to see her answer that.

Twisting herself into a pretzel won’t be good for her back.

2. I don’t know if any of that was true.

But I mean…you don’t talk about someone’s Mama.

1. It’s nice to end on a wholesome note.

I wouldn’t mind getting this text, honestly.

The awkward is so unbelievably strong with these omg.

Has anything like this ever happened to you? Tell us about it in the comments!

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16 Creepy Things Kids Have Said

Kids say crazy things, but before the internet, we had no way of knowing whether our child was the only devil in town or if it was relatively normal for our young children to make us sleep with one eye open.

Now there are Twitter users like Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia), who encourage their followers to relate the creepiest thing a kid has ever said to them – and get so many replies – so we can all be equally horrified.

It’s only fair, don’t you think?

16. They just seem to…know things.

If only everything they knew was this amazing.

15. This isn’t one of the most overtly horrifying ones.

But man, it definitely sent chills down my spine.

14. Sort of sweet and comforting.

Maybe pick up some sage just in case, though.

13. Wow. That is really something.

I hope they did some research? I need a followup!

12. “His heart is sore, too.”

I’m crying, y’all.

11. Yep, time to go.

But maybe get the name on the mausoleum first, for research?

10. Did she seem sad, or…?

That would have been a long 12 hours.

9. I bet she says that to all the mommies.

But seriously, so many kids who talk about their other lives.

8. Time to do a cleanse.

Or just have a chat with “guy.”

7. He seems too old to say random things.

I would have been asking some followups…once we were out of the woods and around other people.

6. She was the first one to know.

Was she right about the sisters, though?

5. How do you explain that?

I wonder if she told her brother…

4. Time for a trip to the library.

Because I would absolutely need to know and also have you read Wait Till Helen Comes?

3. Maybe she says that to all the girls…

But maybe she doesn’t.

2. Sometimes they just know what they need.

It’s creepy, but also helpful.

1. I love cicadas and this is a great way to describe them.

They sound like summer.

I am legit terrified and am just waiting for the first time my kid says something like this to me.

What would you add to this list? Scare us in the comments!

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Parenting Tweets That Moms and Dads Will Feel Deep Down in Their Souls

All of us joke about the silly, odd, frustrating, and annoying aspects of parenting.

That’s it. That’s the pitch – no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

So you know, if you’re a parent, these 12 tweets are going to see all too real.

12. As long as there’s coffee, everything will be fine.

Mostly. Probably. Don’t run out.

11. I wish I was this kind of mom.

I am the opposite sort of mom.

10. Or make that squeaking sound.

Whoever invented those is the worst.

9. Isn’t it cute how they watch everything you do?

And then repeat it at the worst possible moment?

8. Kids are kind of magic, aren’t they?

For better or worse.

7. I think that’s why they invented a Ken.

Why else would he be necessary? He has no genitals.

6. Throw in some Netflix and he’s got it.

The trifecta, as George Costanza would say.

5. You still had to stop and listen, though.

It’s a parent rule.

4. It’s a step in the right direction.

Though I doubt she would have cleaned it up afterward.

3. This is actually a necessary thing in life.

Where’s the Kickstarter?

2. She was also accidentally very quiet.

And sitting somewhere very out of the way.

1. I don’t think a sore throat is a symptom.

Of course, you never can tell.

Isn’t it nice to know we’re not alone, though?

What’s the realest thing your kids have done this week? Tell us about it in the comments!

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14 Times Tweets From Parents Got Really Real

There’s nothing like getting a laugh at the expense of another parent, right?

I mean, you’re laughing with them, because you know for a fact that tomorrow (or in twenty minutes) your kid could be the one being tweet-worthy, right?

Because they have been in the past, and all kids are a little bit as$hole when it comes down to it.

So quick, before they turn on you – read through these 14 tweets from other real parents who are in the thick of it.

14. The thing you couldn’t wait to quit.

It becomes the thing that makes you openly weep over a bag of milk.

13. All’s fair in love and war.

Now go to your room and think about what you said.

12. Everyone is alive, though?

And now you get to do it all again!

11. Every woman knows that’s justifiable homicide.

Fingers crossed for a lady judge.

10. Don’t even bother because you’re never cleaning it up.

9. A mint in paper towels.

Or two loads of laundry every day instead of one. Take your pick.

8. Or around the blobs of food they dropped on you.

Or the drips of sunscreen that were supposed to be on them.

7. There is room for a third option.

Not much, though.

6. If she’s asleep, you want her to move just a bit.

Motherhood is constant contradictions.

5. Spoiler alert: It’s because he didn’t actually eat dinner.

He’s been holding out for snacks the whole time.

4. Or trying to teach a toddler how to do anything.

Maybe that’s just my toddler. *counts gray hairs*

3. And your partner can’t stop laughing.

Sounds about right.

2. That’s not a bad way to look at it.

It’s better than screaming into the void.

1. Oh come on we all forget words sometimes!

And stand in front of the open freezer trying to remember what we were doing.

I’m feeling relieved to know I’m not alone!

How are your kids today? Fist-bump for getting through it!

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Memes That Are Perfect for People Who Have Kids

I support every person’s right to decide what they want to do in life – kids, no kids, partner, no partner, a bunch of partners, whatever.

There are some things you can’t know, though, and that you definitely won’t find amusing, unless you have children – and these 12 memes fall into that category for sure.

12. I can’t imagine a better comeuppance for telemarketing.

The toddler will make anyone have regrets.

11. It is a truth universally known.

You also might have to take Dramamine.

10. Isn’t summer vacation lovely?

And now it basically lasts forever.

9. Nap time is sacred, y’all.

Never ring a doorbell between noon and four.

8. They will throw you under the bus every time.

They do not, and I can’t stress this enough, care.

7. Or they want to play a game on your phone.

Or they want a snack.

6. At a minimum.

We have a lot of together time to counteract right now.

5. You have to pretend there’s nowhere you’d rather be.

When everyone knows you’d rather be in Europe. Or getting a pedicure.

4. To be fair, you still don’t have to entertain them.

As long as you don’t let them kill each other.

3. It’s a grand, old tradition.

You understand your own parents so much better now.

2. You see their beautiful faces in person all day long.

All day long. Every single day.

1. Yeah, stop saying this.

We’re all aware that we’re supposed to be enjoying things and they go so fast.

Now that I’m part of the kid club, I definitely laughed at these.

What’s something you didn’t realize until you had kids? Tell us in the comments!

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10 Memes for Parents Everywhere

One of the truths of the world is that you can’t understand what it’s like to have kids until you actually have kids. The good, the bad, the ugly, the heartache – it all just comes out of nowhere.

Also, you can totally start to get jokes like these 10, which on some days, is really all you need.

10. At least she can still laugh about it.

And the kids are in on the joke.

9. I bathe my kids every day.

Because my husband gives them showers not because I do it. Ha!

8. How true is this, though?

And yes, it is weird if you think about it but we’re all too sleep-deprived to do that.

7. A scarily accurate description.

Especially the last part.

6. Except for the smell.

Most days, anyway.

5. This is the worst part of parenting.

I can’t wait until they’re old enough to make their own bowl of cereal at night.

4. Or just a regular week.

Keeping it real, here.

3. I’m pretty sure they learned it from my husband.

The dishwasher is RIGHT THERE.

2. Only every single night.

Why do they hate to sleep so much?!

1. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

Whatever that means, but this is brilliant.

On the days I’m questioning my life choices, I’ll be thankful that at least I can laugh at memes like these! And if we can’t laugh, well, time to hang it up.

What’s your best “ah, I get this now” story after having kids? Tell us about it in the comments!

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Tweets for Anyone Struggling With the Thought of Parenting for One More Minute

I’m not sure I’ve ever done something in my life that feels like a bigger contradiction than parenting.

I love my kids, but I could use a break. I want to do right by them, but I think I’m doing a terrible job. I want to hold onto them tight forever, but I want to teach them to be independent and happy.

It goes on and on and on, but if one thing is true, it’s that hearing how other parents are also struggling day-to-day can really put things in perspective.

These hilarious and heartfelt tweets definitely did that for me!

16. I’m sure he’ll miss you, though.

At least until he’s old enough to get his own phone.

Image Credit: Twitter

15. That’s if you’re lucky.

There are obviously fates worse than death, and toddlers know about them all.

Image Credit: Twitter

14. They are unfailingly honest.

I’m sure the day will come when we appreciate that fact.

Image Credit: Twitter

13. It makes you feel older than you already do.

What has happened to our once-sharp brains, y’all?

Image Credit: Twitter

12. So many terrible ways to wake up.

Having to clean the floor is up there, for sure.

Image Credit: Twitter

11. A more apt observation I have not seen.

Just say no to touching kids, period.

Image Credit: Twitter

10. Hey, they asked.

But yeah, I think that’s what they meant.

Image Credit: Twitter

9. It’s important to reward even the inanimate objects in your life.

I mean, it makes as much sense as anything else now.

Image Credit: Twitter

8. That’s definitely a rule.

Just because you didn’t know it needed to be one doesn’t make it less real.

7. You are raising this girl right.

Or she’s figuring it out on her own, but either way, I’m impressed.

Image Credit: Twitter

6. Same if you have toddlers and you find only the cap of a marker.

Thank goodness for Mr. Clean Magic Erasers.

Image Credit: Twitter

5. Some days it’s like their main goal is to drive you crazy.

And most of the time they succeed.

Image Credit: Twitter

4. As long as she’s happy, right?

And at least lemons smell nice.

Image Credit: Twitter

3. To be fair there’s not a lot else to do in there.

And you’re making them watch you go to the bathroom so turnabout and all that.

Image Credit: Twitter

2. I’m ashamed to admit how many times a week I say this.

To the kids AND the dog.

Image Credit: Twitter

1. I don’t even know why we waste our breath.

I think reverse psychology is a better bet.

Image Credit: Twitter

 

I’m just buckling up for this ride like the rest of y’all.

Unlike an amusement park, there’s no chicken exit, so hold on tight.

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When Your Nephew Says Someone Is Watching You Sleep…It Gets Creepy

Children say creepy stuff – so often, in fact, that there are threads and websites dedicated to parents and caregivers being able to tell their stories online.

Some of them are fairly mundane (as these things go), or even easily explained. We’ve sort of accepted at this point that kids can see things we can’t, and maybe even remember past lives since they’re so “new” to earth.

There are times, though, that I imagine it’s quite hard to sleep after a kiddo says something completely random and creepy…and this little boy telling his nephew that the “other man” watches him sleep and night definitely falls into that category.

I would think.

He’s told his cousin not to come into his room until he’s awake (because yeah, kids watching you sleep until you wake up is intensely creepy. The kid doesn’t listen (because he’s a kid) and finally, OP (original poster) got a bit huffy with him about following directions.

The Other Man Watches Me. from CreepyKids

The kid’s answer? It’s not fair that HE can’t come in the room when THE OTHER MAN watches OP sleep every night!

My face right now, y’all.

This guy had a good suggestion, and I hope OP has asked his nephew to draw this other man. I mean, because it’s important to identify the people in your room at night, obviously

Image Credit: Reddit

While this chap thinks perhaps it’s a person at the window, and cameras are in order. Just for peace of mind.

Image Credit: Reddit

And yeah..there’s the ghost angle.

Image Credit: Reddit

What do you think is going on here? Ghosts? Intruders? Kids being weird?

Tell us where you side in the comments!

The post When Your Nephew Says Someone Is Watching You Sleep…It Gets Creepy appeared first on UberFacts.

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Mistakes Only Exhausted Parents Could Make

There’s a reason sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture – it absolutely screws with your ability to use your brain in a responsible, adult manner. Decisions suck, you want to cry all of the time, and yeah, you definitely forget things you normally wouldn’t.

It’s all a haze, those first weeks and months home with a kiddo, but if you’ve got a good sleeper, it gets better after that.

If you don’t, well. Godspeed my friends.

I’m not sure if these 14 parents have bad sleepers, new babies, or they’re just having a hell of a week, but they’re definitely making mistakes only sleep-deprived people make.

14. There is nothing worse than burning cookies.

Because now you have to fight your kids for the good ones.

13. Man, that hurts the pocketbook.

I’ve melted stuff in the oven, but never anything this precious.

12. I wonder how long she contemplated whether or not she had to throw it out.

Just me?

11. At least she didn’t feed it to the baby.

Or did she? You’ll never know.

10. No, those don’t match, but also…

One is on the wrong foot?

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I just got this text from hub. ?#dadbrain

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9. If you’re a parent and say you’ve never done this, you’re lying.

Also, how many times have you reheated your coffee today?

8. That’s where they go, right?

Give yourself a pat on the back for cleaning up, my friend.

7. The tiny human will learn one day.

Karma is always waiting, even if it takes decades.

6. Yeah that’s not going to fit.

Also, babies don’t need socks. The proof is in how they will not stay on their feet.

5. You’ve just got to laugh.

Unless you feel like crying, because then, by all means…

4. That awkward moment you have NO idea what you’re doing.

Major brain misfire, there.

3. I’m impressed she didn’t need the microwave for two days.

How does she warm up her coffee?

2. I have found my keys in the car more than once.

On the roof, in the ignition…you name it!

1. Hey, that would save a whole step!

Fewer bottles to wash, too.

I remember those days, but here’s the good news – you’re so foggy you probably won’t remember all of the bonehead moves you made, anyway.

If you recall doing something totally stupid in a sleep-deprived state, share it with us in the comments!

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