Category: Social

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People Are Sadly Starting to Forget These 15 Important Things

As the world changes around us, the way we do things changes too. Life can change so quickly that before you know it, something you considered commonplace is gone in the blink of an eye.

Not only that, but technology is coming and going so quickly that not everything can stay in our brains. So, here are 13+ things the internet thinks we’re already starting to forget.

#15. Huh?

“How to burn CDs”

#14. The Spanish Flu

“Pandemic diseases like the Spanish Flu that wipe out large populations. It’s particularly worrying with western medicine losing more and more funding, drug-resistant bacteria, and idiots like anti-vaxers increasing the odds for viruses.”

#13. Ecological amnesia.

“Nature

100 years ago you could catch a cod that was six feet long off the coast of Newfoundland. Today you’re lucky if you get one that is a foot. The strange thing is that people are equally excited – now we just think that cod are max two feet in length.

Ecological amnesia is the term I believe.”

#12. Privacy.

“The importance of your privacy.”

#11. Just how fragile.

“The world wars, the cold war, and just how fragile and valuable this society we’ve built up over the last hundred years is.”

#10. Everyone just shrugs.

“The Equifax breach. I try and bring this up all the time. Legitimate personal data was stolen, SS and CC numbers, and everyone just shrugs. Or mentions the FB breaches as if they are comparable.”

#9. That was a weird year.

“The fact that there was a part in 2016 where clown chase people.”

#8. He killed two people.

“That Matthew Broderick killed 2 people with reckless driving and only had to pay $125 by saying he lost his memory. Edit: $175”

#7. Repercussions.

“That there are repercussions. I notice these days that if someone insults you, for example, and you return fire, they immediately seem to forget that they threw the first volley of shit, and then act like you’re the bad guy.

Maybe “accountability” is being forgotten too?”

#6. Available all the time.

“That people can take their time to respond, and need not be available through phone or social media all the time.”

#5. House phones.

Remember that when you wanted to call someone at home, you had to go through the gatekeeper. Usually another relative, you had to ask for the person to see if they are even there.

Tldr; House phones.

#4. Snoop’s murder trial.

Snoop Dogg was on trial for murder. Everybody knows Snoop as the rapper who smokes a shit load and cooks with Martha Stewart, but fewer people remember that he was on trial for murder. I think a lot of people are forgetting that gangster rappers were actually in gangs

#3. The meaning of songs.

“I always think about songs that will/have lost their meaning to a generation that doesn’t understand, and songs that aren’t too old like Paul Simon’s Kodachrome, and BNL’s Hook and Line, about keeping a phone off the hook to avoid communication. Life progresses; change is not all bad, but we do lose some things along the way.”

#2. Where the hell is that plane?

“That Malaysian aircraft that went missing several years ago. Where the hell is the plane??”

#1. Getting a degree.

“How getting a degree was only needed for a job; you could get anything you wanted and still go into a technical position. Now, your degree is essentially obsolete without the “right” degree or experience, or anything meaningful that makes your background better than the people you’re competing against.”

What do you think? Would you add other things to the list?

The post People Are Sadly Starting to Forget These 15 Important Things appeared first on UberFacts.

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Dad Defends His Son’s Desire to Wear Nail Polish…And The Internet Agrees

The term “toxic masculinity” gets thrown around a lot these days, but in case you forgot what it means, let us give you a quick reminder:

It refers to the culture of masculinity that aggressively promotes gender stereotypes in boys – not crying, sucking it up, fighting it out, wearing “boy” things and liking “boy” toys and the idea that anything less is feminine and totally unacceptable.

Many believe this mindset and the passing of it from one generation to the next has forced males to become emotionally repressed, unable to connect on a meaningful, personal level and too scared to show any emotion for fear of being judged. Basically, girls are allowed a larger realm of socially acceptable feelings and interaction-types that boys are denied.

Well, now that many millennial parents are in charge and aware of the dangers of raising boys in this way, they’re keen on changing the narrative for both genders. Dad Aaron Gouveia, is clearly in these ranks of new-style parents. Recently, he just about lost his sh*t in a Twitter rant after some other kindergartners made his 5-year-old son Sam cry because he dared to wear polished nails to school.

In many ways, Gouveia says, Sam is a rough and tumble “boys boy” but he just thinks polished nails “look beautiful” – and they do – and his parents have no problem with him dressing himself however he wants. But one day, he wore them to school, and everything changed.

“When my wife picked him up from school he collapsed into her arms and cried uncontrollably. He was devastated at how other kids turned on him, even his friends. He asked them to stop but that just made it worse. Only 1 kid stood up for him.”

The full thread is below, and I dare you to not cry by the time you get to the end.

Photo Credit: Twitter

The next couple of tweets really brought it home – no little boy is born with these toxic ideas of what a man should be, which means they’re learning it from someone/somewhere.

Photo Credit: Twitter

This big brother, y’all. This is what family is all about.

Photo Credits: Twitter

Go out there and encourage your kids to celebrate individuality, people – or at the very least to follow this oldie but goodie: If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

The post Dad Defends His Son’s Desire to Wear Nail Polish…And The Internet Agrees appeared first on UberFacts.

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Man Still Mows Ex-Wife’s Lawn Even Though They’ve Been Divorced for 28 Years

Now, this is a feel-good story. Even when a marriage doesn’t work out, that doesn’t mean two people can’t continue a healthy relationship and help each other out.

Photo Credit: Facebook

This now-viral post was shared by Codie LaChelle McPhate, the couple’s daughter. She wrote:

“This is my dad, mowing my mom’s lawn. They’ve been divorced 28 years. When my younger siblings questioned ‘Why is your dad mowing mom’s lawn?’ I told them ‘Because she needed help, and he knew she couldn’t get out here to do it, so he did.’”

Photo Credit: Facebook

McPhate explained that her mom has bad knees and her stepdad is often out of town, so her dad steps up and helps when he can.

“This is co-parenting. This is how lucky I am to have 4 parents who respect each other, and know that at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is showing your children (even ones that are 32 years old) how to treat people, and how to love your family, no matter how it came together,” she added.

In an interview with Scary Mommy, Codie said this helpful attitude isn’t new for her parents.

“They’ve never let on that their relationship was bad or good. It’s always been ‘we’re a family and that’s all you need to know. To this day, I don’t even know why my parents got divorced. My mom always said ‘it’s none of your business, it wasn’t your marriage, it was mine.’”

The two are a great example of how to parent through a tricky time. Children don’t need to be involved in their parents’ drama, they only need to know they’re safe and that they have a family who cares about them no matter what.

Photo Credit: Facebook

After the post went viral, Codie’s dad weighed in, proving that he’s still raising the bar. He said that he’s “not a saint,” but that “we should all choose kindness whenever we can.”

Amen to that.

The post Man Still Mows Ex-Wife’s Lawn Even Though They’ve Been Divorced for 28 Years appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Straight Guys Recount the Most Intimate Non-Sexual Moments They Shared with Another Dude

Our society tends to scoff at male bonding and fellowship, implying that intimacy is inherently female, which is simply not true. Men are just as capable of experiencing non-sexual, intimate moments with their male friends.

Men on AskReddit revealed their most intimate non-sexual moments they shared with another guy. Hopefully it’ll help even more guys open up and get real with their bro-friends.

1. Bros

“My fraternity brother/ roommate was having a bad day, we were all drinking but he clearly had the most and texted an ex, so I brought him back to our room to keep an eye on him. He got real sad and started crying, except he was insecure about his masculinity so he would cry for a few minutes about how he felt around other guys, then deny that he felt like that and this cycle would repeat every five minutes. Finally I broke through to him that feeling like this was completely fine and actually good (better acknowledging than hiding it).

I held him in my arms while he wept for about half an hour. He kept trying to push back because his every instinct was telling him that this wasn’t ok, but I just shushed him and rubbed his back as I held him. He eventually calmed down and went to bed. That happened two weeks ago and we haven’t talked about it yet, but I’m glad he trusted me, and hope he seeks me out if he’s feeling that ways again.”

2. Bromance

“It was my dads birthday. Went to the city for dinner. He sent me and my neighbor (who came to dinner with us) to get the car from the parking garage. It was raining so we were running. As were running through the streets of manhattan in the dark, lightning struck and thunder boomed. We simultaneously say “I love that” look at each other and keep running in the rain.

That night, a bromance was formed.”

3. Never spoke of it again

“I was at my buddy’s house hanging out. He had just taken a shower, dressed, and come out to the living room where I was watching tv. His hair looked odd so I grabbed his brush and started brushing it. For whatever reason I started channeling a French salon owner. I brushed it into different styles and we were both having a laugh.

His dad walked in the room and we immediately acted as if we were doing something terribly wrong. We hurriedly departed and never spoke of it again.”

4. A good friend

“My mom attempted suicide years ago. She was hospitalized for a month. I thought I could handle it but a week or two after it happened, I got into a fight with my girlfriend at a party and started crying. I couldn’t stop. I totally unraveled in a friends kitchen. My best friend put me in his car and we drove around while I sobbed uncontrollably. I’ve never been more emotionally unstable.

He didn’t talk, he just drove around. Then he dropped me off at home. I felt so much better. He never even brings it up to this day.”

5. New friends

“I broke up with my first serious girlfriend after 4 years and an engagement. She had been cheating and it was a messy end.

18 months later, we had managed to stay apart but I was having dreams about her. I was having lunch with my best friend and he asked me about it. I told him I had been having dreams where I was pleading with her to acknowledge me, that I meant something, that she loved me. I would wake up weeping, and in telling this, started crying lightly at the table. He asks what I miss most, I mention the jokes, the places we went.

He takes a breath and says:  “It sounds like as much as you miss her as your girlfriend, you miss the friend she was, too.”

Never dreamed or thought of her much again. Made some new friends.”

6. Adventure

“I was on a trip with a buddy. He’s an avid climber. The mountain we climbed together with the guide was waaaay over my skill level but we couldn’t tell till half way up. It was sheer ice. My buddy had paid a lot to be on this trip and I after doing some glacier climbing was invited along by the guide for free.

Twice I froze in terror. Clinging to the side of the mountain with just axes and my crampons and tethered to my best friend and then the guide and then the ice anchor. I couldn’t move. It was a combination of exhaustion and fear. I wept my buddy never once grew frustrated even though I was definitely fucking up his trip. He stayed calm and just said:
“Buddy you aren’t going to fall because we won’t let you fall. Even if you do you are attached to me and I sure as shit will never let you fall. After that I’m attached the the guide. He’s attached to the mountain. You are safer now than you are in your car everyday. Now breathe and swing that f*cking axe as hard as you can above you and start moving.

I did it. After 10 hours we reached the summit for the most earned view of my life. I hugged my childhood friend. We repelled down the other face in the dark with head lamps. I had no fear. I felt alive. He’ll forever be my brother.”

7. Ahem…

“A few years ago my plastered-drunk friend was too sauced to function and he threw up all over himself. Being his friend and roommate I helped him get cleaned up. Only problem was he kept refusing to take a shower. He was only interested in taking a bath (in hindsight it was safer and easier). So this f*cker gets completely nude and hops in the tub filling with cold water.

Almost immediately he’s screaming for my help, shivering by the time I’m in the bathroom. I fix the water and he starts crying saying he is “soooooo hu-hu-hungry.” So I go grab some saltine crackers and began to feed my naked friend in the bathtub.

So there’s that.”

8. Spoon session

“My best friend had muscular dystrophy. I’d been both his main bud for over ten years (all of which were past his life expectancy) and had to help him go to the bathroom, set up breathing machines, feed him, etc. All out of necessity and love at the same time.

When it became evident that his end was near, we refused to talk about it. I moved in with his family for a while just to be there with him, but we never discussed in words what was was going to happen…just kept hanging out as we always did.

One night, after about a week of getting up the courage to broach the subject, I asked him if he was afraid of dying. He said not at all, and that he was glad that I would finally be free of the burden of having to take care of him. This broke both of us.

This obviously was waaaay too much for either of us to handle and I laid in bed with him and we cried for what seemed like hours. We went over everything we needed to cover our feelings and our fears (and some logistics concerning certain things he wanted me to keep hidden from his mom).

He passed about a month after that, and after ten years since, I still wish I could go back and and lay down with him and hold him and cry and tell him how much I love him and miss him.

Best bro spoon session I’ll ever have.”

9. Bubble bath

“My friend got really super drunk and decided to take a bath with his clothes on. I, being the less drunk one, stayed in the bathroom to make sure he didn’t like drown or something. He ended up inviting me to join him.

Two bros, fully clothed, drunk, in a bubble bath at 2am.”

10. Ben

“My best friend passed from a brain tumor when we were both 19.

About 1 week prior to his passing, he was not remembering very much and he was continually eating without (due to the steroids and pain meds, I believe) going to the bathroom very often. He consumed way to much food over the course of a morning, around lunch he started vomiting in the most absurd projectile vomit stream you could ever imagine. 20 seconds of a stream the size of a fire hose going all over him, the couch, some on me and very little in the bowl I ran to grab him. The worst part was when it was done, and we were covered in vomit. He didn’t know who threw up or where it came from.

I picked him up, covered in vomit and carried him to the shower. He was embarrassed for his mom or any girls seeing him naked for some reason with vomit on him. I undressed him, and bathed him myself. Helped him soap, shampoo, dry and dress. It was the last time I felt he even knew who I was.

I miss you Ben.”

11. Weird

“Me and my friend used to masturbate next to each other when we were about 12yo, we did it several times and never spoke of it ever again. We just sat there chatting about random stuff while masturbating furiously. Weird.”

12. Exploring

“Not ONE clue why, but when me and my best friend were like 8ish, we were at one of my dad’s late men’s league hockey games. We never watch the games and just kind of explored and messed around looking for stuff to do. Well we found out some of the empty locker rooms were open and lights off. Perfect to explore as a kid right?

Well we explored more than i remember why. We casually bumped into each other in the middle of the dark room and our curiosity’s must have sparked. We started to just……rub up against each other and like dry hump each other. That went on for about 15 seconds when we both kind of snapped out of it at the same time. Still don’t know what triggered that kind of sexual eruption, but i have been trying to figure it out since.”

13. Well, that’s nice

“Had a friend say to me while I was feeling pretty down about myself and my looks that he would f**k me if I was a woman.”

14. A nice view

“A couple of years ago I went up to visit my friend in Minneapolis. His apartment was located right across the street from a music festival, so we hung out on his lawn drinking all day and enjoying free live music.

Later on that night we went out for a cigarette and started walking around his neighborhood. What started as a short cigarette walk ended up being a longer excursion as we made our way past the house into some forest area near some train tracks. It was really cool for me being able to see more stars than I was used to seeing back in Chicago and actually being able to walk from the city into nature.

We kept hiking and ended up next to a lake. He asked if I wanted to go swimming and I was like yeah, so we ended up skinny dipping in the lake. I hadn’t been swimming in a long time so it was especially fun for me and it was so awesome to swim at night with a cool view of the city across the lake.

It was such a beautiful view and night that we didn’t realize we were ruining the intimate moment of another couple too. While we were just two naked drunk dudes swimming in the lake by the moonlight, there was a couple on the shore that was trying to have a romantic picnic, complete with wine and a blanket. We thought we were alone until I saw them, but it’s funny to think how it was to see that from the couple’s viewpoint. One minute it’s a really romantic night, then out of nowhere two naked guys run screaming at the water.”

15. He needed it

“Talking another guy out of suicide. He just needed someone to listen. We hugged for a solid 30 seconds and he sobbed into my chest. Awkward looking back, but in the moment he needed it.”

The post 15 Straight Guys Recount the Most Intimate Non-Sexual Moments They Shared with Another Dude appeared first on UberFacts.

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13+ People Share the Moment That Forced Them to Grow Up Too Fast

Childhood is hard to fully appreciate until it’s over. There’s often a moment buried in our memory that we can look back on as the time we no longer felt like a child. Retrospectively, it can be easy to see how that watershed moment changed everything – which is exactly what these 15 people realized.

#15. A lot for a teenager to take in.

“Being diagnosed as a diabetic at 14. First I almost die from Diabetic Ketoacidosis (which i can assure you is extremely unpleasant) and then spend 5 days in the hospital getting a crash course on everything i need to do to keep myself alive from then on.

Counting carbs, checking blood sugar, how to determine the correct amount of insulin to give myself, how to treat loss, how to treat highs, what to do if I’m spilling ketones.

That’s a lot for a teenager to take in and process.”

#14. Both my parents

“When both my parents died in a car crash when I was 20.”

#13. A sophomore in college

“My bipolar started to fully manifest when I was a sophomore in college. I ended up making a lot of mistakes, ruining a lot of friendships, and dropping out of school. It’s taken 5 years for me to pick up the pieces of my fractured life. I’m stable, I have a well paying job, but man do I feel older than I should.”

#12. He wasn’t going to change

“When I found out that I may have leukemia. I took a hard look at my relationship with my fiance. He was not supportive of me at all. That’s what finally made me realize that he wasn’t going to change into the person I needed him to be. He had been prioritizing himself the whole time we were together and I finally had enough.”

#11. I had to step in big time

“Realizing in college how little money my parents really had and that I had to step in big time.. that matured me up really quick. Went from barely working and partying to handling 20-30 hour work weeks bartending and school.”

#10. He took everything

“In 2015 my dad kicked me out of my own house so he could live there with his new bitchy wife.

I had to file a report, get a lawyer and had him force removed from my house. Before that he emptied the place, took everything but my old bed. So there I was with no job a bunch of furniture to buy, bills to pay and a lawyer to finish paying. That moment was def a turn point in my life.”

#9. My dad’s third wedding

“The day of my dad’s third wedding.

I won’t go into too many details, but my dad married a chick he met on the internet and uprooted our entire lives, we immigrated to the states and everything. During the time they were dating, she seemed nice enough and I was pretty stoked to get a mom. Literally the second the ring was on her finger she started treating me poorly. She blamed me (an 11 year old kid) for leaving her purse at the venue when she’d never even mentioned I should look after it. It was still there when we got back but the damage was done. I knew she wasn’t gonna be my mommy but I still wanted her and my dad to be happy. Spoilers: they werent. It was a long 8 years of her treating me like crap and me trying to deal with it.

It worked out okay I suppose. I’m 26 now and while I always try to be kind to people, I don’t take their bullshit.”

#8. My mom’s death

“My mom’s death when I was 17.”

#7. Felt like I was taking care of him

“My father lost his job to due to his alcoholism, and then about a month later, my mother tried to take her own life by taking as many pills as possible. I was 14 at the time, and for a while felt like I was taking care of them, instead of me. I put my head down and told myself that I was going to do as best as I could in school, do whatever I could at home, and then get as far away as possible. The first two years were particularly difficult, but thankfully I had a set of friends that kept me happy and sane. I learned to silo my life which is still something I’m working on, but it made me realize a lot about adults and that parents don’t always have it together as they seem.”

#6. Makes you appreciate the little things

“Getting a gun held to my head whilst delivering pizzas. Makes you appreciate the little things.”

#5. She told me she was pregnant

“When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant.  I was in college and I went from planning where I was going to party the next weekend to graduating and getting a job in an instance.”

#4. I watched him bury our dog

“I realized my dad wasn’t unbreakable when I watched him bury our dog.

That day I watched the strongest man I had ever known collapse on his knees sobbing. And I realized that life is a lot tougher than I thought.

EDIT: I’m glad some of you have been able to share your stories. I hope it has been cathartic. Here’s to all the good doggos in our lives.”

#3. I’d be dead if it wasn’t for my kids

“Getting my fiance at the time pregnant with my son when we were 18. I was a total fuck up in school and after school, I was a drug addict, I didnt really have any drive. Then once I knew I had another human to take care of I figured my shit out fast. Took me a while to shake the drug habit fully but I’ve been fully clean now for almost a year. I’d be dead if it wasnt for my kids (I also had a daughter not long after I had my son).”

#2. I grew up that night

“I had a crush on an older guy since 6th grade. He invites me over to his place sophomore year. I go, we watch some movies and start making out. I’m a pretty straight forward type of gal and I am pretty confident. We start making out and all is fine, but he asks me to take my shirt off, and I didn’t want to. Slowly he keeps making me feel shitty about it, and he keeps pushing things further while I am adamant about not going any further. I keep saying no, but not leaving. I’m not enjoying this as it feels like I’m fighting to keep my innocence the entire time. He starts physically overpowering me and gets his hand in my pants and starts fingering me aggressively. I’ve had more than enough now and I’m not letting myself get overpowered more than I already have. I tell him that if he doesn’t quit right now, I will be telling his mother about this. She is a fantastic lady who I have known for a few years now. He stops but gets all defensive like he didn’t do anything wrong. I leave.

I grew up that night. I can’t quite describe just how I changed, but something inside me snapped, I was far more adult like with everything after that. I think my inner mother came out of her shell before she gave birth to any kids.”

#1. My first semester of college

“Miserable grades my first semester of college.

That never happened in high school, and I had to change habits quickly.”

Something to think about the next time you’re looking at your own precious little ones.

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Teachers Crack Us up with the 15 Best Late Excuses They’ve Ever Heard

Teachers work long hours that they often don’t get sufficiently compensated for, deal with our kids for more hours a day than we do (while they’re conscious at least), and have to navigate through endless red tape. If that sounds like a big headache, that’s because it is.

But they do have some little joys, one of which is that kids say some of the funniest things when they’re lying. These 15 tardiness excuses are proof of that beyond a shadow of a doubt.

And of course, on rare occasion, some of those outlandish-sounding excuses turn out to be true…

#15. Lol, gross

“I remember this from 11th grade. Our history class was right after lunch. The class started with a quiz, so everyone was quiet. This big guy comes in like 15 minutes late. He goes over to our male teacher and whispers something in his ear. The teacher repeats it, but a little bit louder so that it was audible.

And the teacher says, ” The cafeteria lady sold you an all-bread Stromboli ??? ”

Yes, the cafeteria lady had indeed sold him an all-bread stromboli, with no meat and cheese in it. So he had to go back and ask for another one, sit down and eat it, which was why he was late for class.”

#14. For a week or so

“Student walked in and looked a bit shaken. She told the class she had been hit by a car in a calm voice. English was her second language. Some people were confused and didn’t think she had been a pedestrian struck by a vehicle. Not five minutes later, a police officer, paramedics, and the school nurse come in and usher her away. Apparently she got hit, got up off the ground and sprinted into school.

She had a minor concussion and we didn’t see her for a week or so.”

#13. Barefoot and crying

“Not sure if this applies, but a teacher was telling us about how important it was to hand in our essays until the end of the week (we had to hand two essays per week). While she was talking about how she wouldn’t accept tardiness, there was this only one exception when she accepted it on the following week.

Turns out a student was mugged on his way to school. He ended up losing his backpack with everything inside (including the essays), phone, wallet, socks and shoes. The student ended up going to talk to the teacher barefoot and crying, telling her how he tried even to persuade the assailant to let him get the essays out of his backpack, but to no avail.”

#12. To be fair

“Locked in their own house was a good one. To be fair, some really old locks could only be unlocked if you had the key. So if your parents were the only ones with the key and locked the door on their way out, you’re fucked.”

#11. A local euphemism

“I work in South Korea and had a fifth grader say he was late because he “caught a whale”, which is a local euphemism for getting circumcised.”

#10. We were the accident

“I teach at a university, but this was from my high school years.

My sister had just gotten her learner’s permit that week, and was driving to school for the first time, with me riding shotgun (required licensed 18yo family member etc.) We came up to a very sharp intersection — something like a 135-degree hairpin turn, and the light turned yellow.

My sister asked me what to do, and I said to stop for it (not liking the odds of a complete noob driver trying to do that turn at speed with me on the outside).

She stopped, quickly. The Mercedes behind us didn’t. Everyone except the Mercedes was okay, but it snarled traffic up pretty badly for a while.

I drove the rest of the way to school (the crash totaled the Mercedes, but just dented the back cargo door in the Blazer we were in), and waited in line as student after student checked in late at the office with “There was an accident on the way to school.”

Our excuse was “We were the accident on the way to school.”

#9. I teach preschool

“I teach preschool, so most of our excuses are detailed explanations of their bowel movements.”

#8. The parent before me

“I once signed my daughter in late to elementary school, and the parent before me had put “UFO Sighting” in the “reason for tardiness” box.”

#7. Didn’t even have a truck

“Call ins, but still…“forgot to turn off my f***in heater,” “somebody stole my tires and put my truck on blocks,” and “gotta find my damn dentures, those things are expensive” are my favorites.

Edit: the second guy didn’t even have a truck.”

#6. Her dog really did eat her homework

“Not a teacher, but in the third grade I had to give a presentation in social studies class. We got to read our presentations off of a piece of paper. My dog ate half of that paper the morning I was supposed to deliver said presentation. I was hysterical because I didn’t think my teacher would believe the “my dog ate my homework” excuse. My dad wrote a note for my teacher “Please excuse gxminifxxd as her dog really did eat her homework.”

#5. Scans of his head and everything

“Years ago I had a student come in who had missed the test the previous week. He said a while back he had been shot in the head and they were unable to remove the bullet and the previous week it had started shifting and he was in the hospital. Showed me the scans of his head and everything.

Also, right now another student’s friend let me know that he is in jail for a few weeks and asked me if I could please not drop him as he wants to stay in the class.”

#4. Misfit Disney princesses

“I’m a TA and last semester a student emailed me saying he would be late to class because he got bit by a squirrel.

There was also a different student who came to class with a baby turtle he found one day (on time though). It’s possible I was teaching a class full of misfit Disney princesses.”

#3. You have to respect bathroom problems

“Just heard this one last week:

“I’m sorry I was late, I have diarrhea”.

Truth or lie, you have to respect bathroom problems.”

#2. Cool/stupid

“Primary teacher here – teaching 11 year olds, kid comes in 30 mins late because he was waiting for his LED shoes to finish charging.

Turns out he was not lying and proceed to moonwalk over to his chair with his shoes flashing. Couldn’t even be mad it was too cool/stupid at the same time.”

#1. Toronto shooting death

“I was a TA, running twice weekly lab sessions in the evening. Being more than 10 minutes late to a lab usually earned a 0 grade for the day, so you usually needed a medical note or police report to get out of it.

At the end of class, one student who was 20 minutes late came up to me and apologized profusely. He was a quiet, unassuming Chinese guy with glasses and a below average grasp on the English language.

He told me that while he was walking to class, a guy in front of him was shot multiple times by a man in a nearby parked car, which then sped off. He claimed that he rushed over to the man, and attempted to attend to his wounds along with another bystander, but that he died before the ambulances arrived.

My first thought was, that’s ridiculous. But then I noticed his shirt, jeans, and forearms covered in blood. Before I had a chance to really say anything, he beelines it to the exit and leaves. A couple hours later, out of curiosity, I Google’Toronto shooting death’ and sure enough, there’s a 14-minute old article describing a fatal shooting that occurred earlier in the day, not terribly far from campus.

The next day, I get an email from the course instructor, informing me that the student had submitted a police report to confirm his involvement in the incident. Motherfucker held a man in his arms as he died and still made the effort to come to class. I can’t even imagine what that guy was going through, as he quietly sat in the back of that room.

Shoutout /r/UofT, that’s why he made CS POST and you didn’t.”

 

I told you! Gold!

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These 13+ Little-Known Facts Might Surprise You

These little-known facts pack a lot fun. They’re great to whip out at a party and impress your friends or simply hang onto them for your own satisfaction.

These 15 people are sharing their favorites, and I’m 100% in.

#15. The Ancient Greeks.

“Spiked and studded dog collars derive from the days of the Ancient Greeks.

The Greeks gave their sheepdogs sharply spiked collars to protect their necks from wolves as they guarded a shepherd’s flock of sheep by night.”

#14. Huh.

“Bees testicle explodes after sex.”

#13. I think about it a lot.

“Two guide dogs named Salty and Roselle were with their owners in the twin towers on floor 78 as the attack commenced (9/11). The dogs guided their blind owners to safety. This isn’t mindblowing but I think about it a lot.”

#12. Obviously this is painful.

“Cats penises are barbed. Obviously this is painful but also necessary as the pain induces ovulation which happens about 30 hrs later. No pain, no ovulation. The barbs also act as a scraper to remove rival semen. It’s not very effective though so a litter can have multiple fathers.”

#11. In his natural register.

“Freddie Mercury was a baritone. He just never sang in his natural register because he was afraid nobody would recognize him. But there are definitely recordings of him speaking and singing, and he’s definitely a baritone – All of his popular stuff just happened to be in his falsetto singing voice.”

#10. A fence in Australia.

“There is a fence in Australia that is longer than the distance from New York to London.”

#9. Closer in time.

“That Gone with the Wind was filmed closer in time to the Civil War than to today.”

#8. Very special mud.

“So baseball has a special rubbing mud. Since about the 1940s, every baseball used in a major league game has been rubbed with a special mud that comes from a secret location in New Jersey.

New baseballs have a sheen on the leather which makes it difficult for a pitcher to grip the ball. So they had to find something that could reduce the sheen without altering the color or damaging the leather. The answer was the super secret New Jersey mud that’s still in use today. One guy owns the very small company that sells the mud and knows of the super secret location.”

#7. A Catholic priest.

“Did you know that the Big Bang (the actual Big Bang, not the sitcom) was thought up by a Catholic Priest?”

#6. Always a Saturday.

“The BEst before date on crisps in the U.K. is always a Saturday.”

#5. Farther West.

“Reno, Nevada is farther West than Los Angeles.”

#4. The most fatal.

“Eating disorders are the most fatal mental illness(es) – anorexia topping the list, then bulimia, then various OSFED/EDNOS. Even more fatal than major depression, schizophrenia, and bipolar. ~20% die due to intentional suicide, the rest due to heart failure and other physical complications.”

#3. The same tortoise.

“Steve Irwin and Charles Darwin owned the same tortoise.”

#2. Never visited.

“George Everest never visited Mount Everest. Yet the mountain is named after him. Also he pronounced his name eve-rest.

So we have the highest mountains named after a guy who never saw it and the name is pronounced wrong.”

#1. A well-known astrophysicist.

“The guitarist for Queen is also a well known astrophysicist.”

I feel smarter now, don’t you?

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15 Professional but Totally Unnecessary Things Chefs Do During Meal Prep

With the increase in popularity of shows on the Food Network (shoutout to the Pioneer Woman), meal kits, and recipe blogs on the internet, it’s easier than ever to feel like a professional chef at home.

However, sometimes those outlets make us think we need to be too fancy. Thankfully, these 13+ chefs are here to tell you the steps/processes that you can go ahead and skip.

#15. Beautiful grill marks

“Giving the meat a quarter turn a few minutes before it’s done on the grill. It gives the meat beautiful cross hatched grill marks but does nothing for the quality of the meat.”

#14. Frenching

“Frenching. You usually see it on fancy cuts of meat like tomahawk steaks or racks of lamb. It improves the look of the cut, is pretty easy to do and most people have come to expect it when ordering more expensive cuts of meat. This step is unnecessary to me though because the part that is trimmed off is super tender and fatty and delicious, so if I have the option, I request an unfrenched cut.”

#13. Sounds more sophisticated

“Truffle oil. I feel the vast majority of the time it’s added only so that the dish sounds more sophisticated.”

#12. A little fire

“Flambé is bullshit. It’s literally just setting the alcohol on fire that has already boiled off from the dish and doesn’t burn hot enough at the surface to create any Maillard reaction products. I do it to entertain my three year old. He loves it.”

#11. Tiny stems

“Tiny stems in fresh parsley, cilantro, rosemary, thyme, tarragon, basil etc.

Seperating that last 2-5 mm from the leaf to the stalk is not important and generally speaking, it’s both tender and packed with flavor. But, but, muh atention too detales…”

#10. Zero nutritional value

“Adding edible gold to any food. It does not affect the taste and has zero nutritional value, as it will just pass through your digestive system without being absorbed. Well, at least you will literally be shitting gold after eating it.”

#9. Choking hazards

“Leaving the tails on shrimp for ornament. In stir fries, curries, etc., now I have to get in there and remove something it was actually easier to just take off with the rest of the shell.

Why leave these choking hazards in an otherwise entirely edible meal to be discreetly stashed at the side of a plate or in a napkin?”

#8. Sure, it’s pretty, but…

“Garnishing with fucking micro greens that you have to clean and fucking pick the seeds out of. It takes forever and most people just take them off anyway. Sure, it’s pretty, but spending 45 minutes of my prep time going through a box of them really sucks.”

#7. Peeling

“Peeling carrots and potatoes. Give them a good wash and they’re fine. Hell, potato skins improve mashed potatoes, imo.”

#6. Baker’s napalm

“Traditional French desserts like croquembouche and gateau st honore only exist to make me feel like a failure.

Cream puffs have no business being in a conical shape held up by baker’s napalm.”

#5. No one wants to try and cut into that mess

“the food tower… it may look nice, bit no one wants to try and cut into that mess.”

#4. Suddenly you’re fancy

“Parsley. Put it on anything, and suddenly you’re fancy.”

#3. Plate appeal

“Plating.

High-end restaurants take great pains to make sure meals are plated well and look appealing from a purely aesthetic standpoint.

When cooking at home, I generally don’t put as much effort into the “plate appeal”.”

#2. A few

“Here are a few

Vanilla beans. I LOVE them and they are so complex and beautiful. It’s professional to bring them out in dishes, but really not necessary. Vanilla extract, though not as good. Will work just fine. Especially when a vial of 3 beans costs $10.
Those paper things that go on the bone stumps of a cooked turkey. So useless I won’t even google their name.
Blowing smoke into your cloche dome. Revealing your plated food as smoke bellows out from it and revealing the dish is cool as hell and professional. Though it technically adds flavour, you likely also used the smoke gun earlier in the cooking process to add flavour that it is not needed again.”

#1. Miniature bowls (looking at you, Ree Drummond)

“Putting all the ingredients in miniature bowls.”

Here’s to your next delicious meal at home!

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12+ People Reflect on the Most Inaccurate Things They Learned About the Birds and the Bees

Do you remember when you first had “The Talk?” It might’ve been with your parents, a friend, a teacher, an older sibling, the weird guy who lived in the garage next door, etc.

Whoever told you about sex for the first time probably told you some things that aren’t true, or at least are inaccurate. After all, it’s an awkward situation for both parties involved and many adults tend to stretch the truth or leave out some key details. These AskReddit users reveal the funny and WRONG things they were taught about the birds and the bees.

1. Nope

“That you can get pregnant from hugging and that you can get AIDS from kissing. It was 1999 when it had been proven that HIV was not spread through casual contact.”

2. Be careful

“I always thought you were supposed to be really gentle with the penis. So my first time giving a hand job I had the lightest grip possible so I wouldn’t hurt him. When he showed me just how I was shocked lol.

I also thought your period was supposed to be just a dot of blood, hence the name “period.” Had a rude awakening with that one.”

3. Wait, that’s not true?

“I was taught that a woman releases a special chemical in her brain during/right after sex that makes her attached to the man for the rest of her life, because he made that happen. Only women tho, and only your first.

My parents were so hellbent on this that me and my mom often argued about it… she was adamant that I could barely know the guy, yet this would happen and it would ruin my life, she was that convinced (as a teen, they didn’t like my boyfriend and used this to say I won’t know who he will grow up into, in highschool you’ve known him only a few years, this will forever taint your life when you eventually get married etc…. very strong belief they hold). Many other misconceptions as well, but that’s the craziest. Others include:

*Tampons cause infertility because the ovaries cannot ‘air out’

*Having cold feet outside leads to infertility by ‘freeze damage’ to the ovaries

*Sex is a donation to a man, not at all something to share as it can never truly be pleasurable for the woman. However, you’re in luck because women happen to release a forever-bonding chemical when she loses her virginity so you won’t mind ‘doing what is needed to him when do you have to.’ “

4. Mom?

“My mum told me there was no such thing as ovulation when I was 9. To this day I haven’t had the courage to ask her how she thinks I got here!”

5. It’s over

“Basically sex = your life is ruined and there’s nothing you can do about it then.

Little bit inaccurate.”

6. There it is!

“I received absolutely no sex education. I was raised a religious fundamentalist, married at 19 to a girl that was as ignorant as I was and lost our virginity on our wedding night. Married for 13 years. I learned what and where a clitoris was from my 2nd sexual partner at the age of 32.”

7. Uggghhhhh

“My sex ed was cassette tapes of an old man basically just saying don’t have sex before marriage, but one of the things he said was “I grew up on a farm, and I learned all I needed to know about sex by watching the animals.””

8. Abstinence

“My middle school teacher told the class that condoms were not effective at all for protecting against STDs and only worked 50% in stoping pregnancies, and that anyone who told you otherwise was a diseased pervert trying to trick you into sex. Abstinence teaching, ladies and gentlemen.”

9. Lies!

” “If you both keep your virginity until your wedding night, you will have an amazing sex life forever.”

False.”

10. Inaccurate

“Not sure this counts but when I was 10 and asked my mom what AIDS was, she said it happened when people had sex without protection.

Fair enough. Except my little brain confused “protection” with “permission”. And that was what I thought AIDS was. For longer than I care to admit.”

11. A whole buncha stuff

“If you have sex in a hot tub, you can’t get pregnant. When you go to sleep, your period stops. My friend also believed that girls only had their periods on the full moon cycle.

These are things I had other people come to me about, because they had no sex ed and I was the one friend who actually learned something from their parents.”

12. Confused

“In addition to the usual (condoms aren’t effective, sex before marriages gives you cancer, zero information about discharge or where clitoris is located) I was taught that women don’t feel sexual arousal. At all. Those who think they do are just confused. Women have sex to please men and make babies, no other reason.

I still wonder if the woman who taught me this was just asexual and didn’t know it, and she assumed this was the norm.”

13. Dirty

“They taught us that if you have sex, you are dirty and disgusting. It became confusing to me as a child to be excited when someone announced they were pregnant, I thought it was only good if you ended up pregnant.”

14. You’re gonna catch it

“I mean I don’t think this really counts but my class made us watch the lifetime movie “she’s too young” a movie about a high school that has a huge chlamydia outbreak which made it seem like that was gonna happen to our school if we had any sex so that I suppose.”

15. Sex offenders

“Went to catholic school in south Texas. My sex ed was “you are all too young to have sex, if you do you will be a sex offender for life” then we learned about the legal problems of being a sex offender. Not totally wrong, but lots of girls had to leave when they ended up pregnant.”

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15 People Dish on the Dumbest Way They’ve Ever Gotten Hurt

We’ve all got ’em. The injury is bad, but the story is worse. I mean, the older I get, the more of these I sustain – I can put my back out for days bending over to pick up laundry, for example.

When I was a teenager, I split my knee open and had to get stitches. I told people it was running into the centerfield fence catching a softball (which was true) but tried to conveniently leave out the detail that the injury happened during warmups and not during an outstanding, homerun-robbing catch.

Alas.

I have to say, though, these 13+ stories definitely put mine to shame!

#15. Emergency surgery.

“Laughing with a friend of mine at Dairy Queen. Laughed so hard because he pulled out a condom instead of money and he thought everyone saw him so I burst into gut wrenching laughter apparently rupturing my L4-L5-S1 vertebrae requiring emergency surgery!”

#14. That darn cat.

“I injured my knee by crouching to pet a cat.

I could barely walk for a few days and couldn’t do any exercise or sports for nearly a month.”

#13. Sitting and eating waffles.

“When I was a little kid, I fell over and broke my collar bone while sitting and eating waffles. I wish this was fake.

Edit: About a year before this incident, I broke the same bone playing on my mother’s bed. I believed I was a Power Ranger and rolled off the bed… onto the hard wood floor.”

#12. Dropped cold.

“I was once concucsed after being dropped off late to school. Turned back to wave to my dad and ran smack straight into a stop sign and dropped cold.”

#11. I got a hernia from…

“I got a hernia from taking a dump.”

#10. Putting socks on.

“I dislocated my knee….putting socks on. I was standing near the foot of my bed and was doing a balancing act putting socks on. When I went to put my right leg back down, my pant leg somehow got stuck on the footboard of my bed. My jeans somehow then decided to rip and my knee moved in a way it was never intended to.

I’m definitely a klutz and tend to find myself in weird situations like this far too often.”

#9. It was the bottom bunk.

“Broke my collar bone after accidentally rolling onto the floor off a bunk bed… it was the bottom bunk.”

#8. Busy bee.

“I built a nice counter for our laundry room, installed the new washing machine, installed the wall-mounted dryer, made shelves with the leftover wood, and even found time to plant an apple tree my mom had bought, all in the same day. Then slipped a disc when I was washing my hands -_-“

#7. I hugged my telescope.

“Little me, around 8 years old spent a few hours gazing through his telescope into the moon, the stars and the sky and it was awesome. When I was done, I hugged my telescope, optical tube down and eye piece up. I was very short, very very short. Almost telescope sized back then.

So, of course I tripped, by reflex I looked down, while at the same time, the big end of the telescope hit the ground, and my mouth caught the eyepiece, almost.

Right between the upper lip and the nose, went almost all the way in, and turns out my face is a gusher. In two spots it went all the way through my facemeat and hit my front teeth, lucky me it didn’t crack a tooth. Thanks for the ER trip Mr. Telescope, Who knew stargazing was such dangerous activity?”

#6. While taking a nap.

“Pulled a muscle in my right butt cheek while taking a nap. Couldn’t walk properly for the next 7 hours.”

#5. Have to use crutches now.

“I got out of bed a few weeks ago and turned my ankle. Tore every ligament and have to use crutches now.”

#4. Because of pants.

“Tore my ACL and meniscus in my right knee while pulling my pants up changing in the locker room after swim practice. Took two surgeries and 6 months of recovery to get back to normal. Because of pants.”

#3. I was sitting on a couch…

“I was sitting on a couch. There was a blanket on the floor barely covering my feet. While seated, I leaned forward to pull the blanket onto myself. Pulled a muscle in my back and was out of work for 4 days.”

#2. Isn’t it ironic?

“I got a paper cut opening a band aid.”

#1. The office Christmas party.

“Two years ago I tore my miniscus and blew out my knee playing ping pong at our office Christmas party. Stepped to the left and went down hard. Worst part was two days later when I finally stubbornly went to emerg that the nurses keep me a pro athlete and the dude ahead of me had the exact same injury from a “vicious hockey hit.””

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