Apparently, There’s a Million-Dollar Treasure Hidden Somewhere in the Rocky Mountains

As I have gone alone in there

And with my treasures bold,

I can keep my secret where,

And hint of riches new and old.

Begin it where warm waters halt

And take it in the canyon down,

Not far, but too far to walk.

Put in below the home of Brown.

From there it’s no place for the meek,

The end is ever drawing nigh;

There’ll be no paddle up your creek,

Just heavy loads and water high.

If you’ve been wise and found the blaze,

Look quickly down, your quest to cease,

But tarry scant with marvel gaze,

Just take the chest and go in peace.

So why is it that I must go

And leave my trove for all to seek?

The answers I already know,

I’ve done it tired, and now I’m weak.

So hear me all and listen good,

Your effort will be worth the cold.

If you are brave and in the wood

I give you title to the gold.

Hidden somewhere within these words are all the clues you’ll need to find a million-dollar treasure. This poem is part of Forrest Fenn’s treasure, buried somewhere in the Rocky Mountains.

Forrest Fenn is a retired Air Force pilot turned “collector” (read: possible grave-robber and thief) of rare and interesting historical artifacts. He has, even by his own admission, skirted the law in acquiring the items and had plenty of mishaps and challenges along the way.

Image Credit: Pixabay

In 2010 he published a memoir detailing his adventures called The Thrill of the Chase, but given that he’s hardly a household name, it didn’t earn much attention – until it did.

One aspect of the book – a fantastical claim that the author had hidden a box that contains over a million dollars worth of artifacts and gold – has led to a growing group of mystery-chasers taking up the hunt.

The idea came to Fenn back in 1988. He was diagnosed with terminal kidney cancer and decided to shore up his legacy. He put together the chest of treasure and planned a trip to Colorado with the intention of dying beside the box…except he recovered from his kidney cancer. So he kind of put the whole thing on hold.

Image Credit: Amazon

Then, when he turned 80, he figured he might as well see it through and (allegedly) left the treasure somewhere in the Rocky Mountains before publishing his mysterious poem that (allegedly) reveals its location.

The legend grew, getting national recognition on The Today Show in 2013 and making Fenn’s book a sensation. Buyers from Ecuador to Italy have read it and planned their own hunting trips to the American West in search of a treasure – there are websites dedicated to solving the clues, and several hundred people have trekked around, only to come up empty.

Actually, a few of those people never returned at all – there have been 4 confirmed deaths related to the hunt so far. The first was in 2016 when a middle-aged man went missing near Cochiti Lake in New Mexico. Since then, a 53-year-old man fell down a mountain and died, a Colorado pastor died in the Rio Grande, and a 31-year-old man drowned in the Arkansas River.

Fenn seems mildly concerned that his search has led to people’s deaths, saying that “the treasure chest is not under water, nor is it near the Rio Grande River. It is not necessary to move large rocks or climb up or down a steep precipice. Please remember that I was about 80 when I made two trips from my vehicle to where I hid the treasure.”

Image Credit: Pixabay

But consider this: Fenn has a reputation in the archeological world as a bit of a blow-hard, and admitted himself that his “natural instinct is to embellish just a little” so…is the treasure even real? Or could it be an elaborate hoax to win him fame (and book sales) at his advanced age?

Fenn has a lifetime habit of playing fast and loose with the law – and the truth. He has recovered items from protected areas and even robbed graves. He owns one of the most significant archaeological sites in New Mexico and refers to it as his “retreat” where he indulges in his passion.

The state of New Mexico disagrees, claiming Fenn is making a profit off the graves that exist on the ground around his property.

If you’re thinking about searching for Fenn’s treasure yourself, you might want to cozy up to his friends – he claims that a “close friend” has ben instructed to deposit his bones with the chest of goodies.

I’m honestly not sure whether that will make people want to find it more or less.

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This Doc’s Decision to Write His Name on His Scrub Cap is Making Hospitals Everywhere Safer

Most of us only have experience in hospitals and operating rooms as the patient, and between the whirlwind of prep and our own nerves it’s all but impossible to remember the names of the dozen or so people littering the room, never mind why they’re there in the first place.

It turns out that the surgeons, nurses, anesthetists, et al have similar issues with remembering each others names and roles, as well, which can slow them down and even cost patients their lives in extreme situations.

The World Health Organization surgical safety checklist requires all staff to introduce themselves before surgery, but Dr. Hackett noticed that the section of the checklist was ticked without being completed – and even when it was, names and duties would go in one ear and out the other.

“When it’s done properly,” he says, “there are a few giggles from people, which tells me it’s not done regularly.”

This is why Australian anesthetist Dr. Rob Hackett started wearing a scrub cap that said “Rob Anaesthetist” on it when entering an operating theatre. He challenged others to do the same through #TheatreCapChallenge, an initiative from the PatientSafe Network in response to concerns over how avoidable mistakes and poor communication can contribute to poor outcomes for patients.

Image Credit: Twitter

Dr. Hackett says he’s faced pushback from some doctors but hopes that in the future a wider range of professionals will jump on board.

“There were some snide remarks, like ‘can’t you remember your name?’ …While there’s been support for name & role caps from anaesthetic and obstetric societies, it’s interesting to observe that we’re yet to receive any active support from a surgical college. Here’s a golden opportunity for them to face up to the bullying nature they’ve been tarred with.”

Even though the movement has room to grow, medical professionals from across the globe are showing their support by making their own caps and tweeting selfies using his hashtag #TheatreCapChallenge. Others agree with Dr. Hackett that knowing everyone’s name can save vital, life-and-death seconds in an operating room.

While it may sound crazy to think just having to repeat something or ask someone’s name, when seconds literally count, no positive change is too small.

“I went to a cardiac arrest in a theatre where there were about 20 people in the room,” Dr. Hackett recalls. “I struggled to even ask to be passed some gloves because the person I was pointing to thought I was pointing to the person behind them. It’s so much easier to coordinate when you know everyone’s names. It’s great for camaraderie and it’s great for patients as well.”

His movement is picking up steam and the data suggests there are benefits that reach beyond his original intent.

“UK studies have shown increased name recall amongst staff from 42 to 85%, increased name and role introductions during the surgical safety checklist from 38 to 90%. Simulation studies at Stanford University in the US demonstrated greatly increased communication and theatre efficiency.”

Women who have c-sections and are generally awake in an operating theatre also benefit from being able to address the people around them and have an awareness of why they’re there, as well.

An unintended benefit of writing on a scrub cap could also be people choosing to purchase re-usable caps as opposed to single-use ones – as of now, a 20-theatre hospital discards over 100,000 of them every year and spends about $10k of its annual budget on disposable caps. The material they’re made from is harmful to the environment and takes forever to break down, so there’s an environmental and financial upside to switching.

Hackett believes that being forced to admit that they’ve been hurting – even killing – patients for years can be one reason people struggle with accepting his simple fix for the problem.

“Cognitive dissonance is one of the challenges that #TheatreCapChallenge has faced. It’s most likely to affect those who feel defined by their decisions, often those further up the chain of command – in accepting change they’ll need to accept that what was happening previously, on their watch as it were, was not as good.”

Here’s hoping our healthcare providers – all of them – can check their egos at the door in order to forge a better, safer future for everyone who finds their lives in a hospital’s hands.

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Everyone Should Read This Twitter User’s Rules for a Successful Marriage

While movies and TV usually make it look like it’s just something that “happens,” the fact of the matter is that any successful relationship/marriage takes a lot of work. It’s all about communicating and understanding each other, and treating each other with respect.

Twitter user Ryan Stephens recently offered 6 rules that he and his wife try to follow to maintain a solid marriage.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Rule #1 is very important.

Photo Credit: Twitter

The second rule is crucial.

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It’s important to be adventurous.

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Support each other and be each other’s biggest fan.

Photo Credit: Twitter

DON’T KEEP SCORE.

Photo Credit: Twitter

The last item on the list might be the most important.

Photo Credit: Twitter

And keep this advice in mind.

Photo Credit: Twitter

You can read a more detailed post from Stephens’ wife about their “Six Rules to be a Good Teammate in Your Marriage” HERE.

Other Twitter users agreed with the advice.

Photo Credit: Twitter

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In fact, many people could relate.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Photo Credit: Twitter

Photo Credit: Twitter

What do YOU think? Do you have any additional advice to make a marriage work? Share in the comments below!

The post Everyone Should Read This Twitter User’s Rules for a Successful Marriage appeared first on UberFacts.

15 People Talk About the Mistake That Nearly Killed Them

Have you ever had a close call with death? A situation that you shouldn’t have been in at all, and were lucky to get out of. I was in a pretty bad van accident when I was younger, and it was definitely a moment that made me take stock of my fleeting mortality.

AskReddit users opened up and shared their personal stories about big mistakes that almost cost them their lives.

1. Electric shock

“Many years ago I owned a pub.

I went upstairs to the house area to find all the lights were off. I flicked the trip switches to turn the lights back on; which they did. I then heard running water from my co owners fishtank in the lounge, turns out the protein skimmer had flipped over and was spilling water over the wall socket.

Instincively (and very stupidly) went to turn off the plug and as soon as i touched it got sent flying over the back of the sofa.

Dont know how im still alive to this day.”

2. Not very bright

“As teenagers we used to smoke pot in the garage in the car with it running for hours. No idea how we didn’t kill everyone in the house multiple times over.”

3. Dear old Dad

“My dad got trashed and tried to jump over the fence at Yankee Stadium with his friends. He failed and an iron spike punctured him. He remembers being rushed to the hospital and bleeding everywhere. Everyone thought he was going to die of blood loss. Didn’t die but he also made several more stupid mistakes such as riding a motorcycle without a helmet and breaking several ribs etc etc. Honestly he is still stupid and I’m surprised he hasn’t died yet.”

4. Iraq

“Driving over an IED in Iraq that’s battery had gone bad in the heat. If the battery was live i wouldn’t be.

Edit: a lot of people are wondering how i knew that it was there when it didn’t go off, so here is the answer to that.

I was in a rural area. I didn’t see some disturbed dirt in the dirt road that we were driving on, but my lieutenant in the passenger seat almost shit his pants because his life flashed before his eyes. He literally curled into a ball in his seat. I asked him what was up. And he said he was sure that there was something back there. We were currently escorting troop carriers to drop off a foot patrol in the middle of nowhere, so after we completed our drop off we went back on his order to check out the spot. My truck was the only one with an RF jammer, so i took the lead up to the spot my lieutenant had seen. When i say it i thought to myself, “Holy fuck, how did i not see that?” I was the “demo” guy since we didn’t have enough EOD in the area, so i went up to it, saw the pressure plate and wires. Dug it up and there is was. A battery with the battery acid all leaked out. They didn’t bury it deep enough, and it was the middle of summer.

About 130f out. Not good for the battery. Under the battery and pressure plate was a box, about the size of a footlocker filled with explosives and accelerant. If it had gone off my whole truck would have been dust. We had to do a controlled demo since EOD was busy, and after we took it out half the road had a 5 foot deep crater in it.”

5. Close call

“Pissing off a cliff, wasted on Jack Daniels. My girlfriend at the time pulled me back by my sweatshirt, or that would’ve been it.”

6. Swept away

“Climbed onto one of those underpasses that allow river water to flow through when I was like, 5. Got swept in the current and taken down the river. Only reason I survived is my dad saw my long hair barely under the current and jumped in to save me.”

7. Be careful with the laundry chute

“Playing with the laundry chute in my childhood home when I was around 5 years old. My cousins and I took turns dropping things down the chute while someone else stood at the bottom and dodged them. For the most part it was things like washcloths, stuffed animals, a clothing item, etc.

Just so happened that when I stood under the chute, my cousin dropped a 5 lb dumbbell down and I, expecting something harmless, didn’t get out of the way. That ended the game real quick. I now part my hair in a way that hides the bald spot scar on my head.”

8. Actually died

“I fell down my friends basement stairs when I was 8 (hit my head on the concrete floor) and ended up being airlifted to a major city hospital after being knocked out and still screaming. Ended waking up a couple days later and found out I was missing a tooth and I was told that as they were putting a breathing tube in, it knocked my tooth down my throat which scared the docs more. But I was super happy cause I payed melee for the first time in the game room and ate jellow for meals.

Turns out that I was actually in a comatose state and gradually got worse over 48 hours until I had 0 brain activity for about 6 minutes. So I guess I did die but I didn’t find out from my family till afterwards, because who tells an 8 yr old that they died.”

9. Big mistake

“3 years old. Love M&Ms. Find blue ones behind stove. Yum.

Rat poison.”

10. Toilet accident

“Carrying a toilet by myself after having painted the bathroom. Got caught up in the drop cloth and fell on the toilet smashing it and a piece of the porcelain cut into my knee. My father was there with me and immediately took me to the hospital as the bleeding was pretty decent.

The doctor told me that the piece missed an artery by 1/4” and that if I had been a smaller man I’d have bled out before I made it to the hospital. Being a very large man (6’2” and 350lbs at the time) saved my life.”

11. Joe vs. The Volcano

“I nearly fell into a f*cking volcano leaning on a rope fence

Edit: Holy sh*t this comment blew up. Right, more context, I was 8-9 at the time, and I managed to catch myself on that same fence after I nearly keeled over it (I never let go of stuff when I fall). This was in Italy, hence the lack of actual safety procedures.”

12. Skateboarding accident

“This was 13 years ago. I was skateboarding with some buddies at a busy shopping center. A few minutes before leaving, we were waiting at a crosswalk to cross the street. One of my friends takes off running across the crosswalk, and my other buddies follow suit. So I took off as well. I was not even paying attention to the light, but the lane crossing the crosswalk was on a green light.

My two friends in front were in the clear, but myself and one of my other friends were both hit by a Uhaul truck (yes really, trust me I got shit for YEARS about getting hit by a huge, bright orange truck) going probably 40-45mph. My friend in front of me didn’t get hit too bad. I got hit square in the chest. I had no clue at the time what even had happened. I was running, then I was on the ground in a daze, no pain, and I even got up and instinctually ran back to the sidewalk that I had come from. No clue I’d been hit by a truck, I was more just like what in the fuck just happened.

A nurse that was at the light came and helped me, told me what had happened and helped me stay calm. She asked if I was having trouble breathing. I was. But it was attributed to me having asthma. Later found out it was because both of my lungs were punctured.

Anyways, the ambulance shows up. I’m holding up very well, no clue why. Kinda just thinking okay damn I must have gotten super lucky. I’m conscious, talking fine, no biggie. They only had one bed in the ambulance, so my buddy was lying on it, and I was sitting hunched over on the bench for the ride (I wish I was joking). We get to the hospital, and I try to pull myself up to get out of the ambulance.

And I can’t, my shoulders hurt way too bad. The EMS guys tell me I probably dislocated my shoulder and that I’ll just have to get it popped in and before I know it I’ll be back home. Once inside, WE GET PUT IN THE WAITING ROOM. No I am not joking. We had skateboards with us, and the desk people had no clue. They assumed we just fell on our skateboards or something.

So I’m still feeling pretty good, other than some sore shoulders, just chilling there watching wheel of fortune. When all of a sudden I start feeling super clammy and disorientied. I remember hearing my mom screaming “HE’S GOING INTO SHOCK”, and then next thing I know I’m being wheeled down a bunch of hallways. It was like in shows where it’s a blur of those florescent lights just flashing overhead one at a time.

I start having severe pain. Like the worst pain you could imagine. But I can’t be given an painkillers yet, because I have to go through a bunch of tests first. I’d assume these tests should have been done right when I got there, but what do I know. The one I really remember is having to be picked up off of the bed and put onto one of the machines that required I be on my back. They had people grab each corner of the sheet from the bed that I was on to move me onto it. I remember it kind of squishing my shoulders inward a bit and holy shiiiiiiiiit that was the worst pain I’ve ever felt.

Anyways, after a ton of tests, it’s found out that both of my lungs are punctured. Both of my collar bones are snapped in half. Broken ribs. Cracked sternum. Concussion. The works. Ended up spending the next couple weeks in ICU.

They didn’t have any hospital beds open for me at the time so I actually ended up being transferred to a children’s hospital. It was fucking sweet. People came and sang to me and brought me teddy bears n shit. And I was just jacked up on morphine watching Lord of Rings all the time.

But yeah it was a pretty tough recovery, and I went from just hanging out with a smile on my face to a scary place real quick. I went to a world-renowned clavicle specialist at Duke Medical for my collar bones. He normally had an insanely long wait list, but apparently when he found out that I broke both at the same time he was willing to see me ASAP.

He told me that he’d only ever had a few patients that broke both at the same time, because the force required to do so almost always resulted in death. But eventually I got better, full recovery. Was a bit of a hypochondriac for a while, and was scared to cross the street for awhile. But other than that, no biggie.”

13. Always wear a helmet

“Not wearing a helmet while on a bicycle and stupidly turning left just as a car overtook me.

Somehow I only got a neat scar through my eyebrow and some torn up kneecaps from it. But the look on my mother’s face when she picked me up from the hospital…That made me realise how profoundly stupid I was that day.

Edit: I did make a turn signal with my arm, but the driver apparently didn’t see it. He later went over to the hospital to ask if I was OK and to apologise for hitting me.”

14. Tangled up

“Tubing behind a speedboat. Pulled myself too far forward. It submarined and popped up in the air. I was flung forward and got tangled in the towrope.”

15. The garage door

“Retensioning a garage door spring and the tension tool popped out. The door crashed with enough force to crack the pavement.

Edit: had no idea so many others have died doing this. Going forward would never do this again.”

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10+ Words Most Americans Aren’t Pronouncing Properly

We know we’re not perfect, but if you want to pronounce foreign words and brands correctly, scroll through this list – I know I’ve been saying most of these 12 wrong for a while!

#1. Bayer

Image Credit: Bayer

It’s a German label from a German company, and in Germany they would say it BUY-er. That said, BAY-er is probably going to serve you best here in the USA, since no one would have a clue what you were talking about otherwise.

#2. Adidas

Image Credit: Adidas

No, the name of this German shoe brand doesn’t stand for “All Day I Dream About Sex,” and it’s also not pronounced uh-DEE-duhs, either. It’s AH-dee-DAHS, named for founder Aldoph “Adi” Dassler.

#3. Bokeh

Image Credit: HD Wallpaper

It’s been put into common English use because of the photo apps that use it as an effect, but the recent iPhone ad promoting their Depth Control feature is pronouncing the word wrong.

It’s not BOH-KUH but boh-KAY. Yeah, like the bunch of flowers.

#4. Moschino

Image Credit: Moschino

The letter C is confusing in Italian (in Latin, there are only hard C’s, fun fact), so while most people say mo-SHEE-no or moss-CHEE-no, the correct way it to substitute a hard K sound for the ch – mo-SKI-no.

#5. Ellevest

Image Credit: Ellevest

The female-centric investment firm isn’t pronounced EL-VEST but EL-uh-vest, according to founder Sallie Krawcheck.

#6. Ralph Lauren

Image Credit: Ralph Lauren

For anyone who didn’t watch Friends, this French brand is pronounced Ralph LO-ren, not Ralph Lo-REN.

#7. IKEA

Image Credit: IKEA

You love their cheap-but-stylish furniture and Swedish meatballs, but I have some news for you – according to Swede and LA Galaxy player Zlatan Ibrahimovic, it’s not pronounced eye-KEY-uh, but ee-KAY-uh.

Huh.

#8. Zagat

Image Credit: Zagat

The guide to all things restaurants is named after Tim and Nina Zagat, who pronounce their last name as zu-GHAT, not ZA-gut.

#9. Nutella

Image Credit: Nutella

The actual pronunciation – NUT-el-uh – makes sense, because the yummy spread is made of hazelNUTS not hazelNEWTS.

That said, for some reason Americans insist on referring to it as NEW-tell-uh.

#10. Porsche

Image Credit: Porsche

Save a German’s ears and say this one Poor-shay (and roll the R in the back of your throat) and not Porsh (with your drawl included).

#11. Hyundai

Image Credit: Hyundai

You’re probably pronouncing the car company as HUN-DYE, but in reality, the world (which comes from the Korean word for modernity) is pronounced HUN-DAY (rhymes with Sunday).

#12. Balmain

Image Credit: Balmain

French is hard, y’all, so if you want to sound smart go with Bahl-mah in stead of BALL-MAIN.

The more you know!

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When Facebook and Instagram Went Down, Twitter Naturally Had Jokes About It

As just about EVERYONE is aware, we had a Facebook and Instagram blackout recently. Both networks were down for an entire day!

So, how did people deal with it? By going on Twitter to joke about it, of course!

Isn’t social media wonderful?!?!?

Here are some of the best tweets from that infamous and tragic day…

1. A team effort?

2. Oh hi, Mark

3. That is an evil laugh

4. It’s happening!

5. I’ll be here now

6. Tantrums everywhere

7. Just keep hitting refresh

8. That’s not cool, Cardi B

9. The world is on fire

10. She’s not doing well with this

11. That’s what it’s for

12. Gotta love Tommy Wiseau

13. It’s getting ugly

14. Pure hatred

15. This is crucial

How did you deal with this humanitarian crisis?

Stay strong everyone! We’ll get through the next blackout, too!

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Men of Twitter Share Instances They Took a Stand Against Misogyny and Predatory Behavior

Gentlemen: pay attention. It’s up to us to end misogyny, so if we see another man acting inappropriately towards a woman in any way whatsoever, it’s our duty to speak up and take a stand. Period.

If you need inspiration, take a look at these guys. It all started when a Twitter user threw out this question to all the good guys out there.

Photo Credit: Twitter

And here were some of the best responses.

1. Role model

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2. He needed to hear it

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3. Explain why they’re wrong

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4. It’s not hard

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5. Stare ’em down

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6. Teaching moments

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7. Some good advice

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8. Ugh

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9. Get involved in one way or another

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10. It’s okay to look like an idiot

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To all the guys out there: it’s our responsibility to step up and say something when you see something inappropriate happening. Do the right thing!

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This New Way to Eat Pineapples Is the Biggest News of 2019

Pineapples are absolutely yummy (unless they’re on a pizza, but that’s a whole other story). Sadly, they’re also kinda hard to eat if you’re actually trying to do it from scratch and not get the syrupy canned versions. Do I peel, then cut? Do I cut, then peel? What’s the best knife for it, and how do I not chop my hand off in the process?

Even if you’re a pineapple-slicing professional, it’s a whole elaborate process. Your other options are to buy pre-sliced pineapple or just… give up on this delicious fruit.

But wait. THERE IS A BETTER WAY. You can apparently just eat pineapple with your bare hands, and honestly, this is the biggest development of the year, as far as I’m concerned!

Photo Credit: TikTok

This pineapple hack comes to the world courtesy of a TikTok user. @dillonroberts22 posted a video that shows someone ripping off individual pieces of pineapple and (really loudly) chomping on them. It’s about 2 seconds long, and those 2 seconds basically changed the world.

The video spread like wildfire on Twitter, where people were genuinely shocked that there is a whole other way to eat pineapple that nobody knew about WTF.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Some people even ventured to try the trick at home, sure that the TikTok video was a hoax. But nope – it’s 100% real, folks.

A few wise Twitter users took everyone else to Pineapple School, where they explained that pineapples actually consist of a whole bunch of berries fused together. Each individual piece is a berry, which is why they can be torn off like that.

Mind blown. It’s almost too good to be true.

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The U.K. is Seeing a Sudden Resurgence of Ancient Diseases

As we here in America battle with the comeback of diseases like measles, the United Kingdom is also struggling with the reemergence of old-school, Dickensian diseases gout and scarlet fever.

Data from the UK National Health Service shows a 52% increase in four key “Victorian diseases” since 2010/2011 – many of which were assumed to have disappeared along with chamber pots. The rise of sanitation, vaccinations, and modern science seemed to have these diseases on the run, but the recent data shows that they’re not going down without a fight.

Cases of scarlet fever have increased by 208% in the past decade, going from 429 cases in 2010/11 to 1321 cases in 2017/2018. The disease was the leading cause of death in children in the early 20th century and presents with a sore throat, fever, headache, swollen lymph nodes, and a pink-red rash.

Scarlet fever rash
Image Credit: Wikipedia

A vaccine nearly wiped out whooping cough in the 1950s but hospital admissions are up 59%, and the instances of people experiencing gout are up 38% – almost 2000 more cases in 2017/2018 than there were 10 years before. Gout is associated with a poor diet, heavy drinking, an a general lack of concern over one’s health.

Whooping cough bacteria
Image Credit: Wikipedia

Life expectancy is stalling in the UK, too, and hospital admissions due to malnutrition are up 54%. Infant mortality rates are also on the rise, and as with everything else, the poorer people are suffering the most.

The culprit? Well, the data suggests large cuts to healthcare, social services, and other public services could be to blame. That said, the study was commissioned by a political party that is against the austerity programs, which should be taken into consideration.

The data is solid and from independent sources, however, so the truth can’t be denied – people in the UK are sicker than ever, dying younger than they were ten years ago, and generally struggling to stay well as people in Western Europe face none of the same challenges (in general).

I don’t know about you, but I hope to avoid all of these diseases in the modern world. All I’ve got is a vaccination and a prayer.

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15 Bartenders Reveal the Weirdest Things They’ve Heard on the Job

Bartenders hear all sorts of things. People don’t usually sit at a bar to be sober and quiet, so between being the patient ear to some poor guy’s sob story and hearing some drunk couple plan out the rest of their evening, you know they’ve heard some absolute doozies.

In this AskReddit article, bartenders reveal the weirdest conversations they’ve ever heard on the job.

#1. Categorize them

“I overheard a woman who worked for a New Zealand online dating service, and was basically a profile censor. She described her job as being 80% dick pic removal, and had seen so many she could divvy them up into a few distinct categories.”

#2. Sounds fun

“I once heard a guy tell his buddy, “It’s fun, it’s like laser tag but with real guns” That was twenty years ago and to this day kick myself for not getting the whole story.”

#3. These are on the house

“A customer is on the phone in the middle of the bar, not too crowded but a long bar. Guy couldn’t have been more than 25. I go to help someone at the end of the bar and on my way back I overhear:

“No, I don’t care! She’s my sister, she is THIRTEEN and there is no reason she should be doing cocaine! At all!”

Gave him a few drinks on the house that night.”

#4. Shady business

“I heard some chick say “and the worse part about it, is that lucky bastard got a whole gram of crystal out it for free.”

#5. Now I’m in love with myself

“I hated myself until I discovered masturbation.”

#6. Classy

“Had a husband and wife who were by far the most rude people I’ve ever encountered, talking with a traveling business man. By the end of the night the business man was propositioning the woman to go back to his hotel room for some money.”

#7. Lots of cheating

“Lots and lots of cheaters. It’s weird that serial cheaters take their girls to the same spot.”

#8. Heated argument

“I’ve bartended but my favorite conversation was overhead while I was on the other side of the bar. “Look all I’m saying is Grand Theft Auto severely ruined our generation’s perception of how many police helicopters exist.” Sounded like they were getting really heated over the matter haha.”

#9. Awwwww

“Even though we were busy, I clearly heard a women say to her friend, “Hey look, the bartender’s really cute.”

Friend: “No he’s not!”

Response: “Oh yeah, you’re right.”

#10. Negotiations

“Work in a downtown hotel bar right across from our convention center. I’ve heard way too many negotiations between businessmen and escorts.

Last one I heard involved the guy asking the lady how much extra she would charge to let his friend watch.”

#11. Tennis ladies

“I bartended at a country club, and there was this one group of tennis-ladies that would always sit at the bar and get absolutely sh*tfaced on weeknights at our wine nights. They took a liking to our main bartender and kept calling him exotic (he’s Mexican), they would say how love his beard, would talk about their fav (not tennis related) positions, how they kept their nether-regions tidy, slip him their numbers, how sh*t their husbands were, etc. Gave me death glares every time I’d be bartending/bar backing with him lol.”

#12. So obvious

“On Valentine’s Day this year, we had a guest who accepted a FaceTime from his girlfriend while his side-chick was with him at the bar. He angled the phone so his girlfriend wouldn’t see the girl, but it was so obvious.”

#13. Hahahaha

“Two businessmen having after work drinks on a Friday, where the conversation built up to one of the sweetest sentiments I’ve heard. At first the usual “Lemme tell ya, you’re a good person. I love you man.” Later on (still fairly basic): “Fuck the wives! Hey, you and me, we buy motorcycles!”

To finally this gem: “If a tornado were to blow you away… I would fly after you.”

#14. Adorable

“Guy: “I think I’m going to need a coke chaser for this one.” Girl, presumably SO: “we already did all the coke…” Guy: “Coca Cola, you idiot!”

Not even the most memorable, just the most recent. For sure, a real snapshot into their relationship.”

#15. Wonder how that worked out…

“I once listened to three people have an in depth discussion about how they were going to kill the “local vampire” and the steps to take to protect themselves from the coven that said vampire is surely from.

My favorite though what a heated debate over whether the first Robin would be a crime fighter if Batman hadn’t picked him up and trained him.”

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