People Who All Realized Their Mistakes Just a Little Too Late

You can call me cruel, you can call me mean, but I love it when people embarrass themselves.

Hey, what can I say, it’s kind of my thing.

And these people all humiliated themselves and realized it a little too late.

Jackpot!

1. Oh, that’s what that is…

2. You might’ve blown it.

3. Starch your engines!

Starch your engines from BoneAppleTea

4. One of those things.

[legit] tinnitus from BoneAppleTea

5. Still cringing after all these years.

6. Forgot about that.

Photo Credit: Reddit

7. I’d like to see more of this conversation.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

8. Don’t send sick emails.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

9. Smooth move.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

10. Oops, wrong chat.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

Ouch…I think we can file those under the “Epic Fail” category.

We know you don’t want to embarrass yourself, but will you share some of your most embarrassing stories with us? Pretty please?

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People Share How They’d Ruin a First Date Immediately

I’m not sure who would purposely ruin a first date, but there are a ton of weirdos out there, so anything goes these days, it seems.

The question posed on AskReddit was: “You got ten seconds to ruin a first date. How?”

And AskReddit users let us into their twisted little worlds…enjoy!

1. Let’s speed this up.

“Tell them to make this quick you have another one in an hour.”

2. That was Johnny.

“Answer a fake phone call with “Hey babe. Yeah I’m at the bar with Johnny. See you later. Love you!’”

3. Mommy says so.

“Mom says I have to go on at least one date a month or else she’ll cut me off.

So let’s get this over with.”

4. Put a scare into them.

“Oh, I’m so glad you agreed to meet. My kids need a new Daddy.

Since I’ve been cleared of that *air quotes* accident my late husband had, it’s time to get back out there.

*takes phone call, whispering* No, no, he’s here. Yeah. No, he’s not a drinker so the liver should be fine.”

5. Some light conversation.

“What’s your stance on abortion?

Because you should know my stance on condoms.”

6. That should do it.

“Her: “Hi! Thank you for coming to pick me up!”

Me: “I don’t think I could have waited another second.” and then rip the juiciest, rankest fart possible just after she’s gotten in the car and make sure to lock the windows so she can’t get fresh air. Follow with “You’re WELCOME.” “

7. Dig for gold.

“Don’t say a word, lock eyes, and just go knuckle deep in my nose and dig around for a good long while.”

8. You might get punched.

“I have another girl waiting so if we’re not gonna fuck after this I need to go.”

9. Forgot about that.

“Whoops left this on.

Slip off wedding band.”

10. This will get you in trouble.

“Laugh very loudly and obnoxiously and then exclaim, “I haven’t laughed this hard since 9/11″

Works every time.”

11. This is a great opportunity.

“Admit you aren’t attracted to them and only invited them out to hear about your great MLM business opportunity.”

12. How rude!

“I much rather be doing something else right now, but I guess this will do.”

13. Too much, too soon.

“I think I’m falling in love with you.”

14. If they agree, it all works out.

“I’d say “So now that I’m here we can discuss prices.

For me being at this dinner it’s $250. If you want to have sex later it will be an extra $500.”

15. Creeper vibes.

“Aww. Look at this puppy!

It’s so sexy, makes me really horny.”

16. Oh, Mother! She always knows best!

“Just reply with laughing for 5 seconds minimum followed by “Mother always says that!””

17. Put them to sleep.

“Explain the intricate details as to why RBMK Reactor number 4 failed causing Europe’s biggest nuclear accident.”

18. First things first.

“Ask to see their feet before even greeting them.”

19. I think that would probably work.

“Scratch my scalp furiously and say, “Ugh, I hate having fleas!””

20. Meet the family!

“We can’t order until my wife and kids get here to see if they like you.”

21. He’ll be gone in no time.

“I’m gonna walk in, in a wedding dress with a priest, ask him to marry me.”

Those all sound pretty good to me! Cheers to ruining a first date!

What do you think? Have you ever sabotaged a date on purpose? Or maybe you blew it on accident and regretted it?

Share your dating disaster stories with us in the comments!

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Painful and Pretty Funny Tweets About Getting Ghosted

Ghosting seems to be a recent phenomenon in the dating world…or maybe we just came up with a word for something that’s always been around.

Whatever the case, getting ghosted is a major bummer and most of us have had it happen at least once in our lives.

Here are some funny and very accurate tweets about getting ghosted…good luck out there.

1. You should make it happen!

2. Honey…you’ve been ghosted.

3. Sounds kinda classy.

4. They need to get on this.

5. Sad, but true.

6. We’re in love.

7. It was fun while it lasted.

8. That’s a lot!

9. Not again…

10. A preemptive strike.

11. One way of looking at it.

12. It’s all the same.

13. I would be down with this.

14. Gone in an instant.

15. Doesn’t work that way…

Ouch…those sting a little bit, huh? Isn’t dating a blast?!?! Yeah…maybe not so much…

Have you been ghosted before? Or maybe you were the person who actually did the ghosting?

Either way, tell us what happened in the comments!

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Guy Photoshops a Toy Godzilla Into His Travel Photos

Kieran Murray is a photographer on a mission…a mission to make us laugh!

Murray has traveled all over the world, and after going through his photos, he decided they could use a little extra fun. So he did what any brilliant mind would do: he Photoshopped a toy Godzilla into his pics!

And it looks like these two pals had the time of their lives.

Let’s take a look.

1. Breathing fire.

2. Go check out a smoke shop.

3. In China.

View this post on Instagram

15 mins into Chinese Temple and chill ?? ?? #bodyisatemple

A post shared by Kieran Murray ? (@ryangodzilling) on

4. Playing in the pumpkin patch.

5. Fun in the sun.

6. Playing games by the Thames.

View this post on Instagram

Just a couple of dames playing games by the Thames. Nbd

A post shared by Kieran Murray ? (@ryangodzilling) on

7. New York City.

View this post on Instagram

Blizzard Lizard ? . . . . . #ps_sparkle

A post shared by Kieran Murray ? (@ryangodzilling) on

8. Two cones, please.

9. Everything is bigger in Texas.

10. Enjoy the view.

11. Don’t look behind you…

Well, I found those pictures to be highly enjoyable!

How about you?

Share your thoughts with us in the comments!

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Funny Tweets About Going to High School

High school was a lot of fun, right? Teenage hormones were raging, juvenile delinquency was all the rage…oh, and we were learning some stuff, too.

Let’s relive those glory days with some hilarious tweets about the good times of high school…

1. Run for it!

2. Think about that one…

3. Never again.

4. Wayyyyyyyy too early.

5. The good old days.

6. It’s called research.

7. A big energy boost.

8. Just like Uncle Rico.

9. Snooze Fest.

10. Put in a lot of work.

11. I know you did!

12. The smart ones.

13. Not very realistic.

14. Takes a certain kind, I guess.

Those brought me back! Way back!

How about you? How did your high school years treat you?

Share with us in the comments!

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Very Funny Tweets That Are Also Very Dark

I’ve heard before that folks who have a dark sense of humor are more intelligent than other folks. There may be some truth to that, but if it were 100% true, I would be a total genius because I HAVE A SICK MIND.

Maybe a little too sick…but it is what it is.

If you’re like me, you’ll enjoy these tweets a whole lot.

1. Showed her.

2. It’s kind of true…

3. Pay no attention to him.

4. Don’t worry about me.

5. Forget about that.

6. Sad animals everywhere.

7. End it all now.

8. Yeah sure, buddy.

9. Wow. That is dark.

10. Now that’s a zinger!

11. Same here!

12. That’s depressing…

13. I mean, it’s her last chance.

Dark, yet funny! Right up my alley!

What about you? Do you have a sick sense of humor where anything goes?

Tell us about it in the comments, please!

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Hilarious Tweets About Being a Woman

Just to be clear: I am not a woman. BUT, I have two sisters, a mother, and I have a lot of women friends, so I’m here to say I can appreciate your struggles and your sense of humor.

But, at the end of the day, these tweets are for you, the females out there.

Enjoy these astute observations from the ladies of Twitter.

1. Why is it always this way?

2. Thanks a lot.

3. A total fantasy.

4. Like an animal.

5. Bull in a china shop.

6. He totally gets it.

7. The worst place to be in.

8. Maybe you should listen?

9. Squinting hard.

10. Kind of pointless.

11. Imagine that.

12. What a drag.

LOLOLOLOLz for DAYYYYYYYYz, right?

All the ladies out there, what do you think?

Are these tweets pretty accurate? Let us know in the comments!

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Tweets That Show How Having Siblings Is the Best and Worst Thing Ever

I grew up with a bunch of siblings and I can confirm that “sibling rivalry” is REAL.

They have your back no matter what, but that doesn’t mean they’re not going to make your life a living hell sometimes.

If you have brothers and sisters, you know what I’m talking about.

And so do the people who wrote these tweets.

1. Isn’t this great?!?!

2. This is TRUTH!

3. Thieves everywhere.

4. No motive.

5. Do I know you?

6. It really shows.

7. Isn’t that odd?

8. Entertain me.

9. This is who you’re looking for.

10. I can attest to this.

11. It’s in the past now.

12. That’s mine now.

13. Sounds pretty boring.

14. Run for it!

15. Time to put on a show.

Boy, did that bring back some fond memories of growing up!

What about you?

Tell us about the funny/crazy/ridiculous things you and your siblings got into together in the comments!

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A Megachurch Pastor Got Slammed for a Tweet about Truth and Gossip

Mega-church pastor John Hagee (who is also a millionaire) has come to be one of those figures that typifies why so many are frustrated with American Evangelicalism today.

From his support of Donald Trump to his downright bizarre brand of bigoted sermonizing, Mr. Hagee has a slippery relationship with ethics.

Which makes one particular tweet from him a pretty strange case study in Biblical interpretation.

It’s not clear why he chose to make this statement (possibly commenting on the Trump impeachment trial?), but whatever the reason, there’s a lot to unpack. Few would argue that gossip is a good thing, but what about the rest of the tweet?

First of all, that’s not what the verse says. The passage Hagee cites here is part of the Ten Commandments, and it reads:

“You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.”
– Exodus 20:16, New International Version

You can check other translations if you want. None of them say anything about being an eyewitness. Just that you shouldn’t bear false testimony. In other words, don’t lie about stuff.

John Hagee says if you didn’t see it yourself, anything you say about it is a lie. Which of course isn’t how anything works, but is especially problematic for his line of work.

As lots of people were quick to point out, this sentiment basically contradicts the entirety of Christianity.

“Then Jesus told him, ‘Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.’”
– John 20:29, NIV

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”
– Hebrews 11:1, NIV

And of course, even Biblical authors themselves were not eyewitnesses to the events they wrote about.

Most Biblical scholars – believers and non-believers alike – agree that the four Gospels (the section of the Bible that covers the life of Jesus) were written between 66 and 110 years after the fact. We don’t even know who wrote them, but whoever they were, they certainly didn’t experience any of it in person.

Honestly, screwing up on this many levels in one tweet is almost impressive.

What do you think of all this?

Let us know in the comments. But behave yourselves in there.

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Funny Tweets About Self-Care From Parents

When you’re single and you don’t have kids, you may think your life is busy and you have no time for taking care of yourself

But when you have kids? You’re in for a whole new world, my friends. A walk from the living room to the bathroom might be the only exercise you get during a week filled with family obligations.

Parents are still trying to practice self-care in their own unique ways, though.

And here are some funny tweets about it.

1. That’s what it’s called.

2. I totally get it.

3. Sleep is all you need.

4. Whatever works.

5. It’s a fun game!

6. All of the above.

7. Looks like she’s killin’ it.

8. That’s all you get from now on.

9. The ultimate checklist.

10. DON’T DO IT!

11. Whole lot of screaming going on.

12. You might be on to something.

13. Some truth right here.

14. The master plan.

15. That will also work.

Hey, self-care is important, right? No matter how small the doses are…

Parents, we want to hear from you!

Tell us how you break away if even for a second to have a little time to yourself. Let’s hear from you in the comments!

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