Category: Social

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Funny Signs From a Texas Restaurant That Might Make You Howl

During this crisis we’re all going through, THANK GOD that a lot of restaurants are still open for takeout.

One of those places is the El Arroyo in Austin, Texas. They’re not only open, they’ve stepped up their sign game in a major way to make customers and passers-by have a hearty laugh in this time of uncertainty.

Here are 13 signs from the El Arroyo that are pretty darn funny.

1. My hands have an alcohol problem.

Are you going through this right now, too?

2. Now you’re in the dog’s shoes…

Going a little stir crazy, are we?

3. That’s what we’ve been reduced to at this point.

How do you feel about this turn of events?

4. Carpe all those Diems, people!

That’s gonna feel pretty good, huh?

5. Try to avoid this if possible.

Nobody wants to hear your Zoot Toot.

6. They make an excellent point. 

Good thing we don’t have to hunt tacos in the wild, huh?

7. Ahhhhh! The horror!

That poor SOB…I’ll pray for him or her.

8. Sweats 4 Lyfe.

All day, every day! At least for now…

9. Good for your boobs!

Let them be free!

10. Summer body is put on hold until 2021.

Too much pizza, nachos, beef jerky, beer, tequila, the list goes on and on.

11. That wasn’t very professional.

You should refer them to HR.

12. Suzie is really acting out in class lately!

Are you having these kinds of conversations in the mirror?

13. Six feet apart, people…

Words to live by…

I’d love to go back to Austin and give this place a shot. My motto in life is “I can eat Mexican food every day of my life for every meal and I’d still never get sick of it.”

How about you? Have you seen any funny signs from businesses during this whole lockdown?

If so, please share a photo or tell us about it in the comments.

The post Funny Signs From a Texas Restaurant That Might Make You Howl appeared first on UberFacts.

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Funny Mental Health Memes That We Love

It’s important to look after your mental health.

And it’s especially crucial right now during this total shit show we’re all living through.

But we need to laugh in order to keep our spirits up, so let’s enjoy these tweets about trying to stay sane!

1. Here we go again.

2. Don’t leave me.

3. That was quick.

Oof ouch owie my mental health from dankmemes

4. Don’t make this a joke.

5. You’ll get through it.

Oof my mental health from dankmemes

6. Don’t try me…

7. Put on a smile.

Happy Mental Health Awareness Week! from dankmemes

8. You were saying?

9. Oh no!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

10. That’s not good…

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

11. All of that stuff.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

12. This could be dangerous.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

Those are funny…and totally accurate…

How are holding up right now?

Talk to us in the comments!

The post Funny Mental Health Memes That We Love appeared first on UberFacts.

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Here are Some Signs With Attitude That Might Make You Laugh Today

There are tons of boring jobs out there. Somebody has to make and change the signs for all kinds of businesses, and you know that can’t exactly be a crazy adventure. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun with it – like the people on this list did.

These are twelve examples of signs and other pieces of writing with attitude that would probably make you stop and snort if you came across them in the wild.

12. The great white nope

11. No need to wine about it

10. Shave-shaming is gonna take off

9. The moral fabric of the universe

8. Don’t forget to wave

7. That’s a lot of words for “volunteer”

6. They tryin’ to start a cat fight?

5. Thanks for the tip

4. Sounds like a little much

3. Unexpectedly wholesome

2. I can’t tell if this is intentional or not

1. Signed, The Ministry of Silly Walks

Seems like signs in general are getting less formal and more playful as culture changes. Maybe it’s just a sign of the times.

…I’ll see myself out.

What’s the funniest sign you’ve ever seen?

Tell us about it in the comments.

The post Here are Some Signs With Attitude That Might Make You Laugh Today appeared first on UberFacts.

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10 Karen Tweets Everyone Will Probably Laugh At

There’s a word I like to use: “nontroversy.” I wish I could attribute it to whomever first coined it, but I can’t remember where I heard it. A nontroversy is a non-controversy, or, if you prefer, a nonsense controversy. My favorite nontroversy in recent memory is whether the “Karen” meme should be considered some kind of slur. You’ll catch think pieces and posts about it that are difficult to parse out; are they serious? Are they joking? Who would actually be upset about this?

To demonstrate the hilarity and thorough harmlessness of the Karen meme, here are some Karen tweets that should make just about anybody laugh, no matter their swoopy hairstyle. Some of them don’t even use the “Karen” as a punchline, but more of a comedic flourish.

10. This is my fight song

9. Every Karen needs a Floyd

8. Supply and demand, Karen

7. I was told there would be yarn

6. You’re losing kitchen privileges

5. More at 11

4. I’d like to bark at your manager

3. A natural disaster

2. Thing cost money!?

1. Such a Leo thing to say

If you don’t want to be seen as a Karen, the first step is probably not taking Karen jokes too seriously.

Which one is your favorite?

Tell us in the comments.

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People Talk About Red Flags That Are Warning Signs in Friendships

Paying attention to red flags is not just limited to romance.

You need to look for them in your regular friendships as well. Trust me on this one, a terrible friend can make your life just as miserable as someone you’re sleeping with.

So remember to keep your eyes open with your friends as well because a bad friend can be a major bummer and they can be really hard to get rid of.

Here’s what AskReddit users had to say.

1. Don’t bring the bad vibes.

““Good vibes only” friends. That mentality is fine to have with yourself. But you can’t force that on others.

My best friend adopted this attitude and from then on, whenever I would come to her for support or advice on an issue I was having, she’d cut me off and say, “Ah ah ah! Good vibes only, remember?” Because I was bringing her down.

I put up with it for a long time because I thought she was right, that I was burdening her. But then I finally realized that that’s not how real friends act. They’re supposed to support and help each other.”

2. I’m over here!

“Having their damn phone in their face the whole time. If they do that, they don’t want a friend, they want company. It’s not the same.”

3. This drives me insane.

“Friends who constantly call you for advice but, never take it and continue to involve you in their drama.

If you’re not going to make moves to improve your situation stop asking me for help.”

4. Pay attention to these.

“When they pressure you to do things for them (or a certain way) and act like you were on board the whole time. (coercion)

They say they are “holding you accountable” to something you never wanted in the first place. (gaslighting)

They take the “high road” when you get angry because they won’t respect your boundaries. (play the victim).”

5. Insensitive.

“They never say anything supportive of you. But they will point of your flaws, and can’t wait to burn you, because its funny, to them.

And then the follow up of “you’re too sensitive” “It’s just joking”.”

6. This is frustrating.

“Friends that are a one way street. I was always the one to message, call, or make plans with them. I was always the one to check up on them to see if they were okay. I always offered a helping hand and be there for them.

I decided to stop to see if they would reach out to me, but we never spoke to me again. Oh, well.”

7. “Emotional vampires.”

“Friends that aren’t happy for your success and happiness, but are very close when you’re sad.”

8. Look out for this one.

“This is subtle and a bit counterintuitive but beware of the rescuer-martyr. The person that’s always rushing out to help and give everyone else their all whether or not it’s needed or whether the recipient is comfortable with it. They are good people, very well intentioned and saintly in their generosity with their time and energy.

However, sometimes it goes to the extreme and then it’s more a symptom of a toxic cycle where they only get meaning and self-worth when they are saving someone; or maybe they keep swooping into other people’s lives to fix things in hopes that someone will do the same for them.

They may have good intentions but they tend not to have good boundaries; they get overinvolved in your life; take on way too much and make everyone’s problems their own. They end up overwhelmed, mired in drama, and resentful. And then they become the martyr.

The problem with being friends with this type of person is that you’re not in an equal friendship where you like each other, enjoy spending time with each other; and when there happen to be downs, you support each other through them.

It’s more like you’re a project, everyone’s a project; and once you stop being a project you’re now support – not just for them and their own problems, but part of the fire brigade for their other projects (which they’ve internalized as their own problems and drama).”

9. That gets pretty old.

“If you have had a friend for a long time, but you only seem to be able to talk about memories in the past.

Each time you get together or exchange messages, it’s “Remember in high school….” or “Remember that time when….”

Could be a sign that you both have grown apart and do not have much in common today that you can connect on.”

10. All about them.

“Friends who are always happy to talk about themselves but never once ask you how you’re doing or anything engaging you to talk about yourself.”

11. Best friends!

“Personally I’ve always had bad experiences with people who say everyone is their “best friend.”

When my best friend in high school started calling 10 different people including me her best friend, that was when I knew I was just an accessory, and she was trying to surround herself with people to love her.”

12. This happens ALL THE TIME.

“When they ditch you the moment they start dating someone.”

13. Bullying is bad.

“They try to correct your personal preferences for you. Bully you out of liking certain clothing/music/foods/art, etc. They’ll often frame it as if they’re doing you a favor.

It’s a sign of emotional immaturity when people treat others like play objects rather than human beings.”

14. Don’t be a flake.

“Being flaky.

Nobody is that busy for a 2 second text to cancel plans or to not even agree to them at all.”

Beware of these kinds of people!

It’ll probably help you out a lot in the long run.

What are the red flags you look for in your friendships?

Share your thoughts with us in the comments!

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People Talk About What Their Parents Threw out That Would Be Worth a Lot of Money These Days

My dad always says that if he would’ve kept his baseball card collection from the 1950s he’d be a millionaire.

Well, it didn’t exactly work out that way…

I don’t know if he threw those cards out or his parents did, but they’re LONG GONE.

And you know this is a pretty common story.

A lot of us had collections of all kinds of stuff when we were kids that suddenly disappeared for one reason or another.

In this AskReddit article, people talk about the things they had as kids that would be worth a lot of money…if their parents hadn’t thrown it all away.

1. Dammit, Mom!

“My brother had a bunch of first edition Pokémon cards, that he spent over a year collecting.

Mom took them away for getting in trouble at school, and they were never seen again.”

2. Oh, those…

“I had the complete collection of teenage mutant ninja turtles figures.

I packed them into a box and put them away then later when looking for them i couldn’t find them… asked my mother.. “oh those, i threw them out.. you weren’t playing with them anymore””

3. It’s not “junk”.

“About 40 Indian Arrow heads collected on my grandparents farm for years by myself and my grandfather and full sets of baseball cards from 1969-1980, my mom decided to toss out all that “junk” when I moved out for military.”

4. That is not cool.

“After my mom died, my dad met this crazy, Jehovah’s Witness woman and one thing led to another. About a month before my high school graduation we got into a HUGE fight over something  and she burned my collection of old Dungeons and Dragons
books and magic cards.

Complete collections…Every 1st edition book in good condition
signed by Gary Gygax. I guess my brother knew him at some point.

The real kicker? I rode the wave of the original magic the gathering launches back in the day, complete sets of the original series through…homelands? All burnt to a crisp. Every once in a while when i want to be depressed about never being able to retire i look up the card values.”

5. Comic books.

“Nearly all of the first 24 editions of virtually every Marvel series, from The Fantastic Four to Spiderman (including the Amazing Tales in which he was introduced) to Iron Man, the Hulk, Thor, Sgt. Fury and His Howling Commandos. Basically all of them.

At a comic book store I was once looking at some collectors editions of those comics priced at about $1,500 to $,2400. I said to the clerk “Man, I used to have all of these.”

The clerk, whom I’m sure was Matt Groening’s model for Comic Book Man, without even looking up said in a bored voice, “Do you know how many times a day I hear that?””

6. Evil devil music!

“My mom had a collection of signed Beatles records that she threw away after she converted to Christianity because played backwards they summoned the devil or something.

For years I was hoping to inherit it when I grew up.

All I think it summoned was poverty. :/ “

7. Stamp collectors.

“Stamps.

When I was around 7 I used to stay at this friend of my parents house. She was older, and sort of a substitute grandmother. Her mother lived with her, she used to collect stamps. When she passed away the subbie gran gave me the collection.

My oldest brother had them in his room, I can’t remember why. My parents used to make a big pile in the middle of our rooms of what was messy and we had a couple of hours to put it all away. My brother faffed about and didn’t do it. So the remaining pile was thrown out. In that pile was the collection of stamps.

To this day I believe that there would have been valuable stamps in that collection considering the age of the collection, but I’ll never know.”

8. That’s kind of weird.

“I had mined 8 bitcoins at age 16. Kept them in a hard disk. When they grew in value I searched for and hard disk to know that my mom sold it to a 19 yr old for $50. I still curse my mom for doing that.”

9. Those very popular dolls.

“Barbies.

My family wasn’t super well-off growing up, but for some reason they allowed my sibling and I to amass dozens of Barbies, hundreds of clothes, two doll houses, three cars, one RV, a plane, and so fucking much else besides. When I was 12 and had outgrown it all, my dad decided it was time to pass them onto younger cousins or otherwise get rid of them.

Looking back, we should’ve held onto most of it. I had celebrity Barbies, anniversary Barbies, Barbies that came with horses, or were ballerinas, or were otherwise novel in the Barbie world. I literally spent 10 years collecting Barbies and now don’t even have a single shoe to show for it.”

10. I bet you’d like to have those right about now.

“The original Transformers in boxes. Had all main characters and nearly all of the smaller bots. Got em when I was 11, 12 or so in the mid 80s.

Left for the military and mom had a huge garage sale…”

11. That’s interesting.

“Lynyrd Skynyrd had released an album where the album cover had the band members standing in a fire. Not long after the release of this album, some of the members died in a plane crash and they recalled the albums so they could give it a more appropriate cover.

My grandpa had one of the originals and he probably could have made a lot off it… if his mom didn’t throw it away not knowing what it was…”

12. Long gone.

“A bunch of World War I coins that was thrown away because I never looked at them, I knew they were gonna be worth a fortune so I tried to not go near them because I was extremely paranoid.”

13. That’s a rough one.

“Not thrown away, but sold. I had a baseball card collection with over 200,000 cards when I was a teenager. Many HOF autographs, memorabilia cards, signed gloves and balls, a game worn jersey from the Padres 98 World Series run.

Needless to say, it was already worth a decent amount at that time. I have looked up some of the larger items in today’s retail markets, and those alone would’ve fetched around $20-25,000 USD. My mom took them when I moved to my dad’s house because she was abusive. Sold it all for a few thousand on Craigslist and kept the money.”

14. Remember those?

“My collection of Polly Pockets.

I’ve literally seen some of the ones I had worth thousands of dollars now.”

15. The vintage stuff.

“Robots, lots of robots from the 60’s, and 70’s, some were the tin type, some were plastic, some I haven’t even seen on the internet although I keep thinking someone has to have at least one left somewhere.

All in total about 25+ kinds of robots from my childhood, that my dad threw out because apparently when you turn 12, you don’t need toys. This is probably why my wife makes fun of all the junk I keep, because I never got the choice to part with them so now I horde all remaining childhood possessions.”

16. Had to do it.

“I remember when state quarters first came out, my father sent me a collection of every first edition state quarter and one time I went to show my friends awhile later and couldn’t find them, I asked my mother and she said she had to use them for laundry.

We were very poor at the time so I understand, but I was a little sad by it as well because it was one of the only things my father ever sent me.”

Ouch!

It hurts to read some of those stories, huh?

Now we want to hear from you!

Did your parents ever get rid of some items that became valuable a lot later? Or maybe you lost them or threw them away yourself?

Tell us all about it in the comments!

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People Share Their Dumbest Ideas That Actually Worked

Sometimes, dumb ideas really do the trick!

I can’t say it’s ever really happened to me, but it definitely does for some folks out there.

And you’re about to read about them!

Here are some very entertaining stories from AskReddit users.

1. Wow! That’s crazy!

“In my freshman year of college, my grades were really not great. And my parents were really strict about getting good grades. When my dad asked to see my grades, I panicked and did the inspect command on the computer where you can change type faces on the screen to read different words and letters.

I changed all of my shitty grades to good grades. My dad was so happy that I did “good” my first year of school. He asked me to print my results. I did, and turns out he had to send them to our car insurance company for a “good student discount”. Ultimately, I committed insurance fraud by accident. But I got the discount.”

2. You look weird, but it works.

“Wearing a motorcycle helmet while snowblowing.

I did it because i missed riding, it kept my face warm and when snow would fly back at me the visor would protect me.”

3. A dangerous idea.

“A storm broke a limb on a tree hanging over my house in my back yard, but it was still hanging on by a few splinters. I didn’t want it to fall, and it wasn’t in a place where I could use my ladder to get to it.

So I found some rope, tied a brick to it, threw the brick and rope over the limb, made a crude rope swing, and swung and pulled at the branch until it finished breaking.

It wasn’t until I was using the chainsaw to cut it up that I realized how many times during my stupid idea I could have easily hurt or even killed myself.”

4. That’s pretty good!

“Our power was out due to a storm. I had a campstove to use for boiling water to make a coffee pour-thru, but I couldn’t use my electric grinder for the coffee beans. I tried fashioning a mortal and pestle but it was taking too long.

So, I put the coffee beans in a couple of ziplock bags, placed the bag right behind a car tire, then ran over it back and forth a couple of times to crush the beans. Worked like a charm.”

5. V.I.P.

“A friend and I once snuck 15 people into the Warped Tour by giving them some bracelets from a party supply store and clipboards full of paper.

Walked up to the side gate and said we were with Rock The Vote. The security guard waved us right in.”

6. You’re hired!

“I forgot to bring a resume to a job interview, but I had an index card in my bag. I cut the index card in half and wrote my name, my contact info, and “creative problem solver” in my best handwriting, and gave a copy of my “business card” to both the interviewers.

I got the job.”

7. This is great.

“When I was young and broke I bought a sofa from a used furniture store. I had no way to take the sofa home.

I went to a used car lot a couple of blocks away and took a truck for a test drive…”

8. Just like on TV!

“I’m stuck on a cliff, but if I jump at a really sharp angle at that gravel field, I could just slide down there and be fine, just like in TV!“

Every time I think about this I am amazed I’m not either flattened by a rock, or impact against something.

Childhood really is just the tutorial level sometimes.”

9. Congratulations!

“In college I was taking a class that required me to purchase an online textbook and workbook that was registered under your name, basically ensuring that each student would have to buy a new online copy each semester instead of buying used textbooks.

I had a friend who took this class a semester before me so we came up with the idea to message customer service and explain that I had recently gotten married (so my last name had changed) and I legally changed my first name from [my friend’s first name] to [my first name] and I would need them to change it in their system.

It totally worked and the rep even congratulated my on my marriage.”

10. This is smart.

“Real estate told me I had to have the carpets professionally cleaned (wasn’t in the contract) or I’d lose my $800 bond.

I did some research and found out I could become an accredited carpet cleaner as there are no official licencing boards in my state.

So, I did what any sane person would do. I paid the $85, did the online course and got my certificate. Registered a business name, ABN etc etc. (all free)

Handed the property management a copy of my accreditation and an invoice for services.

I became a professional carpet cleaner and launched a vacate cleaning business that is still going 6 months later.

I did clean the carpets. They claimed I didn’t and required a professional cleaners invoice as proof. So I gave them the proof.

I did not charge the real estate agency, it was a copy of the invoice they claimed to require.

I do professional house keeping and cleaning for vacating a property at the end of lease to enure you get maximum bond back.

I help people who are being unfairly treated by their property management and advise them on what steps to take in regards to cleaning, repairs etc

-With the return of the bond, and some smart shopping, I was able to purchase my own equipment to continue the job, I then claimed those costs back on tax.”

11. Blind luck.

“This idea could’ve easily gotten me fired if it went wrong.

I was working as art-director at an animation studio, making videos for clients. One client was especially pesky about the use of yellow in the background. They wanted it to be that of their logo, which was this horrible neon-piss yellow.

We advised against it, but after numerous calls we had to cave and gave a version with that colour. They hated it, and asked for a change. What followed were 12 versions with numerous calls in between tweaking the colour over and over.

Eventually I got tired of it and just sent the original version again, I didn’t even bother to rename the file. The client said “this looks exactly the way I wanted, thank you”!

How that ever went right I still have no idea.”

12. When in Rome…

“Dressing like a redneck to pick up chicks. Went to college in the south but the guys there were all very preppy. I thought because a lot of the girls grew up in the south, they would be drawn to more of a redneck vibe that not many people on campus had. so I bought a camo fishing hat.

Literally had three girls start conversations with me that day.”

13. Very satisfying.

“There was a swarm of hornets that had made a nest under the front of our porch with only one specific narrow entry in or out.

Spray wouldn’t work and it was right under our front door, so had no way to keep exterminating them.

Then I realized “why not whirring blades of metal?”. We DID have an old 50s metal fan and I could maybe blow them away from the entrance so they had no way to get in.

The unanticipated effect was that it worked, though after a few hours had created a Civil War battlefield of dead or dying hornets piling up like a zombie tower in World War Z. Every few moments you’d hear “thunk” as another hornet fell into the trap.

So satisfying.”

14. Fakin’ it.

“Was really REALLY desperate to leave past employer after 15 years. Had been applying and interviewing and striking out. Finally got an interview at a place where (at the time) I felt, “meh, I am not really sure this is right for me, but anything is better than where I am at.”

Instead of prepping for the interview, rehearsing answers, etc…I pulled an “office space.” I was cocky, brash, unconcerned, made it seem like I was happy where I was at and didn’t really care if I got the job or not.

They called me back the next week and I waited a week to return their call. Same deal with the second interview. When they offered me the job, I hemmed and hawed, said I needed to think about it really hard, and that it was a “big move” for me, etc., etc. I came back and demanded well over $15,000 above what they were offering in salary. They accepted.”

15. Just like Costanza.

“It probably wouldn’t work in this day and age but back when I was young I was tired of retail and wanted an office job. I just lied my ass off and pulled a total George Costanza what with friends coached to answer their phones as a business and such.

Got hired as an admin assistance and been steadily moving up since.”

Color me impressed!

I guess I’ll have to give more dumb ideas a chance once in a while.

How about you? Have you had any dumb ideas that actually ended up working out?

If so, please tell us about them in the comments!

The post People Share Their Dumbest Ideas That Actually Worked appeared first on UberFacts.

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Police Officers Talk About the Smartest Criminals They’ve Ever Encountered

It’s been a permanent fixture of film, television, and literature for years. The cunning criminal who is so bright that they routinely outsmart the police and make them look foolish.

But this phenomenon exists in real life too, believe it or not.

AskReddit users shared their stories about especially smart criminals.

Let’s see what they had to say.

1. That is insane.

“My favorite was the guy who stole a post office mailbox off the street, repainted it, and then put it next to the night deposit box at a bank.

And hung an out-of-order sign on the deposit box. All the businesses came along and dropped off their deposits in the mailbox.”

2. Ahhhhh, the GPS.

“I worked crime scenes. This guy had attached GPS to the bottom of peoples cars who owned houses, he wanted to rob.

He did it to ensure they wouldn’t be showing up while he was ransacking the place.”

3. Almost got away with it.

“I remember an officer telling me about a B&E alarm he and his team responded to. No one was there to report the alarm, it must have been a security monitoring company that called.

When police showed up, everything seemed normal, most lights were off, and there was an employee still working. Explains he was there working late and must have set off an alarm.

They almost believed him until he said “uhh” before saying the name of the company he worked for. After that it was downhill but with a little more research he would have pretty much gotten away with it.”

4. On parole…

“There’s one guy I recently dealt with who is on parole. I stopped him in my city after he was looking to buy drugs (usually people come from all over to buy drugs and then leave). I issue him a warning and let him go as it’s pretty common and he sang like a bird regarding the people he was trying to buy from.

Anyway, the next day, I got a call from his parole officer who says he was alerted the guy was pulled over and wanted to verify that It was his guy that I stopped. I’m a little confused at first but he goes on to say that the day before, he was scheduled to meet with him but he had an excuse and bailed.

His excuse was that he was in the hospital. Well when he spoke with him the following day, he was able to provide documentation that he had entered the hospital day 1 and had left day 2. Well I had stopped him at 115 in the morning and after looking at the picture, it was 100% him.

Turns out the guy had checked in then out of the hospital on day 1, then in and out again on day 2. He then re arranged half the paperwork to make it look like he was in the hospital overnight which would make my car stop of him appear like I mixed him up with someone else as well as give him a valid excuse to miss their meeting.

Not sure what’s gonna happen to that guy but I thought it was pretty clever.”

5. It’s cold outside.

“Worked at a jail. After getting off work, I watched an ex inmate (homeless) being released, he walked over to a patrol car, looked me in the eye, and the elbowed the window in. He was walked back to the entrance and re-booked in. It was middle of January. He didn’t want to get too cold.

To the people talking about “Can’t break car windows.” That’s true. Also depends on the car. The patrol car they used was specifically old model. Used more for the perimeter of the jail unless other patrol cars were in the shop. Those windows had been replaced so many times. Idk if it’s the same material or what.”

6. The great state of Costco.

“A friend of my brother moved to Israel where for a period of time it was/is acceptable to drive with an American driver’s license.

He was pulled over for speeding, and when asked for his license, gave the officer his Costco card (Costco is a membership-based retail warehouse in the US and a few other countries. The exchange apparently went something like this: Officer: “Costco? What is Costco?”

Friend: “It’s the state I’m from.”

Officer: “That sounds made up.”

Friend: “There are lots of states you probably haven’t heard of. Have you heard of Arkansas? How about Idaho?”

Officer: “I guess not…”

Friend: “Well I’m from the small state of Costco.”

The officer didn’t have a response and wound up writing the ticket to someone with a Costco driver’s license. Friend framed the ticket and still has it hanging on his wall.”

7. It all adds up.

“One guy would print barcodes, bring them into home depot and stick them on merchandise in the $100 range. When scanned the items came up around the $10 range. Putting random barcodes on things isnt really illegal and super hard to notice. Guy two would come in an hour later and buy the underpriced stuff. Complete plausible deniability. They would then sell the stuff on Ebay.

Only reason they got caught is because the guy with the barcode printer/software cut the second guy out of the operation so guy 2 stole a bunch of barcodes, put them on the merchandise and paid for it immediately afterwards. He then proceeded to rat on the first guy and spilled the beans they had been doing this on a weekly basis for over four years.

Because we could only pin the one case on him, the burglary was dropped down to a pretty theft and he walked away with a few days in county and a small fine. Dude probably took homedepot for tens of thousands over the years.”

8. Fraud!

“I have a nice story from insurance/debt collectors.

There was this guy who was already in heaps of debt. Like more than a lifetimes worth of debt.

He proceeded to file several policereports for identity theft up to the point that he got protected from financial checkups – It was a temporary measure that were given to repeated identity theft victims. At the same time he had reported fake income to the IRS for the last couple of years to between 40 to 60 millions depending on the year.

So when he applied for credit cards and loans, they were unable to check his financial credit (Due to the identity theft protection) but they checked his tax returns which showed he had a massive income.

Got his loans and credit cards – emptied them out and left the country.”

9. Very clever…

“A while back, there was a series of thefts along the bus lines in my country. People’s things kept missing from one city to the next, and nobody had any idea what happened as things were presumably safe in the bottom of the bus which nobody except the driver had the access to.

What happened?

Apparently there were two guys, one of whom was really small. You get where this is going. The big guy would put the little guy in a suitcase, buy a ticket to somewhere, load him up with the rest of the luggage, and enjoy the ride, while the little guy went out, stole people’s electronics, jewelry, cameras and whatnot, then returned to his suitcase until the ride was over.

Not really sure how they caught them, but it was pretty amusing to read about, and i found the whole thing clever enough.”

10. This guy wasn’t messing around.

“There was an incident in Fargo ND where a guy wanted to steal electronics equipment. The store had plenty of alarms on it and generally cutting an alarm triggers an alarm so instead he cut ALL the alarms. This was before cellphones were really widespread and alarms were usually just connected to the phone line.

He found an access point to one of the phone companies big trunk lines (correction: 9 access points). Massive thick copper cables with tens of thousands of lines running through them. He cut through the whole thing with a circular saw, knocked out phone service to most of the town and robbed an audio store during the ensuing chaos.

There were no leads until a tip came in from another town where he’d pulled something similar. They hadn’t been able to pin that to him but had strong suspicions and he’d relocated to Fargo. So the cops pay him a visit. He refused to let them in because they didn’t have a warrant so the cops left to get one without leaving anyone to watch him and he split. When they came back they found the saw coated in copper dust and a lot of the stolen stuff.

He was in the wind for a while but even after he got caught he had another card to play. While being transported between prisons he used a key he’d made to unlock his shackles and climbed out the roof vent of the bus.”

11. In broad daylight.

“20 years ago a guy on Australia’s Gold Coast got away with a bank robbery in broad daylight.

He cased the bank for a while and discovered a pattern of the bank manager arriving about 30 minutes before anyone else each morning where he would leave the front doors unlocked so staff could help themselves in without a key or needing to wait for the boss to come and let them in.

One morning the crook dressed himself up for a busy day of office work and waited for the bank manager to arrive. As the manager was unlocking the doors he made his move, entering the building and threatening the manager with a gun. He got all the details he’d need to access the vault and so forth and then tied the manager up and stuffed him in his office.

When the staff arrived he told them that the manager had called in sick and that regional office had sent him in to do the open shop thing and no one batted an eyelid. This bank had a small walk in vault that normally only held about 30-50k on any given day but old mate had timed his robbery for the morning after business banking day when all the local small businesses would make their end of week deposits and reportedly got a score of close to 250k.

Once the vault was open he pulled his gun out and invited all the staff to enter the vault and locked them in. By this stage the bank was due to be open so when he went to leave there were a number of customers waiting to get inside to do their banking.

He told them all that there had been an issue with the computers and that the tech team had estimated it would take about 30 minutes before the issue would be resolved and that they couldn’t open until then.

Then he got into his car and drove straight to the airport and flew to Hong Kong and then disappeared.

To my knowledge the cops never caught him and never managed to find the money – they knew he’d have had to leave most of it in Australia somewhere because you can only take 10k aud in cash in any currency out of the country before customs pulls you into their interview rooms so the assumption was that he had to have an accomplice here who would funnel the money to him slowly over time.”

12. Never got caught.

“Several years ago in Cape Coral FL, a man waited on a sidewalk in front of a Publix grocery store and used a taser on an armored car guard carrying too bags of money.

A get away driver in a car with stolen tags pulled up, taser guy and money bags get in and they took off. Never caught.”

13. Small-town crime.

“Probably one of the smartest robberies in my small city.

One of the main streets is cut into a hillside and, as a result, there is a very steep and quite tall concrete-covered bank immediately behind the buildings. Between two buildings there is a gap that was filled at the street-end by an ATM.

To access it for filling, the security staff went through the next door building, out a side door and into the gap, which had the ATM at one end and the steep bank at the other. On the Friday before Christmas, when the ATM was to be filled to the brim, one of the robbers abseiled down the bank at night into the gap and waited for the guys to arrive to fill the ATM (they came early in the morning).

As they came through the door into the gap, he held them up, took the money, and took off through the building to an accomplice waiting in a van on the main street. Then the van took off on the main road out of the city and vanished.

After a big search, the police finally found the burnt-out van. Turned out the gang had driven it up a gorge road and had two other accomplices in cars at the top and bottom of the gorge who simultaneously drove really slowly into the gorge and held up the traffic so that no one was there to see them when they turned off down an access road into some bush.

They ended up being caught, because one of the gang was a former employee of the security company.”

14. Working the system.

“I worked with this one guy who had a lengthy record. He had a system for getting released if he got caught. After committing a crime, if the police were in pursuit and he knew he was about to be cornered, he would act insane.

His girl would play along with it telling the police that he was off his medication. The police would arrest him but then send him to a mental ward with papers instructing the ward to release to police once he was cleared. Once he was in the mental ward, he would cause a distraction that would make the person attending the desk with the file cabinet to leave said cabinet.

He would then crawl to the file cabinet, look for his “release to police” papers, and then would literally eat the papers. When the psych evaluators decided that he was stable enough to be released, there would be no instructions to send him to the police, and he would be released to the general public.

He did this about 10 times until police officers noticed him back on the streets. This stunt forced the state to change their procedure for detaining mentally unstable suspects.”

As someone who is pretty obsessed with crime, these stories were very interesting to me.

Now we want to hear from you!

Have you run across any wily criminals in your day?

Maybe as a cop, a lawyer, or in some other capacity?

Tell us about them in the comments!

The post Police Officers Talk About the Smartest Criminals They’ve Ever Encountered appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Discuss What It Would Take to Make Them 100% Happy in Life

This is a difficult question for any person to answer: what would it take to make you 100% happy.

I think some folks out there don’t even believe that a person can be 100% happy…but I guess it all depends on the individual…

Some people want big, grand things in their lives and others want simplicity

Here’s what folks on AskReddit had to say about the matter.

1. Very lonely.

“A friend or, God forbid, a girlfriend.

I’ve been out of college several years now and I’ve been friendless ever since. Hard to be excited about something and have nobody to tell.”

2. All they’ve ever wanted.

“I think finding someone who genuinely loves me for who I am and wants a present and future with me.

That’s all I’ve ever really wanted.”

3. Needing a break.

“Man if I had childcare in this moment I would totally lay down for like 2 hours for a nap!

But I. I am the childcare.”

4. Money issues.

“Being debt-free.

Student loans make up at least 80% of my stress…”

5. A big loss.

“Having my dog. His final vet visit was a couple hours ago.

I’m out of country working so I had to say my goodbyes when I left after Christmas. It’s very difficult by myself.

He was a great pet. He picked our family at 8 weeks. He was well loved and looked after.

His ashes will be joining me when it’s my turn.”

6. Like it used to be.

“My wife to be well again. If she felt better and we could hang out like we used to, I honestly feel like my life would be perfect.”

7. This sounds nice.

“A cabin in the woods, near a river. Solid and beautiful. Lots of windows, and an incredible view. It’ll smell like cedar and pipe tobacco. A simple wood shop, and maybe a small painting studio. A large wood-burning fireplace. A cozy kitchen; nothing fancy.

Really good coffee in mismatched mugs. Plenty of bourbon and wine. Loooots of books, and enough time to actually read them. Walks in the woods with my wife and dog. Fishing, canoeing, and shore lunches. Watching wildlife. Drawing and painting. A nice little town nearby (but just far enough away) with a good bookstore, an old diner, and a lively tavern (need a spot to watch those Packers games).

A well-seasoned and reliable old truck to get us there and back. Long days with my wife, listening to music (on vinyl), laughing, cooking, making love. Never feeling bored, never feeling rushed. Time enough to be able to just be us, and do all those things we never seem to get around to doing.”

8. Three things.

“A cure for writers block, a long attention span, and 3 extra inches in height.”

9. Best wishes to you!

“My daughter being old enough so I can take her home, she was born at 32 weeks, she might be coming home in a week :)!”

10. Need to recapture that.

“To just have energy and enthusiasm again.

It feels like I’ve had very little energy for anything for almost 10 years now. I feel like a passive observer in my life most of the time. Im doing what I’m supposed to, but any enjoyment has long since died.”

11. These are good goals.

“To finish college ( pretty soon), get my optometry degree and become an optometrist in the rural and underserved areas in US.

Also, a significant other who will be there beside me.”

12. Wouldn’t this be nice for everyone?

“Affordable healthcare forreal. I have to wait until I can save up enough to see the ENT again.. last run it went : see specialist, go to imaging center, back to specialist for results (that can be relayed via phone.

Cost $165 just to have him hand me a piece of paper), then to the surgical center. Just to find out what he thought was causing my eustachian tube issues, isn’t the problem. Back to square fucking one with $0.. America, please get your shit together.

I work 50 hours a week, I bust my ass, I haven’t been without a job since I was 15.. I’m in my thirties. At this rate I won’t see 60 because it’ll cost too much to fucking live that long”

13. In a lot of pain.

“No more pain.

I want to be able to check my own mail, take a walk out back, do groceries without using the go cart. Walk without using a cane. Be out of bed for most of the day.

Hell, I’d be 100% happy with 70% less pain.”

14. Here’s the list.

“8-9 hours of sleep every night, at least 4 very good friends and a knowledge of who everyone around me is, being really smart and having a secure job as a marine biologist studying the deep ocean. Also a happy family with kids who I take to get cookies on Fridays.”

15. For my son.

“My son’s doctor to call me and say he is completely cured and will grow up normal and healthy, he can stop any medicine he currently takes (about 16 pills a day for a 2 year old is a lot) and we never have to go back to the doctor.”

16. Go for it!

“Being able to ask out a woman i am attracted to instead of always chickening out.”

17. Another chance.

“Being pregnant again, with the 100% assurance that this time the baby will live.”

18. The good stuff.

“Get hired for a really awesome part time job.

Find a gym buddy I connect with and start exercising again.

Make strides every week in therapy and in managing my addictions.

Meet a great girl who I have tons of chemistry with.

My mom getting really good news about her medical condition and her recovering as close to 100% as possible.

Meeting new friends with healthy habits.”

19. Something to think about.

“Happiness is an inside Job.

I spent many years chasing “the dream.” Dream job, SO, toys, etc. It’s all just stuff. Only when I almost lost everything did I finally wake up and realize what is truly important in this life. Right now.

What are you doing right now to make your life better? No one else is/can make you happy, truly happy. Tomorrow is a wish and yesterday is gone. If you try and live in those two places you are pissing all-over today.”

20. I think a lot of people feel this way.

“Start earning enough money to not be stressed, and to be free of any mental health issues.”

Everyone is different, and that’s one of the things that makes living in the crazy world very interesting!

What about you?

What would make you a completely happy person?

Please share your thoughts with us in the comments.

We’d love to hear from you!

The post People Discuss What It Would Take to Make Them 100% Happy in Life appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share the Unique Things They Have in Their Homes

What’s the rarest thing you have in your house?

I’m talking about something you have in your home that most people definitely don’t have in theirs…

It could be worth a lot of money, or maybe it’s something that is priceless only to you.

AskReddit users opened up and talked about the rare items they own.

Enjoy!

1. He is missed.

“I got an autograph from Chef Anthony Bourdain.

His was just about the only celebrity death that had a real impact on me.”

2. Memories from my grandfather.

“I have a large storage container filled to the top with McDonald’s toys. Before my grandfather passed away he would go and get a coffee every morning and would get me a toy from there when he got a coffee.

I’ve kept them ever since. I can bring myself to part with them. I have full collections of the Monsters Inc toys, the Lilo and Stitch toys, Winnie the Pooh, Beanie Babies, etc. 90’s and early 2000’s toys. That man was a saint, and my hero.”

3. Talkin’ about money.

“An uncut currency sheet.

It is 50 1 dollar bills that were never cut when the came out of the US Mint.”

4. That is unique.

“8 different copies of the secret garden by Frances Burnett.

It is not my favorite book. I first recieved and read a copy of it when I was 9, so it is a very sentimental book for me.

I have so many copies because I enjoy collecting the more beautiful art styles that it gets published in. As a classic it gets republished very frequently so to prevent me from just buying way too many copies I re-read the book everytime I buy a new one.”

5. How did that happen?

“A balloon that was inflated a couple days before I was born. 17 years later and it has barely lost any air.”

6. Now, that’s old!

“An antique ship anchor from the year 1597.

Dredged up from The river Maas.

Its not a huge anchor from a full sized manowar or something. Those were the size of a house. I think this was from a fishing vessel or a small trade vessel for river trade here in the Netherlands.

Not found by me unfortunately but I bought it from the man who did. Found in the ’70s.

The date it was made is on the anchor. And the mark on it is a kind of “house mark” these marks were used by rich but not noble families, no cost of arms, to mark stuff that was theirs.

Around 60 kg but it’s a guess.

Height: 124 CM Width: 81 CM.”

7. That’s…different.

“A collection of human teeth stuck on a candle.”

8. A piece of history.

“A piece of the Berlin wall.

I have a chunk on my dresser. I got for my mom when we visited Germany last summer because she told me stories of when she lived there, touching the wall was a quick way to get shot. I wanted her to be able to touch the wall and not get shot, so I brought some wall home for her!”

9. Sounds like a classy dwelling.

“A neon sign that says Fuck.

And I’ve got a small version of the leg lamp from A Christmas Story.”

10. That’s rare, indeed.

“A have a custom made Harry Potter wand.

I worked on the Fantastic Beasts 2 film (part of the Harry Potter Universe) and was gifted it by the  director and producer. It has my name on it too.”

11. Family heirloom.

“An opal ring that has been passed down in my family for generations.”

12. All kinds of stuff.

“I’ve probably got quite a few, I have a few rather large lumps of obsidian, an alligator’s head, some nearly 100 year old books too.

Two music boxes made to look like San Francisco cable cars, also got an Albert Einstein bobble head (like the ones from Night at the Museum 2).”

13. Gettin’ wild!

“My 80+ Hawaiian shirt collection.

Yea, I’m boring like that.”

14. Signed and all…

“I’ve got a book signed by Cornelius Vanderbilt. I bought it at a used book store for a dollar because it looked cool. Flipped through the first few pages and there it was! It is an inscription from him to his advisor, given as a gift.

Had it authenticated by a Vanderbilt expert (I lived near one of their mansions at the time, and there were several historical sites and museums there with people who knew more than I did)

So that was a fun find.”

15. House of horrors.

“The foot from a real human skeleton. Six human incisors. A mummified bobcat heart. An alligator skull. A muskdeer skull. A human shoulder blade.

A light-up, car-top “funeral” sign, like the one on Joe Bob Briggs fridge, a water buffalo skull, a Cthulhu glow in the dark bank.

I really, really like weird shit.”

16. I’d love to read those.

“Letters written by my great-great-grandfather to his wife in 1917, while he was POW in Russia as part of Austro-Hungarian army at the end of WWI.”

17. Snap into a Slim Jim!

“I have a Macho Man Randy Savage head that was used as a Slim Jim display down at work.

We got an extra one and I asked for it so now he just sits at my desk arms folded staring menacingly, holding pens in the part the Slim Jim would go.”

18. Very strange…

“I have about 1,500 empty perfume bottles.

My girlfriend collects them. I get anxiety walking past them.”

19. This has to be one-of-a-kind.

“A copy of the Quran signed by porn star Ron Jeremy.

I call it the Quran Jeremy.”

20. It still works?!?!

“A working ipod from 2004.”

I’d like to get my hands on some of those items!

How about you?

What do you have in your home that is really rare?

Please share with us in the comments!

The post People Share the Unique Things They Have in Their Homes appeared first on UberFacts.