Married Couples Confess How Often They Actually Have Sex With Their Partner

Relationships come in all shapes and sizes and, of course, with all different types of sex drives.

ACES exist and can be happily married, after all.

Married couples got together on Reddit to share how often they actually had sex with their partners. Some even shared how long they had been together or how happy they were as a couple.

Some of the responses were really telling, and others were absolutely surprising.

Redditor David-Davis1 asked:

“Married couples, how frequently do you have sex with your partner?”

Some were familiar with dead bedrooms.

“What is this ‘sex’ thing you speak of?” – ThinkingGoldfish

“When she feels like it. So. Once every few months.”

“And before I get the ‘but don’t you talk to her about it,’ yeah, we’re 22 years in, and we’ve had all the f**king discussions, conversations, etc. it’s when she wants. I’m tired of being rejected.” – wormholeweapons

“Same here, and it sucks – married 22 years, and it’s been nearly four years since she felt like it.” – PacmanTurnerOvadrive

“Used to have a very healthy sex life. Currently, have a 12-week-old child. We occasionally refer to him as ‘our cute c**kblock.’ So yes, at the minute, almost never.” – haveyouseenmywetsuit

“23 years. Used to be 2-3 per week. Haven’t touched each other in 3 years though. Not sure we’ll make 25.” – kurt_go_bang

Others were more familiar with the events that killed the bedroom magic.

“Is she carrying the larger share of the emotional load for both of your lives? Does she do all the organization and administration for your home, kids, vacations, holidays, etc?”

“Because if she does, then I expect she’s tired and doesn’t feel close to you or loved by you. Love is a verb, what are you doing to love her?”

“And by that, I don’t mean instigating sex. Sex comes because everything else is in balance. You should both be the same amount of tired at bedtime, you’re a team.” – fairiestoldmeto

“It’s the mental load. My husband does stuff but it’s me who organizes it. For example, cooking is the easy part. Someone has to decide what to have for meals, do the shopping, etc. And that’s me.”

“We both work full-time but because I am available at times to get kids to school and run them to sports etc., I have to fit it all in. It’s f**king exhausting and I’m not interested in sex at all because I have no time to myself.” – tinkleberry2

“There’s also the social labor! Birthdays, holidays, events, picking out what someone will wear, buying gifts, organizing travel, etc.” – JillianWho

“My wife has a number of mental health issues and the meds have basically turned her off of sex altogether. It’s rough but I guess the alternative is she goes off meds and commits s**cide, so I will just deal with the no sex.” – ThickumsMagoo

“My wife had a low sex drive when she was breastfeeding each of our kids. She’s still breastfeeding the second but going to stop soon… I broke my back 3 years ago and was on some medications.. my sex drive was low… it can be a vicious cycle.”

“Women tend to want to have sex when there is a lot of help, support, non-sexual affection… Men sometimes only feel loved when there is physical affection.. it can get out of control when both partners are building their respective control wall.” – ggs_golf

“This needs to be something more men/people understand. You can’t expect sex just because you are married. It’s HIGHLY unattractive to have a SO (significant other) that puts in the bare minimum when it comes to kids and house chores.”

“I work full-time also but still do the majority of the house/baby work. We have sex when I want it and that’s pretty much it. If you don’t put forth effort, don’t expect your SO to want to have sex all the time.” – T00tSw33t090

But some responses were promising.

“12 years of marriage and 17 total years together. We usually have sex about 2-3 times a week.” – TheRaistLine

“If we are busy with work, then it’s once every other week. When we’re on holiday, off work or have a low work period. 2-3 times a week.” – laugh_if_you_agree

“I don’t have kids but I found that once I went from living apart to living together, the sex increased a bit simply because we only had really been seeing each other once a week or so.”

“When we moved in together, suddenly it was like, ‘”ow, it’s 5:30 on a Tuesday afternoon and I can just have sex? Let’s do it!’” – lupuscapabillus

“Find the right woman, and marriage is wonderful. The ‘spark’ turns into a full-on bonfire some days and those days are really great.”

“I don’t think the spark leaves, I just think people stop trying or stop caring about the marriage, which leads to sex becoming a weapon or a reward or something. Marriages take work. You realize it’s no longer the goal to ‘get married,’ you know?”

“It’s just the start of a new way to do things, but you definitely have to keep the fire lit and if you do a good job, you can keep a nice little fire going all the time that at any moment you or your spouse can just add a bit of fuel to the fire and off you go.” – betterthanamaster

“I’m excited to get married. It’s a mixed bag. Some marriages are so filled with love.” – jesse-james-

Others were less frequent but still acceptable.

“Twice a week (Wednesdays and Saturday or Sunday).”

“0 points for spontaneity.”

“10 points for consistency” – steelingjackalope317

“For parents, you’ll get into the golden period, though, with kids where they take these long naps in the middle of the day and then sleep through the night, usually around 12 months to 24 months.”

“Some days it’ll be rough because babies can be handsy and make mom or dad just feel over-touched, but more often, you get the kid down and unless you have to be somewhere or do something, you’ll jump each other.”

“And that sex is great sex because you both know it could end at any time. Kind of like a feeling of, ‘Ooh, we shouldn’t be doing this. What if someone (the baby) catches us?’ It’s fun.” – betterthanamaster

“We have a tween and busy schedules – I just never want our child to hear… so probably 2-5x a month… if we have time to ourselves or if the kid is away, it’s daily, lol (laughing out loud)… but it’s still amazing, and crave each other. Just complicated with kiddos and life.” – No_Interaction7679

“Together 13 years, married 5. Sometimes twice a day, sometimes twice a month. Sometimes life gets in the way, sometimes we can’t get enough of each other.” – NotMeBuyMyCat

“Been living together for 4 years, married for 2. Usually 3-5 times a week, depending on how we’re feeling. There’s some fluctuation based on hormones and overall wellness, and some based on time of year, but very seldom less than 3 times a week.”

“We have a good time. We’ve been working from home together since the pandemic, and we have significantly more sex just due to proximity. Honestly, the pandemic has been a net positive for our relationship, weirdly enough.” – Cadwaladur

These responses were incredibly eye-opening about relationships, including the fact marriage, length of the relationship, or even the amount of sex, do not guarantee happiness.

Rather, it’s about the couple and that each person’s needs are being met.

Whether that means getting together twice a week or twice a year, that’s up to them.

People Share The Best NSFW History Facts They Don’t Teach You In School

Everyone who has gone through a history class in the United States likely learned about things like dictators, leaders and Presidents of the past. Teachers will tell you about World War I and II.

You might learn about people like Benjamin Franklin, Ivan the Terrible or Catherine the Great.

However, you might not know some of the not safe for work details omitted from the classroom about these famous historical figures.

Redditor boopsterdoopster asked:

“What are some NSFW history facts that don’t get taught in school?”

Now that we’re adults, there’s plenty of facts to still learn about outside the classroom.

The most epic party of the last three centuries.

“If you look up Edward Russell in history books or even Wikipedia, you learn about his military service, including Admiral of the Royal Fleet for some famous battles.”

“What they don’t teach is that he threw a party so epic it’s still being talked about 300 years later.”

“In 1694, he threw a party for officers, and with 6,000 guests coming, wanted to make it special. So, he made the world’s largest cocktail.”

“Drained the garden fountain and used that as a giant punch bowl with hundreds of gallons of liquor, over a half ton of sugar, thousands of lemons, etc.”

“He hired bartenders to paddle around in boats, scoop it up, and serve it to attendees.”

“At some point, it began to rain, so they put a tent up over the fountain to prevent it getting watered down.”

“About a week after they started, they had drank every last drop, the fountain was dry, and the party was over.” – MyNameIsRay

“Damn must have been one hell of a week.” – mattisdabezt

“Not a single person in attendance remembered any of it.” – Abbhorase

“If you remember it, you weren’t there.” – RabSimpson

The invention of powdered wigs.

“Powdered wigs were invented to cover up head sores caused by syphilis.” – buddywilson2828

“Syphilis also eventually destroys your nose, which is why old timey writing frequently refers to how prominent a person’s nose is while expounding on their moral character. Essentially, ‘this guy is super great, he doesn’t even have syphilis!’” – SteamboatMcGee

“And small pox scars too. and lice. and all kinds of nasty things because while population was booming, indoor plumbing and clean water were not things yet.” – Makabajones

The first semen ever examined.

“The ‘Father of Microbiology,’ Antonie Van Leeuwenhoek, was the first to examine semen under a microscope immediately after ejaculating in his wife.” – misein-anthropos

“The ‘Daddy of Microbiology.’” – ExplainLikeImAnOtter

“He actually made a point to emphasize that he got it the sanctioned way because, you know, normal guys don’t spank it.” – gertalives

“In his defense, he could have been trying for the most accurate environment next to still being inside her; he knows that he doesn’t know everything, and so keeping conditions of the test as close as possible to the conditions of the events he’d like to understand is sensible.” – Beard_of_Valor

“When he presented his discovery to his fellow scientists, they had to pronounce the obligatory ‘NO HOMO’ to preserve their hetero-ness.” – churros4burros

More than we needed to know about Alexander the Great.

“Alexander the Great had 361 concubines (official prostitutes), 4 more and he would have one for every day of the year.” – Redditor

“Yeah but that would be excessive.” – bigblueh

“Then we’d have to call him Alexander the Excessive.” – nakiron

The life of a sailor.

“During the age of sail, any time a large ship would come into port, the men often wouldn’t be allowed shore leave for a few days. So you would see small boats packed with prostitutes heading out to the ship at mooring.”

“Larger ships of the line would have over 500 men aboard so there could definitely be a couple hundred ladies brought aboard ‘behind the captain’s back.’ and with virtually no privacy aboard, you would have spaces in the ship with hundreds of couples going at it at once.”

“There were definitely a lot of captains that didn’t allow any women aboard, so the sailors on those ships would just have to wait until they could go ashore.” – strengthof10interns

“Also a reason why piracy was, in the long term, an unsustainable economy: because most of the crew would blow their entire take of a prize with women (and to a lesser extent booze) the next time they went ashore. Did wonders for the economy of Kingston though.”

“I love pirates but goddamn they had no long term plan.” – wakattawakaranai

“I doubt most guys in that line of work back then didn’t expect to make it to old age anyways. Might as well live it up while you’re hearts still beating.” – strengthof10interns

“Look at Blackbeard. The most famous pirate of all time – was only a pirate for 2 years and was dead by 38.” – RudolphClancy88

Expedition to Sicily ruined by some drunk guys.

“There was a Greek general who was supposed to lead a major expedition to Sicily. The night before he left he got wasted and walked around Athens with his other drunk friends and knocked all of the penises off of the statues in Athens.”

“This caused him to be arrested, he missed the expedition and they lost almost all of the men they sent to Sicily because only he knew the plan well enough to pull it off.” – izlanda_

“My classics teacher in college LOVED to talk about Alcibiades. He called him the ‘Sterling Archer of Ancient Greece.’” – ParaplegicFish

“Alcibiades. Probably a false accusation. Which got him to defect to Sparta. Where he showed them how to defeat the Athenians and had an affair with one of the king’s (Sparta had two) wives.”

“So he ran to Persia, learned Persian, had an affair with the king’s female relative, showed Persia how to defeat Athens and Sparta. Went back to Athens and got his rank back, then quit.”

“Years later he owned a vast estate where he hosted the Athenian fleet warning them they had their ships positioned where they could be attacked. The fleet officers dismissed his concerns and the enemy burned their ships.” – Oknight

Ben Franklin liked older women.

“Ben Franklin was a super sex freak and loved to tell younger dudes to have sex with older (old) women.” – ericb67

“Ben Franklin was a playboy. He was the US Ambassador to France and slept with the daughters of many French nobles. And when he arrived his clothing would influence French fashion.” – BourbonBinge

“Dude also enjoyed taking ‘air baths.’”

“Which meant that, while he was in France, he would just sit naked in front of an open window in his living room while he did his morning paperwork.” – Gemmabeta

Catherine the Great had erotic furniture.

“Catherine The Great had a parlor room filled with explicit, erotic furniture she commissioned personally. We’re talking blow jobs carved into chairs, an end table where giant dicks’ torrential cumshots were holding up a marble countertop, a woman getting eaten out by a demon on a throne… homegirl had taste.” – OnWarmLeatherette

“It’s all been destroyed but holy sh*t look at this lol.” – fullofpaint

Going out with a bang, so to speak.

“French President Félix Faure went out via death by blowjob from a mistress.” – Ascribed_innovation

“He had a stroke or massive bleeding of some sort, it’s a bit unclear what exactly. Presumably the increased strain was too much for his circulatory system.”

“That’s what happens when you’re banging chicks in their twenties while you’re almost sixty.” – AntiChr1st

“If you die while nutting you are both cumming and going.” – Watamote_lover

Edited out of Anne Frank’s diary.

“Anne Frank’s diary talked a lot about masturbation, but most of it was edited out.” – waxmygwbush

“And about her lesbian crush on one of her friends.” – xandrenia

“‘Once when I was spending the night at Jacque’s, I could no longer restrain my curiosity about her body, which she’d always hidden from me and which I’d never seen. I asked her whether, as proof of our friendship, we could touch each other’s breasts. Jacque refused. I also had a terrible desire to kiss her, which I did. Every time I see a female nude, such as the Venus in my art history book, I go into ecstasy. Sometimes I find them so exquisite I have to struggle to hold back my tears. If only I had a girlfriend!’”

“Writing about her crushes on her female friend and the experiments she had with her.” – Ybuzz

We definitely won’t find any of this information in a text book, but thank goodness we have the internet!

There’s so much we don’t know that we don’t even know.

These Guys Shared Their Stories About Having the ‘Number’ Conversation with Their Girlfriend

This is a conversation that inevitably comes up when two people get together… and it can mean A LOT to some folks.

Sometimes guys worry if their girlfriends have been with more guys than they think they should, so it’s interesting to read what happens when the tables turn.

Find out what happened to these guys when their girlfriends found out.

1. Yeah, it’s really none of her business.

Photo Credit: Whisper

2. Did it though?

Photo Credit: Whisper

3. Why did you tell her?!?

Photo Credit: Whisper

4. Well, there ya go!

Photo Credit: Whisper

5. Oh well. She’ll have to deal.

Photo Credit: Whisper

6. And she should never know.

Photo Credit: Whisper

7. Yes, you should have.

Photo Credit: Whisper

8. Fuck her.

Photo Credit: Whisper

9. Why is this such a huge deal to people?!?

Photo Credit: Whisper

10. See, there ya go! It doesn’t matter!

Photo Credit: Whisper

11. Haha, tell her to scram.

Photo Credit: Whisper

12. Just lie. It’s not her business.

Photo Credit: Whisper

13. Then break up with her! That’s abuse.

Photo Credit: Whisper

14. Get another girlfriend. Stat.

Photo Credit: Whisper

15. You might be too precious with her emotions… just saying.

Photo Credit: Whisper

16. And she should never know…

Photo Credit: Whisper

17. Actions, not words. Prove it to her.

Photo Credit: Whisper

People are so weird about sex.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments!

The post These Guys Shared Their Stories About Having the ‘Number’ Conversation with Their Girlfriend appeared first on UberFacts.

12 Times the Routine “Sexual History” Question Went Weird

The sexual history question is supposed to be routine. It’s there to cover bases and help doctors and nurses check off boxes and eliminate variables, or lead them to the source of a potential problem.

But, as these 12 stories from doctors, nurses, and patients can attest, when the subject of sex is invoked, the routine can swiftly veer into the absurd:

#1. Be Cool

When I was in year seven, probably 11 or 12 years old, I had broken my foot in a way that needed a minor surgery, so my cute twentysomething nurse was asking me the pre questions with my dad.

When she got to the personal part, she asked if I wanted my dad to leave the room, I said no, because, whatever.

When she asked if I was sexually active, I turned to my dad and said in a loud whisper, “I want her to think I’m cool.”

#2. Socially Active

The best response I’ve heard to this question was from a quiet guy in my freshman college English class.

Somehow our discussion on vaccines led to this topic, and he told a story about his doctor asking if he was sexually active.

His perfect response was, “Bro, I’m not even socially active.”

#3. Sweet Ride

One of my classmates was asking a 75 year old woman with dementia about her occupation for a PT exam.

Her response: “I give blowjobs in my garage to afford my sweet ride.”

#4. “Not that that would change a thing, though.”

I’m a hospital corpsman (navy medic) and I had this older retired salty dog as a patient a while ago.

His wife had passed away, but I didn’t know that.

When I asked if was sexually active he said, “Well, no for two reasons: I’m married, and she’s dead. Not that that would change a thing, though.”

I felt terrible, and then he just started laughing and told me not to feel bad.

Seriously caught me off guard though.

Crusty old bastard!

#5. Huge Difference

My doctor was just telling me a story…

Back when they first started performing vasectomies, doctors had to call their patients back for standard follow up questioning a number of weeks after the procedure.

He told me he got the same answers from all of the couples he interviewed:

Any Sensation change? -No, Any performance Change? – No… etc.

This went on and on… until one day, he asked a couple if there was anything different after the procedure. Any changes at all….

The wife said YES… There is a huge difference since he had the surgery.

My doc was very surprised, and when he inquired further, the wife said, “It tastes different”…

He said it was all he could do to keep from laughing as he made the note of, “Seminal fluid tastes different after procedure”

#6. Lottery

I told my doctor back in high school that I wasn’t sexually active and she said:

“And you go to ______ High School?! I should play the lottery!”

The post 12 Times the Routine “Sexual History” Question Went Weird appeared first on UberFacts.