Category: restaurants

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Funny Jokes About the Olive Garden

Chain restaurants get made fun of all the time, but you know what? I like the Olive Garden. And I’m going on the record here and now to tell the world.

Butttttt it’s also to make fun of the OG – and other chain restaurants, too – because they are kind of ridiculous.

Let’s have a whole lot of free salad and breadsticks and get to the jokes!

1. Please never stop.

2. Hey! Low blow.

3. Not a big fan.

4. Wait…am I in Italy?

5. Now an Italian citizen.

6. I’d like to see this happen.

7. Fight the power.

8. Very deep thoughts.

9. A hot first date.

10. We must feed the baby.

11. So that’s where it goes…

12. I didn’t say “when”.

13. Start taking care of yourself.

14. You will live forever, sir.

15. This is a serious issue.

Now I’m full…of laughter!

What are your thoughts on the Olive Garden and other chain restaurants?

Tell us all about it in the comments, please!

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This Colorado Restaurant Charges Customers for Asking “Stupid Questions”

Service industry people are really going to love this story…and they’ll probably hope that their places of business will follow this restaurant’s lead.

At Tom’s Diner in Denver, Colorado, asking a stupid question will cost you. Every time a customer asks what the workers there deem to be a dumb inquiry, they are charged 38 cents…and they put it on your bill, too.

In fact, “Stupid Questions” are even listed on the menu for that very specific price of 38 cents.

Photo Credit: Zomato

Hunter Landry, the General Manager of Tom’s Diner, said, “It’s meant to be playful. It’s good to keep things light in today’s world. The majority of people really get where we’re coming from and understand it’s meant to be playful. Over the years, maybe a few people have been perturbed but the response is generally positive.”

Landry said that his uncle Tom Messina, who opened the diner in 1999, originally added the “Stupid Question” item to the menu. He added that some customers ask stupid questions on purpose to try to make the staff laugh. Two of his favorites that’s he heard are, “Are there any dues for the turkey club sandwich?” and “Does the ice have any water in it?”

So next time you find yourself in Denver, be sure to stop into Tom’s Diner. You can either tread very carefully so you won’t increase your bill, or you can push your luck and see how many extra charges you can rack up if you really want to be a smart-ass.

Posted by Jason Klimowicz on Wednesday, September 18, 2019

This is my favorite story of 2020 so far! Amazing!

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Here Are Some Funny Jokes About the Cheesecake Factory Just for You

If you’ve made the journey to The Cheesecake Factory before, you know they have a massive menu and the options are ENDLESS.

It’s truly an American icon, isn’t it? Tons of food, enormous portions, no sense of self-control. It’s great!

If you know, you know. Right?

1. You’ve been missing out.

2. You’re dead to me.

3. I’m in love with you.

4. It takes a while.

5. You’re right!

6. Seems like life and death.

7. Gonna be a while…

8. Are you having an affair?

9. Let’s get hitched!

10. Here come the waterworks.

11. Gotta power through it.

12. I need another two hours.

13. A new game in town.

14. Better than a new car.

15. You better believe it!

When’s the last time you ate at the almighty Cheesecake Factory?

Tell us about it! We want to get fired up before our next trip there!

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Jon Bon Jovi Has Two Restaurants Where People in Need Can Eat for Free

I grew up in the 1980s and was fully on-board with the music of the time, and Bon Jovi was always one of my favorite bands. Also, Jon Bon Jovi himself just always seemed like a really genuine, nice guy compared to a lot of other rock stars.

It turns out my feeling was right on the money.

In addition to his incredibly successful music career, Bon Jovi started the Jon Bon Jovi Soul Foundation to help fight poverty and homelessness. As part of his initiative, he’s opened two restaurants in his native New Jersey called JBJ Soul Kitchen where needy people can eat for free, one in Red Bank and one in Toms River. The project was actually the brainchild of Bon Jovi’s wife, Dorothea Hurley.

There are no menu prices at JBJ Soul Kitchen, but patrons who can pay are encouraged to donate $20 and those who don’t have enough money are urged to volunteer at the restaurant.

The two restaurants have already served more than 100,000 people, and, according to their website, 54% of people paid for their meals and 46% volunteered in order to eat a meal. Reservations are not required, but those who are in need are given first priority. The meals consist of three courses, are nutritious and contain vegetables grown in the restaurant’s gardens.

Bon Jovi’s foundation also focuses on providing housing to those in need, including veterans.

What the heck, let’s end with a classic Bon Jovi tune, shall we?

Great work, Mr. Bon Jovi! Keep it up!

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This Man Nails Why the Cheesecake Factory Is Such a Bizarre Restaurant

Everyone knows that The Cheesecake Factory is one of the weirdest restaurants on the planet. But what, exactly, makes it so strange? The way-too-long menu? The slightly-insane decor?

A design enthusiast wrote a Twitter thread about his take on the matter, which is that The Cheesecake Factory is a “fully immersive ‘postmodern design hellscape’ themed dining experience.” The thread has gone viral, because it’s hilarious yet surprisingly educational.

“From a design perspective that place is fuckin wild and I’ll talk a little bit about why,” Twitter user @MaxKriegerVG began.

First, he starts with some history: the restaurant apparently grew out of a Los Angeles bakery business. In 1992, they brought in hospitality designer Rick McCormack.

That’s when, @MaxKriegerVG says, “shit went off the rails. We’re talking VICTORIAN-EGYPTIAN-ROCOCO OFF THE RAILS.”

There’s the exterior’s weirdly Old World feel, then there’s the interior: “A world of aesthetic chaos that feels like a mix between a Fry’s Electronics, an overgrown Panera, and a laser tag arena. It’s sensational,” @MaxKriegerVG says.

Between the Egyptian columns, the wood paneling, and the glass dividers, the whole space is pretty much a design mess.

There’s also the odd juxtaposition of luxury and cheapness. The water tankards are plastic, as are the wicker chairs and the table. Also, all the “exotic” fake hieroglyphics and whatnot. @MaxKriegerVG calls it “surreal,” and he has a point.

He also points out the menu — excuse us, four menus — which bafflingly include advertisements “for THE RESTAURANT YOU HAVE ALREADY CHOSEN TO DINE AT.”

“After wandering the menu a while, helplessly, you order and the food arrives. It’s good. Not bad, not great, but good,” he wrote.

Meanwhile, the actual cheesecake is very much the afterthought of this restaurant, despite the name.

Point taken — The Cheesecake Factory is a fascinating study in aesthetics, design, and capitalism.

But more importantly, where did this guy learn all this Cheesecake Factory history and how can we sign up for the course?

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If You’ve Worked in a Restaurant, These Tweets Will Look Painfully Familiar

I’ve spent some working in restaurants. I worked at a taco place in high school, a wing and sandwich place in college, and I worked on a food truck for a number of years. It was a blast…most of the time.

But there are a lot of funny quirks about working in the service industry that can drive you nuts, especially bad customers.

If you’ve been there, these tweets might look very familiar.

1. Don’t pay attention to what you should ACTUALLY do.

Photo Credit: Twitter

2. Seems reasonable.

Photo Credit: Twitter

3. Rock star chefs are everywhere.

Photo Credit: Twitter

4. Only have two arms.

Photo Credit: Twitter

5. Don’t ruin it for everyone.

Photo Credit: Twitter

6. Might take all night.

Photo Credit: Twitter

7. Never a good thing to hear.

Photo Credit: Twitter

8. I want it all.

Photo Credit: Twitter

9. Ain’t that the truth?

Photo Credit: Twitter

10. Them’s the rules.

Photo Credit: Twitter

11. Happens all the time.

Photo Credit: Twitter

12. The answer is “maybe never.”

Photo Credit: Twitter

13. Back to the two arms thing again.

Photo Credit: Twitter

14. It’s all for fun!

Photo Credit: Twitter

15. Sad, but very true.

Photo Credit: Twitter

That brought back a lot of beautiful, and painful, memories for me…

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It’s True: Bill Murray Applied to Work at a P.F. Chang’s in the Atlanta Airport

Just when you thought Bill Murray couldn’t get any cooler…

The man is full of surprises, isn’t he? But before we get into this amazing story, let’s do a quick review of the 69-year-old actor’s great films: Stripes, Meatballs, Ghostbusters, Caddyshack, Groundhog Day, What About Bob? 

The list never ends…

But back to the big story. On a recent episode of Amy Schumer’s podcast 3 Girls, 1 Keith, Murray was asked what job he’d like to do besides acting. He said, “I did fill out an application at P.F. Chang’s at the Atlanta airport, because I think that’s one of the great places. It looks like the best time.”

Of course, Murray’s comments went viral and the restaurant chain itself responded to the story. Looks like he has a job waiting for him if he wants it!

On the same podcast, Murray also admitted his love for Family Feud. He said, “I’m going to give you my little secret — I record it. I can come home and I have recorded 61 episodes of ‘Family Feud,’ because it’s on all day long. It’s on all day long and by law it has to be on all day long. But then, what I do is I take the time to fast forward in each episode all the way to Fast Money. Cause that to me is the excitement part of the show. I skip the early rounds because I don’t always respect their tactics.”

No word on whether Mr. Murray will actually be working at a Chinese chain restaurant, but we can always keep our fingers crossed…

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An Instagram Influencer Gave a Bad Yelp Review to a Restaurant That Wouldn’t Accept “Likes” as Payment

This “influencer” culture is really pretty confusing, and I’m not sure I understand it completely.

Or that I want to understand it.

And here’s another perfect example of why I feel that way (and maybe why you do, too).

A Yelp reviewer who claims to have over 11,000 Instagram followers (is that even impressive?) wrote a negative restaurant review because the establishment wouldn’t give them free food or drinks.

Yelper is mad because restaurant didn’t them free meal in exchange for potential IG exposure from trashy

Does that sound like an entitled person, or am I completely crazy and living in an alternate universe?

The person said in the review that they thought the food and the service was great but ultimately a 1-star review was warranted because, “I thought she would be greatful [sic] for the free advertising but when the check came there was literally no discount at all. I thought at least one of the entrees would be taken off but they didn’t even take off the calamari or even the drinks!”

Photo Credit: Pixabay

The review was posted on Reddit (it looks like it’s been taken down from Yelp) and other Redditors offered up their own stories in response.

“I work at a hotel near Disneyworld, where rooms can reach 300+/night. It shames me how much we comp and how much ass we kiss for bloggers, “influencers” (whatever the fuck that is), social media personalities, etc., only to have the same losers condescend and treat like shit the employees of the hotel. They are a blight.”

“I also work at a hotel where the rates are 300+/night. We tell self-described “influencers” to get fucked.”

“Just so you know, big thing now is to try to pass yourself as an influencer to get discounts and free stuff. You don’t even really need to be one; you just need to tell people you are. Mikey Chen from Strictly Dumpling admits that even before he became a blogger, he’d hound hotels and airlines to get a discount and exploit his status as an influencer.”

Yikes. Not cool.

Do you have any personal stories similar to this while dealing with a so-called “influencer”? If so, please share them in the comments so we can all vent together.

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Should You Order Wine by the Glass?

You may only want one glass of wine, but are you getting ripped off when you order it at a bar or restaurant? After all, buying in bulk seems like a smarter idea. We certainly save money when we buy our oatmeal and cashews out of bins.

But is that how it works with restaurant wine?

Well, let’s start by looking at how restaurants price wine.

Photo Credit: Needpix

If you are worried about the mark-up on wine, then rest assured: the mark-up is huge, whether wine is priced by the glass or the bottle. A bottle of wine is probably priced at four to five times higher than its wholesale cost. The restaurant, after all, needs to make a profit.

Guess what? The food is marked up too.

Now, that’s settled. So, let’s look at the by-the-glass pricing specifically.

Photo Credit: Pexels

A restaurant can get four glasses of wine per bottle, but they might try to squeeze five. If they decide to split a mid-priced bottle, say $40, into five glasses, they are looking at charging customers $8 for each glass.

That sounds a little cheap, though. Customers may get turned off by what they think is a low quality glass of wine. They may even think the food must be low quality. So, if the restaurant charges $10 for each glass just to make it more attractive and in line with the rest of the menu, then that $40 bottle now brings in $50.

And that same bottle probably cost them about $10 wholesale. Definitely a big mark-up.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Restaurants may also employ the opposite technique, though, on a pricy bottle. Maybe they got a great deal from an obscure winery or region, or they want to serve something fancy for holiday time. So they take a wine normally priced high and serve it by the glass at less than optimal price to encourage orders. It’s market research for them. Something to think about…

Also, don’t worry about the freshness if you’re at a decent place that seems to turn their bottles frequently. A good server won’t bring you a glass of stale wine, and if it does happen, then politely send it back. This is pretty much the only good reason to send back wine, by the way.

At any rate, the whole reason for paying a bunch of money to eat at a restaurant is to enjoy the entire experience. Otherwise, you’d cook at home and drink out of a box. Order what you like, whether it’s a glass or a bottle, and don’t worry about the rest.

As long as it’s not too expensive, anyway.

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