People Share the Weird, Wild Family Secrets That Embarrass Them to This Day

Some of these folks had to go through some seriously humiliating situations.

And it all started with a simple question: What’s the most embarrassing thing a parent has done to you?

Enjoy this cavalcade of craziness…

16. “Dad! Why can’t we go to the fair?!?”

Here’s a story that my dad never told me but my uncle shared after my dad passed.

He was madly in love with a girl when he was 17 years old. They were soul mates, lovers meant to be, engaged to be married and grow old together, all that sweet jazz.

They went to the county fair one year and decided to ride the Ferris Wheel. About the time they got to the top and started heading back down the safety bar came unhooked and swung open. My dad grabbed her and held onto the seat. He tried to hold her but he couldn’t.

She fell to her death.

My dad never mentioned it, never said a word to anyone, even to my mom. My uncle said her death broke his heart and he was never the same again, until after I was born.

He would never let me go to fairs, amusement parks, or any place with rides when I was growing up and we used to get into big fights about it when all my friends were going.

He always told me it was just because they were dangerous and didn’t want me to get hurt.

15. This art is s**t!

When I was six years old my mother used to babysit my neighbor Annie. Annie was a very artistic girl; she loved to color and draw everything she saw.

One day, I was playing Star Fox 64 on my Nintendo 64 and Annie was watching. Of course, being too absorbed in the game, I never turned around to see her greatest work of art.

My mom walks in the room to check on us and does a gasp to end all gasps. Annie had made a drawing of a triangular looking ship with a circle around it.

It was Star Fox doing a barrel roll except she made it with a load of diarrhea she scooped out of her pants.

14. The other child…

Apparently, our dad had another kid about eight years older than me.

My mom blurted something out about it after their divorce when she was pissed about something. It was along the lines of, “if he thinks he can forget you exist like that other kid of his.” She then turned very white and I was never able to get more out of her than that.

My dad pretends he doesn’t know what I’m talking about but has apparently told my brother a bit of the story and then backtracked and never talked about it again.

So yeah, apparently I’m not the oldest.

13. The clairvoyant kid!

A few weeks ago, I was getting breakfast ready for my three-year-old when he nonchalantly told me his Grandma fell down the stairs.

About an hour later, Grandpa calls us to tell us Grandma had fallen down the stairs.

Also last weekend, he said my sister was going to visit the next day.

Guess who showed up the next day for a “surprise” visit?

12. Harry Potter trash…

Back in the day (2005) I was 14 and I would print out my erotic Harry Potter fan fiction to read at night, as we didn’t have portable devices like smartphones back then. I always threw them away after.

One day my mom gave me a gigantic see-through bag for trash and that night I read some of the good stuff and then put it in there.

There was probably like 15 pages of printed out smut. While I was at school she rooted through my trash.

She confronted me when I came home like “Why are Fred and George getting intimate with Hermione? What are these stories?? Where do you get them? Are they all like this??”

So so bad. I think I died and I’ve been a ghost for the last 13 years.

11. This one just keeps getting weirder and weirder…

My mom once pulled up my skirt, causing me to involuntarily flash a room full of people, at a family Christmas dinner.

I was absolutely mortified. She wanted to check for any potential self-harm scars on my thighs, apparently. I’ve never physically harmed myself before in my entire life.

I was 18 years old at the time, and thankfully I was wearing underwear so it was not as bad as it could have been.

Nevertheless, she should not be allowed to consume alcohol ever again.

10. Ignoring the eating disorder…

My family never talks about my sister’s eating disorder. She eats a ton and goes on to vomit. She goes jogging for one hour or more per day (every day, no breaks even though her knees hurt like crazy) and refuses to eat any carbs, fruits and vegetables only.

I seem to be the only one who realizes the magnitude of this, and the only one who thinks of this as a sickness, not as a “temporary phase.”

It’s been like this for three years already, and I have no idea when my parents noticed. Whenever I say something I get “shushed” at and later have to justify my “insensitive behavior” in front of my parents. So I just kind of gave up on arguing.

Not sure what I can do to change things without disrupting the family.

9. A dog with amazing comedic timing!

One Thanksgiving, my grandmother ran out of counter space and stuff was sorta burning like crazy on top of the stove. She took out the turkey on the tray, looked around, and put it on the ground for like three seconds.

She intended for it to be there for three seconds.

Her dog, Rosco, had been following her all day.

Earlier she tossed him a turkey giblet, and I guess that didn’t sit well with him. He defecated all over my grandma’s leg, floor, and freshly-cooked turkey in one explosive two-second blast of fiery diarrhea.

8. Who’s the monster?

My three-year-old daughter stood next to her newborn brother, looked at him for a while.

Then she turned to me and said, “Daddy, it’s a monster! We should bury it.”

I didn’t bury it.

7. That YouTube search history tho…

That when my daughter was five or six years old, she would look up videos of dogs throwing up or stallions urinating, based on her YouTube history.

I never directly spoke to her about this but have always told her that she can always talk to me about any questions she had about any subject with no judgment from me.

She’s 14 now and I still haven’t said a word.

6. Bad, bad, bad dad!

My dad, influenced at least in part by the movie Bad Boys II, decided to mess with my boyfriend on my first date by acting like a tough guy.

He filled a whiskey bottle with tea and, when he answered the door, he started chugging down the whole thing while scanning my boyfriend up and down.

He then tried to break the bottle over his own head. The date was canceled due to the ensuing hospital trip, and I became known as the girl with a totally insane father.

“Don’t concuss yourself this time, Dad!” became the running joke in my house once I was able to get a date again.

5. Grandma, the slacker…

My grandmother said she needed a place to stay one night due to issues with her housemate.

She slept on the couch… for the next ten years.

Made no effort to get her own place despite having a very good retirement income and still working part-time as a nurse.

Loved to hit the casino though!

4. Joke’s on you, parents!

It’s one in the morning. I’m fast asleep with my wife in the living room reading.

All of the sudden, the baby monitor is blaring my 16-month-old son’s laughter into my ear. So I jump up, run into his room, and he’s standing in his crib pointing at the corner of the room and giggling hysterically.

I just stared at him for a few seconds before I grabbed him and put him in bed with me.

3. That last part, tho…

About a year ago, my parents caught me singing to my microwave while I was waiting for it to warm up a piece of pizza.

This all happened at 4 in the morning, when I thought my parents were staying at a friend’s.

Oh, I almost forgot that I was naked.

2. The war at home!

My uncle and grandfather don’t have a good relationship but were tolerating each other because it was Thanksgiving. My uncle was cooking lasagna and my grandfather decided to help, so he grated the cheese. He did this in another room, because the kitchen was full of other people cooking, we have a big Thanksgiving with maybe 15 or 20 who love to eat.

I had brought in the cheese and everything was going fine. Flashforward to dinner time, the food is coming out and, as tradition dictates, we always start with lasagna. My grandfather made some joke like,” I know you hate me, but at least I’m grate,” and stuff hit the fan.

My uncle literally went into a rage and was yelling at everyone because we didn’t tell him he was using “tainted” cheese. Then said “f*** it” and proceeded to flip the table ALL the food was on. Then my grandfather called him outside to settle the score, which resulted in two grown men fist fighting in the backyard, culminating with my grandad getting thrown into the pond we lived off of, and slicing his leg on a jagged rock that he landed on.

The rest of us ordered Chinese food and kicked my uncle out. My grandfather refused the hospital because he had a little too much “holiday joy” in him at the time.

Surprising my uncle hasn’t come to holidays in years now.

1. Hugs, not drugs…

When I was 11 years old, I was taken in by the police for questioning regarding illicit substances distribution that had been taking place out of our family’s house.

My dad had marijuana growing in the basement, and he had been using it as well as selling it frequently to neighbors and friends.

When the police raided the house while my dad was at work, they asked me if I knew anything about what was in the room. Since I admitted to having had knowledge of it, I guess that that was all it took for them to feel the need to bring me in for questioning. They even cuffed me and everything.

My dad didn’t show up at the police station till almost eight hours later.

As you can imagine, in a small town like the one where I grew up, people talked. A lot. It also didn’t help that I lived next to a massive apartment complex where everyone could see what was happening the entire time as it was unfolding.

I was the talk of the town for almost two years because of this incident.

Isn’t it nuts that the last story probably wouldn’t happen these days? Well, at least in some states?

So much time, energy and money wasted on the war against marijuana.

*sigh*

The post People Share the Weird, Wild Family Secrets That Embarrass Them to This Day appeared first on UberFacts.

10 People Who Made Marriage Pacts with Their BFFs Share What Happened

Has there been a rom-com made about this yet? I’m thinking that by this point, there has to be at least one (starring Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz, perhaps?).

Surprisingly, marriage pacts actually exist in real life – you know the ones I mean, where people say, “if we’re not married by “X” age, you and I are getting married.”

These folks on AskReddit have the stories to prove it.

#1. I wonder why…

“I met someone once who did this for tax purposes. They were already good friends and planned on divorcing if they ever met someone they wanted to marry.

He was confused as to why his relationships never lasted past him saying he was married.”

#2. Hmmmm

“I know a couple that did this, she left her ex-boyfriend to be with the guy. They each promised to marry one another if they weren’t in a relationship when they reach a certain age.

The ex-boyfriend, who is my cousin, was not happy when he got out of prison and saw his “girl” married to someone and has a child. My cousin isn’t smart and wants a paternity test to prove the child is his, for the record he has been in prison for 6 years and the child is 4.”

#3. Still married!

“My husband and I met playing FFXI (an MMO) when we were about 14 years old. We lived one state over, and became good friends – chatting online and on the phone mostly. When I was going through a typical exaggerated end of the world break up where I claimed to be unloveable and alone forever, he was trying to comfort me and said, “if we’re single at 24, we can get married together.” I reminded him of that a bunch of times in the future when both of us went through bad relationships.

At age 20, finally both single and capable of traveling, we went on our first date. It was lovely. We went to a museum and one of the best steak restaurants in the city – however, we totally couldn’t afford the steak. Did two years long distance (USA – JAPAN). Continued dating, married at 26 (two years late!), and went back to that steak restaurant and got the most expensive steak.

Still married and happy. :)”

#4. Awwwwwww

“Ok, so kinda happened… My husband and I were best friends in middle and high school. After multiple failed teenage relationships we made a pact to get married at 35 if we hadn’t found anyone yet.

We lost touch in our early twenties for about ten years.. each with a child and failed marriages under our belts, we reconnected in our early thirties, realized how amazing we are for each other, and have been happily together since. It was a year or two into our relationship when a mutual friend reminded us of our pact…We didn’t get married until 36, but go us? Lol.”

#5. Worked out

“I had this with a girl. The 30 years of age deadline. We hooked up at 25 and got married at 30. Still together.”

#6. The long haul

“We met when we were 5 years old. We had a crush on each other, but we both switched schools after 4 years, and lost communication. We met again in 9th grade and became good friends, but he had a gf. For years every time one of us was single, the other was in a relationship.

So we stayed as best friends, and only kissed once during senior year. Eventually, after a bad breakup, he tells me if we hit 30 and we’re still single we should get married. I agreed.

Fast forward to 10 years after that, and we’ve been together for almost 2 years. Not married, but still very happy.”

#7. You never know

“I made this pact with a very good friend. We’re both in our separate relationships that are both going very strong, and we still talk very often (she’s in another country so meeting up is kinda hard). I don’t think either of us ever believed we would have needed the pact, but at the time it was nice knowing that we weren’t gonna end up alone.”

#8. What a story

“Not successful. She asked me to marry her by 30 when we were both 19. I said sure because I had a huge crush on her anyway. We dated briefly for a summer before she went back to college and have been good friends the rest of the time. She ended up becoming a Catholic sister after college (she takes similar vows of celibacy and poverty as a nun would, but lives “in the world” as opposed to being secluded in a convent) and works for the church in finance.

We still see each other, are both in our late 30s. We have talked about it and she does admit to wanting in the past to be with me romantically again, that I am the only person she has been intimate with, but that she believes strongly in what she is doing and her vows. I love her dearly as a person and dont think of her romantically anymore, but it would be hard for me to say no if she left the church and wanted to see me again.”

#9. Wish I could go back…

“We agreed manybyeats ago if we were still single at 40, we’d get married. Had a 1 year relationship with her at 30, and it ended badly. We’ve spoken 3 times since then, and I’m in a relationship I’d rather not be in almost 10 years down the line. She is still single, and I wish I could go back and fix the problems.”

#10. Mom and Dad

“My parents grew up a few streets apart and played together all the time. They went to different schools and one or the other was always in a relationship or crushing on someone so neither of them really saw each other as an option until they were both dumped on the very same day when they were 17/19 and decided they’d get married at 30.

They’ve been together for 24 years :)”

The post 10 People Who Made Marriage Pacts with Their BFFs Share What Happened appeared first on UberFacts.

A Mom’s Response to Her Daughter’s Interracial Relationship Went Viral in a Big Way

This is Heather Boyer of Houston, Mississippi.

Photo Credit: Heather Boyer/Facebook

Her daughter recently updated her profile picture, and it featured her and her new boyfriend, who happens to be African American.

Soon enough, Heather received a text message from a “friend” who asked if she knew she was “dating a black boy.”

Needless to say, this fired Heather up, and so she wrote about her feelings in a Facebook post.

It reads…

Today my daughter changed her profile picture. After maybe 5 minutes I get a text ..” I didn’t know she was dating a black boy, did you?”

It took me all day to think up a response, which I didn’t send personally but thought I would share for anyone else that “may not know”

Yes in fact I did know, but the color of his skin doesn’t define who he is. What does define who is he is how he treats my daughter.

I see my daughter dating a boy that comes to my house and shows me nothing but respect (a big deal in my book). It’s always Yes Ma’am, No Ma’am, we talk about football and baseball, he tells me bye when he leaves, and has not once shown me a lack of manners or respect.

I see my daughter dating a boy who treats her good. He takes her on dates, to ballgames, out to eat..not to a club or partying on the weekends.

I see my daughter dating a boy who takes her to church with him. Every Sunday. He plays in the band, she sits with his family. How many young men these days make church a priority? None of the others have.

He doesn’t hit her, cuss her, lie to her, or make her cry. Would I rather her date a white boy that did, to keep from her dating another race? Absolutely not.

So that’s my response to the question I was asked. And I know people have their own opinion, but at the end of the day, the fact that my daughter has someone that loves her and treats her like a queen makes me happy. That’s something I’ve never had in my life and I’m glad she does.

The post is now up to 1.3M likes and 160K+ comments, many of which are filled with support and thanks that she put herself out there in such a personal way. She said what we all needed to hear, so thank you.

Awesome job Heather!

The post A Mom’s Response to Her Daughter’s Interracial Relationship Went Viral in a Big Way appeared first on UberFacts.

This Guy Crafted the Perfect Revenge After Neighbors Threatened His Dog

Never mess with someone’s dog. EVER.

A lesson that this guy’s neighbors had to learn the hard way after they stuck their nose in business that definitely wasn’t theirs.

The original post on Reddit told this story:

I planted over 5000 dandelion weeds in my neighbors garden from ProRevenge

So, basically, this guy’s dog was pooping IN HIS OWN YARD, he picked it up weekly, and his neighbors objected to what? Having to look at it in another person’s garden?

I would have been tempted to tell them to shove it, myself, but I doubt I would have been so created.

They threatened his dog, so they get what they get – I personally loved both the wild paint color and the dandelion seeds.

Though this commenter also had a brilliant idea.

Plus, they’d never be without it when they wanted to make mojitos.

Other commenters were good looking out, reminding the original poster not to plant anything he didn’t also want in his own garden.

The more you know.

Stay creative with your revenge out there, people, and don’t let the neighbors threaten you or yours without retribution. It just isn’t right.

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These Therapy Stories Might Make You Feel like You’ve Had a Cathartic Session of Your Own

Free therapy is rare, but it does happen, and it’s great. And that goes double when the advice makes you feel a hundred times better about your day (and maybe life).

And since people shared tidbits from these 15 great sessions online, you don’t even have to pay!

At least, not this time.

15. People can need help while learning to love you the way you need to be loved.

14. Keep your gaze forward.

13. Pick and choose what works.

https://shesgotwhatittakes.tumblr.com/post/120566898505/shesgotwhatittakes-while-cleaning-out-my-room-i

12. There’s no right way.

11. Stop doing things you don’t want to do.

10. That “what-if” game works both ways – who knew?

9. Do the thing.

8. Blame evolution.

https://the-bi-writer.tumblr.com/post/175089835225/something-useful-my-therapist-told-me-our-brains

7. Permission to do it your way.

https://andhumanslovedstories.tumblr.com/post/172608537696/sometimes-im-like-my-therapist-doesnt-really

6. Actions speak louder.

5. Know your value.

https://petalya.tumblr.com/post/171251036430/petalya-in-therapy-my-therapist-and-i-were

4. It could work for you, too.

3. Coping mechanisms for the win.

2. Be kind.

1. You can’t fight who you are.

I know you’re going to have a great day now!

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A Woman Leaves Her Boyfriend Sweet Notes to Help His Depression and They Will Make You Feel the Love

It’s so important to be surrounded by positive, compassionate people in your life. And this story perfectly illustrates that fact.

If you or any of your loved ones have ever struggled with depression, you know it can be extremely crippling and can affect your life in a number of negative ways.

A man who suffers from seasonal depression has a lovely girlfriend who helps him through the hard times, even when she can’t be near him. The two are in a long-distance relationship. He lives in North Carolina and she lives in Jamaica. The man shared the series of notes that his girlfriend left him in his apartment to help him work through his depression.

He wrote on Twitter “My gf knows that I suffer from seasonal depression, and in order to help me with it she left me random messages in my apartment to make my smile. It’s been a week since she left and I’m still finding them the most obscure places.”

Here’s the first note he shared on Twitter, and she encouraged him to get out and go to the gym. Always a great idea!

And, of course, some inside jokes were in order.

Some good night notes are always helpful.

She also left some great notes to wake up to in the morning.

Another note included some helpful advice like letting light into his apartment and eating healthy meals.

And he was still finding notes even six days after his girlfriend left.

Her final note looked ahead to a bright future for both of them.

He summed it up pretty good with a final tweet in the thread.

It’s pretty obvious these two love each other a lot, despite the physical distance between them.

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High School Sweethearts Who Ended up Married Shared Their Prom and Marriage Photos Side-By-Side

Love, especially young love, is quite a beautiful thing. Anddddddd….

Sometimes it even becomes old(er) love! I’ve known quite a few high school sweethearts who went on to have long, loving marriages over the years, and these photos really just tug at the heartstrings.

Have a look for yourself.

1. Tears of joy

2. That’s nice

3. Junior prom!

4. Keepin’ it real

5. After all those years…

6. High School Sweethearts

7. Nice looking couple

8. All grown up

9. Nice!

10. Same pose

11. Yes!

12. They haven’t aged a bit!

13. Baby shower, too

14. Still kickin’

15. In love

All together now…awwwwwwwww.

The post High School Sweethearts Who Ended up Married Shared Their Prom and Marriage Photos Side-By-Side appeared first on UberFacts.

A Driver and an Elderly Woman Had a Surprisingly Deep Talk About Love and Sex

Taking a ride can sometimes be an adventure.

You never know what kind of conversation you’re gonna have when you take a ride in an Uber, Lyft, or a taxi. And on the flip side of that, the drivers don’t know what they’re going to get, either.

A Twitter user who works as a driver shared the story of an interaction she had with an elderly woman that shed a lot of light about love, sex, relationships, and life.

This is how the story began…

Wow. That’s quite an admission…especially to a stranger. But the old woman obviously needed someone to talk to and, for one reason or another, believed she could confide in her driver.

The story continued.

That’s a pretty incredible explanation. Perhaps this driver also moonlights as a writer in her spare time? The elderly passenger responded to the driver’s description of sex with a woman. She opened up and told the younger woman about her own life experiences and how she never felt fully satisfied with men.

 

The woman then talked about how she wished her generation would have had different attitudes and beliefs about sex and relationships. It’s interesting to think about how many people in her age group probably feel exactly the same way she does.

The senior citizen also told the driver that she and her best friend now live together.

The driver took the woman to her doctor’s appointment and scheduled to pick her back up when it was over. There’s no way that could have been the end of this story.

The driver returned and picked the woman up after her appointment and took her home.

And here’s the final tweet in the thread. And it is a good one.

Is that a tearjerker or what?

A beautiful story about love, life, and kindness.

Be good to each other!

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15 People Share Why They’re No Longer with Their Ex

Relationships come and go, we all know that. And there comes that moment in many relationships when you think to yourself, “it’s over.” You may have been ruminating on it for awhile, or it might have popped out of nowhere, but the fact remains that once it’s been thought, you can’t un-think it.

The beginning of the end, as it were.

And these 15 people are ready and willing to dish on what exactly made that moment happen for them.

#15. She hired two guys to rob me.

When I was nearly robbed. Before the story came out she said damn I didn’t know that your great great grandparents medals were stolen. She fucking hired 2 guys to rob me cuz I told her my brother was having an serious asthma attack and I’ll be at the hospital. She wanted to show me that she found the medals

#14. That’ll do it.

She got pregnant with another guy’s child.

#13. A suckerpunch.

My girlfriend was verbally abusive on a regular basis. She would also get physically abusive when she drank too much. She wasnt really strong enough to hurt me seriously, but when the person you love starts trying to suckerpunch you it is really frustrating. I still miss her a lot.

Some days she was wonderful and the sweetest person ever. Others she was bitter, angry, and would do anything to try to get a reaction out of me by insulting me. Started to become my insecure high school self after a while and had to give up.

She dealt with a lot of really horrible abuse in her past and I didn’t want to ever be the next abuser because of my own anger and frustration so I had to let her go. Still miss her. Still love her. Wish things had been different

#12. A petty argument.

He punched me in the face after a petty argument.

#11. So many things.

Faked a pregnancy when I tried to break up.

Cheated (multiple times).

2 real suicide attempts when i tried to break up.

Fake rape claim threat when i tried to break up.

My hands started sweating and my heart was racing when I saw pictures of her recently. This happened over 2 years ago. This tiny girl terrifies me.

#10. You’re a garbage human.

I was in the emergency room with kidney stones (didn’t know it was kidney stones at the time, just knew I was in the most pain I’d ever been in). She got pissed because “you’re not paying attention to me.” Seriously, I’m in a fucking emergency room hooked up to an IV with pain killers flowing through me, at this point I’m half conscious cuz of the morphine, & apparently I’m a piece of shit for not paying attention to her. It came to a head when I asked her to get a nurse because something didn’t feel right (they had gave me something I was allergic to & I was starting to have an allergic reaction). She said, “Fine, I’ll just be your babysitter.” At that point I just told her to go home, that her negativity was making me feel worse. She got all pissy, threw a fit, and left in a rage. Next day I didn’t even call her for a ride back home when I got out of the hospital, I called my aunt & had her drive me home. The moment I got home I started packing my shit. If you have to be the center of attention & can’t feel any empathy whatsoever while I’m in the goddamn emergency room, you’re a garbage human I don’t want anything to do with.

#9. Yeah…nope.

Been married 18 years, so my ex was an ex from about 23 years ago.

Reason he’s my ex? Got my “friend” preggers, when I confronted him he suggested we stay together and have threesomes. Yeah… Nope.

#8. It was all a coincidence.

Said she wanted a change…. coincidentally at the same time that I finished paying for her college.

#7. His words not mine.

He cheated on me. His excuse was “It wasn’t anything sexual. I just wanted to show her my dick then she grabbed it and put it in her”.

His words not mine.

#6. It just didn’t click.

He was truly a phenomenal person but something just didn’t click romantically. I just didn’t feel the way I thought I should have felt about him.

#5. Life was a cabaret.

She didn’t want to commit, but she didn’t want to be alone. She liked to pretend that she didn’t need my company, and that life was a cabaret, but she did, and it really wasn’t for her. Something in her was afraid of getting too close. I just got tired of it.

#4. I still love her.

Well, she passed away so I guess she is my ex now. I still love her.

#3. One thing in common.

Turned out the only thing we had in common was that we both liked to eat pussy.

#2. A selfish a**hole.

Because I’m a selfish asshole.

Being a selfish asshole is fine if you’re by yourself, and want to be that way, but other people tend to not like it very much when looking for company.

#1. It was toxic.

I realized it was a toxic relationship when he got mad at me for not wearing makeup.

On to the next!

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A Guy Got Roasted Online for His “How-To” Guide for His Next Girlfriend

A fella named Jacob Brown posted a bullet-pointed list that he says was written by his ex-girlfriend. The list is a “how-to” guide for his next potential girlfriend. Whoever it is, she’s going to be a very lucky woman. That was sarcasm, by the way.

This guide to Mr. Brown’s heart is, quite frankly, insane. And it’s really loooong. But, if you want to be that lucky lady, you have to play by Mr. Brown’s rules.

Here is the “how-to” guide that Brown claims his ex-girlfriend wrote for him. Either way, it’s totally ridiculous.

Part 1:

Part 2:

Photo Credit: Twitter

Part 3:

Photo Credit: Twitter

Part 4:

Photo Credit: Twitter

Part 5:

Photo Credit: Twitter

Part 6:

Photo Credit: Twitter

Part 7:

Photo Credit: Twitter

Hmmmmm. Two things: Sounds like Brown isn’t really looking for a partner, but a maid/mother to take care of him. AND I have a feeling (and so do some other people) that Brown’s ex-girlfriend didn’t write this, but Mr. Brown did it himself.

I mean, look at that last paragraph. That is out of control. “He’s so perfect and I hope you are “the one” he’s always been talking about.” Wow.

People on Twitter thought the whole situation was absurd and hilarious.

And Mr. Brown got ROASTED.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Oh so roasted…

Photo Credit: Twitter

Burned to a crisp…

Photo Credit: Twitter

And this jokester made up their own list to mimic Brown’s and it is pretty hilarious.

Photo Credit: Twitter

So funny!

Photo Credit: Twitter

Yikes! Not a look, Jacob! Not a good look at all…

To all the guys out there, definitely do NOT follow this man’s lead.

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